Episode #223: The Armour Of God Series PT5-The Helmet Of Salvation W/Sara Decker

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You know, there's certain times
that I wish we could let people

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in on like the pre conversation
of these things, because

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sometimes there's some some
really good stuff that gets gets

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thrown around and then there's
times I over share, which I

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should probably not do as often.
But nonetheless, it was we.

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We've already been talking for
about 45 minutes and it was a

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good conversation.
Yeah, it was.

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It was fun.
So how you been?

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It's been a hot minute since
you've been been on.

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I've been, I've been good.
Yeah, a lot of girls, a lot of

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things changing, but it's.
Nice, how's that podcast going?

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You liking it still?
Yeah, I still like it.

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I, I actually, my youngest just
started half day school and I'm

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hoping to do more actually.
It's just been slow and I'm just

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been more so busy being mom and,
and so I have, I'm really hoping

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to get to get back in and I've
got a whole list of people I I

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still need.
I want to interview and get get

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going on it more more frequently
because it's kind of it's just

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been a little slower this year,
but it's been good for my

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family.
So.

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That's good.
Sometimes you got to just kind

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of pump the brakes and take a
break when you have to,

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especially, especially with
being a single mom, right?

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You got some, you got some
things you got to got to tend

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to.
And and so you don't necessarily

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have the helps, but it still
looks like you're doing just a

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great job.
And the fact you can keep the

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podcast going with that schedule
is a testament to your work

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ethic.
So good for you.

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Well, I really enjoy the
conversations.

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I think as a, as a mom who loves
all of this, like spiritual,

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religious doctrine and stuff and
scriptures, I love, I'm always

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thinking about this stuff in my
head and I, and I love reading

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and, and I don't always have
someone to talk to.

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So it's actually a great social
opportunity for me when I get

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people on and we get to have
these conversations.

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It's like, oh, all this stuff
that's been stuck in my head.

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Who, you know, my 4 year old
can't, I can't talk to her about

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it.
She's the only one home during

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the day.
So it's it's really.

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Nice.
You'll get something.

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It may not necessarily be the in
depth analysis you were hoping,

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but you'll get something.
My 5 year old actually asks me a

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lot of deep questions.
He just randomly just turned to

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me and go why did Jesus have to
die?

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Hey mom, how did God create the
world?

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Hey mom, like he's always asking
me like the most random

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questions he asked me at at the
Christmas concert for my kids

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elementary.
He just turns to me and goes,

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mom, how to mommies have babies?
What do dads do to help mommies

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have babies?
So funny.

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And he just, he just turns to me
and asks me and the the ladies

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that were sitting behind me
basically did what you're doing

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and they just started laughing.
Like, good luck with that one,

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Mama.
I It was funny.

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See, you're a good parent.
I would have been like, well

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see, sometimes daddies come home
with an extra strong bottle of

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wine and then, you know, just
let it fly from there.

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But no, you know, it's funny, I
remember my 6 year old son, my

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oldest Tyler, when he was 6, I
got asked by a high Councilman

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to go and speak with him.
His normal speaking companion

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couldn't come.
It's like, yeah, I can do that

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for you.
And he, I said, what do you want

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me to talk on, Don?
And he said, I want you to talk

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about patience.
I'm like, OK, so you know, I'm

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one night.
I'm preparing my talk about, you

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know, I got to talk on Sunday.
So it was about Wednesday and I

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was preparing this talk.
And Tyler, who at the time was

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about 6, gets up.
He's like, Dad, I need a drink

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of water.
And I'm like, OK, let's get you

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a drink.
So I get him a drink and I go

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back to the table and I start
working.

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He just comes up and he's right
beside me.

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He's like, what are you doing?
I was like, oh, well, Brother

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Don asked me to go give a talk
with him on this Sunday.

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So I'm preparing to talk.
And he goes, oh, it's like, what

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are you going to speak on?
And I said, well, I'm going to

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talk about patients.
And he just kind of looks down

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at the floor and then he looks
back up at me.

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And he just goes, well, good
luck.

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And then turned around and
walked away and I was like, oh,

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I think that was a critique.
I think, I think I just got

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told.
But no, the the kids will

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absolutely keep you on your
toes.

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But that's what's fun about it
though, too.

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Yeah, we've had a busy year.
It's gone by really fast,

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honestly.
Like, I don't even know where

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this year's gone.
It's gone by so quickly.

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Oh I know they only.
They only speed up the older you

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get I've noticed.
Well, how are you doing?

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Me.
I know your podcast is doing

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really well.
We were talking about that.

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It's OK, it's doing all right.
It's, it's all right, you know,

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it, it's, it's doing OK.
That's good, that's good.

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But you know, I had, I had, you
know, Tonya had a baby that was

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awesome.
So I'm, I'm just so, so, so

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excited to be a, a dad again.
I'm a young baby.

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I swear for the first 3 days my
mascara did nothing but run.

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I wept every time I grabbed a
hold of that kid.

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It it's, it's been so good and
he has such a good baby.

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I mean, he would sleep through
the night if we let him.

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He's he's just, he doesn't
scream like he freaked me out

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when he was first born 'cause
you know, he just let out three

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big screams and then he was just
kind of looking around right?

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Like get well I'm like, are you
OK?

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Is he OK?
I'm looking at the doctors.

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I'm like, what's going on?
He's not screaming.

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He's like some kids just don't.
But real.

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I can't say he's quiet.
He's pretty vocal.

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He Coos a lot and and stuff, but
he's just not a yeller at all,

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which has been kind of nice.
But yeah, I know he's awesome.

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So that's been good.
The older kids.

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I got a daughter getting ready
to graduate College in May.

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That's that's been fun to watch.
Watch her mature and get ready

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to take that step and had a new
grandbaby this year.

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I mean, it's it's been a big
year, been a good year.

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So the clan is growing, which is
always good to see.

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Yeah, that's wonderful.
I've been enjoying watching

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Tanya post her posts on Facebook
and as she's preparing for baby

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and and yeah, just happy for you
guys for sure.

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Yeah, no, it's been fun.
I appreciate that.

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I'm really looking forward to
when you change about 1 and I

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can really start roughing them
up a little bit, right?

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Like I'm told Tanya, we got to
make sure we get him the bib

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overall so I can pick him up by
him and throw him around.

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And she's like, you can't do
that.

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And I'm like, sure you can.
No, I did with all my they

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turned out just fine.
Head trauma isn't the big deal.

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Everybody says it is.
Just don't do it too many times

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in a row, you know?
It's not so much about head

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trauma, it's just lessening the
head trauma and you know, we'll

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just get some a helmet or some
bubble tape.

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You'll be fine.
So 18.

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Months is super fun because they
get super they were start

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running around and lots of
personality.

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Yeah, Yep.
And all my boys have been

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absolute heathens, so I fully
expect this will be more of the

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same.
And, and that was always the fun

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part to me, right?
Tossing that kid up in the air

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and, and catching him and, and
everything else.

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I, I, I really have missed that
part.

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And so it'll be good.
It's been really, really good

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having having a new baby around.
We're really, really blessed.

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So, but here we are, we're
getting ready for to, to drop

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this series.
You're, I got one more

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conversation after yours and
then this thing will be all

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recorded and it should start, it
should start dropping about the

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middle part of January.
And it's been, it's been good.

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I, I got to admit, Sarah, I
really dragged my feet on this

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topic.
I'd been feeling this for about

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a year and I was like, there's
not enough meat on that bone to

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chew through, right?
Like these are going to be 20

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minute episodes at best.
But to my surprise, once this

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fall, this fall, things
crystallized for me a little bit

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about September, things kind of
came together and I was like,

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OK, I, I, I think I get it now.
I think I get the direction.

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And so this.
I know how that is sometimes

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where you think it's going to be
short and then you find you're

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an hour and a half in and you're
like, wow, how did that even

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happen?
Right, right and and look my

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podcast, it range anywhere from
usually about two hours to 3 1/2

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hours right.
That's just normal go time

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because good luck on unpacking
anything Mormon in 45 minutes

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right.
It just doesn't work that way in

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Mormonism.
But nonetheless, some things

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kind of crystallized in this
topic came back up.

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So as as I thought about
different people to talk about

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different subjects and and
prayed about that, your name

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kept coming up with with, you
know, the helmet of salvation is

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where we're at.
And so I'm looking forward to

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find out seeing what you found.
You know, when you reached out

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to me about this, I was really
surprised.

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I thought, my goodness, why is
he asking me to do this?

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Like, why did the Lord ask him
to, you know, prompt him to ask

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me?
So it's been interesting

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preparing for it because I can
see how the Lord's been working

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in my life to prepare me for
this conversation.

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Really well, write that down
because it's not often I'm in

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tune and so when I do, I like to
have record of it.

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So I think it's going to be
good.

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On the other side, when I'd be
like, well, there was this one

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time, this one time where I was
totally in tune.

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So, well, good, let's let's hear
it.

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Oh, OK.
Again.

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You're not going to, you know,
hold my hand through this.

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You don't need anybody to hold
your hand.

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You let's, let's be honest,
you're you're, you're a self

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starter.
It's just funny being in the

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other chair.
It's horrible, It's horrible.

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I've been in the other chair.
I don't like it.

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So I mean, look, I'm not saying
it's fair, I'm just saying this

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is where you're at now, so.
Well, it's a good thing I took a

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bunch of notes, OK?
Yes, yes.

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So I actually the helmet of
salvation specifically is what

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it's called.
And so I thought, so I actually

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just started looking up
scriptures about it because I

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want like, I want to understand
what this even means, you know,

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the helmet of salvation, because
I was kind of, when I initially

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prayed about it, I felt
impressed that it was protection

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from attacks of darkness.
And I'm like, OK, but am I

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totally off base?
Like, what does this mean?

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And how does this apply?
And so, you know, really I just

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jumped to the topical guide and
just like wrote down all the

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scriptures and was reading
through them.

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And I was kind of surprised to
find out that I wasn't totally

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off the mark, OK, like you were
saying, oh, hey, I listened to

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the prompting, right?
That's kind of how I felt when I

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started reading the scriptures
'cause I was like, oh, OK, I'm

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totally, I'm not totally off the
mark here.

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Because in Ephesians when it
talks about the the whole armor

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of God, that you may be able to
stand against the Wiles of the

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devil.
For we wrestle not against flesh

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and blood, but against
principalities, against powers,

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against the rulers of darkness
of this world, against spiritual

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wickedness in high places.
Wherefore take unto you the

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whole armor of God that you may
be able to withstand in the evil

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day.
Having done all withstand, my

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handwriting apparently wasn't
that great.

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I was writing too fast.
The evil day and having done all

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to stand and take the helmet of
salvation and the sword of the

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00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,600
spirit, which is the word of
God.

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00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:37,360
So really fascinating to me
because I'm reading, I'm reading

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00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,440
that and I'm thinking this
finally makes sense.

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00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:45,480
So this week for the first time
in my life, I often have like

225
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,200
teaching dreams.
I don't know if you ever get

226
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,000
those like where you wake up and
you're like, that was totally a

227
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,400
message from the Lord.
Oh, totally.

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00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,000
Yeah.
Yeah, and I and I've had quite a

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00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,640
few of those, but this week, I
haven't had one in a while,

230
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,960
well, like a month or two.
But this one was really

231
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:07,120
interesting.
I never had a dream about like

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00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:07,920
it.
It was.

233
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,000
It was like there was a witch
and she was trying to cast a

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00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,080
curse on me.
And in the dream, she walked

235
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:18,000
past me and had this paper in
her hand and she tried to put it

236
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,680
on my back like where I couldn't
see it but I saw what she was

237
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:24,160
doing and I grabbed this piece
of paper she had in her hand and

238
00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,960
I looked at it and it had all
these symbols that had this like

239
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,400
circle with a bunch of symbols
and symbols around the edges.

240
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,560
And then it was like it suddenly
came to life.

241
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,760
When I read it, it was like the
IT lit up and then it tried to

242
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,840
land on me.
And if it landed on me then it

243
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:41,160
would like I'd be cursed.
Does that make sense?

244
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,200
She was so she was trying to get
in contact with my skin because

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00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,720
if it touched me like I would, I
would get the curse with your

246
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,480
and I, I don't know anything
about witchcraft, right, like I

247
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,320
really don't.
And so I it was.

248
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,480
Not on your list of priorities,
right?

249
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:57,320
You're.
Not.

250
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:01,080
Not not hanging out with the
Wiccans on Saturdays or anything

251
00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:03,200
like that.
No, no.

252
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,960
And so it was such an Audrey.
But as soon as that happened and

253
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,080
I knew what was happening, I
threw my hands out and said in

254
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:15,000
the name of Jesus Christ, I
break any, I, you know, remove

255
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,320
any curse, break any curse,
remove any chains that have been

256
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,880
placed upon me in Jesus name.
Like he is my Redeemer, he is my

257
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:27,560
salvation, I am his and I am
not, this will not be allowed

258
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,000
against me kind of thing.
And I don't remember exactly

259
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,840
what I said, but I woke up and I
thought, Oh my gosh, like what

260
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,720
was that about?
That was crazy.

261
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:45,560
And then I was praying about it
after I woke up and I was, I was

262
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:51,800
asking why I had that dream
because it was so odd and I felt

263
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,840
impressed to do it again in my
waking life, right?

264
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,600
He's like, no, that's power.
I'm reminding you of the power.

265
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,040
Basically, he's told me I'm
reminding you of the power of

266
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:05,240
declaration.
Interesting.

267
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,480
And he said, now do it, do it
again.

268
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,600
And you're.
And so I started speaking

269
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,640
whatever words were I felt
prompted to speak.

270
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:18,720
And I specifically that I
remember, felt prompted to

271
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:28,160
declare that any curses that had
been put on my family would be

272
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:33,640
broken, the chains would be
broken, and it would no longer

273
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:38,600
affect anyone living or any of
our children ever again.

274
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,320
That we would be free in Jesus
name.

275
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,520
Hey, so I got a few things here
if you don't mind me buttoning

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00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:52,000
real quick because this is
fascinating.

277
00:15:52,680 --> 00:16:00,280
So first with with what you
said, the power of declaration.

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00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:06,600
If we read the scriptures really
close, there's actually two

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00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,720
different creation accounts in
there.

280
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:15,680
And Mormonism has has proposes
is that there is a spiritual

281
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:20,840
creation, a planning stage, and
then there's executing in the

282
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,600
world, right?
And those two are extremely

283
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,400
joined at the hip.
They're intertwined, right?

284
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:33,200
I am a believer in an idea that
we all have that same spark of

285
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:37,160
divinity at in us that we get
from our heavenly parents right.

286
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:44,640
And if if things come into being
right, we definitely aren't ex

287
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,480
Nilo right out of nothing comes
something, right?

288
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:50,960
We believe in matter and
organize, but nonetheless,

289
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,840
there's this idea of of speaking
it into existence, right?

290
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,040
We're going to make a plan and
then we're going to work that.

291
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,920
So that power of declaration.
I think that's a real thing to

292
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,240
what you said about cursings on
your family.

293
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:11,240
I was just watching a podcast
the last night, actually.

294
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,319
And look, I'm not sure this
gentleman would love for a

295
00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:18,560
Mormon fundamentalist to be like
saying, oh, I was watching this

296
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,280
guy's show, so I'm not going to
name it.

297
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,920
But he he's, he's a former
military, he's a former SEAL, an

298
00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:28,440
operator.
And he's been on this journey

299
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,640
and he's taking kind of the
public with him where he's been

300
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,920
discovering like spirituality
and stuff.

301
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,560
And he settled on Catholicism, I
think.

302
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:42,920
And he had this this guy on who
is kind of a lay member, lay

303
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,720
clergy inside the Catholic
Church.

304
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:48,840
It's not like he's a priest, but
he he assists with with exorcism

305
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,040
that priests do.
And he was talking about various

306
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,000
types of curses.
And one of those is a family

307
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,040
curse right now, whether that
comes from the outside of the

308
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,760
family in or if it comes from
the inside of the family, it

309
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,920
doesn't really matter.
And that those can turn into

310
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,880
generational curses.
And so just watching this last

311
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:13,200
night and hear you talk about,
you know, the Lord instructing

312
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,920
you to try to break that, I find
that to be really, really

313
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:16,920
fascinating.
Sarah.

314
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,800
Declare ourselves free.
Yeah, the power of Christ.

315
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,000
Yep.
That is really interesting

316
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:30,800
because you know, my kids love
fantasy novels and I was just

317
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:34,480
reading one of about a
generational curse and I'm like,

318
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,240
you know, it's just fantasy in
the in my head.

319
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,880
And yet here I am saying this is
what I've been experienced this

320
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,440
week and I never even like
connected to in my mind.

321
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:48,000
But you know, I so when I was so
when I was reading some of these

322
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,800
verses about the armor, the
helmet of salvation

323
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:56,040
specifically, what was impressed
on me was that when we we'll use

324
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,360
the story of the tree, Lehigh's
vision of the tree.

325
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:04,080
Right.
He talks about walking through

326
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:08,680
mists of darkness.
And I know that in my life

327
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,640
there's been times where there
is a lot going on.

328
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,640
I am maybe emotionally,
mentally, physically

329
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:16,600
overwhelmed, tired, exhausted,
whatever.

330
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,240
And I feel like I can't think,
I'm confused, I don't know what

331
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,040
to do.
I don't know what to say.

332
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:27,440
I don't know which way to turn,
you know, just overwhelmed in

333
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,880
that way.
And I feel like frozen about

334
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:33,960
what in the world should I do?
And I just like spin it through

335
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,600
my head.
I'm always trying to, I'm trying

336
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,440
to figure it out and I can't.
And and then there's the upset

337
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:44,000
that comes with that.
So I'm just framing that as what

338
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,960
I realized.
So while I was going through

339
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:54,200
that, the Lord taught me to
declare faith, declare my faith

340
00:19:54,200 --> 00:20:00,520
and belief.
So, So what I mean is like I

341
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:05,040
would, I was receiving
revelation from the Lord, but

342
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:07,120
then I had people in my life
that were telling me that was

343
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:16,240
wrong and I was trying to make
sense of how do how do I?

344
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:20,280
Understand what they're saying.
Also believe what the Lord has

345
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,120
shown me, you know, like was it
really true?

346
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,040
I'm like questioning it, you
know, and going to the

347
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,920
scriptures, getting support for
what the Lord had taught me in

348
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,440
there.
But like also trying to navigate

349
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,240
relationships with people that
don't believe you, you know, and

350
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,360
they don't, they don't support
you and just feeling that

351
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,080
burden.
Well, the Lord, the Lord showed

352
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:46,000
me like that was the mist of
darkness because it's, it's not

353
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,160
just that you're going through
it, because it's going through

354
00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,520
it is hard enough, but Satan
attacks you while you're going

355
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,360
through these things.
And he, he tries to confuse your

356
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,720
mind and your heart and he
creates this mist of darkness

357
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,400
around your ability to make
decisions and move forward.

358
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,200
And so that's what the Spirit
kind of pointed out to me is

359
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,080
with this helmet of salvation,
is that Satan will throw at you

360
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,560
these myths of darkness,
depending whatever you're going

361
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,880
through, whatever that it is
that's stressing you, stressing

362
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,280
you out.
He'll create these myths of

363
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,240
darkness that make it really
hard to press forward, to make,

364
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:28,040
to make you feel like there's no
way out or there's no answer, or

365
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,600
it's just confusion about where
to go.

366
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,240
And So what he taught me, what
the Lord taught me, was that in

367
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,520
these moments where you feel
these mists of darkness, where

368
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,120
you feel this confusion upon
your mind, this heaviness and

369
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:45,000
this weight, that is when you
declare the power of declaration

370
00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:51,360
and declare that you are going
to believe the revelations that

371
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:55,240
you have been given by the Lord.
You are going to believe the

372
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:59,120
Holy Spirit that you believe in
these things, that you are the

373
00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,640
Lords, and that even though
you're confused about what to do

374
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,680
right now, even though you don't
have answers, that you choose

375
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:13,120
the Savior, you declare Him as
your Redeemer, as your King, and

376
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,040
that you are his.
Does that make sense?

377
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,520
Like you declare in faith.
This is what I believe.

378
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,760
I may not know about this.
Like, oh, I still have a

379
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,600
question about this topic.
That's fine.

380
00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,920
That's fine.
We don't know everything.

381
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,440
You can still have a question,
but declare.

382
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:35,120
But I do believe this, I do know
this is true because this is

383
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:36,400
what I've been taught by the
Lord.

384
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,680
And this other thing, we'll
figure it out in time.

385
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,040
I trust him to help me figure
that out and get me there.

386
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,880
I trust that he has a plan.
I trust that he will help me

387
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:48,240
understand that.
And this is what I believe.

388
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,560
And I know and declaring that
you're the Lords, like all of

389
00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,680
those things, they're just a lot
of different examples, right?

390
00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:56,480
I just kind of jumbled together
there.

391
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,320
But there's a lot of power and
it brings clarity to your mind

392
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:04,880
and can get rid of those mess of
darkness upon your mind.

393
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,680
Absolutely.
You know, it, it's, it's

394
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:19,000
interesting and, and if we look
at the, the manner in which it

395
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,880
talks about this various armor,
it actually has some, some

396
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:29,320
interesting parallels with the,
the washings and, and anointings

397
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,040
in the temple.
I'm not going to go that

398
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,560
direction because quite frankly,
it's just too sacred ground to,

399
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:42,320
to, to trace over, right?
However, there's something else,

400
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,560
right?
And that is if we look at the

401
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:48,600
head, that is kind of the
communication Center for a lot

402
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:53,880
of us, right?
Do you remember I, I, I'm guess

403
00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,720
I'm about 10 years older than
you are.

404
00:23:56,080 --> 00:24:02,720
You remember the first Gulf War
when we went, OK, there was a

405
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:07,640
general, I mean, that this dude
was awesome, good Christian guy.

406
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:10,640
His name was Norman Schwarzkopf.
They called him Storm.

407
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:15,960
And Norman, I mean, the, the guy
was absolutely a man's man.

408
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,880
I mean, he was awesome.
And I remember I was in junior

409
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,560
high when the first Gulf War
happened.

410
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:29,400
And so we, I was having a civics
class and my civics class

411
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,080
teacher was all about current
events.

412
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,960
So he would teach physics based
on what was in the news during

413
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,320
that, that year, right?
Which was cool because it really

414
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,840
kind of put it all together.
And he was so good about like

415
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,000
not letting his own bias come
through.

416
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:52,400
He would critique your argument,
but he would critique your

417
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,400
argument fairly, no matter who
was up there.

418
00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:59,120
So you never knew what side of
the, the, the, the issue he was

419
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:00,680
falling on.
He was just good at it.

420
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,640
But I remember he's like, OK,
we're going to listen to this

421
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,960
press conference here.
And, you know, I, I need to get

422
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,600
up to speed and so do all of
you.

423
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,600
So we're, we'll turn on CNN and
we'll watch this press

424
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,840
conference.
And it was Schwarzkopf up the

425
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:18,440
podium.
And the first Gulf War was over

426
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:23,280
in like 36 hours, right?
Like a war is a little strong of

427
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,520
a word to be using in that much
of A rear kicking.

428
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:29,760
But it was, it was over fast.
And I remember that he was kind

429
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,560
of debriefing and they they
asked him.

430
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,640
They said, well, General
Schwarzkopf, how'd you end it so

431
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,480
quickly?
And he's like, well, we cut off

432
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,320
the head of the snake and then
we killed the body.

433
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:44,440
Right now, to a dude, it's just
a badass thing to say.

434
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:48,160
But he explained what he meant,
right?

435
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,080
He was like, yeah, we took out
their communication center,

436
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,160
right?
We, that's the head of the

437
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:55,280
snake.
We got rid of that.

438
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,920
And when they, it can't
communicate to the rest of the

439
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:00,080
troops, it's like a decapitated
body.

440
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,120
It it has no direction.
It's pretty well dead in the

441
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:07,440
water.
It's up.

442
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:11,000
OK, great military strategy.
And I left it there.

443
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,760
But then I had this experience
when when our kids were starting

444
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:20,120
to get into junior high, right?
And we're living that typical

445
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:27,000
suburban lifestyle, right, where
I'm at work for 10-12 hours a

446
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,520
day, then I'm coming home and
I'm coaching my son's Little

447
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,440
League football team.
And then I'm working with

448
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:38,960
another kid on some scout stuff.
And my wife's taken other kids

449
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:44,160
to, to to piano or dance or
gymnastics or whatever it is.

450
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,640
And we're just missing each
other all the time, right?

451
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:54,000
And stuff that was really
important started to fade to the

452
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:57,400
back, right?
And I was like, OK, what's going

453
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,200
on here?
Because we're not doing anything

454
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:03,320
bad, right?
Football's not bad, Dance isn't

455
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:09,240
bad, gymnastics isn't bad.
We got to work, right?

456
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:16,360
But nonetheless, there was no
time to just sit and be quiet

457
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,440
and connect back with the Lord,
right?

458
00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:23,240
We were trying to fit that all
in on Sundays and it just wasn't

459
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,920
working right.
And so, so often, I think that's

460
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,320
where where the adversary can
really get us, right.

461
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:33,360
I don't think most people have a
problem with like not killing

462
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,680
people generally, I'd say most
people got that really well

463
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:41,560
mastered, right.
But where can he get you?

464
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:43,000
Well, he can get you in a little
thing.

465
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,000
So if you're not listening to
God, if your communication

466
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:50,480
center isn't open for business,
well, it gets real easy to start

467
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:55,440
picking off the kids, right?
And so that helmet, I haven't, I

468
00:27:55,440 --> 00:28:00,880
haven't wondered at times like
is that, and I think this is

469
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,960
kind of what you're talking
about right there, right?

470
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:06,800
That that ability to receive
that revelation that you need to

471
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:08,440
make the strides that you need
to.

472
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:16,840
And if if your if your own mind
is cluttered and not clear, it's

473
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,160
we're going to be really hard to
receive that revelation that you

474
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,680
need.
Yeah.

475
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:27,360
And, you know, it does clear
that path because we get

476
00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:30,040
overburdened by all those
emotions of all the thoughts

477
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,320
we're having.
And then it does get fuzzy.

478
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,720
It gets hard to hear.
And because I know that there

479
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,840
was things like you pray about
it for days and days and days,

480
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:44,120
but the anxiety over is like
just overwhelming and you're not

481
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:47,320
getting the answers.
And it's like, what do I do?

482
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,120
What do I do?
And finally, that's, that's how

483
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,360
I learned this because I got to
the point where I'm like, I've

484
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:53,400
been praying about this for
days.

485
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,760
I've been stewing over this.
I'm not getting an answer.

486
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,840
What do I do?
Well, that was, that's when I

487
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,560
got an answer to and I was told
to declare the truths that I

488
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:06,560
knew.
And because I was turning over

489
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,280
something in my head
doctrinally, you know, that's

490
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,320
specifically what I was
struggling with this something

491
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,840
specific.
And he's like, well, declare

492
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,480
what you know, because then that
clears the space.

493
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,800
It gives you a foundation and it
can kind of clear the room.

494
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,040
And it's like that's.
What I was going to, that's

495
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,120
what's going to ask.
You've done this, so explain to

496
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:29,520
me what it did for you exactly,
Because I'm guessing you're not

497
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:33,400
like going out into the front
yard and getting on a megaphone

498
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,880
declaring what it is you
believe, right?

499
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,520
Not that you're opposed to that,
it's just probably not how you

500
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,960
did it.
So you're declaring these things

501
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,960
in your home, I'm guessing
right?

502
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,480
Correct me if I'm wrong I'm.
I'm declaring them in my mind.

503
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:48,000
I'm not even saying them right.
Right.

504
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:49,080
So what?
What does that?

505
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:52,600
What does that do for you?
Few months back, Justin Frankham

506
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,800
had an idea to make learning
about the fullness of the

507
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:58,320
restored gospel a lot easier.
It was an idea that once I had

508
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,920
my mind wrapped around it, I
felt like it could do a lot of

509
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,360
good.
Mormon Legacy Ministries is a

510
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,720
multi denominational ministering
effort to provide a safe landing

511
00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:10,000
place for Mormons to land until
they find their forever church

512
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,200
home, while at the same time
offering folks an opportunity

513
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,840
for worship and fellowship.
Here's a little bit of what

514
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,160
Mormon Legacy Ministries is
offering.

515
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:22,600
Every second and 4th Saturday of
the month at 3:00 PM Mountain

516
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,320
Standard Time, a sacrament
meeting is conducted by Joshua

517
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:28,040
Erickson.
Every Thursday at 6:00 PM

518
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,600
Mountain Standard Time is the
Gospel Fundamentals class hosted

519
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:34,080
by Eleor Walker and Braxton
Bogart.

520
00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,600
Quarterly men's meetings are
also held.

521
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:40,000
The next one of those will be
Saturday, February 14th at 6:00

522
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,360
PM Mountain Standard Time.
There's a women's organization,

523
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,120
and to learn more about that, go
to mormonlegacy.org and click on

524
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:49,560
that link.
Finally, for a limited time,

525
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:54,000
starting February 2nd at 6:00 PM
and every Monday after that at

526
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:57,280
6:00 PM Mountain Standard Time,
a discussion group will be held

527
00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:00,600
on the book The 5000 Year Leap
by Cleon Skousen.

528
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:05,480
So whether you're an independent
Mormon fundamentalist, or maybe

529
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:08,160
you're a Mormon fundamentalist
already in a group, but you want

530
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,800
more opportunities to learn and
serve, or perhaps you're an LDS

531
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:15,080
person wanting to learn more
about what your theological

532
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,600
cousins believe, or maybe even
you're not a Mormon at all and

533
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,920
you're just curious about the
faith, Mormon Legacy Ministries

534
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:24,280
is the place for you where you
can go to learn all those things

535
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,840
from the comfort of your own
home over Zoom.

536
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To get there, all you need to do
is go to mormonlegacy.org and

537
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,560
then click any or all of those
classes that are being offered

538
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,360
there.
Again, that's Mormon

539
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,360
legacyministries.org.
Go there today and sign up.

540
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,840
Well, because I use the Mist of
dark, I use the mist of darkness

541
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:50,120
reference because that's what
the spirit kind of showed me

542
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,320
was.
Probably the easiest way to

543
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:57,480
explain it is this confusion
confusing mist of darkness that

544
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:02,680
was hungover me and my struggle
to make this decision or get

545
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,240
bring clarity to something was
cleared.

546
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,680
It was calm that the storm in my
mind and heart were calmed

547
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,880
enough to bring clarity because
there wasn't any clarity prior

548
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,160
to that.
It was It just felt like chaos

549
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:20,440
in my mind.
And so to me, those declarations

550
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:27,280
when you declare yourself the
Lords, like he is my Lord, he is

551
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,280
my savior.
He breaks those chains.

552
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,160
What do you think?
If you say the Lord can break

553
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:36,080
chains, don't you think he's
going to come break some chains

554
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,280
for you?
You know what I mean?

555
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:42,920
Like that unlocks a door to
allow him to do these things for

556
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,000
you.
You know, he is.

557
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,360
So for me it's it just bring
brought calm and clarity back to

558
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:54,640
my mind.
And I do and you can couple this

559
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:59,960
with casting out because because
sometimes like it may be very

560
00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:03,360
apparent that this is an attack
from the adversary and he is

561
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:06,120
trying to attack.
And that was another thing that

562
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:11,120
kind of came to me as I was
studying is that we have the

563
00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:14,200
power to crush his head.
You know, like he may come and

564
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:21,160
try to pester and annoy us.
But when you're claiming to be

565
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:25,200
the Lords and he has the power
to crush the head of Satan and

566
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:28,840
all his minions and his dominion
and is the powers of darkness

567
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:33,360
like this verse says, against
principalities, powers against

568
00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,040
the rulers of darkness of this
world as against spiritual

569
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:41,040
wickedness, you're declaring
what side you're on.

570
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:45,280
And I and I do think that light
that you are literally inviting

571
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:48,720
in and declaring that owns you
like I am his.

572
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:53,200
I'm not, I'm not Satan's you
don't have power here because I

573
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:58,160
am the Lords.
It clears out that darkness

574
00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,560
quite in in reality, you know,
it's not just the mist of

575
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:06,200
darkness.
It's the it's the the enemy that

576
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:10,239
has been sent to bring you down
because they're hoping.

577
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,679
I mean, I can't speak for them,
but I imagine they're hoping

578
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:18,320
that you'll decide throw up your
hands and do something wrong

579
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:21,840
instead of the right thing in
that situation or, or decide all

580
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,679
of it's ridiculous and you're
just going to reject the gospel

581
00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:29,040
totally or, you know, whatever
it is like they, they want you

582
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:32,639
to just throw your hands up and
walk away regardless of the

583
00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:35,400
situation.
And so for me, it brought,

584
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:40,280
brings me strength, it brings me
clarity, it brings me peace, but

585
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:45,800
it also brings a feeling of a
foundation like I'm not, it's

586
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:47,800
not a whirlwind anymore.
I don't feel like I'm in a

587
00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,040
whirlwind anymore.
I feel like I'm on my own 2

588
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,800
feet.
I feel grounded and I feel that

589
00:34:53,800 --> 00:35:00,720
strength return to me.
So, and to me, that's the IT

590
00:35:00,720 --> 00:35:03,880
also brings back that hope of
salvation and connects, connects

591
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:10,800
you back to the Lord.
Yeah, You know, as you described

592
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:16,680
how you were feeling before you
do that, it's chaos, right?

593
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:21,400
It's it's, there's no
communication from heaven right

594
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:27,920
when your mind is that.
Well, I could say I've had

595
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:32,000
communication even during that
time, but when I'm emotionally

596
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:37,280
in a place where I can hear it,
but I can't get myself to a

597
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,640
place of peace still.
You know, like the spirit might

598
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:46,000
try to, might be speaking to me,
but like I can't quiet my own

599
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:50,760
heart enough to move past it.
Gotcha.

600
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,920
Yeah, I see what you're saying.
So it it, it's a mechanism by

601
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:59,840
with by with it, it just kind of
clears out all the other noise

602
00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:02,040
that tries to drowned everything
else out.

603
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:04,360
Is that fair?
Yeah.

604
00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:09,160
Yeah, yeah, makes sense.
And then?

605
00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:13,000
Boundary for me too, because I
do physically feel that fog

606
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:18,640
clear and I do feel those
attacks ceasing, you know,

607
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:23,680
because I do really think that
these entities will will come

608
00:36:23,680 --> 00:36:25,920
and whisper things in your ear
that I read this book one time

609
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:33,280
as a young mom where he he had
like angels usually walk with

610
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:34,480
you.
But then if you sit and you

611
00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:38,320
think all these negative
thoughts, then that invites the

612
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:41,280
adversary and his minions to
come and dwell within your space

613
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,840
and then they whisper things in
your ears.

614
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:48,120
And I never, it was supposed to
be a fiction novel, but I

615
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:51,240
thought it was a really great
depiction of what probably

616
00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:54,120
really happens.
Because, you know, if you were

617
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:58,520
putting on heavy metal music and
you're listening to really

618
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:03,480
violent, aggressive stuff,
you're inviting a certain spirit

619
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,200
and whatever entities inhabit
that frequency.

620
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:10,560
Does that make sense?
So.

621
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:14,360
No, that makes that makes total.
Flaring when you're declaring

622
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,680
faith on the Savior, when you're
just declaring your trust in the

623
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:23,600
revelation, you're raising your
own frequency.

624
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,640
I know some people don't aren't
going to like that word to be

625
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,760
more aligned with the Spirit, to
be more aligned with the Lord

626
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,760
and the Spirit so that you can
have that peace.

627
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,800
That's that you can hear more
clearly.

628
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,680
Sure.
No, 100%.

629
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,440
And look what we take in as far
as media and, and this is

630
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:47,520
another place where I feel like
that helmet of salvation is

631
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,600
super important.
And you kind of alluded to it,

632
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:54,880
right?
When you and I were growing up,

633
00:37:55,440 --> 00:38:00,480
especially me more than you,
given the age gap, you kind of

634
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:06,000
had a lot more control over what
came to your ears, right?

635
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:12,840
You did have the radio, but by
and large, it was, gosh, I'm

636
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,600
going to date myself.
Don't laugh.

637
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,360
A Walkman or a portable CD
player, right?

638
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:21,400
You kind of controlled what was
there.

639
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:26,000
Even iPod to a certain degree
were only songs you were going

640
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,400
to download.
My point is, is it was very

641
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,480
intentional what you were going
to listen to today.

642
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:36,160
I think it's different, right?
In the age of streaming

643
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:41,480
recommendations, the algorithm,
right, you get all, you're

644
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:45,880
exposed to a ton, a lot that
maybe you don't even want, but

645
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,360
you're so busy doing other
things as you do it.

646
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:50,720
It's still getting piped in
there, right?

647
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:55,600
You may not consciously consume
it, but you're still consuming

648
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,720
it, right?
It's kind of like me when I go

649
00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:01,920
to the fridge at 1:00 AM, maybe,
maybe I'm going to get a glass

650
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:03,920
of water.
There's also a good chance I'm

651
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:05,640
going to find something else in
there yummy.

652
00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:10,240
And at 1:00 AM, subconsciously,
I have no willpower, right?

653
00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:13,560
Same sort of scenario, right?
You're doing other things and

654
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:17,160
the bad stuff is getting piped
in, or in my case, taking it

655
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,720
right to the pie hole, one or
the other.

656
00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:24,080
Anyway, my point is, is that as
you're distracted, other things

657
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:28,320
can be fed to you now unlike any
other time in history, right?

658
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:35,880
And so that allows you to have
ideas planted in your mind,

659
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,920
right?
Well, Satan uses those tactics.

660
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,480
Those aren't tactics just
because devices.

661
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,400
I mean, because we have TV or
instant streaming services or

662
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,600
any of that.
It's it's all the same tactic

663
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,760
that I'm talking about with
Satan in your mind, because

664
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:54,760
there's nothing wrong with
going.

665
00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,120
I'm, I didn't like, did I do
something wrong in this

666
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:02,640
situation?
But you know, that kind of

667
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:06,440
humility is a good thing.
But if Satan's gonna then jump

668
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,240
in and go, oh, wait, she's
questioning right now.

669
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,720
I can tell her her energy looks
a little low or something or I

670
00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:15,440
don't know.
I don't know how he tells, but

671
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,320
he jumps in and goes, you're a
terrible mom.

672
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:21,920
You know what I mean?
Like it could just be something

673
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,560
that simple.
And then he starts whispering

674
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,760
things to you and then you start
spiraling when that's not even

675
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:29,920
how it started.
You know what I mean?

676
00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:34,640
You just you just it's like you,
you innocently dip your foot in

677
00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,560
something and then and not not
even anything evil.

678
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,160
And Satan's like, let's turn the
tide.

679
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:48,080
And so and that's, you know, and
I think that's why we have the

680
00:40:48,080 --> 00:40:51,880
whole armor that's talked about
in these verses because and

681
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,680
that's where you can jump back
in your scriptures and re

682
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:57,440
fortify your boundaries and your
discernment.

683
00:40:57,440 --> 00:41:02,000
I do think, you know, being
immersed in the scriptures

684
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,720
regularly gives you the
discernment with the spirit of

685
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:10,440
like, is this, does something
have the spirit with it?

686
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:14,640
You know, does it bring with it
that signature that you

687
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,760
recognize with the scriptures?
Does that make sense?

688
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:18,200
Oh, that.
Makes total.

689
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:21,000
Sense we're more aware of the
darkness when we're so used to

690
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:25,040
the light it it's be more
offensive to our spirit.

691
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:30,320
There was an old man that once
taught me a really good lesson

692
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,600
when I was just becoming a
Mormon.

693
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:37,720
And it was it was actually a
stake patriarch.

694
00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:41,280
And I remember one of the things
that said in my my patriarchal

695
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,200
blessing was, you know, I bless
you with the gift of

696
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,280
discernment.
And a lot of people get that

697
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:47,760
right.
That's nothing special in the

698
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,760
LDS Church.
I think it's almost prerequisite

699
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,720
to a patriarchal blessing.
I could be wrong, but at any

700
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:55,840
rate.
It's not in everyone.

701
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:01,080
'S not in Sarah's.
Like I can tell I've seen people

702
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:05,240
but but I didn't know what I
was.

703
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,120
Thinking Dave.
Yes.

704
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:13,400
That's.
What I, I went ahead and I, I

705
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,080
asked the patriarch, I'm like,
what does discernment mean?

706
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,720
Because I'm all of like 17,
right?

707
00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:21,560
17, maybe 18.
What is discernment?

708
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,120
And he's like, well, it's kind
of like a, a spiritual tool that

709
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,200
helps you know, what decision to
make.

710
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:35,360
I was like, OK, I get that now,
but that discernment doesn't

711
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:40,240
just appear without work, right?
There's a whole language of the

712
00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:42,600
spirit that we have to figure
out.

713
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:46,080
We, it is very much like
learning to speak a new

714
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:50,120
language.
And I asked him, I said, how do

715
00:42:50,120 --> 00:42:53,400
you develop it?
How do I develop this, right?

716
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,840
It's one thing just to lay your
hands on my head and, and talk

717
00:42:57,840 --> 00:42:59,360
about some really cool things,
right?

718
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:00,960
And I have no doubt he was in
tune.

719
00:43:01,680 --> 00:43:04,360
But my question is, how do you
develop that?

720
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:12,640
And he said you need to become
so familiar with truth that you

721
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:14,640
can see an imposter coming a
mile away.

722
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,160
And I think that's kind of what
you were hitting on when you

723
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,680
said you just know, right?
It's got that signature on it or

724
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:25,680
that seal, I think you said,
where you can tell it comes from

725
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,080
the Lord.
But that takes work, right?

726
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:31,800
Yeah, That is not.
Some of us are born just knowing

727
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:34,160
that.
But more times than not, I would

728
00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:38,680
venture to say that is a trait
and a skill that has to be

729
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,360
learned.
And so how do you learn that?

730
00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,120
Because look, here, here's the
truth, right?

731
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:51,760
Feelings.
We it's by feelings that we're

732
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,880
told that we would know the Book
of Mormon is true.

733
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:58,000
But.
I wouldn't consider the spirit

734
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:00,360
feelings.
What's that?

735
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:02,960
I don't consider the spirit
feelings like if you're talking

736
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:06,160
about emotions, like it's not
emotion or anything.

737
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:10,760
Well, I mean, it evokes emotion,
right?

738
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,040
There's a reason why when we
encounter something really holy

739
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:17,200
that the Spirit gives us, maybe
we we tear up a bit, right?

740
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:21,240
So there's definitely emotion
involved, right?

741
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:27,600
So how do you parse out between
what's truly a message and what

742
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:35,480
is just your emotions, right?
I had this conversation with a

743
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:43,200
good friend of mine and he was
going down some very, very dark

744
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:48,560
paths, like completely away from
Christ, kind of like questioning

745
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:52,040
his divinity, right?
And he's like, but when I study

746
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,440
those other things, I feel good.
And I'm like, dude, I feel good

747
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,200
at a Jimmy Buffett concert, but
I'm not ready to sign up and be

748
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:01,320
a roadie, right?
Like so we got to be able to

749
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:05,440
parse out, parse that out.
And how do you get to that

750
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:06,920
point, Sarah?
How?

751
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:13,520
How are you able yourself to
parse out how much of this is me

752
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,160
versus how much of this is the
spirit?

753
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:23,680
Well, I guess to me, the most
clear answer I could probably

754
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:28,360
give is that it's the things
that don't come from me.

755
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:34,000
And what I mean is like an
example I've used with people

756
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:37,560
before, because you know, if you
don't have a lot of really

757
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:40,880
strong experiences with the
spirit and emphasis said with

758
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,600
all compassion, it's like they
just don't understand.

759
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:48,760
And, and I understand it would
be confusing to understand if

760
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,120
you've never had that
experience.

761
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,120
And so that's said with with
understanding and not

762
00:45:54,120 --> 00:46:00,080
condemnation at all.
But for me, you know, one time,

763
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:01,440
I'll just use this as an
example.

764
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:06,520
I had, I, I'm divorced now and I
was, it was at the end of my

765
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:13,000
marriage and my ex-husband and I
had gotten in a, in an argument

766
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:15,960
and through the whole thing, you
know, like I had tried to keep

767
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,840
my cool for so long, so long, so
long, so long, you know, and

768
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,080
there was so many mean things
that were being said.

769
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,040
And then I finally kind of said
something a little bit

770
00:46:25,040 --> 00:46:28,440
sarcastic, you know, towards the
end of the conversation.

771
00:46:29,360 --> 00:46:34,040
And then it ended and I walked
away and I prayed and I said, is

772
00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,680
there anything I need to
apologize for?

773
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:42,400
Well, the Spirit told me,
pointed something out to me.

774
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:46,400
You know, I, there's, we know
what it feels like to try to

775
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,480
remember something or to make
plans in our head.

776
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,960
Like I'm, you know what that
feels like.

777
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,200
You're like, oh, I'm trying to
remember this or, OK, this is

778
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:57,520
when I need to do this and this
is my plan for the day or

779
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,240
whatever.
We know how that feels.

780
00:47:00,240 --> 00:47:06,080
But when the spirit was teaching
me that it was a unprompted

781
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:10,880
thought filled with clarity and
vision, like a little movie, an

782
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,200
unprompted little movie that
popped up in my mind.

783
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:20,360
I almost describe it as like a,
a movie set above the my, my

784
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,800
mind.
It's like a little movie screen

785
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:27,520
that goes above my mind's eye
that showed that showed me this

786
00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:28,680
is the moment where you screwed
up.

787
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:34,560
You need to apologize.
They didn't come from me.

788
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,520
It didn't come from me.
You know what I mean?

789
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:40,040
Like I, I was asking because I
was in humility enough to go

790
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:44,400
like, how do I make this right?
But I would I didn't tell myself

791
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,640
I didn't.
It was an I didn't work for that

792
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,280
answer, you know?
And then there was another time

793
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,840
we'd gotten in an argument, the
same argument we'd gotten in so

794
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:57,520
many times, and I tried to word
it differently.

795
00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:00,480
I tried to be more kind, more
understanding.

796
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,200
I don't know.
I just, I had tried so many

797
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,160
different ways to have this
conversation and it always

798
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:11,200
seemed to end in an argument.
And I thought, Lord, I don't, I

799
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,640
don't, I don't know how to have
this conversation any

800
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:18,920
differently.
I need you to show me how to be

801
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,240
what he needs because I don't, I
don't know.

802
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:26,400
I don't know how.
And there's got to be an option

803
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:30,240
here that I can't see.
And I recognize.

804
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:36,280
I recognize that I grew up a
certain way and this is how I'm

805
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,240
used to speaking to people and
that my understanding is

806
00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:46,360
limited.
Show me, please, how this could

807
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,920
have ended without a fight.
Show me another way.

808
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:56,040
And in that, in that situation,
again, it was like a little, it

809
00:48:56,040 --> 00:49:02,040
was like a movie in my mind that
played out the whole scene and

810
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:03,760
spoke words I'd never even
considered.

811
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:06,920
And there was no fight at the
end.

812
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:12,200
And it was beautiful.
And I thought, wow, that was an

813
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:14,320
option I'd never even thought of
like that.

814
00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:16,320
My family doesn't talk to each
other like that.

815
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,120
Like I wasn't raised that way.
I don't think that way.

816
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:24,240
Thank you.
It was it was mind expanding.

817
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,640
So, so maybe that's a good way
to describe it too.

818
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,520
If it expands your mind in a
positive way that brings you

819
00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:35,720
faith, clarity, understanding,
knowledge and lifts you.

820
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:40,520
Because for me, like my
experiences with the spirit are

821
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:44,880
always lifting and clarifying.
It feels like light in my heart.

822
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:48,480
It edifies me.
It expands my capacity for

823
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,000
truth.
It broadens my understanding in

824
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:56,960
my mind.
It helps, you know, I think it's

825
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,600
I do think that power of the
spirit is also that sanctifying

826
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,680
power that comes and helps to
clear out kind of that muck in

827
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:09,640
us as we come before the Lord in
humility and we're willing to

828
00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,440
listen.
We're willing to hear him and to

829
00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:21,040
receive from him and, and, and
set ourselves at the feet of the

830
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:28,000
cross.
And so if there was a key, I

831
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:33,120
think it's, I think it's
humility, but also the way I

832
00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:38,640
know is that it's not me.
It's like I said it because it

833
00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:42,080
doesn't come from me.
It's something that is foreign,

834
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:51,000
maybe even to me.
So I don't have anything quite

835
00:50:51,720 --> 00:50:55,240
that in depth or personal, but
the one thing that I will say

836
00:50:56,720 --> 00:51:00,480
said if it seems too easy you
might want to question the

837
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:03,240
source.
What do you mean?

838
00:51:06,080 --> 00:51:09,840
Well, I'll just use this as an
example.

839
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,600
I fought the Lord on making this
podcast, right?

840
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:19,640
I fought him for three days hard
like new.

841
00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:22,960
No, not going to do it in three
months.

842
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:31,000
Yeah, well, that's that's OK.
I I'm I'm guessing that that you

843
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,040
probably didn't use nearly the
choice language that I used when

844
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:37,640
I said that, But no, it was
like, absolutely not.

845
00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:42,440
I don't think I'm not going to
say ever.

846
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,760
I do think that there are times
for for well done.

847
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,360
Take a break, right.
I'm not saying that there's not,

848
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:54,960
but at least in my case, and
I'll just speak for me, I don't

849
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,520
think the Lord's going to tell
me anytime soon.

850
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:57,760
You know what you need to do,
Dave.

851
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:00,480
You need to scrap all this.
You need to go to the beach.

852
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,640
You need to kick your feet up
and just watch the tide roll in.

853
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,880
That doesn't seem to be in the
cards, right?

854
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:11,000
That and that really doesn't.
You might get moments of

855
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:14,840
reprieve that are like that, but
by and large, I think

856
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:18,000
discipleship is high adventure,
right?

857
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:22,320
You're doing things and you're
going to be stretched doing

858
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,680
them.
And so a lot of times, if the

859
00:52:25,680 --> 00:52:31,760
answer is too easy, I'm like, is
that really it, right?

860
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:34,440
Is that more me?
And nine times out of the 10,

861
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:38,920
it's more me or maybe even the
adversary, right, trying to take

862
00:52:38,920 --> 00:52:42,400
you off the board.
Here's the other thing I think a

863
00:52:42,400 --> 00:52:45,040
good way to tell is
understanding what time it is

864
00:52:45,040 --> 00:52:49,520
overall, right?
I as as a guy who believes in

865
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:54,360
the restoration, I don't think
the term latter days was used

866
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:57,040
lightly.
I do believe that that was

867
00:52:57,040 --> 00:53:00,320
intentional.
And so as we look at current

868
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:04,880
events, if, if you can know what
time it is, I think that can do

869
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,160
a lot to help filter those
things out.

870
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:11,560
And as the work hastens, we
should probably expect our

871
00:53:11,560 --> 00:53:14,440
workload to hasten as well if
we're on his errand.

872
00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:19,400
And so, yeah, I tend to look at
things that are a little too

873
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,400
easy.
Is, is this really from him?

874
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,360
Is this really what he wants me
to do?

875
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:27,400
9 times out of 10, it's me just
being a wuss, ready to tap out.

876
00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:31,360
But none the less, I, I do think
that's the thing.

877
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,600
And there's something else I
wanted to bring up that that you

878
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:38,440
had talked about, about how when
you're at your lowest, then the,

879
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:42,160
the, then Satan comes in and
whispers things to you.

880
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,120
Then it's been his pattern from
the beginning.

881
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:53,560
If we go to the garden, right,
the Garden of Eden, and we look

882
00:53:53,600 --> 00:54:02,960
at what's in Genesis, he tells
Adam and Eve, you're naked, make

883
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:07,000
some aprons, you better hide.
He's coming and they hide.

884
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:12,720
Now what's interesting is that
through this whole thing, Adam's

885
00:54:12,720 --> 00:54:19,280
God is the one seeking him out.
Adam, where are you?

886
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,120
Adam?
Right.

887
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:25,000
Let's be, let's be clear to God
was not surprised, right?

888
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:28,040
It's not like God got down there
and went, I didn't see this

889
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,600
coming, you know?
No, he knows, right?

890
00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,880
And I think this is something
also to keep keep in mind is

891
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:39,640
that when we fall and when we
stumble and we all fall and we

892
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:43,520
all stumble, that's just part of
this whole experience.

893
00:54:44,800 --> 00:54:47,800
There will be those who will
tell you hide.

894
00:54:48,680 --> 00:54:51,640
Maybe it's the adversary
himself, maybe it's other

895
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,160
friends, right?
Hide.

896
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:55,000
You don't want him to see you
like this.

897
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,360
You've done too much.
There's no coming back.

898
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:01,280
Just hide.
Remember, God is still seeking

899
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,600
you out.
The only thing you got to do is

900
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:09,080
put that helmet on so you can
have that communication that you

901
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:12,920
need to hear His voice and get
some things worked out.

902
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,840
But it is a very clever ploy.
Just hide.

903
00:55:20,240 --> 00:55:23,880
It is, it is.
It's actually one of the things

904
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,840
this year.
It's kind of interesting.

905
00:55:28,920 --> 00:55:31,560
Like a couple weeks ago, that
was basically the whole week.

906
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:35,120
It was like every single part of
my life, all the different, any

907
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:38,440
organization I'm a part of, any
of it was all like, just remove

908
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:42,760
yourself.
All this stuff that puts you and

909
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:44,680
gets you involved with all these
different people.

910
00:55:44,680 --> 00:55:48,680
Just you don't need any of that.
Just remove yourself from the

911
00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:51,840
mall.
I was like, do I actually even

912
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:54,720
want that?
No, no, I don't want that.

913
00:55:54,720 --> 00:56:00,040
I didn't, but I, I realized kind
of afterward, after having that

914
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,400
like mental conversation, I was
like, yeah, that doesn't make

915
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:04,280
sense.
That wasn't for me because I I'm

916
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:05,600
not even the one who feels that
way.

917
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:11,840
I think it was just a ploy, you
know, a ploy, the adversary to

918
00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:15,240
get me to check out of the
things that matter to me.

919
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:21,720
And, you know, I know that like
my podcast, I really enjoy it

920
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:26,440
and I want to do more of it, not
less, you know, and that was one

921
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,280
of the things he's like, oh, you
should just hang up, hang up

922
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:30,720
your hat.
You know, you should be done.

923
00:56:30,720 --> 00:56:33,840
It was like, no, I've I'm just
getting started.

924
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:37,560
You know, there's so much more I
want to do and so many more

925
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,640
conversations that I'm ready to
have.

926
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:42,680
And I just anyway, yeah, so I
agree with you.

927
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:44,680
I think that's definitely one of
the ploys that he uses.

928
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:49,680
Decide.
I know, I know someone who they

929
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,400
just wanted to go build a a
house in the side of a hill and

930
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:58,480
basically live like a Hobbit out
the rest of their days and and

931
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:02,280
the Lord told him, no, no, you
can't just hide.

932
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:08,560
I have got to work for you to
do. 100% that is my natural man,

933
00:57:08,640 --> 00:57:10,640
right?
My natural man is not the one

934
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:14,040
that's like, well I want to go
out drinking and carousing it's

935
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:18,520
not me these days, right?
My natural man is like, I could

936
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:20,840
just plant my butt right on that
couch.

937
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:23,840
I could just ignore church.
I could eat Doritos and watch

938
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:27,440
football all day, all day,
right?

939
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:30,480
But that's not the times we live
in and that's not the calling

940
00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:33,000
we've been given.
You'll get brief, brief wrist

941
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:38,920
bites of, of, of, you know,
relaxation and that sort of

942
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:39,800
thing.
And those are needed.

943
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,360
I don't want anyone to think
like, I'm not saying that it's

944
00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,000
not needed.
It absolutely is.

945
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:49,760
But don't be too easy on
yourself either.

946
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,880
Understand that there is
something that He expects from

947
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:56,920
us and we have to.
Our part of our job is getting

948
00:57:56,920 --> 00:58:00,680
that communication to figure out
what what it what it means and

949
00:58:00,680 --> 00:58:03,640
what it's there for.
Let me ask you this question.

950
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:06,040
What do you think?
The significance is that the

951
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:15,470
helmet is called salvation.
That was the question I was

952
00:58:15,470 --> 00:58:18,070
seeking an answer for when you
asked me to talk about it

953
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,000
because I'm like helmet of
salvation.

954
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:24,080
What does that even mean?
That doesn't make any sense.

955
00:58:24,760 --> 00:58:29,640
But as I was talking about, like
with the declaring your faith in

956
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:33,080
the Savior, declaring His word
to be true, that you trust Him,

957
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:38,760
you believe his, the things He's
taught you, you are

958
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:43,920
acknowledging the salvation of
the Lord in your life, and it is

959
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:49,200
saving you even from the
darkness of your own mind.

960
00:58:49,200 --> 00:58:54,160
Oh, your own mind.
That's probably an easy way to

961
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:57,080
put it.
I couldn't, I couldn't agree

962
00:58:57,080 --> 00:59:06,200
with you more, Sarah, as as I
was thinking about it, I think

963
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:11,720
in some ways that salvation
part, you remember where the

964
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:16,000
Lord said that that people
would, would have a seal, they'd

965
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:20,720
be sealed up.
This works both good and bad,

966
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:23,240
right?
We know that the Antichrist is

967
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,400
going to either give you a mark
on your hand or a marking on

968
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,840
your forehead.
Likewise, we know about, you

969
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:33,000
know, there's other scriptures,
I believe in revelations, don't

970
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,840
quote me there, that talks about
receiving the mark of the Lord

971
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:40,520
upon your heart and even in your
on your forehead.

972
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:45,080
And I started thinking about
that like, oh, that's

973
00:59:45,080 --> 00:59:47,640
interesting.
Now here's where it gets

974
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:52,720
interesting.
Do we put that helmet on or just

975
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:56,120
the Lord?
I think we do, right?

976
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:58,400
I think this is a conscious
choice, right?

977
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:02,840
The scripture says put on the
whole armor of God, right?

978
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:09,560
He's he's asking us to do it.
Now, certainly we can't atone

979
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,880
for ourselves.
I'm not saying that, but what we

980
01:00:12,880 --> 01:00:16,760
can control.
Is if we want to accept it or

981
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:21,360
not, right?
And so I think a large part of

982
01:00:21,360 --> 01:00:25,560
this helmet of salvation is
understanding you need to put

983
01:00:25,560 --> 01:00:29,840
that on.
You need to accept the sacrifice

984
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:35,120
that was wrought in your behalf.
Otherwise, you're going to kick

985
01:00:35,120 --> 01:00:40,960
against the pricks and you will
forever doubt where you're at.

986
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:44,400
Part of the thing that the the
Savior's Atonement was supposed

987
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:47,800
to do to us is bring us a sense
of peace, no matter where we

988
01:00:47,800 --> 01:00:51,600
were at, whether we were the
offending party or the offended

989
01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:55,480
party.
An opportunity for healing and

990
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:58,280
for renewal and for moving past
that.

991
01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:02,360
But you can't do that.
You can't cast your hopes on the

992
01:01:02,360 --> 01:01:08,680
Atonement if you don't have the
faith necessary to understand,

993
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:10,960
to let it work in your behalf.
Does that make sense?

994
01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:14,760
Yeah, it does.
And you know that's I was just

995
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:17,640
going to read in First
Thessalonians 5/8 that it

996
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:19,880
totally says what you basically
just said.

997
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:24,400
But let us who are of or who are
of the day be sober, putting on

998
01:01:24,400 --> 01:01:28,880
the breastplate of of faith and
love, and for a helmet the hope

999
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:31,840
of salvation.
For God hath not appointed us to

1000
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:35,320
wrath, but to obtain salvation
by our Lord Jesus Christ.

1001
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:43,320
And I mean, that's basically
what we just said, you know,

1002
01:01:43,320 --> 01:01:46,520
like you have to.
It is through Jesus Christ that

1003
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:50,960
we have our hope of salvation.
And we have to acknowledge that

1004
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:54,960
and, and put it on ourselves.
And that's where the declaration

1005
01:01:54,960 --> 01:02:00,440
of faith in him and in his word
and in his position as Savior,

1006
01:02:00,440 --> 01:02:05,280
Redeemer, chain breaker, you
know, whatever this, the words

1007
01:02:05,280 --> 01:02:08,880
the Spirit puts on your heart or
would that mean the most to you,

1008
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:12,600
you know, in your life at the
time, declare those things

1009
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:14,840
because they are powerful and
they are that helmet.

1010
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:16,400
It's like you're creating a
boundary.

1011
01:02:16,880 --> 01:02:20,400
You're declaring what's true and
that who you belong to and and

1012
01:02:20,400 --> 01:02:23,520
that there's a boundary here and
you're the Lords and they're not

1013
01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:25,840
welcome.
You know, the enemy is not

1014
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:28,800
welcome here.
And you're putting that helmet

1015
01:02:28,800 --> 01:02:35,600
on for sure.
It has to be a conscious choice,

1016
01:02:35,800 --> 01:02:41,160
right?
I, I don't think any of us just

1017
01:02:41,160 --> 01:02:45,120
stumble into that helmet.
Maybe there's a few, but I think

1018
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:48,360
by and large, it has to be a
conscious choice, right?

1019
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:54,960
We have to be brought at some
point to a realization that he,

1020
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,600
he was real.
He did exactly what he said he

1021
01:02:57,600 --> 01:03:01,520
would do.
And then we have to get to a

1022
01:03:01,520 --> 01:03:04,080
point to where we're willing to
accept that.

1023
01:03:06,760 --> 01:03:15,800
I share a story real quick.
When, when when I first became a

1024
01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:21,840
Mormon, I had never convinced,
confessed to an ecclesiastical

1025
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:28,160
leader ever, right.
And the missionary set up my

1026
01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:31,280
meeting with the Bishop, and
they're like, OK, so you're

1027
01:03:31,560 --> 01:03:32,800
going to go in there.
You're going to have this

1028
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:35,600
interview, and then you can talk
to him about anything you want,

1029
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:38,080
right?
It's like, OK.

1030
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:41,480
And so I figured they were
saying, hey, you need to go

1031
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:46,200
confess your sins.
And it was something that was

1032
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:51,000
very forward on my mind.
That's why my mind went there,

1033
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:55,520
because there was a part of me
that said if they know what I

1034
01:03:55,520 --> 01:04:02,840
really was, what I really AM, or
maybe what I've done, they'll

1035
01:04:02,840 --> 01:04:06,120
reconsider.
And there was a part of me it

1036
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:09,320
was like, just shut up, right?
Like just shut up.

1037
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:11,960
But obviously that's not my
thing.

1038
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:17,960
And so I I went in there and we
have our little interview and

1039
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:19,440
the Bishop goes, yeah, I think
you're good.

1040
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:24,160
And I'm like, Are you sure Got
this really worried look on his

1041
01:04:24,160 --> 01:04:26,440
face.
And he goes, well, why wouldn't

1042
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:29,440
you be?
And so I proceeded to spill my

1043
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:32,800
guts from about the age of 13 to
where I was at that time.

1044
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:37,880
And I got to about halfway
through, like, 45 minutes worth.

1045
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:42,720
And he's like, for those not
watching the video, I apologize,

1046
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:44,040
but he's got his head in his
hands.

1047
01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:46,920
And he's just kind of doing this
number, shaking his head.

1048
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:49,920
And I'm like, yeah, see, I told
you, right.

1049
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:53,960
And finally, he goes, I love
you, but I got a family.

1050
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:57,200
Are you sorry for all this?
And I'm like, well, yeah.

1051
01:04:57,200 --> 01:05:00,040
He's like, have you asked for
forgiveness?

1052
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:02,320
I'm like, yeah.
And he's like, you still want to

1053
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:04,200
be baptized?
Absolutely.

1054
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,600
We're good.
I'm going to go see my kids.

1055
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:08,240
Right.
And that was it.

1056
01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:15,680
But walking out of there, I felt
like a whole load was lifted off

1057
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:19,680
my shoulders.
Now, I'm not telling the story

1058
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:25,880
because I'm trying to espouse
the greatness of ecclesiastical

1059
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,920
confession, although I think
confessions a great thing.

1060
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:32,160
I think you can confess to your
friends, those who root for you,

1061
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:34,240
they can help you become a
better person.

1062
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:37,840
And if that works with a Bishop
or something like that and it's

1063
01:05:37,840 --> 01:05:41,520
on your heart, great.
But what I think it is, is, is

1064
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:46,080
this understanding of, oh, wait,
he, he can take that.

1065
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:50,400
He can take all my junk.
He can take all of it.

1066
01:05:51,040 --> 01:05:54,280
He's he's already done it.
I just have to be willing to

1067
01:05:54,280 --> 01:05:58,040
accept the gift.
And so now the question becomes,

1068
01:05:58,120 --> 01:06:01,360
and this is where I throw at you
here for just a second, what

1069
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:04,840
prevents us from doing that?
Why don't we get to that point

1070
01:06:04,840 --> 01:06:07,680
quicker?
Because I've seen people who I

1071
01:06:07,680 --> 01:06:12,360
consider spiritual giants
absolutely get cut down on this,

1072
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,200
right?
They'll screw up and they'll say

1073
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:17,280
I've messed up.
There's no coming back.

1074
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:23,960
I'm off and running, right?
So how do we get to that point,

1075
01:06:24,080 --> 01:06:26,760
or what prevents us from getting
to that point?

1076
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:35,080
And then how do we fix it?
Well, that's a that's a big

1077
01:06:35,080 --> 01:06:37,920
question For one, I just want to
say that that's a big question

1078
01:06:38,440 --> 01:06:41,680
because it is.
And I know a lot of people feel

1079
01:06:41,680 --> 01:06:45,600
that way.
I think from for me, growing up

1080
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:52,440
in the LDS church, I thought I
was a bad person because I like

1081
01:06:52,440 --> 01:06:53,920
I did, I tried to do everything
right.

1082
01:06:53,920 --> 01:06:57,520
I was such a perfectionist.
And if and if there if I ever

1083
01:06:57,520 --> 01:07:00,760
did anything I didn't think was
right or perfect, that meant I

1084
01:07:00,760 --> 01:07:07,120
was a bad person.
And so we we can sometimes

1085
01:07:07,120 --> 01:07:14,760
accidentally adopt this idea
that we have to earn our

1086
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:23,160
salvation.
And where we do this

1087
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:28,480
accidentally, I don't think
people realize that they're

1088
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:30,640
putting themselves in the place
of Christ.

1089
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:34,760
Because if you think you can
earn your salvation, then you

1090
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:38,240
don't, you're not accepting his
salvation for you.

1091
01:07:39,200 --> 01:07:42,600
Does that make sense?
And I think our culture, like

1092
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:45,800
within the LDS church, the
culture there and there could be

1093
01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:48,360
lots of churches like this.
I, I mean, I'm not, I'm not

1094
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:49,680
attacking them.
It's just the one I'm.

1095
01:07:49,680 --> 01:07:50,920
Familiar.
You're speaking from your

1096
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:52,880
tradition.
Yeah, it's what I'm familiar

1097
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:53,600
with.
I'm not.

1098
01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:56,240
I'm not attacking this because I
know many churches function

1099
01:07:56,240 --> 01:08:07,080
similarly, but where you have
this repentance plan, you know,

1100
01:08:07,080 --> 01:08:10,720
I where if you, if you've done
certain things, they, you know,

1101
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:12,440
they have a repentance plan for
you.

1102
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,560
Or you, can you, you read the
Book of Mormon or maybe you

1103
01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,960
might read the miracle
forgiveness or they have a list

1104
01:08:17,960 --> 01:08:20,439
of scriptures you got to read.
And and then there's a certain

1105
01:08:20,439 --> 01:08:24,240
amount of time that has to pass
before you're forgiven.

1106
01:08:25,960 --> 01:08:29,399
And because they function this
way, we think that's the way the

1107
01:08:29,399 --> 01:08:33,040
Lord functions.
That's not the way the Lord

1108
01:08:33,040 --> 01:08:42,720
functions.
And so I think if I can be so

1109
01:08:42,720 --> 01:08:47,880
bold to say that the greatest
way out of that is to get to

1110
01:08:47,880 --> 01:08:52,000
know the Lord personally,
because He is not that way.

1111
01:08:52,640 --> 01:08:55,720
And one of the first things He
really taught me was who He

1112
01:08:55,720 --> 01:09:04,319
actually is, because the world
says He's many things and we

1113
01:09:04,319 --> 01:09:08,800
don't always get it right.
When you get to know him and see

1114
01:09:08,800 --> 01:09:13,520
who he actually is, that's one
of the major misconceptions that

1115
01:09:13,520 --> 01:09:17,840
he had to root out of.
My heart was feeling like I had

1116
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:21,399
to earn it in that way.
Like I had to be enough.

1117
01:09:21,399 --> 01:09:29,520
I had to keep working harder.
Salvation is His to give, not

1118
01:09:29,520 --> 01:09:33,920
ours to earn in that way, you
know, like we open our hearts to

1119
01:09:33,920 --> 01:09:37,560
His salvation.
He gave it so that we could

1120
01:09:37,560 --> 01:09:40,760
function in our life and have a
hope of salvation.

1121
01:09:40,760 --> 01:09:42,560
And that's what the helmet of
salvation is.

1122
01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:47,160
That's what that were said.
And for a helmet, the hope of

1123
01:09:47,160 --> 01:09:54,480
salvation, I think it comes with
a lot of peace because I know

1124
01:09:54,480 --> 01:09:59,760
that I know now after I've had
four years to integrate this

1125
01:09:59,760 --> 01:10:04,320
into my heart and my
understanding of the Savior as I

1126
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:10,320
know now that when I make a
decision, I, I looked a decision

1127
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:13,440
as as very black and white
before knowing the Lord

1128
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:17,000
personally, because I felt like
every decision had a right and a

1129
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:19,960
wrong.
And I was so afraid to make the

1130
01:10:19,960 --> 01:10:22,120
wrong decision.
So afraid.

1131
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:26,720
Now I don't really look at
decisions as just blanket right

1132
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,680
or wrong anymore.
I look at them as a learning

1133
01:10:29,680 --> 01:10:32,240
opportunity that you could take
different paths to get.

1134
01:10:33,960 --> 01:10:37,800
Does that make sense?
Either path is a learning

1135
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:41,040
opportunity and we get to choose
which path we'll take.

1136
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:44,560
And the Lord's there to walk
with us and help us and catch us

1137
01:10:44,560 --> 01:10:49,080
when we fall.
And I, I do think it's important

1138
01:10:49,080 --> 01:10:54,320
to keep a, a communication
pathway open so we're not

1139
01:10:54,320 --> 01:10:56,400
tripping on her face as bad as
we could.

1140
01:10:57,720 --> 01:11:02,760
But I trust Him to catch me now,
and I'm not afraid of every

1141
01:11:02,760 --> 01:11:07,160
decision anymore because I
recognize, I understand that

1142
01:11:07,160 --> 01:11:12,480
it's the Lord that offers
salvation on your percent, the

1143
01:11:12,480 --> 01:11:16,800
things that I've done. 100%
there's a lot there to unpack

1144
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:18,520
that I want to take a few
minutes for here.

1145
01:11:20,440 --> 01:11:24,720
The first thing I'll say is to
what you had just said about

1146
01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:28,600
just making a decision, right?
Just make the decision.

1147
01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:33,360
Just go.
If there's one thing in my own

1148
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:37,240
life that has become apparent as
I've, as I've had dealings with

1149
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:39,840
the Lord here and, and learning
to hear his voice and learning

1150
01:11:39,840 --> 01:11:45,000
what to do when he asks, it's
that so often he just wants us

1151
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:50,680
to do something first.
Right, Enough with making plans,

1152
01:11:50,760 --> 01:11:53,600
right?
Make a plan, consult him on it

1153
01:11:53,640 --> 01:12:00,000
and go.
I remember there was a guy that

1154
01:12:00,000 --> 01:12:07,960
I had trained as a surveyor,
smart kid, but timid, a little

1155
01:12:07,960 --> 01:12:12,200
too timid, right?
And I remember once he came back

1156
01:12:12,200 --> 01:12:15,760
from being out in the field and
I made it a rule, and I still

1157
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:18,240
use this.
I don't leave the office till my

1158
01:12:18,240 --> 01:12:20,120
crews are back in the office,
right?

1159
01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:24,120
Just if they're out, I'm there
for their support, to make sure

1160
01:12:24,120 --> 01:12:27,560
they have everything they need.
So I don't leave until my crews

1161
01:12:27,560 --> 01:12:33,520
get back in the office.
And like this was, it was

1162
01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:38,560
supposed to be like 6 hour job.
And on hour 12 I called him, I'm

1163
01:12:38,560 --> 01:12:40,800
like, bro, you OK out there?
And he's like, yeah, I'm, I'm

1164
01:12:40,800 --> 01:12:42,760
fine.
I'm like, well, what's going on?

1165
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:45,040
And he's like, I don't know what
to do.

1166
01:12:46,520 --> 01:12:49,960
And I said, oh, I was like,
we'll come back in the office

1167
01:12:49,960 --> 01:12:54,520
and let's talk about it, right?
And the other thing I figure is

1168
01:12:54,520 --> 01:12:57,160
if my crews performed badly,
it's because I haven't been a

1169
01:12:57,160 --> 01:12:59,480
good leader.
I haven't, I have not

1170
01:12:59,480 --> 01:13:03,040
illuminated well enough what
the, what the goals are supposed

1171
01:13:03,040 --> 01:13:04,960
to be.
So I own that right.

1172
01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:09,040
So I called him in and he came
in and I said, OK, what's going

1173
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:12,960
on?
And he had to make a decision,

1174
01:13:12,960 --> 01:13:14,840
right?
Which, which point is he going

1175
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:17,840
to hold?
He found he without getting too

1176
01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:22,160
technical, he found a, a corner
that was that had double

1177
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:25,280
monumentation, meaning there
were two corners to shoot, but

1178
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:28,880
depending on which one he held,
it could throw him out of whack

1179
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,520
by 5 or 6 feet.
And there was no easy way to

1180
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:34,160
tell.
Now truth be known, I could have

1181
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:37,240
saw if he'd have done something,
I could have saw it on the data

1182
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:40,760
and I could have adjusted things
in the office and it would have

1183
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,320
been a big deal.
But he didn't know that.

1184
01:13:43,560 --> 01:13:46,320
And I said, so what'd you do?
And he goes, I didn't do

1185
01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:47,840
anything.
I just sat there and tried to

1186
01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,720
weigh out my options and think
through it.

1187
01:13:50,800 --> 01:13:55,320
And I was like, I appreciate you
not wanting to screw up.

1188
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:59,800
I really do.
I think that's that's wise.

1189
01:14:01,360 --> 01:14:03,280
But I'm going to tell you
something here, and I really

1190
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:08,920
mean this.
Do something, even if it's

1191
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:12,600
wrong, you later discover it's
wrong.

1192
01:14:12,960 --> 01:14:16,400
Do something.
Because if you do something and,

1193
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:20,000
and if it's right, well, then
we're slapping high fives and

1194
01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:23,320
you've learned.
And if it's wrong, we're going

1195
01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:25,200
to work it out together and
we're going to fix it.

1196
01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:29,560
And you will have learned.
But I can't help you if you

1197
01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:34,240
don't do something.
And you have to learn by your.

1198
01:14:35,720 --> 01:14:38,200
One time the Lord told me I
cannot direct feet that aren't

1199
01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:41,120
moving.
Exactly, right.

1200
01:14:41,400 --> 01:14:45,320
You've just do something and
then the Lord's more.

1201
01:14:45,320 --> 01:14:48,920
Look, the Lord is gracious, He
is generous if you are not

1202
01:14:48,920 --> 01:14:52,240
intentionally trying to screw
up, right?

1203
01:14:52,280 --> 01:14:55,200
And look, I do believe that
there probably are some sins

1204
01:14:55,200 --> 01:15:00,680
where you intentionally screw
up, but by and large, if you're

1205
01:15:00,680 --> 01:15:03,680
not trying to screw up, the Lord
is very gracious and is always

1206
01:15:03,680 --> 01:15:06,280
willing to have your repentance
and get you spun around in the

1207
01:15:06,280 --> 01:15:09,760
right direction.
But I do think He wants you to

1208
01:15:09,760 --> 01:15:12,720
do something, even if it's
wrong, and you can correct it

1209
01:15:12,720 --> 01:15:16,960
later if you don't do anything.
If you have what I

1210
01:15:16,960 --> 01:15:21,040
affectionately refer to as
decision Constipation, you are

1211
01:15:21,040 --> 01:15:25,040
never going to make the moves
you need to make to get to where

1212
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:27,720
you need to be.
And you learn something,

1213
01:15:27,720 --> 01:15:29,320
regardless whether it's right or
wrong.

1214
01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:33,240
You know when I was.
Sorry, sorry, finished.

1215
01:15:33,240 --> 01:15:34,240
No, go ahead.
You were done.

1216
01:15:34,440 --> 01:15:35,400
I thought you were done.
I apologize.

1217
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:36,920
I'm good, I'm good.
Go ahead.

1218
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:39,840
I belabored that point long
enough.

1219
01:15:42,440 --> 01:15:46,320
I was just going to add that
when I was younger, I would

1220
01:15:46,320 --> 01:15:50,520
study things out and I would get
the options of the path and I

1221
01:15:50,520 --> 01:15:53,720
would pray about which direction
to go in without making an

1222
01:15:53,720 --> 01:15:56,840
opinion about the the best path.
Does that make sense?

1223
01:15:56,840 --> 01:16:00,760
Like I would study in and out
and I, I would forego making an

1224
01:16:00,760 --> 01:16:05,080
opinion or making a decision to
then pray about it and let the

1225
01:16:05,080 --> 01:16:09,440
Lord make the decision.
And he's told me I was a very

1226
01:16:09,440 --> 01:16:14,400
obedient servant, but I needed
to grow up a little, right?

1227
01:16:15,040 --> 01:16:17,520
Cut the apron strings because
eventually we have to cut the

1228
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:20,080
apron strings and we can't just
listen to everything our mom or

1229
01:16:20,080 --> 01:16:22,200
dad tells us and we have to
stand on our own 2 feet.

1230
01:16:22,640 --> 01:16:26,200
And he's like, you were a very
obedient child, but now I need

1231
01:16:26,200 --> 01:16:28,400
you to learn how to have an
opinion.

1232
01:16:30,080 --> 01:16:34,720
And so and that sounds silly,
but like truly.

1233
01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:39,360
Oh, it's the truth.
I realized I didn't have my own

1234
01:16:39,360 --> 01:16:42,000
opinions about some things
because I was just like, well,

1235
01:16:42,000 --> 01:16:43,680
I'll just pray about it.
The Lord will tell me which,

1236
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:45,880
what's the best path?
I've already studied it out,

1237
01:16:46,160 --> 01:16:48,920
already priced everything out.
I already, you know, drew up the

1238
01:16:48,920 --> 01:16:51,040
plans or drew up five different
plans.

1239
01:16:51,040 --> 01:16:53,240
And then I took it to the Lord
like, which is the best one for

1240
01:16:53,240 --> 01:16:55,040
my family, which will work the
best?

1241
01:16:55,040 --> 01:17:00,360
You know, I did that kind of
thing without just having an

1242
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:03,960
opinion of my own.
And so he started doing

1243
01:17:03,960 --> 01:17:07,640
exercises with me over the last
couple years that forced me to

1244
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:09,840
have an opinion.
And you would, sometimes I'd

1245
01:17:09,840 --> 01:17:13,480
pray about something and you'd
go, Sarah, I'm not going to

1246
01:17:13,480 --> 01:17:15,680
answer that.
What do you think?

1247
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:17,760
Like, what would you like to see
happen?

1248
01:17:19,000 --> 01:17:24,760
What do you think you should do?
You know, And it was, it's kind

1249
01:17:24,760 --> 01:17:27,320
of funny.
I don't know, I, I feel silly

1250
01:17:27,320 --> 01:17:31,280
when I talk about it, but truly,
sometimes those are the lessons

1251
01:17:31,280 --> 01:17:33,720
that we need.
And those are because everyone

1252
01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:37,240
is so different.
And so that's the path that I've

1253
01:17:37,240 --> 01:17:40,360
walked with him where he's like
Sarah, you know, I, I can

1254
01:17:40,360 --> 01:17:44,240
recognize that I grew up with a
family and I didn't make the

1255
01:17:44,240 --> 01:17:46,720
decisions.
I was the fifth child, not like

1256
01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:49,520
the children make the decisions
anyway, but I grew up and I had

1257
01:17:49,520 --> 01:17:52,440
parents and then I went to
college and I was only out of

1258
01:17:52,440 --> 01:17:58,480
the home for like half a, for
one semester before I met my

1259
01:17:58,840 --> 01:18:03,400
then husband who would become my
husband, you know, so I lived

1260
01:18:03,400 --> 01:18:07,960
alone for less than a year
before I got married and I had

1261
01:18:07,960 --> 01:18:10,880
roommates.
So it wasn't ever like really

1262
01:18:10,880 --> 01:18:14,240
standing on my own 2 feet.
I didn't have a job, I wasn't

1263
01:18:14,240 --> 01:18:17,120
providing for myself.
And then I got married, you

1264
01:18:17,120 --> 01:18:20,720
know, like I had a scholarship
that was paying for stuff when I

1265
01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:23,440
went to school.
I guess my point is is like I

1266
01:18:23,480 --> 01:18:29,120
can recognize that my life did
not lend towards making

1267
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:31,800
decisions readily.
Like I always had someone to

1268
01:18:31,800 --> 01:18:35,760
kind of lean on to help make the
decisions that I needed to make,

1269
01:18:36,200 --> 01:18:38,960
whether that was my parents or
then my spouse.

1270
01:18:39,800 --> 01:18:43,960
And so as going through my
divorce like that's he's like

1271
01:18:43,960 --> 01:18:49,040
Sarah, you keep I kind of had
this diagram in my head where

1272
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:52,880
he's like I had to you used to
study it out and then forgo

1273
01:18:52,880 --> 01:18:56,520
making the decision to just jump
into praying about it and then

1274
01:18:56,520 --> 01:19:00,800
move acting on what I told you.
And he's like, I, I learned you

1275
01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:06,000
to stop bypassing your own
decision making in that because

1276
01:19:06,280 --> 01:19:09,320
he's because like I said, he
told me once, like, I can't, I

1277
01:19:09,320 --> 01:19:10,920
can't direct feet that aren't
moving.

1278
01:19:11,480 --> 01:19:15,760
And that even this last year I
had a decision I kept praying

1279
01:19:15,760 --> 01:19:18,000
about over and over and over
again.

1280
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,240
And the Lord just wasn't giving
me an answer.

1281
01:19:20,240 --> 01:19:22,800
And finally about after about a
year, I was like, you know, I'm

1282
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:25,200
tired of waiting.
If you're not going to answer

1283
01:19:25,200 --> 01:19:27,120
me, this is what I want to do
and I'm going to do it.

1284
01:19:28,080 --> 01:19:31,120
And as soon as I made that
decision and made the phone

1285
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:33,800
call, he's like, Sarah, you
finally did it.

1286
01:19:34,480 --> 01:19:38,000
You finally did it.
That was the point of like, I

1287
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,760
was laughing about it.
Within within hours, I was

1288
01:19:40,760 --> 01:19:44,320
laughing about it.
I'm like, it took me a year to

1289
01:19:44,320 --> 01:19:46,520
be like, OK, I'm tired of
waiting.

1290
01:19:46,560 --> 01:19:48,000
Lord, I'm going to make a
decision.

1291
01:19:50,520 --> 01:19:53,240
And that was the point of the
exercise, you know?

1292
01:19:54,080 --> 01:19:59,280
And so I think that people get
so afraid to make decisions

1293
01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:03,160
because they think like, they're
going to go to hell over it, you

1294
01:20:03,160 --> 01:20:07,960
know?
And the atonement and salvation

1295
01:20:08,720 --> 01:20:11,680
is not an axe.
He's hanging over our necks.

1296
01:20:12,640 --> 01:20:14,040
That's not.
That's not what it is.

1297
01:20:15,200 --> 01:20:18,880
Let me say it again.
The atonement and salvation is

1298
01:20:18,880 --> 01:20:22,680
not an axe that he is waiting to
drop on you.

1299
01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:27,760
It's not.
It's the net that's meant to

1300
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:31,840
catch you.
It's the hug when you fall to

1301
01:20:31,840 --> 01:20:35,640
your knees crying.
It's, it's the, the net to catch

1302
01:20:35,640 --> 01:20:37,000
you.
It's, it's, it's the good

1303
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:40,560
things, you know?
And I think I spent so long

1304
01:20:40,560 --> 01:20:43,040
feeling like it was the
judgement waiting to fall

1305
01:20:43,160 --> 01:20:47,400
instead of, instead of the catch
that I needed when I did.

1306
01:20:48,280 --> 01:20:52,560
And so I think that there's just
a shift because one of the

1307
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:55,400
things that he's taught me is
that he wants people to know

1308
01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:58,240
him, not what people have said
of him.

1309
01:20:59,240 --> 01:21:07,480
And I think that the, if we can
really look at the way we view

1310
01:21:07,480 --> 01:21:12,120
the atonement, the way we're
acting into the atonement in our

1311
01:21:12,120 --> 01:21:15,800
lives, like we can see where we,
there's lies that we believe

1312
01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:20,440
about who God is and what the
atonement is that we can be free

1313
01:21:20,440 --> 01:21:22,400
of.
So that we can have a real

1314
01:21:22,400 --> 01:21:26,840
relationship with the Lord and
and walk in faith and have that

1315
01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:33,040
hope for salvation that will
free us, that will free us for

1316
01:21:33,040 --> 01:21:36,040
joy and peace.
You know, you said earlier that

1317
01:21:36,040 --> 01:21:39,520
it sounded silly and I'm like,
it actually doesn't because I do

1318
01:21:39,520 --> 01:21:41,840
believe that there are some
scriptures that actually speak

1319
01:21:41,840 --> 01:21:46,400
to this idea of just moving,
doing something. 1 of it is that

1320
01:21:46,400 --> 01:21:48,520
scripture out of the Doctrine
and Covenants where the Lord

1321
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:51,560
says it's a, it's a lazy and
thoughtful servant that has to

1322
01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:54,480
be commanded in all things,
right?

1323
01:21:55,520 --> 01:21:56,960
He's clear.
Do something.

1324
01:21:57,280 --> 01:22:00,160
Don't, don't wait for me to sit
here and tell you what to do all

1325
01:22:00,160 --> 01:22:03,440
the time.
If, if we are God's an embryo,

1326
01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:06,480
at some point we have to start
practicing decision making.

1327
01:22:08,200 --> 01:22:09,040
Yeah.
Exactly.

1328
01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:11,080
Exactly.
And.

1329
01:22:11,600 --> 01:22:18,360
We are his children, but he is
seeking to assist us in our rise

1330
01:22:18,360 --> 01:22:22,160
to his stature.
So eventually, like you said,

1331
01:22:22,160 --> 01:22:25,560
like we have to be able to learn
how to make good decisions.

1332
01:22:25,560 --> 01:22:27,800
What did Joseph say?
Teach them correct principles

1333
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:31,160
and they'll govern themselves.
It's not that we won't ever need

1334
01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:35,320
God or won't ever need them.
It's that we learn to be

1335
01:22:35,320 --> 01:22:39,800
sovereign individuals acting in
righteousness.

1336
01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:43,280
And you know, you talked about
Genesis.

1337
01:22:44,600 --> 01:22:46,760
I feel like we're kind of going
off the rail here a little bit,

1338
01:22:46,760 --> 01:22:48,040
but we're.
Good.

1339
01:22:48,400 --> 01:22:51,680
So when in Genesis, where it
says in the beginning was the

1340
01:22:51,680 --> 01:22:59,640
Word and the Word was God, our
words speak power, their power

1341
01:22:59,720 --> 01:23:03,440
that is coming out of our mouth
to either curse us to direct our

1342
01:23:03,440 --> 01:23:07,480
paths.
It it it's creation in action,

1343
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:13,920
even just speaking things and
and we can we speak things into

1344
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:16,560
existence, whether intentionally
or not.

1345
01:23:17,760 --> 01:23:23,480
And, and I think that he teaches
us that in that creation story.

1346
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:26,800
Sure.
Because why would they?

1347
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:28,120
Why would they put that in
there?

1348
01:23:29,200 --> 01:23:32,120
Why include that all?
Right.

1349
01:23:32,840 --> 01:23:36,560
Our words are powerful and I
think that's, you know, it's

1350
01:23:36,560 --> 01:23:39,200
kind of funny because, you know,
remember when the gift, the

1351
01:23:39,200 --> 01:23:42,440
book, the gift came out and by
like Shad Palmstetter or

1352
01:23:42,440 --> 01:23:46,760
something and it was about how
we went can speak things into

1353
01:23:46,760 --> 01:23:50,720
existence.
Well, it was funny because it

1354
01:23:50,720 --> 01:23:53,480
was very, it was very hip for a
little while, for a couple years

1355
01:23:53,760 --> 01:24:01,440
when I was a teenager.
And all that taught me was it

1356
01:24:01,440 --> 01:24:04,480
actually when I prayed about it
with the Lord, he sent me to

1357
01:24:04,520 --> 01:24:09,400
Genesis and was like, words are
powerful, Sarah.

1358
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:14,560
It is through words and the
priesthood, because to me, like

1359
01:24:14,560 --> 01:24:16,520
the Lord taught me, the
priesthood was the power of

1360
01:24:16,520 --> 01:24:20,840
creation.
So if we're speaking things into

1361
01:24:20,840 --> 01:24:24,120
creative existence through our
words, that's what we see in

1362
01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:26,880
Genesis.
I mean, I don't understand how

1363
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:30,800
it all works, but if we're in
God's an embryo and as I've

1364
01:24:30,800 --> 01:24:37,800
studied more about the second
coming and, and a lot of other

1365
01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:42,280
things, when I'm thinking about,
OK, if we live in a place, in a

1366
01:24:42,280 --> 01:24:45,520
Zion place or in this city of
peace, depends on, you know,

1367
01:24:45,960 --> 01:24:47,400
where it's referenced in the
Scriptures.

1368
01:24:47,400 --> 01:24:49,800
If we're going to live in the
city of peace, I've heard it

1369
01:24:49,800 --> 01:24:55,800
referenced as maybe a
terrestrial sphere or a

1370
01:24:55,800 --> 01:25:00,480
celestial city instead of this
telestial world we live in

1371
01:25:00,480 --> 01:25:03,680
currently.
If we hope to achieve something

1372
01:25:03,680 --> 01:25:12,640
greater, then therefore it makes
sense to me that our actions and

1373
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:19,480
our words would more reflect the
sphere in which we know then

1374
01:25:19,720 --> 01:25:24,480
what we will then currently live
in, which will reflect the power

1375
01:25:24,480 --> 01:25:27,840
of our of God who is our Father.
Does that make sense?

1376
01:25:28,280 --> 01:25:29,120
Sorry.
Oh, it makes.

1377
01:25:30,240 --> 01:25:33,520
I didn't know how to it.
Does no, it, it, it connects up,

1378
01:25:33,520 --> 01:25:35,880
right?
And because I do think it comes

1379
01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:39,040
back to having that helmet on,
right?

1380
01:25:39,040 --> 01:25:43,400
And and again, it's on the head.
It's it's a it's meant to be a,

1381
01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:47,840
a cognizant knowing, not just a
feeling, right?

1382
01:25:48,040 --> 01:25:51,080
It's it's just knowing of what's
happening.

1383
01:25:51,760 --> 01:25:55,120
The other place we see this is
in the story of the brother of

1384
01:25:55,120 --> 01:25:59,240
Jared, right?
Lord, have these boats are going

1385
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:01,680
to be dark and the Lord's like,
what do you want me to do, bro?

1386
01:26:02,360 --> 01:26:04,880
Right.
Like, honestly, there's a part

1387
01:26:04,880 --> 01:26:08,880
of me that thinks if so, I was
really looking at that story,

1388
01:26:08,880 --> 01:26:11,080
right?
The Lord wants wants the brother

1389
01:26:11,080 --> 01:26:13,920
of Jared to go out there and
come up with a plan and come

1390
01:26:13,920 --> 01:26:19,360
back and talk to him about it.
Truth be told, Sarah, I think

1391
01:26:19,360 --> 01:26:21,600
that the brother of Jared
probably could have looked at a

1392
01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:24,560
Bush and went, you know,
remember there was this Bush

1393
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:27,640
back, you know, or I guess he
wouldn't have remembered it

1394
01:26:27,640 --> 01:26:29,600
because it had, it wouldn't have
happened yet.

1395
01:26:30,000 --> 01:26:32,600
But he could have said, well,
how about you just, you know,

1396
01:26:32,880 --> 01:26:35,600
set this Bush on fire, but don't
let the fire consume it.

1397
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:39,040
And the Lord probably would have
went OK, right.

1398
01:26:39,040 --> 01:26:42,200
Like at this point, you know, I,
I really do think he's just

1399
01:26:42,200 --> 01:26:44,760
trying to get Jared to think on
his own, the brother Jared to

1400
01:26:44,760 --> 01:26:49,560
think on his own and the the
Lord's going to show him that.

1401
01:26:49,600 --> 01:26:51,680
OK, you counsel with me and we
work together.

1402
01:26:51,680 --> 01:26:54,080
I can do this, right?
We can do this, but you got to

1403
01:26:54,080 --> 01:26:57,000
do something right?
Like you can't just be like we

1404
01:26:57,000 --> 01:27:01,760
will do next he and sometimes we
get to that point and that's OK,

1405
01:27:02,200 --> 01:27:06,600
right, That you should ask then,
but try to figure it out first.

1406
01:27:06,840 --> 01:27:09,680
Come to the Lord with a plan,
right?

1407
01:27:09,920 --> 01:27:11,720
Say this is what I'm thinking,
right?

1408
01:27:11,720 --> 01:27:12,680
What?
What do you think?

1409
01:27:12,680 --> 01:27:15,920
Help me counsel with me here.
This is what I'm thinking.

1410
01:27:16,360 --> 01:27:19,240
Is this flawed somewhere?
Is this something I need to look

1411
01:27:19,240 --> 01:27:21,360
at or where?
What am I missing here?

1412
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:23,880
That's fine, but come with
something.

1413
01:27:24,040 --> 01:27:27,720
Come, come.
I'm having put in some work, I

1414
01:27:27,720 --> 01:27:30,480
guess few years back.
I started to get the feeling

1415
01:27:30,480 --> 01:27:33,680
that we, as fundamentalists and
orthodox Mormons, we need our

1416
01:27:33,680 --> 01:27:35,760
own stuff.
Up to now, we've been able to

1417
01:27:35,760 --> 01:27:39,160
buy and purchase all of our
scriptures, books, art, and

1418
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:42,760
music from other restoration
organizations, and that's been

1419
01:27:42,760 --> 01:27:44,600
good.
But there's no guarantee it's

1420
01:27:44,600 --> 01:27:48,040
going to remain that way.
Also, it can be a bit tricky as

1421
01:27:48,040 --> 01:27:51,440
you scour the Internet trying to
find all the books from your

1422
01:27:51,440 --> 01:27:54,640
favorite fundamentalist or
orthodox Mormon authors.

1423
01:27:55,080 --> 01:27:57,480
As I thought about this, I feel
like I was really given a

1424
01:27:57,480 --> 01:28:00,400
solution now through the hard
work of others, because let's

1425
01:28:00,400 --> 01:28:03,640
face it, I'm the guy least
qualified in all the world to

1426
01:28:03,640 --> 01:28:06,920
build a website.
I'm happy to present to you 1830

1427
01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:10,440
mercantile.org.
Right now on the website you can

1428
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:13,280
see that we have all the books
that have ever been written by 4

1429
01:28:13,280 --> 01:28:16,280
authors, including names like
Drew, Briny and Ogdenkraut.

1430
01:28:16,680 --> 01:28:21,400
Also very soon there will be a
link to buy art and music all

1431
01:28:21,400 --> 01:28:24,720
produced by Mormons with a deep
love for the restored gospel.

1432
01:28:25,000 --> 01:28:28,600
There's also places for you to
get free resources where you can

1433
01:28:28,600 --> 01:28:32,240
find podcasts, videos, classes,
and other presentations.

1434
01:28:32,760 --> 01:28:36,240
Also coming very soon there will
be a place for events where you

1435
01:28:36,240 --> 01:28:40,160
can list the events from your
organization so that you can get

1436
01:28:40,160 --> 01:28:43,880
the most out of that attendance.
Now this can be as big as you

1437
01:28:43,880 --> 01:28:45,880
want it to be.
It's all up to you guys out

1438
01:28:45,880 --> 01:28:48,680
there if you want to buy and
post things on here.

1439
01:28:49,240 --> 01:28:52,040
Now, if you're someone who
produces something that you feel

1440
01:28:52,040 --> 01:28:55,800
like others can benefit from,
1830 Mercantile is a place where

1441
01:28:55,800 --> 01:28:58,920
you can make all of those
products available for purchase.

1442
01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:01,200
All you need to do is drop me an
e-mail at

1443
01:29:01,200 --> 01:29:06,080
mormonrenegade@gmail.com and put
1830 in in the title of that

1444
01:29:06,080 --> 01:29:09,480
e-mail with a short message and
either myself or someone else

1445
01:29:09,480 --> 01:29:12,880
from the 1830 Mercantile team
will reach out to you so we can

1446
01:29:12,880 --> 01:29:14,640
get your product up there on the
site.

1447
01:29:15,160 --> 01:29:20,560
Now to make sure that all the
products that we offer are

1448
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:24,280
affordable and to ensure that
the vast majority of the profits

1449
01:29:24,280 --> 01:29:29,480
go to the producer, the website
percentage is only three to 4%

1450
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,040
of the total cost.
And that's just so I can pay the

1451
01:29:32,040 --> 01:29:35,000
pros that have created this
website and keep the lights on

1452
01:29:35,000 --> 01:29:38,480
the website itself.
Finally, by making some of your

1453
01:29:38,480 --> 01:29:41,840
purchases at 1830
mercantile.org, you'll be

1454
01:29:41,840 --> 01:29:45,120
supporting folks whose
principles and morals are close,

1455
01:29:45,160 --> 01:29:48,600
if not the same as yours.
At the same time not giving your

1456
01:29:48,600 --> 01:29:51,840
money away to people who stand
against everything you stand

1457
01:29:51,840 --> 01:29:53,840
for.
So no matter if you're looking

1458
01:29:53,840 --> 01:29:56,880
to make a purchase or you're a
seller that wants to get your

1459
01:29:56,880 --> 01:30:01,120
products listed, head on over to
1830 mercantile.org today.

1460
01:30:01,600 --> 01:30:04,720
Drop me an e-mail and we'll make
sure that we get back out to

1461
01:30:04,720 --> 01:30:06,320
you.
Now back to the show.

1462
01:30:06,840 --> 01:30:13,200
Yeah, once I've when you know, I
love that story because there's

1463
01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:17,040
three different examples, right?
Like he he gives some of the

1464
01:30:17,040 --> 01:30:21,640
answers freely and quickly.
And but then you know, that last

1465
01:30:21,640 --> 01:30:25,600
one, he's like, no, I want you
to figure this one out and come

1466
01:30:25,600 --> 01:30:31,960
to me with an idea.
And first of all, I just wanted

1467
01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:35,840
to say that I was, as I was
thinking about that lit it.

1468
01:30:35,840 --> 01:30:39,960
It's easier to I find it's
easier to make decisions about

1469
01:30:39,960 --> 01:30:42,360
certain things that I know
someone's got my back.

1470
01:30:43,280 --> 01:30:45,800
And when we're talking about the
helmet of salvation being the

1471
01:30:45,800 --> 01:30:50,760
hope for salvation, like I have
hope that the that there is

1472
01:30:50,760 --> 01:30:55,640
salvation that in the end the
Lord's got my back and not that

1473
01:30:55,640 --> 01:30:57,560
I can do whatever I want.
That's not what I'm saying.

1474
01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:02,640
Gosh, I can't just be evil and
be like, Lord's got my back, but

1475
01:31:02,640 --> 01:31:04,520
I know he's, but he's there for
me.

1476
01:31:04,560 --> 01:31:08,760
And so it actually brings a
little peace to that decision

1477
01:31:08,760 --> 01:31:11,000
making because you know, someone
has your back.

1478
01:31:11,760 --> 01:31:14,760
So first of all, I just wanted
to say that because I do think

1479
01:31:14,760 --> 01:31:17,600
that there is some peace and
some joy and some light that

1480
01:31:17,600 --> 01:31:22,400
brings to the, to the, to the
struggle, you know, when you're

1481
01:31:22,400 --> 01:31:33,440
trying to figure something out.
But also I, I, sometimes I feel

1482
01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:36,840
like in some of these
conversations, if there's

1483
01:31:36,840 --> 01:31:40,160
someone that's struggling with
this, that they're going to hear

1484
01:31:40,160 --> 01:31:44,840
all of this good stuff and go,
Yep, just another bit of proof

1485
01:31:44,840 --> 01:31:48,240
that I'm not good enough.
Does that make sense?

1486
01:31:48,400 --> 01:31:50,360
Because they're not having
experiences where they're

1487
01:31:50,360 --> 01:31:54,160
hearing the voice of the Lord or
they're not having my kids one

1488
01:31:54,160 --> 01:31:56,480
time told me, mom, you always
tell us all these stories about

1489
01:31:56,480 --> 01:31:59,280
how God answered your prayer or
that you saw this vision or

1490
01:31:59,280 --> 01:32:00,600
whatever.
And I just thought I was

1491
01:32:00,600 --> 01:32:03,960
speaking faith into them.
You know, they were like, but I

1492
01:32:03,960 --> 01:32:06,160
never hear any of that.
I guess I just can't hear the

1493
01:32:06,160 --> 01:32:08,120
Lord.
No, no, I wasn't the lesson, you

1494
01:32:08,120 --> 01:32:11,560
know what I mean?
The lesson was not that you're

1495
01:32:11,560 --> 01:32:12,720
not good enough.
You're 5.

1496
01:32:12,880 --> 01:32:16,520
I mean, like I didn't, I didn't
have this experience until

1497
01:32:16,520 --> 01:32:23,320
decades and decades of effort,
you know, And so I do want to

1498
01:32:23,320 --> 01:32:27,680
point out in, and you know, the
part of that story is that the

1499
01:32:27,680 --> 01:32:30,960
Lord gave an answer quickly to
one of the predicaments that he

1500
01:32:30,960 --> 01:32:37,040
was in, one of the questions
that he had one time, one time I

1501
01:32:37,040 --> 01:32:39,960
asked, I've mentioned this on my
own podcast quite a few times,

1502
01:32:39,960 --> 01:32:46,800
but I once asked the Lord if
there was anything I did that

1503
01:32:46,800 --> 01:32:51,240
annoyed him and I wouldn't.
Laugh.

1504
01:32:51,560 --> 01:32:53,520
Every time I say that, everyone
always laughs at me.

1505
01:32:53,520 --> 01:32:55,240
I don't know.
I wouldn't ask that question,

1506
01:32:55,240 --> 01:33:00,480
but good for you.
Well, a friend of mine, she had

1507
01:33:00,480 --> 01:33:06,440
said that she would ask the Lord
what lack I yet, and I'm like, I

1508
01:33:06,440 --> 01:33:09,480
didn't feel like that was the
question I was supposed to ask

1509
01:33:09,480 --> 01:33:13,120
you do, but I felt like asking
him a question, you know,

1510
01:33:13,120 --> 01:33:16,160
because I wanted some interest.
I felt introspective, but I was

1511
01:33:17,120 --> 01:33:19,360
that wasn't it didn't feel
right, you know, 'cause I was, I

1512
01:33:19,360 --> 01:33:23,480
was already going through enough
like depressing things being

1513
01:33:23,480 --> 01:33:25,280
said to me.
It was again towards the end of

1514
01:33:25,280 --> 01:33:27,720
my marriage.
But so I asked him, is there

1515
01:33:27,720 --> 01:33:29,800
anything you I do that annoys
you?

1516
01:33:30,480 --> 01:33:33,080
And is it?
His answer was funny to me

1517
01:33:33,880 --> 01:33:39,560
because he said whenever you say
I, I don't know or I don't

1518
01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:43,880
understand, He said, because you
could understand, if you would

1519
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:47,160
just ask me, you could
understand.

1520
01:33:47,400 --> 01:33:50,480
So when you say I I don't know
or I don't understand, that's

1521
01:33:50,480 --> 01:33:54,040
annoying because you could,
right?

1522
01:33:55,600 --> 01:34:01,040
And so I don't know.
But OK, so I, I keep feeling

1523
01:34:01,040 --> 01:34:03,760
this on my heart that I need to,
to mention this.

1524
01:34:04,640 --> 01:34:06,760
It is more personal.
It is kind of, you know,

1525
01:34:06,760 --> 01:34:09,880
personal.
But I also want people to not

1526
01:34:09,880 --> 01:34:13,680
lose hope because like I said,
you know, like my own kids have

1527
01:34:13,680 --> 01:34:16,640
said, oh, I guess I'm not good
enough for all that great

1528
01:34:16,640 --> 01:34:21,720
revelation you're talking about
that so seems out of reach and

1529
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:27,360
feels out of touch for some.
And I just want you to know that

1530
01:34:33,600 --> 01:34:36,720
I'll just talk about me for a
second and hopefully it's

1531
01:34:36,720 --> 01:34:45,720
helpful in the last two years.
Sorry.

1532
01:34:47,400 --> 01:34:51,760
Two years ago, the beginning of
December, my divorce was

1533
01:34:51,760 --> 01:34:57,760
finalized and a couple days
later, after releasing my very

1534
01:34:57,760 --> 01:35:03,120
first podcast after the Lord had
been asking me for months, like

1535
01:35:03,120 --> 01:35:06,640
I said, it took about 3 months
for me to agree to do the

1536
01:35:06,640 --> 01:35:11,760
podcast.
I was really scared and I

1537
01:35:11,800 --> 01:35:15,720
released that podcast on like a
Monday and by that next Sunday I

1538
01:35:15,760 --> 01:35:22,880
was in the Bishop's office and
he asked me to either stop my

1539
01:35:22,880 --> 01:35:27,400
podcast or basically remove,
remove my name or I would have

1540
01:35:27,400 --> 01:35:33,080
to have to have a council, you
know, face the church council.

1541
01:35:33,400 --> 01:35:35,720
A Bishop, a A a A court of love,
and they.

1542
01:35:35,760 --> 01:35:38,520
Decide whether or not I'm going
to get excommunicated for it.

1543
01:35:42,560 --> 01:35:50,040
And so I went through that
meeting with my Bishop, who was

1544
01:35:50,040 --> 01:35:53,280
a leader, a local leader of a
church I'd spent my whole life a

1545
01:35:53,280 --> 01:35:59,960
part of and loved asking me if I
was going to remove my name just

1546
01:35:59,960 --> 01:36:03,800
because I dared to do a podcast.
Like I just, I still don't even

1547
01:36:03,800 --> 01:36:07,720
really understand it, but that's
what happened.

1548
01:36:08,880 --> 01:36:10,320
And there was no uncertain
terms.

1549
01:36:10,320 --> 01:36:14,200
Like I was not allowed to do a
podcast and be a member of my

1550
01:36:14,200 --> 01:36:19,520
ward.
And so I in the matter of a

1551
01:36:19,520 --> 01:36:27,800
week, my divorce was finalized
and I was basically ushered out

1552
01:36:27,800 --> 01:36:28,680
of a church.
I left.

1553
01:36:31,400 --> 01:36:38,840
And so for the last two years I
have been kind of traumatized by

1554
01:36:40,360 --> 01:36:46,840
by church, by leaders, by men.
It was, it's all been different

1555
01:36:46,840 --> 01:36:51,040
layers of trauma I didn't even
expect really that hit me.

1556
01:36:52,800 --> 01:36:57,800
And I have spent my whole life
loving the scriptures and loving

1557
01:36:57,800 --> 01:37:02,360
the Lord.
But over the last two years, I I

1558
01:37:02,360 --> 01:37:04,920
could not open my scriptures for
over a year.

1559
01:37:05,120 --> 01:37:08,080
Like I literally couldn't give
myself to because every time I

1560
01:37:08,080 --> 01:37:13,360
even looked at them, I felt like
the weight of the unrighteous

1561
01:37:13,360 --> 01:37:16,360
dominion I'd experienced made me
want to puke.

1562
01:37:16,520 --> 01:37:22,480
I couldn't even pick them up.
And then I just thought about

1563
01:37:22,480 --> 01:37:27,440
like and unbidden because I
didn't.

1564
01:37:27,760 --> 01:37:33,520
The Lords done so much for me.
There was this pain every time,

1565
01:37:33,640 --> 01:37:39,080
like even with the Lord, there's
been pain in my heart about it.

1566
01:37:40,240 --> 01:37:42,520
Like why did this have to happen
to me?

1567
01:37:43,400 --> 01:37:49,760
Why am I alone?
And I have felt like judged by

1568
01:37:49,760 --> 01:37:52,200
that, you know, like, Oh my, am
I doing something wrong?

1569
01:37:52,200 --> 01:37:53,640
Am I evil?
Am I wicked?

1570
01:37:53,640 --> 01:37:57,280
Like what has happened?
I know my heart hurts and I've

1571
01:37:57,280 --> 01:38:01,320
been trying to like, OK, I did.
I did have a dream where he told

1572
01:38:01,320 --> 01:38:05,600
me he handed me a shovel and he
said, Sarah, you're down in this

1573
01:38:05,600 --> 01:38:07,160
hole.
Like in the dream, I was in this

1574
01:38:07,160 --> 01:38:10,120
pit with stairs and he's like,
Sarah, you need to get yourself

1575
01:38:10,120 --> 01:38:11,640
out of there.
I'll help you.

1576
01:38:11,800 --> 01:38:15,120
And he handed me a shovel, you
know, and asked me to help fill

1577
01:38:15,120 --> 01:38:16,800
in the pit to get myself out of
it.

1578
01:38:19,040 --> 01:38:22,240
But I felt very disconnected is
the simplest way to explain

1579
01:38:22,240 --> 01:38:23,680
this.
I felt very disconnected and I

1580
01:38:23,680 --> 01:38:26,440
was in a lot of pain dealing
with a lot of.

1581
01:38:33,080 --> 01:38:34,320
What is the word I'm looking
for?

1582
01:38:38,480 --> 01:38:41,760
I don't know if I can't.
I can't figure out the word but

1583
01:38:41,880 --> 01:38:44,760
I couldn't open my scriptures
and I would pray but it was

1584
01:38:44,760 --> 01:38:53,560
still painful for me.
But I still left open a avenue.

1585
01:38:53,560 --> 01:38:56,200
I still prayed regularly.
It just wasn't with the same

1586
01:38:56,200 --> 01:39:02,080
depth because I was hurting and
I I'd still.

1587
01:39:02,520 --> 01:39:08,320
So I wanted to share because in
the last couple months, the

1588
01:39:08,320 --> 01:39:10,400
Lord's helped me out of that
hole.

1589
01:39:12,400 --> 01:39:15,960
He did what he said he would do,
help me Get Me Out of it.

1590
01:39:17,080 --> 01:39:21,120
But sometimes, you know, when I
talked about the power of

1591
01:39:21,120 --> 01:39:24,640
declaration, about how we can
declare our faith, right?

1592
01:39:26,880 --> 01:39:31,640
Well, sometimes when you can't
pray because it hurts too much,

1593
01:39:32,920 --> 01:39:40,520
which I got a verse about that,
all you can do is pray and ask

1594
01:39:40,520 --> 01:39:45,480
him to not give up on you and
stay beside you until you're

1595
01:39:45,480 --> 01:39:51,120
ready because he's
understanding, you know, like

1596
01:39:51,120 --> 01:39:54,640
he, he knows what you're going
through and he didn't.

1597
01:39:54,640 --> 01:39:59,560
He doesn't take off.
He just is giving you your time

1598
01:40:00,160 --> 01:40:02,600
to grieve and feel what you need
to feel.

1599
01:40:03,360 --> 01:40:05,640
But he's right there.
He's still there.

1600
01:40:07,640 --> 01:40:14,760
One time he showed me that even
if you need to, even if you need

1601
01:40:14,760 --> 01:40:18,120
to circle back around and and
learn something or take a break,

1602
01:40:18,120 --> 01:40:20,720
he walks with you and he circles
back around with you and he

1603
01:40:20,720 --> 01:40:25,080
doesn't leave you alone.
In your struggles and I just,

1604
01:40:25,320 --> 01:40:29,120
and I just wanted to say that
even when it feels like you're

1605
01:40:29,120 --> 01:40:32,320
disconnected or maybe you don't
feel like you're wearing that

1606
01:40:32,320 --> 01:40:41,760
helmet, we can keep that helmet
in place if we just ask, keep

1607
01:40:41,760 --> 01:40:44,480
that little bit open and just
say, just stay with me.

1608
01:40:45,840 --> 01:40:48,320
I know I'm in a hard place right
now and I know that it's hard

1609
01:40:48,320 --> 01:40:52,840
for me to reach out and I know
that I'm struggling, but don't,

1610
01:40:53,000 --> 01:40:58,560
don't leave me because I'll I
will be ready eventually.

1611
01:40:58,760 --> 01:41:03,240
Please help me get there.
And then this is applicable even

1612
01:41:03,240 --> 01:41:11,520
for those that maybe don't
receive clear answers to their

1613
01:41:11,520 --> 01:41:14,280
prayers.
I've actually had multiple

1614
01:41:14,280 --> 01:41:19,320
conversations with other adults
that don't that feel bad because

1615
01:41:19,320 --> 01:41:21,680
they don't receive really clear
answers.

1616
01:41:22,960 --> 01:41:30,320
And you know, when I was when I
was younger, I specifically

1617
01:41:30,320 --> 01:41:34,720
asked the Lord to help me
practice hearing him and help me

1618
01:41:34,720 --> 01:41:40,080
to practice like knowing it was
from him, feeling the Spirit,

1619
01:41:40,080 --> 01:41:42,320
like hearing the voice of the
Spirit.

1620
01:41:43,640 --> 01:41:46,440
I asked for for practice with
the Lord.

1621
01:41:46,480 --> 01:41:50,480
Like I said, I really like I'm,
I was very intentional about it.

1622
01:41:50,480 --> 01:41:55,520
I want to get better at this.
And so I'm going to practice and

1623
01:41:55,520 --> 01:41:58,760
I'm going to pray about things,
even things that feel silly to

1624
01:41:58,760 --> 01:42:01,120
pray about because I want to
hear the voice of the spirit.

1625
01:42:03,160 --> 01:42:06,880
So if you.
And so in the end, it's about an

1626
01:42:06,880 --> 01:42:10,840
open heart to it.
And we can be totally honest

1627
01:42:10,840 --> 01:42:15,120
with the Lord, like we don't
always have to show up at her

1628
01:42:15,120 --> 01:42:19,240
best because he's still the
best.

1629
01:42:23,000 --> 01:42:28,440
So even when we're not, because
we might have to place the armor

1630
01:42:28,440 --> 01:42:34,440
on her head, but it's still him.
He's still the armor, you know?

1631
01:42:35,760 --> 01:42:36,960
Absolutely.
So he's still there.

1632
01:42:39,840 --> 01:42:42,720
You know, I'll share a story
here real quick.

1633
01:42:46,200 --> 01:42:48,640
First off, before I go there,
let me say this.

1634
01:42:51,000 --> 01:42:57,360
And I said this before and in in
this podcast, in this episode,

1635
01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:00,920
but I think it's probably worth
repeating again.

1636
01:43:02,120 --> 01:43:06,880
Hearing the voice of the Lord
isn't natural, right?

1637
01:43:07,560 --> 01:43:11,560
For some people, I think it is.
I think for the rest of us, it's

1638
01:43:11,560 --> 01:43:16,560
learning to speak a new language
and that takes time.

1639
01:43:17,680 --> 01:43:25,800
And just like anything else,
trauma and pain, and definitely

1640
01:43:25,800 --> 01:43:29,360
make certain things take a back
seat if it's allowed.

1641
01:43:31,880 --> 01:43:35,120
Nonetheless, you're going to
want to pick that language back

1642
01:43:35,120 --> 01:43:38,680
up again at some point.
It might be two years, it might

1643
01:43:38,680 --> 01:43:41,920
be 5 years, but at some point
you're going to want to keep

1644
01:43:42,160 --> 01:43:44,680
going with that and learning
that language.

1645
01:43:46,280 --> 01:43:50,320
When someone says I don't.
Keep it open, you know like

1646
01:43:50,320 --> 01:43:51,960
don't close the door on the
Lord.

1647
01:43:52,440 --> 01:43:59,560
Like I, I felt the pain of it
was painful when I thought about

1648
01:43:59,560 --> 01:44:06,160
like, I still don't understand
it all, but I knew I felt all

1649
01:44:06,160 --> 01:44:10,240
this pain around it all.
But I also always left the door

1650
01:44:10,240 --> 01:44:13,920
open because I knew he was the
one I needed, you know?

1651
01:44:14,040 --> 01:44:18,800
And even if I didn't hear for a
while or even if I saw myself

1652
01:44:18,800 --> 01:44:22,280
running away because I can't
tell you how many times he

1653
01:44:22,280 --> 01:44:25,440
prompted me to just read my
scriptures or something.

1654
01:44:25,440 --> 01:44:27,720
And I'm like, but every time I
even look at them, I want to

1655
01:44:27,720 --> 01:44:31,880
puke, Lord, right?
I don't know what to do.

1656
01:44:33,000 --> 01:44:35,920
It was that cause the Scriptures
were used as something that like

1657
01:44:35,920 --> 01:44:39,080
a club to beat you up with
Sarah, so to speak, right?

1658
01:44:39,360 --> 01:44:42,720
You know from your
ecclesiastical leaders that sort

1659
01:44:42,720 --> 01:44:44,840
of thing.
I think I think it was just

1660
01:44:44,840 --> 01:44:47,480
because it was tied to the
church, because the the book.

1661
01:44:47,840 --> 01:44:49,760
Of.
The church's book, you know, in

1662
01:44:49,760 --> 01:44:53,040
my mind, 'cause I grew up right,
like Mormons read the Book of

1663
01:44:53,040 --> 01:44:57,320
Mormon and it was the Mormon
church that basically rejected

1664
01:44:57,320 --> 01:45:01,400
me, you know, kicked me out.
And so it just, I think it was

1665
01:45:01,400 --> 01:45:07,080
just lumped up into that hurt me
emotionally and it took a.

1666
01:45:07,080 --> 01:45:12,720
While, yeah, understandably
someone, look, I'm going to say

1667
01:45:12,720 --> 01:45:17,080
this, I hear that a little bit
too, that I can't feel this.

1668
01:45:17,240 --> 01:45:20,120
I, I can't hear his voice,
right.

1669
01:45:20,720 --> 01:45:25,960
But I think it's super important
to realize he's trying to talk

1670
01:45:26,680 --> 01:45:31,880
right and you're just not
understanding the language yet.

1671
01:45:33,080 --> 01:45:35,520
Well, and I and I do think it's
important to understand like

1672
01:45:35,520 --> 01:45:44,280
there's, it's like a, a ladder
that we are climbing, right.

1673
01:45:44,560 --> 01:45:49,440
OK, so when we are early on and
hearing the spirit, it may be

1674
01:45:49,440 --> 01:45:52,160
small nudges.
You know, when I was a kid, it

1675
01:45:52,160 --> 01:45:57,320
was just like a little nudge
this way or that, or it'd be a

1676
01:45:57,320 --> 01:45:59,720
yes or a no.
And I got a little older and I

1677
01:45:59,720 --> 01:46:10,080
started hearing a yes or no, you
know, And then it wasn't until

1678
01:46:11,320 --> 01:46:23,520
about 6 years ago or so that I
started receiving more what I

1679
01:46:23,520 --> 01:46:27,080
call like little movies,
visions, what pure intelligence

1680
01:46:27,080 --> 01:46:33,280
where it comes with a movie in
the my mind, basically, and A

1681
01:46:33,880 --> 01:46:38,280
and words, you know, like, and,
and I recognize that that's

1682
01:46:38,600 --> 01:46:42,600
could potentially be just the
way that they communicate with

1683
01:46:42,600 --> 01:46:45,040
me because I understand it the
best and that some people may

1684
01:46:45,040 --> 01:46:48,000
speak with the Lord and not hear
any get any of that, you know

1685
01:46:48,000 --> 01:46:56,400
what I mean?
So I also, but it's, but it's

1686
01:46:56,400 --> 01:47:00,120
like I heard the voice of the
spirit and then the spirit

1687
01:47:00,120 --> 01:47:04,320
taught, teaches me things.
And that's different than when

1688
01:47:04,320 --> 01:47:06,920
the, when I hear the voice of
the Lord or when he comes to

1689
01:47:06,920 --> 01:47:10,960
visit me, like, and that's like,
I don't want to say it's like

1690
01:47:10,960 --> 01:47:13,720
moving up the ladder because
then maybe someone might feel

1691
01:47:13,720 --> 01:47:16,800
like it's a you're not good
enough thing, but it's a

1692
01:47:16,800 --> 01:47:21,280
frequency thing from what I
understand, you know, like it's

1693
01:47:21,360 --> 01:47:24,440
a, it's a maybe what, what word
I'll use.

1694
01:47:24,440 --> 01:47:26,720
It's more of a Mormon word,
sanctification.

1695
01:47:28,720 --> 01:47:31,160
It's sanctification.
Right.

1696
01:47:32,280 --> 01:47:34,480
It's, you know, in the
scriptures they talk about

1697
01:47:34,480 --> 01:47:38,600
transfiguration to be in the
presence of God, you know, like

1698
01:47:38,600 --> 01:47:41,840
we are being sanctified and
purified to be in his presence.

1699
01:47:42,320 --> 01:47:48,680
And it's, it's practice, it's
humility and practice and not

1700
01:47:48,680 --> 01:47:50,960
giving up.
Do you know how many times I

1701
01:47:50,960 --> 01:47:53,840
would pray about something and I
didn't get an answer?

1702
01:47:53,840 --> 01:47:57,800
And I'd say, I'm so sorry Lord,
I can't hear you very well

1703
01:47:57,800 --> 01:48:00,080
today.
My bad.

1704
01:48:00,960 --> 01:48:05,640
But I do want an answer and I'm
going to try again tomorrow, you

1705
01:48:05,640 --> 01:48:08,200
know?
I think you're hitting on an

1706
01:48:08,200 --> 01:48:11,240
important concept there.
Look, if if learning the

1707
01:48:11,240 --> 01:48:13,280
language of the Spirit and
learning to hear the Lord's

1708
01:48:13,280 --> 01:48:18,800
voice is an acquired skill,
which one of us would attempt to

1709
01:48:18,800 --> 01:48:23,440
do anything, fail once and never
do it again, right?

1710
01:48:23,880 --> 01:48:27,400
Anybody who has learned to play
the piano, not that I would

1711
01:48:27,400 --> 01:48:32,040
know, but anybody that learns
how to play the piano, I doubt

1712
01:48:32,040 --> 01:48:34,800
they hit a wrong key every once
in a while and throw their hands

1713
01:48:34,800 --> 01:48:38,440
up and walk away and say it's
impossible, right?

1714
01:48:38,800 --> 01:48:42,760
If you're learning any new
skill, look, I hate to break it

1715
01:48:42,760 --> 01:48:45,840
to you, you're probably going to
suck at it at first, right?

1716
01:48:46,160 --> 01:48:52,840
But you just keep going that
scripture about being steadfast

1717
01:48:52,840 --> 01:48:55,680
and immovable.
I think that carries a lot of

1718
01:48:55,680 --> 01:48:59,440
weight.
The root word of disciple is

1719
01:48:59,440 --> 01:49:03,160
discipline.
And everybody I know, myself

1720
01:49:03,160 --> 01:49:07,000
included, I hate that word,
right?

1721
01:49:07,280 --> 01:49:09,800
It's work.
It is, it is.

1722
01:49:10,160 --> 01:49:17,760
It is never ending work and it
is discipline to do it even when

1723
01:49:17,760 --> 01:49:21,520
you don't want to.
I watched a really two really

1724
01:49:21,520 --> 01:49:26,680
fascinating documentaries or I
thought they were fascinating.

1725
01:49:27,720 --> 01:49:30,840
One was on Michael Jordan, the
other was on Tom Brady.

1726
01:49:31,360 --> 01:49:36,880
Both of them excellent in their
fields, perhaps the greatest

1727
01:49:36,880 --> 01:49:39,360
they've ever been at their
respective positions.

1728
01:49:40,280 --> 01:49:45,080
But they had something in common
and that's something in common

1729
01:49:45,080 --> 01:49:50,400
is they just wanted it worse
than most people.

1730
01:49:54,160 --> 01:49:59,640
And I it's simple.
It doesn't mean it's easy,

1731
01:50:00,640 --> 01:50:05,040
right?
If discipline is what it takes

1732
01:50:05,040 --> 01:50:11,280
to be a disciple, you got to
want it, right?

1733
01:50:11,880 --> 01:50:16,560
And part of the reason I think
people get so burnt out so

1734
01:50:16,560 --> 01:50:19,480
quickly, where they're willing
to give up, it's because they

1735
01:50:19,480 --> 01:50:22,120
haven't learned how to enjoy the
process.

1736
01:50:23,720 --> 01:50:26,640
As Mormons, especially in the
LDS church, as we come out of

1737
01:50:26,640 --> 01:50:31,840
the LDS church, we are given a
set of goals that we want to

1738
01:50:31,840 --> 01:50:34,200
achieve, right?
You're going to do all your

1739
01:50:34,200 --> 01:50:36,120
stuff to get your young women's
medallion.

1740
01:50:36,560 --> 01:50:38,360
When I was in the church, it was
young men.

1741
01:50:38,360 --> 01:50:40,680
We're going to do all these
things to get their Eagle Scout.

1742
01:50:41,000 --> 01:50:43,840
And then when you got your Eagle
Scout, if you were a young man,

1743
01:50:44,120 --> 01:50:47,000
you were off on a mission.
And then when you were back off

1744
01:50:47,000 --> 01:50:48,440
of a mission, it was getting
married.

1745
01:50:48,680 --> 01:50:53,240
And so your whole thing was kind
of structured, right?

1746
01:50:54,800 --> 01:50:56,920
And that's great.
That's good.

1747
01:50:57,560 --> 01:51:00,400
That can keep you busy when
you'd rather not be.

1748
01:51:01,200 --> 01:51:04,240
But at some point you got to
stop going through the motions,

1749
01:51:04,480 --> 01:51:07,240
right?
You got to kind of really want

1750
01:51:07,240 --> 01:51:12,160
it.
And sometimes that goes away.

1751
01:51:12,160 --> 01:51:14,800
And that's where that
repetitiveness can help you,

1752
01:51:14,840 --> 01:51:17,720
right?
Not all of us are feeling it all

1753
01:51:17,720 --> 01:51:22,280
the time, right?
Look, motivation, motivation is

1754
01:51:22,280 --> 01:51:26,640
fickle, right?
Motivation comes and goes.

1755
01:51:26,840 --> 01:51:31,080
Discipline is there forever.
And so when you get to that

1756
01:51:31,080 --> 01:51:34,640
point where you're just out of
motivation, it's where you fall

1757
01:51:34,640 --> 01:51:37,280
on discipline, right?
It's just what I do.

1758
01:51:37,400 --> 01:51:40,080
Why am I going to church today?
Am I feeling it?

1759
01:51:40,160 --> 01:51:43,760
No, but it's what I do and the
you.

1760
01:51:43,760 --> 01:51:45,360
But you know what happens,
right?

1761
01:51:45,440 --> 01:51:47,160
Fake it till you make.
It's a real thing.

1762
01:51:47,600 --> 01:51:50,760
It works.
At some point that fire will

1763
01:51:50,760 --> 01:51:55,400
catch again and you will have
another great session of taking

1764
01:51:55,400 --> 01:51:58,240
massive steps forward.
And then it'll feel like you

1765
01:51:58,240 --> 01:52:03,280
plateaued and you'll repeat that
process, but enjoy that process,

1766
01:52:03,360 --> 01:52:06,320
understands that's where that's
where learning takes place.

1767
01:52:06,560 --> 01:52:11,920
That's where growth takes place.
Without that, it would be

1768
01:52:12,080 --> 01:52:16,360
relatively boring.
So I, I totally can get, you

1769
01:52:16,640 --> 01:52:17,960
know, get what you're saying
there.

1770
01:52:18,440 --> 01:52:22,360
Well, that's interesting because
like, and I just wanted to say

1771
01:52:22,400 --> 01:52:25,120
like, not everyone's journey is
going to look the same.

1772
01:52:25,120 --> 01:52:27,280
And I think that's actually what
burns people out sometimes is

1773
01:52:27,280 --> 01:52:31,280
they, they want their path to
look like someone else's and if

1774
01:52:31,280 --> 01:52:34,320
it doesn't, they feel like they
failed.

1775
01:52:35,000 --> 01:52:40,440
And so, you know, I, I had a
hard time picking up my Book of

1776
01:52:40,440 --> 01:52:45,160
Mormon, but I didn't have a
problem picking up lots of other

1777
01:52:45,520 --> 01:52:48,320
records.
You know, like I've read a lot

1778
01:52:48,320 --> 01:52:52,800
of different things this last
couple years, just not that one.

1779
01:52:53,120 --> 01:52:58,560
And well, and I've, and I've
been able to more recently, but

1780
01:52:58,560 --> 01:53:01,320
you know, it was, it was
surprising for like at least a

1781
01:53:01,320 --> 01:53:05,320
whole year.
And I but I got to read a lot of

1782
01:53:05,320 --> 01:53:09,960
other really cool books.
The Lord sent me to some other

1783
01:53:10,120 --> 01:53:18,480
more apocryphal writings and I
studied some of those and I was

1784
01:53:18,480 --> 01:53:23,440
able to to study of a lot of
other really cool stuff, stuff

1785
01:53:23,440 --> 01:53:27,280
that still edified my soul, the
stuff that still taught me, just

1786
01:53:27,280 --> 01:53:31,600
not a certain thing that I was
dealing with that I needed to

1787
01:53:31,600 --> 01:53:35,000
heal what, you know, I needed
healing and I needed help with

1788
01:53:35,000 --> 01:53:39,000
in that area of my life that
maybe wasn't progressing what I

1789
01:53:39,000 --> 01:53:41,720
didn't consider progressing, but
I was still progressing in so

1790
01:53:41,720 --> 01:53:44,560
many other ways.
I was still being edified in so

1791
01:53:44,560 --> 01:53:48,920
many other ways and there was
some fake it till you make it

1792
01:53:48,920 --> 01:53:51,960
kind of stuff going on.
But that's but that's not even

1793
01:53:51,960 --> 01:53:53,920
necessarily true because it
wasn't fake.

1794
01:53:54,280 --> 01:53:58,080
That's where it came in, the
declaration of faith, because

1795
01:53:58,080 --> 01:54:01,800
yeah, I wasn't feeling it always
here, but I was saying, but I

1796
01:54:01,800 --> 01:54:06,200
could still say no.
I know the Lord has saved me,

1797
01:54:06,200 --> 01:54:08,120
has helped me through so many
things.

1798
01:54:08,120 --> 01:54:10,640
I know he is real.
I know He exists.

1799
01:54:10,640 --> 01:54:12,360
I've talked to him so many
times.

1800
01:54:12,560 --> 01:54:16,880
He has saved me in so many ways.
I can list them a few right off

1801
01:54:16,880 --> 01:54:20,320
the top of my head.
And I may have been struggling

1802
01:54:21,720 --> 01:54:24,720
emotionally with things I was
trying to heal from and

1803
01:54:24,720 --> 01:54:29,400
overcome, but I could still
declare my faith that it was

1804
01:54:29,400 --> 01:54:33,640
still carrying me through.
And so, yeah, I was faking maybe

1805
01:54:35,000 --> 01:54:42,000
some things, but more like joy
for a while, you know, because

1806
01:54:42,000 --> 01:54:46,120
my struggles were probably more
depression than anything.

1807
01:54:46,160 --> 01:54:49,480
But it was it was still a really
beautiful time.

1808
01:54:49,480 --> 01:54:53,240
And it's kind of interesting
because now I can look back and

1809
01:54:53,240 --> 01:54:59,280
I see how even that was a lesson
because I was sitting here

1810
01:54:59,280 --> 01:55:03,120
thinking I haven't progressed
near as much as I wanted to in

1811
01:55:03,120 --> 01:55:07,280
the last couple years.
I told you recently I had my

1812
01:55:07,280 --> 01:55:10,680
very first negative comment on
my face on my YouTube channel

1813
01:55:12,280 --> 01:55:15,920
and I feel like I have a plaque
now, you know, officially

1814
01:55:15,920 --> 01:55:18,240
acquired first negative comment
and.

1815
01:55:18,240 --> 01:55:20,080
I've said it.
I said it a few times on the

1816
01:55:20,080 --> 01:55:23,080
podcast, if you're going to
insult me, that's great, but

1817
01:55:23,080 --> 01:55:25,240
just make it smart and witty
because at some point I'm

1818
01:55:25,240 --> 01:55:27,560
turning all of those into a
book, right?

1819
01:55:27,560 --> 01:55:30,280
And it's going to be like all
the right people say all the

1820
01:55:30,280 --> 01:55:33,520
right things about Dave and it's
just going to be the most witty

1821
01:55:34,160 --> 01:55:36,360
takedowns that can come.
So I welcome them, bring them,

1822
01:55:36,360 --> 01:55:39,800
but but make sure you put some
time and effort into it, right?

1823
01:55:40,000 --> 01:55:42,240
Understand you're submitting for
a future book.

1824
01:55:42,720 --> 01:55:45,760
Well, and it's funny because she
was, it was a very, it was

1825
01:55:45,760 --> 01:55:49,680
comment about something I was, I
was vulnerable about.

1826
01:55:50,160 --> 01:55:52,760
And you guys, I've probably said
three things in this podcast.

1827
01:55:52,760 --> 01:55:56,480
I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm gonna
regret that after we get off of

1828
01:55:56,480 --> 01:55:58,960
this that the spirit told me
tell that story.

1829
01:55:58,960 --> 01:56:03,280
But you know what, here's the
thing, I'm a human being and I

1830
01:56:03,280 --> 01:56:06,000
have life and I'm a mom of a
bunch of kids that I parent

1831
01:56:06,000 --> 01:56:10,640
basically alone.
And me and the Lord and our and

1832
01:56:10,640 --> 01:56:13,280
my guardian angels, you know,
like we're, we're the ones

1833
01:56:13,280 --> 01:56:16,160
hanging out doing this thing.
And it's been hard.

1834
01:56:16,160 --> 01:56:18,240
Divorce is hard.
And I think anyone who's ever

1835
01:56:18,240 --> 01:56:22,840
been through it knows that.
And, you know, and most of my

1836
01:56:22,840 --> 01:56:25,920
family lives in another state
and let's just keep on going

1837
01:56:25,920 --> 01:56:27,480
down the list.
I live in an old house that

1838
01:56:27,480 --> 01:56:31,160
really needs help and work and I
don't have a man around to do

1839
01:56:31,160 --> 01:56:32,480
that.
And I don't know how to do that

1840
01:56:32,480 --> 01:56:34,160
stuff.
And I'm trying to figure it out,

1841
01:56:34,160 --> 01:56:35,880
but there's only so much of me
to go around.

1842
01:56:35,880 --> 01:56:37,600
You know, let's just, there's a
lot.

1843
01:56:38,960 --> 01:56:41,800
And so and then just add on to
that getting kicked out of my

1844
01:56:41,800 --> 01:56:46,160
church, you know, I've gone to
my whole life and let's just

1845
01:56:46,160 --> 01:56:49,240
keep throwing it on.
So it was, it was I'm just

1846
01:56:49,240 --> 01:56:52,800
human, you know, it's OK.
But I was been looking back

1847
01:56:53,120 --> 01:56:55,160
because I was kind of getting
down on myself that I hadn't

1848
01:56:55,160 --> 01:56:58,880
gotten.
And it's much done spiritually

1849
01:56:58,880 --> 01:57:01,160
this last couple years.
And then the Lord's like Sarah,

1850
01:57:02,040 --> 01:57:07,400
that's not actually true, you
know, because the couple years

1851
01:57:07,400 --> 01:57:10,920
prior was all learning about the
this, this light filled stuff,

1852
01:57:11,200 --> 01:57:13,360
you know, like I was learning
about my spiritual gifts.

1853
01:57:13,360 --> 01:57:15,840
I was learning who the Lord was
and what the atonement really

1854
01:57:15,840 --> 01:57:17,760
was.
I was learning about Heavenly

1855
01:57:17,760 --> 01:57:22,920
Mother.
I was learning about just lots

1856
01:57:22,920 --> 01:57:27,400
of higher truths that the Lord
was teaching me personally.

1857
01:57:27,400 --> 01:57:29,800
And I've had a lot of really
incredible experiences.

1858
01:57:30,160 --> 01:57:35,240
I've had what I call heavenly
messengers, you know, teach me a

1859
01:57:35,240 --> 01:57:38,880
lot of really beautiful things.
And I had a a few years that was

1860
01:57:38,880 --> 01:57:40,880
really strongly heavily all of
that.

1861
01:57:42,200 --> 01:57:45,600
And I felt very spiritually
lifted constantly, so full of

1862
01:57:45,600 --> 01:57:47,600
light.
You know, so much light was was

1863
01:57:47,600 --> 01:57:52,840
pushed into my life.
And and then the last couple

1864
01:57:52,840 --> 01:57:57,560
years I've experienced the dark
because we have to know both.

1865
01:57:57,560 --> 01:58:01,000
We have to understand both and
so I feel like what he was

1866
01:58:01,000 --> 01:58:03,880
pointing out to me is he said,
Sarah, I spent years teaching

1867
01:58:03,880 --> 01:58:08,160
you the power.
I have the powers.

1868
01:58:08,160 --> 01:58:12,920
You can call on the your
guardian angels, your, you know,

1869
01:58:13,000 --> 01:58:15,880
ministering angels.
You can call on me the power I

1870
01:58:15,880 --> 01:58:22,000
have the declarations of faith.
You know, I've given you these

1871
01:58:22,000 --> 01:58:26,560
tools and then you have the last
two years where you experienced

1872
01:58:26,560 --> 01:58:32,720
the powers of darkness where you
were walking in mists of

1873
01:58:32,960 --> 01:58:37,600
darkness and pain, you know, and
like, and so you cuz I couple

1874
01:58:37,640 --> 01:58:40,880
like a month or so ago, so so
ago I was like, Lord, why do I

1875
01:58:40,880 --> 01:58:43,600
have to cast out so often?
Like this is kind of annoying,

1876
01:58:44,480 --> 01:58:47,680
you know, like you'd think if I
did this, it would be effective

1877
01:58:47,680 --> 01:58:49,560
for longer.
You know what?

1878
01:58:50,280 --> 01:58:52,000
I mean.
Like this seems kind of

1879
01:58:52,000 --> 01:58:56,880
annoying.
And but then he just pointed out

1880
01:58:56,880 --> 01:59:00,160
to me, like Sarah, I needed you
to learn new skills.

1881
01:59:00,560 --> 01:59:01,960
I needed you to learn new
things.

1882
01:59:02,160 --> 01:59:04,680
I needed you to understand the
powers of darkness a little bit

1883
01:59:04,680 --> 01:59:06,800
better.
And this was all learning too,

1884
01:59:07,320 --> 01:59:11,120
you know, and, and he's told me
before, like Sarah, I, I didn't,

1885
01:59:11,960 --> 01:59:18,400
I wasn't as present in your
life, not because I was, you

1886
01:59:18,400 --> 01:59:24,360
were doing anything wrong.
I was giving you space to make

1887
01:59:24,360 --> 01:59:27,760
your decisions and to choose who
you want to be, to choose your

1888
01:59:27,760 --> 01:59:31,640
life and to choose your path.
And he's like, if I'm if I'm

1889
01:59:31,640 --> 01:59:35,280
there, just like when we were
talking about with the study it

1890
01:59:35,280 --> 01:59:38,080
out and make a decision and the
Lord can't move feet that aren't

1891
01:59:38,560 --> 01:59:40,520
moving or direct feet that
aren't moving.

1892
01:59:40,520 --> 01:59:47,200
He's like, I needed you to take
the things you've learned and

1893
01:59:48,400 --> 01:59:51,840
choose what you wanted to be and
who you wanted to be and where

1894
01:59:51,840 --> 01:59:58,800
you wanted to go.
And sometimes he gives us, he

1895
01:59:58,800 --> 02:00:00,720
knows we need that space
sometimes.

1896
02:00:01,480 --> 02:00:03,360
And he's like, that wasn't a
judgement of you.

1897
02:00:04,560 --> 02:00:06,760
Like sometimes he laughs at me
like, well, what have you done

1898
02:00:06,760 --> 02:00:08,880
that's so bad that you think I
ran away?

1899
02:00:09,280 --> 02:00:11,640
You know what I mean?
Like, that's not it.

1900
02:00:12,600 --> 02:00:15,760
That's not it.
Agency is an eternal, an eternal

1901
02:00:15,760 --> 02:00:19,760
principle.
And he gives us our agency.

1902
02:00:20,320 --> 02:00:22,880
He helps us to learn.
But then we also have to

1903
02:00:22,880 --> 02:00:28,400
understand the darkness there
too.

1904
02:00:28,800 --> 02:00:30,760
You know, it's like we receive
education.

1905
02:00:30,760 --> 02:00:34,040
At least my experience is that I
have received education on both

1906
02:00:34,040 --> 02:00:37,040
sides of that coin.
The darkness down, the light.

1907
02:00:38,320 --> 02:00:42,240
And so that we can understand
and appreciate it and choose our

1908
02:00:42,240 --> 02:00:45,680
side.
I don't know, that might be part

1909
02:00:45,680 --> 02:00:49,080
of it.
Decide whose armor we want to

1910
02:00:49,080 --> 02:00:50,440
put on.
Right 'cause we're joining the

1911
02:00:50,440 --> 02:00:56,480
Army soldiers.
You know, I'm, I'm going to make

1912
02:00:56,480 --> 02:01:01,400
an observation here and then if
there's anything else you want

1913
02:01:01,400 --> 02:01:04,600
to touch on, we certainly can or
you can wrap it up.

1914
02:01:04,600 --> 02:01:10,440
Whatever you want to do there.
I'm I'm game for either, but my

1915
02:01:10,440 --> 02:01:14,320
observation is this, you went
through all that stuff, right?

1916
02:01:14,400 --> 02:01:20,000
All that crap.
And even though there were

1917
02:01:20,000 --> 02:01:25,360
things you couldn't do, you
continued to put on the helmet.

1918
02:01:26,000 --> 02:01:27,880
Right.
You never doubted his ability to

1919
02:01:27,880 --> 02:01:32,840
save, his ability to to provide
aid and comfort and healing.

1920
02:01:35,640 --> 02:01:39,160
And you knew it more than just
in your heart.

1921
02:01:39,160 --> 02:01:45,360
You had made sense of it
cognitively.

1922
02:01:45,360 --> 02:01:47,720
You.
You consciously, I should say,

1923
02:01:49,400 --> 02:01:53,920
and I think that's really
benefit of that helmet, in

1924
02:01:53,920 --> 02:01:58,720
addition to if you put that
helmet on, maybe you don't pick

1925
02:01:58,720 --> 02:02:01,240
up some of the messages the
adversary has for you.

1926
02:02:01,240 --> 02:02:03,960
And they're very personal
messages.

1927
02:02:06,440 --> 02:02:11,040
Like I said, I don't think most
people struggle with murder,

1928
02:02:11,320 --> 02:02:13,320
right?
I don't think most people

1929
02:02:13,320 --> 02:02:15,560
struggle with those really
grievous sins.

1930
02:02:15,560 --> 02:02:22,160
So little things and so having
that helmet I think preserved

1931
02:02:22,160 --> 02:02:27,960
you, why you got your feet back
under you again and very much

1932
02:02:27,960 --> 02:02:33,880
was a protective article of of,
of that armor that that kept you

1933
02:02:33,880 --> 02:02:36,680
in the game.
Yeah, you know, and I and I

1934
02:02:36,680 --> 02:02:40,200
didn't always feel like I was,
you know, there's times you get

1935
02:02:40,200 --> 02:02:44,240
a little bit lost in it, but
then I would recognize that and

1936
02:02:44,240 --> 02:02:47,920
myself like, oh, I'm feeling a
little disconnected or a little

1937
02:02:47,920 --> 02:02:54,240
lost in this.
Lord, you know, I'm, I need your

1938
02:02:54,240 --> 02:02:57,440
help here.
You know, I need your help and I

1939
02:02:57,440 --> 02:02:59,720
need, I want it.
I want out of this, you know,

1940
02:02:59,720 --> 02:03:02,640
like I just kind of hit a point
where it was like I always kind

1941
02:03:02,640 --> 02:03:06,160
of left the door open.
I never shut the door on him,

1942
02:03:06,560 --> 02:03:08,360
you know, I was left the door
open for him.

1943
02:03:09,040 --> 02:03:11,360
And I would pray about things.
Like I said, I just, there were

1944
02:03:11,360 --> 02:03:14,560
certain things I couldn't broach
because I was too, I was too

1945
02:03:14,560 --> 02:03:19,600
emotional still.
But he gave me time.

1946
02:03:20,440 --> 02:03:22,320
You don't want to, to kind of
like work through that.

1947
02:03:22,320 --> 02:03:25,760
But then he also like pushed me.
He gave me little nudges along

1948
02:03:25,760 --> 02:03:28,720
the way.
It's like, hey, you know, let's

1949
02:03:28,720 --> 02:03:31,080
walk, let's talk this way.
And there's some, there's some

1950
02:03:31,080 --> 02:03:35,720
healing for you here.
And so I think leaving the door

1951
02:03:35,720 --> 02:03:43,440
open to him and never shutting
that door kept me grounded to

1952
02:03:43,440 --> 02:03:49,640
where I never lost that, that
light, that helmet of protection

1953
02:03:49,640 --> 02:03:54,840
of like I still knew he was
there for me.

1954
02:03:56,040 --> 02:03:59,840
And so I do think there is,
there's some truth to that for

1955
02:03:59,840 --> 02:04:08,360
sure, but I do.
But I did also have 11 Sunday.

1956
02:04:10,000 --> 02:04:12,560
I hadn't actually, because I
stopped going to church after I

1957
02:04:12,560 --> 02:04:14,920
was basically kicked out, right?
I was told I wasn't allowed to

1958
02:04:15,480 --> 02:04:17,760
lead the flock astray and
whatever.

1959
02:04:17,760 --> 02:04:26,120
So we stopped attending and and
I had some friends coming into

1960
02:04:26,120 --> 02:04:29,080
town and they were going to go
to this church down in past

1961
02:04:29,080 --> 02:04:30,960
Kansas City.
So it's like an hour and a half

1962
02:04:31,120 --> 02:04:34,520
S for me and I've never been to
this church.

1963
02:04:34,520 --> 02:04:36,440
I had no idea who these people
were, but I actually felt

1964
02:04:36,440 --> 02:04:40,000
prompted to go.
And but it started at like 9:30

1965
02:04:40,000 --> 02:04:41,840
in the morning, pretty early.
And it's an hour and a half

1966
02:04:41,840 --> 02:04:45,360
drive and I have 7 kids.
But thankfully my kids had had a

1967
02:04:45,360 --> 02:04:48,200
lot of fun with some of the
other kids that were going to go

1968
02:04:48,200 --> 02:04:51,680
there, so they were up for it.
So we all got up early and made

1969
02:04:51,680 --> 02:04:56,720
our drive down.
And the whole point of the story

1970
02:04:56,720 --> 02:04:58,920
is going to be that you don't
have to do it alone.

1971
02:05:00,520 --> 02:05:05,160
Yes, I get to this church and
they don't really have a

1972
02:05:05,160 --> 02:05:08,000
service.
They what they do is they sing

1973
02:05:08,000 --> 02:05:13,200
different songs, worship songs.
And then they have a chair

1974
02:05:13,200 --> 02:05:17,040
basically in the front of the OR
in between the two, you know,

1975
02:05:17,040 --> 02:05:20,680
sides of seats where people can
go up and just ask for a prayer

1976
02:05:21,120 --> 02:05:24,960
for people to pray for them.
And whoever feels inspired comes

1977
02:05:24,960 --> 02:05:26,880
up and just puts their hand on
you and prays for you.

1978
02:05:28,680 --> 02:05:36,600
And I don't remember specifics
of what was said, but I do

1979
02:05:36,600 --> 02:05:44,880
remember how loved I felt and
how grateful I was that even

1980
02:05:44,880 --> 02:05:48,760
though I'd spent, you know, the
last year or so feeling like I

1981
02:05:48,760 --> 02:05:56,280
was pushing the Lord away more
than then pulling him in, you

1982
02:05:56,280 --> 02:06:00,760
know, which was so different for
me because I've always been like

1983
02:06:03,040 --> 02:06:05,200
aggressively pursuing the Lord
my whole life.

1984
02:06:05,520 --> 02:06:08,360
And so this last year and a half
was, was really emotionally

1985
02:06:08,360 --> 02:06:10,120
difficult and so different for
me.

1986
02:06:11,640 --> 02:06:14,360
But it made me feel so seen and
loved, like the Lord wasn't

1987
02:06:14,360 --> 02:06:18,160
condemning me.
He's like, I, I know what you're

1988
02:06:18,160 --> 02:06:22,920
going through and, and I want, I
want you to heal.

1989
02:06:23,800 --> 02:06:26,800
And he, it was really beautiful.
And it was really beautiful to

1990
02:06:26,800 --> 02:06:32,000
have those people be so willing
to get up and speak whatever the

1991
02:06:32,000 --> 02:06:39,680
Lord put on their heart.
And it just made me, it unlocked

1992
02:06:39,680 --> 02:06:42,520
something in me that I felt
ready.

1993
02:06:44,320 --> 02:06:48,200
I felt ready to just shed it
all, shed off all the sadness

1994
02:06:48,200 --> 02:06:51,400
and depression and just like get
back to work, you know, because

1995
02:06:51,400 --> 02:06:55,480
I'm like, that's the Lord.
That's the guy I know, you know,

1996
02:06:56,040 --> 02:06:59,560
I don't want to get, I'm tired
of all this.

1997
02:07:00,160 --> 02:07:02,640
I'm tired of all this sadness
and I'm ready to get back in the

1998
02:07:02,800 --> 02:07:08,560
back to work, you know, And it
helped me so much to just have

1999
02:07:08,560 --> 02:07:19,840
people the Lord love on me that
way through people that day made

2000
02:07:19,840 --> 02:07:32,750
a tremendous difference.
So the helmet of salvation.

2001
02:07:35,390 --> 02:07:39,390
Life can feel like a storm
sometimes, and I don't think

2002
02:07:39,390 --> 02:07:47,670
those storms are done.
I think more will come, but when

2003
02:07:47,670 --> 02:07:54,840
we know that the Lord has a
plan, I love that if we can

2004
02:07:54,840 --> 02:07:58,440
trust Him enough to put our
lives in His hands, in the lives

2005
02:07:58,440 --> 02:08:02,520
of our children, that we can
have hope and that we can be

2006
02:08:02,520 --> 02:08:06,280
unmoved in our faith in the
salvation of God.

2007
02:08:10,440 --> 02:08:16,480
So I challenge you to put your
faith in the Lord and trust that

2008
02:08:16,480 --> 02:08:23,200
He has salvation in your, that
you're for you in your future,

2009
02:08:23,360 --> 02:08:27,480
in your present, in your now,
and that you can walk with

2010
02:08:27,920 --> 02:08:32,680
courage in your footsteps to
know that He has your back.

2011
02:08:33,480 --> 02:08:39,240
And what does that verse say?
That he will be send angels to

2012
02:08:39,240 --> 02:08:44,200
be before you and behind you, on
your right hand and on your

2013
02:08:44,200 --> 02:08:53,480
left.
You can you can trust the Lord

2014
02:08:54,160 --> 02:08:57,880
and so put on that of salvation.
I think it's really lovely

2015
02:08:57,880 --> 02:09:03,720
because when we can really get
to know what salvation truly is,

2016
02:09:03,720 --> 02:09:07,880
what that atonement truly means
for us, we can have so much more

2017
02:09:07,880 --> 02:09:13,720
peace in our walk in life and
trust him so much more with our

2018
02:09:13,720 --> 02:09:20,200
path and have be that steadfast
and, and immovable that you

2019
02:09:20,200 --> 02:09:23,240
mentioned.
And I can just testify of this

2020
02:09:23,280 --> 02:09:29,920
because I, he has walked with me
through a few different storms

2021
02:09:31,840 --> 02:09:34,920
and he is, you know what, he's a
great example.

2022
02:09:35,520 --> 02:09:37,640
He wants us to be steadfast and
immovable.

2023
02:09:37,640 --> 02:09:41,840
That's because that's exactly,
exactly the kind of guy he is.

2024
02:09:43,560 --> 02:09:47,120
When I just witnessed to that
and Jesus.

2025
02:09:49,160 --> 02:09:49,680
Name.
Amen.

2026
02:09:50,240 --> 02:09:51,960
Sarah.
That was great stuff.

2027
02:09:52,280 --> 02:09:55,680
Let's get you back on again soon
before it's like another two

2028
02:09:55,680 --> 02:09:56,480
years.
How's that sound?

2029
02:09:58,200 --> 02:09:58,800
Sure.
Awesome.

2030
02:09:59,760 --> 02:10:01,360
All right, hang out just 5
minutes.

2031
02:10:01,360 --> 02:10:03,880
All right.
Thanks for doing that.

2032
02:10:03,920 --> 02:10:06,280
Thanks for being so vulnerable
and so raw.

2033
02:10:06,280 --> 02:10:09,240
I know that that comes.
I feel like that's my

2034
02:10:09,240 --> 02:10:10,880
assignment.
That's always my assignment.

2035
02:10:11,240 --> 02:10:13,640
That's your assignment.
How vulnerable will you be,

2036
02:10:13,640 --> 02:10:15,680
Sarah today?
Just just wait.

2037
02:10:16,200 --> 02:10:18,680
Just wait.
It's all right.

2038
02:10:18,760 --> 02:10:20,400
That's all right.
We all got our things.

2039
02:10:20,960 --> 02:10:23,960
But I do appreciate it.
It was good stuff.

2040
02:10:24,040 --> 02:10:25,560
Stick around for about 5
minutes.

2041
02:10:25,560 --> 02:10:27,840
All right.
Sure.

2042
02:10:27,840 --> 02:10:28,680
All right.
Thanks.

2043
02:10:29,360 --> 02:10:30,160
Bye everybody.