Episode #202: Faith Forged Through Adversity W/Cory & Joni Molloy

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Listening to the Mormon Renegade
podcast.

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For a Joni.
How's it going great.

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So good.
Good, you know, full disclosure

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we've known, I guess we've known
each other now, about a year and

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a half, right?
And so it's not like we're

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unfamiliar but as it's just kind
of watched and saw how you guys

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go and just timing was never
right.

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I always wanted to have you on
to talk about how it is.

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You you got hanging out with
fundy's because you normally

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don't get there by happening
stance, right?

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It's not like anyone ever, it's
like, oh, there was a banana

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peel on the sidewalk and when
she know it, I fell right into a

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group of fundamentalists.
So those things are usually a

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little more deliberate.
But man, I'm glad you guys are

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here.
Thanks for the invite.

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We feel just grateful to be
here.

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We have a real kinship with a
lot of the folks that have been

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on the podcast.
I've listened to every single

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podcast here and just I feel
like it's really helped me my

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testimony.
My understanding of the Gospel

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principles to grow and so I'm
just a really big fan of that

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and I feel like I've been a, you
know, a member of the church who

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tries to go extra mile and just
really wants to improve my

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spirituality and connection with
my handling father.

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And so, The insights that I've
learned, you know, buy some of

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these conversations you've had
have just been profound and and

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helping me feel closer to my
heavenly father.

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And so I just really have That
positivity, I just want

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everybody else to know about
this and kind of share that

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these gifts and the insights
that we've been learning.

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So, you know, just glad for the
opportunity to come here and,

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and speak to the audience here
that I have such a appreciation,

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for Well, I appreciate the kind
words about the podcast, A good

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rule of thumb, CUNY out and then
just listen to the guests.

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You're going to be fine that
way.

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So don't have you.
You're you're here too.

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Yeah, well I mean just to give a
little background.

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So Taylor Smith and Justin
Franco.

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I met those guys in college.
Oh, you might say that how I

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kind of became friends with
fundamentalists even though I'm

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active LDS.
So but even before that and I

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know now like with what's
happening online, you hear

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people say like oh you know, I
never knew Joseph Smith was a

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polygamist or you know, I never
knew we were associated with

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those crazy people that wear
Pioneer dresses and and those

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big thick braids and that always
stunned me because I mean, I'm

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my ancestry um, I have some
people that were there in

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Nauvoo.
Joseph, Smith's bodyguard.

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I mean, so, I mean, I'm, I've
got the blue blood Mormon,

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Mormon stuff going on here and
he's, yeah.

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So I I've always known I've had
polygamists, but it really in my

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family line, but I really hit me
hard when I I was really close

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to.
Well, I growing up, we moved

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back to small town Arizona,
where my both sides my family my

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grandparents were.
So I I got to grow up with my

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grandparents and but my dad's
Grandma, I was Close to both my

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grandparents but it's really
close to her.

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She inspired me like health and
nutrition is something Corey and

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I both care about but As I was
got a little older, I realized,

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you know, she was really close
to her grandmother as well.

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Who was a second wife and she
died in 1950, and in my early

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20s that just struck me.
I was like, wow, you know what

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polygamy is a lot closer to us
than we realized.

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I mean, this was my Grandma's
Grandma.

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She knew her, she was alive.
She would ride the school bus

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out to her grandma's house and
hang out with her.

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And her grandma was kind of like
a Brigham Young era type

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Pioneer.
She, you know, so my grandma.

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Laura.
Laura Lewis McBride, is my

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great.
Great grandmother.

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The second wife of Peter, Howard
McBride, and so she You know,

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she chose that life.
She chose to be a second wife.

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She asked him basically and she
never complained, you know?

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And it was the life, she chose
and she loved it.

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And it's just interesting.
She's one of the few ancestors

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that actually told her life
story and so I have her story

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and I asked my grandma about it
though.

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I said, did you ever ask your
grandma about pulling me?

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And she said, she just said it
was a very special thing.

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She felt like a special thing to
be, you know, it's so

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fascinating.
Because a lot of times, right?

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And and I want to start here,
let's start with your guys's

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backstory and stuff and then
we'll work our way up from there

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but it that's that's fascinating
because So often we, you know, I

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I think back to life in two
movement, right?

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And what was what was the um,
What was the kind of the slogan?

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Believe all women, right?
Yeah.

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And except if that woman happens
to be coming from a certain

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perspective and which case she
has to be subjugated there's no

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way a woman could have enjoyed
her experience and plural

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marriage, right?
We know better that she must

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have been coerced and so I do
find it.

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And interesting kind of a
hypocritical stance, right?

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Believe all women.
Unless that message isn't like

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those folks on the left want to
hear.

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So, so Joanie what we'll start
with Joni and then we'll move to

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Corey here real quick.
So I feel like Yeah.

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That was part of my motivation
to come on is, we're hearing all

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this, like, feminist anti
patriarchy stuff.

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And I have an interesting story
in relation to that.

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So, you know, I grew up in
probably the perfect Mormon

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home, you know, two parents mom
stayed at home.

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And raised us, we were
homeschooled very, you know,

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very conservative, Christian
background and family home

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evening, everybody.
Yeah, pretty my family was

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pretty strict about out
scripture study and like what

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movies we watched and you know
very wholesome and good and you

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know, so Monday Night, Football
never got mixed in there as part

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of family home evening.
I mean that's what we did around

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our place.
So I was neither unfortunately

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and I guess fortunately that I
married Corey instead of

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somebody who loves football.
I I'm like football kind of

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wasn't a thing in our household.
Oh, I'll tell you what I

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stretched it.
I'm not gonna lie my time in the

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church.
I absolutely stressed it

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stretched.
It like, I tell the kids, well,

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you see the Chicago Bears,
they're like they're like

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Lucifer in his hordes but then
you have the, the ultra virtuous

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Green Bay Packers who are here
to defend that but it never

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translated.
Well at church when the kids

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would would talk that way for
some reason.

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But so you're you're joining
your growing up in a very um, I

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shouldn't say strict, but a very
um, structured home with the

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gospel right now.
Growing up.

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You just talked about your
grandma.

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Did you hear about that as a
child?

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Is that something you learned
about later?

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As an adult like when?
Um, and it was interesting in

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church today a woman got up and
Border testimony about her

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Pioneer ancestors who were in
Mexico, like corn, Colonial,

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Juarez area or Colonial Garcia
where, you know, the Mormons

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went when polygamy became
illegal in the United States so

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that their families wouldn't be
separated.

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And she mentioned that her
grandma was six when they were

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kind of kicked out of Mexico
when Ponte via came through.

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And so they came back across the
border and my grandma, my great

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grandma was the same age.
One of my great grandma's that

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that happened and so she would
share her stories and she left

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to be about 100 and one more
103.

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So she was, you know, she was
quite the Centurion and she had

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memories of that, you know,
being like, Kind of in the

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immigration camps or whatever,
on the side of the border and

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people coming to see the Mormons
and she said they were checking

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because they heard that Mormons
had horns on their heads, so

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they're yes trying to find out
if we had for the horns.

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And so, she remembered that as a
little girl.

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And so, anyway, that so I was
like, well, I should look back

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in my family history and I
noticed, well, because I was

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like, well, what were her
parents doing in, you know,

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Mexico in the first place where
they bullied missed or were they

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one of the polygamous ancestors
that I have?

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I had a lot of polygamous
ancestors actually, so I looked

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back and and my ancestral line
is from the first wife and they

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had 13 kids together.
And, and her dad actually died.

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Really, young Hebrew man asked
the cloth Juniors.

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His name or senior one of them
and he had a second wife, but I

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was scratching my head at the
date.

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I mean they would have been in
Mexico at this time, of course,

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but it was 1898.
So I was like, oh, You know, if

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you go back to some of David's
other podcasts about the post

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Manifesto, polygamous sounds
like, oh, there it is right in

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my family.
They were never excuse or

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anything.
As far as I know, people don't

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take into account.
Just how ready will for Woodruff

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was to say one thing and do
another, right?

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He was not going to let that
thing just die.

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Now, they had to take some
inventive steps to get it done.

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But nonetheless, they got it
done.

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And I think it's interesting
like People forget that a couple

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things right like the
descendants of those folks who

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either went down to.
The colonies went to Canada or

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even just stayed on the down low
in in the states they had a lot

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of children, right?
And People forget Mitt, Romney's

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Mitt, Romney is descended from
those folks, who went down to

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the colonies, right?
Like we almost had a president

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that um, was a descendant.
Of people who practice plural,

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marriage.
Like it's it's not that far and

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the other thing is It really was
that long ago, right?

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We tend to think it was a long
time ago, feels like a long time

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ago, but it's really not.
I remember I was listening to a

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comedian once he had this great
bit and he was talking about how

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How things aren't as far removed
as what they think and one of

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the things he said is like okay
personal lives to 80 or 100.

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That's one person ago.
Right.

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That's that's like one person to
go and it reminds me of another

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story.
I got a call from a gentleman,

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once when I was living in Utah,
after I started the podcast,

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He's like, hey, I don't want to
go, I don't want to be recorded

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and published but I got some
history, you might be fascinated

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and so I'm like, sweet, you
know, I'm always down for that.

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Let's, let's have time to talk
and we did.

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And he told me that he had
either grandparents or

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great-grandparents as early as
like as late as like, the mid

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60s, who were living out in the
open as polygamists, in their

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Provo award.
And I thought there's no way,

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there's no way, but then I
started doing the math, right?

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Like the last man of festo, I
think comes out in 1903, 1904,

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if I'm wrong on these dates, I
apologize.

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But was the early 1900s, right?
So let's just say that throuple,

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if you will was in their 20s,
when they got married.

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They'd be in their 80s in the
60s, right?

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Not out of the realm of Of
possibility and likelihood.

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And so this is not as far
removed as what people tend to

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think it is.
Right?

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And part of my reason for coming
on to this podcast and saying

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this, you know, as an LS member
is that You know, in India to

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try and understand Joseph Smith
in his look at me, we're kind

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of, you know solely their their
name and we bring up this like

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oh well if it's not a legitimate
legal marriage, it's Adult Swim.

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It's adultery.
And you know I actually work

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with attorneys and what most
people don't realize.

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So so you know, so If our
ancestors were married by the

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proper Authority.
That's one thing that we should

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honor and cherish them.
And if you think break off

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groups, don't have the proper
Authority.

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That's one thing.
But you want to talk about legal

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matters.
Did you know that at every state

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has something called a common
law marriage and if you stay

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together, long enough, you're
considered married by the by the

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law.
Even if you didn't go through

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the normal legal steps of
marriage, you know, and it's the

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same thing with property
ownership, there's a point where

223
00:13:36,300 --> 00:13:38,600
ownership you know, they say is
9/10 of the law.

224
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:43,400
That's where that comes from.
There's a point in law, where By

225
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,200
defective you become an owner,
you become married, because

226
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,200
guess what you had kids
together.

227
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,300
You're committed, you're staying
together, you're providing for

228
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:57,000
those kids and the loss supports
that and it should support that.

229
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,900
Absolutely.
Yeah, no it it's it's gonna be

230
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:07,300
interesting in the near future,
I think because As Society

231
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:11,100
continues to question, social
mores and that sort of thing.

232
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,100
Plural, marriage is going to
come up.

233
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:17,000
It already has right.
Like It's just a matter of.

234
00:14:18,300 --> 00:14:21,400
Will they accept it from kind of
the right side of the spectrum,

235
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:24,500
right?
Look, Mormon fundamentalist tend

236
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:28,900
to be pretty conservative in
their views and in their in the

237
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:32,200
way they live life.
And what I've noticed is that

238
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,600
there's a definite double
standard that happens.

239
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,900
And to point this out, there was
an article, I want to say either

240
00:14:38,900 --> 00:14:42,400
from The New Yorker or like, the
back page of the New York Times

241
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:47,900
a couple years back that had Had
three guys.

242
00:14:48,900 --> 00:14:53,600
Together.
Like biblically together, um,

243
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:59,500
raising a kid, right?
And um, the the news article was

244
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:02,300
like, oh these poor people, you
know, love is love and you know,

245
00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:05,200
whatever it is.
They're they're not recognized,

246
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,200
but us on this side of the
spectrum, we're not going to get

247
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,700
that same treatment because it's
in the guise of religious,

248
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:14,800
right?
Or more conservative side of the

249
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,400
spectrum.
So it will be interesting going

250
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,600
forward to see what ends up
happening on that front, but

251
00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,500
that's good stuff.
I really like that.

252
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:28,100
So, I was always a very studious
child and, you know, my dad,

253
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:32,000
since we were homeschooled, took
our learning seriously.

254
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:40,100
And so reading was a big thing.
Yeah, and so unfortunately,

255
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:44,700
probably Or maybe fortunately,
depending on how you look at it.

256
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,700
My my first exposure to like
church history, was Gerald and

257
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:51,400
Lund the work of the glory.
So yeah, we kind of talked about

258
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:57,500
that off off camera too, and
when those books came out, you

259
00:15:57,500 --> 00:16:01,700
know, I was probably like 10,
but, you know, I read fine.

260
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:06,800
So I was reading things probably
more mature than my age level,

261
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:13,300
and I would watch my sister's,
my two older sisters and my mom,

262
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:16,000
you know, a family of eight
kids.

263
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,900
I guess he only buy one copy
because it was a it was a fight

264
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:24,300
to get to this coffee.
I got my doorstep first.

265
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:25,800
I get to go and read this, you
know.

266
00:16:25,808 --> 00:16:30,900
And so I watched that and I
begged and begged, please Mom.

267
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:34,500
Can I read it too?
Please, can I read it too?

268
00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:40,200
And a lot of my, um, I'm gonna I
felt like, you know, growing up

269
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,300
I never really questioned Joseph
Smith as a prophet personally.

270
00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:46,800
So I feel like I always have
that as a testimony, but he came

271
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,500
alive to me in those books and
whether or not they're accurate

272
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,900
or not, I haven't even read them
back as an adult, you know?

273
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:55,300
But those those were very
precious times to me.

274
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,400
So, you know, so I got a hold of
the work in the glory, the first

275
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,900
volume they had already moved on
to other volumes.

276
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:03,100
So I could, you know, enjoy it
to myself.

277
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:06,700
But my 12th birthday the sixth
volume came out.

278
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:10,300
And so, you know, I'm very
young, very young.

279
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:14,200
I'm I'm still kind of hanging
out with one of my best friends

280
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,599
who still likes dolls and I
thought it was a little old for

281
00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:19,800
that at that point.
But, you know, with her, I'd

282
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:23,500
play with dolls and so I get it
like tea sets for my 12th

283
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:28,200
birthday along with the Sixth or
the, you know the last volume.

284
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:31,200
The work of the glory were
Joseph Smith is martyred, but

285
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:35,600
that book goes through polygamy,
through the Steve family's eyes

286
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,000
and I don't think that the seeds
are ever polygamists in the

287
00:17:38,008 --> 00:17:40,500
series.
I don't remember, but they have

288
00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:45,700
those conversations between the
sisters saying, well, you know,

289
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:50,800
think about it this way, if
you're Best friends.

290
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:54,500
Spouse died, I guess kind of
like a right.

291
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,600
Type marriage argument Pro for
plug me?

292
00:17:57,600 --> 00:18:01,100
Would you be willing to you
know, take them in?

293
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,200
Would you share your husband
when you put a face to it?

294
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,000
As in this is somebody that you
love and care about.

295
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:13,100
And You know, I remember going
to my mom and crying like why

296
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:17,100
did Joseph Smith have to die?
But those things kind of stayed

297
00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,100
with me and I always, I've Loved
history.

298
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,900
Yeah.
My studied a lot of philosophy

299
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:24,900
and history and college.
And I was an art major too for a

300
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,500
little bit.
And so I, I love reading love

301
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:32,600
history, I love studying.
I'm not I'd say I'm pretty

302
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:35,700
logically grounded.
I have a good sense of logic and

303
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:38,300
and learned that through my
study but I'm not necessarily

304
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:42,700
like a research or a paid
historian or anything like that.

305
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:46,900
But I have a I have a good depth
of knowledge or probably more

306
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:51,200
breadth than depth of generally
of history and so You know,

307
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:54,800
these are things that I loved
and, you know, going back to

308
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,000
that, that little girl, that
that shape to me, you know,

309
00:18:58,008 --> 00:19:01,300
learning more about our Pioneer
ancestors and stuff and I, I

310
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:06,700
learned it from more of the
traditional LDS to respect our

311
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:11,000
ancestors.
But my my great great

312
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,700
grandmother was definitely very
respect worthy.

313
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,700
They were simple folks, they
were farmers.

314
00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:18,800
They you know go back and forth
here in Mexico.

315
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,300
You know take turns with the
first wife as the armies or

316
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:28,700
authorities came through to try
and you know, Eradicate

317
00:19:28,700 --> 00:19:32,200
polygamy.
But so, you know, so I had, I

318
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:36,300
had just like a family history.
I was never embarrassed and

319
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:40,900
ashamed of it, and when I went
to college, I did have somebody,

320
00:19:40,900 --> 00:19:47,400
who was a polygamist go to that,
it was a little, like, Not

321
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,200
accredited college.
So it was really interesting

322
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:52,300
experience but we read a lot of
original sources like the great

323
00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:57,000
books back behind me and and so
that's where I met Taylor and

324
00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,600
Justine.
But I also there was all so a

325
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:04,100
couple polygamous that ended up
there and so I got to know them

326
00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:09,400
and one of the guys Sister came
and stayed with me and I asked

327
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,700
her everything, you know, I
offered to let her stay with me.

328
00:20:12,700 --> 00:20:14,700
I asked her everything.
So I was always kind of just

329
00:20:14,700 --> 00:20:20,400
curious as what you had you're
like, let me open up my home to

330
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,900
you and then I'll pick your
brain and find out about this

331
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:28,100
fundamentalist thing.
Yeah, so even growing up knowing

332
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:31,400
about it.
It's like Curious about about,

333
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,700
you know, the the break-off
groups, like how did they live?

334
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:38,200
What was pulling me?
Like, what how are they

335
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,000
building?
Zion?

336
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,700
And, you know, and she, she had
her head screwed on straight, so

337
00:20:42,700 --> 00:20:45,800
I don't know where she is now or
anything, but she was an Asti,

338
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:46,900
there.
She's her.

339
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:52,000
A her two mothers were sisters
that married at the same time.

340
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,400
And the advice that her parents
gave, her was like, look, Mary

341
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,200
one person at a time, get to
know each other first.

342
00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:04,500
And then, you know, bring in
someone after you guys are solid

343
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:08,700
in your relationship, and that
felt pretty like, not the Press

344
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,600
of abusive.
Type of advice, you would give

345
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,500
that seems like that seemed
reasonable advice to give a

346
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,300
daughter.
That was, that was where she was

347
00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:18,400
at.
She was engaged.

348
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:22,000
They were going to get married
and maybe someday have another

349
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,900
wife, but it was open for
discussion and they were gonna

350
00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:30,300
get their, their relationships
figured out first as newlyweds.

351
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:36,600
So, you know, so she she came
and went, but then years, Will

352
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,400
not yours.
Probably.

353
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:44,200
Just like the next year later.
I'm going back to its was George

354
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,200
with University.
George with college.

355
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:50,000
This little College in Cedar
City, which fantastic.

356
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,600
But can I ask a question real
quick?

357
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:57,200
Because I get the answer.
And, you know, I want to say

358
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:02,100
this, I I understand why.
Why a woman would feel this way,

359
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:03,100
right?
I'm not saying.

360
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:07,100
Plural, marriage is just easy
and, and, you know, everybody

361
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:09,000
should do it.
That's not what I'm saying at

362
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,600
all.
However, I would understand how

363
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:17,300
it could really.
Be a challenge for the Sisters.

364
00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:21,400
Oftentimes there's an ick factor
that goes along with that,

365
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,400
right?
And sometimes I think it's just

366
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,200
from living in Victorian you
know whether we like it or not

367
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,400
or whether we realize it or not,
we do still have a lot of

368
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:34,300
Victorian era sensibilities that
we keep in our society.

369
00:22:34,300 --> 00:22:36,900
And not all of those are bad.
I'm not saying that that's

370
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:40,700
always necessarily a bad thing,
but what Joseph is doing, isn't

371
00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:43,900
Victorian, right?
It is, it is harkening back.

372
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:47,800
So you never had an ick factor
with that, you were never like

373
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:51,700
gross, not, you know, never
never ever, you know, like

374
00:22:51,700 --> 00:22:59,200
animosity at all. so, Of being
LDS.

375
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,300
It's all, you know, growing up
your kind of like, well, am I

376
00:23:02,308 --> 00:23:05,800
ever going to have to practice
this, you know, especially I

377
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,300
mean now I'm a little more
mature and I'm like, yeah, the

378
00:23:08,300 --> 00:23:12,200
church is not gonna re-institute
at any time soon from what I can

379
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,200
see.
But, you know, but when you're

380
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,600
young, you're kind of like, will
I have to let that?

381
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,000
And I know a lot of women
experience this like, well, you

382
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,100
know, if my husband died, or if
I died, my husband marries

383
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:25,000
another woman.
We're automatically like

384
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,700
polygamists in the afterlife and
you know, and it gives him like

385
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,000
panic attacks.
And you hear that kind of from

386
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000
these left is feminists too.
And this is interesting because

387
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,500
this is like sick, way is right
into where I was going with

388
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,500
this.
So let me say this.

389
00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:43,600
So I think, every woman whether
She's gonna live in this life

390
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,400
the afterlife or just in the
exploration of her family

391
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:52,400
history or Mormonism.
Kind of has this like You know,

392
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,900
question like could I live?
It is the question, you know,

393
00:23:55,908 --> 00:23:59,700
and you ask yourself that and
you're and you're like a lot of

394
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:03,300
women are like heck no.
You know, and the majority of

395
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:07,400
them and I think for me it's not
that it wouldn't be hard but it

396
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:12,300
was sad.
I already had. kind of like a

397
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:17,600
love of pioneer type women that
I for me, it was more of an

398
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:23,300
affinity with these women, then
with the idea of myself living

399
00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:30,900
it necessarily and, so, I'm
probably more open to it than

400
00:24:30,908 --> 00:24:33,400
most, but it's still kind of
more of a theoretical.

401
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,300
Not like, I'm planning to live.
It does that make more sense?

402
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:40,200
Oh, that makes that makes total
sense and look, I've said for a

403
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:45,100
while and I truly believe this,
that's as important, just as

404
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:48,900
important as quote, Living it,
right is getting getting the

405
00:24:48,900 --> 00:24:52,200
heart on board, which is always
hard, right?

406
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,900
Um, Right, right.
And so I I can only, yeah, I can

407
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:57,900
only imagine that.
So, I'm sorry to interrupt the

408
00:24:57,908 --> 00:25:01,800
story, but I just I had no, I
think that's a really good point

409
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,200
too, because I think a lot of
women, see the pygmy as like

410
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:08,900
this.
Abrahamic test of, would I, you

411
00:25:08,900 --> 00:25:12,000
know, give my whole heart to God
to the extent that I would share

412
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:16,300
my husband and that is a tough
question to answer and I think I

413
00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:20,200
think guys probably I mean, I
guess have other ways that they

414
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,100
would ask that question but it
is it is like that it's like

415
00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:28,900
this is it is a real sacrifice I
think. oh, I think it was a real

416
00:25:28,908 --> 00:25:32,700
sacrifice for our ancestors to
try and answer that question and

417
00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:39,700
I think I think that's kind of a
question that even my dad the

418
00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:43,900
way he taught us, you know,
religion was always like would

419
00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:48,500
you sacrifice you know what
other people's opinions are to

420
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:50,800
follow God.
And I think all of us have to

421
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:55,100
answer that question.
Outside of polygamy, too.

422
00:25:55,108 --> 00:25:59,600
Like we have to give our whole
Hearts to God and take, take go

423
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,000
with Heavenly Father wherever he
leads us.

424
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:07,000
And so, it's interesting because
I think a lot of women feel that

425
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,900
with polygamy, but it is what
we're here to do is and it just

426
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:13,100
give our whole Hearts to Our
Father in heaven and become like

427
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,900
him.
You're you're absolutely correct

428
00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:18,800
and I'll tell you what.
There are times that I have

429
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:26,500
looked at at my arm, my own um,
oh, Journey to this, right?

430
00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:29,800
And I remember really starts.
I remember, I was standing in

431
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,400
the font.
I remember I told God as As.

432
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,400
As the guy who baptized me
saying the prayer.

433
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,500
He says, I just say to myself
and and to God, you know, I'll

434
00:26:41,500 --> 00:26:43,000
follow you wherever you want me
to go.

435
00:26:43,008 --> 00:26:46,900
As long as I don't have to feel
like I do right now before this

436
00:26:46,900 --> 00:26:49,300
baptism, right?
If I never have to feel that way

437
00:26:49,300 --> 00:26:52,600
again, I'll do whatever it is.
You want me to do more or less

438
00:26:52,608 --> 00:26:56,500
story is be very careful what
you say you're willing to do.

439
00:26:56,500 --> 00:27:02,100
He said, he'll take you there um
but it's going.

440
00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:05,100
Yeah, no, totally.
I can I can totally get on board

441
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:07,600
with what you're saying there
about giving over your whole

442
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:08,900
heart.
But that's that's really what

443
00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:12,600
it's about, right?
And primary just one aspect of

444
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,900
that.
Alright.

445
00:27:13,900 --> 00:27:17,800
Alright, so back to my, you
know, my fascination with

446
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,700
polygamy, I guess I'd say call
it, is that?

447
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:26,100
So the next year's in college
which kind of prepped me for

448
00:27:26,100 --> 00:27:29,500
where I'm going with this, like
I didn't take the traditional

449
00:27:29,500 --> 00:27:32,200
Mormon woman path, I was single
for a long time.

450
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,800
Got married later in life, that
kind of a thing.

451
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:41,100
So and flashing back to high
school, my friends would be

452
00:27:41,108 --> 00:27:43,400
like, what do you want to be
when you grow up, blah, blah,

453
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,300
blah, blah.
And I feel like, I want to be a

454
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:50,200
wife and mother and then they
would be like, oh, you're gonna

455
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:53,700
be like the most likely to get
married right out of high school

456
00:27:53,700 --> 00:27:56,200
and boy.
I sure proved them wrong

457
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,900
because, you know, I I was not
Right.

458
00:27:59,900 --> 00:28:03,000
I I was not because of the way I
was raised.

459
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,000
I was not planning to have a
career.

460
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,800
I was not being a career woman,
you know.

461
00:28:06,808 --> 00:28:10,400
So I wasn't a traditional
feminist but life threw me kind

462
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,700
of in that where I, I wouldn't
call myself a feminist with the

463
00:28:14,700 --> 00:28:17,100
extreme.
Radical way that feminists has

464
00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:21,200
feminism has gone nowadays, but
yeah, I think women should be

465
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,100
educated.
I think they should live on

466
00:28:23,100 --> 00:28:25,900
their loan live alone before
getting married and get some

467
00:28:25,900 --> 00:28:29,600
skills underneath their feet and
you know, so I feel like I'm a

468
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:34,700
kind of a lies our snow more
feminist of let's have women

469
00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:37,200
more educated.
Let's have them making choices.

470
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,200
Let's Empower them.
And in those ways because of my

471
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:44,000
lived experience, but flashing,
back to college.

472
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:49,500
So I go back and now I'm
roommate with A and I'm like

473
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:52,000
probably 21.
I try to remember exactly how

474
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:57,400
old I was 2021 probably 21 yeah
26 year old, that's not married.

475
00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:02,200
And her older sister and two
friends and their The other

476
00:29:02,208 --> 00:29:05,300
girls all turned 30 while I was
living with them, which seemed

477
00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:08,000
old at the time.
And then, you know, there I

478
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:13,900
would be in the same situation
years later but that that they

479
00:29:13,900 --> 00:29:16,800
were the first ones that brought
up this idea of.

480
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:22,000
Well, you know, some feminists
think that polygamy is actually

481
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,800
the feminist ideal and I was
like, really what?

482
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,900
And that was so fascinating to
me.

483
00:29:28,900 --> 00:29:33,400
And that's where I've kind of in
preparation for this was reading

484
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,800
a few things.
And if you read feminist

485
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:42,100
articles, I want to actually, I
want to jump into the definition

486
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:45,100
of patriarchy because this is a
word that's getting thrown

487
00:29:45,100 --> 00:29:50,400
around right now.
With feminism with Mormons in

488
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,200
feminism, with anti-polygamy
group or polygamy.

489
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,900
Denial group that, you know,
it's like well, this decide what

490
00:29:57,900 --> 00:30:01,700
is patriarchy, what is the idea?
Because we called plural,

491
00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:03,900
marriage, patriarchal, marriage
at one point.

492
00:30:03,900 --> 00:30:09,600
Well, patriarch means the
fathers Um, but a patriarchal

493
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:14,100
society by a feminist definition
is one, where men have more

494
00:30:14,100 --> 00:30:18,500
power and to make that more
tangible and not this, oh we're

495
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:22,000
all victims and men are evil.
It's it's the men have the

496
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:27,100
control, more decision-making
power and usually that's being

497
00:30:27,100 --> 00:30:31,400
passed down in like Victorian
style of like father, son gets

498
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:33,800
to own property.
Women can't vote.

499
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,900
And that's what was so
fascinating about.

500
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:41,200
More recently.
I am diving into a few feminist

501
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,100
articles where they, they look
at that.

502
00:30:43,100 --> 00:30:46,900
They look at Eliza R, snow, and
Brigham Young's ligaments.

503
00:30:46,900 --> 00:30:50,400
And were they really feminist?
And they say, Well, they're

504
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:55,400
operating under the Victorian
era of patriarchy where the men

505
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,200
are kind of in charge.
But they really did open up a

506
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:04,700
lot of A lot of opportunities
for women, you know, you have

507
00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:08,600
Eliza ship, who goes back and
learns to becomes a woman.

508
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:13,600
Doctor, you know, goes back east
and these feminists are sharing

509
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:18,600
these stories about how
polygamous women and I can share

510
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,200
some screenshots if you want me
to dive more deeply.

511
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:26,300
Oh hey, I've already granted
permission so you should be

512
00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:29,400
ready to rock.
Yeah, we're polygamous.

513
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:36,200
Women actually are challenging,
the Victorian era, type ideas of

514
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:41,300
women should stay at home and
it's it's not lady like to be

515
00:31:41,300 --> 00:31:45,400
working.
So, Joan Iverson, feminist,

516
00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:50,800
implications of Mormon polygeny,
which is the accurate word for

517
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,300
Polygamy.
And are we sharing our screen

518
00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:55,200
recording?
You just?

519
00:31:55,200 --> 00:32:00,200
Yeah yeah.
Okay you just hold it up. so,

520
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:04,700
there's There's a little green
button at the bottom that says,

521
00:32:04,700 --> 00:32:09,300
share if you just click on that.
Gotcha we got a blue I think

522
00:32:09,300 --> 00:32:12,300
I've got that one.
So it's really fascinating and

523
00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:15,600
she's You know, the conundrum
for feminists is that

524
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:21,100
technically any religion and
monogamy is also patriarchal so

525
00:32:21,100 --> 00:32:25,000
that's I guess part of my pet
peeve and my goal in sharing.

526
00:32:25,008 --> 00:32:29,200
This is is there's a lot of
liberals right now who are

527
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,800
Mormon feminists who wants us
use this word to only talk about

528
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:37,400
how men are abusing women which
I think is a real thing that

529
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:38,900
happens in the church
unfortunately.

530
00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:43,000
And there's things that could
protect women against that, that

531
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000
should be done.
That the church doesn't do.

532
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,300
But the but the real thing is
the word patriarchal in a

533
00:32:49,308 --> 00:32:53,100
feminist sense.
Even monogamy is patriarchal

534
00:32:53,100 --> 00:32:57,400
because the man that the
household and even religion

535
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,000
because of the way religion has
been structured for years has

536
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:04,100
been like, you know, the fathers
and the everyone's more in

537
00:33:04,100 --> 00:33:07,700
charge than the women.
And when you start to look at

538
00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:12,800
Mormonism to me like we have
Joseph Smith sets up Relief

539
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:17,200
Society, a woman's organization.
So I mean that's very unusual.

540
00:33:17,200 --> 00:33:19,700
For that time.
You've got Brigham Young sending

541
00:33:19,700 --> 00:33:25,000
these women back east, from
Eliza Arsenal's bidding saying.

542
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,100
Hey look, we've got high
mortality rate out here, baby.

543
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:31,700
Start dying back East to become
midwives and doctors.

544
00:33:31,700 --> 00:33:37,000
And anyway, so in this article,
she talks specifically about how

545
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:42,400
women Part of the Victorian
angst against polygamy during

546
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,100
the time and reason they went
after these women was because

547
00:33:45,100 --> 00:33:49,000
they were working outside of the
home in traditional male roles.

548
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:53,100
Like, It was the frontier.
They had to take care of the

549
00:33:53,100 --> 00:34:00,000
army then and when women well
let me go through if I just

550
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:00,900
click.
Yes.

551
00:34:00,900 --> 00:34:06,300
Um, So the Utah women's defense
of polygamy, rooted both in

552
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:08,500
Mormon Theology.
And the ideals of the larger

553
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:11,300
societies view of Victorian
Womanhood was mounted in the

554
00:34:11,308 --> 00:34:13,699
face of a strident anti-polygamy
attack.

555
00:34:13,699 --> 00:34:18,500
So a lot of a lot of modern
feminists will discount.

556
00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:22,800
The idea that these women had
feminist ideals from the

557
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:27,400
standpoint that they think Corey
there that's bigger that they

558
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,400
they were just doing this from a
defensive standpoint, so

559
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:33,900
therefore you should listen to
their voices once again going

560
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:36,500
back to this, we're going to
Discount their so she's been

561
00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:41,900
pretty honest as saying that
even though there's goal for

562
00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:48,500
feminism is under the religion
that we view as patriarchal that

563
00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:53,300
it's a lot more complex, how
what the relationship was and

564
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:56,300
for those who don't know,
another thing that's fascinating

565
00:34:56,300 --> 00:35:03,100
is that And this the federal
legislation against slavery

566
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:07,400
polygamy was kind of like the
two evils at the time that they

567
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:09,700
were trying to eradicate.
The Republican party was

568
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:14,400
Actively against slavery.
And they polygamy was the same

569
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:15,800
thing.
He was a different kind of

570
00:35:15,808 --> 00:35:17,900
Slavery to them.
I think they call them the twin

571
00:35:17,900 --> 00:35:22,500
Barber's.
Mm-hmm slavery and and plural

572
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:25,400
marriage.
And because of that, it made

573
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,900
strange bedfellows with people
that you wouldn't think, would

574
00:35:28,900 --> 00:35:32,500
normally join causes and one of
those was the National Woman

575
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:38,400
Suffrage Association and yeah.
And so here we have Utah, where

576
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,100
women get the right to vote.
And some people seem to think

577
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:43,300
that, well, if we give these
women, the right to vote,

578
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:47,400
they'll get rid of, they'll get
rid of the oppressive polygamy

579
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:51,200
that, yeah, the men who are
forcing them into, you know, the

580
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:55,800
sex kind of kind of a thing
where they're just oppressed

581
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,000
over there.
And they're just collecting

582
00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:02,000
wives and control certain
backfires that happen in history

583
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,700
that I enjoy watching.
One is when England sends over

584
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:13,400
Georgia, Oh gosh.
Whitfield sends over George

585
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,600
Whitefield because he's a
problematic preacher.

586
00:36:16,300 --> 00:36:19,900
To the colonies because he keeps
talking about, you don't have to

587
00:36:19,908 --> 00:36:22,200
have a king.
You can go straight to God that

588
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:26,300
backfired, this one kind of
backfire too and not quite as

589
00:36:26,300 --> 00:36:28,900
dramatically but it absolutely
did.

590
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:33,200
And and to your point about kind
of strange bedfellows where I

591
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:35,200
think we're in that time again,
right?

592
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:40,300
Because like I look at feminism
and I think by and large it's

593
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:44,900
been hijacked by crazy, right?
However, I don't think you can

594
00:36:44,900 --> 00:36:47,200
just count what Joseph does,
right?

595
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,500
Joseph is radical in his views
for that time in Christianity,

596
00:36:51,500 --> 00:36:53,300
you know, let's just start with
the eve.

597
00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,400
She, it's not her fault, the
world, as the way it is.

598
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,800
We owe her a debt because she
particular fruit on.

599
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:05,800
Likewise she is capable of
deficient, just like a man and

600
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,900
indeed, a man can't go where he
doesn't where he wants to go

601
00:37:08,900 --> 00:37:11,300
without being married to a
woman, right?

602
00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:14,500
You have the relief society, and
if you want to go down a deep

603
00:37:14,508 --> 00:37:19,800
Rabbit Hole, the teaching on
women, in the priesthood from

604
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:25,400
After certain ordinances are is
absolutely incredible, and so

605
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,900
kind of the, the old traditional
model of that.

606
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:31,600
I think we're seeing it again,
right?

607
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:36,100
As women as men, have invaded
women's sports, it's like now I

608
00:37:36,100 --> 00:37:39,500
find myself like Crap, the
feminist has a point, right?

609
00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:43,400
Like we're kind of in this
together, it's these things tend

610
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,400
to go in Cycles, right?
They're not linear.

611
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:47,700
And I think we're seeing another
one.

612
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,600
Come around.
Sorry to interrupt again.

613
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,500
Joni.
Oh, no, that was perfect.

614
00:37:51,500 --> 00:37:54,400
Exactly along the lines of my
thoughts, for sure.

615
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,100
And so, yeah, they joined
forces.

616
00:37:57,100 --> 00:37:59,800
Interesting to people like
Harriet Beecher Stowe, which

617
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:04,300
loved I loved her book but you
know, she was very much against

618
00:38:04,300 --> 00:38:06,500
this whole Mormon polygamy
thing.

619
00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:08,200
I go ahead and change it to the
knights one.

620
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,300
Um, let's see what this one.
Oh, this one and this is funny.

621
00:38:11,300 --> 00:38:16,100
So, you know, those Victorian
women were mad because the women

622
00:38:16,100 --> 00:38:19,800
were Often listed as heads of
household.

623
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:25,100
And in the next slide I think I
think just skip to the next

624
00:38:25,100 --> 00:38:27,200
flight.
You know, these are kind of more

625
00:38:28,700 --> 00:38:30,800
In-depth than we need to go.
Probably.

626
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:39,000
Let's see.
So the feminists would argue for

627
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,700
more useful spheres, I don't
know.

628
00:38:40,700 --> 00:38:42,100
Is this not going in quite in
order?

629
00:38:42,107 --> 00:38:44,200
I'm not sure.
That's number five.

630
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:44,700
Okay?
Yeah.

631
00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:49,100
Anyway you can stay there and
all read it in a second but But

632
00:38:49,100 --> 00:38:54,800
the when I was hoping what's get
to is that these are great but

633
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:59,500
they're not the same topic was
that these women has had the

634
00:38:59,500 --> 00:39:03,400
household were starting to own
property and that upset the

635
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,200
Victorian women and it's like,
wait a second.

636
00:39:06,207 --> 00:39:10,200
If what are these feminists back
east fighting for if it can't

637
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:13,900
be, that women can own property
and be educated.

638
00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:17,500
And so this one's, this one's
just more talking about how they

639
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:24,900
Opened up, you know, the the
Victorian concept of female

640
00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:27,700
delicacy, I like I'm too
delicate to go to work.

641
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:31,100
I shouldn't be suntanned.
I shouldn't have any physical

642
00:39:31,100 --> 00:39:34,400
labor.
I can do, you know, I can go out

643
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:39,400
and do.
Charity work for charitable,

644
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:44,200
charitable organizations, but I
can't demean Myself by working

645
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:48,300
and that was part of what they
were mad about the women.

646
00:39:50,100 --> 00:39:54,900
These. feminists Mormons and in
Brigham Young thyme or is there

647
00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:59,600
they were You know, proud to
decide for themselves and not be

648
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,400
held back by what Society said
was improper.

649
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,600
You know that they will know a
1000 times better than a man

650
00:40:05,607 --> 00:40:10,900
what what their skills and
talents are and so flashing back

651
00:40:10,900 --> 00:40:15,300
to college again and actually,
this was the Community College

652
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:17,700
here.
So this was, when I was still in

653
00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:23,000
high school, there was an
article said, every woman needs

654
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,900
a wife.
And she was a feminist and she

655
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:32,800
was arguing that.
If we're going to define the

656
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:39,300
1950s housewife role, women, if
we're gonna Define woman's role

657
00:40:39,300 --> 00:40:42,800
as simply cooking cleaning and
changing diapers, then hey,

658
00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:45,900
everyone working woman, also
needs a wife.

659
00:40:45,900 --> 00:40:48,800
Yeah.
And, and interestingly enough,

660
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:52,500
you know, my mother's from
Germany and we have eight

661
00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:55,700
children in our family, just
like Joni and my mother

662
00:40:55,700 --> 00:40:57,900
actually, you know, made the
comments several times.

663
00:40:57,900 --> 00:41:01,200
Oh, it would be so great.
If we had another wife, you

664
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:03,900
know, my dad kind of, you know,
didn't really have much to say

665
00:41:03,900 --> 00:41:07,000
about anything, but my mother
really genuinely thought that

666
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,200
that would be a great idea.
And she welcome to the idea and

667
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:13,000
just thought, you know, too bad.
That's not part of the church

668
00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,700
teaching right now kind of a
thing.

669
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:20,100
And that's a lot of this article
that Joan Iverson focuses on

670
00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:22,400
which the next slides will go
into a little bit.

671
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:27,800
Is The Sisterhood that these
Sister Wives have had and like,

672
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,900
how feminists and Progressive
those were?

673
00:41:30,900 --> 00:41:33,600
But to me, I just read that and
think of these heart touching

674
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:38,900
stories and how how touching
they are and she gets into how

675
00:41:38,900 --> 00:41:43,800
the Romantic idea of the
Victorian era was part of the

676
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:46,900
reason.
Why polygamy was so distasteful,

677
00:41:46,900 --> 00:41:51,200
is it destroys your traditional
ideas of romance?

678
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:54,600
But I would say, monogamy, you
have to root out some of those,

679
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,600
even to be in a healthy
relationship with the one person

680
00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,300
too.
Because, guess what?

681
00:41:59,300 --> 00:42:04,600
It's not all.
Going out to eat and whine and

682
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:09,800
dying and and all that, you mean
the Disney princess shows?

683
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:13,200
Light, it's not just happily
ever after they're still work.

684
00:42:13,900 --> 00:42:16,600
Right.
And like we were saying on a

685
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:23,000
conversation, early or Dave.
Gosh, the State president said

686
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,300
something to the effect that
will women nowadays have more

687
00:42:26,308 --> 00:42:30,600
choices for marriage and
speaking to another part of my

688
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:33,700
story being single.
I guess I should, I could flash

689
00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:36,400
into that.
Yeah, go back and pick that up.

690
00:42:36,400 --> 00:42:38,400
I think that's valuable for sure
Joni.

691
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:43,900
So um, so I was single for many
years and so I taught at a

692
00:42:43,900 --> 00:42:46,200
private school or great
experience.

693
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,200
I worked with troubled youth,
great experience.

694
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:53,600
I was in Colorado for little bit
so I kind of hopped around

695
00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:56,600
trying to figure out.
Okay, well, you know, I'm I

696
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,700
didn't really worry about it
when I was in college.

697
00:42:58,700 --> 00:43:00,700
So, you know, I was like, well,
I'm in college.

698
00:43:00,700 --> 00:43:03,200
I've got my studies.
I loved it.

699
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:08,800
I felt like it.
Liberated me as a person to just

700
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:12,400
understand more like, what I
believe, not just what my family

701
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,700
had taught me just by reading
like the great books and having

702
00:43:16,700 --> 00:43:20,200
discussions and and, you know,
just fighting more where I land

703
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,700
on things and being able to
argue multiple sides of an issue

704
00:43:23,700 --> 00:43:27,300
from a logic standpoint.
So that, that feel me as a

705
00:43:27,300 --> 00:43:29,400
person.
But then once I was done with

706
00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,500
college, I kind of hit me.
I was like, okay, I'm, I'm 25.

707
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,500
Kind of a Mormon old maid.
Now like what do I do with my

708
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:39,100
life?
And I went to college kind of

709
00:43:39,100 --> 00:43:42,000
more for this idea of getting an
education.

710
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:47,100
So I wasn't Choosing a career.
So that kind of threw me through

711
00:43:47,100 --> 00:43:50,000
a little conundrum.
So I, you know, I worked

712
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,400
different jobs.
I had great experiences but for

713
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:57,100
years, it was really hard to
figure out what my place was

714
00:43:57,100 --> 00:43:58,300
because I wasn't getting
married.

715
00:43:58,300 --> 00:44:04,900
So as any LDS single woman would
do, I moved to Utah where all

716
00:44:04,900 --> 00:44:09,200
the single LDS people are?
And this is an interesting time

717
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:15,100
period because I moved to Utah
when I'm 26 but I'm still single

718
00:44:15,100 --> 00:44:20,600
at 31 and this is right when
they the church has a whole ton

719
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:24,300
of young single adults and
they're not sure exactly what to

720
00:44:24,300 --> 00:44:26,900
do with them.
So, there are having everybody

721
00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:31,700
meet in one building up at the
University of Utah.

722
00:44:31,700 --> 00:44:35,900
Every Sunday and everybody from
all over the valley is, you

723
00:44:35,900 --> 00:44:38,500
know, coming up and meeting
because they're like, look,

724
00:44:38,500 --> 00:44:43,700
we've got all these post 30,
whether it's a divorce, or whats

725
00:44:43,700 --> 00:44:47,000
going on, we thought of single
People, what do we do with them?

726
00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:50,000
So let's just like a big state
conference every day and there

727
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:57,300
was, like, five relief societies
and two priests Elders forms,

728
00:44:57,300 --> 00:45:01,000
but they were smaller than the
relief societies were even the

729
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:03,900
two?
So it was really easily a one to

730
00:45:03,900 --> 00:45:06,000
five ratio.
And then you, and then you look

731
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:11,800
at the guys who Had their lives
a little more together.

732
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:16,400
More marriageable from usually
in a woman who's getting older

733
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,400
and has put her you know feed
under her cell has been

734
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:23,300
providing for herself, has been
pursuing her education more.

735
00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:26,700
That's kind of like this weird.
Like these women are like well.

736
00:45:28,500 --> 00:45:30,800
I'm better off alone than half
you guys out there.

737
00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:34,300
So he these women, you start to
become a little bit more of a

738
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:36,300
feminist, and some of them are a
little too bitter,

739
00:45:36,300 --> 00:45:38,100
unfortunately.
And maybe a little too

740
00:45:38,100 --> 00:45:40,100
independent.
But you you at that point,

741
00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:42,900
you're pretty independent and
you're kind of like, well, I

742
00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:47,600
dream of having a Eternal
husband, and I want a family.

743
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:52,300
It's what I've always wanted,
but not gonna settle for

744
00:45:52,300 --> 00:45:57,500
something. you know, less than a
guy that at least has my

745
00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:03,300
education level and my And earns
about the same as I do.

746
00:46:03,300 --> 00:46:06,700
And so a lot of women have kind
of that that attitude, which is

747
00:46:06,700 --> 00:46:11,800
really, really fascinating.
So, you know, so then then the

748
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:15,000
dating pool gets even smaller,
and smaller, and smaller, and

749
00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:17,300
you're like, this is really, an
awkward.

750
00:46:17,300 --> 00:46:20,200
It was really not a fun
experience.

751
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:23,000
I would not go back to that for
the light.

752
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,200
Oh, that sounds.
That sounds rough, right?

753
00:46:25,200 --> 00:46:29,400
I mean, Especially from the
woman's perspective, right?

754
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:33,700
Because I mean look if it's
already two to one, I mean five

755
00:46:33,700 --> 00:46:39,500
to Five to one, right?
I mean, and as you were saying,

756
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:45,000
look, I'm well, I'm gonna be
careful as I say this here.

757
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:54,600
If your dude who's a Mormon.
At the age of about 30, 30, 40,

758
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,700
you gotta ask the question.
What's going on, right?

759
00:46:57,700 --> 00:47:02,400
Like, it's For a young man, it's
a Target Rich environment right?

760
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:07,000
Well, just put that way.
And and so those guys that get

761
00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:08,700
that.
Yeah, as you were saying, Joni

762
00:47:08,700 --> 00:47:10,800
maybe not the most marriageable.
Right?

763
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:15,400
And so that leaves that leaves
the women in in particular, you

764
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,800
know, where they where are they
going to do?

765
00:47:17,700 --> 00:47:20,700
Well, and for the guys who are
marriageable, I think it

766
00:47:20,700 --> 00:47:22,700
actually leaves them in a
predicament too.

767
00:47:22,700 --> 00:47:26,700
It's like, here we are, women,
we've got a biological clock,

768
00:47:26,700 --> 00:47:31,400
ticking and we're like You know,
like do I like ringing by the

769
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:33,600
neck.
Do I rookie in what what do I

770
00:47:33,607 --> 00:47:35,200
need to do?
To get a guy kind of a thing?

771
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:38,200
And these guys are like, I've
got all these girls giving me

772
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:39,700
attention.
What do I do?

773
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:42,700
How do I pick one?
You know, so it creates it

774
00:47:42,700 --> 00:47:46,000
creates a quite the conundrum.
And I think it's hard on both

775
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,500
sexes and I think it was, you
know, when you're single, you

776
00:47:49,500 --> 00:47:52,500
see it from your either, your
female or your male perspective,

777
00:47:52,500 --> 00:47:57,400
but it's it's rough for my guy
friends, too.

778
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:58,900
Some of them are still sing a
lot.

779
00:47:58,908 --> 00:48:02,700
It's it's rough for them too and
it's it's maybe rough in a

780
00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:04,200
different way but it's rough.
It's rough.

781
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:07,300
Let me ask this question before
you move on to tell us about

782
00:48:07,300 --> 00:48:09,300
what what your stake president
had said.

783
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,900
With that kind of ratio.
And, you know, look it's a big

784
00:48:13,900 --> 00:48:15,500
thing in Mormonism to get
married, right?

785
00:48:15,500 --> 00:48:18,000
It's huge.
It you know no other Christian

786
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:23,600
religion is as dependent upon
Federal normative behavior in

787
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:25,900
their theology than Mormons are
right.

788
00:48:25,900 --> 00:48:29,400
Yeah.
And and so it's it's a big deal

789
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:32,500
but running that kind of
competition was it hard to

790
00:48:32,500 --> 00:48:37,300
Foster like Sisterhood in those
words because And maybe I'm

791
00:48:37,300 --> 00:48:40,600
thinking about this with my guys
brain, but like if the roles

792
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,800
were reversed, oh, we're going
to fist fights, right?

793
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,900
Like we're gonna, we're gonna
we're gonna thin that hurt a

794
00:48:46,900 --> 00:48:49,300
little bit.
Did it create competition within

795
00:48:49,300 --> 00:48:53,200
those relief societies that made
it harder to find, like,

796
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,000
Sisterhood and unity.
In these things.

797
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,300
I think so.
I think.

798
00:49:01,500 --> 00:49:04,300
I've natural to be jealous, and
I think that's something that

799
00:49:06,200 --> 00:49:11,100
One of these quotes Fanny Sten
worth, I think is her name.

800
00:49:11,107 --> 00:49:15,000
She's one of the becomes the
next, Mormon polygamist.

801
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:20,200
And it goes around saying,
Trying to get things, passed

802
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:24,400
anti-polygamy saying how rough
it was to be a polygamous, Danny

803
00:49:24,400 --> 00:49:29,000
Stenhouse.
So she even she talks, she talks

804
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:32,100
about how love and jealousy are
synonymous and I think that's

805
00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:35,100
going to weigh too far, but I
think we all have a tendency

806
00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:39,800
towards jealousy and I think
Thankfully.

807
00:49:41,100 --> 00:49:49,100
I was always surrounded with.
Healthier relationships than

808
00:49:49,100 --> 00:49:52,300
that.
And I don't know, and I wasn't

809
00:49:52,300 --> 00:50:01,100
like um, I mean, I wasn't
horribly like I didn't have I

810
00:50:01,100 --> 00:50:04,000
mean, I guess you tell you have
a weird combination of, you

811
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:09,400
know, they're obviously there's
a lot of Perfection in how women

812
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,200
looks and a little bit of
pressure there.

813
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:15,800
And I always felt like I was
pretty more grounded in myself

814
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:19,700
esteem with at least with when
it came to looks like I'm I

815
00:50:19,700 --> 00:50:21,800
wasn't overly worried about
that.

816
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:27,200
I wasn't gonna go Get an eating
disorder over a guy, and I

817
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:31,200
wasn't like, horribly ugly or
overweight or anything like, you

818
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:32,600
know.
So I didn't have any, but that

819
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,300
was, what was funny to me.
What were frustrating to me?

820
00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:36,500
It's like, well, I don't have
anything.

821
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:42,200
I mean, maybe I Helped wise and
some of my politics maybe I'm

822
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:46,100
kind of particular about what I
want out of a guy.

823
00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:49,600
Like I want to be on the same
page but I didn't feel like I

824
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:53,600
was overly picky but it's hard.
It's hard to figure out, you

825
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:54,900
know, like when you're in the
mix of that.

826
00:50:54,900 --> 00:50:57,000
Like what do we do with all
these relationships?

827
00:50:57,000 --> 00:51:00,300
And I know girls struggled and
there were hurt her feelings.

828
00:51:00,300 --> 00:51:03,800
You know, sometimes it's like,
oh well I guess he was just

829
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:07,400
being nice to me when he said,
yes and took me on a date.

830
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:11,900
And, you know, it's it's hard.
It's, it's just a hard situation

831
00:51:11,900 --> 00:51:15,800
to be in and I think most of the
people I was around navigated it

832
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,300
the best that they could.
Um, but yeah, there was

833
00:51:19,300 --> 00:51:24,100
definitely some probably some
some jealousy cropping up and

834
00:51:24,100 --> 00:51:25,900
some territorial Miss among the
women.

835
00:51:26,900 --> 00:51:30,300
And, and that was one of the
things that I didn't like, like,

836
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:32,600
I wanted more.
The Victorian, like, the guy

837
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,600
chases me.
I don't have to go out and Chase

838
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:37,100
these guys, you know, it,
because it's like you're like,

839
00:51:37,107 --> 00:51:40,000
well, maybe I should be chasing
the guys then because maybe if

840
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,400
the guy knows I like him, he'll
he'll show interest.

841
00:51:42,400 --> 00:51:43,900
But it doesn't always work out
that way.

842
00:51:43,900 --> 00:51:47,000
And so you kind of end up taking
more of what people would say

843
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,500
the traditional masculine role
and being more assertive and

844
00:51:50,500 --> 00:51:53,500
having that backfire.
And so you almost experience

845
00:51:53,500 --> 00:51:57,800
what the guys experience of
those, you know, those Let Downs

846
00:51:57,800 --> 00:52:01,300
of gosh, he doesn't like me or
he said no to a date or you

847
00:52:01,300 --> 00:52:04,100
know.
So it's it's The rules.

848
00:52:04,100 --> 00:52:07,400
Nobody knows what their role is
and that was really confusing

849
00:52:07,400 --> 00:52:10,700
and part of its the generation
to grew up with a lot of

850
00:52:10,700 --> 00:52:16,800
divorce, you know?
And And broken families, and

851
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:18,900
then the feminist movement of
the 1980s.

852
00:52:18,900 --> 00:52:21,000
So they're not sure what the
guys down.

853
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:24,300
The girls aren't sure what's my
role, am I supposed to be chased

854
00:52:24,300 --> 00:52:28,800
or am I supposed to Chase and
you can see that playing out at

855
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,600
least for me that more so than
the jealousy aspect, that's what

856
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:35,100
was playing out as everyone's
just so confused about How do I

857
00:52:35,100 --> 00:52:37,200
even navigate this?
What's my role do?

858
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:38,900
I sit around and wait for the
date?

859
00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:41,400
Do I go out and ask like, what
am I doing?

860
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:46,200
Gotcha gotcha.
If we're done sharing the

861
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:48,700
screen, can we take that off?
Just because people will only

862
00:52:48,700 --> 00:52:51,300
see the the text up there.
Yeah.

863
00:52:51,300 --> 00:52:57,400
Um, and then You guys can.
Can bring it back up when you

864
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:59,700
need it.
So don't don't fit, watch, you

865
00:52:59,700 --> 00:53:03,500
can't bring it back.
So, all right, what as this is

866
00:53:03,500 --> 00:53:06,700
all going on.
Then what what is you mention

867
00:53:06,700 --> 00:53:08,600
your stake, president?
What's that all about?

868
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,300
Okay, he wasn't my stake
president, and this is

869
00:53:11,300 --> 00:53:13,300
afterwards.
So I I'm gonna give a little

870
00:53:13,300 --> 00:53:16,300
more backstory to and I'll try
and wrap perfect.

871
00:53:16,300 --> 00:53:18,400
No, you're good.
No, I did not remember.

872
00:53:19,300 --> 00:53:23,900
And it was nice because I was
pursued, I was blind and dying.

873
00:53:23,900 --> 00:53:26,300
He had two children, he was
mature.

874
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:32,900
He had a good job and he also
was a CIA agent and a Navy SEAL.

875
00:53:32,900 --> 00:53:36,700
So you're talking a guy who
teaches Jiu Jitsu and has some

876
00:53:36,700 --> 00:53:41,600
serious skills.
Very manly, very intelligent and

877
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,800
a great parent.
Yeah.

878
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:47,800
Hi caliber guy.
You know like so so, you know,

879
00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:50,700
so I find myself in that
situation of, you know, like

880
00:53:50,700 --> 00:53:54,900
gosh, do I marry outside of the
temple and hope it works out

881
00:53:54,900 --> 00:54:01,200
and, you know, go to church on
my own or do I And this.

882
00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:08,500
And so I ended it and, you know,
for me, I'm that was the right

883
00:54:08,500 --> 00:54:12,000
choice and for other women,
Maybe not, maybe it is the right

884
00:54:12,008 --> 00:54:14,800
choice to to take that leap of
faith.

885
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:19,600
But we had other things that we
didn't have in common that Corey

886
00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:22,000
and I haven't commented that I
am so grateful that we have in

887
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,700
common so that would have not
been ideal.

888
00:54:24,700 --> 00:54:28,500
So, looking back, you know,
definitely the right choice to

889
00:54:28,500 --> 00:54:31,500
have made as much as I have
respect him as a person, he was

890
00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:33,100
a great guy.
He is a great guy.

891
00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:38,900
So With that in mind.
So this take president we're

892
00:54:38,900 --> 00:54:41,700
talking to and he's not mine
stake president, but he's

893
00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:46,000
saying, well, you know polygamy
back then it was the frontier.

894
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:50,600
It was necessary because they
needed to establish themself.

895
00:54:50,600 --> 00:54:54,100
So as a society and have more
babies and once again, we're

896
00:54:54,100 --> 00:54:58,900
kind of just over generalizing
marriage into the so it's just

897
00:54:58,900 --> 00:55:01,000
reproduction.
It's like no.

898
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,300
Marriage is a lot more than
that.

899
00:55:02,300 --> 00:55:04,900
And so that's the only reason
for polygamy.

900
00:55:04,900 --> 00:55:09,000
And nowadays is different and
Corey pipes up and says, how is

901
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,800
it different?
Because, you know, There's all

902
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:16,700
these women who are single that
don't have the opportunity in

903
00:55:16,700 --> 00:55:18,800
the church to get married.
What would we do about it?

904
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:22,600
Yeah, I'm just one second.
I just started exploring the

905
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:27,100
topic recently because Well,
online, it's become this big.

906
00:55:27,100 --> 00:55:30,200
Big thing polygamy, deniers did
polygamy.

907
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,000
Did Joseph Smith, you know, even
even talk about this.

908
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:35,700
Well, you know, we've had
several on the podcast who've

909
00:55:35,700 --> 00:55:40,200
who've said, hundreds of people
have have commented on Joseph

910
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,000
Smith, teaching me the principal
of polygamy.

911
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,300
So there's all of these
resources that are saying that,

912
00:55:46,300 --> 00:55:49,400
yeah, you know, this was taught,
you know, by Joseph Smith and

913
00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:51,900
then some, you know, are
critical of Brigham Young

914
00:55:51,900 --> 00:55:55,700
because he did this and there's
so much criticism and so much.

915
00:55:57,500 --> 00:56:01,300
Being said on this topic and
even, you know, in the church in

916
00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:05,000
in conference it was said that a
third of the sister's of the

917
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:09,800
church are single on are going
with out being married and that

918
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,600
I guess Spencer hood is going to
be okay for all of you who are

919
00:56:12,607 --> 00:56:16,800
doing your best, kind of a kind
of a conversation and that kind

920
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,800
of hit me to the core.
And I just thought well, The

921
00:56:19,808 --> 00:56:23,500
gospel as far as I understand
it, you know, it's God's.

922
00:56:24,600 --> 00:56:29,300
Work and glory and Moses 139 to
bring about bring to pass the

923
00:56:29,300 --> 00:56:31,300
immortality and eternal life of
man.

924
00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:36,500
And I have been reading quotes
by Joseph Smith.

925
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:41,800
And some of the early non
Scholars who have said that.

926
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:49,700
Basically, if you're the god of
anything, if basically, you're

927
00:56:49,707 --> 00:56:51,900
the god of anything, wouldn't
you be the god of your own

928
00:56:51,900 --> 00:56:55,600
children?
And if that is, it kind of

929
00:56:55,600 --> 00:57:00,500
connects the dots on the idea
that We're to become like our

930
00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:02,500
father in Heaven, because we're
literally his children.

931
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:07,200
And if you are a God that the
part of that godhood is having

932
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:12,200
big families.
So, having extra children would

933
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:16,200
be the greatest blessing that
towards being like your heavenly

934
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:18,000
parents that you could possibly
have.

935
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:22,200
So um being polygamist, having
more children in any way

936
00:57:22,207 --> 00:57:24,900
possible?
All of those things fit into the

937
00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:29,100
idea of being like God if if you
can have more of something,

938
00:57:29,100 --> 00:57:32,300
wouldn't you want that kind of a
thing and yet?

939
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:38,800
if you look at the statistics
on, men these days, which I

940
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:45,100
looked online, just kind of a
brief Google searches, I found a

941
00:57:45,100 --> 00:57:49,100
study and 20 23.
That was saying that only about

942
00:57:49,100 --> 00:57:54,100
41% of men will get married, you
know?

943
00:57:54,107 --> 00:57:58,100
And since 2023 which its
declining rapidly which it could

944
00:57:58,107 --> 00:58:01,200
be significantly less.
And then when I looked up the

945
00:58:01,200 --> 00:58:07,300
females Perhaps 90% of females
would be eligible for being

946
00:58:07,300 --> 00:58:10,100
married.
So that makes it if you were

947
00:58:10,100 --> 00:58:15,100
LDS, Conservatively, you would
be twice as many females are

948
00:58:15,100 --> 00:58:18,800
available to each male.
And when you look at the study

949
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:24,900
is, you know, five percent of of
men are cycle, paths, 5% or

950
00:58:24,900 --> 00:58:29,900
homosexual, 5% are criminals.
And and just so about 15%

951
00:58:29,900 --> 00:58:33,400
conservatively, would be, you
know, unfit for marriage or just

952
00:58:33,400 --> 00:58:35,400
be very poor choices for a
female.

953
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:40,200
And if you just look at the
dating, you know, at BYU, 80% of

954
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:42,500
the women are looking at 20% of
the men.

955
00:58:42,500 --> 00:58:48,200
So that's just a normal study
when I was when they had the

956
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:50,800
more you know the girls Choice
dance at BYU when I was there.

957
00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:56,000
I got asked seven times to the
dance seven times.

958
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,200
A lot of these girls they didn't
know each other so they were

959
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,700
just going to ask the guy that
they that they wanted to go to

960
00:59:01,707 --> 00:59:04,100
the dance with.
And so I had to turn down six of

961
00:59:04,100 --> 00:59:07,200
the girls and and it kind of
broke my heart because I just

962
00:59:07,200 --> 00:59:09,600
felt goodness.
There's so many wonderful guys

963
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:13,100
here. one of my roommates was
dating someone, so he was

964
00:59:13,100 --> 00:59:17,400
already taken but I had You
know, three other roommates and

965
00:59:17,400 --> 00:59:19,800
of them got asked.
And I got asked that many times

966
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:24,200
and that just it frustrated me
because I thought, oh, there's

967
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:27,100
so many great guys out there.
These girls could have gone with

968
00:59:28,200 --> 00:59:31,800
But that is kind of what I was
seeing in the dating pool and

969
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:34,700
then like Joni says, you know,
sometimes it's hard if you get

970
00:59:34,700 --> 00:59:37,200
asked that many times, you know,
how do you make make up your

971
00:59:37,200 --> 00:59:39,000
mind as a guy?
If you're getting asked

972
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:42,200
constantly as the guy that girls
want because you're a

973
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:44,900
competitive gymnast and you're
fit in your healthy and positive

974
00:59:44,900 --> 00:59:47,800
or whatever or you're just a
little more social have better

975
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:49,400
social skills that kind of a
thing.

976
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:54,900
Yeah, and so that's, you know,
that was interesting.

977
00:59:54,900 --> 00:59:57,600
So here, here he is.
He's just chatting about how

978
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:01,300
well pulling me back then it was
necessary because the different,

979
01:00:01,300 --> 01:00:04,300
you know, nowadays, women can
travel to go find a husband and

980
01:00:04,300 --> 01:00:08,700
I'm like, I moved to Utah.
I like this is where you find a

981
01:00:08,700 --> 01:00:11,200
Mormon husband, and it's still
took me years.

982
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:16,100
And, and in that word, there's
there were people from all over

983
01:00:16,100 --> 01:00:17,800
the world.
Like, there's the guy from

984
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,200
Australia, moved here, same
thing.

985
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,500
I just want to be here among,
you know, LDS people.

986
01:00:23,500 --> 01:00:29,600
So I can find a spouse and Yeah.
And he said and well they could

987
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:32,800
also marry people outside of the
church and I'm like oh what is a

988
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:36,700
second grown up my whole life
being told that Temple marriage

989
01:00:36,700 --> 01:00:41,000
is necessary for your Eternal
family and yes I do think

990
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:44,000
Heavenly father's very merciful.
So I mean if you're doing the

991
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:46,000
best he can and you remain
single for the rest of your

992
01:00:46,008 --> 01:00:48,400
life, he's not going withhold
blessings from you.

993
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:53,100
So I do believe that but still
it's just kind of like what are

994
01:00:53,100 --> 01:00:57,100
we going to start saying that?
The temples not that important

995
01:00:57,100 --> 01:01:00,000
because or Eternal Marriage, you
know?

996
01:01:00,008 --> 01:01:02,800
Are we going to downplay it?
Just because we've got this

997
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:08,300
problem of singlewood going on.
Anyway, I was just really sad.

998
01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:16,100
Yeah, he really mad.
It's like, you told me that

999
01:01:16,100 --> 01:01:19,000
while I was dating the
non-member, like that would have

1000
01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:22,300
been a mistake because we had
other things that just weren't

1001
01:01:22,300 --> 01:01:25,800
aligned but you know, but I did
love him at the time, you know,

1002
01:01:25,808 --> 01:01:30,600
I had let myself fallen in love
with him because He was the

1003
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:33,900
option and he was a, he was a
good option at the time, you

1004
01:01:33,900 --> 01:01:37,500
know?
So got it.

1005
01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:45,400
So so what point you meet me,
Cory then Actually we met at

1006
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:50,200
Lava Hot Spring when the eclipse
came through in 2017.

1007
01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:54,500
So August 21st.
And we were watching it in

1008
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:58,700
different places, but the guy
that I had a crush on, actually

1009
01:01:58,700 --> 01:02:03,300
he and his friends, I met up
with him after watching the

1010
01:02:03,300 --> 01:02:06,500
eclipse because they were
staying over in Lava Hot

1011
01:02:06,500 --> 01:02:08,800
Springs, I'm like, well I've
never gone and he's like, well

1012
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:12,700
yeah come so I kind of invited
myself, but we were friends.

1013
01:02:12,700 --> 01:02:16,500
So it was in a big deal.
And anyway, so we go to Lava,

1014
01:02:16,500 --> 01:02:18,600
Hot Springs, and Corey was
there?

1015
01:02:18,600 --> 01:02:21,200
Same, I did just waiting out the
traffic.

1016
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:24,300
Yeah, I went with my dad and one
of the neighbor's in my ward, we

1017
01:02:24,300 --> 01:02:26,500
would go on Temple trips pretty
much every week.

1018
01:02:26,500 --> 01:02:29,600
And, and this was just something
we decided we really wanted to

1019
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,800
go there for and be there for
this Eclipse.

1020
01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:37,100
So it was really very, and so I
walked in and I noticed he

1021
01:02:37,100 --> 01:02:39,800
notices me, which was
interesting because Corey's,

1022
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:42,500
super social and Corey when he
shares his story.

1023
01:02:42,500 --> 01:02:45,500
He's not the Molly Mormon that I
was.

1024
01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:48,900
So he's saying it out with guys
drinking beer, just chat with

1025
01:02:48,900 --> 01:02:52,700
them and girls of the bikinis
and, you know, that was not my

1026
01:02:52,800 --> 01:02:55,200
Style.
So I thought that was strange

1027
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:59,900
that he noticed me, walk in, but
apparently, he wasn't with that

1028
01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:02,200
group, he was just being so
social and because he came over

1029
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:06,500
to our group and made friends.
And then, my friends brother

1030
01:03:06,500 --> 01:03:08,300
came late and he's like, well,
who's this?

1031
01:03:08,300 --> 01:03:11,900
Guy's is your brother and Corey
says, no, I'm her boyfriend.

1032
01:03:11,900 --> 01:03:19,800
I was like, hi. so, but at the
time doing political classes and

1033
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:24,400
so I actually literally had guys
that were showing interest and I

1034
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:26,600
would just invite them to the
political classes that I was

1035
01:03:26,607 --> 01:03:30,000
doing because I was like, look,
either you're into me as I am

1036
01:03:30,000 --> 01:03:32,100
and the things that I am
passionate about or you're not

1037
01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:36,000
and Corey was the only one who
stayed the entire class pretty

1038
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,800
much.
So I was like, okay.

1039
01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:43,500
It's not just flirting, nice and
it was over from there.

1040
01:03:43,500 --> 01:03:45,900
You guys met that way, and then
it was off and running.

1041
01:03:45,908 --> 01:03:49,800
She was our teaching this
political class on the

1042
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:54,300
Constitution, and just how to
kind of hold government, elected

1043
01:03:54,300 --> 01:03:57,300
officials accountable for Less
taxes and less kind of

1044
01:03:57,300 --> 01:04:00,700
encroachment in your life.
And, you know, most of us kind

1045
01:04:00,700 --> 01:04:04,100
of feel like things are wrong
with government, but but we

1046
01:04:04,100 --> 01:04:06,100
don't really know what to do
about that.

1047
01:04:06,100 --> 01:04:11,000
And so, the organization she was
working for they were trying to

1048
01:04:11,000 --> 01:04:15,900
teach classes to help the public
can grasp Roots, folks, and

1049
01:04:15,900 --> 01:04:18,900
citizens, just learn how to hold
government accountable, and I

1050
01:04:18,908 --> 01:04:20,500
just thought the class was
fantastic.

1051
01:04:20,500 --> 01:04:24,500
And then, you know, I just
remembered that I had seen her

1052
01:04:24,500 --> 01:04:27,900
setting up in the capital Bill
building, you know, just setting

1053
01:04:27,900 --> 01:04:31,000
up a booth, you know, it the
capital, you know, a year.

1054
01:04:31,008 --> 01:04:33,900
So previously and I said, were
you wearing this skirt?

1055
01:04:33,900 --> 01:04:38,200
And and she said, yep.
And I remember just kind of

1056
01:04:38,500 --> 01:04:41,800
Airing at her thinking.
Hmm, what a neat girl.

1057
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:46,700
I hope I meet her and I just
totally wait on me and so how

1058
01:04:46,700 --> 01:04:50,000
fascinating that you kind of,
you know, connect the dots and

1059
01:04:50,008 --> 01:04:54,200
you had a later time we met
there, it um the Lava Hot

1060
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:57,100
Springs and then just really
connected over politics.

1061
01:04:57,100 --> 01:05:00,000
And you know, it's so important.
You know, when you look at your

1062
01:05:00,900 --> 01:05:04,900
Your closest relationships that
you you were aligned in those

1063
01:05:04,900 --> 01:05:09,800
ways that, you know, politics
wise and unbelief wise on

1064
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:14,000
constitutional principles and
you know, Health Nutrition kind

1065
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:17,700
of what you eat and just the
things that make you the core of

1066
01:05:17,700 --> 01:05:24,300
Who You Are.
If you. so okay, so that that

1067
01:05:24,300 --> 01:05:27,300
kind of Brings us brings us to
you.

1068
01:05:27,300 --> 01:05:30,000
Now Corey right we've got Joni
said of things.

1069
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:32,700
You born, a Mormon.
I mean, what?

1070
01:05:32,700 --> 01:05:35,500
What's your connection here?
How do you get to this spot

1071
01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:38,700
where you're at now?
Well I grew up in Germany.

1072
01:05:38,700 --> 01:05:44,000
So my first 10 years of growing
up, were very idealic.

1073
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:47,600
My dad was a branch president.
The oldest town in Germany

1074
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:52,900
Trier, incredible views of
castles and Vineyards.

1075
01:05:52,900 --> 01:05:56,000
Is that where your folks are
from my mother?

1076
01:05:56,000 --> 01:05:59,100
And my father's side are both in
parts of Germany.

1077
01:05:59,100 --> 01:06:04,000
But my father's name is Molloy,
which is full Irish and Molloy

1078
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:08,800
settled in New York.
So my both my parents, when they

1079
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:14,500
were 17 18 missionaries and then
heard the gospel and they both

1080
01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:20,100
went on missions, went to
attended BYU then met each other

1081
01:06:20,107 --> 01:06:23,300
and then they wanted to have us
children in Germany.

1082
01:06:23,300 --> 01:06:28,800
So they went back to where our
families from, in the smaller

1083
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:31,300
towns there, right by lips and
bourbon France.

1084
01:06:32,300 --> 01:06:34,700
And personal.
What was, what was the draw

1085
01:06:34,700 --> 01:06:36,300
about?
How having having you kids in

1086
01:06:36,300 --> 01:06:41,100
Germany, Um very much.
My father wanted to do a lot of

1087
01:06:41,100 --> 01:06:45,200
family history.
Um you know the genealogy of us

1088
01:06:45,200 --> 01:06:48,400
is people and that was
literally, he went to the place

1089
01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:53,100
that he knew there were some
ancestors for the molloys and

1090
01:06:53,100 --> 01:06:56,100
fascinating stories that they
have.

1091
01:06:56,100 --> 01:06:59,200
As far as teaching the gospel
over there, as a, my mother

1092
01:06:59,200 --> 01:07:02,800
served her mission in Austria,
ran around, while they were

1093
01:07:02,800 --> 01:07:04,600
doing The Sound of Music
filming.

1094
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:10,500
And she was on TV and did a lot
of musical Productions with the

1095
01:07:10,500 --> 01:07:13,200
sister missionaries.
So it was someone different back

1096
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:15,500
then, where they had, kind of a
lot of leeway and she kind of

1097
01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:19,800
traveled around seeing and
sharing him and things like

1098
01:07:19,800 --> 01:07:22,500
this.
And my father went to Bavaria

1099
01:07:22,500 --> 01:07:24,400
and so that's was his missionary
as well.

1100
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:29,500
But the very first town that
they moved to Baron castle where

1101
01:07:29,500 --> 01:07:32,600
I was born.
They invited the next door

1102
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:36,900
neighbors over for dinner.
And started talking to him about

1103
01:07:36,900 --> 01:07:40,300
the Book of Mormon.
And found out that we were

1104
01:07:40,300 --> 01:07:44,900
related.
And just those conversations,

1105
01:07:44,900 --> 01:07:49,400
just hit home, they did join the
church and their son, you know,

1106
01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:53,100
their whole family joined the
church, their son and I went on

1107
01:07:53,100 --> 01:07:55,800
missions together at the MTC.
So we were there at the very

1108
01:07:55,800 --> 01:08:01,600
same time, it just fantastic.
How that He changed so many

1109
01:08:01,607 --> 01:08:04,400
lives and my both my parents
have been very missionary

1110
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:07,400
minded, you know?
Pretty much since.

1111
01:08:07,400 --> 01:08:12,100
But Problems kind of started for
us once we moved to America.

1112
01:08:12,100 --> 01:08:16,100
Okay.
So you just to recap make sure I

1113
01:08:16,100 --> 01:08:19,300
got your folks are from America
but they wanted to go over to

1114
01:08:19,300 --> 01:08:22,600
Europe.
To go Germany back to where

1115
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:25,800
their missions were do,
genealogy, that sort of stuff

1116
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:27,500
and it's not working for the
airport.

1117
01:08:27,500 --> 01:08:29,200
Yes.
Okay.

1118
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:30,100
All right.
Perfect.

1119
01:08:30,100 --> 01:08:33,500
That'll make sense now.
So the first 10 years you said

1120
01:08:33,500 --> 01:08:35,200
are pretty idealic and in
Germany.

1121
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,700
Um yeah my mother.
Grew up in Germany.

1122
01:08:39,700 --> 01:08:43,399
So she can you emigrated during
World War Two.

1123
01:08:43,399 --> 01:08:44,899
And I've got a little story
about her.

1124
01:08:44,899 --> 01:08:49,000
That kind of interject, you
know, about, you know, what

1125
01:08:49,000 --> 01:08:52,100
happened with her.
That it's really, you know, an

1126
01:08:52,100 --> 01:08:58,100
inspiring story.
But once I came to America, the

1127
01:08:58,100 --> 01:09:02,700
idea was to come to Salt Lake,
the Holy Land because There's

1128
01:09:02,700 --> 01:09:05,100
the church influence here and
they went to BYU.

1129
01:09:05,100 --> 01:09:06,800
They just want to raise their
children.

1130
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:10,899
Instead of just having a small
Branch with Wards and stakes and

1131
01:09:10,899 --> 01:09:14,200
just lots of members everywhere
and they painted the picture

1132
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:17,899
growing up that, you know, just
so many members and things would

1133
01:09:17,899 --> 01:09:20,700
be very nice once we got to
America, I was kind of resistant

1134
01:09:20,700 --> 01:09:22,200
to it.
I don't think anybody really was

1135
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:26,700
all that excited about moving to
America. um, but I really wasn't

1136
01:09:26,700 --> 01:09:32,399
very accepted and My father's
work, he ended up leaving the

1137
01:09:32,399 --> 01:09:37,200
Air Force and trying to get work
and it became a stressful time

1138
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:39,500
for him and we were best
friends, I traveled to Europe

1139
01:09:39,508 --> 01:09:42,800
with him.
Did a lot of things spent?

1140
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,300
A lot of extra time with my
father.

1141
01:09:44,300 --> 01:09:48,399
That wasn't normal for most
parents and most fathers to

1142
01:09:48,399 --> 01:09:50,200
spend with their, their
children.

1143
01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:54,000
I was the oldest son, so he took
me with him almost exclusively,

1144
01:09:54,000 --> 01:09:57,000
which kind of build a little
resentment with my brothers and

1145
01:09:57,000 --> 01:10:00,400
sisters and ended up being one
of the reasons that I, I

1146
01:10:00,400 --> 01:10:02,500
struggled, you know, to live at
home.

1147
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:10,300
Well, I am didn't quite fit in
with the culture here and I, I

1148
01:10:10,300 --> 01:10:12,500
struggled just to be around
Mormons.

1149
01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:15,800
I ended up really being kind of
pushed away from the church

1150
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:18,500
left, the church, you know,
fairly quickly.

1151
01:10:18,500 --> 01:10:21,900
So by the time I got here at 10,
I was already struggling with

1152
01:10:21,900 --> 01:10:26,400
attending church.
Pretty much 11 12. and then the

1153
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:30,500
people I could, Relate to the
most were all other troubled,

1154
01:10:30,500 --> 01:10:34,400
teens and and youth that were
struggling with their home's,

1155
01:10:34,400 --> 01:10:36,100
and a lot of them were in a
drugs.

1156
01:10:36,100 --> 01:10:41,000
I ran away with them and ended
up getting, you know, chased by

1157
01:10:41,008 --> 01:10:43,900
the cops a bunch of times as
being a runaway and truant kid.

1158
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:51,400
Not really, you know, criminally
minded, but very strong willed

1159
01:10:51,400 --> 01:10:55,000
and because I would get an
arguments with my family and

1160
01:10:55,000 --> 01:11:00,600
brothers and sisters and we
fight at school, nothing felt

1161
01:11:00,600 --> 01:11:02,900
comfortable for me, you know,
during those times.

1162
01:11:02,900 --> 01:11:07,600
And I really pushed God away.
And church away.

1163
01:11:07,600 --> 01:11:11,700
They just weren't it seemed like
a lot of the people I went to

1164
01:11:11,700 --> 01:11:14,700
church with her Hypocrites.
They were angry at me because I

1165
01:11:16,600 --> 01:11:21,200
wore a different socks or had
different mannerisms or came to

1166
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:25,600
church late?
And so I just felt highly

1167
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:28,600
uncomfortable around Mormons for
a good while you got bullied.

1168
01:11:28,600 --> 01:11:29,600
I did.
Yeah.

1169
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:34,700
And what's that Joni?
I said, well, just say he was

1170
01:11:34,700 --> 01:11:36,700
being bullied as what was
happening.

1171
01:11:36,700 --> 01:11:38,500
Yeah.
Corey Cruise socks.

1172
01:11:38,500 --> 01:11:41,300
You're from Germany.
Yeah, I know, they were very

1173
01:11:41,300 --> 01:11:43,900
kind about a lot of those
things, and you would think, you

1174
01:11:43,900 --> 01:11:48,500
know, This is at church.
Um yeah, I didn't speak highly

1175
01:11:48,500 --> 01:11:55,200
of the folks there. and, I
basically got sent off to three

1176
01:11:55,200 --> 01:11:58,100
foster homes.
And every single one of these

1177
01:11:58,100 --> 01:12:01,600
foster homes that ended up
getting abusive physically and

1178
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:04,500
verbally.
And so I ran away from them and

1179
01:12:04,500 --> 01:12:07,700
I ended up you know, going into
Juvenile Detention a bunch of

1180
01:12:07,700 --> 01:12:10,700
times that was just kind of
usually a holding place for a

1181
01:12:10,700 --> 01:12:14,900
while.
One of the juvenile detention

1182
01:12:14,900 --> 01:12:17,400
places, guy named March a
letter.

1183
01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:20,200
I wanted to fight me and I said,
why would you want to fight me?

1184
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:21,800
I can do 200, push-ups, you
know.

1185
01:12:23,300 --> 01:12:26,900
And he says, no, you can't.
And I said, well, okay, I'll do

1186
01:12:26,900 --> 01:12:28,700
200 push-ups, and you can see
for yourself.

1187
01:12:28,700 --> 01:12:31,800
So I ended up just, you know,
cranking out, 200, push-ups

1188
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:34,000
jumped up and says, hey, you
still got a problem with me?

1189
01:12:35,000 --> 01:12:39,900
and he said no no problem and so
I ended up you know just

1190
01:12:39,900 --> 01:12:42,900
learning how to defend myself
getting in you know lots of

1191
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:47,500
fights and just ended up having
kind of a rough childhood

1192
01:12:47,500 --> 01:12:50,600
experiencing a lot of things
that really no kids should ever

1193
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:52,600
experience, you know, living on
the streets.

1194
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:55,900
Seeing drugs come in and out of
Salt Lake and cross the tuition

1195
01:12:55,900 --> 01:12:59,200
and just the abuse and tyranny,
that kind of goes on, you know,

1196
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:05,500
even in the Salt Lake area, but
one of my friends, Who I was

1197
01:13:05,500 --> 01:13:08,100
really close to it, you know, a
little Alternative High School.

1198
01:13:09,700 --> 01:13:12,200
He ended up talking to me about
God and religion.

1199
01:13:12,200 --> 01:13:17,100
He grown up, you know, his
family was LDS, but he didn't

1200
01:13:17,100 --> 01:13:20,700
believe too much in the church.
And he said to me, says you, do

1201
01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:22,600
you believe in God, choruses?
I'd like to.

1202
01:13:22,600 --> 01:13:29,800
I, I don't like going to church
because of the people and you

1203
01:13:29,800 --> 01:13:31,600
know, I haven't really been
reading the book of Mormon or

1204
01:13:31,600 --> 01:13:34,800
none of that has been important
to me the last little while and

1205
01:13:35,800 --> 01:13:39,900
He, our conversation really
stuck with me because it was

1206
01:13:39,907 --> 01:13:41,700
only a few months later that he
killed himself.

1207
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:46,400
And it just broke my heart
because this was a guy who was

1208
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:49,400
always, so kind to everyone and
was kind of the example in our

1209
01:13:49,400 --> 01:13:51,400
high school and treating people
very well.

1210
01:13:51,400 --> 01:13:56,400
His girlfriend had been abused.
He was being abused by his

1211
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,400
family and he disclosed some of
those things to me and he just

1212
01:13:59,400 --> 01:14:01,000
didn't feel like he could hang
in there anymore.

1213
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:04,000
And it really just broke my
heart.

1214
01:14:04,000 --> 01:14:08,400
Well, My family because we
weren't really getting along.

1215
01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:10,200
And I really wasn't living at
home.

1216
01:14:10,200 --> 01:14:12,900
Much of the time.
Foster home's, detention

1217
01:14:12,900 --> 01:14:19,100
ditching, School, My father had
experience attending the hill

1218
01:14:19,100 --> 01:14:23,500
Kamar pageant when I when he was
in college and thought why don't

1219
01:14:23,508 --> 01:14:27,200
we take a family trip to the
hill tomorrow and and actually

1220
01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:32,500
be in it that's cast members.
He asked me one day if I would

1221
01:14:32,500 --> 01:14:36,400
go with the family on this
family vacation and I I said yes

1222
01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:40,200
but my intention was just to
find a place to live somewhere

1223
01:14:40,200 --> 01:14:41,900
and just run away, which I ended
up doing.

1224
01:14:41,900 --> 01:14:45,700
I ended up doing that in Florida
and hitchhiked up to Virginia.

1225
01:14:47,500 --> 01:14:56,200
So, on the side of the road, I I
actually hid in a bush. and, I

1226
01:14:56,200 --> 01:15:00,000
ended up seeing a cop car, pull
in because I had knocked on the

1227
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:04,300
door of a bookstore, which
happened to be terrible and

1228
01:15:04,300 --> 01:15:09,300
Fiona Givens, place there and
Lynchburg Virginia. because, you

1229
01:15:09,300 --> 01:15:12,200
know, I knew that they lived
there and had, you know, Mom,

1230
01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:16,500
yes, relationship.
Because she lived, she lived

1231
01:15:16,500 --> 01:15:20,700
with, um, you know, Fiona live
with us for a while about you,

1232
01:15:20,700 --> 01:15:23,700
okay?
So why new of some of the people

1233
01:15:23,700 --> 01:15:27,300
that we, we had grown up with,
in Germany, and this was one of

1234
01:15:27,300 --> 01:15:29,800
them that I felt like, how at
least I'll stop here and maybe,

1235
01:15:29,808 --> 01:15:32,700
you know, get some work in this
town, but I thought the

1236
01:15:32,700 --> 01:15:36,900
impression to get out of the
bushes and and ask the office or

1237
01:15:36,900 --> 01:15:41,700
what he was doing, that was
straight crazy to me that I was

1238
01:15:41,700 --> 01:15:43,800
having this impression like go
do that because it's like he was

1239
01:15:43,808 --> 01:15:47,100
going to arrest me and I felt
like I needed to get up and do

1240
01:15:47,100 --> 01:15:48,700
that.
So I was like, okay, I don't

1241
01:15:48,700 --> 01:15:52,000
understand this, but it ended up
being the next morning.

1242
01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:56,100
My parents had drove into
Lynchburg and still asked me if

1243
01:15:56,100 --> 01:15:57,900
I wanted to participate in a
couple more pageant.

1244
01:15:59,200 --> 01:16:02,200
And I said, yes, but I don't
really want to associate with

1245
01:16:02,200 --> 01:16:03,700
you guys.
I don't plan on living with you

1246
01:16:03,700 --> 01:16:06,500
guys anymore, and if I have to
just go back to jail afterwards,

1247
01:16:06,500 --> 01:16:09,200
you know, till I become 18, and
that's what I'm going to do.

1248
01:16:10,500 --> 01:16:15,900
and, I decided that this was
going to be my opportunity to

1249
01:16:15,900 --> 01:16:20,400
really explore, what the LDS
church was about, read the book

1250
01:16:20,400 --> 01:16:27,100
of Mormon. and just Really.
Know for for certain whether I

1251
01:16:27,100 --> 01:16:30,500
should continue with religion in
my life or not, you know, my

1252
01:16:30,500 --> 01:16:33,700
best friend you himself.
I wasn't happy with my life.

1253
01:16:33,700 --> 01:16:38,100
I just felt a real emptiness.
I didn't feel close to my family

1254
01:16:38,100 --> 01:16:41,600
didn't feel close to anybody, I
felt very alone and very

1255
01:16:41,600 --> 01:16:46,500
heartbroken, a bit about what
I'd experienced.

1256
01:16:47,500 --> 01:16:53,300
And so I was very humble. and I
was paired with the guy there to

1257
01:16:53,300 --> 01:16:57,100
to go out and teach people about
the Book of Mormon and to play

1258
01:16:57,100 --> 01:16:59,100
different parks in the hill
tomorrow.

1259
01:16:59,100 --> 01:17:02,400
Pageant which they assigned me
to be a wicked priest, which was

1260
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:05,000
pretty appropriate because I
really wasn't going to church.

1261
01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:10,000
And I thought, you know, that's
really funny, but the pageant

1262
01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:12,700
directors, they had prayed about
this guy who was not even

1263
01:17:12,700 --> 01:17:16,600
active, which to me is like
crazy requirement.

1264
01:17:16,600 --> 01:17:20,500
Yeah, you, you're gonna have
active members participate in

1265
01:17:20,508 --> 01:17:22,100
this missionary experience.
You're not going to let

1266
01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:26,700
somebody, you know, show up as a
missionary to teach the gospel

1267
01:17:26,700 --> 01:17:30,800
who doesn't even attend church.
But they felt impressed to allow

1268
01:17:30,800 --> 01:17:37,300
me to come, which says a lot.
and, My parents and several

1269
01:17:37,300 --> 01:17:40,000
others, you know, heard about
me, not, you know, being a

1270
01:17:40,008 --> 01:17:42,500
little Troubled Youth and so
they were fasting and praying

1271
01:17:42,500 --> 01:17:45,200
for me.
But I told the guy I was paired

1272
01:17:45,200 --> 01:17:49,000
with who was just about ready to
attend a mission, I said to him,

1273
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:51,900
I said, you know, I really
struggle with just even being

1274
01:17:51,900 --> 01:17:56,200
around more man's and but I
really feel like I need to know

1275
01:17:56,200 --> 01:17:58,500
if I needed to be part of this
church.

1276
01:17:58,500 --> 01:18:02,700
And continuing with this, you
having the teachings the

1277
01:18:02,700 --> 01:18:05,700
Restoration in my life and you
know, whether God is really

1278
01:18:05,700 --> 01:18:08,500
going to intervene in my life
and that kind of thing and he

1279
01:18:08,500 --> 01:18:11,700
says, you're in the right place,
we're just gonna pray and, you

1280
01:18:11,700 --> 01:18:15,100
know, we're going to get some
answers for you. well, I was

1281
01:18:15,100 --> 01:18:18,900
there about three days and I
finally got to a point where I

1282
01:18:18,900 --> 01:18:22,600
was just frustrated because
After three days of praying

1283
01:18:22,600 --> 01:18:25,900
about 10 times a day, I felt
like, well, I should know

1284
01:18:25,900 --> 01:18:28,400
something by now.
You know, what do I do here?

1285
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:31,600
And I said to him, look, I just
got to know right now.

1286
01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:38,100
And this was you know, about day
three. everybody was kind of the

1287
01:18:38,100 --> 01:18:40,800
end of the day and we just went
and walked up on the Hill

1288
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:45,600
Cumorah and, Decided that was
the time to pray and get an

1289
01:18:45,600 --> 01:18:51,000
answer. and, Similar to what
happened with Joseph Smith, I

1290
01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:52,800
felt an evil presence in front
of us.

1291
01:18:52,800 --> 01:18:55,900
That was just the darkest and
scariest experience that I've

1292
01:18:55,900 --> 01:19:01,700
ever had in my life. and we
turned down the hill and

1293
01:19:01,700 --> 01:19:06,100
basically, just Started running
down the hill and then we got on

1294
01:19:06,100 --> 01:19:09,100
Our Knees by the very real real
quick.

1295
01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:11,800
I feel like we're just kind of
glossing over something that I'd

1296
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:14,500
like to explore here for just a
second and real quick.

1297
01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:17,300
How quick do you guys have to
get off this?

1298
01:19:17,300 --> 01:19:21,500
This we got another hour.
Okay perfect.

1299
01:19:21,500 --> 01:19:27,000
Um okay, so with you said you
you kind of encountered

1300
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:31,700
something dark explained to me
what that what that felt like, I

1301
01:19:31,700 --> 01:19:33,700
mean, did you see something?
Did you hear something?

1302
01:19:33,700 --> 01:19:35,900
Did you feel something?
Can you explain that a little

1303
01:19:35,907 --> 01:19:37,400
bit?
Yeah.

1304
01:19:40,200 --> 01:19:41,800
A person was standing in front
of me.

1305
01:19:42,700 --> 01:19:46,100
That was the most hateful, angry
being I've ever felt in my

1306
01:19:46,100 --> 01:19:50,500
entire life.
I've never felt so such

1307
01:19:50,500 --> 01:19:53,700
Darkness.
Such heaviness.

1308
01:19:54,300 --> 01:19:59,500
Such anger and hatred, and the
feeling of I was going to die in

1309
01:19:59,500 --> 01:20:01,800
one second.
Then I've never felt that

1310
01:20:01,800 --> 01:20:04,800
before, I've been robbed
multiple times.

1311
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:07,500
Before this point, I was working
in a restaurant, had a guy

1312
01:20:07,508 --> 01:20:09,200
pointing a gun at me the entire
time.

1313
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:12,200
And I just looked at him and
said, nice choice of guns.

1314
01:20:12,200 --> 01:20:14,800
You know, if I was gonna rob a
place that's exactly the one I

1315
01:20:14,800 --> 01:20:20,200
pick and I described the gun and
why and I had no fear of death

1316
01:20:20,200 --> 01:20:22,000
because I really actually wanted
to die.

1317
01:20:22,008 --> 01:20:26,500
You know, previously I
definitely had that feeling of

1318
01:20:26,500 --> 01:20:31,100
my life isn't happy and this
wasn't going anyway but this was

1319
01:20:31,100 --> 01:20:39,300
the greatest Heaviest feeling of
my soul was in trouble.

1320
01:20:39,300 --> 01:20:42,500
That I have ever felt in my life
by a thousand times.

1321
01:20:42,500 --> 01:20:46,800
It's almost hard to express the
depth of evil that I felt right

1322
01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:54,500
in front of me. um, so from the
bottom, my heart, I kind of ran

1323
01:20:54,500 --> 01:20:59,600
down the hill and pray to my
Father in heaven for basically

1324
01:20:59,600 --> 01:21:04,100
Deliverance.
Because in my mind I was over

1325
01:21:04,100 --> 01:21:08,000
with right then, with this being
whatever was standing in front

1326
01:21:08,008 --> 01:21:11,100
of me.
On.

1327
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:19,600
The spirit of the Lord, just
touched my heart. and I was,

1328
01:21:20,600 --> 01:21:23,900
Instantly filled with more love
than I've ever felt in my life.

1329
01:21:25,300 --> 01:21:29,400
The spirit of the Lord.
The love was just encompassing

1330
01:21:29,400 --> 01:21:31,400
the air about.
I didn't even feel like I was

1331
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:39,300
there almost Because I felt.
Like I was forgiven of anything

1332
01:21:39,300 --> 01:21:43,500
I've ever done.
And I just prayed I even swore I

1333
01:21:43,500 --> 01:21:47,300
I shared my thoughts from my
deepest heart about how

1334
01:21:47,300 --> 01:21:51,600
frustrated I was at the going to
church and being with my family

1335
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:55,300
and my parents.
And Henley father's told me it's

1336
01:21:55,300 --> 01:21:57,400
going to be okay.
I love you.

1337
01:21:57,400 --> 01:22:00,000
I'm here for you.
I'm gonna guide you.

1338
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:04,500
And it gave me hope for things
that I never would have believed

1339
01:22:04,500 --> 01:22:13,600
just moments before.
That kind of impression and all

1340
01:22:13,600 --> 01:22:16,200
these thoughts that were coming
to me directly from my family.

1341
01:22:16,200 --> 01:22:22,900
Father was just so overwhelming,
I I haven't really shared much

1342
01:22:22,900 --> 01:22:26,000
about this kind of thing with
just but a few people in my

1343
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,700
life, you know, just a couple
handfuls of folks where I've

1344
01:22:28,700 --> 01:22:31,800
given details to this because
it's such a special experience.

1345
01:22:34,300 --> 01:22:44,400
but, I think consolation is just
in 10,000 more, so yeah. but

1346
01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:46,900
you're talking about a guy that
just wondered if God even

1347
01:22:46,900 --> 01:22:52,500
existed just moments before, And
from my whole heart, I knew.

1348
01:22:53,400 --> 01:22:58,700
Here, I knew that God existed
and that he actually loved me

1349
01:22:58,700 --> 01:23:03,600
personally that he came there to
deliver this message to my heart

1350
01:23:03,600 --> 01:23:08,200
and soul and tell me go back to
your family, go back to your

1351
01:23:08,200 --> 01:23:10,900
church.
That was something I could

1352
01:23:10,907 --> 01:23:15,000
barely imagine doing to get up
in front of my ward at home.

1353
01:23:15,000 --> 01:23:18,100
The same people that persecuted
me or some of those, you know,

1354
01:23:18,100 --> 01:23:20,700
brat kids and then my ward and
just show them love and

1355
01:23:20,700 --> 01:23:23,300
excitement.
But what I realized then and

1356
01:23:23,300 --> 01:23:26,500
what handling father showed me
was, they had not had this

1357
01:23:26,500 --> 01:23:28,100
experience that I was having,
right?

1358
01:23:28,100 --> 01:23:32,200
Then they did not understand the
gospel to the degree that I was

1359
01:23:32,200 --> 01:23:35,600
being shown and the thoughts,
and the downloads that were

1360
01:23:35,600 --> 01:23:40,300
coming into my mind were so
intense, and so beautiful, and

1361
01:23:40,300 --> 01:23:45,400
so special.
To say it was the greatest

1362
01:23:45,400 --> 01:23:49,900
experience in my life.
Wow, hardly puts it in terms.

1363
01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:57,700
The. the news media was actually
there there to do a story on the

1364
01:23:57,700 --> 01:24:06,400
Hill, Cumorah Pageant The.
The pageant directors when they

1365
01:24:06,407 --> 01:24:08,800
saw me.
They just says, look at Corey.

1366
01:24:08,800 --> 01:24:11,700
He just glows.
Yeah, my globe.

1367
01:24:12,300 --> 01:24:14,900
I felt so much love and so much
happiness.

1368
01:24:14,900 --> 01:24:18,700
So much peace.
And heavenly father was helping

1369
01:24:18,700 --> 01:24:22,100
to change my heart from this
troubled brat teen.

1370
01:24:22,100 --> 01:24:23,500
That was always getting into
trouble.

1371
01:24:23,500 --> 01:24:28,200
There was angry with everyone
and everything. to someone that

1372
01:24:28,200 --> 01:24:32,500
was loving kind, and Filled with
compassion for others.

1373
01:24:32,500 --> 01:24:35,300
I just wanted to run around
everywhere and hug everybody.

1374
01:24:36,100 --> 01:24:39,700
And I did, I just look at
everything differently.

1375
01:24:39,700 --> 01:24:42,700
I shared my testimony in the
sacred grove.

1376
01:24:44,600 --> 01:24:47,100
Unhugged my dad and I hadn't
hugged him for years.

1377
01:24:47,100 --> 01:24:50,800
I didn't want to see my dad and
I just broke down and just I

1378
01:24:50,800 --> 01:24:53,300
could feel so the love of God
and my heart.

1379
01:24:54,600 --> 01:24:56,500
On the understanding that my
dad, really?

1380
01:24:58,100 --> 01:25:00,500
Did love me and didn't know how
to reach me.

1381
01:25:00,500 --> 01:25:06,600
I actually Just a couple days
before I, I saw one of the girls

1382
01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:09,400
there, the pageant Mary and Jane
Mall Kearney.

1383
01:25:10,300 --> 01:25:13,300
And their dad was playing
abandoned.

1384
01:25:13,300 --> 01:25:15,800
I the guy that I was burning
every night, you know, and in

1385
01:25:15,800 --> 01:25:21,800
the pageant and I, I saw her run
up to her dad and and give him a

1386
01:25:21,800 --> 01:25:27,200
great big hug.
It and to wash that interaction,

1387
01:25:27,200 --> 01:25:31,600
I literally had my jaw open.
I was somewhat speechless

1388
01:25:31,600 --> 01:25:34,500
because here I was, I was a kid.
I'd been in detention probably

1389
01:25:34,500 --> 01:25:38,500
30 times, I had been in and out
of getting in trouble with the

1390
01:25:38,500 --> 01:25:41,600
cops and running from them.
Off the time, I I could run

1391
01:25:41,600 --> 01:25:46,800
faster so I didn't get caught
but, um, To watch.

1392
01:25:48,000 --> 01:25:52,900
Her give her dad, a big hug and
say, I just love you and I

1393
01:25:52,900 --> 01:25:56,800
pulled her aside afterwards.
I said, Seems like you really

1394
01:25:56,808 --> 01:26:00,000
like your dad.
And she says, yeah, he's the

1395
01:26:00,000 --> 01:26:03,500
greatest and I just was
absolutely stunned by this to

1396
01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:05,800
see.
I pretty much had been around so

1397
01:26:05,800 --> 01:26:09,400
many troubled youth that I
forgot that you could even get

1398
01:26:09,400 --> 01:26:12,500
along with your parents anymore
and to me that was beautiful.

1399
01:26:12,500 --> 01:26:15,200
And then just, you know, A
couple days later.

1400
01:26:16,700 --> 01:26:20,200
I had that experience that
changed my heart and my soul to

1401
01:26:20,200 --> 01:26:23,900
the core and So many little
details at handling.

1402
01:26:23,900 --> 01:26:25,900
Father wanted me to know.
And that, hey, you know what, I

1403
01:26:25,900 --> 01:26:28,700
love you and I'm gonna forgive
you of everything and just do

1404
01:26:28,700 --> 01:26:33,700
your best and You know, I went
on a mission and just just super

1405
01:26:33,700 --> 01:26:36,700
enthusiastic about it, but the,
the media were there.

1406
01:26:36,708 --> 01:26:40,000
So once they heard about my
story, I shared my story to the

1407
01:26:40,000 --> 01:26:45,200
news media and a bad effect that
a lot of people in Utah, that

1408
01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:49,100
went out people in my gym, they
recognized me, they knew my

1409
01:26:49,100 --> 01:26:55,000
story at that point and Dozens
of people join the church

1410
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:58,400
because of that dozens, you
know, hundreds of people

1411
01:26:58,400 --> 01:27:01,900
actually went to church over the
Fireside.

1412
01:27:01,900 --> 01:27:05,500
And you know, when I was invited
by salmon and errors to give my

1413
01:27:05,500 --> 01:27:08,400
story and share the thoughts and
the experiences that I had with

1414
01:27:08,400 --> 01:27:12,500
the whole drug world and the
gangs and the, you know, shoot

1415
01:27:12,500 --> 01:27:15,700
outs and things like that that
I'd kind of been around and part

1416
01:27:15,700 --> 01:27:20,900
of And then the answer and got a
hold of, you know, the article

1417
01:27:20,900 --> 01:27:22,400
and the story and ran that as
well.

1418
01:27:22,400 --> 01:27:25,100
And so it gave me a great
opportunity to be a missionary.

1419
01:27:25,100 --> 01:27:27,800
What year was that?
What is she was at?

1420
01:27:27,800 --> 01:27:29,800
I might have to go look that up.
That's kind of.

1421
01:27:29,808 --> 01:27:34,700
Yeah in the 80s and the 80s 80s
like yeah.

1422
01:27:34,700 --> 01:27:39,200
Um, 80 That 90 nine somewhere in
there.

1423
01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:42,300
I'll find it for you.
I have I have I I'm pretty sure

1424
01:27:42,308 --> 01:27:44,800
I can find it online.
Maybe I'll just throw a link in

1425
01:27:44,800 --> 01:27:50,000
there just for Yeah, I have PM
Magazine, so I have the PM

1426
01:27:50,000 --> 01:27:54,800
Magazine video as well, of what
they did, the story of, of the

1427
01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:59,000
sacred grove as well, and the
groundskeeper, and the Hill

1428
01:27:59,000 --> 01:28:01,300
Cumorah Pageant on the Hill,
Cumorah Pageant itself.

1429
01:28:01,300 --> 01:28:06,100
So they did a three three
version versions of and the

1430
01:28:06,100 --> 01:28:09,100
first one was all about what
happened to me, kind of a

1431
01:28:09,100 --> 01:28:12,900
miracle at Kimora where, you
know, you got this album.

1432
01:28:12,900 --> 01:28:15,800
Yeah, sorry, most troubled teen
ever.

1433
01:28:16,600 --> 01:28:19,500
I just was very unhappy with
life and it just changed

1434
01:28:19,500 --> 01:28:23,100
everything for me, where I just
felt Family Father's, Love and

1435
01:28:23,100 --> 01:28:25,400
forgiveness.
And I've seen it happen.

1436
01:28:25,400 --> 01:28:27,800
So many other times with other
people where I've been able to

1437
01:28:27,800 --> 01:28:30,900
be a part of that.
And you know, one time in jail,

1438
01:28:30,900 --> 01:28:37,500
I was teaching a guy who He?
he came to me and he said, hey

1439
01:28:37,500 --> 01:28:41,900
Corey, what do you do, if What
do you do?

1440
01:28:41,900 --> 01:28:45,700
You know when, when you just
you're hurting inside and you

1441
01:28:45,708 --> 01:28:49,300
don't know what else, you know,
how to handle handle this.

1442
01:28:49,300 --> 01:28:56,100
I said my brother just cheated
on me with my fiancee. and I

1443
01:28:56,100 --> 01:28:59,000
said to him, you know, What
works for me?

1444
01:28:59,900 --> 01:29:05,700
is I grab the scriptures and I
just turned to any random place

1445
01:29:05,700 --> 01:29:08,500
and let God kind of choose, and
I just start reading until I

1446
01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:13,100
start feeling his love in my
life and I feel, you know, the

1447
01:29:13,100 --> 01:29:16,300
spirit touching my heart and
helping me to handle these

1448
01:29:16,300 --> 01:29:18,900
challenges.
And he said, yeah.

1449
01:29:18,900 --> 01:29:22,700
I I don't know what to do.
He was pacing back and forth.

1450
01:29:25,300 --> 01:29:28,700
Just beside himself that the
girl he was going to marry has

1451
01:29:28,700 --> 01:29:34,500
now run off with his brother.
The next day, few weeks back, I

1452
01:29:34,500 --> 01:29:37,300
had just in Franken on the
podcast where he laid out a bold

1453
01:29:37,300 --> 01:29:40,700
plan to help people and families
from all areas of the

1454
01:29:40,700 --> 01:29:43,300
restoration that are looking for
a new home in Mormonism.

1455
01:29:44,000 --> 01:29:48,600
Mormon.
Legacy is an online multi effort

1456
01:29:48,600 --> 01:29:51,600
to be a place where folks can
come and learn and have

1457
01:29:51,600 --> 01:29:54,000
Fellowship while they find their
new church home.

1458
01:29:54,000 --> 01:29:57,600
Now, it doesn't matter.
If folks, end up back in the LDS

1459
01:29:57,600 --> 01:30:00,900
church, a fundamentalist church
or an independent, we just want

1460
01:30:00,900 --> 01:30:03,800
people to go where it is that
the Lord tells him to go where

1461
01:30:03,800 --> 01:30:07,600
they can do the most good.
Now as of last Saturday a few of

1462
01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:09,100
those meetings are now up and
running.

1463
01:30:09,100 --> 01:30:12,500
So there are four meetings that
are available to you on the

1464
01:30:12,508 --> 01:30:15,800
second and fourth Saturday of
every month at 3 p.m.

1465
01:30:15,800 --> 01:30:18,200
Mountain Standard Time.
A sacrament meeting is available

1466
01:30:18,200 --> 01:30:23,100
on Monday nights at 7 p.m.
mountain standard time is a

1467
01:30:23,100 --> 01:30:27,500
men's meeting on Thursday night
at 6 p.m. mountain standard

1468
01:30:27,500 --> 01:30:31,400
time, a gospel, fundamentals
classes available then on the

1469
01:30:31,400 --> 01:30:35,600
first and Tuesday of every month
at 7 p.m. mountain standard

1470
01:30:35,600 --> 01:30:39,500
time, starting in October, a
women's meeting will be held.

1471
01:30:39,500 --> 01:30:43,800
Now it doesn't matter if you are
a member of the LDS church, a

1472
01:30:43,800 --> 01:30:48,300
fundamentalist a person from
other restoration branches and

1473
01:30:48,300 --> 01:30:52,100
investigator or a Nevermore.
These meetings are available to

1474
01:30:52,100 --> 01:30:54,200
all.
Now it doesn't even matter where

1475
01:30:54,200 --> 01:30:58,700
you live East Coast West Coast,
Midwest Canada, Mexico Europe

1476
01:30:58,700 --> 01:31:02,900
you name it you have access to
all these meetings all you need

1477
01:31:02,900 --> 01:31:05,300
to do is to go to Mormon
legacy.org.

1478
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:08,700
Scroll to the bottom of the
landing page and just click the

1479
01:31:08,700 --> 01:31:10,200
link of the meeting you want to
join.

1480
01:31:10,200 --> 01:31:13,100
That's it.
So whether you want a soft place

1481
01:31:13,108 --> 01:31:16,900
to land while you look for your
new church home, You're curious

1482
01:31:16,900 --> 01:31:21,000
about early Mormon teachings, or
you just really want to be part

1483
01:31:21,000 --> 01:31:24,000
of something and they're already
member of a church and want to

1484
01:31:24,000 --> 01:31:26,100
stay there but want more
opportunities to serve.

1485
01:31:26,100 --> 01:31:30,400
This could be the place for you.
Again, you can access all those

1486
01:31:30,400 --> 01:31:33,900
meetings and reach out to
anybody with the ministry by

1487
01:31:33,900 --> 01:31:37,500
going to Mormon legacy.org or by
clicking the link in this

1488
01:31:37,500 --> 01:31:41,900
episode shown notes.
Thank you. first thing he did

1489
01:31:41,900 --> 01:31:45,000
was, you know, running up to me
as soon as he could find me and

1490
01:31:45,000 --> 01:31:49,500
he says Corey, I spent all night
reading scriptures, I read

1491
01:31:49,500 --> 01:31:55,400
through psalms and it just
touched my heart and I I just

1492
01:31:55,400 --> 01:31:56,800
want to run around and hug
everybody.

1493
01:31:56,800 --> 01:31:59,900
I've never felt like this.
And that was the same thing with

1494
01:31:59,900 --> 01:32:01,300
me.
I was literally pinching and

1495
01:32:01,300 --> 01:32:03,900
smacking myself the next day.
It's like I didn't feel like I

1496
01:32:03,900 --> 01:32:07,900
this was so unreal to me that I
would get an answer like this

1497
01:32:07,900 --> 01:32:11,800
after all this time.
He says to me, hey Corey.

1498
01:32:15,200 --> 01:32:17,700
You're a minister, right?
You could you could baptize me

1499
01:32:17,700 --> 01:32:21,900
and I says, yeah, I could
baptize you and and He says,

1500
01:32:21,907 --> 01:32:26,800
well, we'll baptize me and I
says well. if you can get some

1501
01:32:26,800 --> 01:32:29,200
of your friends to keep that
guard busy over there, we can

1502
01:32:29,200 --> 01:32:33,200
fill up the garbage can And then
I said to him well in your case

1503
01:32:33,208 --> 01:32:35,700
because you've been so rotten,
I'm gonna have to hold you down

1504
01:32:35,700 --> 01:32:38,300
a little longer.
But we can do this for you.

1505
01:32:39,100 --> 01:32:43,300
And he literally went off.
He was on his way.

1506
01:32:43,300 --> 01:32:44,800
I had to call him back and say,
no, no!

1507
01:32:44,800 --> 01:32:48,300
This isn't how it works.
You know, you you you're you're

1508
01:32:48,300 --> 01:32:52,000
committed to the gospel and
we'll baptize you but not right

1509
01:32:52,000 --> 01:32:55,200
here, not right now, there's
more to this but Heavenly Father

1510
01:32:55,200 --> 01:32:59,900
appreciates where you're at and
your commitment to him and just,

1511
01:33:00,800 --> 01:33:03,600
It was such a beautiful thing.
He had several friends come up

1512
01:33:03,600 --> 01:33:05,700
to me and say you know this guy
was a gangster he was out

1513
01:33:05,700 --> 01:33:08,200
robbing people all the time to
see this change.

1514
01:33:08,200 --> 01:33:10,200
Come over him.
It's so wonderful that you

1515
01:33:10,200 --> 01:33:13,800
really helped him to read the
scriptures and I said, you know

1516
01:33:13,800 --> 01:33:16,600
I just Emily father puts us in
those places where we can be

1517
01:33:16,600 --> 01:33:21,300
little missionaries to others
and I was so grateful to be part

1518
01:33:21,300 --> 01:33:24,500
of that in his life.
Those are some of the greatest

1519
01:33:24,500 --> 01:33:27,500
experiences ever for me actually
to look back at those moments

1520
01:33:27,500 --> 01:33:31,700
and I was part of that for him
and other people were part of

1521
01:33:31,708 --> 01:33:34,900
that for me and I'm so grateful
to them for their contribution

1522
01:33:34,900 --> 01:33:37,300
in my life.
And you know, that's really why

1523
01:33:37,300 --> 01:33:40,700
we're on this podcast here is
because we want other people to

1524
01:33:40,700 --> 01:33:43,400
have this experience.
We want people to understand the

1525
01:33:44,300 --> 01:33:46,700
The truth of the restoration and
have a place to go.

1526
01:33:46,700 --> 01:33:51,200
Where They have answers to what
Joseph Smith taught to what

1527
01:33:51,200 --> 01:33:55,600
Brigham Young taught, what the
Savior taught. which is why

1528
01:33:55,600 --> 01:34:00,400
we're kind of the phases of of
baking 30 Mercantile website

1529
01:34:00,400 --> 01:34:04,600
that we've helped you build so
that we can all gather together

1530
01:34:04,600 --> 01:34:12,600
as as members of the church or
fundamentalists or other.

1531
01:34:14,600 --> 01:34:17,600
And we're gonna get there in a
minute, but I do want to just

1532
01:34:17,600 --> 01:34:24,300
kind of finish the story out
here. so, when you I feel like a

1533
01:34:24,300 --> 01:34:27,200
big part of your story is the
struggles you've had with covid

1534
01:34:27,200 --> 01:34:29,900
and was that something you'd be
comfortable to share here?

1535
01:34:30,900 --> 01:34:34,900
Yeah.
Yeah, so so let's go into that.

1536
01:34:34,900 --> 01:34:38,400
I feel like your story that you
just shared in the journeys were

1537
01:34:38,400 --> 01:34:41,200
pretty well caught up, right?
We know how you guys meet you

1538
01:34:41,200 --> 01:34:42,500
get married.
Yeah.

1539
01:34:43,300 --> 01:34:46,400
Let's talk about what it's like
when you guys get married for a

1540
01:34:46,407 --> 01:34:49,800
little while, let's go through
that and then my thoughts are.

1541
01:34:49,800 --> 01:34:53,100
I think so we can give the rest
of this Justice.

1542
01:34:53,100 --> 01:34:56,300
What we'll do is we'll have you
come back on and then we'll go

1543
01:34:56,300 --> 01:35:01,700
into The products right?
The 1830 Mercantile, the cocoa

1544
01:35:01,700 --> 01:35:04,400
powder, all that other stuff.
Are you guys good with that?

1545
01:35:04,400 --> 01:35:08,700
Yeah, yeah, because this is
going good and I don't want to,

1546
01:35:08,700 --> 01:35:13,400
I don't want to rush this so I
feel like we take some time.

1547
01:35:13,400 --> 01:35:15,900
Here we'll be.
We'll be well suited if you guys

1548
01:35:15,900 --> 01:35:19,900
are down for that.
Absolutely Okay, all right.

1549
01:35:21,200 --> 01:35:24,800
So, you guys get married, you're
you're off and running, right?

1550
01:35:25,700 --> 01:35:28,700
Joni smiling, Corey smiling
looks like things are gonna go.

1551
01:35:28,700 --> 01:35:32,700
Well, Tell us a little bit about
how long have you guys been

1552
01:35:32,700 --> 01:35:36,000
married now.
Um, six years going on seven?

1553
01:35:36,000 --> 01:35:37,400
Okay?
All right.

1554
01:35:37,407 --> 01:35:40,000
So, tell me about that.
Six years of marriage.

1555
01:35:40,000 --> 01:35:44,600
What's that been like well, I
feel like before we can get to

1556
01:35:44,600 --> 01:35:50,800
covid, We had Trevor.
So yes, had a honeymoon baby and

1557
01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:55,900
we were doing it all natural.
Everything was great. five weeks

1558
01:35:55,900 --> 01:36:01,200
early, my water breaks and I
called my Midwife and she says,

1559
01:36:01,200 --> 01:36:03,900
well, it's too early, I was
still working.

1560
01:36:03,900 --> 01:36:06,300
Thankfully, so we had insurance
to cover everything.

1561
01:36:06,300 --> 01:36:09,100
She said, well, you can't have
it at home.

1562
01:36:09,100 --> 01:36:12,500
It's too early.
So you'll have to go into the

1563
01:36:12,500 --> 01:36:14,300
hospital.
So we were, we went to about

1564
01:36:14,300 --> 01:36:18,700
anything and Just like I was
early, you know.

1565
01:36:18,700 --> 01:36:23,100
So it's just like, okay and
actually went back to sleep

1566
01:36:23,100 --> 01:36:25,000
because I was like, well, I'm
not having any contractions.

1567
01:36:25,000 --> 01:36:31,000
And I slept for eight hours, I
played dumb at the hospital, the

1568
01:36:31,000 --> 01:36:37,400
doctors, like, how long ago did
your water break my first one

1569
01:36:37,400 --> 01:36:40,100
that anyway.
Yes, that's funny.

1570
01:36:40,100 --> 01:36:42,400
That's the same.
Look, I get from my doctor when

1571
01:36:42,400 --> 01:36:44,300
he says, how many cheeseburgers
did you?

1572
01:36:44,308 --> 01:36:54,500
So we go in and and I mean, I
feel fine because I'm not having

1573
01:36:54,500 --> 01:36:57,700
a lot of contractions, they're
very mild, they get me

1574
01:36:57,700 --> 01:37:05,200
processed, and they start to
induce and they say His Waters

1575
01:37:05,200 --> 01:37:08,000
dropping or his the baby's heart
is.

1576
01:37:08,900 --> 01:37:11,400
Dropping every time you have a
contraction, we've got to stop

1577
01:37:11,400 --> 01:37:15,300
this. and we're like okay you
know and I'm still hoping I can

1578
01:37:15,300 --> 01:37:17,800
have it natural but they said
he'd probably need to see

1579
01:37:17,800 --> 01:37:23,600
section and anyway the doctor
comes in and it this is like

1580
01:37:23,600 --> 01:37:26,500
hours it's like 4 p.m. by the
time.

1581
01:37:26,500 --> 01:37:29,900
He was a really good doctor so
it's a good experience to be

1582
01:37:29,900 --> 01:37:33,000
able to walk in and have a good
doctor, but he puts his hand on

1583
01:37:33,000 --> 01:37:39,300
my belly and says this baby is
like, three or four pounds and

1584
01:37:39,300 --> 01:37:42,700
I'm like, you're crazy, he's
really, but he's not that early,

1585
01:37:42,700 --> 01:37:48,300
you know, And everything's
pretty fine.

1586
01:37:48,300 --> 01:37:51,500
It's a it's really fast.
It's my first one so I don't

1587
01:37:51,508 --> 01:37:53,900
know what to expect.
It's a C-section now they you

1588
01:37:53,900 --> 01:37:55,600
know, Russia's in, he's a great
doctor.

1589
01:37:55,600 --> 01:37:58,100
It's like a 15 15 minutes, he
did it.

1590
01:37:58,100 --> 01:38:02,400
He did it in like 15 minutes.
Cut me open take the baby up so

1591
01:38:02,400 --> 01:38:06,000
up but you know looking back
it's like he they held the baby

1592
01:38:06,000 --> 01:38:08,200
up but they rushed him out, you
know?

1593
01:38:08,200 --> 01:38:14,100
So it's like what's going on?
and so, Next thing I know a

1594
01:38:14,100 --> 01:38:18,400
doctor comes in you know and
says your son has all the

1595
01:38:18,400 --> 01:38:22,200
markings of try.
So many teen Edwards syndrome,

1596
01:38:22,200 --> 01:38:27,900
he's got clubbed feet, he's
probably got mental issues.

1597
01:38:27,900 --> 01:38:32,800
He's got Anyway, he's got the
heart.

1598
01:38:32,800 --> 01:38:36,800
Heart challenge is Typeface.
Yeah.

1599
01:38:36,800 --> 01:38:42,400
You know, he starts listing the
textbook definition, what?

1600
01:38:42,400 --> 01:38:45,900
Trevor didn't even fit all that.
So it was interesting that he

1601
01:38:45,900 --> 01:38:48,300
listed things that Trevor didn't
seem to have.

1602
01:38:48,300 --> 01:38:53,400
But anyway, so He asked, do you
want to take him off life

1603
01:38:53,400 --> 01:38:58,000
support and I mean, Corey and
shock and say just give him.

1604
01:38:58,000 --> 01:39:00,600
Yeah.
Like wow, that you would even

1605
01:39:00,600 --> 01:39:03,500
ask that with our child.
You know, I just, I was

1606
01:39:03,500 --> 01:39:06,000
horrified by that even comment.
It's not.

1607
01:39:06,008 --> 01:39:07,800
Of course, you're gonna help our
little child.

1608
01:39:07,800 --> 01:39:12,200
So, he was three pounds.
Yeah, like they didn't give you

1609
01:39:12,200 --> 01:39:15,600
guys options first.
Like, hey, maybe we can do this.

1610
01:39:15,600 --> 01:39:18,500
Maybe we can do that.
It's just like, it was, it was

1611
01:39:18,500 --> 01:39:20,300
that abrupt?
I had no idea what the

1612
01:39:20,300 --> 01:39:21,500
diagnosis.
Yeah, man.

1613
01:39:21,500 --> 01:39:24,200
I wasn't sure.
You know, like, he wanted to

1614
01:39:24,200 --> 01:39:27,300
explain the disease first, like,
give me some background, I mean,

1615
01:39:27,308 --> 01:39:31,400
he listed symptoms, you know,
and he was, he was really quiet

1616
01:39:31,400 --> 01:39:33,800
trying to be respectful.
So I'm pretty sure this is just

1617
01:39:33,800 --> 01:39:35,900
normal protocol.
This is what we're supposed to

1618
01:39:35,900 --> 01:39:40,200
do and, and say, you know, so
for all I needed this, this

1619
01:39:40,200 --> 01:39:43,100
child was deformed and didn't
have a chance at life, but I

1620
01:39:43,100 --> 01:39:45,300
just said, you know, give him
whatever chance he's got and,

1621
01:39:45,300 --> 01:39:49,200
you know, was kind of, you know,
really scary to try and

1622
01:39:49,200 --> 01:39:52,200
understand well, what's Even
what's he gonna look, like,

1623
01:39:52,200 --> 01:39:56,000
based off of fees, you saying
he's got these deformities and,

1624
01:39:56,000 --> 01:40:00,700
you know, mentally handicapped.
So, you know, it's, I have my

1625
01:40:00,708 --> 01:40:05,800
phone, I Google it, and I call
my family, and, and my sister's

1626
01:40:05,800 --> 01:40:08,400
like, I know, somebody whose
daughter had that.

1627
01:40:08,400 --> 01:40:15,900
And she's the sage, and that,
and, you know, and you And Corey

1628
01:40:15,900 --> 01:40:17,800
gets to go see Trevor first.
So do you want to?

1629
01:40:17,808 --> 01:40:22,300
Yeah.
He was supposed to, you know,

1630
01:40:22,308 --> 01:40:25,300
have all these deformities I
just went right into them and he

1631
01:40:25,300 --> 01:40:28,300
was underneath the glass and it
kind of put my little hands in

1632
01:40:28,300 --> 01:40:33,500
there and um, he was so tiny.
I've never really seen a little

1633
01:40:33,500 --> 01:40:36,400
baby smaller than him at you
know, three pounds and he kind

1634
01:40:36,407 --> 01:40:40,000
of went under, you know, into
the two-pound range just as he

1635
01:40:40,000 --> 01:40:45,000
lost a little bit of weight. but
he, The first thing he did was

1636
01:40:45,000 --> 01:40:49,500
cry out to me.
As soon as I saw him that really

1637
01:40:49,500 --> 01:40:54,300
was amazing because it's like he
went through the veil a little

1638
01:40:54,308 --> 01:40:58,000
bit and recognize that I was
there and that was like a noise

1639
01:40:58,000 --> 01:41:00,900
that he made right?
Then that I never heard him to

1640
01:41:00,900 --> 01:41:04,000
make ever again did the same
when I came and never heard that

1641
01:41:04,000 --> 01:41:06,700
sound again.
It was really really interesting

1642
01:41:06,700 --> 01:41:10,900
and touching.
Yeah we had a brief moment with

1643
01:41:10,900 --> 01:41:14,500
them before he was lost, Life,
Flight and children.

1644
01:41:14,500 --> 01:41:17,500
It's very children and Salt Lake
because we were up in Ogden and

1645
01:41:17,508 --> 01:41:20,000
they didn't have the facilities
for his diagnosis.

1646
01:41:21,100 --> 01:41:25,100
So, but I went there in the
next, you know, day to give him

1647
01:41:25,100 --> 01:41:28,400
a blessing and just to be there
with him and let him know that

1648
01:41:28,400 --> 01:41:32,300
we loved him.
And Just to hold his hand and

1649
01:41:32,300 --> 01:41:35,100
feel of the spirit.
And I could just feel wonderful

1650
01:41:35,100 --> 01:41:40,100
spirit around him, very strong
and unusual.

1651
01:41:40,100 --> 01:41:43,000
I've been around lots of little
babies and he just has this

1652
01:41:43,000 --> 01:41:47,900
spirit, that brought something
To us and into my heart and my

1653
01:41:47,900 --> 01:41:51,400
home.
And to our home, where With his

1654
01:41:51,400 --> 01:41:55,700
disability is just felt like a
little angel was with us.

1655
01:41:55,700 --> 01:41:59,300
Literally the, the spirit of the
Lord was in our home at such a

1656
01:41:59,300 --> 01:42:04,000
strong level that his presence.
very, very touching and I feel

1657
01:42:04,000 --> 01:42:07,300
like it just healed my heart and
my soul just to be around this

1658
01:42:07,300 --> 01:42:12,400
cute little Boy, that's what's
so frustrating.

1659
01:42:12,400 --> 01:42:17,000
When you realize the protocol is
to ask, if you want your baby

1660
01:42:17,000 --> 01:42:19,700
taking off life support, before
you get the chance to meet him

1661
01:42:19,700 --> 01:42:27,200
is because those diagnosis say
it's a spectrum, you know, You

1662
01:42:27,200 --> 01:42:29,900
don't know which deformities
each child's gonna have, you

1663
01:42:29,900 --> 01:42:33,300
don't know which but what it's
like down syndrome is what it

1664
01:42:33,300 --> 01:42:35,300
is.
It's you have a one in 7000

1665
01:42:35,300 --> 01:42:42,600
chance that you'll He'll have it
as a woman, but obviously you're

1666
01:42:42,600 --> 01:42:45,900
more high-risk when you're a
little older and we were, I was

1667
01:42:45,900 --> 01:42:48,900
yeah, of course.
And that age the doctors in

1668
01:42:48,900 --> 01:42:51,500
their kind of assured us that
this isn't really to do with

1669
01:42:51,500 --> 01:42:57,000
your DNA, really have to do with
the baby multiplying and their

1670
01:42:57,000 --> 01:43:01,100
cell dividing and that it's just
but something that happens on

1671
01:43:01,100 --> 01:43:03,900
the very rare that the child
just does not develop on their

1672
01:43:03,900 --> 01:43:06,000
own, even with the DNA, they
have.

1673
01:43:06,000 --> 01:43:10,300
Just so you take 18th strand.
So instead of the 21st, which is

1674
01:43:10,308 --> 01:43:13,400
Down syndrome and down syndrome,
we've now shown that these

1675
01:43:13,400 --> 01:43:17,800
children, they have a high, you
know, High chances of survival

1676
01:43:17,800 --> 01:43:20,900
and even living normal lives.
Yeah, a lot of?

1677
01:43:20,900 --> 01:43:24,600
Yeah, once again, you know, it's
there on a spectrum as well as

1678
01:43:24,600 --> 01:43:29,800
to, how how it expresses
genetically with Edward

1679
01:43:29,800 --> 01:43:33,000
syndrome.
He had a 10% chance especially

1680
01:43:33,000 --> 01:43:35,500
boys for some reason.
It's less of the challenge,

1681
01:43:35,500 --> 01:43:39,300
there's female that do. survive
and I think the oldest lived to

1682
01:43:39,300 --> 01:43:44,800
be maybe 21, but Yeah, he had a
10% chance that he'd make it

1683
01:43:44,800 --> 01:43:48,100
past that first week and then a
10% chance that he'd make it to

1684
01:43:48,100 --> 01:43:50,900
his first year.
It was, it was still pretty

1685
01:43:50,900 --> 01:43:53,800
minimal and they just didn't
really have answers for us and

1686
01:43:53,800 --> 01:43:55,800
that was I guess that the
challenging thing is, you know,

1687
01:43:55,800 --> 01:43:58,900
we're taking to the internet and
we're asking questions of the

1688
01:43:58,907 --> 01:44:01,700
geneticists and just some of the
top people trying to get some

1689
01:44:01,700 --> 01:44:04,700
answers for, you know, what can
we expect with our little boy?

1690
01:44:04,700 --> 01:44:07,200
And I just thought to myself,
you know, it's like, well, we

1691
01:44:07,200 --> 01:44:10,400
believe in healings, you know, I
guess we're just gonna fast and

1692
01:44:10,400 --> 01:44:15,500
pray and do whatever we can do.
And You know, ultimately, you

1693
01:44:15,500 --> 01:44:17,900
know, our little boy was with
us, you know, 112 days.

1694
01:44:19,300 --> 01:44:22,400
And then he joked and that was
just the hardest thing in the

1695
01:44:22,400 --> 01:44:25,000
world to not have his wonderful
little spirit in our home.

1696
01:44:25,000 --> 01:44:27,300
I gotta say, I was just really
heartbroken.

1697
01:44:29,800 --> 01:44:31,300
He just brought something into
her home.

1698
01:44:31,300 --> 01:44:33,800
It's like people say, oh, you
have a child that has

1699
01:44:33,800 --> 01:44:36,900
disabilities.
Oh, he's going to be so hard.

1700
01:44:36,900 --> 01:44:39,900
Yeah, it was hard.
It was hard for Joni to get up

1701
01:44:39,900 --> 01:44:42,400
and feed him.
You know, every few hours and it

1702
01:44:42,400 --> 01:44:45,500
was really hard hard for me as
well.

1703
01:44:45,500 --> 01:44:50,000
I was very just spending time
with him as much as we were

1704
01:44:50,000 --> 01:44:53,400
spinning.
It was, it was a lot of work for

1705
01:44:53,400 --> 01:44:56,400
both of us.
I can't imagine just one parent,

1706
01:44:56,400 --> 01:45:00,600
taking care of, you know, the
special needs child because I

1707
01:45:00,600 --> 01:45:03,700
was fairly exhausted many times
because I wasn't getting as much

1708
01:45:03,700 --> 01:45:06,200
sleep and joining was taking the
brunt of a.

1709
01:45:06,200 --> 01:45:10,300
So But to think that, you know,
this wasn't worth it.

1710
01:45:11,800 --> 01:45:15,400
The greatest blessing ever to
have this wonderful Sweet Child

1711
01:45:15,400 --> 01:45:17,800
in our home.
And the spirit that he brought

1712
01:45:20,400 --> 01:45:22,300
I'm grateful for that, I'm
grateful.

1713
01:45:23,200 --> 01:45:28,500
That he's part of our family.
I feel blessed that I was able

1714
01:45:28,500 --> 01:45:30,800
to serve him and the way that I
did, I feel like it was one of

1715
01:45:30,808 --> 01:45:31,900
the greatest things I've ever
done.

1716
01:45:31,900 --> 01:45:35,500
Is to be a parent that was all
in whatever I could do to help

1717
01:45:35,500 --> 01:45:39,400
my little boy and until love and
support him with his Challenge

1718
01:45:39,400 --> 01:45:41,200
and his desire to be on this
Earth.

1719
01:45:41,200 --> 01:45:44,800
And did you just be part of our
family for the little time that

1720
01:45:44,800 --> 01:45:47,500
he was?
I Very grateful for that.

1721
01:45:48,900 --> 01:45:51,800
I yes, go ahead.
Sorry.

1722
01:45:51,800 --> 01:45:53,500
Joni, go ahead.
All right.

1723
01:45:53,508 --> 01:45:56,600
Yeah.
I just came here to love us.

1724
01:45:56,600 --> 01:46:00,600
He just had needed.
And and just stayed a few days

1725
01:46:00,600 --> 01:46:03,600
to love us.
And that's the only thing I can

1726
01:46:03,600 --> 01:46:08,400
say he had, he had heart defect.
So, I mean, but if you looked at

1727
01:46:08,400 --> 01:46:12,800
him and and saw him, we were
able to take him home actually,

1728
01:46:12,800 --> 01:46:15,800
which was really precious
because normally, you know, if

1729
01:46:15,800 --> 01:46:18,500
you have a three-pound baby,
they're going to keep you in the

1730
01:46:18,500 --> 01:46:22,100
hospital forever till they weigh
at least 5 or 6 pounds, yes

1731
01:46:22,100 --> 01:46:25,000
they're like well, send them
home on hospice.

1732
01:46:25,000 --> 01:46:29,000
They send them home on hospice
about 26 days later they can

1733
01:46:29,000 --> 01:46:30,500
share the screen.
Um, yeah.

1734
01:46:30,500 --> 01:46:32,400
Um, share the screen here for a
moment.

1735
01:46:32,407 --> 01:46:35,400
You should have permission still
Corey.

1736
01:46:35,400 --> 01:46:38,400
Okay, Okay click it on your.
Oh I do click it.

1737
01:46:38,400 --> 01:46:42,300
Okay.
No.

1738
01:46:42,300 --> 01:46:48,900
Yeah, but this down here.
Right those days at home were so

1739
01:46:48,907 --> 01:46:51,900
precious that we gotta just take
him home and loved them.

1740
01:46:51,900 --> 01:46:55,900
He was on oxygen and he was too
fed, but otherwise he was almost

1741
01:46:56,800 --> 01:46:58,600
Almost a normal baby, he had
heart.

1742
01:46:59,400 --> 01:47:01,700
Defects.
So he was not gonna outlive us

1743
01:47:01,700 --> 01:47:07,000
no way.
And he had his epiglottis was at

1744
01:47:07,000 --> 01:47:09,500
fully formed, which is do you
see the thing?

1745
01:47:09,500 --> 01:47:12,200
It's all do it.
There is yeah.

1746
01:47:12,200 --> 01:47:16,700
So he but here's just A short
little video clip.

1747
01:47:16,700 --> 01:47:19,100
Just to kind of show is is
beautiful little spirit.

1748
01:47:19,100 --> 01:47:21,300
I feel like that's something
that everyone ought to see

1749
01:47:21,308 --> 01:47:25,900
because, you know, even with the
greatest of challenges, you

1750
01:47:25,900 --> 01:47:28,700
could feel something special
just by watching this for a

1751
01:47:28,700 --> 01:47:32,400
moment.
It's not sharing on my end guys.

1752
01:47:32,400 --> 01:47:34,500
Okay, here it is.
There it is.

1753
01:47:58,900 --> 01:48:01,400
Trevor.
Hey Trevor.

1754
01:48:01,400 --> 01:48:04,800
We love you.
Yeah, we do.

1755
01:48:09,800 --> 01:48:13,500
And I just remember, you can't
stop share.

1756
01:48:13,500 --> 01:48:24,400
So you just exit out of it and
I'll stop sharing.

1757
01:48:27,000 --> 01:48:29,500
Here you go.
What were you saying?

1758
01:48:29,500 --> 01:48:32,500
Joni you remember what?
Well, one day, I was just

1759
01:48:32,500 --> 01:48:36,700
holding him, tired exhausted,
you know, from public here

1760
01:48:36,700 --> 01:48:38,900
taking duties, and doctors
visits.

1761
01:48:38,900 --> 01:48:43,600
And Scrolling my phone and I
looked down at him and there's

1762
01:48:43,600 --> 01:48:46,000
just so much love emanating from
his eyes.

1763
01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:52,800
He was definitely a different
caliber a Celestial being, you

1764
01:48:52,800 --> 01:48:56,000
know, there just You know, it
was really really sweet.

1765
01:48:56,000 --> 01:49:01,200
So Unfortunately, he's our only
ones so far and we're still here

1766
01:49:01,200 --> 01:49:04,100
and then open that will get the
opportunity to have more.

1767
01:49:04,100 --> 01:49:08,200
Yeah, we've got impressions for
two other little babies and you

1768
01:49:08,200 --> 01:49:10,600
know, Megan and Nathan.
We've already come up with names

1769
01:49:10,600 --> 01:49:13,900
for them and feel that you know,
those are the two that Emily

1770
01:49:13,900 --> 01:49:18,000
father will give us.
The only challenges I've had

1771
01:49:18,000 --> 01:49:21,900
covid the last little bit, and
had some massive struggles with

1772
01:49:21,900 --> 01:49:23,900
that, so I guess we can get into
that story.

1773
01:49:23,900 --> 01:49:27,500
But before we get into that, if
again, if it's not too personal,

1774
01:49:27,500 --> 01:49:29,300
you can always tell me to shut
my pie hole.

1775
01:49:29,300 --> 01:49:34,500
If it is, um What in those
moments, right?

1776
01:49:34,500 --> 01:49:40,000
Knowing that this, this child
who's He's got your whole Hearts

1777
01:49:40,000 --> 01:49:42,800
now.
He's gonna pass and he does.

1778
01:49:43,600 --> 01:49:46,600
What does that do with your
relationship to God in those

1779
01:49:46,608 --> 01:49:52,000
moments?
Yeah.

1780
01:49:56,100 --> 01:49:58,400
It's very different.
Once you go through the grieving

1781
01:49:58,400 --> 01:50:01,800
experience, you start to realize
all the things that people say

1782
01:50:01,800 --> 01:50:06,500
that they shouldn't say well at
least you'll have them in heaven

1783
01:50:06,500 --> 01:50:08,400
you know.
It's like well I want them now,

1784
01:50:08,400 --> 01:50:11,900
you know, ya know, aren't you
glad you know that families

1785
01:50:11,900 --> 01:50:14,300
already Eternal?
Well not really at this moment.

1786
01:50:14,300 --> 01:50:20,600
It doesn't help the fact that I
still miss him right now. and so

1787
01:50:20,600 --> 01:50:24,600
you just really realize what the
grieving process is like and it

1788
01:50:24,600 --> 01:50:28,400
teaches you to Be more careful
what you say and just more

1789
01:50:28,400 --> 01:50:31,100
aware.
And when empathy for others.

1790
01:50:32,000 --> 01:50:37,500
But with God, I feel like the
first little bit, there was so

1791
01:50:37,500 --> 01:50:40,700
much help Heaven wise there was
so much help.

1792
01:50:43,800 --> 01:50:47,600
Family wise that usually it
doesn't hit you until a little

1793
01:50:47,608 --> 01:50:51,500
bit later and for me, 2020 was
really hard.

1794
01:50:51,500 --> 01:50:55,600
So, Trevor, you know, we got
married in 2018.

1795
01:50:55,600 --> 01:51:00,800
We had Trevor in 2019, and he
passed in 2019 as well.

1796
01:51:00,800 --> 01:51:05,900
And then, and then covid here
and that, you know, messed with

1797
01:51:05,900 --> 01:51:09,800
our finances, the world felt
very dark for a little bit.

1798
01:51:11,100 --> 01:51:14,100
I do feel like I kind of
struggled with my relationship

1799
01:51:14,100 --> 01:51:17,100
with Heavenly Father.
During that time just of like

1800
01:51:20,100 --> 01:51:24,900
Not being able to kind of see
the way out in some some sort of

1801
01:51:24,900 --> 01:51:30,600
depression and things like that.
But the World did get better.

1802
01:51:30,600 --> 01:51:34,200
So, I mean, I don't know if I
have anything wise to say about

1803
01:51:34,200 --> 01:51:36,500
that.
I feel like our relationship,

1804
01:51:36,500 --> 01:51:41,900
thankfully, it helped solidify
our relationship, and I know a

1805
01:51:41,900 --> 01:51:48,000
lot of times, apparently losing
a child is, is A huge part of

1806
01:51:48,008 --> 01:51:50,700
divorce.
Divorce.

1807
01:51:50,700 --> 01:51:55,200
And I, because of her foundation
and our belief in God.

1808
01:51:55,200 --> 01:51:59,600
It didn't Rock her marriage in
the way that most people did.

1809
01:51:59,600 --> 01:52:03,600
And also, I've seen other women,
you know, greeting, were they

1810
01:52:03,600 --> 01:52:06,300
spend years where they just
can't get out of bed?

1811
01:52:06,300 --> 01:52:08,600
And thankfully, for me, it
wasn't like that.

1812
01:52:08,600 --> 01:52:11,100
I'm not naturally prone to be a
depressed person.

1813
01:52:11,100 --> 01:52:14,900
I feel like covid was hard on.
A lot of people in the world

1814
01:52:14,900 --> 01:52:20,200
felt very dark and all of that
compounded with losing Trevor,

1815
01:52:20,200 --> 01:52:25,900
just Felt. but it did take a
take a little bit more like,

1816
01:52:25,900 --> 01:52:29,700
trust in faith and still even
now I mean we've had a

1817
01:52:29,700 --> 01:52:36,700
miscarriage too and it's just
like uh, that's it's just, it's

1818
01:52:36,700 --> 01:52:42,300
hard to realize that You have to
have faith that God and

1819
01:52:42,300 --> 01:52:44,800
Heavenly, heavenly father wants.
What's best for you?

1820
01:52:44,800 --> 01:52:48,500
Even when when these things
happen and sometimes it makes

1821
01:52:48,500 --> 01:52:57,200
the the challenges just a little
harder when you I feel like it's

1822
01:52:57,200 --> 01:53:00,400
shaped me in ways that I didn't
want to be shaped like I would

1823
01:53:00,400 --> 01:53:02,800
rather be more of an easygoing
parent.

1824
01:53:02,800 --> 01:53:08,700
That's not worried about a child
hurting themselves but very

1825
01:53:08,700 --> 01:53:10,400
much.
Now I feel like I have a

1826
01:53:10,400 --> 01:53:13,300
mother's heart that is going to
be very overprotective.

1827
01:53:13,300 --> 01:53:20,900
Like you can't talk on me know,
right before we show rightfully

1828
01:53:20,900 --> 01:53:26,600
so I want to ask the same
question to you, but first, I

1829
01:53:26,600 --> 01:53:30,200
want to address something that
Joni said here. and that was,

1830
01:53:32,800 --> 01:53:35,200
People say things.
Well intended but it doesn't hit

1831
01:53:35,200 --> 01:53:37,000
well, right?
It doesn't land.

1832
01:53:37,000 --> 01:53:44,600
Well yeah. and, In those times.
I I remember I had I worked.

1833
01:53:44,600 --> 01:53:47,600
I worked with a guy when I was,
when I was still in the church.

1834
01:53:47,600 --> 01:53:53,400
Good dude, totally good, dude.
And he meant completely well but

1835
01:53:53,400 --> 01:53:56,400
that dude had no ability to read
a room like none.

1836
01:53:56,400 --> 01:53:58,900
Right.
And so he would come in being

1837
01:53:58,900 --> 01:54:03,100
trying to be perfectly, you
know, trying to do his best.

1838
01:54:03,100 --> 01:54:05,000
Right?
And there were times where I was

1839
01:54:05,000 --> 01:54:07,400
like, man, I should just give
this dude, a sandwich, right?

1840
01:54:07,400 --> 01:54:09,900
As we walk in.
He'll be busy eating before.

1841
01:54:09,900 --> 01:54:12,100
He throws.
Throws me down a route, you

1842
01:54:12,100 --> 01:54:17,300
know, throws me under the bus.
But I think you bring up a great

1843
01:54:17,300 --> 01:54:22,200
Point here, Johnny.
And and that is You got to be

1844
01:54:22,200 --> 01:54:24,200
cognizant of what you say,
right.

1845
01:54:24,200 --> 01:54:29,000
And there certainly is a time to
talk about those things, but

1846
01:54:29,000 --> 01:54:31,600
that moment that's not one of
them, right?

1847
01:54:31,600 --> 01:54:36,200
And I I go back to when, when
Alma's baptizing at the Waters

1848
01:54:36,200 --> 01:54:38,700
of Mormon, right?
What is he say?

1849
01:54:38,700 --> 01:54:41,100
He says mourn with those that
mourn.

1850
01:54:41,100 --> 01:54:45,700
And sometimes I think we, as
people have a misconception of

1851
01:54:45,700 --> 01:54:49,700
what that is And you know to
Bear one another's burdens.

1852
01:54:49,700 --> 01:54:53,300
I think that goes along with it.
We have a misconception of what

1853
01:54:53,300 --> 01:54:56,800
that is.
I think as people and and look,

1854
01:54:56,800 --> 01:54:58,400
dudes are the worst at this,
right?

1855
01:54:58,400 --> 01:55:00,700
Because we're like okay there's
a problem.

1856
01:55:00,700 --> 01:55:03,800
We gotta go fix it, right?
Give me the duct tape.

1857
01:55:03,800 --> 01:55:07,000
Give me the wrench.
The WD-40 I'll get this thing

1858
01:55:07,000 --> 01:55:09,800
back up and running.
Sometimes there's not much.

1859
01:55:09,800 --> 01:55:15,400
And so what I think, I really
think that that teaching, that

1860
01:55:15,400 --> 01:55:17,800
Alma's given to everybody as
they're at the water is a Mormon

1861
01:55:17,800 --> 01:55:21,200
is that Sometimes you just sit
with people in their grief and

1862
01:55:21,200 --> 01:55:24,900
that's as good as it's going to
get in that moment and that is

1863
01:55:24,900 --> 01:55:29,600
the best thing you can do.
It said nothing about well yeah,

1864
01:55:29,600 --> 01:55:33,200
just just say inspirational
words and and that'll help

1865
01:55:33,200 --> 01:55:38,100
sometimes we just got to be in
that place with other people

1866
01:55:38,100 --> 01:55:41,400
where you're like, you know
what, you're right this sucks

1867
01:55:41,400 --> 01:55:46,400
and yeah I'm you know, I don't
have any words try to explain to

1868
01:55:46,400 --> 01:55:51,300
you why Or anything else.
But I think that's so important.

1869
01:55:51,300 --> 01:55:53,700
I think you made an excellent
point there, Joni in that.

1870
01:55:53,700 --> 01:55:56,900
Because again, and guys are the
worst at it.

1871
01:55:56,900 --> 01:56:00,100
We want to fix everything and
sometimes you can't fix it.

1872
01:56:00,100 --> 01:56:03,600
And sometimes if you're going to
do the Christ like thing, you

1873
01:56:03,600 --> 01:56:06,400
just got to go sit in the
environment that sucks with with

1874
01:56:06,400 --> 01:56:09,700
your brothers and sisters.
So, Corey, I want to get your

1875
01:56:09,700 --> 01:56:12,500
same question.
You, how did this affect your

1876
01:56:12,500 --> 01:56:14,000
relationship with God during
this?

1877
01:56:14,000 --> 01:56:17,800
This part of it.
I felt just.

1878
01:56:19,000 --> 01:56:22,100
So, comforted by my little boy,
being with us.

1879
01:56:22,900 --> 01:56:26,700
And I felt like he was defying
the odds and that goodness, he

1880
01:56:26,700 --> 01:56:28,200
was going to be with us for a
while.

1881
01:56:28,208 --> 01:56:32,000
And you know, they told us that,
you know his first week probably

1882
01:56:32,000 --> 01:56:36,000
not going to make it even the
first day and they don't expect

1883
01:56:36,000 --> 01:56:40,100
anything kind of a attitude.
And and I could just see that,

1884
01:56:40,100 --> 01:56:43,900
you know, he was started to do
well, in fact, when he, you know

1885
01:56:43,900 --> 01:56:47,600
passed, he looked like he was
going to get off oxygen and it

1886
01:56:47,600 --> 01:56:50,300
looks like, you know, he could
probably, you know, start eating

1887
01:56:50,300 --> 01:56:52,900
at some point.
It just he did seem like he was

1888
01:56:52,900 --> 01:56:54,900
getting better and I was so
grateful for that.

1889
01:56:54,900 --> 01:56:59,400
But the thing that was the
hardest. for me, was his little

1890
01:56:59,400 --> 01:57:04,000
Spirit brought such As a
wonderful positive spirit of

1891
01:57:04,000 --> 01:57:08,100
love into our home that I just
adored being around him and his

1892
01:57:08,100 --> 01:57:10,100
last day, I I just had him,
right?

1893
01:57:10,100 --> 01:57:12,000
Well, I was working on the
computer so I'm just in there

1894
01:57:12,000 --> 01:57:15,300
typing away and I had him, you
know, laying right up against me

1895
01:57:15,300 --> 01:57:20,600
and he was kind of stroking, a
little hairs on my arm and you

1896
01:57:20,600 --> 01:57:23,900
wouldn't expect to, you know, be
able to do that.

1897
01:57:23,900 --> 01:57:27,300
But I walked in and he could see
his little hand just like almost

1898
01:57:28,300 --> 01:57:30,100
He knew he knew he was
comfortable.

1899
01:57:30,100 --> 01:57:32,900
It was, it was definitely a
little Comfort type moment that

1900
01:57:32,900 --> 01:57:36,500
it was not normal for a little
three, three month old.

1901
01:57:36,500 --> 01:57:40,500
And there were times that he
would look up at and I just felt

1902
01:57:40,500 --> 01:57:43,000
a connection with him that was
just so beautiful.

1903
01:57:43,000 --> 01:57:46,700
And like, his little Spirit was
bigger than this and that I felt

1904
01:57:46,700 --> 01:57:49,000
the love of God.
So much in my life that I felt

1905
01:57:49,000 --> 01:57:54,100
like I was Definitely.
The level of comfort that I

1906
01:57:54,100 --> 01:57:55,900
fell.
And the level of the spirit that

1907
01:57:55,900 --> 01:57:59,400
was that I was experiencing by
being his little father and just

1908
01:57:59,400 --> 01:58:02,900
having him in our home was
extra, extra special, it's just

1909
01:58:02,900 --> 01:58:05,200
the kind of thing.
You just don't ever forget.

1910
01:58:05,200 --> 01:58:08,100
It's the kind of thing that just
changes your heart and soul you

1911
01:58:08,100 --> 01:58:12,400
like I would never look at
someone who's disabled or You

1912
01:58:12,400 --> 01:58:15,000
know.
Dealing with challenges the same

1913
01:58:15,000 --> 01:58:19,500
way, just some are the greatest
spirits that we have on this

1914
01:58:19,500 --> 01:58:21,700
Earth.
And you was definitely one of

1915
01:58:21,700 --> 01:58:25,300
them to me and I I felt like
heavenly father, had him here,

1916
01:58:25,300 --> 01:58:29,800
just longer especially to
comfort me and to help me feel

1917
01:58:29,800 --> 01:58:32,600
God's love more.
So I feel like more than

1918
01:58:32,600 --> 01:58:38,000
anything that is the message
that of him sticking around and

1919
01:58:38,000 --> 01:58:48,200
I feel like, I wasn't angry at
God over it, but I was I had a

1920
01:58:48,200 --> 01:58:50,600
sense of loss that I was hard to
articulate.

1921
01:58:50,600 --> 01:58:55,100
My heart was so wounded and so
sensitive to his loss.

1922
01:58:55,100 --> 01:58:58,100
Like I never would have
imagined, I could feel my

1923
01:58:58,100 --> 01:59:01,600
heartstrings pulled more.
I would not have imagined the

1924
01:59:02,900 --> 01:59:06,000
sense of loss that I felt even
knowing that he was struggling

1925
01:59:06,000 --> 01:59:08,800
with health challenges and then
everyone said he wasn't going to

1926
01:59:08,808 --> 01:59:11,200
be around.
I still didn't prepare me for

1927
01:59:11,200 --> 01:59:13,900
the loss that I fell inside and
out.

1928
01:59:15,200 --> 01:59:21,000
The depth. of feelings that I
would go through with him not

1929
01:59:21,000 --> 01:59:27,300
being around and it just makes
me I thought about him pretty

1930
01:59:27,300 --> 01:59:31,500
much every day since like he's
kind of the the standard of

1931
01:59:32,500 --> 01:59:35,400
families are forever that we are
going to be together and I just

1932
01:59:35,400 --> 01:59:38,000
look forward to that day where I
give him the biggest hug ever.

1933
01:59:38,800 --> 01:59:42,700
and that I live my life where
I'm worthy to be with him, and

1934
01:59:42,700 --> 01:59:50,000
that I'm the kind of parent and
husband and and, person that I'm

1935
01:59:50,000 --> 01:59:52,800
like my Father in heaven, where
my father in Heaven's grateful

1936
01:59:52,800 --> 01:59:57,000
to be around me and then I I'm
not that kind of person that

1937
01:59:57,000 --> 01:59:59,900
I've developed that kind of
character to be in his presence

1938
01:59:59,900 --> 02:00:07,800
and Just to feel that.
Yeah, a very strong learning

1939
02:00:07,800 --> 02:00:09,800
experience.
You know, you think of Abraham

1940
02:00:09,800 --> 02:00:12,900
and what are the things that
will tug, your heartstrings the

1941
02:00:12,900 --> 02:00:15,600
most in life?
Well, senior cute little child

1942
02:00:15,600 --> 02:00:20,800
go, that's one of the hardest.
Senior best friends.

1943
02:00:20,800 --> 02:00:25,300
Go.
Not understanding the gospel and

1944
02:00:25,300 --> 02:00:28,600
feeling evil presences and then
feeling the love of God in your

1945
02:00:28,608 --> 02:00:31,500
heart and having all of those
roller coaster experiences.

1946
02:00:32,300 --> 02:00:36,900
Very intense on something.
I'm hopeful that everyone around

1947
02:00:36,900 --> 02:00:40,200
me has hope.
Hopefully everyone has an

1948
02:00:40,200 --> 02:00:43,100
experience of having more of
heavenly father spirit in their

1949
02:00:43,100 --> 02:00:47,700
life and a greater understanding
of their value and their

1950
02:00:47,700 --> 02:00:51,200
goodness because every person on
this Earth is a child of our

1951
02:00:51,200 --> 02:00:55,000
Heavenly Father which makes
Everyone listening to this

1952
02:00:55,000 --> 02:00:58,900
profoundly beautiful and
profoundly important and

1953
02:00:58,900 --> 02:01:02,800
profoundly wonderful, especially
in our character, whatever we

1954
02:01:02,800 --> 02:01:05,100
are today.
That doesn't matter the

1955
02:01:05,100 --> 02:01:07,400
stupidest things.
We could possibly do.

1956
02:01:07,400 --> 02:01:14,200
Can all be forgiven, the The
love of our savior and his

1957
02:01:14,200 --> 02:01:18,600
atoning sacrifice for us.
Can absolutely fix anything that

1958
02:01:18,600 --> 02:01:22,700
we've done and bring us.
Bring our character back where

1959
02:01:22,700 --> 02:01:25,600
we are comfortable in his
presence.

1960
02:01:25,600 --> 02:01:29,300
If we just keep working at it,
if we just keep at it and just

1961
02:01:30,200 --> 02:01:31,800
Try to develop that love in our
heart.

1962
02:01:31,800 --> 02:01:33,800
The kind of love that I have for
my little boy.

1963
02:01:33,800 --> 02:01:36,900
The kind of love I have for
Joanie and if you can just feel

1964
02:01:36,900 --> 02:01:42,000
that for anyone see if you can
share that love with your

1965
02:01:42,000 --> 02:01:45,100
neighbor more.
So anyone around you expand that

1966
02:01:45,100 --> 02:01:48,100
you know to your neighbor as
much as you can and you know,

1967
02:01:48,100 --> 02:01:51,400
ask for that gift to be giving
you because the gift of Charity

1968
02:01:51,400 --> 02:01:54,800
is a gift and you have to ask
for it it won't just come but

1969
02:01:54,800 --> 02:01:56,700
he'll give it to every one of
us.

1970
02:01:56,700 --> 02:01:59,900
And at that point then we become
like our father and have them

1971
02:01:59,900 --> 02:02:03,800
because we have that That
charity within us, feeling our

1972
02:02:03,800 --> 02:02:05,900
heart and we feel like serving
other people.

1973
02:02:05,900 --> 02:02:09,000
We feel like lifting them.
We we never want to hurt another

1974
02:02:09,000 --> 02:02:12,200
person but we're gonna probably
do it because we're dominant.

1975
02:02:12,200 --> 02:02:17,100
We it's easy for us to oh, To
say they're wrong thing.

1976
02:02:17,100 --> 02:02:20,200
Kind of like you know where
these people are saying to Joni.

1977
02:02:20,200 --> 02:02:23,000
It's like well you can always
have another kid or you know,

1978
02:02:23,000 --> 02:02:24,800
he's gonna be okay in the next
slide.

1979
02:02:24,800 --> 02:02:27,600
You know, he's going to be with
you and it's like you feel like

1980
02:02:27,600 --> 02:02:30,900
nearly in tears because you just
miss him so bad and not just

1981
02:02:30,900 --> 02:02:36,600
does not does nothing to Take
away that hurt that you feel in

1982
02:02:36,600 --> 02:02:38,700
that moment.
And there's things, you know,

1983
02:02:38,700 --> 02:02:41,700
some of us will lose our jobs
and we feel like it's the end.

1984
02:02:41,700 --> 02:02:44,900
We don't feel like we can, we
can make it, you know, we have

1985
02:02:44,900 --> 02:02:47,900
no prospects, you know, Joni was
single a long time.

1986
02:02:47,900 --> 02:02:51,600
And um, look at all these guys
out here, this doesn't look

1987
02:02:51,600 --> 02:02:54,100
good.
And then for me, too, I believe

1988
02:02:54,100 --> 02:02:56,600
in the Constitution, I believe
in Freedom, in a different

1989
02:02:56,608 --> 02:02:59,000
level.
I don't like where our countries

1990
02:02:59,000 --> 02:03:02,700
going and yet much of our
society is embracing principles

1991
02:03:02,700 --> 02:03:06,200
and ideas that are against
things, I believe in at my core.

1992
02:03:06,200 --> 02:03:10,300
And so how would I find a girl
who fits those kind of values

1993
02:03:10,300 --> 02:03:16,900
and Joni is that kind of person
and I've met so many, you know,

1994
02:03:16,900 --> 02:03:21,300
in the LDS church, some some of
the girls I dated at BYU and and

1995
02:03:21,300 --> 02:03:26,200
I actually dated some
fundamentalists on girls and

1996
02:03:26,200 --> 02:03:30,200
they have been some of the most
wholesome good sweet spirited

1997
02:03:30,200 --> 02:03:33,100
women I've ever met.
And so it's like, oh, these are

1998
02:03:33,100 --> 02:03:35,000
the cream of the crop.
These are the best Of the best

1999
02:03:35,000 --> 02:03:39,900
of our society.
Let me ask this question here

2000
02:03:39,900 --> 02:03:43,200
and I think this will wrap
everything up, before we go into

2001
02:03:43,200 --> 02:03:48,700
covid here, a little bit. when
you're in the middle of that,

2002
02:03:48,700 --> 02:03:54,500
anyone who's been touched by
Death, as, as Joanie was

2003
02:03:54,508 --> 02:03:59,000
alluding to it's kind of like
being in the middle of a fight

2004
02:03:59,000 --> 02:04:03,100
or in the middle of a struggle,
right?

2005
02:04:03,100 --> 02:04:07,900
You're not thinking about
reviewing the game film so to

2006
02:04:07,900 --> 02:04:12,200
speak in that moment, right?
Because you are in it at what

2007
02:04:12,200 --> 02:04:18,400
point does?
Do those gospel promises start

2008
02:04:18,400 --> 02:04:21,600
to come to the Forefront of your
mind again, right?

2009
02:04:21,600 --> 02:04:25,000
Because as Joan, as you were
saying Joni and Corey, you're in

2010
02:04:25,000 --> 02:04:27,400
the middle of it, right?
And so you don't want to hear

2011
02:04:27,400 --> 02:04:29,100
about how families can be
together.

2012
02:04:30,300 --> 02:04:32,900
Because you want your kids right
now, right?

2013
02:04:32,900 --> 02:04:37,400
So at what point do those do?
Those promises begin to come

2014
02:04:37,400 --> 02:04:42,800
forward again.
Our Bishop at Trevor's funeral

2015
02:04:42,800 --> 02:04:48,100
talked about.
How Joseph Smith taught that a

2016
02:04:48,100 --> 02:04:50,500
child who dies?
Before the age of eight

2017
02:04:50,500 --> 02:04:55,300
automatically becomes goes into
the Celestial Kingdom, but and

2018
02:04:55,300 --> 02:04:58,500
elaborating on that, too.
He said that.

2019
02:05:00,000 --> 02:05:04,200
And when you're a baby's Spirit
leaves their bodies, they are an

2020
02:05:04,200 --> 02:05:07,800
adult.
And they are doing important

2021
02:05:07,800 --> 02:05:11,500
work and then during the
Millennium, you'll hold your

2022
02:05:11,508 --> 02:05:13,900
baby again and you'll get to
raise them.

2023
02:05:14,700 --> 02:05:18,500
So knowing that and believing
that with my whole heart was

2024
02:05:18,500 --> 02:05:21,900
really what helped me and
segwaying into Corey getting

2025
02:05:21,907 --> 02:05:28,300
sick and almost dying with
covid, too was You know, what's

2026
02:05:28,300 --> 02:05:31,100
it's hard on birthdays and
things like that.

2027
02:05:31,100 --> 02:05:33,200
You think your heart?
Just breaks because you're like,

2028
02:05:33,200 --> 02:05:37,500
oh I would have he'd be six,
man, six, he'd be turning

2029
02:05:37,500 --> 02:05:39,300
before.
What would he be like, you know,

2030
02:05:39,308 --> 02:05:42,200
about that kind of a thing
picture and it breaks her heart

2031
02:05:42,200 --> 02:05:47,000
and, you know, you experience
the loss again and again every

2032
02:05:47,000 --> 02:05:52,100
anniversary because you're
You're hearing for what might

2033
02:05:52,100 --> 02:05:55,300
have been.
But the the thing that the

2034
02:05:55,300 --> 02:06:01,400
gospel gives us to me, is this
idea that The Trevor that is

2035
02:06:01,400 --> 02:06:05,400
alive right now, is an adult and
a celestials being.

2036
02:06:05,400 --> 02:06:11,200
And he's An angel.
He's part of my family still and

2037
02:06:11,200 --> 02:06:15,000
I mean, I won't go into all the
details as we get into covid.

2038
02:06:15,000 --> 02:06:20,400
Corey's covid story.
But Very much he was there to

2039
02:06:20,400 --> 02:06:22,500
help.
Yeah, we've got a couple stories

2040
02:06:22,500 --> 02:06:25,600
there about that.
Just make a lot of sense, as far

2041
02:06:25,608 --> 02:06:28,600
as him kind of intervening and
comforting me.

2042
02:06:28,600 --> 02:06:30,600
That was one of my prayers, and
I would pray.

2043
02:06:30,600 --> 02:06:34,700
You know, people think well,
that I know there's some debates

2044
02:06:34,700 --> 02:06:36,600
online about, well, you
shouldn't pray to heavenly

2045
02:06:36,600 --> 02:06:39,300
mother, you shouldn't pray this
or, you know, we don't worship

2046
02:06:39,300 --> 02:06:41,200
our ancestors, so we don't pray
to him.

2047
02:06:41,200 --> 02:06:45,600
But I've, I've had experiences
where I say, Trevor, I need this

2048
02:06:45,600 --> 02:06:49,500
Trevor.
Take care of Corey for me

2049
02:06:49,500 --> 02:06:55,000
because he was in the ICU back
when I couldn't go, they

2050
02:06:55,000 --> 02:06:59,000
wouldn't let me in, you know.
So it was very much and I don't

2051
02:06:59,000 --> 02:07:01,400
think there's anything wrong
with that personally.

2052
02:07:01,400 --> 02:07:04,800
It's like you know what, your
prayers are between you and God

2053
02:07:04,800 --> 02:07:10,700
but no Trevor's very real to me
and he's real not just as a baby

2054
02:07:10,700 --> 02:07:15,000
or a six year old that.
I don't get a hold right now but

2055
02:07:15,000 --> 02:07:18,800
in the future but he's an adult
and a guardian angel that I feel

2056
02:07:18,800 --> 02:07:23,300
very close sometimes and I know
he was there with Corey when I

2057
02:07:23,308 --> 02:07:29,400
asked him to beat their You
know, I I want to say this

2058
02:07:29,400 --> 02:07:36,400
before we move on.
Um, Mormonism is not like

2059
02:07:36,400 --> 02:07:40,400
secular Christianity.
And I don't say that to be

2060
02:07:40,400 --> 02:07:43,100
little, secular Christians.
That's not why I'm saying this.

2061
02:07:43,800 --> 02:07:46,500
But our theology is a bit
different, right?

2062
02:07:46,500 --> 02:07:53,300
And certainly Our prayers should
always go through God, however.

2063
02:07:55,300 --> 02:07:59,500
If Joseph.
If Joseph is correct in what he

2064
02:07:59,500 --> 02:08:04,000
says about families being
together forever and that it's

2065
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:10,700
so important that we need to.
Do our Temple work so that we

2066
02:08:10,700 --> 02:08:13,700
can be sealed back together.
The Lord makes it clear so

2067
02:08:13,700 --> 02:08:16,500
important that if it's not done,
when he comes back, what happens

2068
02:08:16,500 --> 02:08:21,400
to the world utterly wasted?
So, I don't think it's out of

2069
02:08:21,407 --> 02:08:24,200
the realm of, of certainty, in
my opinion.

2070
02:08:25,100 --> 02:08:29,300
That this idea of talking to you
to your family on the other

2071
02:08:29,300 --> 02:08:34,000
side.
Yeah, is out of step with

2072
02:08:34,000 --> 02:08:38,400
Orthodox Mormonism, right?
It doesn't hold weight at all,

2073
02:08:38,400 --> 02:08:41,600
you know?
Kind of go along with what you

2074
02:08:41,600 --> 02:08:42,700
said there.
I remember.

2075
02:08:43,900 --> 02:08:47,800
My dad when when he met my mom,
when I was born.

2076
02:08:47,800 --> 02:08:53,300
Um he was a diesel mechanic.
So the house always smelled like

2077
02:08:53,300 --> 02:08:56,100
diesel, right?
And I I can't think anyone who

2078
02:08:56,100 --> 02:08:59,500
hasn't ever smelt diesel, but if
you haven't, it smells different

2079
02:08:59,500 --> 02:09:01,200
than gasoline.
It's a different smell.

2080
02:09:02,800 --> 02:09:08,300
And my dad had lost a child in a
previous marriage and from SIDS

2081
02:09:08,300 --> 02:09:11,600
and so messed with him to the
day he died, he'd walk into my

2082
02:09:11,600 --> 02:09:15,000
room.
Gosh to the day, he went to the

2083
02:09:15,008 --> 02:09:19,100
hospital and just at night, he
just put his hand either on my

2084
02:09:19,108 --> 02:09:23,300
back or he put his finger under
my nose to see if I was

2085
02:09:23,300 --> 02:09:27,200
breathing, right?
And so that diesel smell a on,

2086
02:09:27,200 --> 02:09:32,400
his hands was always present.
and I remember one night shortly

2087
02:09:32,400 --> 02:09:35,200
after we had Shouldn't say
shortly.

2088
02:09:35,200 --> 02:09:36,600
It was probably three or four
months.

2089
02:09:37,900 --> 02:09:45,800
Before after we had my oldest
boy. and um, We we hadn't had an

2090
02:09:45,808 --> 02:09:49,700
old crib, right?
Like an old antique crib and the

2091
02:09:49,700 --> 02:09:52,100
slacks Between the Bars were a
little wider.

2092
02:09:53,000 --> 02:09:54,900
Than normal.
It was handmade.

2093
02:09:57,300 --> 02:10:02,000
It was about two 2:30 in the
morning and I remember, I

2094
02:10:02,000 --> 02:10:06,900
started to smell diesel.
I mean, hundred strong diesel.

2095
02:10:07,500 --> 02:10:10,900
And I was like, what and the,
you know, my first thought is

2096
02:10:10,900 --> 02:10:14,700
someone dowsing in my house like
it was at, and it was summer.

2097
02:10:14,700 --> 02:10:17,800
So like I was like, if someone
screwing around out there,

2098
02:10:17,800 --> 02:10:19,800
right?
Like it was that pungent?

2099
02:10:20,600 --> 02:10:24,700
And I followed the smell and it
went down to my son's room. and

2100
02:10:24,700 --> 02:10:30,500
he'd wedged his head in between
there, those slats and then had

2101
02:10:30,500 --> 02:10:34,900
managed to twist himself in a
real weird position and had he

2102
02:10:34,900 --> 02:10:38,500
moved just another fraction of
an inch one way or another.

2103
02:10:39,200 --> 02:10:41,900
Because the blanket had all
wrapped and wrapped itself

2104
02:10:41,900 --> 02:10:43,600
around him.
He was gonna, he was gonna

2105
02:10:43,600 --> 02:10:46,500
suffocate and I remember I went
back there and told, you know,

2106
02:10:46,500 --> 02:10:48,500
got him repositioned and
everything.

2107
02:10:50,100 --> 02:10:53,300
Actually I took him out and had
him sleep in his bassinet and

2108
02:10:53,300 --> 02:10:56,200
next to me that night and it's
like, well, I'll work on that

2109
02:10:56,200 --> 02:11:00,700
crib in the morning, but the
that Veil is so thin, so thin.

2110
02:11:00,700 --> 02:11:05,300
And I think sometimes we think
of it way more as a door, or a

2111
02:11:05,300 --> 02:11:09,000
wall as a post to a thin wispy
fail.

2112
02:11:09,700 --> 02:11:14,100
And so I don't think that's out
of the, like I said, out of the

2113
02:11:14,108 --> 02:11:16,400
pail of Orthodoxy by any stretch
of the imagination.

2114
02:11:16,400 --> 02:11:21,500
So, All right, Corey.
Let's uh, yeah, let's let's move

2115
02:11:21,500 --> 02:11:23,400
along here.
So in 2020.

2116
02:11:23,400 --> 02:11:27,000
Now you guys go through all of
this heartbreaking stuff with,

2117
02:11:27,000 --> 02:11:29,500
with Trevor your son.
Yes.

2118
02:11:29,500 --> 02:11:34,800
And then you like, how long was
it between that and the time you

2119
02:11:34,800 --> 02:11:40,200
contracted covid?
Core Right about a year or

2120
02:11:40,200 --> 02:11:45,700
something, but it was not, I got
sick, November 5th, 2021.

2121
02:11:45,700 --> 02:11:49,600
So it was the end of like the
pandemic that he got really

2122
02:11:49,600 --> 02:11:53,100
sick.
So it was a year into covid and

2123
02:11:53,100 --> 02:11:56,000
he was hospitalized a few weeks
later.

2124
02:11:56,000 --> 02:11:59,300
Well the the thing was is like
kovid.

2125
02:11:59,300 --> 02:12:03,300
You know, for me everybody was
talking about hits the end of

2126
02:12:03,308 --> 02:12:04,900
the world.
Be very careful.

2127
02:12:04,900 --> 02:12:09,000
You know mask up and this is
just super contagious and in my

2128
02:12:09,000 --> 02:12:11,300
mind look I've only been sick a
few times in my life.

2129
02:12:11,300 --> 02:12:14,300
I you know have been used to
training for decades, you know,

2130
02:12:14,308 --> 02:12:19,100
15 to 30 hours a week.
I just really was fairly immune

2131
02:12:19,100 --> 02:12:23,700
to feeling like Josh, you know,
a few times, you know, in a

2132
02:12:23,708 --> 02:12:26,100
decade I might get sniffles for
a day or two.

2133
02:12:26,100 --> 02:12:29,900
And I generally not be like, I
would take a day off or sit, you

2134
02:12:29,900 --> 02:12:32,400
know, on a couch and watch
movies or something.

2135
02:12:32,400 --> 02:12:36,600
I just is not something that was
part of my My life at all.

2136
02:12:36,600 --> 02:12:39,300
And most people that know me.
They've never seen me ever have

2137
02:12:39,300 --> 02:12:44,100
a down day and then I guess the
idea of me ever getting sick

2138
02:12:44,100 --> 02:12:46,500
with covid.
Just seemed so remote and, and

2139
02:12:46,500 --> 02:12:49,800
not something that I could ever
get butt.

2140
02:12:51,000 --> 02:12:54,900
One of our close friends here
and ended up getting sick with

2141
02:12:54,900 --> 02:12:59,600
covid here in Pima.
But we actually moved to Arizona

2142
02:12:59,600 --> 02:13:02,700
from Salt Lake because the
shutdowns had created so much

2143
02:13:02,708 --> 02:13:05,600
Insanity.
When we went shopping, our gym

2144
02:13:05,600 --> 02:13:10,900
was closed and people at church.
They had shut down church and

2145
02:13:10,900 --> 02:13:14,500
just we felt very uncomfortable
with that environment and felt

2146
02:13:14,500 --> 02:13:18,400
like just going with Joni's
family, in a small town, where

2147
02:13:18,400 --> 02:13:25,900
people had some semblance of
sanity and anyway, Joni's dear

2148
02:13:25,900 --> 02:13:29,300
neighbors, asked for a blessing
and I just thought, well, of

2149
02:13:29,300 --> 02:13:32,000
course, you know, I'm going to
go over and give them these

2150
02:13:32,008 --> 02:13:38,600
guys, a blessing and ended ended
up that they're very runny eyes.

2151
02:13:38,600 --> 02:13:41,600
She could barely move.
She didn't even want to move on

2152
02:13:41,600 --> 02:13:43,600
the couch.
So that's my best friend's mom.

2153
02:13:43,600 --> 02:13:45,800
So this is like my second mom
growing up.

2154
02:13:45,800 --> 02:13:48,200
Yeah.
Very involved in her life.

2155
02:13:48,200 --> 02:13:54,800
In fact we had our our wedding
reception and their home and

2156
02:13:54,800 --> 02:13:57,300
they were on a mission so they
were still wanted us to have

2157
02:13:57,300 --> 02:14:00,700
that at their home.
A very special people.

2158
02:14:01,600 --> 02:14:05,700
And I just felt impressed to
give her husband a blessing that

2159
02:14:05,700 --> 02:14:09,200
said he would be healed and in a
couple days and I just got that

2160
02:14:09,200 --> 02:14:11,200
strong impression.
That's just what I said to him.

2161
02:14:11,200 --> 02:14:13,700
I said, you know, God is going
to show you his his love and his

2162
02:14:13,700 --> 02:14:16,500
power and the next couple days
and then she'll be all right.

2163
02:14:17,400 --> 02:14:23,900
and I guess, He came home and I
said, well, what about Joanne,

2164
02:14:23,900 --> 02:14:26,600
what?
What did my my dad bless her.

2165
02:14:26,600 --> 02:14:29,700
So, what my dad, what did my dad
say in her blessing?

2166
02:14:29,700 --> 02:14:34,300
And was like I don't know and I
just had that sinking feeling.

2167
02:14:34,300 --> 02:14:37,500
Yeah, I didn't.
I was curious as to why he

2168
02:14:37,508 --> 02:14:40,400
didn't kind of command her to be
healed because I felt a really

2169
02:14:40,400 --> 02:14:42,100
strong impression that he was
gonna be just fine.

2170
02:14:42,100 --> 02:14:47,700
And that's kind of what I said.
So and it just really broke my

2171
02:14:47,700 --> 02:14:50,500
heart to hear you know in the
hospital she didn't actually

2172
02:14:50,500 --> 02:14:53,800
tell me that she had passed
while I was in the hospital, I

2173
02:14:53,800 --> 02:14:57,500
just was like, wow I was in
tears we ended up watching the

2174
02:14:57,500 --> 02:15:01,100
funeral while I was there and in
the hospital bed you know online

2175
02:15:02,100 --> 02:15:05,000
And right before the funeral
because I wasn't sure he would

2176
02:15:05,000 --> 02:15:07,900
be able to handle it.
So that was important, it's very

2177
02:15:07,907 --> 02:15:10,500
hard, it's very hard physically
what I was dealing with.

2178
02:15:10,500 --> 02:15:13,700
So yeah, I'm glad she did and
actually it was that where you

2179
02:15:13,700 --> 02:15:20,100
can attracted covid from Corey?
Well, well my family got sick

2180
02:15:20,100 --> 02:15:24,000
and you know Corey had kind of
that bravado of.

2181
02:15:24,000 --> 02:15:27,900
Well, I'm not gonna get sick and
I remember feeling kind of like

2182
02:15:27,900 --> 02:15:31,400
a feeling in my heart like my
heart was pierced like this

2183
02:15:31,407 --> 02:15:37,000
Blackness and it wasn't the same
as like a feeling of like when

2184
02:15:37,000 --> 02:15:40,400
the Holy Ghost tells you not to
do something, it was not that it

2185
02:15:40,400 --> 02:15:42,400
was not that but I had a
premonition.

2186
02:15:42,400 --> 02:15:46,600
Like, he's not not that I could
vocalize like I didn't know he

2187
02:15:46,600 --> 02:15:49,800
was gonna get sick, but that
something really evil was

2188
02:15:49,800 --> 02:15:52,100
happening in the world.
Basically, kind of a feeling,

2189
02:15:52,100 --> 02:15:58,300
you know, just just appearing to
my heart but you know, from our

2190
02:15:58,300 --> 02:16:03,500
perspective of Faith but never
withhold him, going to give you

2191
02:16:03,500 --> 02:16:06,100
know, someone who I love dearly
a blessing.

2192
02:16:06,100 --> 02:16:11,000
So technically, my family was
sick prior to that.

2193
02:16:11,000 --> 02:16:15,300
And so I mean we had viral load,
probably from multiple.

2194
02:16:16,300 --> 02:16:19,900
People but it was right when the
Delta wave hit and was really

2195
02:16:19,900 --> 02:16:23,800
strong and they were very very
sick.

2196
02:16:23,800 --> 02:16:26,600
By the time they asked for that
priests to blessing.

2197
02:16:26,600 --> 02:16:28,800
Like they should have been
hospitalized sooner.

2198
02:16:28,800 --> 02:16:31,200
Yeah, they look terrible.
It was actually a little scary.

2199
02:16:31,200 --> 02:16:32,799
I don't think I've ever seen
somebody.

2200
02:16:32,799 --> 02:16:35,100
I've given a blessing to even in
the hospital.

2201
02:16:35,100 --> 02:16:38,200
The looked worse than those two.
They look bad.

2202
02:16:38,200 --> 02:16:41,299
Their eyes were just running and
could barely move and just

2203
02:16:42,200 --> 02:16:45,200
sweating and just fever just
very weak.

2204
02:16:47,500 --> 02:16:49,700
Can I ask a question here?
Kind of a personal question.

2205
02:16:49,700 --> 02:16:53,000
You don't have to answer if you
don't want to, but you regret

2206
02:16:53,000 --> 02:16:56,100
that now, Giving away.
Absolutely not.

2207
02:16:56,100 --> 02:17:00,299
I I literally good man.
I feel like I'm here on this

2208
02:17:00,299 --> 02:17:02,700
Earth, man.
Servant and and bless everybody

2209
02:17:02,700 --> 02:17:07,100
as best I can.
And and I feel grateful that I

2210
02:17:07,100 --> 02:17:10,500
was able to give him the
blessing and have the priesthood

2211
02:17:10,500 --> 02:17:14,500
to to be that guy.
I feel like I was a little

2212
02:17:14,500 --> 02:17:17,400
frustrated to hear that church
leadership kind of came out

2213
02:17:17,400 --> 02:17:21,600
sometime ago and said you know
we discourage you giving

2214
02:17:21,600 --> 02:17:23,400
blessings.
I'm like well don't we have

2215
02:17:23,400 --> 02:17:26,900
faith, you know, don't we have
the priesthood, don't we, you

2216
02:17:26,900 --> 02:17:30,500
know, believe in God and yeah,
you know, it is this strange

2217
02:17:30,500 --> 02:17:33,600
thing for me to have gotten
covid because, you know, I've

2218
02:17:33,600 --> 02:17:37,299
all my family and friends,
they're kind of speechless

2219
02:17:37,299 --> 02:17:40,799
because, okay, I'm the guy that
didn't eat sugar growing up.

2220
02:17:40,799 --> 02:17:45,400
I was a competitive gymnastics
school, high level discipline,

2221
02:17:45,400 --> 02:17:50,400
no junk food, no processed foods
and training, you know, pretty

2222
02:17:50,400 --> 02:17:54,500
much an hour day or more.
And then I And just taken down

2223
02:17:54,508 --> 02:17:57,400
like, nobody's business.
I, yeah, we'll get right into.

2224
02:17:57,400 --> 02:17:59,000
What what that was like.
For me.

2225
02:17:59,000 --> 02:18:04,100
Covid is hold on one second.
I just want to make sure I got

2226
02:18:04,100 --> 02:18:07,000
the story straight here.
So Joanie you caught it first,

2227
02:18:07,000 --> 02:18:08,400
right?
Yeah.

2228
02:18:09,200 --> 02:18:14,000
How was it for you?
so, and that was part of Like

2229
02:18:14,000 --> 02:18:18,400
looking back a mistake I made is
I assumed he was experiencing

2230
02:18:18,400 --> 02:18:20,799
the same thing.
I was experiencing when he was

2231
02:18:20,799 --> 02:18:22,500
it it was one of the worst
sicknesses.

2232
02:18:22,500 --> 02:18:24,900
I've had it never went into my
lungs, though.

2233
02:18:24,900 --> 02:18:29,299
It was all upper respiratory.
The worst achy fever I've ever

2234
02:18:29,299 --> 02:18:32,500
had.
And I was weak for like months

2235
02:18:32,500 --> 02:18:36,400
after it and I lost clumps of
hair like so, I mean, I had long

2236
02:18:36,400 --> 02:18:42,100
term covid effects, but I was
not ever to the point of my

2237
02:18:42,100 --> 02:18:47,200
deathbed Gotcha, gotcha.
Okay so Corey, what's the first

2238
02:18:47,200 --> 02:18:50,900
symptom?
You started noticing Um, started

2239
02:18:50,900 --> 02:18:54,700
to feel kind of a little bit of
a runny runny nose, like, you

2240
02:18:54,700 --> 02:18:57,100
know, I've got stuff.
I got a blow, my nose, a bit

2241
02:18:57,108 --> 02:18:58,900
more.
I'm just a little bit less

2242
02:18:58,900 --> 02:19:04,500
energy. and, I guess in my mind
not that big a deal.

2243
02:19:04,508 --> 02:19:08,100
I'm gonna be good because for me
I just really bounced back from

2244
02:19:08,100 --> 02:19:12,799
anything and so And this was the
first time I wasn't gonna bounce

2245
02:19:12,799 --> 02:19:18,100
back from something like this.
And the first, the first few

2246
02:19:18,100 --> 02:19:22,900
days we heard about taking
Ivermectin and hydrochloro and

2247
02:19:22,900 --> 02:19:24,799
just some of the things that
were being recommended online,

2248
02:19:24,799 --> 02:19:28,299
like quickly, get that in you
and we talked to a doctor

2249
02:19:29,600 --> 02:19:35,000
naturopath, and we learned later
from another doctor who will

2250
02:19:35,000 --> 02:19:38,000
introduce better at a different
part of the story, but that

2251
02:19:39,400 --> 02:19:42,700
covid actually has three phases.
And Ivermectin, only works in

2252
02:19:42,700 --> 02:19:45,900
the first phase, it's the viral
replication that it's that it

2253
02:19:45,900 --> 02:19:51,500
helps when that is stops and
that phase Sometimes happens

2254
02:19:51,500 --> 02:19:54,800
before you're even sick.
So that's why you have, you

2255
02:19:54,800 --> 02:19:58,400
know, people who swear by
Ivermectin and instead of that

2256
02:19:58,400 --> 02:20:00,000
maybe aren't as strong and
Ivermectin.

2257
02:20:00,000 --> 02:20:02,400
So, Ivermectin.
Absolutely is a good, a good

2258
02:20:02,400 --> 02:20:05,600
thing for covid, but you have to
take it at the right time, and

2259
02:20:05,600 --> 02:20:07,500
that's what we learned with with
Corey.

2260
02:20:07,500 --> 02:20:10,900
It was, we got him Ivermectin,
but it was too late.

2261
02:20:10,900 --> 02:20:13,700
By the time, the prescription
was filled for it to have been

2262
02:20:13,708 --> 02:20:16,200
helpful.
You have to have a day or nine

2263
02:20:16,200 --> 02:20:18,200
in this case.
And there are so many things

2264
02:20:18,200 --> 02:20:20,600
that we just really did not
understand very well.

2265
02:20:20,600 --> 02:20:23,000
And obviously, you know, they
shut down kind of the

2266
02:20:23,008 --> 02:20:26,000
conversation on line about this,
which is, you know, the most

2267
02:20:26,000 --> 02:20:29,000
heartbreaking thing because
there were answers and this

2268
02:20:29,000 --> 02:20:32,100
didn't have to happen where, you
know, millions of people didn't

2269
02:20:32,100 --> 02:20:35,400
have to die over this.
They were ways to stop this

2270
02:20:35,400 --> 02:20:38,100
virus from replicating and
affecting so many people.

2271
02:20:38,100 --> 02:20:43,300
Pretty much instantaneously.
yeah, and again, more of the

2272
02:20:43,308 --> 02:20:46,800
story on what happened and what,
What kind of brought me back to

2273
02:20:46,800 --> 02:20:50,200
life again?
You know, it's nuts, right?

2274
02:20:50,200 --> 02:20:56,600
Because I remember When covid
happened really hard, my my

2275
02:20:56,600 --> 02:21:00,700
oldest son lost his job.
And he was still Just kind of in

2276
02:21:00,700 --> 02:21:02,700
school, make trying to make ends
meet that sort of thing.

2277
02:21:02,700 --> 02:21:06,000
So we had a downstairs, finish
debate apartment in our

2278
02:21:06,000 --> 02:21:08,800
basement, we just told him and
his wife and his daughter to

2279
02:21:08,800 --> 02:21:18,700
come live with us and I'm While
there they got covid. and, I'm

2280
02:21:18,700 --> 02:21:20,900
gonna be careful here because I
got need to be real careful.

2281
02:21:21,800 --> 02:21:25,000
I know a guy.
Who got his hands on some

2282
02:21:25,000 --> 02:21:28,000
Ivermectin, right?
And it was early, it was like

2283
02:21:28,000 --> 02:21:31,900
the first two days and so dude,
it was the strange like I look

2284
02:21:31,900 --> 02:21:34,600
everyone.
I've made it very clear here on

2285
02:21:34,600 --> 02:21:36,300
the podcast.
I grew up rough, right.

2286
02:21:36,300 --> 02:21:39,400
But all sudden I felt like I was
back in my teenage days trying

2287
02:21:39,400 --> 02:21:42,200
to buy some weed, right?
Because I'm going behind the

2288
02:21:42,200 --> 02:21:46,100
back alley to get Ivermectin,
right?

2289
02:21:46,100 --> 02:21:50,900
Like, I remember, yeah, cuz cuz
doctors just wouldn't prescribe

2290
02:21:50,900 --> 02:21:53,500
it, right?
No, it's like it didn't matter

2291
02:21:53,500 --> 02:21:56,800
how much trouble for us.
Yeah, it didn't matter how much

2292
02:21:56,800 --> 02:22:01,000
documentation you had, how much
study you had like, it was, it

2293
02:22:01,000 --> 02:22:04,900
was the safest protocol for
covid that there was right.

2294
02:22:04,900 --> 02:22:09,600
This is a drug that has been on
the market for decades in the

2295
02:22:09,600 --> 02:22:12,800
guy who created it won the
Nobel, Peace Prize for curing

2296
02:22:12,800 --> 02:22:17,400
river blindness with it.
Um, you can't really OD on it,

2297
02:22:17,400 --> 02:22:19,200
right?
Like it was the safest

2298
02:22:19,200 --> 02:22:22,500
medication that you could take
four covid and was effective.

2299
02:22:22,500 --> 02:22:24,900
And they just shut It down.
They just said, you're not

2300
02:22:24,900 --> 02:22:28,900
getting that.
Um you know I I had another

2301
02:22:28,908 --> 02:22:32,600
buddy that we had to send out of
the United States to go get

2302
02:22:32,600 --> 02:22:38,000
monoclonal antibodies right to
get hooked up to a an IV to get

2303
02:22:38,008 --> 02:22:41,800
the drip again, fixed him right
up fixed him right up, right?

2304
02:22:41,800 --> 02:22:48,700
But that time was so full of
bull crap, like the amount of it

2305
02:22:48,700 --> 02:22:54,300
was the first time that I can
remember where Where I was like,

2306
02:22:54,300 --> 02:22:56,900
okay, you gotta go Rogue.
You can't trust your medical

2307
02:22:56,900 --> 02:22:58,400
professional at this point,
right?

2308
02:22:58,400 --> 02:23:02,600
Like they're, they're so
co-opted and I, I get it right

2309
02:23:02,600 --> 02:23:05,100
because I talked to my doctor
about it who's a very rational

2310
02:23:05,100 --> 02:23:08,300
guy and he said, the problem is,
is that if we prescribe

2311
02:23:08,300 --> 02:23:15,000
Ivermectin or, um, monoclonal
antibodies, and someone still

2312
02:23:15,000 --> 02:23:18,400
dies whether that caused it or
not, we're on the hook because

2313
02:23:18,400 --> 02:23:24,500
we went out of scope Of of
treatments and so like they were

2314
02:23:24,500 --> 02:23:28,700
facing criminal.
Yeah, cross keychain.

2315
02:23:28,700 --> 02:23:32,800
If they, if they even prescribed
it and so it was it was just not

2316
02:23:32,800 --> 02:23:36,200
so you sorry about that.
That was kind of a side tangent.

2317
02:23:36,200 --> 02:23:39,500
But Corey, you said you started
to get, get kind of a running

2318
02:23:39,500 --> 02:23:43,000
nose and that sort of thing.
Yeah, just seemed like I was had

2319
02:23:43,000 --> 02:23:48,100
the flu and just started to feel
pretty effective at where, you

2320
02:23:48,100 --> 02:23:52,800
know, I'm just gonna have to,
you know, Watch some Netflix's

2321
02:23:52,800 --> 02:23:56,600
kind of the worst, you know.
The worst thing that I could

2322
02:23:56,600 --> 02:24:00,000
imagine doing pretty much is not
being very productive for

2323
02:24:00,000 --> 02:24:04,200
several days in a row.
And for me, I just, wow, this is

2324
02:24:04,200 --> 02:24:08,800
really strong stuff this covid
and, um, didn't not did not

2325
02:24:08,800 --> 02:24:12,900
think I was in trouble until I
woke up early in the morning.

2326
02:24:12,900 --> 02:24:18,000
I woke up.
Between 1:00 and 3.

2327
02:24:18,000 --> 02:24:20,400
In the morning, my lungs went
from.

2328
02:24:20,400 --> 02:24:26,700
I feel bad to I can't breathe
anymore. and I looked at my

2329
02:24:26,700 --> 02:24:30,800
little, Oxygen numbers because I
got one of those little

2330
02:24:30,800 --> 02:24:38,200
oximeters from my finger. and it
said 60 to Oh, geez, I was

2331
02:24:38,200 --> 02:24:41,900
reading that looking at it.
Like this thing's look, I think

2332
02:24:41,900 --> 02:24:43,800
it's broken.
So I took it off.

2333
02:24:43,800 --> 02:24:46,100
I put it on again.
Sure enough.

2334
02:24:46,100 --> 02:24:52,500
You know, I'm 60 and and I
texted somebody who was in the

2335
02:24:52,500 --> 02:24:55,800
heart in the grid group, you
know, David Pine and some of

2336
02:24:55,808 --> 02:24:58,300
those guys.
And I texted I said I'm getting

2337
02:24:58,300 --> 02:25:02,500
a reading of 60, something on my
oximeter, and someone in the

2338
02:25:02,500 --> 02:25:04,700
group says, you call the
ambulance right now.

2339
02:25:04,700 --> 02:25:09,700
I said really, I was not
thinking straight and so that's

2340
02:25:09,700 --> 02:25:12,900
what I did, but I'm glad they
texted.

2341
02:25:12,900 --> 02:25:15,000
Alright.
Alright, then well, yeah, yeah,

2342
02:25:15,000 --> 02:25:16,900
no, I was totally out of it at
that point.

2343
02:25:16,900 --> 02:25:20,500
Yeah, you was he was he was this
whole time.

2344
02:25:20,500 --> 02:25:23,100
Corey was like this weird Lucid
child.

2345
02:25:23,100 --> 02:25:28,500
Like From that moment on.
So give a little backstory.

2346
02:25:28,500 --> 02:25:31,400
He's already on oxygen out so we
are already.

2347
02:25:31,400 --> 02:25:35,500
We had ammonia.
You know, level called it.

2348
02:25:35,500 --> 02:25:37,800
We already are.
We're working with our natural

2349
02:25:37,800 --> 02:25:40,200
path doctor.
We've got some prescriptions.

2350
02:25:40,200 --> 02:25:44,500
He's doing, you know, some few
deaths and I so that I'm kind of

2351
02:25:44,508 --> 02:25:48,800
breathing, you know, lots of
stuff to kind of open my lungs.

2352
02:25:48,800 --> 02:25:52,400
He's at Leaders.
And that's the max you can have

2353
02:25:52,400 --> 02:25:57,300
at home oxygen and latest pep
going up and up and up and and

2354
02:25:57,300 --> 02:26:01,300
he might have been awake in
texting people but he wasn't

2355
02:26:01,300 --> 02:26:04,600
awake enough to wake me up.
I woke up and I was the one

2356
02:26:04,600 --> 02:26:06,300
making the decision to call
them.

2357
02:26:06,300 --> 02:26:10,300
You I was definitely gone at
that point.

2358
02:26:10,308 --> 02:26:14,100
I am and I look over at Corey
and and check his oxygen level.

2359
02:26:14,100 --> 02:26:17,000
So I'm like, Corey, we can't
even like, get you to the car

2360
02:26:17,000 --> 02:26:18,800
and to drive you to the
hospital.

2361
02:26:18,800 --> 02:26:21,400
Yeah, I wouldn't have made it
that I would have been dead

2362
02:26:21,400 --> 02:26:24,100
within just a couple minutes of
not having a oxygen.

2363
02:26:24,100 --> 02:26:26,000
In me.
I was, I was really in trouble

2364
02:26:26,008 --> 02:26:28,600
and yeah, I'm yeah, that's
pretty sure.

2365
02:26:28,600 --> 02:26:31,100
He got up and shaved, and
probably would have showered if

2366
02:26:31,100 --> 02:26:34,500
I, you know, like that before
getting admitted to the

2367
02:26:34,508 --> 02:26:36,000
hospital.
Yeah, I was like, what are you

2368
02:26:36,008 --> 02:26:40,400
doing?
He, I cannot identify with this.

2369
02:26:40,400 --> 02:26:43,000
All right, I can't believe I'm
gonna tell this story on air,

2370
02:26:43,000 --> 02:26:50,400
but Full disclosure.
My dad died as an early, as a

2371
02:26:50,400 --> 02:26:52,300
young man, still, right?
He was 47.

2372
02:26:52,300 --> 02:26:53,500
When he passed from heart
disease.

2373
02:26:54,600 --> 02:27:01,400
And, um, this was back when I
lived in Idaho. and, I was at

2374
02:27:01,400 --> 02:27:04,300
the gym and I benched felt
really good.

2375
02:27:04,300 --> 02:27:07,600
Hit a PR right.
Jump on the treadmill, go to

2376
02:27:07,608 --> 02:27:12,300
work, then all the sudden this
pain hits my chest, Right.

2377
02:27:12,300 --> 02:27:15,700
And it's the kind of pain that I
can like see stars and take your

2378
02:27:15,700 --> 02:27:20,600
breath away, kind of pain. and
I'm like, Oh right.

2379
02:27:20,600 --> 02:27:22,100
Like with that kind of family
history.

2380
02:27:22,100 --> 02:27:25,700
My first thoughts.
Oh I'm like Swallow the pain,

2381
02:27:25,700 --> 02:27:29,700
keep going, right?
Like the just the twinge, just

2382
02:27:29,700 --> 02:27:33,300
swallow, the paint and keep
going, and it hit a second time

2383
02:27:33,300 --> 02:27:35,800
and a third time in a fourth
time, and they got closer

2384
02:27:35,800 --> 02:27:38,400
together.
Those episodes, I'm like, all

2385
02:27:38,400 --> 02:27:40,900
right, I gotta go, right?
So I go home.

2386
02:27:42,200 --> 02:27:44,300
Tell my tell my wife Amber,
what's going on.

2387
02:27:44,300 --> 02:27:47,400
She's like, we gotta get you the
hospital, I'm like, hang tight,

2388
02:27:47,400 --> 02:27:48,500
I don't want to take a quick
shower.

2389
02:27:48,500 --> 02:27:50,700
I don't want to be thinking up
the joining, right?

2390
02:27:50,700 --> 02:27:55,200
So I go in and I take a shower.
Yeah, shower.

2391
02:27:55,200 --> 02:27:59,300
And they only into the, you
know, my wife takes me in the ER

2392
02:27:59,300 --> 02:28:02,000
and she and you know I'm trying
to be cool about this but in the

2393
02:28:02,008 --> 02:28:04,500
back of my mind I'm kind of
freaking out too right because

2394
02:28:04,500 --> 02:28:08,700
it's starting to come with more
more force and more pain and

2395
02:28:08,700 --> 02:28:12,700
it's coming more frequently and
I'm like yeah I got this coming

2396
02:28:12,700 --> 02:28:19,300
right sort of a thing. and, They
like Amber just says the words

2397
02:28:19,300 --> 02:28:22,900
chest pain and shortness of
breath and like I'm in a

2398
02:28:22,900 --> 02:28:24,800
wheelchair.
I'm getting wheel back, I'm

2399
02:28:24,800 --> 02:28:28,100
getting hooked up to stuff,
they're drawn blood and then

2400
02:28:28,100 --> 02:28:30,600
they start asking the questions
like when did you first notice

2401
02:28:30,600 --> 02:28:34,600
this, you know how long has this
been going on and and would you

2402
02:28:34,600 --> 02:28:37,600
do right after an Amber goes?
He took a shower and then came

2403
02:28:37,600 --> 02:28:40,300
in and like the nurses just like
stop work, right?

2404
02:28:40,300 --> 02:28:42,700
In the middle and like look at
Amber and then they look over at

2405
02:28:42,700 --> 02:28:45,700
me and they look back at Amber
and they're like like one of the

2406
02:28:45,700 --> 02:28:49,600
nurses goes you're more on sir
and I'm like I was thinking,

2407
02:28:49,600 --> 02:28:53,000
right?
Not matter.

2408
02:28:53,000 --> 02:28:58,800
Get in here right now.
Fortunately Wasn't a heart

2409
02:28:58,800 --> 02:29:00,900
attack.
They didn't he like took some

2410
02:29:00,900 --> 02:29:04,200
blood because apparently you'll
kick out certain proteins or

2411
02:29:04,200 --> 02:29:06,100
something when you have have
heart trouble.

2412
02:29:06,800 --> 02:29:10,400
That comes back clean.
The EKG looks good and now it's

2413
02:29:10,400 --> 02:29:13,400
about two in the morning, right?
And they're just kind of

2414
02:29:13,408 --> 02:29:16,500
watching me and it would hit
every so often, I would kind of,

2415
02:29:16,500 --> 02:29:19,900
you know, Winston and hold my
breath a little bit but You

2416
02:29:19,900 --> 02:29:21,900
know.
So the doc comes in right after

2417
02:29:21,900 --> 02:29:24,300
I have one of these episodes
about two in the morning and

2418
02:29:24,300 --> 02:29:26,900
he's like okay I can see you
just went through something here

2419
02:29:26,900 --> 02:29:30,100
but what happened?
So I just sitting here and it

2420
02:29:30,100 --> 02:29:32,200
just you know I kind of
readjusted and it hurt and he

2421
02:29:32,208 --> 02:29:34,200
goes what?
What I was like.

2422
02:29:34,200 --> 02:29:36,600
Yeah just readjusted and it
really hurt and he goes, what

2423
02:29:36,600 --> 02:29:39,600
were you doing right before this
happened?

2424
02:29:40,300 --> 02:29:42,500
it was like, well, I was going
for a personal record on the

2425
02:29:42,508 --> 02:29:45,600
bench and Yeah.
Okay.

2426
02:29:47,000 --> 02:29:49,800
A few minutes later, someone
comes in, they wheel me out for

2427
02:29:49,800 --> 02:29:53,500
a kind of like an MRI right.
You go back there.

2428
02:29:53,500 --> 02:29:57,000
They they do the MRI.
And he goes yeah bud you

2429
02:29:57,000 --> 02:30:00,700
personally pour your Peck.
That's why it's hurting.

2430
02:30:00,700 --> 02:30:05,300
Now, the part I failed to
mention was mention was, I'd

2431
02:30:05,300 --> 02:30:07,100
already called my buddy at work
and said, hey dude, I'm not

2432
02:30:07,108 --> 02:30:09,100
gonna be there tomorrow, right?
Cuz it's like 2:00 in the

2433
02:30:09,108 --> 02:30:10,000
morning, it's like, what's going
on?

2434
02:30:10,000 --> 02:30:12,800
I said chest pains.
He's like, okay, just keep me

2435
02:30:12,800 --> 02:30:15,500
informed.
So I remind another text at

2436
02:30:15,500 --> 02:30:17,700
about five in the morning about
the time I'm being discharged.

2437
02:30:18,700 --> 02:30:21,500
And told them I said, hey man,
it looks like I just, you know,

2438
02:30:21,500 --> 02:30:23,500
kind of ripped my Peck muscle a
little bit.

2439
02:30:23,500 --> 02:30:25,300
And you goes, oh well.
That's good to hear.

2440
02:30:26,600 --> 02:30:32,000
I showed back up the next day to
work and there's like, Booms and

2441
02:30:32,000 --> 02:30:35,200
big signs saying Dave, I'm sorry
you tore your man boob, right?

2442
02:30:35,200 --> 02:30:38,900
And there's like how to give
yourself an at-home mammogram

2443
02:30:38,900 --> 02:30:49,200
all over my desk, right?
When you say Corey, shaved a

2444
02:30:49,200 --> 02:30:50,700
little bit and stuff.
I'm right there with you.

2445
02:30:50,700 --> 02:30:54,700
Yeah.
So anyway sorry sorry to

2446
02:30:54,700 --> 02:30:56,900
interrupt their go ahead.
That's all Right.

2447
02:30:56,908 --> 02:31:04,200
Well, they um The EMTs came and
you know, took me in and I guess

2448
02:31:04,200 --> 02:31:08,500
I'll let Johnny yeah, yeah, so
his oxygen levels just kept

2449
02:31:08,500 --> 02:31:11,200
getting worse and worse, but we
go to the emergency room and

2450
02:31:11,200 --> 02:31:16,100
it's a small town here.
So, And you know, it was

2451
02:31:16,100 --> 02:31:18,600
devastating at the time but
they're like, we don't have any

2452
02:31:18,600 --> 02:31:20,600
beds, we're gonna have to fly
them to Phoenix, you know.

2453
02:31:20,608 --> 02:31:24,100
So I'm like, oh, you know,
there's no way I'm gonna First,

2454
02:31:24,100 --> 02:31:25,800
Phoenix, from from where you
guys are at.

2455
02:31:25,800 --> 02:31:28,200
That's About an hour.
So soft.

2456
02:31:28,200 --> 02:31:35,700
Okay. it's a jock, and Kept me
out.

2457
02:31:35,700 --> 02:31:39,000
So that was really frustrating.
So they still wouldn't let me in

2458
02:31:39,000 --> 02:31:43,700
and I'm like, look, I had over,
I'm still like partially sick

2459
02:31:43,700 --> 02:31:48,000
from it, you know, like I can be
with them and I don't know what

2460
02:31:48,000 --> 02:31:50,600
would probably would have been
hard to see him struggling as

2461
02:31:50,600 --> 02:31:59,600
much as he was, but Basically.
they fly him out and the rest of

2462
02:31:59,600 --> 02:32:03,800
my my life for like 21 days
while he's in the was 21 days at

2463
02:32:03,800 --> 02:32:09,200
the hospital or the ICU I see
you 21 days at ICU is calling

2464
02:32:09,200 --> 02:32:13,600
you know I'm like sleeping a
lot, calling the doctors in the

2465
02:32:13,608 --> 02:32:20,700
morning praying you know praying
so much and Cory is it one step

2466
02:32:20,700 --> 02:32:24,100
away from me needing to take
over like full power of attorney

2467
02:32:24,100 --> 02:32:29,800
medical wise and he was a
pre-med for a little bit, so he

2468
02:32:29,800 --> 02:32:31,700
actually knows a little bit
about stuff.

2469
02:32:31,700 --> 02:32:35,200
And so it's really interesting
because, you know, one minute,

2470
02:32:35,200 --> 02:32:37,300
he's telling me, Oh, they want
to give me this drug, but I

2471
02:32:37,300 --> 02:32:40,600
don't want to and, you know,
he's pretty Lucid in the next

2472
02:32:40,600 --> 02:32:42,200
minute we're having
conversations.

2473
02:32:42,200 --> 02:32:46,300
Like, you know, I'm hanging up
and I'm, I say, I love you Corey

2474
02:32:46,300 --> 02:32:55,600
and he says, I know I'm not that
mean and another time they the

2475
02:32:55,600 --> 02:32:59,400
nurse moved his, you know,
little cup that you pee in and

2476
02:32:59,400 --> 02:33:02,100
put it on the windowsill and he
could not reach it, you know,

2477
02:33:02,100 --> 02:33:05,300
and he couldn't get, he was too
sick to like, roll over and

2478
02:33:05,300 --> 02:33:09,100
gravity and so you like, I've
got to go right now.

2479
02:33:09,100 --> 02:33:15,000
I said, okay, I'll call the
nurse and I hang up with him and

2480
02:33:15,000 --> 02:33:17,500
called the nurses line, which,
you know what this point is like

2481
02:33:17,500 --> 02:33:20,800
on auto dial.
And I'm like, he needs to go

2482
02:33:20,800 --> 02:33:25,300
right now and they rush in the
room and I call Corey back and

2483
02:33:25,300 --> 02:33:30,100
he's like, they hurt you.
Like I called them, he's not

2484
02:33:30,100 --> 02:33:33,400
getting enough oxygen to his
brain to pulling her stand

2485
02:33:33,400 --> 02:33:36,400
things.
I mean, he's He's one step away.

2486
02:33:36,400 --> 02:33:39,900
He will technically, he's
intubated but not like the

2487
02:33:39,900 --> 02:33:45,100
intubation where they Put them
under.

2488
02:33:45,100 --> 02:33:48,000
I was under the high flow and
just you know, 40 liters of

2489
02:33:48,000 --> 02:33:51,200
oxygen and just to kind of give
some numbers for those who might

2490
02:33:51,200 --> 02:33:53,800
have a little idea as an
athlete.

2491
02:33:54,600 --> 02:33:59,900
I would typically Sprint you
know, cycle racing and I would

2492
02:33:59,900 --> 02:34:04,200
hit numbers of maybe 160 170
heart rate, as far as my heart

2493
02:34:04,200 --> 02:34:06,800
rate goes, um, just laying in
bed.

2494
02:34:06,800 --> 02:34:11,800
I was 132 to 176.
So this is four weeks.

2495
02:34:11,800 --> 02:34:16,300
I didn't even come down under
one. 302 when, I was leaving the

2496
02:34:16,300 --> 02:34:19,000
hospital, I was literally over
12131.

2497
02:34:19,000 --> 02:34:24,700
I was released.
So it was very intense major

2498
02:34:24,700 --> 02:34:27,900
exhaustion you know lost like 30
pounds and just those couple

2499
02:34:27,900 --> 02:34:31,600
weeks dripping with sweat,
barely could function certainly

2500
02:34:31,600 --> 02:34:36,300
with seeing all kinds of visions
and hallucinations and things

2501
02:34:36,300 --> 02:34:39,200
like that.
I was definitely experiencing

2502
02:34:39,200 --> 02:34:43,100
something that's just as super
intense but to kind of describe.

2503
02:34:43,100 --> 02:34:45,200
But a lot of people they don't
recognize.

2504
02:34:45,200 --> 02:34:51,600
Here's what really happens to
you physically. and your lungs

2505
02:34:51,600 --> 02:34:53,700
filled up in my case, all the
way to the top.

2506
02:34:54,400 --> 02:34:58,400
And so it's all this gelatin
fluid that I would spit out

2507
02:34:58,400 --> 02:35:01,100
literally like a Jello.
So it was it was fully

2508
02:35:01,100 --> 02:35:07,400
gelatinized and Even, you know,
a month out of the hospital.

2509
02:35:07,400 --> 02:35:09,500
I could literally breathe like
300 ml.

2510
02:35:09,500 --> 02:35:13,400
So, basically, a little over
about a cup of air and your

2511
02:35:13,400 --> 02:35:17,600
lungs can hold a whole gallon
plus in my case about five

2512
02:35:17,600 --> 02:35:23,300
liters, And I could only
breathe, you know, a cup of air,

2513
02:35:23,300 --> 02:35:25,600
which is just so tiny.
When you look at your lungs,

2514
02:35:28,000 --> 02:35:31,200
and, you know, the interesting
thing is even a month out of the

2515
02:35:31,208 --> 02:35:33,800
hospital, nobody had answers,
you know, they actually released

2516
02:35:33,800 --> 02:35:40,500
me not having any way of telling
me what I was going to do, or he

2517
02:35:40,500 --> 02:35:46,100
hears just a few drugs to deal
with your situation, and I don't

2518
02:35:46,100 --> 02:35:49,400
know.
It was fascinating to me that my

2519
02:35:49,400 --> 02:35:53,000
body could hang in there and
even live with all of this.

2520
02:35:53,000 --> 02:35:56,300
Because I was so exhausted, I'm
working that hard.

2521
02:35:57,400 --> 02:35:59,700
But what?
What was happening was very

2522
02:35:59,700 --> 02:36:03,700
intermittently.
I would kind of go in and out of

2523
02:36:03,700 --> 02:36:08,500
consciousness.
And my body, my heart rate would

2524
02:36:08,500 --> 02:36:12,100
just just go faster and faster
even higher than those numbers.

2525
02:36:12,100 --> 02:36:14,700
I'm sure.
Just when I couldn't breathe or

2526
02:36:14,700 --> 02:36:18,700
getting enough air and it very
much felt like waterboarding,

2527
02:36:18,700 --> 02:36:21,900
you know, they kind of describe
waterboarding where they

2528
02:36:21,900 --> 02:36:24,900
torture.
You know, people from other

2529
02:36:24,900 --> 02:36:27,800
countries to try to extract
information from the spies or

2530
02:36:27,800 --> 02:36:31,000
somebody that they've that
they've got that sensitive Intel

2531
02:36:31,000 --> 02:36:34,000
and they're just pouring water
over their head and they gasp

2532
02:36:34,000 --> 02:36:37,600
and and cough and choke and
their body goes into shock.

2533
02:36:37,600 --> 02:36:40,200
I was just going into shock over
and over.

2534
02:36:40,200 --> 02:36:47,100
I was Intensity of it was
extreme like I couldn't imagine

2535
02:36:47,100 --> 02:36:49,600
how I could survive.
Like I literally thought that

2536
02:36:49,600 --> 02:36:51,900
was going to be it that day.
Like if I could make it another

2537
02:36:51,900 --> 02:36:57,800
hour maybe over and over for
weeks to just feel my whole body

2538
02:36:57,800 --> 02:37:01,800
you know you're going to die.
Your body is telling you you're

2539
02:37:01,800 --> 02:37:05,300
done and it's pushing at Redline
limits.

2540
02:37:06,000 --> 02:37:10,800
And there were just times, I
felt some level of peace and

2541
02:37:10,800 --> 02:37:11,900
comfort.
Come over me.

2542
02:37:13,100 --> 02:37:15,000
It.
And I, I know that that was when

2543
02:37:15,000 --> 02:37:17,900
Joanie was praying, and other of
my friends were praying with,

2544
02:37:17,900 --> 02:37:20,500
with great faith for me to
survive.

2545
02:37:20,500 --> 02:37:28,300
This amazing that A human body.
Can can take that much like I

2546
02:37:28,300 --> 02:37:30,800
never put you on a ventilator or
anything like that.

2547
02:37:30,800 --> 02:37:32,400
Well, that they asked to do
that.

2548
02:37:32,400 --> 02:37:36,000
They wanted to and we denied
them that that they didn't

2549
02:37:36,000 --> 02:37:38,000
completely they were pushing it
hard at that?

2550
02:37:38,008 --> 02:37:40,500
Yeah, we it was we had.
Yeah.

2551
02:37:40,500 --> 02:37:42,400
We had to kind of fight them on
that.

2552
02:37:42,400 --> 02:37:47,800
No way things.
The big thing was no remedies of

2553
02:37:47,800 --> 02:37:49,800
beer.
And they.

2554
02:37:50,800 --> 02:37:53,500
Pulled the med.
Set brought with him they you

2555
02:37:53,500 --> 02:37:56,400
know they don't ever act in,
they took vitamin C from me.

2556
02:37:56,400 --> 02:37:59,700
It's like why would vitamin C
ever mess with any with

2557
02:37:59,700 --> 02:38:02,800
anybody's medical needs?
And I'll share this isn't

2558
02:38:02,800 --> 02:38:04,800
helpful.
So, going back to the time that

2559
02:38:04,800 --> 02:38:10,000
I had Trevor, I had him in Ogden
and he was shipped to the Um,

2560
02:38:10,000 --> 02:38:14,200
the NICU at Primary Children's
and Primary Children's was the

2561
02:38:14,200 --> 02:38:17,200
most beautiful experience with
doctors, you know, ever like

2562
02:38:17,200 --> 02:38:21,900
they were so attentive, so
loving and they really are

2563
02:38:21,900 --> 02:38:26,000
nurses, especially but here's
how the medical system works in

2564
02:38:26,000 --> 02:38:27,700
America.
Now there's a big Corporation,

2565
02:38:27,700 --> 02:38:34,100
it's all the hospital and they
get directives from literally,

2566
02:38:34,100 --> 02:38:37,200
the federal government, as to,
here's what you can and can't do

2567
02:38:37,200 --> 02:38:40,800
for every diagnosis.
And there's not a lot of

2568
02:38:40,800 --> 02:38:44,600
patience choices.
However, you always have the

2569
02:38:44,600 --> 02:38:48,200
right to refuse any treatment as
a patient.

2570
02:38:48,200 --> 02:38:50,600
Now, there's only a few
exceptions to that.

2571
02:38:50,600 --> 02:38:53,000
That's if you're in the ER and
they you know, it's emergency,

2572
02:38:53,000 --> 02:38:56,400
they can't ask you when he was
rushed into the ER they

2573
02:38:56,400 --> 02:39:00,700
immediately put an IV in him,
and as I'm saying no remdesivir

2574
02:39:00,700 --> 02:39:04,200
and writing it down on a paper
that he can take with him in

2575
02:39:04,200 --> 02:39:07,200
case he can't talk to the nurses
there, you know, to express his

2576
02:39:07,200 --> 02:39:09,600
wishes that he doesn't want to
take the Rim death.

2577
02:39:12,000 --> 02:39:16,700
They quietly take out the IV and
I don't want to freak him out

2578
02:39:16,700 --> 02:39:18,900
but I'm sure she didn't even
tell me because I would have I

2579
02:39:18,900 --> 02:39:22,400
would have really been upset
with that immediately later.

2580
02:39:22,400 --> 02:39:25,800
It was from Deer.
So um you know, because they

2581
02:39:25,800 --> 02:39:30,800
charge us for it like several
thousand dollars almost 3,000

2582
02:39:30,800 --> 02:39:33,900
dollars for for a little half a
bag that they put in my arm.

2583
02:39:33,900 --> 02:39:36,900
Well they didn't get much.
They didn't think goodness but

2584
02:39:36,900 --> 02:39:40,800
you know, and so he gets to the
hospital and calling and some of

2585
02:39:40,808 --> 02:39:44,300
the nurses are really amazing.
So like shout out to nurses are

2586
02:39:44,300 --> 02:39:48,000
amazing but the doctors, you
know they work in teams and what

2587
02:39:48,000 --> 02:39:50,500
they're right doing is they run
from Patient to Patient and

2588
02:39:50,500 --> 02:39:55,100
spend like 15 minutes and
anyway, so I'm begging doctors

2589
02:39:55,100 --> 02:39:58,500
for any alternative treatment
that they know of like, even

2590
02:39:58,500 --> 02:40:02,000
just give them extra vitamin C
to boost his immunity.

2591
02:40:02,000 --> 02:40:06,900
And there's this one doctor at
the ER, in Phoenix where he's

2592
02:40:06,900 --> 02:40:09,800
been taking that gets on the
phone.

2593
02:40:09,800 --> 02:40:13,700
With me, tells me basically.
Idiot that there's no studies

2594
02:40:13,700 --> 02:40:17,400
that show that vitamin C helps
with covid and that, you know,

2595
02:40:17,408 --> 02:40:22,100
and he ends up hanging up on me.
And so, back to, when I had

2596
02:40:22,100 --> 02:40:26,400
Trevor one of the most
fascinating things happened, you

2597
02:40:26,400 --> 02:40:29,400
know, I'm in shock a little bit
in shock after having Trevor

2598
02:40:29,400 --> 02:40:32,100
with this diagnosis, they fly
them there.

2599
02:40:32,100 --> 02:40:35,000
I want to be with him, but I'm
told that I just had a

2600
02:40:35,000 --> 02:40:37,800
C-section, so I have to wait to
get my Staples out 48 hours

2601
02:40:37,800 --> 02:40:39,800
later.
So I'm not being you know,

2602
02:40:39,800 --> 02:40:42,400
admitted.
Well, these people are walking

2603
02:40:42,400 --> 02:40:47,600
around offering like candy bars
and sodas and whatnot, which,

2604
02:40:47,600 --> 02:40:51,700
you know, in the hospital right
after you have a child, not

2605
02:40:51,700 --> 02:40:53,200
healthy.
That's not what I need.

2606
02:40:53,200 --> 02:40:56,100
But they were really friendly
like volunteers and they're

2607
02:40:56,100 --> 02:40:59,100
like, well and I, you know, ask
my story told him I had this

2608
02:40:59,100 --> 02:41:01,700
baby, that might die anytime.
I don't know.

2609
02:41:01,700 --> 02:41:04,200
You know, and they're like,
well, let me get the social

2610
02:41:04,200 --> 02:41:06,900
worker.
So social worker comes in and

2611
02:41:06,900 --> 02:41:08,200
she's like, do you want to see
her baby?

2612
02:41:08,200 --> 02:41:10,800
I'm like, well yes, but I was
told I can't get released.

2613
02:41:10,800 --> 02:41:12,600
She's like I can get She
released.

2614
02:41:12,600 --> 02:41:15,800
And so, she went and advocated
for me and got me released

2615
02:41:15,800 --> 02:41:18,600
early.
And then I just came back up and

2616
02:41:18,600 --> 02:41:21,100
later and got my stitches out
later, you know, no big deal.

2617
02:41:21,100 --> 02:41:24,100
Yeah.
And that, that experience

2618
02:41:24,100 --> 02:41:27,900
prepared me for him being in the
hospital because I knew once

2619
02:41:27,900 --> 02:41:31,000
that doctor hung up on me, I was
like, you know, it was so

2620
02:41:31,000 --> 02:41:34,700
politicized during this time
that I was like, I really hope

2621
02:41:34,700 --> 02:41:37,100
they don't take this out on
Corey, like, don't give him good

2622
02:41:37,100 --> 02:41:39,600
treatment because they're like,
oh he's one of those crazies

2623
02:41:39,600 --> 02:41:41,500
that has Ivermectin and his
wife's crazy.

2624
02:41:41,500 --> 02:41:44,000
We're not, yeah, I didn't get
the vaccine and die.

2625
02:41:44,000 --> 02:41:47,600
So yeah, I'm not following their
protocol that I do deserve to

2626
02:41:47,600 --> 02:41:51,100
die kind of thing because some
some of them were looking at me

2627
02:41:51,100 --> 02:41:52,600
like you almost deserve it kind
of thing.

2628
02:41:52,600 --> 02:41:57,200
I I called their their case
management number and I reported

2629
02:41:57,200 --> 02:41:59,100
I said I look I'm not here.
I don't want.

2630
02:41:59,900 --> 02:42:01,400
Any trouble.
I don't want him to be in

2631
02:42:01,400 --> 02:42:05,300
trouble, but I need to know that
my husband is being taken care

2632
02:42:05,300 --> 02:42:08,100
of, and I am scared.
He could die.

2633
02:42:08,100 --> 02:42:11,700
And he did not handle that
appropriately.

2634
02:42:11,700 --> 02:42:15,300
And I get it that you guys are
overworked in your tired.

2635
02:42:15,300 --> 02:42:19,500
But you know what, I'm still a
customer and I need to know that

2636
02:42:19,500 --> 02:42:24,600
he's going to be taking care of.
So anyways, so that that's

2637
02:42:24,600 --> 02:42:27,000
something you always have the
right to do and most

2638
02:42:27,000 --> 02:42:30,300
circumstances is to refuse care
and they're not supposed to kick

2639
02:42:30,300 --> 02:42:31,700
you out of the hospital.
I've had.

2640
02:42:33,600 --> 02:42:37,100
They told Joanne, they'd kick
her out if she did and that's a

2641
02:42:37,100 --> 02:42:39,000
very young.
That is a violated me?

2642
02:42:39,000 --> 02:42:40,100
Yeah.
No.

2643
02:42:40,100 --> 02:42:42,900
They said that to her.
They were really mean with her

2644
02:42:42,900 --> 02:42:45,700
and she's a nurse practitioner
too.

2645
02:42:45,700 --> 02:42:50,600
She taught these a lot of these
nurses and it just broke her

2646
02:42:50,600 --> 02:42:52,500
heart.
You know how they were treating

2647
02:42:52,500 --> 02:42:55,300
her after she was, they were her
students.

2648
02:42:55,300 --> 02:42:58,400
He humanized her little bit and
she just couldn't understand it

2649
02:42:58,400 --> 02:43:01,100
because she's the most
charitable person you know she's

2650
02:43:01,100 --> 02:43:03,400
so sweet bubbly and outgoing.
Sweet.

2651
02:43:03,400 --> 02:43:07,100
It was like what is going on
here with these people, you

2652
02:43:07,100 --> 02:43:11,300
know.
But yeah anyway that's what her.

2653
02:43:12,800 --> 02:43:18,000
Daughter told me my friend.
So in that 21 days, like how

2654
02:43:18,000 --> 02:43:19,700
much of that was like, touching
go?

2655
02:43:21,000 --> 02:43:23,700
About all of it.
Like they kind of they kind of

2656
02:43:23,700 --> 02:43:27,000
kicked me out of the hospital
just a few days after that, but

2657
02:43:27,000 --> 02:43:36,600
I was so dysfunctional like I
like, It's hard to imagine like,

2658
02:43:36,600 --> 02:43:40,000
as an athlete.
That I could have survived it.

2659
02:43:40,000 --> 02:43:44,200
I literally No, it makes no
logical sense.

2660
02:43:44,200 --> 02:43:46,400
That a human body could have
survived.

2661
02:43:46,400 --> 02:43:49,900
What I did.
I literally just, I don't give

2662
02:43:49,900 --> 02:43:52,700
someone who's a non-athlete,
there's no way, they'd be,

2663
02:43:52,708 --> 02:43:55,200
they'd be done in a day.
They would not be on this Earth.

2664
02:43:55,200 --> 02:43:57,700
Not with what my body was
suffering from.

2665
02:43:57,700 --> 02:44:02,600
And how, how hard I had to work
to get are and to breathe and

2666
02:44:02,600 --> 02:44:04,900
the coughing and everything that
we're coming up with that

2667
02:44:04,900 --> 02:44:07,300
because I literally just was
struggling.

2668
02:44:07,300 --> 02:44:10,000
Like, I was being held
underwater and then I come up

2669
02:44:10,000 --> 02:44:14,000
and I just think like that and
then I would just be under the

2670
02:44:14,000 --> 02:44:16,400
water again and again, and
again.

2671
02:44:16,400 --> 02:44:20,600
And I was just like, I looked
around this little hospital

2672
02:44:20,600 --> 02:44:22,400
room.
I just thought this sucks.

2673
02:44:22,400 --> 02:44:27,200
It's like I'm just gonna die in
this room like all of the like

2674
02:44:27,200 --> 02:44:30,000
crazy Sports.
I've done on skis, going off,

2675
02:44:30,000 --> 02:44:34,700
cliffs and skateboarding down
streets and motorcycle stunts

2676
02:44:34,700 --> 02:44:37,100
I've done and and this is it for
me.

2677
02:44:37,100 --> 02:44:40,700
I was like oh and I just thought
and you know him he father you

2678
02:44:40,700 --> 02:44:43,300
know, Help me out here.
It's like you told me, I would

2679
02:44:43,308 --> 02:44:46,400
have two more children and you
know, I've got the most

2680
02:44:46,408 --> 02:44:52,100
wonderful wife and I feel like
I'm so blessed right now and I

2681
02:44:52,100 --> 02:44:55,600
don't know.
How this is happening or how

2682
02:44:55,600 --> 02:44:58,900
this all works or why I'm
experiencing all of this?

2683
02:44:58,900 --> 02:45:00,300
Because I've never really been
sick before.

2684
02:45:00,300 --> 02:45:09,100
And wow, I did have the The
comfort of my pillow grabbing me

2685
02:45:09,100 --> 02:45:11,400
turning into a teddy bear and
just, you know, wrapping

2686
02:45:11,400 --> 02:45:15,000
wrapping its arms around me and
just comforting me.

2687
02:45:15,000 --> 02:45:17,700
And, you know, Johnny was like
saying that's probably our

2688
02:45:17,700 --> 02:45:20,900
Traverse ending sending you,
this wonderful little message

2689
02:45:20,900 --> 02:45:24,500
and I totally agree.
I there were times when I just

2690
02:45:24,500 --> 02:45:28,700
felt the comfort of people's
prayers during that even in

2691
02:45:28,700 --> 02:45:32,800
between and the hardest part was
trying to bring my heart rate

2692
02:45:32,800 --> 02:45:36,900
down where I wasn't working so
hard to just survive.

2693
02:45:36,900 --> 02:45:42,300
The Panic was so So intense and
that's, you know.

2694
02:45:42,308 --> 02:45:45,300
Yeah.
It's like you're just like Like

2695
02:45:45,300 --> 02:45:47,000
this.
I'd like, I can't I can just

2696
02:45:47,008 --> 02:45:50,900
describe it somewhat, but it
really is not do justice to

2697
02:45:50,900 --> 02:45:54,900
being held underwater that many
times and gasping for breath.

2698
02:45:54,900 --> 02:45:58,100
And then it's like, you're going
under again, you know, you're

2699
02:45:58,100 --> 02:46:00,400
going under again.
It's like this, it's it's like

2700
02:46:00,400 --> 02:46:04,600
this never-ending torture that
is kind of an Indescribable to

2701
02:46:04,600 --> 02:46:06,400
someone who hasn't really had
the covid like that.

2702
02:46:06,400 --> 02:46:11,000
It's really cruel.
It's such a cool way to die and

2703
02:46:11,000 --> 02:46:12,800
cool.
Way to even suffers, as long as

2704
02:46:12,800 --> 02:46:16,100
I was for weeks.
He was on depth store step.

2705
02:46:16,108 --> 02:46:20,200
No, no doubt.
And so me, I'm home praying and

2706
02:46:20,500 --> 02:46:22,700
I'm praying.
You know, I didn't know what

2707
02:46:22,700 --> 02:46:28,800
praying with intent meant, until
that time, really I prayed Hours

2708
02:46:28,800 --> 02:46:31,700
and hours, and she was praying
several hours every day.

2709
02:46:31,700 --> 02:46:33,200
Two, three hours every day for
me.

2710
02:46:33,200 --> 02:46:36,000
Yeah, gave me a blessing.
I mean, that was my full-time

2711
02:46:36,000 --> 02:46:38,300
job.
We had some some clients lined

2712
02:46:38,300 --> 02:46:39,800
up and I said, Cory's in the
hospital.

2713
02:46:39,800 --> 02:46:42,000
See all later and they never
came back.

2714
02:46:42,000 --> 02:46:46,300
But it was what it was and and I
was still kind of sick myself

2715
02:46:46,300 --> 02:46:50,400
but I just I prayed and prayed
and prayed and my dad gave me a

2716
02:46:50,400 --> 02:46:57,500
blessing and in it he said you
know, to Seek Out friends when

2717
02:46:57,500 --> 02:47:05,900
you're fake this week. and, you
know, I think of how Peter,

2718
02:47:05,900 --> 02:47:08,900
Jesus tells Peter right before
he tells them, that he's going

2719
02:47:08,900 --> 02:47:11,800
to deny him.
He says, you know, I, I will

2720
02:47:11,800 --> 02:47:15,100
pray that your will be not and
it was that kind of same thing

2721
02:47:15,100 --> 02:47:19,200
where it's like, I was being
told that I need to have the

2722
02:47:19,200 --> 02:47:22,400
faith for Corey that he's gonna
make it, even though it doesn't

2723
02:47:22,400 --> 02:47:26,000
look like it and even if I got
bad news like it even for me,

2724
02:47:26,000 --> 02:47:29,600
you know, you know, from the
nurse that morning, that his

2725
02:47:29,600 --> 02:47:31,800
numbers aren't getting any
better or that they had gotten

2726
02:47:31,800 --> 02:47:35,600
worse or, you know, whatever
that I needed to have that faith

2727
02:47:35,600 --> 02:47:38,000
for him.
And that's where I was praying

2728
02:47:38,000 --> 02:47:42,300
too, you know, like Trevor gold
comfort him and so, you know,

2729
02:47:42,300 --> 02:47:45,500
and asking others to pray with
me when I was discouraged and

2730
02:47:45,500 --> 02:47:50,600
feeling like he wasn't going to
make it and it was Thanksgiving

2731
02:47:50,600 --> 02:47:54,700
Day.
And I had prayed and prayed and

2732
02:47:54,700 --> 02:48:00,000
prayed and Corey was feeling
well enough to do the nurse had

2733
02:48:00,000 --> 02:48:02,500
him.
He actually got out of bed and

2734
02:48:02,500 --> 02:48:07,100
sat up on a chair.
And so hard to do that.

2735
02:48:07,100 --> 02:48:11,400
Just like I have lifted you
know, 800 pounds on squats,

2736
02:48:11,400 --> 02:48:13,800
doing almost half the way down
doing partials.

2737
02:48:13,800 --> 02:48:16,400
With that chair was a bit as
hard.

2738
02:48:16,400 --> 02:48:19,600
It was even harder.
Physically.

2739
02:48:19,600 --> 02:48:23,300
I was just like almost passing
out and seeing Stars doing that.

2740
02:48:23,300 --> 02:48:26,400
It was wild.
I felt impressed to start

2741
02:48:26,400 --> 02:48:30,200
playing the piano for him you
know and so I'm like not like

2742
02:48:30,200 --> 02:48:35,000
the greatest pianists that you
know good enough to Play songs

2743
02:48:35,000 --> 02:48:38,400
and hymns and things that I
played for hours, the whole

2744
02:48:38,400 --> 02:48:40,300
family, you know, had
Thanksgiving meal.

2745
02:48:40,300 --> 02:48:44,100
And I laid at night and I just
played for hours for him and he

2746
02:48:44,108 --> 02:48:46,500
sat and listened.
I remember what that was like to

2747
02:48:46,500 --> 02:48:50,400
just hear piano music and just
how Hard.

2748
02:48:50,400 --> 02:48:54,200
It was to just hang in there
because I was just emotionally

2749
02:48:54,200 --> 02:48:57,400
drained to a degree.
This is hard to put into words

2750
02:48:57,400 --> 02:48:59,800
and that I thought so much, you
know, peace.

2751
02:48:59,800 --> 02:49:03,500
Oh yeah, it was just to calm
myself at all.

2752
02:49:03,500 --> 02:49:06,600
That was the hardest part of
staying alive during that

2753
02:49:06,600 --> 02:49:12,100
experience. you know, from then,
on out, it was, you know, I was

2754
02:49:12,100 --> 02:49:15,200
sending him just like YouTube
videos of meditation music and

2755
02:49:15,200 --> 02:49:19,100
like, listen to this to help him
slowed, his heart rate and and

2756
02:49:19,100 --> 02:49:23,400
try and and try and relax, and
it helped it helped a lot.

2757
02:49:23,408 --> 02:49:29,500
Yeah, it really, really did like
um, the music started to change.

2758
02:49:29,500 --> 02:49:33,700
You know what I was dealing with
and brought me down where I was

2759
02:49:33,700 --> 02:49:36,300
starting to get manageable, you
know, maybe 10 beats per minute

2760
02:49:36,300 --> 02:49:39,900
or something, but stops me from
having the panic attacks so much

2761
02:49:39,900 --> 02:49:41,200
because I wasn't getting the
air.

2762
02:49:42,000 --> 02:49:45,900
Um it's yeah your body does not
like it when it doesn't get are

2763
02:49:45,900 --> 02:49:48,800
and if you're held down you're
just you're just gasping and

2764
02:49:48,800 --> 02:49:54,300
just freaking out literally just
like you're going crazy to try

2765
02:49:54,300 --> 02:49:59,000
and get air.
And I guess the thing that, you

2766
02:49:59,000 --> 02:50:01,800
know, touched me most is, you
know, I I know I was voted on

2767
02:50:01,808 --> 02:50:06,300
the island, you know, the Joni
was praying so much for me and

2768
02:50:06,300 --> 02:50:08,500
that some of my friends were
praying so much for me.

2769
02:50:08,500 --> 02:50:13,800
Just touched my heart and just,
I know that there's a purpose

2770
02:50:13,800 --> 02:50:17,300
for me to be on this Earth that
I have things to do that, you

2771
02:50:17,300 --> 02:50:20,400
know, children to raise and
people to serve, and my

2772
02:50:20,400 --> 02:50:25,100
testimony to share and Trying to
bring people greater happiness,

2773
02:50:25,100 --> 02:50:27,100
and serve them with my skills
and marketing.

2774
02:50:27,100 --> 02:50:32,600
And Try to bring the
fundamentalists and the LDS

2775
02:50:32,600 --> 02:50:35,400
church together more where
they're not upset at each other

2776
02:50:35,400 --> 02:50:38,400
and we can work together to all,
bring about Zion as much as

2777
02:50:38,400 --> 02:50:39,800
possible.
And crazy sustainable

2778
02:50:39,800 --> 02:50:42,500
communities, and kind of get
ready for some of the bigger

2779
02:50:42,500 --> 02:50:45,400
challenges that are coming our
direction, that, you know, we've

2780
02:50:45,400 --> 02:50:47,100
been setting, we've been told
the scriptures.

2781
02:50:47,100 --> 02:50:50,100
Are you know, in the last days
we're gonna have some

2782
02:50:50,100 --> 02:50:53,500
challenges.
Um, and apparently these plagues

2783
02:50:53,500 --> 02:50:56,800
are part of that.
I don't think I ever would have

2784
02:50:56,808 --> 02:51:01,000
understood what old people deal
with without having this covid

2785
02:51:01,000 --> 02:51:02,500
experience.
You know, I look at the old

2786
02:51:02,500 --> 02:51:06,700
people in the war that come up
on Walkers, you know, I I was

2787
02:51:06,700 --> 02:51:10,100
having to use a cane in a walker
for a while as well and Carrie

2788
02:51:10,100 --> 02:51:14,500
oxygen tanks around everywhere.
No, I want to add one more thing

2789
02:51:14,500 --> 02:51:17,900
to kind of wrap up.
The story is so he gets that

2790
02:51:17,900 --> 02:51:20,400
whole which we're so grateful,
you know, I'm like so grateful

2791
02:51:20,400 --> 02:51:24,100
that I get to take them home.
So he's out of the, I see you, I

2792
02:51:24,100 --> 02:51:27,200
get to go up there, I stamp my
cousin's house, I'm with him.

2793
02:51:27,200 --> 02:51:32,000
You know, every day for probably
about a week and I get to take

2794
02:51:32,008 --> 02:51:37,100
him home on oxygen.
So he's still, you know, an

2795
02:51:37,100 --> 02:51:38,700
invalid and they're like, well,
do you have a doctor?

2796
02:51:38,700 --> 02:51:40,500
And we have our natural passed
on like, yeah, yeah.

2797
02:51:40,500 --> 02:51:47,300
We've got a doctor so, you know,
just let us out and we get home

2798
02:51:47,300 --> 02:51:54,600
and And he's stable and he's
slowly getting a little bit

2799
02:51:54,600 --> 02:51:57,500
less.
Like I'm slowly lowering able to

2800
02:51:57,500 --> 02:52:00,500
lower down the oxygen because
they sent him home on like the

2801
02:52:00,500 --> 02:52:03,000
max amount of leaders.
You know, they're just like and

2802
02:52:03,000 --> 02:52:08,700
we need another bed, you know
get him out and he Yeah.

2803
02:52:08,700 --> 02:52:12,400
And so, I've thought this
full-time nursing job on my

2804
02:52:12,400 --> 02:52:14,700
hands and I'm like, well, what
do?

2805
02:52:14,700 --> 02:52:18,200
What's next?
Is he going to have permanent

2806
02:52:18,200 --> 02:52:21,800
lung damage as he's going to be
on oxygen, the rest of his life,

2807
02:52:21,800 --> 02:52:26,200
like some people have
experienced and then the

2808
02:52:26,200 --> 02:52:30,000
doctors, none of the doctors
know anything and I can't get in

2809
02:52:30,000 --> 02:52:34,600
anywhere to a normal doctor and
so through just prayers and

2810
02:52:34,600 --> 02:52:37,300
fasting because now I'm like,
okay, now I've got to pray to

2811
02:52:37,300 --> 02:52:41,700
figure out what what I needed to
get him better so that he's not

2812
02:52:41,700 --> 02:52:44,400
handicapped for the rest of his
life in this way.

2813
02:52:44,400 --> 02:52:48,100
He, you know, and so we find
through a friend, find a doctor

2814
02:52:48,108 --> 02:52:50,600
who he was trained in the United
States.

2815
02:52:50,600 --> 02:52:55,500
So, I mean, if you have any
concerns about his, his training

2816
02:52:55,500 --> 02:52:58,100
Education and Training, he's in
India.

2817
02:52:58,100 --> 02:53:00,500
So, in India, it was a very
different experience.

2818
02:53:00,500 --> 02:53:05,200
They got to test drugs, they got
to use whatever, you know, and

2819
02:53:05,200 --> 02:53:07,400
it was just totally up to the
doctor's discretion.

2820
02:53:07,400 --> 02:53:11,300
And if He got something wrong in
the patients were mad at you.

2821
02:53:11,300 --> 02:53:15,200
Then, you know, it was, it was
the doctor and the patient

2822
02:53:15,200 --> 02:53:18,700
relationship.
There is no higher authority,

2823
02:53:18,708 --> 02:53:22,400
telling the doctor what to do,
and he knew so much about covid.

2824
02:53:22,400 --> 02:53:25,400
He's like there's three phases
and he says, okay, you've got to

2825
02:53:25,400 --> 02:53:28,400
get him on three things, he's
got, and he had specifics, he's

2826
02:53:28,400 --> 02:53:31,300
like, he's not 90 days.
Oh, let me back up.

2827
02:53:31,300 --> 02:53:35,700
So when you do an MRI, you know
it's not the right one to scan

2828
02:53:35,700 --> 02:53:39,800
the chest or the lungs.
You will see that he's got the,

2829
02:53:39,800 --> 02:53:44,700
the plural fusions which is just
like the dark spots saying that

2830
02:53:44,700 --> 02:53:46,100
there's something there.
Yeah.

2831
02:53:46,100 --> 02:53:49,100
You see, in mine, it looked kind
of like outer space where you

2832
02:53:49,100 --> 02:53:55,000
have the Galaxy with spots all
over the chest butcher, looks at

2833
02:53:55,000 --> 02:53:57,100
that.
And they don't tell you is the

2834
02:53:57,100 --> 02:54:00,100
scarring, is this permanent or
is it liquid, you know, like

2835
02:54:00,100 --> 02:54:02,600
they don't know they can't know
that from looking at that

2836
02:54:02,600 --> 02:54:06,200
picture.
So you know, so for him to have

2837
02:54:06,200 --> 02:54:09,200
read enough studies and to be
following covid, So, well, he

2838
02:54:09,200 --> 02:54:11,500
was like, you've got 90 days
post covid.

2839
02:54:11,500 --> 02:54:14,400
So I've already, he's already
been home for about 30 days now.

2840
02:54:14,400 --> 02:54:16,800
So now it's going in 60 days of
having covid.

2841
02:54:16,800 --> 02:54:19,400
So I have blood one more month
to get the clocks out.

2842
02:54:19,408 --> 02:54:22,500
So they would set up.
They'll start setting up and

2843
02:54:22,500 --> 02:54:25,900
you're kind of like how you scab
over when you have something to

2844
02:54:25,900 --> 02:54:27,900
start to.
You'll start to your body's

2845
02:54:27,900 --> 02:54:30,700
healing process, will start to
create scar tissue in the lungs

2846
02:54:30,700 --> 02:54:33,100
and he'll, you know, struggle to
breathe with that.

2847
02:54:33,100 --> 02:54:37,400
So he says you need three
medications, you need the blood

2848
02:54:37,400 --> 02:54:40,400
thinners to keep the blood
flowing out and get those blood

2849
02:54:40,400 --> 02:54:42,500
clots out.
You need the dexamethasone,

2850
02:54:42,500 --> 02:54:45,800
which is The Stereotype of your
lungs.

2851
02:54:45,800 --> 02:54:49,600
That you take it high altitudes,
mountain climbers, using to give

2852
02:54:49,600 --> 02:54:52,900
them an advantage on, you know,
Everest when they're just really

2853
02:54:52,900 --> 02:54:56,100
hypoxic up there and then just
opens up the lungs, right.

2854
02:54:56,100 --> 02:54:58,200
Yeah.
Gives them some more oxygen

2855
02:54:58,200 --> 02:55:00,900
because they're in such a low in
oxygen environment and just

2856
02:55:00,900 --> 02:55:05,100
gives them that 10% Edge or a
little bit more than 10% in this

2857
02:55:05,108 --> 02:55:08,300
case.
And then and then the culture

2858
02:55:08,300 --> 02:55:14,500
scene, which is the Gout the
inflammation process because the

2859
02:55:14,500 --> 02:55:17,300
inflammation process is your
body is going to go in and

2860
02:55:17,300 --> 02:55:21,700
create the scar tissue.
So we ran down to Mexico to you

2861
02:55:21,700 --> 02:55:24,900
know get ya soon as we heard
about it, you like we couldn't

2862
02:55:24,900 --> 02:55:28,200
we couldn't we couldn't get the
meds in for another five days

2863
02:55:28,200 --> 02:55:31,000
and was like my the next day was
my birthday and I was like well

2864
02:55:31,000 --> 02:55:36,000
let's just drive down to Mexico
and get these meds and Wow.

2865
02:55:36,000 --> 02:55:38,900
I was very surprised by how that
affected me.

2866
02:55:38,900 --> 02:55:44,600
I went to the first Pharmacy.
We found grabbed the needle and,

2867
02:55:44,600 --> 02:55:48,500
you know, did the blood thinner
in my stomach there and the in

2868
02:55:48,500 --> 02:55:52,200
the street took the
dexamethasone and The.

2869
02:55:54,600 --> 02:55:59,600
Culture scene for the the
inflammation and then we just

2870
02:55:59,600 --> 02:56:03,100
grabbed a little taco and then
drove across the border.

2871
02:56:03,100 --> 02:56:06,900
And by the time we got to the
Border, I was listening to some

2872
02:56:06,900 --> 02:56:10,700
80's music.
And mind, you my ability to talk

2873
02:56:10,700 --> 02:56:14,400
was not very good because I
could not get very deep are.

2874
02:56:14,400 --> 02:56:18,100
So my breathing was very labored
and my conversations.

2875
02:56:18,100 --> 02:56:21,300
I get out about a sentence or so
without choking and coughing and

2876
02:56:21,300 --> 02:56:25,800
having a hard time.
Communicating with anybody.

2877
02:56:26,800 --> 02:56:30,900
But I literally in that our
something, after taking those

2878
02:56:30,900 --> 02:56:34,100
meds, I could see 80s music, you
know, on the way home.

2879
02:56:36,000 --> 02:56:39,500
From Mexico.
And I was so stunned by this and

2880
02:56:39,500 --> 02:56:42,700
we stopped by Tombstone because
they have a little gun show and

2881
02:56:42,700 --> 02:56:47,400
kind of an old part of the the
city that you could kind of see.

2882
02:56:47,400 --> 02:56:53,100
And so, I walked around there
for a full Mile right after

2883
02:56:53,100 --> 02:56:59,400
getting a shot with an auction,
this is like so Extreme as far

2884
02:56:59,408 --> 02:57:02,700
as the change in just a couple
hours that it's just it's

2885
02:57:02,700 --> 02:57:07,500
amazing like Hi.
And I also went from about 300

2886
02:57:07,500 --> 02:57:13,400
MLS to 500 MLS to 1500 MLS
within three days on this new on

2887
02:57:13,400 --> 02:57:16,900
this medication.
So it literally was a night and

2888
02:57:16,900 --> 02:57:19,200
day difference where I could
actually have conversations with

2889
02:57:19,200 --> 02:57:23,000
people again and I was literally
going to be left, you know, a

2890
02:57:23,000 --> 02:57:24,500
month out of the hospital.
I couldn't even have

2891
02:57:24,500 --> 02:57:26,800
conversations, and I was on so
much oxygen.

2892
02:57:26,800 --> 02:57:28,500
It looked like I was never going
to get better.

2893
02:57:28,500 --> 02:57:31,800
There are people in my ward just
wondered if I was ever gonna

2894
02:57:31,800 --> 02:57:35,200
recover because it was, I wasn't
seeing much progress.

2895
02:57:35,200 --> 02:57:40,300
And so for me, it was like, I
just had a new life, like I can

2896
02:57:40,300 --> 02:57:41,800
get some air into my lungs
again.

2897
02:57:41,800 --> 02:57:44,900
And now I took another month or
two for, for me, to get up to

2898
02:57:44,900 --> 02:57:48,100
four leaders, but it was
literally within the month that

2899
02:57:48,100 --> 02:57:50,900
I was getting up there and then
it became comfortable, you know,

2900
02:57:50,900 --> 02:57:55,300
a month or so after that to get
a deep breath of four, four

2901
02:57:55,300 --> 02:57:58,100
leaders, the full gallon of of
air.

2902
02:57:59,800 --> 02:58:03,000
But what's done me so much is
that you know, social media

2903
02:58:03,000 --> 02:58:06,000
wasn't allowing these
conversations that I couldn't

2904
02:58:06,000 --> 02:58:07,900
just get on.
And tell everybody guess what?

2905
02:58:07,900 --> 02:58:11,400
I just discovered about covid.
If you're struggling with, you

2906
02:58:11,400 --> 02:58:13,900
know, covid you can take these
meds and this should fix things

2907
02:58:13,900 --> 02:58:15,900
for you.
I wanted to scream it from the

2908
02:58:15,900 --> 02:58:19,600
rooftops and tell everybody, and
my doctor even got kicked off of

2909
02:58:19,600 --> 02:58:21,800
LinkedIn.
The one that was giving us

2910
02:58:21,800 --> 02:58:26,700
giving us all this wonderful
advice Dr. Dimelo and he was an

2911
02:58:26,700 --> 02:58:30,200
answer to prayers and he still
totally very knowledgeable about

2912
02:58:30,200 --> 02:58:32,500
everything.
And he cares very much about his

2913
02:58:32,500 --> 02:58:37,100
his patients and he he does he
chooses your your treatment

2914
02:58:37,100 --> 02:58:42,000
based on your symptoms and he'll
research the best drugs and, you

2915
02:58:42,000 --> 02:58:47,200
know, talk to you about them.
And And he charges very little

2916
02:58:47,200 --> 02:58:49,600
and of course, he can't
prescribed here in the United

2917
02:58:49,600 --> 02:58:51,500
States.
So if you ever use them, you

2918
02:58:51,508 --> 02:58:54,300
have to work with the doctor, he
can get some medicine to you,

2919
02:58:54,300 --> 02:58:57,800
but he tries to get the med
center to a doctor of your

2920
02:58:57,800 --> 02:59:00,800
choice here and then he'll help
you kind of with the program.

2921
02:59:00,800 --> 02:59:04,500
But there's 200 different
symptoms that covid.

2922
02:59:06,500 --> 02:59:08,900
Effects.
So it can be just this

2923
02:59:08,900 --> 02:59:11,700
incredible range of things that
people are dealing with, with

2924
02:59:11,700 --> 02:59:16,100
long covid and has a covid group
online on Facebook.

2925
02:59:16,100 --> 02:59:19,400
Now, that since they've kind of
opened those doors to have some

2926
02:59:19,400 --> 02:59:23,400
of those conversations, he's
helping a lot of folks, kind of

2927
02:59:23,408 --> 02:59:26,900
a recent one that he we talk all
the time on the phone, every

2928
02:59:26,900 --> 02:59:34,300
every few weeks he is now.
Prescribing nandilone for folks

2929
02:59:34,300 --> 02:59:37,300
who have hives as one of their
symptoms from covid.

2930
02:59:37,300 --> 02:59:43,200
So if people have major
breakouts one or two shots of of

2931
02:59:43,200 --> 02:59:46,700
mandrel alone have been fixing
people pretty much 100% in Two

2932
02:59:46,700 --> 02:59:48,400
Shots.
That's a steroid and that's a

2933
02:59:48,400 --> 02:59:50,300
steroid.
Yeah, so he's finding some

2934
02:59:50,300 --> 02:59:53,500
things that are just dramatic
improvements for folks.

2935
02:59:55,700 --> 02:59:59,400
To me, I'm just so grateful
that, you know, Lord is opened

2936
02:59:59,400 --> 03:00:04,100
up some of these answers for me.
I feel like it's definitely made

2937
03:00:04,100 --> 03:00:06,400
me more sensitive to what other
people are going through because

2938
03:00:06,400 --> 03:00:07,900
I never really experienced
those.

2939
03:00:07,900 --> 03:00:10,800
Like I was saying with the old
folks, you know, having a hard

2940
03:00:10,800 --> 03:00:14,400
time walking and functioning and
just not even being able to

2941
03:00:14,400 --> 03:00:16,800
exercise.
You know, I was used to going

2942
03:00:16,800 --> 03:00:20,100
into steam room and Asuna, you
know, pretty much every day and

2943
03:00:20,100 --> 03:00:24,500
then biking an hour every day I
did 50 miles, you know, and the

2944
03:00:24,500 --> 03:00:28,400
desert the week I got covid and
you know I was able to, you

2945
03:00:28,400 --> 03:00:31,800
know, go at a fairly decent
clip, 18 miles an hour, 20 miles

2946
03:00:31,800 --> 03:00:39,200
an hour on the bike. um, and
just to walk up anywhere with

2947
03:00:39,200 --> 03:00:42,200
covid and watching what other
people deal with.

2948
03:00:42,200 --> 03:00:44,900
I feel like I have a lot more
empathy and understanding of

2949
03:00:44,900 --> 03:00:48,200
what it's like for them, it's
like, oh now I understand what

2950
03:00:48,200 --> 03:00:50,600
it's like to go to the gym and
not like working out.

2951
03:00:50,600 --> 03:00:53,700
Now, I understand, you know why
a lot of people aren't so

2952
03:00:53,700 --> 03:00:57,100
motivated to get a lot of things
done in their life, why a lot of

2953
03:00:57,100 --> 03:00:59,800
people maybe aren't happy in
their relationships, they don't

2954
03:00:59,800 --> 03:01:02,000
feel good enough.
You know, they're angry at their

2955
03:01:02,000 --> 03:01:05,900
wife, their husband, their kids.
They're just not as happy

2956
03:01:05,900 --> 03:01:07,600
individuals, because they don't
feel good.

2957
03:01:07,600 --> 03:01:11,500
And so, I don't know, my heart
really goes out to folks, much

2958
03:01:11,500 --> 03:01:14,900
more.
So, and A lot of prayers have

2959
03:01:14,900 --> 03:01:17,500
been going out to other folks
who are dealing with covid and

2960
03:01:17,500 --> 03:01:21,000
I've tried to understand it so
that I have some answers for

2961
03:01:21,000 --> 03:01:24,000
them to help them with their
health challenges.

2962
03:01:24,000 --> 03:01:27,300
Because, you know, I found a lot
for me and I've really buried

2963
03:01:27,300 --> 03:01:31,200
myself in books, trying to get a
better understanding of how He's

2964
03:01:31,200 --> 03:01:35,900
Farm a suitable steroids,
peptides and Natural Foods

2965
03:01:35,900 --> 03:01:38,600
affect us, too.
You know, like what are the best

2966
03:01:38,600 --> 03:01:43,200
foods that can kind of heal you?
We, we found one while we was

2967
03:01:43,200 --> 03:01:46,700
in.
We were in the hospital, we have

2968
03:01:46,700 --> 03:01:53,400
pomegranate trees here, And
Joni's dad, squeezed some juice

2969
03:01:53,400 --> 03:01:56,100
for me and she brought it to me
and I see you there.

2970
03:01:56,100 --> 03:01:59,600
He's you know he's got the
cannula so he's hooked up to the

2971
03:01:59,600 --> 03:02:02,900
oxygen and you can watch while
he drink it.

2972
03:02:02,900 --> 03:02:05,800
You could watch it go up to
oxygen level points.

2973
03:02:05,800 --> 03:02:09,900
As you know, Fresh fruits and
vegetables, very oxygen.

2974
03:02:09,900 --> 03:02:15,000
But pomegranates is one of the
highest amount of Carries one of

2975
03:02:15,000 --> 03:02:16,800
the highest amount of oxygens of
all of them.

2976
03:02:16,800 --> 03:02:19,200
And so, you could just see it go
up as really.

2977
03:02:19,200 --> 03:02:23,400
Yeah, it was cool every single
time and that's got increases

2978
03:02:23,400 --> 03:02:26,000
testosterone too and your
auction consumption.

2979
03:02:26,000 --> 03:02:29,400
So as an athlete, that's really
a fantastic thing for cycle,

2980
03:02:29,400 --> 03:02:34,200
Racers and Runners and such.
anyway, um, that's kind of gives

2981
03:02:34,200 --> 03:02:38,200
you a little bit of the story of
of what that was like and that

2982
03:02:38,200 --> 03:02:41,500
there are answers out there and
While.

2983
03:02:42,500 --> 03:02:45,200
All these symptoms can manifest
differently and they're

2984
03:02:45,200 --> 03:02:49,200
different combinations of either
Pharmaceuticals or food type

2985
03:02:49,200 --> 03:02:52,600
items and herbs that can kind of
help different supplements.

2986
03:02:52,600 --> 03:02:57,900
There's answers out there and I
know they can be found and how

2987
03:02:57,900 --> 03:02:59,300
many father kind of leads us to
that?

2988
03:02:59,300 --> 03:03:03,200
You know, I feel like Dr. Dimelo
was very much an answer to

2989
03:03:03,208 --> 03:03:07,600
prayer and he does strive to To
assist his patients.

2990
03:03:07,600 --> 03:03:09,900
He can, there are other people
that aren't even, you know,

2991
03:03:09,908 --> 03:03:13,000
members of the church.
Well, you know, like dimelo, who

2992
03:03:13,800 --> 03:03:16,300
He feels inspired you know
Heavenly Father.

2993
03:03:16,300 --> 03:03:19,700
Kind of works through him to
come up with answers for folks

2994
03:03:19,700 --> 03:03:23,000
and he was A great blessing to
me.

2995
03:03:23,900 --> 03:03:26,500
Super great.
Absolutely, let me ask you this

2996
03:03:26,500 --> 03:03:29,300
question.
I got three questions here that

2997
03:03:29,300 --> 03:03:32,200
I want to ask you guys and then
we'll move on to the other stuff

2998
03:03:32,200 --> 03:03:38,100
here but the first question is,
Is.

2999
03:03:40,000 --> 03:03:42,600
Do you have any lingering
effects, still from covid?

3000
03:03:42,600 --> 03:03:45,500
You feel like you've kicked it
and it's behind you or do you

3001
03:03:45,508 --> 03:03:46,900
feel like you're still dealing
with the Fallout?

3002
03:03:48,600 --> 03:03:52,100
Um, I've definitely had to deal
with Fallout over and over

3003
03:03:52,100 --> 03:03:55,400
several times because I got
covid four more times after

3004
03:03:55,400 --> 03:03:59,800
going to the hospital.
So, they say that those who have

3005
03:03:59,800 --> 03:04:03,800
gotten vaccinated shed for
several weeks after very

3006
03:04:03,800 --> 03:04:06,400
strongly.
So that may have been part of

3007
03:04:06,408 --> 03:04:09,900
the reason or other people just
got different variants and those

3008
03:04:09,900 --> 03:04:13,700
were just going around.
I ended up getting it where it

3009
03:04:13,700 --> 03:04:18,400
got into my lungs a little bit
again and started taking lots of

3010
03:04:18,400 --> 03:04:22,000
different supplements started
researching steroids in depth

3011
03:04:22,000 --> 03:04:25,200
you know red and literally 50
books on how to bring my system

3012
03:04:25,200 --> 03:04:28,900
up and open my lungs up and kind
of get back to lifting weights

3013
03:04:28,900 --> 03:04:31,900
like I had you know previous to
getting covid.

3014
03:04:31,900 --> 03:04:44,000
It wasn't just that so, little
Arc has struggled with rain Fox.

3015
03:04:44,000 --> 03:04:47,600
Yeah.
Lost some of his memory, he has,

3016
03:04:47,600 --> 03:04:52,400
you know, That they said he was
diabetic because his, you know,

3017
03:04:52,400 --> 03:04:55,400
his organs were shutting down.
Basically is not really

3018
03:04:55,400 --> 03:04:59,800
diabetic, but but his
reproductive system and

3019
03:04:59,800 --> 03:05:03,400
testosterone and hormones were
off keltic it, couldn't even

3020
03:05:03,400 --> 03:05:05,400
digest food.
It's like your energy, level

3021
03:05:05,400 --> 03:05:08,300
goes terrible.
And I was like what is happening

3022
03:05:08,300 --> 03:05:09,900
to me.
It's like I just all of a sudden

3023
03:05:09,900 --> 03:05:12,200
turned into a 90 year old person
with one foot in the grave.

3024
03:05:12,200 --> 03:05:15,300
It's like literally dysfunction
at a level.

3025
03:05:15,300 --> 03:05:19,300
I've never felt or couldn't I
couldn't imagine it actually you

3026
03:05:19,300 --> 03:05:22,200
just take it for granted when
you feel good as an athlete.

3027
03:05:22,200 --> 03:05:23,900
It's like, I've never known what
that is.

3028
03:05:23,900 --> 03:05:28,200
Like, put myself in someone
else's shoes, but we're hard to

3029
03:05:28,200 --> 03:05:29,400
work now.
And oh, yeah.

3030
03:05:29,400 --> 03:05:36,200
Every workout was hard and, um,
over the last few months, By

3031
03:05:36,200 --> 03:05:39,900
stop getting stronger.
So my exercise on the bike every

3032
03:05:39,900 --> 03:05:44,700
day for an hour very minimal and
I've never really experienced

3033
03:05:44,700 --> 03:05:48,400
such minimal growth where I
started even going backwards as

3034
03:05:48,400 --> 03:05:51,400
far as what I could lift on my
squats and other other

3035
03:05:51,400 --> 03:05:53,600
exercises.
I just thought this is crazy

3036
03:05:53,600 --> 03:05:57,200
what's happening.
So, you know, I started

3037
03:05:57,200 --> 03:05:59,300
researching different steroids
and things like that.

3038
03:05:59,300 --> 03:06:03,400
I started to take a few and they
really helped.

3039
03:06:03,400 --> 03:06:06,400
They gave me a bit of an
advantage, but the fascinating

3040
03:06:06,400 --> 03:06:10,400
thing is my own body when I was
healthy was producing more

3041
03:06:10,400 --> 03:06:15,400
hormones and more digestion and
a faster recovery by far than

3042
03:06:15,400 --> 03:06:18,600
any of these steroids that I
took or any pharmacy suitables.

3043
03:06:18,600 --> 03:06:23,200
And so, I've I've experimented
with them and while they were

3044
03:06:23,200 --> 03:06:27,800
helpful that didn't get me fully
on track and it's, it was so

3045
03:06:27,800 --> 03:06:30,800
frustrating to me last month
that I just said enough of this,

3046
03:06:30,800 --> 03:06:32,900
you know, I've taken all these
steroids, I've taken all these

3047
03:06:32,908 --> 03:06:34,400
Pharmacy suits I've tried all
the stuff.

3048
03:06:35,100 --> 03:06:40,900
One of the guys on Facebook has
fasted for 40 days to heal his

3049
03:06:40,900 --> 03:06:44,600
body of his, his inability to
digest food.

3050
03:06:44,600 --> 03:06:48,100
And I thought, well, okay, I'm
gonna least do about half that

3051
03:06:48,100 --> 03:06:54,900
and so I I fasted 24 days last
month and you know, lost 40

3052
03:06:54,900 --> 03:07:02,900
pounds more than that, but and
it really just affected me where

3053
03:07:04,400 --> 03:07:08,300
My memory started to return,
I've read thousands of books.

3054
03:07:08,300 --> 03:07:11,300
I've just I'm a voracious
reader, I love to study things,

3055
03:07:11,300 --> 03:07:13,000
I feel like I just need to know
more things.

3056
03:07:13,000 --> 03:07:16,200
I'm super curious.
Never felt like I had enough

3057
03:07:16,200 --> 03:07:20,700
answers for things in life and I
couldn't access most of those

3058
03:07:20,700 --> 03:07:22,800
books.
I memorized like 800 scriptures

3059
03:07:22,800 --> 03:07:25,700
on my mission and I couldn't
remember many of those

3060
03:07:25,700 --> 03:07:29,800
scriptures exactly where they
were. and during this fasting,

3061
03:07:29,800 --> 03:07:34,600
this last month, I started to
remember things again and the

3062
03:07:34,600 --> 03:07:37,500
scripture started to come back
to me on a lot of book passages

3063
03:07:37,500 --> 03:07:40,500
and things that I had read.
And in my dreams, I was becoming

3064
03:07:40,500 --> 03:07:43,600
more Lucid in marking.
You can never be too smart

3065
03:07:43,600 --> 03:07:47,700
because I'm basically being
hired by business owners, who

3066
03:07:47,700 --> 03:07:50,100
were already some of the
smartest people ever, and

3067
03:07:50,100 --> 03:07:54,300
they're great at what they do.
And I'm trying to help promote

3068
03:07:54,300 --> 03:07:56,700
their businesses better than
than what they can do.

3069
03:07:57,600 --> 03:08:00,300
And and that's how you even make
a living in marketing.

3070
03:08:01,200 --> 03:08:05,800
Um, and I was always struggling
to, to connect the dots and just

3071
03:08:05,800 --> 03:08:08,200
have my brain back.
And so this was just so

3072
03:08:08,200 --> 03:08:13,500
frustrating for me to just work
so hard, and not have that, you

3073
03:08:13,500 --> 03:08:17,000
know, sharpness, and mental
sharpness that I was having.

3074
03:08:17,000 --> 03:08:19,500
So just the fasting itself,
definitely?

3075
03:08:19,500 --> 03:08:22,900
You know, about 20 IQ points.
You know, I'm not back to what I

3076
03:08:22,900 --> 03:08:26,200
was as far as complete.
But, you know, maybe another 20

3077
03:08:26,200 --> 03:08:30,900
IQ points or more but, um,
definitely connecting the dots

3078
03:08:30,900 --> 03:08:36,500
more and my memories are turning
where I'm just going to be so

3079
03:08:36,500 --> 03:08:39,200
much more helpful physically
last week.

3080
03:08:39,200 --> 03:08:43,700
I Did my best squats that I've
done since I've had covid and I

3081
03:08:43,700 --> 03:08:46,700
just was so grateful and so
happy about I was just thrilled.

3082
03:08:46,700 --> 03:08:50,600
I just just on cloud nine.
Like, yes, but even more than

3083
03:08:50,600 --> 03:08:52,900
that is, you know, what is my
relationship?

3084
03:08:52,900 --> 03:08:55,700
Like With My Father in Heaven.
You know, after all these kind

3085
03:08:55,700 --> 03:08:58,300
of challenges like this, you're
like, you know, God, you know,

3086
03:08:58,300 --> 03:09:00,500
you still there, you know, do
you still love me?

3087
03:09:00,500 --> 03:09:03,100
You know, why did I have to
suffer this bad?

3088
03:09:03,100 --> 03:09:08,500
I don't really know the full
answer to why The whole covid

3089
03:09:08,500 --> 03:09:11,900
thing happened for me.
I really don't get it fully but

3090
03:09:11,900 --> 03:09:15,100
I can tell you, I have tons more
compassion for other people.

3091
03:09:15,100 --> 03:09:17,500
I'm not really experienced
anything.

3092
03:09:17,500 --> 03:09:23,100
This this much of Humble Pie
this much of Challenge.

3093
03:09:23,100 --> 03:09:24,200
You know.
Life's challenges.

3094
03:09:24,200 --> 03:09:31,300
How much more can it be?
And yet, I know he loves me so

3095
03:09:31,300 --> 03:09:34,500
much and I feel his love in my
life.

3096
03:09:34,500 --> 03:09:41,700
I feel the spirit, when I pray,
when joining I get together and

3097
03:09:41,700 --> 03:09:46,100
we pray, we read scriptures,
pretty much every night and I

3098
03:09:46,100 --> 03:09:48,000
feel his love in my life all the
time.

3099
03:09:48,000 --> 03:09:53,500
So I know hands and he has You
know, a soft spot for me.

3100
03:09:53,500 --> 03:09:58,000
And I have such a feeling of
gratitude for him and his

3101
03:09:58,000 --> 03:10:01,800
kindness in my life.
So I don't feel like I am pushed

3102
03:10:01,800 --> 03:10:06,400
him away, or I'm blaming him.
Exactly, or I'm angry at him.

3103
03:10:06,400 --> 03:10:07,600
You know.
I don't feel like I've really

3104
03:10:07,600 --> 03:10:11,300
had that.
Sense about dealing with covid

3105
03:10:11,300 --> 03:10:15,200
and the loss of Trevor or other
challenges that I've had where

3106
03:10:15,200 --> 03:10:17,900
we've lost, you know, a
significant amount of funds that

3107
03:10:17,900 --> 03:10:19,700
people misrepresented
themselves.

3108
03:10:19,700 --> 03:10:22,300
And, you know, we had some
business dealings, you know,

3109
03:10:22,300 --> 03:10:27,300
just during our marriage that
significant You know, and we're

3110
03:10:27,300 --> 03:10:30,000
still renting at the moment.
And we could have had a couple

3111
03:10:30,008 --> 03:10:33,400
houses with the funds that were
taken, so that is heartbreaking.

3112
03:10:33,400 --> 03:10:36,100
And it is a challenge and you're
like, well, you know, we've

3113
03:10:36,100 --> 03:10:37,800
tried to be good members of the
church.

3114
03:10:37,800 --> 03:10:40,600
We've tried to live our lives,
you know, in a way we were going

3115
03:10:40,600 --> 03:10:44,200
to the temple regularly we are,
you know, fasting and praying

3116
03:10:44,200 --> 03:10:47,900
and and serving other people as
best we can, but I don't still

3117
03:10:47,900 --> 03:10:50,300
feel like it's enough.
I still want to do so much more

3118
03:10:50,300 --> 03:10:55,500
honestly.
So, um, But I am grateful for.

3119
03:10:56,400 --> 03:10:59,300
The gospel and I'm grateful for,
you know what?

3120
03:10:59,300 --> 03:11:01,800
I've learned you just on this
podcast from from all of your

3121
03:11:01,800 --> 03:11:04,000
conversations.
I feel like that's helped me.

3122
03:11:04,000 --> 03:11:06,600
Be a better Christian and a
better member of the church and

3123
03:11:06,600 --> 03:11:10,600
a lot more excited about the
gospel and its really connected.

3124
03:11:10,600 --> 03:11:12,700
A lot of things that I didn't
fully understand, you know, I

3125
03:11:12,700 --> 03:11:15,800
served a mission, I go to BYU
education week, pretty much

3126
03:11:15,800 --> 03:11:19,200
every year.
I love so much of what the LDS

3127
03:11:19,200 --> 03:11:23,700
church is doing.
And there's just so much more to

3128
03:11:23,700 --> 03:11:25,700
understanding the gospel and
applying it.

3129
03:11:25,700 --> 03:11:27,700
I mean, certainly the simple
things are just love your

3130
03:11:27,700 --> 03:11:33,500
neighbor and love God.
I feel that in my heart. yeah,

3131
03:11:33,500 --> 03:11:37,400
there's plenty of Doctrinal
things that I'm still connecting

3132
03:11:37,400 --> 03:11:43,900
the dots on. um, so I feel like
that's our reason kind of

3133
03:11:43,900 --> 03:11:47,500
forgetting on this podcast.
Here also is to promote this new

3134
03:11:47,500 --> 03:11:51,900
website that we're helping you
with 1830 words.

3135
03:11:51,900 --> 03:11:53,800
I am.
We're gonna get there.

3136
03:11:53,800 --> 03:11:56,400
But there's there's, there's
couple more questions I want to

3137
03:11:56,400 --> 03:12:01,800
want to get to here, okay?
As far as.

3138
03:12:03,700 --> 03:12:06,200
Like have you been able to come
up with like a physical

3139
03:12:06,200 --> 03:12:08,600
explanation?
Why why I hit you as hard as it

3140
03:12:08,600 --> 03:12:10,200
did?
Because like you were the like

3141
03:12:10,200 --> 03:12:13,700
if there was a candidate to have
covid and make it through it you

3142
03:12:13,700 --> 03:12:15,400
were it right?
I mean yeah.

3143
03:12:15,400 --> 03:12:19,700
After we active It doesn't sound
like you were vitamin D

3144
03:12:19,700 --> 03:12:21,800
deficient anything like that.
Right?

3145
03:12:21,800 --> 03:12:25,200
So how have you were the doctors
or the southern?

3146
03:12:25,200 --> 03:12:29,000
Dr. You've talked to and all
said why it is it so hard more

3147
03:12:29,000 --> 03:12:33,800
than anybody else.
Um, the only thing that came up

3148
03:12:33,800 --> 03:12:36,600
with was when my blood was drawn
in the hospital which I don't

3149
03:12:36,608 --> 03:12:40,200
know exactly when they were
testing that they said I was

3150
03:12:40,200 --> 03:12:44,100
slightly vitamin D but I had
walked and I've been outside

3151
03:12:44,100 --> 03:12:47,800
twice with my shirt off that
week for an hour.

3152
03:12:47,800 --> 03:12:52,500
So I was getting sunlight and I
don't know, but it was very

3153
03:12:52,500 --> 03:12:55,800
minimal, it wasn't a lot but
that's the only marker that I

3154
03:12:55,800 --> 03:12:57,900
saw.
I wasn't you know diabetic I

3155
03:12:57,900 --> 03:13:04,400
wasn't dealing with you know,
more comorbidity is that most

3156
03:13:04,400 --> 03:13:08,200
people who suffered with covid.
Um had that got it.

3157
03:13:08,200 --> 03:13:14,300
So they're really was not any
quick easy marker and so it's

3158
03:13:14,300 --> 03:13:16,700
been puzzled to me as well.
It's like what was I doing?

3159
03:13:16,700 --> 03:13:18,600
Did I eat something that I
shouldn't have?

3160
03:13:18,600 --> 03:13:21,700
There really isn't anything.
I can really point to that

3161
03:13:21,700 --> 03:13:24,900
dropped my immune system.
Where I would have been

3162
03:13:24,900 --> 03:13:30,000
vulnerable but I did have three
exposures that week to people

3163
03:13:30,000 --> 03:13:36,300
who had covid and they say that
with covid, it's kind of

3164
03:13:36,300 --> 03:13:38,800
cumulative.
Like you get so much exposure on

3165
03:13:38,800 --> 03:13:43,600
your body, it just overwhelms
your body. and, Now, I wouldn't

3166
03:13:43,600 --> 03:13:46,800
have thought that that was
really possible because it's

3167
03:13:46,800 --> 03:13:50,100
like, well, your body just has a
good enough immune system or a

3168
03:13:50,100 --> 03:13:51,300
dozen and you can fight off
anything.

3169
03:13:51,300 --> 03:13:55,700
If you're you know, fit and
healthy do your spec.

3170
03:13:55,708 --> 03:13:57,900
I started to get the feeling
that we, as fundamentalists and

3171
03:13:57,900 --> 03:14:00,800
Orthodox Mormons, we need our
own stuff up to.

3172
03:14:00,800 --> 03:14:03,100
Now, we've been able to buy and
purchase all of our scriptures

3173
03:14:03,100 --> 03:14:07,200
books, art and music from other
restoration, organizations and

3174
03:14:07,200 --> 03:14:09,300
that's been good.
But there's no guarantee it's

3175
03:14:09,300 --> 03:14:12,700
going to remain that way.
All it can be a bit tricky to

3176
03:14:12,700 --> 03:14:15,500
scour the internet, trying to
find all the books from your

3177
03:14:15,500 --> 03:14:17,900
favorite fundamentalists or
Orthodox warming.

3178
03:14:17,900 --> 03:14:20,900
Authors as I thought about this,
I feel like I was really giving

3179
03:14:20,900 --> 03:14:23,600
a solution now through the hard
work of others because let's

3180
03:14:23,600 --> 03:14:26,200
face it.
I'm the guy least qualifying all

3181
03:14:26,200 --> 03:14:29,700
the world to build a website.
I'm happy to present to you 1830

3182
03:14:29,700 --> 03:14:32,900
mercantile.com right now.
On the website, you can see

3183
03:14:32,900 --> 03:14:34,500
that.
We have all the books have ever

3184
03:14:34,500 --> 03:14:37,200
been written, by four authors,
including games like, true

3185
03:14:37,200 --> 03:14:39,700
granny and Ogden Brown also very
soon.

3186
03:14:39,700 --> 03:14:41,700
There will be a link to buy art
and music.

3187
03:14:42,700 --> 03:14:45,300
All produced by Mormons with a
deep love for the restored

3188
03:14:45,300 --> 03:14:47,400
gospel.
There's also places for you to

3189
03:14:47,408 --> 03:14:51,300
get free resources where you can
find podcast, videos, classes,

3190
03:14:51,300 --> 03:14:54,200
and other presentations.
Also coming very soon.

3191
03:14:54,200 --> 03:14:57,000
There will be a place for events
where you can list the events

3192
03:14:57,000 --> 03:15:00,500
from your organization so that
you can get the most out of that

3193
03:15:00,500 --> 03:15:03,100
attendance.
Now this can be as big as you

3194
03:15:03,108 --> 03:15:05,000
want it to be.
It's all up to you guys out

3195
03:15:05,000 --> 03:15:07,400
there if you want to buy and
post things on here.

3196
03:15:07,400 --> 03:15:10,600
Now if you're someone who
produces something that you feel

3197
03:15:10,600 --> 03:15:14,000
like others can benefit from
1830 mercantiles, a place where

3198
03:15:14,008 --> 03:15:16,800
you can make all of those
products available for purchase.

3199
03:15:16,800 --> 03:15:19,800
All you need to do is drop me an
email at Mormon, Renegade at

3200
03:15:19,800 --> 03:15:24,000
gmail.com and put 1830 and in
the title or that email with a

3201
03:15:24,000 --> 03:15:26,200
short message.
And either myself or someone

3202
03:15:26,200 --> 03:15:29,400
else from the 1830 Mercantile
team will reach out to you so we

3203
03:15:29,400 --> 03:15:31,700
can get your product up there on
the site now.

3204
03:15:32,800 --> 03:15:36,400
To make sure that all the
products that we offer are

3205
03:15:36,400 --> 03:15:39,900
affordable and to ensure that
the vast majority of the profits

3206
03:15:39,900 --> 03:15:44,000
go to the producer, the website
percentage is only three to four

3207
03:15:44,008 --> 03:15:47,000
percent of the total cost and
that's just so I can pay the

3208
03:15:47,000 --> 03:15:49,600
pros that have created this
website and keep the lights on

3209
03:15:49,600 --> 03:15:52,800
the website itself.
Finally, by making some of your

3210
03:15:52,800 --> 03:15:56,600
purchases at 1830 mercantile.
You will be supporting folks,

3211
03:15:56,600 --> 03:15:58,900
whose principles and morals are
closed.

3212
03:15:58,900 --> 03:16:02,200
If not the same as yours at the
same time, not giving your money

3213
03:16:02,200 --> 03:16:03,800
away.
People who stand against

3214
03:16:03,800 --> 03:16:06,700
everything you stand for.
So no matter if you're looking

3215
03:16:06,700 --> 03:16:09,500
to make a purchase or you're a
seller that wants to get your

3216
03:16:09,500 --> 03:16:13,300
products listed head on over to
1830 Mercantile dot org today,

3217
03:16:13,300 --> 03:16:16,900
drop me an email and we'll make
sure that we get back out to you

3218
03:16:16,908 --> 03:16:18,800
now back to the show.
Yeah.

3219
03:16:18,800 --> 03:16:22,100
So that's that's so interesting.
Right.

3220
03:16:22,100 --> 03:16:25,800
Because look I think I got covid
four times three that I can

3221
03:16:25,800 --> 03:16:28,400
confirm and then one that I
can't that I think was too

3222
03:16:28,400 --> 03:16:30,400
early.
So Utah, does it done a business

3223
03:16:30,400 --> 03:16:33,300
with China?
Yeah, and the December before.

3224
03:16:34,600 --> 03:16:37,300
Before covid hit, right?
Because we start really hearing

3225
03:16:37,300 --> 03:16:40,500
about it in late January, and
then it becomes really a thing

3226
03:16:40,500 --> 03:16:44,700
in February December.
I had gotten just sick, right?

3227
03:16:44,700 --> 03:16:49,000
Like, I had never run a fever
before in my life, like I have

3228
03:16:49,000 --> 03:16:52,300
had, you know, I called my
mother, right?

3229
03:16:52,300 --> 03:16:55,900
And I was like, do I run fevers
because I was running like 104

3230
03:16:55,900 --> 03:17:00,500
fever and she's like, you
didn't, you didn't run a, a

3231
03:17:00,500 --> 03:17:02,200
fever.
When you were teething you

3232
03:17:02,208 --> 03:17:03,900
didn't run a fever when you had
chickenpox.

3233
03:17:03,900 --> 03:17:06,100
Like, I just don't run fevers,
right?

3234
03:17:06,900 --> 03:17:10,500
it's at 105 fever, a chest full
of Gunk, kind of looked like

3235
03:17:10,508 --> 03:17:17,600
jello, um, and I just kind of
you know, Amber's like Okay.

3236
03:17:17,600 --> 03:17:20,200
This is a horrible admission too
Amber cycle.

3237
03:17:20,200 --> 03:17:21,400
What do you do to get better,
right?

3238
03:17:21,400 --> 03:17:24,600
Because it ran the gamut in the
house and Amber's like what are

3239
03:17:24,600 --> 03:17:26,900
you gonna do to fix it?
And I'm like, I don't know, I

3240
03:17:26,900 --> 03:17:29,200
think I'm just gonna eat a steak
and some grapefruit and lift

3241
03:17:29,200 --> 03:17:30,400
some weights and see how that
does.

3242
03:17:30,400 --> 03:17:33,600
Right?
And fortunately for me, it

3243
03:17:33,600 --> 03:17:36,800
turned out right there is where
like my guardian angels are

3244
03:17:36,800 --> 03:17:40,600
like, he's a moron, right.
He Savage bees and absolutely

3245
03:17:40,600 --> 03:17:44,600
more.
Um, but anyway, I, you know,

3246
03:17:44,608 --> 03:17:48,100
caught, you know, look it got
real bad when I coughed up a

3247
03:17:48,100 --> 03:17:50,200
little bit of blood and I'm
like, Oh look The White.

3248
03:17:50,200 --> 03:17:52,800
Yeah, don't let the wife, see
that one, she'll make me go to

3249
03:17:52,800 --> 03:17:56,600
the doctor, the hell with that.
So I just like like put the

3250
03:17:56,600 --> 03:17:59,800
napkin in there, but then I
start hearing about covid.

3251
03:17:59,800 --> 03:18:03,000
And I think when you're in at
that time, I was right in the

3252
03:18:03,000 --> 03:18:05,200
train from Salt Lake to Pro
Orem, right?

3253
03:18:05,200 --> 03:18:09,200
So, and the train I got picked
up, always came from the

3254
03:18:09,200 --> 03:18:11,200
airport, so I am imagined.
That's why.

3255
03:18:11,200 --> 03:18:13,200
Yeah.
Easy to get.

3256
03:18:13,200 --> 03:18:16,000
Nah.
And but then I got three more

3257
03:18:16,000 --> 03:18:18,200
times and I, it really was
nothing.

3258
03:18:18,200 --> 03:18:24,000
Like the the second time I got
it, it was like, um, Allergies,

3259
03:18:24,000 --> 03:18:26,500
right, I guess because I don't
have allergies either.

3260
03:18:26,500 --> 03:18:30,000
But you know, I was like, okay
this must be what allergies feel

3261
03:18:30,000 --> 03:18:34,600
like and then they said I got
this email at work going covid.

3262
03:18:34,600 --> 03:18:37,800
Tracing has said, you have been
in contact, please come up to

3263
03:18:37,800 --> 03:18:40,900
the kind.
Oh wow, dang it.

3264
03:18:40,900 --> 03:18:43,900
Alright, so I go up and sure
enough I got covid, so I go home

3265
03:18:43,900 --> 03:18:47,200
for a week and I was better than
the next day, right?

3266
03:18:47,200 --> 03:18:50,200
I'm like, well, this is done,
but looks like I'm gonna get

3267
03:18:50,200 --> 03:18:52,400
real good at Madden over the
next week, right?

3268
03:18:52,400 --> 03:18:57,100
Because I got nothing else going
on. and then, In and then I got

3269
03:18:57,100 --> 03:18:57,900
it one.
Other time.

3270
03:18:57,900 --> 03:19:01,400
The only symptom I knew had, the
only reason I even remotely

3271
03:19:01,400 --> 03:19:05,400
thought I had, it was because I
was taking a shower and Amber

3272
03:19:05,400 --> 03:19:07,600
had bought me new soap.
And I went to smell the soap and

3273
03:19:07,600 --> 03:19:11,200
I couldn't smell anything like
wow, yeah, wrap right.

3274
03:19:11,200 --> 03:19:14,300
Like dang it.
And then sure enough I get to

3275
03:19:14,300 --> 03:19:17,400
work the next day and there's
another email, like, come see

3276
03:19:17,400 --> 03:19:21,900
us, you you've been in contact
another week off and then the

3277
03:19:21,900 --> 03:19:25,100
third time, I didn't even know
nothing nothing at all.

3278
03:19:25,100 --> 03:19:29,000
I mean, like it was literally
just them sending out the email.

3279
03:19:29,000 --> 03:19:32,900
Now, a guy that looks like me, I
expect to be in the hospital,

3280
03:19:32,900 --> 03:19:36,200
right.
Like and so it was just it's odd

3281
03:19:36,200 --> 03:19:39,700
how it hit people, right?
But I do think some of that had

3282
03:19:39,700 --> 03:19:43,000
to do with viral load.
I think some of it too.

3283
03:19:43,000 --> 03:19:46,900
Could be just You get caught in
a bad time, right?

3284
03:19:46,900 --> 03:19:49,000
I know something.
One guy caught it and caught it

3285
03:19:49,008 --> 03:19:51,700
bad kind of like you were Corey
athlete.

3286
03:19:51,700 --> 03:19:54,400
I mean.
Into it hard, right?

3287
03:19:55,300 --> 03:19:58,600
He was traveling and had done
quite a bit of traveling, which

3288
03:19:58,600 --> 03:20:00,600
I say lowers your immune system
anyway.

3289
03:20:00,600 --> 03:20:02,500
Right?
Because you're, you're

3290
03:20:02,500 --> 03:20:05,500
encountering.
Air travel air travel.

3291
03:20:05,500 --> 03:20:06,700
Yeah.
Take you down a lot.

3292
03:20:06,700 --> 03:20:09,200
Yep.
And so that's where he figured

3293
03:20:09,200 --> 03:20:11,200
he got, but it was just strange
how it hit everybody.

3294
03:20:11,200 --> 03:20:15,000
But and, and one other thing I
wanted to point out here, that

3295
03:20:15,000 --> 03:20:18,800
occurred to me, you had said,
you know, you you think you were

3296
03:20:18,800 --> 03:20:22,600
healed because you had worked to
do and I don't doubt that for a

3297
03:20:22,600 --> 03:20:25,600
moment.
But also I think maybe the Lord

3298
03:20:25,600 --> 03:20:28,200
and and you alluded to this a
little bit Lord was trying to

3299
03:20:28,200 --> 03:20:31,400
teach you compassion, I think
right if I was to guess, right?

3300
03:20:31,400 --> 03:20:36,000
Or because I always come out of
those kinds of things like I

3301
03:20:36,000 --> 03:20:39,400
remember I tore my ACL.
And all the sun, I had

3302
03:20:39,400 --> 03:20:41,700
compassion on people that I
never thought I'd have

3303
03:20:41,700 --> 03:20:46,400
compassion on because I'm
homebound, I can go in to rehab

3304
03:20:46,400 --> 03:20:49,700
for two hours, a day tops, and
it's all white weight, and I

3305
03:20:49,700 --> 03:20:52,700
frustrated, and I'm angry
because I can't do anything

3306
03:20:52,700 --> 03:20:55,000
right, can't get outside.
I'm just stuck.

3307
03:20:55,000 --> 03:20:59,100
Um, so I, I could see where that
would do it, but man, that's,

3308
03:20:59,100 --> 03:21:02,700
that's some crazy stuff and, and
it sounds like you're on the

3309
03:21:02,700 --> 03:21:04,800
downhill side, but you're still
dealing with stuff.

3310
03:21:05,600 --> 03:21:06,700
Yep.
Yep.

3311
03:21:06,700 --> 03:21:11,400
And you know there's been so
many experiments yet the last

3312
03:21:11,400 --> 03:21:14,900
little bit, you know, I felt the
strongest impression that had my

3313
03:21:14,900 --> 03:21:18,000
father would heal me completely
and to me that is the greatest

3314
03:21:18,000 --> 03:21:21,800
gift of knowing that I just
believed in his promises.

3315
03:21:21,800 --> 03:21:24,900
I believe in those Impressions
that I get when, I know they're

3316
03:21:24,900 --> 03:21:27,300
real impression from him.
It's not something I'm just

3317
03:21:27,300 --> 03:21:30,800
making up or putting into, you
know, wishful thinking kind of

3318
03:21:30,808 --> 03:21:32,900
thing.
When I know those are from him,

3319
03:21:32,900 --> 03:21:36,300
I just feels me with a lot of
gratitude that, you know what?

3320
03:21:36,300 --> 03:21:38,400
I'm gonna have my body back.
I'm going to be able to lift

3321
03:21:38,400 --> 03:21:40,800
those really heavy weights.
Again, I'm going to be, you

3322
03:21:40,800 --> 03:21:42,800
know, able to cycle race again
at a good clip.

3323
03:21:42,800 --> 03:21:45,800
And I was, you know, I was
doing, you know, 100 miles and,

3324
03:21:45,800 --> 03:21:49,300
you know, almost 20 miles an
hour up, the Utah Canyon's, you

3325
03:21:49,300 --> 03:21:53,800
know, go from Salt Lake to
Morgan to Ogden back again and,

3326
03:21:53,800 --> 03:21:56,300
you know, you know, little more
than five hours.

3327
03:21:57,600 --> 03:22:00,000
Yeah, that was another
hopefully.

3328
03:22:00,900 --> 03:22:03,200
Oh sorry.
What's that was another thing

3329
03:22:03,200 --> 03:22:06,400
the doctor said is he's got
bigger blood vessels in a bigger

3330
03:22:06,400 --> 03:22:10,900
Hearts because of you know, his
athletic years cycling.

3331
03:22:10,900 --> 03:22:16,600
You know, the aerobics built his
bill, his body up and that may

3332
03:22:16,600 --> 03:22:18,600
have saved his life as well.
Yeah.

3333
03:22:18,600 --> 03:22:23,600
Interesting.
Well, are we ready to move on to

3334
03:22:23,600 --> 03:22:25,000
more?
Shinier happier things.

3335
03:22:25,000 --> 03:22:26,100
Sure.
Yeah.

3336
03:22:26,100 --> 03:22:28,200
Which one you want to cover
first?

3337
03:22:30,200 --> 03:22:35,800
Well into 1830 or um, yeah.
Yeah, sure.

3338
03:22:35,800 --> 03:22:38,200
Let's go in the 1830.
Tell you what?

3339
03:22:38,200 --> 03:22:40,600
I'm gonna share my screen real
quick, so I got the website

3340
03:22:40,600 --> 03:22:43,600
pulled up.
All right, unless you wanted to

3341
03:22:43,600 --> 03:22:44,600
do it.
Oh no.

3342
03:22:44,600 --> 03:22:48,200
Have that, okay?
So I okay.

3343
03:22:48,200 --> 03:22:52,000
So full disclosure, this one
was, was kind of my idea that

3344
03:22:52,000 --> 03:22:57,400
that I asked, Tony Corey and
Joanie to help me on here. so,

3345
03:22:58,600 --> 03:23:03,300
As fundamentalists like once a
year usually about October and

3346
03:23:03,300 --> 03:23:05,600
November.
I'm coming up on that again.

3347
03:23:05,600 --> 03:23:09,800
Scared to do that again.
I I stopped for a moment and and

3348
03:23:09,800 --> 03:23:12,300
I asked I asked God, where do
you want me to take this next?

3349
03:23:12,300 --> 03:23:14,200
Cuz look, I still stand by the
fact.

3350
03:23:14,200 --> 03:23:16,900
I am the last guy in the world
that should be doing a podcast

3351
03:23:16,900 --> 03:23:18,400
ever.
Just Barnard.

3352
03:23:18,400 --> 03:23:24,200
Not really in my wheelhouse.
But yet, here I am. that said,

3353
03:23:25,600 --> 03:23:28,000
Because I know I'm unqualified
for this.

3354
03:23:28,000 --> 03:23:32,300
I check in with the Lord a lot
because it's the only way that

3355
03:23:32,300 --> 03:23:37,900
I'm gonna keep my head above
water on the and, I remember it

3356
03:23:37,900 --> 03:23:43,100
was it was about The first time
I get, get the inclination for

3357
03:23:43,100 --> 03:23:46,400
this it's about two years ago
and it takes me a while to wrap

3358
03:23:46,400 --> 03:23:49,800
my head around this.
But the thought comes.

3359
03:23:50,600 --> 03:23:52,200
Fundamentalist need their own
stuff.

3360
03:23:53,500 --> 03:23:57,800
Right.
Um, we still have the

3361
03:23:57,800 --> 03:24:01,700
opportunity to go to Deseret
Book and buy our scriptures and

3362
03:24:01,700 --> 03:24:03,900
buy artwork and those sorts of
things.

3363
03:24:05,200 --> 03:24:07,800
But I could see a day where that
wouldn't be the case.

3364
03:24:07,800 --> 03:24:11,800
Right.
Where where either a scripture

3365
03:24:11,800 --> 03:24:15,800
will change is made that that
fundamentalist don't agree with

3366
03:24:15,800 --> 03:24:23,500
whether We just can't go there
anymore for whatever reason and

3367
03:24:23,500 --> 03:24:26,600
so I start thinking about it
like, okay, where do we gonna do

3368
03:24:26,600 --> 03:24:30,800
in this at this, at this point?
and, I remember there was

3369
03:24:30,800 --> 03:24:33,900
another frustration I had of
just, it's like if I wanted to

3370
03:24:33,908 --> 03:24:37,100
go buy a fundamentalist book or
a set of books, I had to like,

3371
03:24:37,108 --> 03:24:39,900
go to Amazon and like track
everything down and bring it all

3372
03:24:39,900 --> 03:24:43,100
into one place and then try to
do it and it was just a pain.

3373
03:24:44,000 --> 03:24:48,300
And so my thought was is well
why can't we have a bookstore?

3374
03:24:48,300 --> 03:24:52,000
Why can't we have a place where
we can go get the stuff that we

3375
03:24:52,000 --> 03:24:54,200
want.
And we don't have to go.

3376
03:24:55,200 --> 03:24:58,600
Travel the internet for three,
three days, trying to find it

3377
03:24:58,600 --> 03:25:01,100
all.
And so that was kind of the

3378
03:25:01,100 --> 03:25:05,200
Genesis behind this.
And this is what, what I I've

3379
03:25:05,200 --> 03:25:08,700
come up with and and Corey and
Joni really did most of the work

3380
03:25:08,700 --> 03:25:12,000
on to help me get there.
Because Not only should I not be

3381
03:25:12,000 --> 03:25:13,800
doing podcasts?
I really shouldn't be making

3382
03:25:13,800 --> 03:25:19,100
websites either.
Um, like my When I told when I

3383
03:25:19,100 --> 03:25:21,700
told Amber and Tanya about this,
they're like you can't get

3384
03:25:21,700 --> 03:25:25,100
dressed in the morning and look
like a functional adult, like

3385
03:25:25,100 --> 03:25:28,200
you have no fashion sense, like
how are you going to build a

3386
03:25:28,200 --> 03:25:30,100
website?
And I'm like, you're not wrong,

3387
03:25:30,100 --> 03:25:35,600
you're not wrong.
Like wherever I go, I do make a

3388
03:25:35,600 --> 03:25:38,900
fashion statement and it's this
that's it, right?

3389
03:25:38,900 --> 03:25:43,800
That's the fashion statement.
Um, but So your help on this was

3390
03:25:43,800 --> 03:25:45,600
instrumental, but let me share
my screen here.

3391
03:25:49,200 --> 03:25:52,000
So this is 1830 Mercantile, dot
org.

3392
03:25:52,000 --> 03:25:57,200
And this is going to be a place.
I hope that we can keep up and

3393
03:25:57,200 --> 03:26:03,300
running and it will be able to
facilitate the needs of other

3394
03:26:03,300 --> 03:26:07,100
fundamentalists out there.
Now, right now, we just have

3395
03:26:07,100 --> 03:26:11,000
books up but there is going to
be a section for like your home

3396
03:26:11,000 --> 03:26:13,200
where I Envision artwork or
something like that.

3397
03:26:13,200 --> 03:26:17,500
There'll be a place for music.
I'm working with people to get

3398
03:26:17,508 --> 03:26:21,300
that going right now.
Same with the artwork, but we do

3399
03:26:21,300 --> 03:26:26,500
have books.
And so Corey and Joni, I'm gonna

3400
03:26:26,500 --> 03:26:29,000
let you guys kind of take it
away here and you can tell me

3401
03:26:29,000 --> 03:26:33,600
where to poke buttons at.
You're not and and tell us kind

3402
03:26:33,600 --> 03:26:39,600
of what what your thoughts were
in creating this and where what

3403
03:26:39,600 --> 03:26:42,200
some of the challenges were and
then when when stuff came

3404
03:26:42,200 --> 03:26:47,400
together and that sort of thing,
It is certain oh, okay.

3405
03:26:47,400 --> 03:26:54,000
Well, I think you know, having
friends who are In the

3406
03:26:54,008 --> 03:26:59,300
fundamentalist Camp, the
struggle or independent even the

3407
03:26:59,300 --> 03:27:03,200
struggle is that there's not
enough unity.

3408
03:27:03,200 --> 03:27:07,600
And I know, you know, there's
some frustration with the church

3409
03:27:09,700 --> 03:27:12,400
That's some people have but if
you look at what the church has

3410
03:27:12,400 --> 03:27:18,100
been able to do because of its
being unified, then it's done a

3411
03:27:18,100 --> 03:27:20,400
lot of good and that's where we
kind of skipped over.

3412
03:27:20,400 --> 03:27:24,200
Corey's.
The family history, where his

3413
03:27:24,200 --> 03:27:27,100
mom was.
Well, we'll get to that after.

3414
03:27:27,100 --> 03:27:32,100
Well, but the church the church
gave food to people Ezra Taft

3415
03:27:32,100 --> 03:27:35,400
Benson gave food to you know
fought to give food to people

3416
03:27:35,400 --> 03:27:38,700
that people in Germany.
Maybe maybe I should get to that

3417
03:27:38,700 --> 03:27:43,100
now.
Yeah. my family um kind of

3418
03:27:43,108 --> 03:27:46,800
joined the church because on
both sides they had missionaries

3419
03:27:46,800 --> 03:27:54,400
that both my parents met and, My
mother's experience is just

3420
03:27:54,400 --> 03:28:00,000
especially profound in.
In kind of what happened to her.

3421
03:28:00,000 --> 03:28:06,000
I grew up in Germany, my father
was military, he was

3422
03:28:06,000 --> 03:28:09,200
commissioned to BYU and went
over there after he met my

3423
03:28:09,200 --> 03:28:12,400
mother to raise us children in
Germany where we have relatives

3424
03:28:12,400 --> 03:28:16,500
and we kind of covered some of
that story already but share

3425
03:28:16,500 --> 03:28:18,700
your mother but I wanted to kind
of share what happened with my

3426
03:28:18,700 --> 03:28:24,700
mother and during World War Two.
There were bombings and

3427
03:28:24,700 --> 03:28:29,200
obviously the fight between
Russia and Poland and and the

3428
03:28:29,200 --> 03:28:32,100
area that they were living and
it ended up getting bombed out.

3429
03:28:34,600 --> 03:28:39,400
My grandmother grabbed a wheel
car, or a hand car and kind of

3430
03:28:39,400 --> 03:28:43,600
tracked, all the way from the
Poland area, all the way to

3431
03:28:43,600 --> 03:28:49,800
yanon and Germany, which is, you
know, 300 miles within a hand

3432
03:28:49,800 --> 03:28:53,500
car, the train tracks.
You know, we're being bombed

3433
03:28:53,500 --> 03:28:56,700
behind them.
Just a lot of chaos was going

3434
03:28:56,700 --> 03:29:01,000
on.
She was protected several times

3435
03:29:01,000 --> 03:29:03,400
where she felt like she needed
to get out of the bomb shelter

3436
03:29:03,400 --> 03:29:10,200
and She felt like God had
protected her because she felt

3437
03:29:10,200 --> 03:29:12,900
impressed to leave.
And she actually couldn't

3438
03:29:12,900 --> 03:29:15,400
breathe.
And the people tried to hold her

3439
03:29:15,400 --> 03:29:20,900
back, but she pushed through and
then found another person's home

3440
03:29:20,900 --> 03:29:23,800
to stay in during the bombing.
And she came back and that bomb

3441
03:29:23,800 --> 03:29:25,600
shelter was destroyed and I was
my grandmother.

3442
03:29:26,400 --> 03:29:30,200
And she knocked on doors, once
she got, you know, 300 miles

3443
03:29:30,200 --> 03:29:36,100
away from the wars Zone a bit.
And her relatives did not take

3444
03:29:36,100 --> 03:29:39,700
her in.
So she wasn't able to get food

3445
03:29:39,700 --> 03:29:41,700
from friends or relatives and a
lot of these cities, she

3446
03:29:41,700 --> 03:29:46,300
actually dug in Farmers fields
to get potatoes and radishes on

3447
03:29:46,300 --> 03:29:48,700
different foods.
There to feed my mother and my

3448
03:29:48,700 --> 03:29:52,800
aunt. and I ended up chatting
with my aunt here just to double

3449
03:29:52,800 --> 03:29:55,300
triple check all of the little
story elements so that I would

3450
03:29:55,308 --> 03:29:59,600
just kind of share kind of a
brief little history but What

3451
03:29:59,600 --> 03:30:03,000
was interesting is that during
the the last few months of the

3452
03:30:03,000 --> 03:30:06,900
war, once the Germans
surrendered, Great Britain and

3453
03:30:06,900 --> 03:30:11,800
America shut off the the ports
to bring food into the cities in

3454
03:30:11,800 --> 03:30:16,300
Germany.
So that choice actually killed A

3455
03:30:16,300 --> 03:30:19,000
lot of men women and children by
the millions in Germany.

3456
03:30:19,000 --> 03:30:23,100
It's probably the the cruelest
thing that America did as a

3457
03:30:23,100 --> 03:30:25,900
country in World War Two,
they're going to have to answer

3458
03:30:25,900 --> 03:30:33,200
for But my my grandmother wasn't
unable to get food and Ezra Taft

3459
03:30:33,200 --> 03:30:35,100
Benson.
He knew about what was going on.

3460
03:30:35,100 --> 03:30:38,300
That the German people and the
members in Germany were

3461
03:30:38,300 --> 03:30:42,800
starving.
And he asked, Eisenhower, can I

3462
03:30:42,800 --> 03:30:45,900
send food to the Mormons there
in Germany?

3463
03:30:45,900 --> 03:30:51,800
And he said, yes, I'll allow it.
So, my grandmother ended up

3464
03:30:51,800 --> 03:30:55,700
getting food that you kind of
saved her life and, and some of

3465
03:30:55,708 --> 03:30:58,100
those food packages.
And then she eventually

3466
03:30:58,100 --> 03:31:01,600
immigrated to America where she
wanted to find out about the

3467
03:31:01,600 --> 03:31:04,600
church.
That was so kind to send food,

3468
03:31:04,600 --> 03:31:10,300
and, and resources and special
packs of of first aid items and

3469
03:31:10,300 --> 03:31:13,000
Necessities to people.
They didn't even know.

3470
03:31:13,000 --> 03:31:16,100
And then she joined the church.
She just wanted to be part of

3471
03:31:16,108 --> 03:31:18,700
all of that after she heard more
about it.

3472
03:31:18,700 --> 03:31:22,700
But, you know, in this kind of
world where everyone's fighting

3473
03:31:22,700 --> 03:31:27,300
online for, Figuring out what's
right?

3474
03:31:27,300 --> 03:31:31,800
A lot of people are angry at the
LDS church, you know, atheists,

3475
03:31:31,800 --> 03:31:34,200
you know, sometimes the gays
liberals and others.

3476
03:31:34,200 --> 03:31:36,900
Are some people are expressing a
lot of anger on line and hate

3477
03:31:36,900 --> 03:31:40,500
towards the church but nobody's
ever, really recognizing.

3478
03:31:40,500 --> 03:31:44,100
The fact that That the LDS
church is literally saved

3479
03:31:44,100 --> 03:31:45,600
people's lives by the hundreds
of thousands.

3480
03:31:45,600 --> 03:31:51,000
And while they're criticizing
this organization, how much of

3481
03:31:51,000 --> 03:31:53,400
these atheists done to save
hundreds of thousands of

3482
03:31:53,400 --> 03:31:56,000
people's lives?
How many of these auntymaza are

3483
03:31:56,008 --> 03:31:57,900
saving Hunters of thousands of
people's lives?

3484
03:31:57,900 --> 03:32:02,600
The LDS church actually has been
part of that and they do lots of

3485
03:32:02,600 --> 03:32:05,100
good things because they do get
together as a group.

3486
03:32:05,100 --> 03:32:08,500
And so I'm just so grateful for
that.

3487
03:32:10,300 --> 03:32:12,600
And I feel like that's just
something that needs to be said,

3488
03:32:12,600 --> 03:32:16,700
you know, in context of yeah,
the LDS church is doing, you

3489
03:32:16,700 --> 03:32:20,200
know, some amazing things and
can they do a lot more things?

3490
03:32:20,200 --> 03:32:21,700
Absolutely.
Are there.

3491
03:32:21,700 --> 03:32:24,200
Some things that they've perhaps
made some mistakes with?

3492
03:32:24,200 --> 03:32:26,200
Yeah, you know, we're seeing
some of that.

3493
03:32:26,200 --> 03:32:29,200
A lot of those conversations are
being had on your your website

3494
03:32:29,200 --> 03:32:35,000
here or your your podcast. and I
would just say the reason I

3495
03:32:35,000 --> 03:32:39,100
think that story is so relevant
is because the website's about

3496
03:32:39,108 --> 03:32:45,100
building Unity among Not just
the fundamentalist that any any

3497
03:32:45,100 --> 03:32:49,000
more men Independence or any
groups and that's worse.

3498
03:32:49,600 --> 03:32:54,000
stronger together, you know, not
to pull out any corny lines but

3499
03:32:55,300 --> 03:32:58,700
Really.
There's so many things we can't

3500
03:32:58,700 --> 03:33:02,000
build Zion alone, like we can't
build Zion alone, and I know

3501
03:33:02,008 --> 03:33:05,900
there's some frustrations with.
Well, the LDS church has really

3502
03:33:05,900 --> 03:33:08,000
commercialized things and we
don't want to do that.

3503
03:33:08,000 --> 03:33:13,200
But the the reality is, is that
you vote with your dollar, you

3504
03:33:13,200 --> 03:33:17,000
know, and if we're not going to
use, I mean, if we're not going

3505
03:33:17,000 --> 03:33:20,900
to buy things from people who
have good Hearts, who are we

3506
03:33:20,900 --> 03:33:23,600
going to buy things from, you
know, in the current climate,

3507
03:33:23,600 --> 03:33:27,200
maybe at some future time will
figure out a way to like, trade

3508
03:33:27,200 --> 03:33:32,100
or not need to buy things but we
need to buy things so who we buy

3509
03:33:32,100 --> 03:33:35,600
it from does matter.
And so, I see this as an online

3510
03:33:35,600 --> 03:33:40,100
Gathering Place for people who,
you know, want Zion in their

3511
03:33:40,100 --> 03:33:43,100
hearts where it's like, hey, you
know what, here's my talents,

3512
03:33:43,100 --> 03:33:46,000
you know, let your talent shine.
Here's the books.

3513
03:33:46,000 --> 03:33:47,700
Here's the music.
Here's the art.

3514
03:33:47,700 --> 03:33:53,700
And let the world see that and
let it be a testimony to who you

3515
03:33:53,700 --> 03:33:57,300
are.
And And yeah, you guys deserve

3516
03:33:57,300 --> 03:33:59,700
to have your own Deseret Book.
Totally.

3517
03:33:59,700 --> 03:34:03,800
Totally, you know, here's what
I'll say about this too, in

3518
03:34:03,800 --> 03:34:07,300
terms of the Unity part, right?
Don't, I don't want people to

3519
03:34:07,300 --> 03:34:10,200
get to get it kind of Twisted
here, right?

3520
03:34:10,200 --> 03:34:15,400
I am not looking to try.
This project is not looking to

3521
03:34:15,400 --> 03:34:21,100
try to.
Get everybody to together

3522
03:34:21,100 --> 03:34:22,300
religiously.
Right.

3523
03:34:22,300 --> 03:34:26,300
So to speak, I think it's a good
thing that there's a couple

3524
03:34:26,300 --> 03:34:30,400
different flavors of this thing
out there because what works for

3525
03:34:30,400 --> 03:34:35,000
one group, or one person may not
work for another right?

3526
03:34:35,000 --> 03:34:39,400
And so there needs to be choice.
I believe that I believe in the

3527
03:34:39,400 --> 03:34:42,500
in the marketplace of ideas, I
think that's a good thing.

3528
03:34:44,100 --> 03:34:48,000
But having said that we better
figure out where we can work

3529
03:34:48,000 --> 03:34:51,600
together on some things, right?
The days are coming quickly,

3530
03:34:51,600 --> 03:34:55,900
that I think we're going to need
each other and if we can't, if

3531
03:34:55,900 --> 03:34:58,200
we can't even do a little bit of
business together.

3532
03:34:59,300 --> 03:35:03,400
We're we're not gonna, we have
very little chance of hanging

3533
03:35:03,400 --> 03:35:07,600
together in my estimation.
I think we have to where we can

3534
03:35:07,600 --> 03:35:10,000
work together.
And, and this was one place

3535
03:35:10,000 --> 03:35:12,600
where I saw, okay.
I think this could be one of

3536
03:35:12,608 --> 03:35:15,800
those things, right?
And so my hopes were is that you

3537
03:35:15,808 --> 03:35:18,400
know people can go on here.
They could find Drew Barney's

3538
03:35:18,400 --> 03:35:24,100
books, which we got all of them.
Also Kevin Krause book which we

3539
03:35:24,100 --> 03:35:29,300
got all of them as well as Nate
Richardson and other guys that

3540
03:35:29,300 --> 03:35:33,700
you're going to recognize and
this is just in its infancy.

3541
03:35:33,700 --> 03:35:38,300
So the announcements going out.
Now that hey if you if you make

3542
03:35:38,300 --> 03:35:42,900
art Can just up with an email,
we'll put your stuff up there.

3543
03:35:42,900 --> 03:35:46,600
If you make clothing, hit us up,
you know, fundamentalist have

3544
03:35:46,600 --> 03:35:50,200
some pretty specific clothing
needs, right?

3545
03:35:50,200 --> 03:35:53,700
I mean, we look, we wear the
long Army, right?

3546
03:35:53,700 --> 03:35:56,700
So, it would be nice to be able
to find a shirt.

3547
03:35:56,708 --> 03:35:59,900
That's maybe not plaid.
I'm just saying that's my hopes

3548
03:35:59,900 --> 03:36:05,300
one day, um, and and be able to,
to, you know, have our own just

3549
03:36:05,300 --> 03:36:08,300
have our own stuff.
The other thing I want you to

3550
03:36:08,308 --> 03:36:12,100
address is I am taking very
little money off of this.

3551
03:36:12,100 --> 03:36:16,800
I am keeping a little bit just
to keep the lights on to pay,

3552
03:36:16,800 --> 03:36:22,200
try to pay Corey and Joni try to
get something working and in

3553
03:36:22,200 --> 03:36:24,900
that direction, just keep the
lights on.

3554
03:36:24,900 --> 03:36:29,700
So, I broke it down and I talked
to Kevin crowd about this,

3555
03:36:29,700 --> 03:36:33,000
because, you know, I felt like
Kevin would be in the know he

3556
03:36:33,000 --> 03:36:35,200
sells books, right?
He sells paper, that's what he

3557
03:36:35,200 --> 03:36:38,300
does.
And Kevin's when I approached

3558
03:36:38,300 --> 03:36:40,400
Kevin about this, he's like,
well how much are you taking?

3559
03:36:40,400 --> 03:36:43,100
I was like somewhere between
three to four percent of every

3560
03:36:43,100 --> 03:36:45,500
sale.
And he's like that's way too low

3561
03:36:45,500 --> 03:36:50,100
and I'm like, you know what, I
would rather have people on the

3562
03:36:50,100 --> 03:36:52,200
site buying stuff from other
people.

3563
03:36:53,200 --> 03:36:56,500
Then me rack up my, my banking
account, that's not what this is

3564
03:36:56,500 --> 03:36:58,600
for.
I have other ways of doing that,

3565
03:36:58,600 --> 03:37:02,000
this is not that.
So, rest assured, I am not

3566
03:37:02,000 --> 03:37:05,300
getting rich off and anybody,
right?

3567
03:37:05,300 --> 03:37:09,300
I've done this on a shoe budget.
You guys have helped me out of

3568
03:37:09,300 --> 03:37:13,100
the kindness to your hearts.
This is just about getting us to

3569
03:37:13,100 --> 03:37:16,900
start being able to, to share
whatever talent you have.

3570
03:37:18,000 --> 03:37:22,000
That in the way of of goods and
services and be able to share

3571
03:37:22,000 --> 03:37:24,900
that with other Mormons is what
the thrust is here.

3572
03:37:24,900 --> 03:37:28,200
But I apologize for that.
Little bit of a side tangent,

3573
03:37:28,200 --> 03:37:29,900
but I wanted to get that out
there I am.

3574
03:37:29,900 --> 03:37:33,000
This is not me trying to make
money off of this.

3575
03:37:33,000 --> 03:37:38,000
And I'm not trying to, to just
put everybody under one banner.

3576
03:37:38,000 --> 03:37:42,100
I like having different groups,
I like having Independence and

3577
03:37:42,100 --> 03:37:44,300
I'm not trying to get rid of
that.

3578
03:37:44,300 --> 03:37:47,200
I'm just trying to get us all
where we can work a little

3579
03:37:47,208 --> 03:37:49,900
closer together and just do some
business together.

3580
03:37:51,000 --> 03:37:52,300
Right.
Right.

3581
03:37:52,300 --> 03:37:57,400
So as as I approached you guys
with this with this project like

3582
03:37:57,400 --> 03:37:59,700
what was the hardest part of
this whole thing?

3583
03:38:01,900 --> 03:38:04,200
Oh, just trying to get the
biography from everybody.

3584
03:38:04,200 --> 03:38:06,800
I felt like just trying to
understand where everybody's

3585
03:38:06,800 --> 03:38:12,000
coming from and what the Their
story and and trying to share

3586
03:38:12,000 --> 03:38:14,500
their story in a way that you
know, really fits.

3587
03:38:15,700 --> 03:38:17,800
That really highlights like your
gift.

3588
03:38:17,800 --> 03:38:21,700
The highlights Ogden crowds
gift, Kevin crowds, gift Drew

3589
03:38:21,700 --> 03:38:25,800
Brioni, spending the time to,
you know, articulate those kind

3590
03:38:25,800 --> 03:38:28,500
of stories.
So I that's kind of the biggest

3591
03:38:28,500 --> 03:38:31,000
challenge.
So I'm hopeful that everyone who

3592
03:38:31,000 --> 03:38:36,200
comes to this and has some new
products, or ebooks or art or

3593
03:38:36,200 --> 03:38:40,600
Unholy here in the near future.
You are services that you

3594
03:38:40,600 --> 03:38:43,700
provide.
I really would love to have

3595
03:38:43,700 --> 03:38:47,100
great photos and kind of a
little start on a bio, you can

3596
03:38:47,100 --> 03:38:49,400
kind of look at, you know, how
I've written everything up for

3597
03:38:49,400 --> 03:38:51,400
for everyone else on the
website.

3598
03:38:51,400 --> 03:38:55,900
I know what, let's let's take a
look at some some that up for

3599
03:38:55,900 --> 03:38:59,800
yourself and then I can kind of
edit and and help a bit of the

3600
03:38:59,808 --> 03:39:04,400
story along.
Absolutely, all of these people,

3601
03:39:04,400 --> 03:39:07,300
I can vouch for except that guy
that guy, You're Gonna Want to

3602
03:39:07,300 --> 03:39:11,800
the others.
I can totally vouch for So like

3603
03:39:11,800 --> 03:39:14,000
if we just click click on Drew
Brian here.

3604
03:39:14,800 --> 03:39:16,000
Right.
Yeah.

3605
03:39:17,100 --> 03:39:22,700
Let's click on that.
And for those not not watching

3606
03:39:22,700 --> 03:39:26,300
and just listening what you see
is a picture Drew here and it's

3607
03:39:26,300 --> 03:39:30,700
got a little short little bio
here on on what he who he is and

3608
03:39:30,700 --> 03:39:34,600
what he's done, it name some of
his more popular books and then

3609
03:39:34,600 --> 03:39:37,900
if you just keep scrolling down,
you're gonna see everyone of his

3610
03:39:37,900 --> 03:39:41,600
books up here.
That that is available and you

3611
03:39:41,600 --> 03:39:45,000
can just click on those and it's
going to take you right to the

3612
03:39:45,008 --> 03:39:47,700
link on where to buy him so you
don't have to search anymore,

3613
03:39:47,700 --> 03:39:52,500
you don't have to go.
You don't have to Google's name

3614
03:39:52,500 --> 03:39:54,900
then go to his Amazon page and
then filter through.

3615
03:39:54,900 --> 03:39:59,000
It's all right here.
You can just go there. 1830.

3616
03:39:59,000 --> 03:40:01,600
Mercantile, dot org, you can see
a picture of the book, a little

3617
03:40:01,608 --> 03:40:07,200
description. and, You're you're
able just to go ahead click buy

3618
03:40:07,200 --> 03:40:10,800
now and it's going to take you
right to their to your Amazon

3619
03:40:10,800 --> 03:40:13,300
cart and let you get what you
need to do there.

3620
03:40:14,100 --> 03:40:18,600
So that's that's pretty much it
but even that was it was kind of

3621
03:40:18,608 --> 03:40:20,800
a task, right?
Because you guys had to go round

3622
03:40:20,800 --> 03:40:23,000
up all of those bios and all
those other things.

3623
03:40:24,100 --> 03:40:25,800
Yep.
Yep, it's definitely quite a

3624
03:40:25,800 --> 03:40:29,400
project when it gets to the
element and she's trying to say

3625
03:40:29,400 --> 03:40:32,200
it, you know, in a way that's
very high professionalism where

3626
03:40:32,200 --> 03:40:35,200
it really just tells the story.
Most folks that's not their

3627
03:40:35,200 --> 03:40:37,000
skill set.
So it's actually what time

3628
03:40:37,000 --> 03:40:40,000
thinking about ourselves.
Oh yeah that's even harder are

3629
03:40:40,000 --> 03:40:44,800
usually a little bit more
reserved or you know we we've

3630
03:40:44,800 --> 03:40:47,200
been told our whole life, you
know like oh you know you're not

3631
03:40:47,200 --> 03:40:49,000
supposed to brag, you're not
supposed to brag, you know.

3632
03:40:49,000 --> 03:40:51,200
So I think I think people have a
hard time.

3633
03:40:52,500 --> 03:40:55,200
Saying.
Hey, I'm good at this.

3634
03:40:55,200 --> 03:40:57,900
Yeah.
And right if we read this good

3635
03:40:57,900 --> 03:41:01,400
scriptures, you know we're we're
we all have talents and gifts

3636
03:41:01,400 --> 03:41:05,400
and we're supposed to use them
and if we don't use them then,

3637
03:41:06,700 --> 03:41:09,600
You know.
We're just not serving our

3638
03:41:09,600 --> 03:41:11,800
Heavenly Fathers as much as we
can.

3639
03:41:11,800 --> 03:41:15,500
And, you know, I look at these
books here, you know, by Drew, I

3640
03:41:15,500 --> 03:41:17,700
want to read all of them.
I want to read every single one

3641
03:41:17,700 --> 03:41:19,500
of, you know, Ogden crowds
books.

3642
03:41:19,500 --> 03:41:21,700
I've read, you know, several
from each of them.

3643
03:41:21,700 --> 03:41:25,500
Now at this point and I'm just
even more excited to read more

3644
03:41:25,500 --> 03:41:27,400
because it's really helping me
connect.

3645
03:41:27,400 --> 03:41:30,800
The dots like I was saying on,
you know, what's happened in

3646
03:41:30,800 --> 03:41:35,200
history church history and you
know the doctrines, the deeper

3647
03:41:35,200 --> 03:41:38,500
doctrines that are just
wonderful that bring us on our

3648
03:41:38,500 --> 03:41:40,800
relationship to our Heavenly
Father, even stronger that help

3649
03:41:40,800 --> 03:41:45,400
us in that direction.
You just Smith says, you know,

3650
03:41:45,400 --> 03:41:48,100
you only get saved as much as
you have the knowledge, you

3651
03:41:48,100 --> 03:41:51,600
know, the the inside, you know,
a man can only be as good as he

3652
03:41:51,600 --> 03:41:53,800
knows how to be really.
Is is a better, right?

3653
03:41:53,800 --> 03:41:57,500
Yeah.
Absolutely, you know, and to go

3654
03:41:57,508 --> 03:42:00,500
along with this this.
Like I said, this, this site

3655
03:42:00,500 --> 03:42:03,600
isn't its infancy, but there's
going to be other things added

3656
03:42:03,600 --> 03:42:05,700
to this, right?
And I want to go over a couple

3657
03:42:05,700 --> 03:42:10,800
of those.
So the free resources, Right

3658
03:42:10,800 --> 03:42:13,400
here.
We got to play Under free

3659
03:42:13,400 --> 03:42:15,000
resources.
There's listening and learn,

3660
03:42:15,000 --> 03:42:16,900
right?
So here you can.

3661
03:42:16,900 --> 03:42:19,000
Come on here and find my
podcast, right?

3662
03:42:19,000 --> 03:42:22,100
And you can just click there and
it's going to take you right to

3663
03:42:22,100 --> 03:42:25,400
where you need to be.
Um, right to the website, you're

3664
03:42:25,400 --> 03:42:27,100
able to go here, you're off and
running.

3665
03:42:28,000 --> 03:42:32,200
I've already thrown Jeff
Aldridge's YouTube channel up

3666
03:42:32,200 --> 03:42:33,400
there.
You guys have already got that

3667
03:42:33,400 --> 03:42:36,800
loaded up.
Alright and look I am, you know,

3668
03:42:36,800 --> 03:42:40,900
the the fundamentals class that
Taylor Smith teaches is on

3669
03:42:40,900 --> 03:42:42,700
there.
These are quick links, this is

3670
03:42:42,700 --> 03:42:44,800
someplace.
I want people to go and not have

3671
03:42:44,800 --> 03:42:48,900
to go search for every little
thing that's Mormon,

3672
03:42:48,900 --> 03:42:52,700
fundamentalist, or conservative,
conservative Mormon, or whatever

3673
03:42:52,700 --> 03:42:54,600
it is.
I just want it to be in one

3674
03:42:54,600 --> 03:42:58,000
place where people can go and
grab it and it looks like it's

3675
03:42:58,000 --> 03:43:04,700
it's doing what it's supposed to
the, the other One that will end

3676
03:43:04,700 --> 03:43:06,700
up putting up here is events,
right?

3677
03:43:08,600 --> 03:43:12,700
I'm not going to say a whole lot
about that right now, but yeah,

3678
03:43:12,700 --> 03:43:14,800
you guys should stay tuned.
That's all I'm gonna say.

3679
03:43:14,800 --> 03:43:19,800
Um, but there will be an events
page where events will be posted

3680
03:43:19,800 --> 03:43:23,100
there.
There's just there's there's a

3681
03:43:23,100 --> 03:43:28,000
lot here for for for someone to
come for, you know, browse

3682
03:43:28,000 --> 03:43:30,100
through.
You can do this from the privacy

3683
03:43:30,100 --> 03:43:32,900
of your own home, right?
There's there you know if you're

3684
03:43:32,900 --> 03:43:38,900
still in the look let's face it.
If you are an active Mormon LDS,

3685
03:43:38,900 --> 03:43:40,600
folks, let me, let me rephrase
that.

3686
03:43:40,600 --> 03:43:43,700
If you're active LDS, you may
not want to go ask around your

3687
03:43:43,700 --> 03:43:47,200
word where you can get the
latest copy of, you know, Drew

3688
03:43:47,200 --> 03:43:49,500
Barney's book.
You might get an eyebrow or two

3689
03:43:49,500 --> 03:43:52,600
raised when the bishop Googles
who drew Briny is?

3690
03:43:52,600 --> 03:43:56,200
So this is someplace where
again, it's really easy to do,

3691
03:43:56,200 --> 03:43:59,500
you just come you grab what you
need and you get on with your

3692
03:43:59,500 --> 03:44:03,500
life.
So um so that was the biggest

3693
03:44:03,500 --> 03:44:05,600
challenge for you.
Corey, will you guys was just

3694
03:44:05,600 --> 03:44:08,600
getting the The, the BIOS
together.

3695
03:44:09,500 --> 03:44:12,000
Yes, very much.
So that took the most time

3696
03:44:12,900 --> 03:44:14,000
Gotcha.
Gotcha.

3697
03:44:14,000 --> 03:44:17,800
So as this was coming together,
did you guys feel like it came

3698
03:44:17,800 --> 03:44:21,100
together?
Like did you did you feel like

3699
03:44:21,100 --> 03:44:22,600
the spirit helped you out at
all?

3700
03:44:22,600 --> 03:44:23,900
As you were putting this
together?

3701
03:44:23,900 --> 03:44:24,800
We're their thing.
Yeah.

3702
03:44:24,800 --> 03:44:26,500
Happy that you didn't see
before.

3703
03:44:26,500 --> 03:44:28,800
Like if you were just I don't
know.

3704
03:44:29,500 --> 03:44:33,400
Doing a project for I don't
know, Bill's bacon or whatever.

3705
03:44:36,100 --> 03:44:39,500
Yeah, I think the logo too.
You know, went through a couple

3706
03:44:39,500 --> 03:44:41,400
of revisions as well.
Yeah.

3707
03:44:41,400 --> 03:44:49,500
And I think it was really into
Grab onto Moroni as a symbol of

3708
03:44:49,500 --> 03:44:53,200
Mormons.
Yep.

3709
03:44:53,800 --> 03:44:55,000
Yep.
And yeah.

3710
03:44:55,000 --> 03:44:57,400
Good.
No, we use it.

3711
03:44:57,400 --> 03:45:01,800
Now since it's not the LDS
church is official logo.

3712
03:45:01,800 --> 03:45:04,200
So Right.
Oh well.

3713
03:45:05,000 --> 03:45:09,300
Why not?
No, I thought I thought the logo

3714
03:45:09,300 --> 03:45:10,500
turned out.
Great guys.

3715
03:45:10,500 --> 03:45:13,700
I really do.
Well, my thoughts are, you know?

3716
03:45:15,400 --> 03:45:19,800
it's always been a Teaching in a
principal and a belief of the

3717
03:45:19,800 --> 03:45:23,100
LDS church you know, to create
Zion at some point and it's like

3718
03:45:23,100 --> 03:45:27,200
well that hasn't been the big
priority for the church.

3719
03:45:27,200 --> 03:45:29,600
Some people online are
criticizing.

3720
03:45:29,600 --> 03:45:31,300
Oh the church has 300 billion
dollars.

3721
03:45:31,300 --> 03:45:33,000
When are they going to do
anything about that?

3722
03:45:33,000 --> 03:45:36,200
And I'm like, well you know the
church has their own priorities.

3723
03:45:36,200 --> 03:45:38,800
I don't know where all of their
funds are going.

3724
03:45:38,800 --> 03:45:42,600
Somebody broke it down to what
they have. 16,000 dollars for

3725
03:45:42,600 --> 03:45:46,200
every member and yes that could
last a long time.

3726
03:45:46,200 --> 03:45:51,000
And and from my standpoint
exactly.

3727
03:45:51,000 --> 03:45:55,300
I was gonna say 16,000 probably
wouldn't not last too long for

3728
03:45:55,300 --> 03:45:57,700
most of us and what would that
build?

3729
03:45:57,700 --> 03:46:00,900
You know, if you were building a
full City with 16,000 dollars,

3730
03:46:00,900 --> 03:46:06,700
go how far to do doing that and
you know, a lot of good points.

3731
03:46:06,700 --> 03:46:09,900
Um people kind of arguing the
whole point of what to do with

3732
03:46:09,900 --> 03:46:15,800
Zion and from my standpoint.
I'm like well as members of the

3733
03:46:15,800 --> 03:46:19,300
LDS church and unbelievers and I
just kind of want to put it more

3734
03:46:19,300 --> 03:46:23,800
towards Believers in the
restoration, we we see things

3735
03:46:23,800 --> 03:46:27,000
almost completely the same.
You know, almost all of our

3736
03:46:27,000 --> 03:46:30,800
beliefs are the same.
And there were just arguing

3737
03:46:30,800 --> 03:46:33,400
about a few other little points
of Doctrine.

3738
03:46:33,400 --> 03:46:36,700
And, and that's unfortunate.
If we can't get together and

3739
03:46:36,700 --> 03:46:40,100
help each other on all of the
other areas that we do, believe

3740
03:46:40,100 --> 03:46:43,200
in, we believe in Joseph Smith,
we believe in Brigham, Young's

3741
03:46:43,200 --> 03:46:48,200
teachings, my thought is, you
know, just kind of creating, you

3742
03:46:48,200 --> 03:46:51,100
know, a little place of of unity
where people can get together

3743
03:46:51,100 --> 03:46:55,100
and help each other Prosper kind
of like Zion you know, where

3744
03:46:55,100 --> 03:46:57,100
there is no poor Among Us where
we're helping each other

3745
03:46:57,100 --> 03:47:02,900
financially and with other
people's talents, you know what

3746
03:47:02,900 --> 03:47:08,100
they're good at.
The things that kind of came to

3747
03:47:08,100 --> 03:47:13,000
mind as I was working on.
This was how we are very divided

3748
03:47:13,000 --> 03:47:17,000
and listening to the podcast
arguments, were some of the, the

3749
03:47:17,000 --> 03:47:21,200
church even became persecuted
tutorial towards those who have

3750
03:47:21,200 --> 03:47:24,000
practiced poly, it's like, well,
this was part of the church

3751
03:47:24,000 --> 03:47:25,700
doctrine.
How could you ever be that

3752
03:47:25,700 --> 03:47:27,300
person?
That's, that's trying to go

3753
03:47:27,300 --> 03:47:31,100
after somebody that believes
what was just recently taught

3754
03:47:31,100 --> 03:47:34,800
that makes no sense to me, seems
the opposite of being a

3755
03:47:34,800 --> 03:47:39,100
Christian to do that.
Especially in line of the fact

3756
03:47:39,100 --> 03:47:43,700
that What Makes You A god.
What makes you like your

3757
03:47:43,700 --> 03:47:45,800
heavenly parents if it's not
having lots of children.

3758
03:47:45,800 --> 03:47:50,100
So that should be kind of like a
sacred belief and tenant at the

3759
03:47:50,100 --> 03:47:54,300
top of of the belief system.
For anyone who believes in the

3760
03:47:54,308 --> 03:48:00,000
restoration is, Being parents
and marriage and family and that

3761
03:48:00,000 --> 03:48:02,900
kind of a thing that should be
at the top of our church

3762
03:48:02,900 --> 03:48:05,600
structure and unbelief.
And anyone who wants more of

3763
03:48:05,600 --> 03:48:09,400
that, you might not want to be
the one, casting, the stone in

3764
03:48:09,400 --> 03:48:12,300
that department.
If there's one thing to

3765
03:48:12,300 --> 03:48:14,100
overlook, I would think that
would be it.

3766
03:48:15,100 --> 03:48:18,200
Sure.
So that kind of a Unity if you

3767
03:48:18,200 --> 03:48:22,600
will.
And, you know, we've kind of

3768
03:48:22,600 --> 03:48:25,300
shared in our bio, a few of my
thoughts on the topic, you know,

3769
03:48:25,308 --> 03:48:29,000
did in our savior say that those
who are with us, Believers in

3770
03:48:29,000 --> 03:48:31,100
the restoration are not against
us.

3771
03:48:32,000 --> 03:48:36,400
That's Matthew 12:30, and we're
two are or, or more or

3772
03:48:36,400 --> 03:48:37,700
gathering.
In my name, I will be in the

3773
03:48:37,700 --> 03:48:42,700
midst of them, Matthew 18:20,
you know, and kind of like, you

3774
03:48:42,700 --> 03:48:45,500
know, share this thought here as
active, Les members,

3775
03:48:45,500 --> 03:48:48,200
fundamentalist, and other
believers in the restoration, we

3776
03:48:48,200 --> 03:48:50,500
can accomplish a thousand times
more if we work together.

3777
03:48:51,500 --> 03:48:52,700
To make this world a better
place.

3778
03:48:52,700 --> 03:48:55,900
And that's why we're supporting
this is because, you know, we

3779
03:48:55,900 --> 03:48:58,500
don't have to have all of the
same beliefs as a group.

3780
03:48:58,500 --> 03:49:02,000
But We believe in almost all the
same things.

3781
03:49:02,000 --> 03:49:06,900
Why don't we support each other
where we can and do our best to

3782
03:49:06,900 --> 03:49:11,200
build Zion up?
In a world of people who are so

3783
03:49:11,200 --> 03:49:13,900
critical of almost all of our
beliefs, you know, where where

3784
03:49:13,900 --> 03:49:16,500
the odd ducks in the world.
If we can't stick together on

3785
03:49:16,500 --> 03:49:21,700
this, in some small little
website, kind of way, we're

3786
03:49:21,700 --> 03:49:24,300
really missing some
opportunities now.

3787
03:49:24,300 --> 03:49:28,400
Look, the world is going to be
against, probably all of us at

3788
03:49:28,400 --> 03:49:32,000
some point, you know?
And I'm pretty sure The LDS

3789
03:49:32,000 --> 03:49:34,400
church itself gets a lot of
pressure.

3790
03:49:37,500 --> 03:49:40,500
Or even.
Where they stand.

3791
03:49:40,500 --> 03:49:43,500
There's a lot of pressure.
Yeah, totally, you know, like

3792
03:49:43,500 --> 03:49:46,700
you said it's, it's like we've
got to learn how to work

3793
03:49:46,700 --> 03:49:49,600
together to prepare for the
future, whatever it brings.

3794
03:49:49,600 --> 03:49:55,800
And I think we need to share our
gifts and you know, we've got

3795
03:49:55,800 --> 03:50:00,900
some big plans are for some
things coming up, too, so You

3796
03:50:00,900 --> 03:50:03,800
know, yeah.
We're in the middle of lots of

3797
03:50:03,800 --> 03:50:06,000
good things.
So, you know, how many fathers

3798
03:50:06,000 --> 03:50:08,600
kept me here on this planet
longer so that I can make a

3799
03:50:08,600 --> 03:50:11,300
difference in the world and just
one of those ways I want to do

3800
03:50:11,300 --> 03:50:13,500
it, you know.
So absolutely.

3801
03:50:14,400 --> 03:50:18,300
Teaching the gospel, um, helping
to promote Health Products,

3802
03:50:18,300 --> 03:50:22,100
teaching people some marketing
skills, teaching them how to

3803
03:50:22,108 --> 03:50:26,800
have help their children.
Give them better brains and I've

3804
03:50:26,800 --> 03:50:28,100
got to give you a shout out
Dave.

3805
03:50:28,100 --> 03:50:32,500
So when Corey said you're just
asking like for your four

3806
03:50:32,500 --> 03:50:35,900
percent, I was like, what?
Because I was acting like what?

3807
03:50:35,900 --> 03:50:40,600
I I just was like shocked, what?
No, no what do you say?

3808
03:50:40,600 --> 03:50:42,200
I I didn't hear what you said,
Johnny.

3809
03:50:42,200 --> 03:50:46,700
What do you say when When Corey
told me that you're just asking

3810
03:50:46,700 --> 03:50:50,900
like three or four percent for
your commission, for on the

3811
03:50:50,908 --> 03:50:55,700
sales of each book?
I was pretty shocked because the

3812
03:50:55,700 --> 03:50:59,400
standard in marketing is
actually more like 25%.

3813
03:50:59,400 --> 03:51:02,600
So you know to give him more of
a frame of reference.

3814
03:51:02,600 --> 03:51:05,300
It's like, well, that is very
low.

3815
03:51:07,200 --> 03:51:09,500
So I just wanted to keep the
lights on, on the website.

3816
03:51:09,500 --> 03:51:12,600
That's all I wanted to do.
I don't want anybody anybody's

3817
03:51:12,600 --> 03:51:16,800
money.
I just want to want to want to

3818
03:51:16,808 --> 03:51:20,800
keep the lights on on this thing
so that the the community at

3819
03:51:20,800 --> 03:51:24,800
large right fundamentalist
conservative LDS, they can just

3820
03:51:24,800 --> 03:51:28,700
go and get what they need
without Without having to jump

3821
03:51:28,708 --> 03:51:31,300
through those hurdles.
See other thing that I, that I

3822
03:51:31,300 --> 03:51:36,800
had heard and actually talked to
a guy, who's, who's the main

3823
03:51:36,800 --> 03:51:40,100
streamer, who wanted to publish
a book through Deseret Book,

3824
03:51:40,108 --> 03:51:45,300
that is a Herculean task.
To get your book into desert

3825
03:51:45,300 --> 03:51:48,900
book and half the time by the
time it gets there from why I

3826
03:51:48,900 --> 03:51:51,000
understand.
It doesn't really resemble what

3827
03:51:51,000 --> 03:51:55,000
you first put out right.
Because and look I want to say I

3828
03:51:55,000 --> 03:51:59,900
get it right.
Desert book is a is an auxiliary

3829
03:51:59,900 --> 03:52:02,400
of the church, right?
So they're going to have curate

3830
03:52:02,400 --> 03:52:07,300
the message that goes out, I get
that but I don't think the

3831
03:52:07,300 --> 03:52:09,600
process should be as hard as
what it is, right?

3832
03:52:09,600 --> 03:52:13,600
And so anybody who I feel like,
you know, I I just wonder how

3833
03:52:13,600 --> 03:52:17,700
much are we missing out on
because someone can't just go

3834
03:52:17,700 --> 03:52:20,900
publish the book and a place
where Mormons are going to get

3835
03:52:20,900 --> 03:52:25,000
their eyes on it, right?
And so, you know, this is the

3836
03:52:25,000 --> 03:52:27,800
call going out, right?
If you have, if you have a book

3837
03:52:27,800 --> 03:52:30,700
that you have struggled to get
published, Talk to us.

3838
03:52:30,700 --> 03:52:33,300
I'll get I'll get it up.
I'll put it up there.

3839
03:52:33,300 --> 03:52:39,400
Um, Yeah, you make art, you take
pictures, let we'll put it up

3840
03:52:39,400 --> 03:52:43,000
there, you make music, and you
can't break into the big scene.

3841
03:52:43,000 --> 03:52:46,200
You can come here and we will
put it up here and, you know,

3842
03:52:46,200 --> 03:52:48,400
write down the clothing.
If someone wants to start making

3843
03:52:48,400 --> 03:52:50,100
clothing.
I'm dialed in.

3844
03:52:50,100 --> 03:52:55,000
I'm there for it.
So um, I really don't want

3845
03:52:55,000 --> 03:52:57,000
anyone's money.
I just want to keep the lights

3846
03:52:57,000 --> 03:53:01,400
on on the website, if it's a
value to people, if not, if in a

3847
03:53:01,400 --> 03:53:03,600
year we've gotten absolutely
nothing.

3848
03:53:03,600 --> 03:53:11,100
Then we're shutting it down but
this is this, this isn't for me

3849
03:53:11,100 --> 03:53:16,000
to make any money off of really
I you as Joanie said, It's a

3850
03:53:16,000 --> 03:53:21,500
fairly small number right on on
a, on a four forty dollar book

3851
03:53:21,500 --> 03:53:24,400
order.
I'm gonna make right around what

3852
03:53:24,400 --> 03:53:29,200
two or three bucks?
I mean, like it is what it is.

3853
03:53:29,200 --> 03:53:31,600
It's just enough.
So I can get you guys paid a

3854
03:53:31,600 --> 03:53:34,300
little bit get and keep the
subscription going.

3855
03:53:34,300 --> 03:53:40,900
So that's that's about it.
But um, is there anything I

3856
03:53:40,900 --> 03:53:43,000
missed on the website that you
guys wanted to go over?

3857
03:53:45,800 --> 03:53:49,300
Well I just think it's kind of
just a quick little intro on our

3858
03:53:49,300 --> 03:53:53,000
on our side we can kind of go to
our page like meet the creators

3859
03:53:53,000 --> 03:53:54,900
behind the website.
We kind of share a little bit

3860
03:53:54,900 --> 03:53:58,200
about ourselves and kind of the
plans that we have moving

3861
03:53:58,200 --> 03:54:01,400
forward and that can be kind of
a little introduction to what it

3862
03:54:01,400 --> 03:54:04,100
is that we're doing.
So go to your bio here.

3863
03:54:04,100 --> 03:54:08,500
Yeah.
And just Okay, we've got a few

3864
03:54:08,508 --> 03:54:10,700
things going on.
So if anything resonates with

3865
03:54:10,700 --> 03:54:12,800
anyone, you know, it's more of
that.

3866
03:54:12,800 --> 03:54:15,500
And I told Corey, I'm like, I
feel like we're using up to a

3867
03:54:15,500 --> 03:54:18,500
thrill estate, but, of course
not shy.

3868
03:54:18,500 --> 03:54:22,300
He's gonna tell you everything.
He's up to and, and, you know,

3869
03:54:22,300 --> 03:54:25,900
so right here, wanna have Joni
have a little highlight on her

3870
03:54:25,900 --> 03:54:28,700
book.
Okay, so I'm almost you wrote a

3871
03:54:28,700 --> 03:54:31,400
book, Johnny.
Um, we are almost finished with

3872
03:54:31,408 --> 03:54:33,400
the book.
I'm doing the last editing for

3873
03:54:33,400 --> 03:54:36,600
it and that's what we kind of
have ourselves up on the

3874
03:54:36,600 --> 03:54:40,300
website, here me to creators
where we're kind of sharing

3875
03:54:40,300 --> 03:54:44,900
about our book and kind of what
we do is marketers and I'm a

3876
03:54:44,908 --> 03:54:49,400
little bit kind of a little bit
of a bio about us and then also

3877
03:54:49,400 --> 03:54:52,400
a little bit of a call to, you
know, come help us out on.

3878
03:54:53,100 --> 03:54:56,700
Some of the projects we're
working on so he's years, you

3879
03:54:56,700 --> 03:54:59,200
know, I really did want to just
be a mom so it's right there.

3880
03:54:59,200 --> 03:55:01,600
The building better brains with
games, you got it right there.

3881
03:55:01,608 --> 03:55:06,700
So um, you know, so I I really
did want to just have a gaggle

3882
03:55:06,700 --> 03:55:10,500
children and homeschool and that
was one life handed to me.

3883
03:55:10,500 --> 03:55:14,600
So, you know, after we had a
miscarriage, it's like well, you

3884
03:55:14,600 --> 03:55:17,500
know what?
I'm not gonna just like, sit in

3885
03:55:17,500 --> 03:55:20,700
my bedroom and cry about this.
I'm going to do something.

3886
03:55:20,700 --> 03:55:24,800
And so, I started writing down
some of the things I learned

3887
03:55:24,800 --> 03:55:29,200
teaching and other things.
And it's the main idea is not

3888
03:55:29,200 --> 03:55:32,500
children are so much smarter
than we realized and the brain

3889
03:55:32,500 --> 03:55:36,500
is a muscle.
And Too much.

3890
03:55:37,900 --> 03:55:43,600
Unschooling has led to this idea
that academics and play are kind

3891
03:55:43,600 --> 03:55:46,300
of compartmentalized as two
separate things.

3892
03:55:46,300 --> 03:55:50,900
And through teaching, I learned
how to teach young children

3893
03:55:50,900 --> 03:55:53,800
without attention spans, and
that's actually really easy.

3894
03:55:53,800 --> 03:55:57,400
Because, you know, there's that
quote from Aristotle that says,

3895
03:55:57,400 --> 03:56:01,300
you know, give me a child from 0
to 7 and I'll show you the man.

3896
03:56:01,300 --> 03:56:06,800
And I've heard that quote
possibly misrepresented as being

3897
03:56:06,800 --> 03:56:14,100
used by, like, it was either Mao
or the other one of the other

3898
03:56:14,100 --> 03:56:18,000
communist China you know China
communist saying that he had

3899
03:56:18,000 --> 03:56:23,000
children from 0 to 7 then he
would Be able to pretty much

3900
03:56:23,000 --> 03:56:25,300
destroy the family in a negative
way.

3901
03:56:25,300 --> 03:56:29,400
You know that if if we had
children from 0 to 7 and the

3902
03:56:29,400 --> 03:56:33,900
fascinating thing is what
Aristotle and the science didn't

3903
03:56:33,900 --> 03:56:36,500
know at the time is that from 0
to 7?

3904
03:56:36,500 --> 03:56:40,700
The brain is actually growing
really, really fast and so young

3905
03:56:40,700 --> 03:56:44,600
kids are able to pick up on
things really quickly, but

3906
03:56:44,600 --> 03:56:48,300
because they can't don't have
the dexterity to hold a pencil.

3907
03:56:48,300 --> 03:56:52,000
Don't have the attention span to
sit still, we think they can't

3908
03:56:52,000 --> 03:56:54,500
learn, but that's not true at
all.

3909
03:56:54,500 --> 03:56:58,900
They just learn at a faster pace
and they have shorter attention

3910
03:56:58,900 --> 03:57:03,100
spans and so I'm teaching games
that don't require for the

3911
03:57:03,100 --> 03:57:06,800
majority of them, their
memorization memorization math

3912
03:57:06,800 --> 03:57:11,700
and reading critical thinking
kind of games that you could do

3913
03:57:11,700 --> 03:57:15,700
that are more like Hands-On And
you could do it with a group of

3914
03:57:15,700 --> 03:57:18,900
kids of any ages, but even your,
you know, like you're three or

3915
03:57:18,900 --> 03:57:20,900
five year old.
Some of them are very age

3916
03:57:20,900 --> 03:57:23,800
appropriate that they could
catch on and it would prepare

3917
03:57:23,800 --> 03:57:27,800
them for you know, higher,
mathematical Concepts that

3918
03:57:27,800 --> 03:57:29,500
they're going to be introduced
to down the road.

3919
03:57:29,508 --> 03:57:33,900
So you know I was like well I
have All of these things that

3920
03:57:33,900 --> 03:57:36,700
I've learned and I picked up,
you know, like I've taken

3921
03:57:36,700 --> 03:57:40,600
parenting courses and stuff like
that in anticipation for the,

3922
03:57:40,600 --> 03:57:43,300
you know, mother that I never
got to be really.

3923
03:57:43,300 --> 03:57:46,300
And so I was like you know what,
I'm gonna put it in a box.

3924
03:57:46,308 --> 03:57:51,600
So this is been a two-year
ongoing project and Cory's been

3925
03:57:51,600 --> 03:57:54,700
editing it and so it's not quite
ready for almost there.

3926
03:57:54,700 --> 03:57:57,100
We're almost there.
So that's my project.

3927
03:57:57,100 --> 03:58:01,300
So hopefully it is helpful to
parents that like you said we'll

3928
03:58:01,300 --> 03:58:09,600
find out if it if it is.
She really fun inside and the

3929
03:58:09,600 --> 03:58:12,400
idea behind it is you know
create little Geniuses with your

3930
03:58:12,400 --> 03:58:14,900
children, you know what does it
take to create a genius?

3931
03:58:14,900 --> 03:58:18,000
Um, there are a lot of studies
out the, you know, are coming

3932
03:58:18,000 --> 03:58:25,000
out now that are showing So many
tips for parents on how to help

3933
03:58:25,000 --> 03:58:28,000
their child, learn at a
different level for me.

3934
03:58:28,000 --> 03:58:30,300
My dad always bought me, lots of
books.

3935
03:58:30,300 --> 03:58:34,300
So even four and five, he was
buying me all the books that I

3936
03:58:34,300 --> 03:58:36,300
wanted to read that helped so
much.

3937
03:58:36,300 --> 03:58:38,600
You know, by the time I was six,
I was reading college level

3938
03:58:38,600 --> 03:58:41,900
books, and loving it.
And and I just see so many

3939
03:58:41,900 --> 03:58:45,900
children now who were six or
seven or eight, who don't love

3940
03:58:45,900 --> 03:58:49,400
reading and that just breaks my
heart because there's so much

3941
03:58:49,408 --> 03:58:51,900
you can learn you know you could
just get a book on almost

3942
03:58:51,900 --> 03:58:53,400
anything and it's just
thrilling.

3943
03:58:53,400 --> 03:58:57,000
You can learn about almost any
subject and get to know all

3944
03:58:57,000 --> 03:59:00,600
kinds of brilliant people's
minds by having a book that you

3945
03:59:00,608 --> 03:59:02,200
can read about them.
Anyway.

3946
03:59:03,200 --> 03:59:06,500
Um you know you you bring up
something that's kind of

3947
03:59:06,500 --> 03:59:09,300
important here, right?
I just read it.

3948
03:59:09,300 --> 03:59:13,400
Disturbing fact.
Oh I want to say it was two or

3949
03:59:13,408 --> 03:59:19,400
three months ago where like most
high schoolers now can't read in

3950
03:59:19,400 --> 03:59:22,600
the third person.
And comprehending, right?

3951
03:59:22,600 --> 03:59:27,000
And that's a problem, especially
when you consider the scriptures

3952
03:59:27,000 --> 03:59:32,700
are largely written from a third
person point of view and that

3953
03:59:32,700 --> 03:59:34,900
will that's that's an issue,
right?

3954
03:59:34,900 --> 03:59:40,000
So this idea of of learning a
little bit better, I think is a

3955
03:59:40,000 --> 03:59:42,300
good thing and look full
disclosure.

3956
03:59:45,600 --> 03:59:52,700
I, I look at education and it is
one of the few places that is

3957
03:59:52,700 --> 03:59:57,200
really lacking, right?
We are doing it, largely the

3958
03:59:57,200 --> 04:00:00,000
same way we did it in the 1800s,
right?

3959
04:00:00,900 --> 04:00:03,400
Despite all the technological
advances.

3960
04:00:03,400 --> 04:00:08,100
It's the one profession that has
stayed really kind of static in

3961
04:00:08,100 --> 04:00:11,700
its model.
And I think that needs to to be

3962
04:00:11,700 --> 04:00:15,100
challenged a little bit because
I'm not sure that that is

3963
04:00:15,100 --> 04:00:18,000
necessarily the healthiest thing
for us to be doing for our kids,

3964
04:00:18,000 --> 04:00:23,500
it would be like It'd be like
trying to use a horse and buggy

3965
04:00:23,500 --> 04:00:27,200
today to get around, right?
You could do it but it's not

3966
04:00:27,200 --> 04:00:28,900
great.
Why would you late?

3967
04:00:28,900 --> 04:00:32,700
Why would you write?
I mean, there's some stuff there

3968
04:00:32,700 --> 04:00:36,600
to consider, right?
You want to share the cocoa

3969
04:00:36,600 --> 04:00:38,600
power projects?
Um yeah let's do that.

3970
04:00:38,600 --> 04:00:42,300
I share someone of my testimony
here a little bit more too and

3971
04:00:42,300 --> 04:00:44,800
just some of the things just
little facts about me you know?

3972
04:00:44,808 --> 04:00:49,300
And then how you know I helped
Pro bar become this

3973
04:00:49,300 --> 04:00:51,100
multi-million dollar success
story.

3974
04:00:52,000 --> 04:00:55,100
And then kind of about this
year's project is cocoa.

3975
04:00:55,100 --> 04:01:00,200
Power for athletes that it's
even better than what was done

3976
04:01:00,200 --> 04:01:02,600
with Pro bar because it's
organic Ron, sprouted.

3977
04:01:02,600 --> 04:01:06,500
And these are some of the things
that were kind of asking for

3978
04:01:06,500 --> 04:01:10,300
assistance with from others in
the community because really I

3979
04:01:10,300 --> 04:01:14,000
just want to It.
I want everyone to be healthy.

3980
04:01:14,000 --> 04:01:16,600
I just hate seeing people
struggle with the kind of health

3981
04:01:16,600 --> 04:01:19,400
challenges that they are.
I know there's answers for

3982
04:01:19,400 --> 04:01:22,900
almost everyone.
I mean, you in the DNC, you

3983
04:01:22,900 --> 04:01:26,600
know, it says that those who
aren't appointed unto death and

3984
04:01:26,600 --> 04:01:31,400
they have the face to be healed,
can be healed and part of what

3985
04:01:31,400 --> 04:01:33,800
Joseph Smith says.
It's just so profound with our

3986
04:01:33,800 --> 04:01:38,200
our religion is Joseph Smith
says, you know, if whenever you

3987
04:01:38,200 --> 04:01:41,500
have the spirit anyone who has
the spirit has the spirit all so

3988
04:01:41,500 --> 04:01:46,100
of Prophecy and Revelation.
So the spirit comes to guide

3989
04:01:46,100 --> 04:01:50,300
each of us in our choices and
what we eat and what we do

3990
04:01:50,300 --> 04:01:54,500
during our day and how we
interact with others.

3991
04:01:54,500 --> 04:01:59,100
If we are feeling the spirit in
our life, we'll be guided.

3992
04:01:59,800 --> 04:02:06,500
So I felt the last little while.
I've had this frustration in my

3993
04:02:06,500 --> 04:02:11,800
heart about what happened with
probar, the I am not that I

3994
04:02:11,800 --> 04:02:15,700
didn't get to get these new
products out with probar.

3995
04:02:16,400 --> 04:02:19,900
And I've just felt okay well
it's been quite a few years.

3996
04:02:19,900 --> 04:02:23,700
Now Pro bar has well over 100
employees working for them.

3997
04:02:23,700 --> 04:02:25,600
Multi-million dollars have come
in.

3998
04:02:25,600 --> 04:02:29,100
It was my idea that I helped to
get off the ground and it's just

3999
04:02:29,100 --> 04:02:31,800
a fantastic product.
Best taste and nutrition of any

4000
04:02:31,800 --> 04:02:33,600
of the bars that have been done
at that point.

4001
04:02:33,600 --> 04:02:37,600
And now there are dozens of
products that are very good,

4002
04:02:37,600 --> 04:02:43,300
that just were not available
back then. and, The last little

4003
04:02:43,300 --> 04:02:49,400
while I've just seen.
There are still so much room for

4004
04:02:49,400 --> 04:02:51,200
better products that are out
there.

4005
04:02:51,200 --> 04:02:55,900
And I've been kind of stunned by
this new Cold Ground, cold stone

4006
04:02:55,900 --> 04:02:59,000
ground.
Almond butter, that we have got

4007
04:02:59,000 --> 04:03:01,500
from a friend here, he created a
system.

4008
04:03:01,500 --> 04:03:06,200
He actually put the signs.
He designed the, the Grinders

4009
04:03:06,200 --> 04:03:10,900
himself so that they wouldn't
heat up the almonds, which all

4010
04:03:10,900 --> 04:03:13,700
of the almonds I've ever gotten
in the health food store in the

4011
04:03:13,700 --> 04:03:18,800
stores have have been fairly
rancid and the metal grinding

4012
04:03:18,800 --> 04:03:23,100
process heats up the oils so
much so that it goes bad

4013
04:03:23,100 --> 04:03:25,100
quickly.
And does not have all the

4014
04:03:25,100 --> 04:03:29,900
nutritional qualities that he is
has in his stone ground.

4015
04:03:31,200 --> 04:03:34,600
Oh, just almond butter, and it's
crazy.

4016
04:03:34,608 --> 04:03:37,500
It's so much tastier.
So to give you an example of the

4017
04:03:37,500 --> 04:03:41,500
quality, you know, the your
traditional nut Butters are are

4018
04:03:41,500 --> 04:03:45,600
produced in just like a couple
of hours, but because they're

4019
04:03:45,600 --> 04:03:47,700
grinding it really fast and
heating it up.

4020
04:03:47,700 --> 04:03:52,600
It's actually a cooked food and,
you know, store shelf life and

4021
04:03:52,600 --> 04:03:54,900
things like that.
Chances are most of your nut.

4022
04:03:54,900 --> 04:03:57,200
Butters are probably rancid by
the time, you even buy them.

4023
04:03:57,200 --> 04:04:02,800
But with what he's doing, he
spends like it's a four-day

4024
04:04:02,800 --> 04:04:06,500
grinding problem.
So it literally just is so slow.

4025
04:04:06,500 --> 04:04:12,000
It never gets heated and the
room, everything is cold, it's

4026
04:04:12,000 --> 04:04:15,400
it's chilled, so that it never
gets very hot in there, like

4027
04:04:15,400 --> 04:04:18,300
sprouted food and it is super
tasty.

4028
04:04:18,300 --> 04:04:22,000
I had no idea the difference.
And when I had this product from

4029
04:04:22,000 --> 04:04:25,500
him, I just was kind of
speechless.

4030
04:04:25,500 --> 04:04:28,300
I literally did not believe that
this was even possible, and I

4031
04:04:28,308 --> 04:04:31,400
just was like, kind of shaking
my head, like, wow, what are the

4032
04:04:31,400 --> 04:04:35,500
odds of me running into this guy
here in a small town here in in

4033
04:04:35,500 --> 04:04:39,400
Arizona?
And then he had no interest in

4034
04:04:39,400 --> 04:04:41,200
doing really promotionals with
this.

4035
04:04:41,200 --> 04:04:46,000
And I just ended up feeling the
spirit, just like you need to do

4036
04:04:46,000 --> 04:04:49,000
this Quarry, people need to eat
healthier food.

4037
04:04:49,000 --> 04:04:51,100
You need to eat healthier food,
you've been dealing with covid

4038
04:04:51,100 --> 04:04:55,100
all this time.
Find a way to make this work and

4039
04:04:55,100 --> 04:04:57,600
the other really fun element is
chocolate.

4040
04:04:57,600 --> 04:05:01,800
He is also done this with
chocolate and you can imagine if

4041
04:05:01,800 --> 04:05:04,600
the almond butter is amazing,
his chocolate.

4042
04:05:04,600 --> 04:05:08,900
Without it being heated up, is
on another level and who doesn't

4043
04:05:08,900 --> 04:05:11,900
like chocolate and chocolate has
so much magnesium in it.

4044
04:05:11,900 --> 04:05:14,700
That does 300 physical body
processes.

4045
04:05:14,700 --> 04:05:18,000
The absorption absorption would
have to be much higher with

4046
04:05:18,000 --> 04:05:20,200
this.
I haven't tested it enough, you

4047
04:05:20,200 --> 04:05:23,000
know, on long bike rides because
I'm just not super capable.

4048
04:05:23,000 --> 04:05:26,300
I've only been up to about an
hour a day on my bike at this

4049
04:05:26,300 --> 04:05:31,000
point but I always was testing
different products while I was

4050
04:05:31,008 --> 04:05:33,600
doing a lot of these long
distance training and and

4051
04:05:33,600 --> 04:05:36,200
cycling and I can tell you some
of the stuff that we've been

4052
04:05:36,208 --> 04:05:40,800
coming up with for for our new
products with cocoa power at 10.

4053
04:05:40,800 --> 04:05:43,100
Like I've never seen anything
that's good.

4054
04:05:43,100 --> 04:05:46,600
I have had Joni testing it as
well.

4055
04:05:48,900 --> 04:05:53,700
Big change, better, energy
longer lasting energy, very good

4056
04:05:53,700 --> 04:05:56,000
absorption.
Very digestible.

4057
04:05:56,900 --> 04:06:00,600
On The Taste is a 10 like
everyone that we've given it to

4058
04:06:00,600 --> 04:06:03,400
is like yeah this is great.
And Kelly.

4059
04:06:03,400 --> 04:06:07,600
Who tried this?
Absolutely impressed with with

4060
04:06:07,600 --> 04:06:11,400
it says, I've had people hand me
several hundred different

4061
04:06:11,400 --> 04:06:14,700
samples of new products to look
at over the decade.

4062
04:06:14,700 --> 04:06:18,000
They said and he just said this
is Awesome.

4063
04:06:18,000 --> 04:06:20,800
What you have?
This is a big winner and I

4064
04:06:20,800 --> 04:06:22,900
agree.
I know the spirits kind of been

4065
04:06:22,900 --> 04:06:25,800
guiding and directing this whole
thing and and this is you know

4066
04:06:25,808 --> 04:06:29,100
multi-million dollar project for
so many people who are still in

4067
04:06:29,100 --> 04:06:33,300
the lots of State.
Yeah, we're I'm just getting

4068
04:06:33,300 --> 04:06:36,500
things together as far as what
it's going to take to put all

4069
04:06:36,500 --> 04:06:41,500
this together.
All there's a small list on the

4070
04:06:41,500 --> 04:06:43,800
website there.
If you're excited about that,

4071
04:06:43,800 --> 04:06:46,800
better goal would be to have the
manufacturing site in Missouri

4072
04:06:46,800 --> 04:06:48,900
in Missouri.
Yeah, we want it there with the

4073
04:06:48,900 --> 04:06:52,900
community of other believers and
folks were land is fairly

4074
04:06:52,900 --> 04:06:56,900
inexpensive and there's lots of
rain you know, here in Arizona

4075
04:06:56,900 --> 04:07:00,300
it's just like there's so many
challenges with water here.

4076
04:07:00,300 --> 04:07:03,500
Not if we're gonna have, we're
gonna start growing our own food

4077
04:07:03,500 --> 04:07:06,700
and have this manufacturing
site, then Missouri really is.

4078
04:07:07,600 --> 04:07:10,800
Really is a Haven.
So it's not about.

4079
04:07:10,800 --> 04:07:13,000
If you can grow something in
Missouri, it's about.

4080
04:07:13,000 --> 04:07:17,100
If you can keep the weeds and
the Barnes is what I've

4081
04:07:17,100 --> 04:07:18,700
discovered.
He'll grow.

4082
04:07:18,700 --> 04:07:22,800
Like, that's not the problem.
The problem is is getting a

4083
04:07:22,800 --> 04:07:27,700
harvest because we'd either come
up and it's like, look, I'm used

4084
04:07:27,700 --> 04:07:31,800
to having a garden, right?
Um, And I thought, I knew what

4085
04:07:31,800 --> 04:07:34,500
weeding was and then I came to
Missouri and I'm like, oh no,

4086
04:07:34,500 --> 04:07:38,700
this is a life and death,
struggle against the weeds, for

4087
04:07:38,700 --> 04:07:42,200
the rest of my life.
But know that is one of the

4088
04:07:42,200 --> 04:07:44,300
benefits water is plentiful and
so is.

4089
04:07:44,300 --> 04:07:48,700
So is the ability to grow?
Look, that's a huge thing,

4090
04:07:48,700 --> 04:07:51,500
right?
Um, so often in the Doctrine and

4091
04:07:51,500 --> 04:07:54,600
Covenants, we focus a lot on the
prohibitions and we should take

4092
04:07:54,600 --> 04:07:59,600
note of that, right?
But I'm more I'm more interested

4093
04:07:59,600 --> 04:08:03,300
in the In what it prescribes
right?

4094
04:08:03,300 --> 04:08:09,100
Which is Whole Foods, right?
That what I'm really there and

4095
04:08:09,100 --> 04:08:12,000
I'm a guy who look.
I I made that change.

4096
04:08:12,800 --> 04:08:16,100
I'll say about it about a year
and a half ago is when I really

4097
04:08:16,100 --> 04:08:19,600
well, maybe closer to years ago
where I really made the changes

4098
04:08:19,600 --> 04:08:23,000
start eating Whole Foods, right?
And and what that is, is that's

4099
04:08:23,000 --> 04:08:25,100
food.
That's just not processed to

4100
04:08:25,100 --> 04:08:29,300
death, right?
Um, You know, they called the

4101
04:08:29,300 --> 04:08:33,300
gut the second brain, right?
Because so much of your immune

4102
04:08:33,300 --> 04:08:35,900
system comes out of your gut, so
much everything.

4103
04:08:36,900 --> 04:08:41,800
Tends to come out of your gut.
And I think our food supply is

4104
04:08:41,800 --> 04:08:44,600
severely tainted and if that's
the case, we're going to have a

4105
04:08:44,600 --> 04:08:48,100
hard time.
Doing the things we need to do,

4106
04:08:48,100 --> 04:08:51,500
if we're, if we're nutrient
deficient and quite frankly, I

4107
04:08:51,500 --> 04:08:54,300
think the amount of Carson
Carson engines that are in

4108
04:08:54,300 --> 04:08:56,600
there.
Now, that sort of thing is just

4109
04:08:56,600 --> 04:09:00,100
devastating.
And when when I went to a Whole

4110
04:09:00,100 --> 04:09:05,000
Foods diet, It was it was a
change like the thing I did not

4111
04:09:05,000 --> 04:09:09,000
anticipate was how badly I
craved the junk until it was

4112
04:09:09,000 --> 04:09:12,300
gone, right?
It was almost like a detox kind

4113
04:09:12,300 --> 04:09:14,000
of a thing.
I haven't been able to prove it

4114
04:09:14,000 --> 04:09:18,300
yet but I don't think that
they're putting in addictive

4115
04:09:18,300 --> 04:09:21,800
substances necessarily but I do
think that those substances they

4116
04:09:21,800 --> 04:09:25,000
are putting in their Let me
raise this.

4117
04:09:25,000 --> 04:09:27,900
I don't think they're knowingly,
putting addictive, material in

4118
04:09:27,900 --> 04:09:30,700
there, but they are, they they
are never mind.

4119
04:09:30,708 --> 04:09:32,300
I stand corrected, I'm done.
Okay.

4120
04:09:32,300 --> 04:09:37,000
Um, oh, I can get on that topic
with you another time because

4121
04:09:37,000 --> 04:09:40,900
that's actually yeah, my friend
that I did Pro bar with, he was

4122
04:09:40,900 --> 04:09:45,000
a, you know, an activist for
Healthy nutrition and kind of

4123
04:09:45,000 --> 04:09:48,900
the entire industry for food
labeling laws was done by my, my

4124
04:09:48,900 --> 04:09:51,600
friend and his aunt.
Okay?

4125
04:09:51,600 --> 04:09:55,300
So there were some things that
I've kind of been shared that

4126
04:09:55,300 --> 04:09:57,800
have been shared with me that a
lot of people don't know, and

4127
04:09:57,800 --> 04:10:01,300
it's, it's a fascinating topic
of what goes on in the food

4128
04:10:01,300 --> 04:10:04,900
industry that I can kind of go
on a length for hours on.

4129
04:10:04,900 --> 04:10:07,400
And so, that's just a whole
other topic, we can go into, but

4130
04:10:07,400 --> 04:10:12,200
from a health standpoint.
Yeah, there's a lot of things we

4131
04:10:12,200 --> 04:10:16,500
need to be much more aware of
and I don't eat, you know, 95%

4132
04:10:16,500 --> 04:10:19,400
of what they sell in the store,
because I don't want that in my

4133
04:10:19,408 --> 04:10:22,200
body.
It didn't help me in my teens as

4134
04:10:22,200 --> 04:10:25,000
an athlete.
Well, before covid, I could feel

4135
04:10:25,000 --> 04:10:28,100
the difference, you know, I
actually used to chart, I used

4136
04:10:28,100 --> 04:10:31,400
to chart, you know, my exercise
and my training routine and how

4137
04:10:31,400 --> 04:10:35,400
much I would lift each day.
And then all I monitor kind of

4138
04:10:35,408 --> 04:10:37,700
what I would eat.
And I went to bed at night so

4139
04:10:37,700 --> 04:10:41,700
like from A discipline stamp
Point.

4140
04:10:41,700 --> 04:10:44,300
Those are some of the things
that I just have on lock, you

4141
04:10:44,300 --> 04:10:47,800
know, I as a competitive
gymnast, you know, where I was

4142
04:10:47,800 --> 04:10:52,500
training, you know, five hours a
day at the gym for six days a

4143
04:10:52,500 --> 04:10:55,700
week for, you know, years and
literally Decades of half of

4144
04:10:55,700 --> 04:11:01,600
that time. like, If my mom
always said, hey core, you can

4145
04:11:01,600 --> 04:11:04,000
do anything you want in life.
If you put this kind of

4146
04:11:04,000 --> 04:11:06,900
determination into it that you
have it, the gym and I was like,

4147
04:11:06,900 --> 04:11:10,900
you know, you're right.
I think anyone can have the

4148
04:11:10,900 --> 04:11:13,000
greatest relationship with their
father and have them if they

4149
04:11:13,000 --> 04:11:17,700
just Want it that bad if you
just decide right now.

4150
04:11:17,700 --> 04:11:20,600
Dang it my, Nothing Else
Matters.

4151
04:11:20,600 --> 04:11:23,400
And I want to have a great
conversation with my heavenly

4152
04:11:23,400 --> 04:11:25,300
father.
And I have this question, I need

4153
04:11:25,300 --> 04:11:27,700
this answer to Heavenly
father's.

4154
04:11:27,700 --> 04:11:31,500
Absolutely gonna You know, open
the heavens and give you

4155
04:11:31,500 --> 04:11:35,900
Impressions and and just flowed
into your mind all kinds of

4156
04:11:35,908 --> 04:11:40,000
thoughts and love from him
because you know, if he loves me

4157
04:11:40,000 --> 04:11:43,700
the way that he did and how he
answered my prayers, I'm gonna

4158
04:11:43,700 --> 04:11:45,100
kind of shared with, you know,
the other day.

4159
04:11:46,200 --> 04:11:49,900
Oh, I know he loves you.
I was a brat teenager and he

4160
04:11:49,900 --> 04:11:54,000
came to visit me the way he did.
Change my heart and my life and,

4161
04:11:54,000 --> 04:11:57,600
you know, they say, oh, you
know, look at someone's fruits,

4162
04:11:57,600 --> 04:11:59,800
if you know what, What they're
about.

4163
04:11:59,800 --> 04:12:01,000
What?
What are their fruits?

4164
04:12:01,000 --> 04:12:04,100
Did it change their soul?
Their heart?

4165
04:12:04,100 --> 04:12:07,900
Do they love other people more?
Um, whatever happened with covid

4166
04:12:07,900 --> 04:12:08,800
for me?
I don't know.

4167
04:12:08,800 --> 04:12:11,500
I feel like it definitely reset
me and gave me.

4168
04:12:14,600 --> 04:12:21,100
I would say a stronger desire.
I'm a greater appreciation for

4169
04:12:21,100 --> 04:12:24,100
each day that I'm in this earth.
It's like, wow, I survived

4170
04:12:24,100 --> 04:12:27,300
something that just is kind of
Beyond Comprehension, really

4171
04:12:27,300 --> 04:12:31,400
mentally, just kind of review
the tapes in my mind as far as

4172
04:12:31,400 --> 04:12:34,800
what happened and how that felt
just grateful for that.

4173
04:12:34,800 --> 04:12:37,100
I'm so grateful for my wife and
to be married, to someone who

4174
04:12:37,100 --> 04:12:40,200
loves me so much, that she would
pray hours and hours every day

4175
04:12:40,200 --> 04:12:43,500
for my welfare and they just it
touches my heart so much.

4176
04:12:43,500 --> 04:12:45,000
And just brings a lot of joy to
me.

4177
04:12:45,000 --> 04:12:47,300
And, you know, I read my
picture, go blessing and you

4178
04:12:47,300 --> 04:12:49,700
know, hey you're going to have
kids and all that and those

4179
04:12:49,700 --> 04:12:52,300
impressions of having little
Megan and Nathan in our life.

4180
04:12:52,300 --> 04:12:56,800
It's like I just gives me a lot
of joy and then to have a home

4181
04:12:56,800 --> 04:13:01,200
and, and to raise our children
in that people feel the love

4182
04:13:01,200 --> 04:13:04,300
just when they come in your home
I think that's what all of us

4183
04:13:04,308 --> 04:13:07,300
should strive for is to develop
that kind of character in our

4184
04:13:07,300 --> 04:13:11,600
life to have that.
And ever since I've had that

4185
04:13:11,600 --> 04:13:16,900
experience, he'll come on.
I've been driven to do more with

4186
04:13:16,900 --> 04:13:18,700
my life than I than I did
things.

4187
04:13:18,700 --> 04:13:21,400
I never would have imagined, you
know, I just sat there really

4188
04:13:21,400 --> 04:13:24,700
one day after having that he'll
come our experience and I just

4189
04:13:24,708 --> 04:13:26,900
thought, what are the hardest
things I could ever do in life?

4190
04:13:26,900 --> 04:13:30,100
What are the biggest challenges?
Because I wanted to have a

4191
04:13:30,100 --> 04:13:32,600
challenge.
I wanted to do something, really

4192
04:13:32,600 --> 04:13:35,400
extra hard and I thought Martial
arts.

4193
04:13:35,400 --> 04:13:38,600
That's pretty hard.
Plus it's pretty, you know, bad

4194
04:13:38,600 --> 04:13:42,400
Aid.
Somebody's really tough ballet.

4195
04:13:42,400 --> 04:13:45,400
That's really hard and
gymnastics and I started

4196
04:13:45,400 --> 04:13:52,500
training all of those three
things and the it kept me out of

4197
04:13:52,500 --> 04:13:54,600
trouble.
I didn't go back to my friends

4198
04:13:54,600 --> 04:13:58,300
who were troublemakers and we
like to drink and party and and

4199
04:13:58,300 --> 04:14:02,200
trash on the church and trash on
themselves, they weren't happy

4200
04:14:02,200 --> 04:14:04,300
with themselves.
You know, my best friend had

4201
04:14:04,300 --> 04:14:07,300
killed himself and a lot of my
other friends felt the same way.

4202
04:14:07,300 --> 04:14:11,400
Um, they they were not touched
in their hearts, but you see so

4203
04:14:11,400 --> 04:14:15,400
many people who are in the LDS
church, who go to church every

4204
04:14:15,400 --> 04:14:18,400
Sunday, they have a really had a
change of heart either.

4205
04:14:19,200 --> 04:14:21,800
And I'm sure there's plenty in
the fundamentalists

4206
04:14:21,800 --> 04:14:25,300
organizations that have grown up
around the gospel that probably

4207
04:14:25,300 --> 04:14:28,300
haven't had that Mighty change
of heart or they have and they

4208
04:14:28,300 --> 04:14:30,900
don't feel it today.
And so hopefully we can all

4209
04:14:30,900 --> 04:14:34,400
support each other and and
building that fire with them and

4210
04:14:34,408 --> 04:14:37,000
just that reminder and
hopefully, you know, my comments

4211
04:14:37,000 --> 04:14:40,400
on this and just my experience
will kind of like that fire and

4212
04:14:40,400 --> 04:14:44,100
in here heart and and all the
listeners in here that they will

4213
04:14:44,100 --> 04:14:46,600
have.
A little greater faith and

4214
04:14:46,608 --> 04:14:49,500
little more trust that.
Hey, you know what, you're right

4215
04:14:49,500 --> 04:14:54,000
that that Corey and Joni guy.
Yeah, you know, maybe I can have

4216
04:14:54,000 --> 04:14:58,800
that experience myself.
Maybe I can have more of those

4217
04:14:58,800 --> 04:15:01,200
answers that I'm needing and
craving right now in my life

4218
04:15:01,200 --> 04:15:02,900
because I'm having a tough
Challenge.

4219
04:15:02,900 --> 04:15:06,000
And oh, gosh, everyone, I know
has challenges at some point in

4220
04:15:06,000 --> 04:15:09,800
their life if it's not right now
and life is awesome.

4221
04:15:09,800 --> 04:15:14,500
I'm I'm glad I would be awesome
to hear that from anyone and

4222
04:15:14,500 --> 04:15:17,600
yet.
So many people are just in the

4223
04:15:17,600 --> 04:15:21,900
midst of tragedy or challenges
that they need to feel the

4224
04:15:21,900 --> 04:15:25,100
spirit so badly in their life
and so much more in their life

4225
04:15:25,100 --> 04:15:27,100
because of the hurt that they
have inside.

4226
04:15:27,100 --> 04:15:31,400
And And I'm hopeful that, you
know, this website can be

4227
04:15:31,400 --> 04:15:33,800
something that kind of inspires
us.

4228
04:15:33,800 --> 04:15:37,100
All gives us some more the
answers, you know, in a world of

4229
04:15:37,100 --> 04:15:39,900
every time I get on Facebook, it
just kind of breaks my heart

4230
04:15:39,900 --> 04:15:44,600
that people are.
Arguing the gospel and so much

4231
04:15:44,600 --> 04:15:48,300
anti-mormon rhetoric.
I just sure.

4232
04:15:49,700 --> 04:15:52,100
It's a bit much.
It's a bit much for all of us

4233
04:15:52,100 --> 04:15:55,200
and we need to have a place
where we can go and feel

4234
04:15:55,200 --> 04:15:58,900
supported by others and have a
place to go where we can have

4235
04:15:58,900 --> 04:16:01,500
those conversations.
Like, Taylor's class on the

4236
04:16:01,500 --> 04:16:03,900
gospel that he just started.
Those are have been wonderful.

4237
04:16:04,700 --> 04:16:07,300
I know there's going to be so
much more as other people kind

4238
04:16:07,300 --> 04:16:10,700
of learn about this and kind of
join join the party here with

4239
04:16:10,700 --> 04:16:12,100
us.
Yep.

4240
04:16:12,100 --> 04:16:14,800
Yep.
Absolutely, no, that's good

4241
04:16:14,800 --> 04:16:17,800
stuff.
Um, Gosh, I feel like that was

4242
04:16:17,800 --> 04:16:21,000
just a good, a good wrap-up of
what we've talked about Joni.

4243
04:16:21,000 --> 04:16:22,500
Is there anything else you want
to talk about?

4244
04:16:22,500 --> 04:16:28,200
Know, that's I've said, all I
say we, we do marketing and we

4245
04:16:28,200 --> 04:16:31,400
have, you know, kind of links to
our website and to Cocoa power

4246
04:16:31,400 --> 04:16:35,100
and I'll just tell you what, you
know, spend some time there we

4247
04:16:35,100 --> 04:16:36,800
can chat about that.
Another time.

4248
04:16:36,800 --> 04:16:42,300
I feel like We've already shared
so much about us as people I

4249
04:16:42,300 --> 04:16:45,000
wanted to share with you guys a
bunch of photos of the places.

4250
04:16:45,000 --> 04:16:46,600
I grew up and some things like
that, I don't know.

4251
04:16:46,600 --> 04:16:50,100
You can do a screen share real
quick if you want or I can I

4252
04:16:50,100 --> 04:16:55,200
have some show notes and things
that I kind of want to share as

4253
04:16:55,200 --> 04:17:01,000
well.
The articles that I find that

4254
04:17:01,000 --> 04:17:03,700
have helped me that I try to
read every year to kind of help

4255
04:17:03,700 --> 04:17:06,100
me deal with some of the
challenges that I've had that

4256
04:17:06,100 --> 04:17:10,200
have been significant and Yeah
maybe.

4257
04:17:10,200 --> 04:17:14,400
Um but there are several several
topics like that that have just

4258
04:17:14,400 --> 04:17:19,800
been profound in my life that I
feel like Carpet perspective on

4259
04:17:19,800 --> 04:17:22,400
things, you know, we're in the
middle of a lot, you know, we

4260
04:17:22,400 --> 04:17:26,900
teach psychology of marketing,
you know, the positive present

4261
04:17:26,900 --> 04:17:30,200
personal how that can change
your thinking and and make you

4262
04:17:30,200 --> 04:17:33,200
tons more in business, literally
hundreds of thousands.

4263
04:17:33,200 --> 04:17:38,100
If you have a large business and
Joni's sharing her book on, you

4264
04:17:38,100 --> 04:17:43,000
know, building better brains and
little genius children were

4265
04:17:43,000 --> 04:17:49,200
promoting cocoa power which you
know, has Energy by kind of a

4266
04:17:49,200 --> 04:17:52,600
bar for athletes, and, of
course, we do marketing and some

4267
04:17:52,600 --> 04:17:54,000
things like that.
And then we're just trying to

4268
04:17:54,000 --> 04:18:00,000
promote, you know, Ogden crowd,
and Drew Bryan's books and so

4269
04:18:00,000 --> 04:18:04,800
many others of you would have
Excellent books and, and skills

4270
04:18:04,800 --> 04:18:08,600
and and things that we can add
to the website and promote you

4271
04:18:08,600 --> 04:18:11,800
as well, which is really what
I'm hopeful for that, we can all

4272
04:18:11,800 --> 04:18:14,300
kind of work together to, you
know, create that design.

4273
04:18:14,300 --> 04:18:19,100
And Hopefully soon a community
with hundreds and hundreds of

4274
04:18:19,100 --> 04:18:21,200
thousands of people of
Believers, you know?

4275
04:18:21,200 --> 04:18:23,800
That's that's what I see.
You know, moving forward.

4276
04:18:25,400 --> 04:18:27,300
Absolutely.
We'll have to get you back on

4277
04:18:27,300 --> 04:18:29,800
for the rest of that.
I definitely am interested in

4278
04:18:29,800 --> 04:18:32,700
doing that.
So we'll have to we'll have to

4279
04:18:32,700 --> 04:18:34,500
jump back on.
But there's a standing rule

4280
04:18:34,500 --> 04:18:37,100
you've been one on one, you got
standing invitation to come

4281
04:18:37,100 --> 04:18:41,900
back, so don't don't feel like
you're, you're you need, you

4282
04:18:41,900 --> 04:18:44,800
need me to call you first.
You can just pick up the phone

4283
04:18:44,800 --> 04:18:45,700
and go.
Hey, I'm ready.

4284
04:18:45,700 --> 04:18:48,100
What's your number?
I know where to find.

4285
04:18:48,900 --> 04:18:50,800
You know where to find me.
We've worked close enough

4286
04:18:50,800 --> 04:18:54,500
together.
Now, on this project, that That.

4287
04:18:54,500 --> 04:18:57,100
Yeah I'll answer my phone or
shortly thereafter.

4288
04:18:57,100 --> 04:19:01,800
I'd like to say always on time
when it rings I'll pick up but

4289
04:19:01,800 --> 04:19:03,400
inevitably, I'm always on the
phone.

4290
04:19:03,400 --> 04:19:07,500
So Um, no, but dude, good stuff,
guys.

4291
04:19:07,500 --> 04:19:10,100
I appreciate you being on.
I appreciate all the work you

4292
04:19:10,100 --> 04:19:12,200
put in to that website.
So yeah.

4293
04:19:12,200 --> 04:19:16,600
Um, we'll put some links in
there for for your other project

4294
04:19:16,600 --> 04:19:20,500
there.
You're, you're Marketing company

4295
04:19:20,500 --> 04:19:23,900
and we'll put it up there in the
show notes and people can go

4296
04:19:23,900 --> 04:19:26,400
check that out.
All right, our little bio has

4297
04:19:26,400 --> 04:19:27,900
some of those links already on
us.

4298
04:19:27,900 --> 04:19:30,800
So if someone wants to find out,
we're really easy to find.

4299
04:19:30,800 --> 04:19:34,000
And then I've tried to do that
with everybody as well, because

4300
04:19:36,100 --> 04:19:39,300
Kevin crowd.
You need to go over to his his

4301
04:19:39,300 --> 04:19:43,000
little website and and read the
free versions that he's making

4302
04:19:43,000 --> 04:19:46,100
available of Ogden crowds books.
If you don't have the funds for

4303
04:19:46,100 --> 04:19:49,100
a go, go, get them.
And also, others have made his

4304
04:19:49,100 --> 04:19:52,400
audios available.
So, for free, so you can go and

4305
04:19:52,400 --> 04:19:54,000
listen to the audio.
If you're busy and you're

4306
04:19:54,008 --> 04:19:58,100
driving in your car from YouTube
and Andrew briney's costly

4307
04:19:58,100 --> 04:20:00,000
riding new books.
And he's getting a bunch of them

4308
04:20:00,000 --> 04:20:04,300
up and we'll have PDFs for
everyone as well as well as some

4309
04:20:04,300 --> 04:20:07,800
better versions of the audio's
because I absolutely love

4310
04:20:07,800 --> 04:20:12,200
listening to audios at two times
speed and I know that that I

4311
04:20:12,200 --> 04:20:14,800
absorb so much more information
sometimes when I do that.

4312
04:20:14,800 --> 04:20:18,800
So I feel like this is just kind
of the start of kind of getting

4313
04:20:18,800 --> 04:20:22,800
the basic idea of just a few
people up there and kind of the

4314
04:20:22,800 --> 04:20:26,900
basic idea of the BIOS.
I did try to write neat several

4315
04:20:26,900 --> 04:20:29,600
emails so he could send me more
of a bio for him.

4316
04:20:29,600 --> 04:20:32,800
And I absolutely want that for
everyone else so we can just

4317
04:20:32,800 --> 04:20:36,800
make this professional and and
kind of Scents to your business

4318
04:20:36,800 --> 04:20:39,600
and just what it is that you're
doing just, you know, highlight

4319
04:20:39,600 --> 04:20:42,300
everybody here because we all
have gifts that are just

4320
04:20:42,300 --> 04:20:44,500
fantastic and we can support
each other that way.

4321
04:20:45,300 --> 04:20:47,100
Absolutely.
Thanks for thanks for having us

4322
04:20:47,100 --> 04:20:49,500
on Dave.
No, thank you guys.

4323
04:20:49,500 --> 04:20:51,800
I appreciate I appreciate
everything you've done.

4324
04:20:51,808 --> 04:20:54,900
I really do so well.
It's uh yeah.

4325
04:20:56,000 --> 04:20:58,400
Keep talking.
Well, I'm sure we'll get you

4326
04:20:58,400 --> 04:21:00,000
back on.
Yeah.

4327
04:21:00,000 --> 04:21:04,400
And hopefully I'll be healed up
even more so and have, you know,

4328
04:21:04,408 --> 04:21:07,900
sharply.
So absolutely looking forward to

4329
04:21:07,900 --> 04:21:11,700
some updates on that.
And my lifting, I want four or

4330
04:21:11,700 --> 04:21:13,600
500 pounds up this year on my
squad.

4331
04:21:13,600 --> 04:21:16,400
So that's the goalies.
Nice out of kid.

4332
04:21:16,400 --> 04:21:18,100
Awesome.
Hang out for five minutes.

4333
04:21:18,100 --> 04:21:20,400
All right.
All right, all right.

4334
04:21:20,408 --> 04:21:21,000
Bye everybody.