Episode #172: Temple Series PT2-Law Of Obedience W/Felipe & Marilynn Cervantes

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The.
You're listening to the Mormon

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Renegade podcast.
Well, guys, we're back.

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Usually I don't like turn it
around this fast, right when,

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when someone's on, I'm like, OK,
let's give them a break because

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a little bit of me goes a long
ways.

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And I'm I'm well aware of that.
But I appreciate you guys coming

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back on.
And, you know, it was last the

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the last time we talked, Mary
Lynn, you had said something

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very interesting, which was when
you, you were very concerned

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when you were in the LDS church,
when they took out the part of

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the law of obedience where you
covenanted to your husband.

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And, and so I thought, what,
what better, you know, because I

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knew I was going to do this
temple series right where we're

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breaking down the covenants.
And I thought they would be,

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they would be good to have back
on to talk about the law of

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obedience.
So thanks.

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Thanks again for being here.
We're we're glad to be back so

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and there's never too much of
you.

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You're such a good person to
talk to.

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You should talk to my wives.
They're like, yeah, living with

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them is a different thing.
So the law of obedience, right?

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Like, let's face it, that's a
word that none of us, I think, I

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think if there's any ounce of
independent and being

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independent in US, that's one of
those words that can kind of

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bristle a little bit, right?
Obedience.

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Obedience is something, you
know, that I think as adults,

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we're like, well, that's for the
kids.

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We're we're adults now.
We get to do our own thing.

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And so as you go to the temple
and you hear about the law of

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obedience and you've covenant to
obey that law, I feel like it's

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super important to break down.
And for those who haven't been

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to the temple yet, basically in
the old days, and when I say the

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old days, even the LDS church
had this up until about I want

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to say 2019, I could be wrong.
On those dates, the man would

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covenant to follow God and then
the man's wife would would

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covenant to follow her husband.
And that I want to break down

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both sections, both parts of
that covenant, because I feel

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like one, they're super
important to understand, but 2,

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I think there's a lot of
misunderstanding that goes into

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this, especially on the woman's
side of things.

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And I want to really break that
down.

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South Felipe, I guess you're up,
man.

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Let's, let's talk about this as,
as you sit in the cut in the

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temple and you take that
specific part of the covenant to

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be obedient to God.
What do you think that means?

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What does it look like for you?
Well.

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When I went through, excuse me,
when I went, wow, bro, when I

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went through it and as I was
listening to the words, I was

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kind of horrified by it for
different reasons, man.

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My voice isn't helping today.
The reason why is because you're

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taking on more responsibility.
You're getting married, you're

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getting sealed, and that's a big
responsibility.

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So I'm making a promise to God
that I'm going to take care of

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my wife and lead her to the best
of my abilities.

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What happens if I fail?
Like I'm we're all humans.

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We're all going to fall from
here.

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And then but I was kind of
horrified by it because I'm

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always a person who's afraid of
failure.

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And what if I'm not ready
spiritually?

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What if I feel my wife being a
good priesthood leader, you

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know, once in a while do ask
her, am IA good priesthood

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leader?
Am I, am I helping you?

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Because these are things that
I've always been concerned

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because granted, you have people
who, men who abuse that covenant

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who feel like, OK, I'm like, I'm
only going to answer to God, you

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know, I'm only going to answer
to him.

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I don't really care for what my
wife says, which is a sad way of

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thinking if you ask me.
But going through it and

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thinking about it and reading
about it, you know, I have to,

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it helps me reflect on me.
When my wife got when my wife

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and I both got married, there
was a big culture clash.

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That was one thing like, you
know, I was used to doing things

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this way.
She was used to doing the these

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things that way.
And what does it mean to obey

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the laws of God?
From my perspective, it means

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obeying the commandments he has
given us, being a good husband,

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a good father and always be
there to listen to the concerns

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of your wife or wives.
Did you live the principle?

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Because, you know, when a woman
decides to be a man, it means

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she and makes covenants onto
him.

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It means she just puts trust.
It means she's trusting him to

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lead her to getting closer to
heaven, getting closer to

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Heavenly Father.
And I think men should, when

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they go through those covenants
or when they do ordinances for

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the dead, those who practice the
original ordinances should

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really take these covenants
serious because these are

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serious laws that are Heavenly
Father has placed upon us.

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And, you know, that's all I can
think of.

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Like I was horrified by it.
But it's also when you humble

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yourself, you realize that these
are motivational words to be a

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better husband, be a better
priesthood leader and take care

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of your your wife or wives.
And, you know, my wife has been

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my biggest supporter.
Like I depend on her for, you

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know, helping me with my
homework.

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She's smarter than I am.
And marriage to me is also a

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compromise.
I don't want to use that word,

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but it's probably the only thing
I can think of compromising

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because you're both going to
give up things that you guys

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were used to.
You have to develop a

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relationship.
You have to both maybe find a

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common hobby as well.
Granted, we, we, we all want our

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own social lives as well.
But marriage is a sacrifice.

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That's a thing.
And it could be a humbling

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sacrifice if the man tries to
obey works who obey the rules of

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the laws of God, And if a woman
helps her husband, give him an

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advice if he seeks it.
But also the man should be

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willing to listen to the woman's
opinion on what she thinks.

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You know, sure, but what?
So I, I don't think I phrased

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that question quite right.
So let's, let's try this.

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Just looking stuff up here on
obedience a little bit.

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I'm, I'm going to hit kind of
like five points here that I

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want I want to talk about a
little bit.

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So as a man, when when we take
that law of obedience, right, I

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think there's a couple of things
that have to be there.

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And I read something today that
was that was was pretty

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insightful.
And it says first that obedience

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is liberating.
And I want to bounce this off

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you guys.
How do you think obedience

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liberates us?
That's a good question.

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Well, I think when we think of
obedience of.

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People kind of, it seems kind of
counterintuitive on the surface,

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right?
Like if you're going to be

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obedient to somebody, something
or somebody that would on the

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surface, and I say surface, you
know, put that in great big,

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bold letters on the surface, it
seems like that's almost a loss

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of liberty or a loss of of
choice.

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But there was a quote where it
said, yeah, by being obedient to

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these divine commandments, it's
actually liberating.

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So how do you think that works?
Well, we first is studying those

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commandments.
What are they?

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How do they help us?
You know, like drinking, for

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example, if a person, if a man
or woman are are enslaved to

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those things like drinking,
getting drunk, maybe obey, obey.

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Obeying the word of wisdom can
be liberating because you're

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helping your body, you're making
yourself more healthy, keeping

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the law of chastity, staying
loyal to your wife.

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You know, cheating, adultery is
a very emotional is an emotional

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abuse that a spouse can inflict
on another.

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And I think it depends on how we
also teach these laws because

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some people may teach these laws
and make it seem tyrannical when

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I don't think that's what I
don't believe.

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That's what Heavenly Father, O
the prophets had in mind.

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It is to make us better people,
not just to ourselves, but to

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people around us, those who are
we're taking care of, to our

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family, living by example.
I also want to kind of answer

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that question too.
Think about your parents and

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when they were raising you as a
son, they have certain rules and

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and things put in place.
And when you're a kid, you

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think, I don't want to, I don't
want to do whatever I want to do

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or especially when you're a
teenager.

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But if you really think about
it, the things that they set in

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place were there to protect us,
protect us of the things that

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could entrap us.
And so obedience, being obedient

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to the law of God is liberating
in the sense that we are, we are

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protected from the things of the
world.

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And so 'cause the things of the
a lot of things of the world can

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entrap us to be in the powers of
Satan, to be, to not be growing

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closer to our Heavenly Father.
And so that's kind of how I see

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the obedience as a liberation is
it's a protection.

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Yeah, You know, there's, it's
interesting, right?

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I'm going to use two analogies
here for this.

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As I was thinking about this, I
couldn't help but think about

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the founding fathers of the of
the United States.

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And I know this sounds strange
on the surface, but give me a

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minute and I'll bring it full
circle as we look at what they

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were up against under the
Articles of Confederation before

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the Constitution was formed.
They had ultimate freedom,

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right?
The states could print their own

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money and did laws, you know,
common laws weren't enforced

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from 1 border to another.
So you couldn't really count on

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anything.
But those individual states had

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ultimate sovereignty.
Now what happens is, is that

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that amount of I don't even want
to say freedom, right?

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Because I don't think that's a
good word for it.

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And liberty's not a good word
for it either.

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But it was kind of a free for
all, right?

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You were free to do whatever you
wanted.

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The problem is, is that there
was no order there, right?

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And there was no way that we
could have a cohesive

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government, a cohesive people in
the state that we were in.

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So, so you needed to rein that
in, right?

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And what they did is they moved
it from almost complete anarchy

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back to a more, just a little
bit to stabilize things, I

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think, as people.
OK, let me rephrase this.

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I'm just going to speak for me.
If there's no nothing to be

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obedient to, I'm going to run
amok.

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I promise you I will do things
that are self-destructive on a

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massive level, right?
And just kind of like what Mary

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Lynn was talking about there.
I will do things that in the end

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will actually cost me more
freedom than had I been obedient

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to God, right?
You know, I was, I was

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absolutely dependent upon booze
when I was a younger man and

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there wasn't much freedom there,
right?

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I was sure free to drink, but I
wasn't free for the consequences

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of it, right?
Took me a long time to overcome

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that.
The other, you know, thing that

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that I think of here is that we
look at it as being restricted

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in some way.
But the truth is, is that if we

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go out and we do everything we
want to do, it's just going to

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lead to self destruction, right?
And likewise, I think with our

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Father in Heaven's Commandments,
it's like the, it's like the

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operator's manual, right?
Like some dude can can, you

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know, you buy a new car and you
decide you don't want to put in

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transmission fluid.
You're certainly free to do

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that, but the outcomes are going
to be disastrous.

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And I think that's something we
need to recognize here as we

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talk about obedience.
It's not so much trying to limit

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our enjoyment of this life.
I think as it is designed to try

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to enhance the ability to, to
enjoy this life, right?

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We we get more out of being
obedient, we get healthier

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spiritually and physically and
that gives us a chance at

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enjoyment more.
Yeah, I I agree with that.

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And I've seen it also with
chocolates typically.

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Like it's not, I'm not saying
you can't eat chocolate.

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That's not what I'm saying,
right.

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I'm just saying that chocolate
is highly addictive and when you

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make healthier choices in your
life, it's you don't feel as

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highly or is addicted to that.
Same thing goes with like the

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commandments of God.
When you choose things that are

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negative, like you were talking
about with drinking or addiction

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to that you don't, you're not as
free.

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And, and so God sets up these
laws and commandments to help us

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so that we don't become so
dependent on other things.

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I also wanted to say with this,
with this law in the temple, I

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find it interesting.
It's the first covenant that we

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make.
And it's, it's, you're basically

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like we were saying, the man is
covenanting to follow God's law

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and keep his commandments.
And it, it's interesting because

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there's, there's other covenants
that follow the after that, but

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it's the first one.
It's like there's going to be

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more.
You need to be obedient to them

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and you need to be obedient to
all of the other commandments.

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So it's it's, it's very
significant that it's the first

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one.
It's kind of setting a

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foundation.
Yeah, I think it's the

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foundation upon which you build
everything else, right.

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Sometimes I think we, we
overlook the, the, the fact that

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the word disciple, it's root
word is discipline, right?

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00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:42,280
And again, not a fun word,
right?

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00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,120
When I think of discipline, it's
going to the gym when I don't

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00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,760
want to.
It's getting up and going to

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work when I don't want to.
It's all those things that I

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really don't want to do.
But the, the strange thing is,

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00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,680
and I've, I've said this about
the gym for quite a while now,

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it's the hardest, best part of
my day, right?

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00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:03,720
Because I walk in, I'm not
wanting to be there, but I

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forced myself to do it.
And then I feel better coming

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00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,200
out, right I, I feel like I've,
I've done something and I've

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started the day off.
There's something about sweat

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00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,320
dripping off of your face that
feels really good.

251
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,920
Yes, yes, sometimes when
mascaras run into, I mean, it's

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00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,920
an ugly sign, but I, I get
through it.

253
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:27,480
But no, I, I think, I think
that's exactly right.

254
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:30,520
I think, I think what this is,
is this is setting us up for

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00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:35,040
discipleship, right?
To to have that discipline to

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00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:38,440
follow after the Savior.
Speaking of discipleship with

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that, it's interesting if if
you're thinking about the

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00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:47,960
endowment, it's there's a
promise that if you obey the law

259
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:51,800
of obedience and the law of
sacrifice, which I'm sure you'll

260
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:56,040
have another episode on the law
of sacrifice, but it's promised

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00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,920
that you will have a savior to
that the Savior's going to be

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00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,640
provided.
That's an interesting one,

263
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,640
right?
Like that's interesting.

264
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,280
That carries some connotations.
What?

265
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:08,920
OK, expound on that a little
bit.

266
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,319
What do you guys think that
that?

267
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,560
Why do you think that's there
that way?

268
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:20,400
Never thought about it actually.
Actually, as I was preparing for

269
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,359
this, I was, I noticed that and
was thinking, I was thinking

270
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:29,400
about it.
And I think, you know, I, I

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00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,680
guess I can't really talk about
this with also kind of

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00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:35,920
mentioning the law of sacrifice.
I'll just briefly mention it

273
00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,960
'cause I know you're gonna do
another episode.

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00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:43,120
But the law of sacrifice is
talking about like covenanting

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00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,320
or consecrating everything that
you have.

276
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And so I think unless I'm wrong
or sacrificing your time.

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And anyway, so when you think
about sacrifice, that is paying

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homage to the Savior, sacrifice
for us, his atonement.

279
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,360
And then when you think about
obedience to the, the keeping

280
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:11,120
the commandments of God, what
better way to bring you closer

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00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:15,160
to the Savior than by keeping
the commandments of God?

282
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,760
And so I think with hand in
hand, with sacrifice and

283
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:23,480
obedience, I, I think it's very
powerful that the Savior has

284
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:28,040
promised because that's kind of
the foundation with giving,

285
00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:34,280
giving up of yourself through
sacrifice and then also choosing

286
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:37,520
to follow God.
Yeah, yeah, No, I think you're

287
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,040
right.
I and I think it, the other

288
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,520
thing I was thinking is that in
some ways you're sacrificing

289
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,960
your will, your own will to be
obedient, right?

290
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:50,680
And so there's, there's very
much a sacrifice involved in our

291
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,360
part, right?
And that's, that's that

292
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:57,280
obedience thing.
And, and we see this right?

293
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:02,520
Like it, it is the basis by
which we are going to become

294
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,920
disciples of, of Jesus Christ.
I mean that that's, that's it.

295
00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:10,280
That's the entryway, right?
Even getting baptized is

296
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:14,120
predicated upon being obedient
to the commandment of God to to

297
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:18,200
have that ordinance done, have a
remission of your sins and then

298
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,760
you.
The blessing is the gift of the

299
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:26,200
Holy Ghost, right?
And we know from the DNC that it

300
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:30,240
says that that all blessings are
kind of predicated on our

301
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,520
obedience till to those
ordinances.

302
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,080
DNC 1:30.
Yep, Yep.

303
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:38,760
And so like, it is the key that
kind of starts the car, so to

304
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:44,760
speak, right?
So I, I let let's do this.

305
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,840
I'm going to throw out just some
a couple things I thought of

306
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,360
today as, as I was prepping for
this and I want to talk about

307
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:55,640
it.
How does being obedient to the

308
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,280
commandment to forgive others?
How is that liberating?

309
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,320
And you're avoiding grudges.
It keeps us back.

310
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,680
There's a difference between
forgetting and forgiving, man.

311
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:09,080
I could forgive somebody for
hurting me, but I'm not going to

312
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,840
forget it.
But forgiven means you're not

313
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,040
going to hold it against
anymore.

314
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:18,120
You're refusing to be slave to
those emotions and only grudges

315
00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,880
and a healthy thing.
It prevents you from

316
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:24,080
appreciating life more.
Appreciating family like like my

317
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,000
family, I came from a rough
family so upset about it.

318
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,880
Forgiven them.
Like I have a good relations for

319
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,040
my dad.
If I kept those scrudges against

320
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,240
him, I probably wouldn't have
been better.

321
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,720
I wouldn't.
I probably wouldn't have been

322
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,160
able to build that relationship
I have with my dad right now.

323
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,520
Now, I learned from his
mistakes.

324
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,840
When I have children, I'm not
going to raise my children the

325
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:47,080
way he raised me.
I want to take it the other way.

326
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:51,120
I want to be a better father and
always improve myself because

327
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,040
like I said, we're humans.
We're going to do mistakes.

328
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:58,200
But yeah, forgiving others can.
That's that could be liberating.

329
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,080
And it's difficult to.
Obeying the laws of God isn't an

330
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:05,240
easy thing, right?
Maybe some people might find it

331
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,080
easy, but it's not an easy
thing.

332
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:12,200
And you know, holding anger can
upset your spiritual balance.

333
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,160
You can't.
It prevents you from getting

334
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:17,160
closer to God because you bring
in all those negative emotions,

335
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,960
all that negative energy, I
guess.

336
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:20,560
No.
Yeah, absolutely.

337
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,320
It's counterproductive in my
opinion.

338
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,880
Absolutely.
I've noticed it.

339
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,080
You know, there's a few people
I've known in my life that just

340
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,920
couldn't let it go, right?
And those, those folks end up

341
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,080
like, you can see a visible
change, right?

342
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:42,440
And it's like, it's literally
like beating yourself up to try

343
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,840
to get vengeance on the person
that, that wrongs you.

344
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:50,080
And, and so it, it is freeing in
that, in that aspect.

345
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:54,280
What?
What do you think it is that

346
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:58,480
keeps us from being as obedient
as what we could be?

347
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,040
Pride.
Pride.

348
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,600
Pretty much pride.
Plain it.

349
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,600
So OK, let's think, why do I say
pride?

350
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:19,520
It kind of goes back to humbling
ourselves to listen.

351
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:28,480
So you think about a child, more
specifically a teenager, say

352
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,520
they, they do something that's
disobedient to their parents.

353
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:35,160
Well, sometimes their door,
their bedroom door might be

354
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:37,640
taken off.
I'm not saying this happened to

355
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,840
me, but might have happened to
one of my siblings.

356
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:51,840
And you know, when, when they
decided to humble themselves and

357
00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:56,960
be kinder and listen to what my
parents were saying, guess what?

358
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,080
They got their privileges back.
They got their door back.

359
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:05,240
They got their privacy back.
I think that only happened once.

360
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,760
So I'm not saying my parents are
horrible.

361
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:12,880
I'm just saying that like the
pride, the I'm better, I'm

362
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,120
smarter.
I know better than you know, So

363
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,840
therefore I'm right and you're
wrong.

364
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,680
That can be very bad when it
comes to keeping the

365
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,440
commandments of God and obeying
God's law.

366
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,800
If you think that you know
better than God and that you

367
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:32,120
think he's wrong and you're
right and your will is right,

368
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:37,960
are you really growing and and
becoming a disciple of Christ?

369
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,040
Not really because you're not
allowing, you're blocking

370
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:47,560
yourself from growing because
you are just all uppity and

371
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,840
prideful about it.
So just humble yourself and

372
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:58,960
think about what lack I get,
what can I do to improve myself

373
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:02,160
and be and more so obey the law
of God.

374
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,920
Oh I think, I think you're 100%
correct.

375
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:10,760
That pride thing is something
that can can absolutely get in

376
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:16,880
the way of of being obedient.
How do we overcome it though,

377
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000
right?
Because here's the thing, right,

378
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:24,720
I am, I am a big believer in we
need to figure out how to

379
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:30,040
surrender our own ego at times.
However, you do need a little

380
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,920
bit of ego, otherwise you're
going to be a quivering mess

381
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:37,280
under the table, right?
I mean, like, I honestly think

382
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,640
that the, the, the Lord made
sure that, that we didn't always

383
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,000
get to see how bad we really
were or else we give up, right?

384
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,400
I have no doubt of that.
So how is it that we overcome

385
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,480
that pride?
How is it we're able to shelve

386
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,400
that pride so that we can live
up to that covenant we make in

387
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,480
the temple?
That's a loaded question, I

388
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,720
know.
Depends on the individual.

389
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,640
It depends on the circumstances.
I think it depends.

390
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:08,440
It's probably, at least from my
experience, I think what humbled

391
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,280
me and made me more forgive of
others, forgiving of others, is

392
00:25:11,280 --> 00:25:12,680
when I went through basic
training.

393
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,880
Going all through through that
stress humbled me because I

394
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:20,600
realized that being in that
bubble of military discipline,

395
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,360
having people yell at you where
you don't have privacy, you have

396
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:26,440
the drill Sergeant sprinkling
down your neck, made me

397
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,280
appreciate what I had in the
outside world and changed my

398
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:32,280
perspective.
And it would depend on the

399
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,760
individual, on what their
perspective is.

400
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:38,560
It's not an easy thing to do.
It's not an easy thing to do.

401
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:42,720
To let go of grudges, to let go
of your egotistic beliefs.

402
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,760
It's not an easy thing.
It's, it's a journey.

403
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:50,240
It doesn't happen overnight and
it's a slow build up to what we

404
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,560
could become as servants of
Heavenly Father.

405
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,240
But probably if a person is
serious and wants to let go of

406
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,560
these things, it's they have to
do a lot of search, soul

407
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,240
searching, reflect upon their
actions, reflect on the actions

408
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,240
of others and see, OK, maybe I
shouldn't do it this way.

409
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,000
I shouldn't hold this against
that person because maybe this

410
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,600
person was raised an abusive
household or this person hasn't

411
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,840
had a friend.
It's not easy, you know.

412
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,720
I also like that he that he said
reflection, reflect on yourself,

413
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,280
look inwardly as as you asked
that question.

414
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,280
What came to my mind is
something that has helped me Is

415
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:32,880
Alma chapter 5.
OK, And that's when it's

416
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:42,720
basically when Alma is teaching
to, I don't remember who anyway,

417
00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:46,040
he's teaching what kind of as a
missionary and he's asking

418
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,560
introspective questions.
It's the one where it talks

419
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,560
about how you experience this
mighty change in your heart.

420
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:55,880
And the whole chapter is full of
introspective questions, so that

421
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:01,560
just reflecting upon yourself
and looking inwardly on on

422
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,480
things, I think it's a huge way
to overcome it.

423
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:09,840
Am I saying it's super easy?
No, it's a constant something

424
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:10,960
you constantly have to do.
You can't.

425
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,400
You're it's not like 01 and
done.

426
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,960
I'm not prideful anymore.
That is actually pride in this.

427
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:20,880
I.
I, I, I I got it.

428
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,360
I automatically go to the song
Amish Paradise by Weird Al

429
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:29,080
Yankovic where he says I'm 1000
times more humble than thou art

430
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:31,400
right.
It's like that humble brag.

431
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,040
It's an American masculine
there, OK.

432
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:39,440
So I, I highly recommend like
going through Alma 5, it's kind

433
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,800
of long, but going through it
and answering the questions for

434
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:45,120
yourself and not just doing it
once, doing it multiple times.

435
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,640
I think it's time that I do it
again, just now that I'm

436
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:50,800
thinking about it.
You know, I think, I think

437
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,800
sometimes it comes down to our
motivations, right?

438
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:57,280
What is it that's getting us to
do the thing that we need to do?

439
00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,880
Look, we were all the three of
us were in the LDS church at

440
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,360
some point.
And I've even seen this in

441
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:06,040
fundamentalism a little bit,
right?

442
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,320
Which just goes to show people
or people no matter which church

443
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:15,640
you're going to, but we all know
the guy who comes to church or

444
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:21,720
the family that comes to church
that, you know, nobody's that

445
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,640
happy to be there all the time,
right?

446
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,120
And they, they go out of their
way.

447
00:28:28,120 --> 00:28:31,440
They treat the, they treat their
religious affiliation kind of

448
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:34,080
like a Country Club, right?
They're going to come in,

449
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,880
they're going to to kind of put
on a show and and then they're

450
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,720
going to go away.
Now I'm always glad someone's at

451
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,360
church, right?
But you do have to wonder

452
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,280
sometimes about the motivation,
right?

453
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,960
Are you there simply because
it's the thing to do and you

454
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,600
want to kind of be seen, or are
you there to work on yourself?

455
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,480
Right.
I've, I kind of adopted the

456
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:00,520
mentality years ago that I think
your church should be more like

457
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:05,440
a hospital, right, where you're
coming to get get healed, not so

458
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:10,160
much a place that you go to show
everyone how good you are,

459
00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,560
right.
And look, maybe folks are that

460
00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:13,960
good.
And if so, that's great.

461
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:19,240
I'm behind the 8 ball on that.
But it, it takes, we have to

462
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,960
look at our motivations on why
we do the things we do.

463
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,920
Or at least that's what's helped
me, right?

464
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:30,040
To, to be able to kind of sift
through what's my pride and then

465
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,360
what it is I feel like God's
asking me to do.

466
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,280
And that's, that's tough.
That's a tough place to be.

467
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:42,280
I think also we always have to
remember that we're, we really

468
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,960
are fragile, fragile creatures,
right?

469
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,720
It doesn't take much to take out
a human being, right?

470
00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:54,000
We don't have a hard exoskeleton
like a turtle, you know, we

471
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:58,560
don't have leathery skin.
We're, we're, you know, capable

472
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,080
of being taken out pretty
easily.

473
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,400
And sometimes as I walk around,
especially on construction job

474
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:07,200
sites, it's amazing more people
don't die more frequently.

475
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,600
So this idea that we're, we're
absolutely reliant upon God for

476
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,960
every breath we take, I think is
huge as well.

477
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,240
And and trying to shelf that
pride.

478
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:24,920
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like I said, it's

479
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,800
kind of easy to the laws of gods
are not easy.

480
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:32,080
Granted, there's people.
I think my experience, my

481
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,880
experience in the LDS church and
religion in general, I've met

482
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:37,920
like people like that.
They just go to church to keep

483
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:39,720
an image.
Are they there?

484
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,960
Because like you said, they need
that spiritual nourishment.

485
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,800
They need to go to that
spiritual hospital.

486
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,240
And like I say, you need to,
people need to self reflect.

487
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,000
Do you want to go to church?
Do you want to obey God because

488
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,360
you know, it's liberating?
Or are you just doing these

489
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,320
things because you want to keep
an image or you're doing with a

490
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:59,960
grudge?
You know, like they're, they're

491
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,200
not easy rules.
They're not easy commandments.

492
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,080
I struggled with some.
I actually struggled with a lot

493
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:11,280
of them actually.
They're good for us spiritually,

494
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,520
physically, psychologically.
They can be very good for us,

495
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,720
for us.
And I think people should take

496
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,960
time to study all the
commandments of the Lord and see

497
00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,640
how you can apply it to your
everyday life.

498
00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:26,800
Absolutely you.
Know this?

499
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,320
This is a good spot to bring up
a a thought I had.

500
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,680
So when I was on a mission, it
was, we were, it was drilled

501
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:38,080
into us over and over that oh
back exact obedience brings

502
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,720
blessings.
Now, that's true to a point.

503
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,840
It's true in the fact that, OK,
let me just see how I'm going to

504
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,680
phrase this.
So when you're choosing to be

505
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,360
exactly obedient, are you
choosing to be exactly obedient

506
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:55,600
because that's what you're told
to do?

507
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,560
Or are you choosing to do that
because it's what you want to

508
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,160
do?
Now I had a companion that was

509
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,960
exactly obedient to like no
questions.

510
00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,120
You didn't make mistakes like
ever.

511
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:14,080
I mean, she did, but but she
like she's like, no, we follow

512
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,040
the rules to a teeth.
Our appointment is supposed to

513
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,960
be 30 minutes.
We're out in 30 minutes no

514
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,280
matter what.
We can't like and I I was more

515
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:26,520
of well, yes, we should be
obedient to the rules, but what

516
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:30,960
if it's not what somebody needs?
Now I'm making this sound kind

517
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,760
of like, Oh, well, we can break
the rules when we need to.

518
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:38,280
No, that's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is when you

519
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,080
choose to be obedient, are you
doing it out of love?

520
00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:44,720
And so I remember her telling me
at the end of my companionship,

521
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:49,640
she said, you know, I, I'm good
at being obedient to the rules,

522
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,480
but you taught me that love is
more important.

523
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:59,040
And so the what's the motivation
behind being obedient to to

524
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:04,400
God's law?
What's are you exactly obedient

525
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:06,160
because that's what you're told
to do?

526
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,480
Or are you exactly obedient
because you want to do it?

527
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:12,480
And are you showing love to
whoever, to whatever, whoever is

528
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:14,600
affected by your choosing to be
obedient?

529
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,000
And so that's some she's told me
she, that's what she told me she

530
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,080
learned from me is loving the
people we're serving, whereas I

531
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,680
learned from her.
I need to be a little less of a

532
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:30,280
rule breaker.
I, I think the motivation's a

533
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:35,360
huge thing on that, right,
'cause look, I think obedience

534
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,600
to God is good no matter how you
get there.

535
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,520
But I do think at some point he
wants something more, right?

536
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,120
We see this with Adam's God,
right?

537
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:50,520
Adam's out there and he's, he's,
you know, offering up sacrifices

538
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,640
and the Angel shows up, he's
like, why you doing this?

539
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,160
I don't know, 'cause God told me
to, right?

540
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:58,240
And that was kind of where it
stopped, right?

541
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,360
And then there had to be some
explanation like, no, this goes

542
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:04,120
a little bit deeper.
And so sometimes those

543
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:09,120
motivations are huge, right?
So if if you're going to church

544
00:34:09,280 --> 00:34:13,280
or if you're doing anything
within the gospel to just be

545
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:16,639
obedient, that's not horrible,
right?

546
00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:20,639
Let's face it.
But then maybe you're doing it

547
00:34:20,639 --> 00:34:26,239
to avoid a punishment.
That's not bad either.

548
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,080
That's even maybe a little bit
better.

549
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,840
But I think ultimately, I think
we'd want to get to a point to

550
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,280
where we were keeping, keeping
those commandments, being

551
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,400
obedient to God because we love
him, right?

552
00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:44,639
And we also understand at some
point that we're mature enough

553
00:34:44,639 --> 00:34:48,120
that he knows what's best,
despite what we may feel.

554
00:34:48,639 --> 00:34:52,679
And so I think like in all these
things, there's, there's surface

555
00:34:52,679 --> 00:34:54,719
levels.
And then the Lord goes after the

556
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:58,480
heart, right?
Let's get down to to why you're

557
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,360
doing what you're doing.
The why is just as important as

558
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,320
anything else.
Yeah, 100%.

559
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,600
So let's let's move into the to
the actual temple covenant here

560
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,560
a little bit, right?
Not going to give much away.

561
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:17,080
We're not going to be making
signs or tokens or anything like

562
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:25,400
that.
But the it's, it's, it's always

563
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:32,320
struck me as important that the
Lord uses the law of obedience

564
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,640
and not just establishing kind
of like we were talking about

565
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,880
the starting point of
discipleship, but he uses this

566
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:46,520
to establish essentially what
will be the divine structure of

567
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:50,840
the family, right?
And so Felipe, I want to start

568
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:55,840
here with you.
So as you took that covenant, as

569
00:35:55,840 --> 00:36:02,960
you sat in the temple and you,
you took that covenant and

570
00:36:02,960 --> 00:36:06,880
realized that you were going to
be the one responsible to God

571
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:10,000
here, right?
That, that, hey, I'm, I'm going

572
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,280
to have to answer for my family
right now.

573
00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:16,240
Certainly people always have
their agency and they can do

574
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:20,120
what they want to do, but
there's something on us as men,

575
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:26,440
as dudes that the Lord expects
us to to set, set the example

576
00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:30,320
right.
So how does that affect your

577
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:35,480
marriage as you've promised to
to obey the will of God, How

578
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:36,840
does that affect your marriage
it.

579
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:43,000
Depends on how I decide to imply
these things in my life.

580
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,440
Like I said, I'm going to try to
do my the best that I can to

581
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:51,320
help my wife to be a good
priesthood leader, especially we

582
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,880
we're before we get sealed.
Obviously a man has to hold a

583
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:59,320
Melchizedek priesthood.
My understanding and as you go

584
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,000
up that I don't want to say it
this way, but if as you go up

585
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:06,480
the ladder of the priesthood,
it's a terrible example, but

586
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:12,600
you're given more responsibility
and you know if you break those

587
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,400
if you break those laws that God
has trusted you to enforce to

588
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,120
apply to your life.
I think the consequences are

589
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,080
going to be very are going to be
bad for you spiritually.

590
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,760
You may lose your wife, you may
lose your family if you're not a

591
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:30,240
righteous, if you're not a
righteous man.

592
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,800
And like for me, the way I see
it is if I'm not being, if not,

593
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,400
if I'm not doing the best to my
ability to get my wife closer to

594
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,200
Heavenly Father.
I have failed as a husband and a

595
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:45,800
priesthood leader.
And like I said, I'm a human

596
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,320
being.
I'm going to commit my my

597
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,480
mistakes here and then.
But there's always repentance.

598
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:55,560
Like a woman may be more, they
may be more emotional than us.

599
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,280
Not always the case, but usually
they tend to be.

600
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:02,520
What would be my job to help her
when she's sad, when she's

601
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,600
feeling down?
My job, at least from the way I

602
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,520
see it, my job as a man and as a
priestess holder is to give her

603
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:12,120
that spiritual nourishment, to
give her a hug, tell her I love

604
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:14,000
her.
And you know, whatever happened

605
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:17,040
today, just know that tomorrow's
a new day.

606
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:21,160
And I had a scripture verse with
me, but I lost it on my phone.

607
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:25,640
But it was essentially telling
men to love your wives with all

608
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:33,040
your heart and nothing else.
And you know, like I said, I ask

609
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:34,520
my wife every day, not every
day.

610
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,920
Sometimes I ask her if if I'm my
good husband, if I'm a good

611
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,960
priesthood leader, because it's
something I keep in my

612
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,280
conscious, because it's
something I want to do, not

613
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,440
because God has told told me to
do.

614
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,560
It's more because it's something
I believe that we should do in

615
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,320
our life.
It's something that I feel that

616
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,080
I needed in my life, something I
I should apply it every day

617
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,560
through my actions, through my
words.

618
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,800
And you know, it's I don't want
to lose my wife.

619
00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:00,840
I love Marilyn, you know, if I
become a bad husband, if I

620
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,200
commit fornication, if I start
doing these things that are get

621
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:05,760
me away from Heavenly Father,
I'm going to lose my wife

622
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:09,200
forever.
You know, she may go to a better

623
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,880
person than me.
And that's something that

624
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,360
horrifies me.
You know, people may say they

625
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,520
may be, people may think it's
fear that's motivating me.

626
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,680
No, it's well, I have fear
because I don't want to lose

627
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:20,160
somebody that I love.
That somebody means a lot to me

628
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:23,400
because Marilyn, before I
started dating Marilyn, I was

629
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,560
not in a good place.
Marilyn saved my life.

630
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:29,160
So why would I want to let lose
the woman who saved my life, who

631
00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:32,760
gave my life meaning?
She's important to me.

632
00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:37,040
And I think every husband
should, should think about it.

633
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,960
That woman wants to be with you.
That family has entrusted you to

634
00:39:41,240 --> 00:39:43,000
take care of their daughter.
Honor that.

635
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:45,080
Not just because Heavenly Father
has asked you, it's because you

636
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,640
want to, because you want to
show that you're a man of honor

637
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:51,360
and of your word.
Granted, it's not all, it's not

638
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:52,920
like a walk in the park.
It's not easy.

639
00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:56,520
Marriage is not easy, and I had
to learn that.

640
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,760
But you grow.
You never stop knowing your

641
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,560
spouse.
Their spiritual needs may

642
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,960
change.
Man, she learned how to adapt as

643
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:08,160
well and help their wives and
their children.

644
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:13,560
That's how I see it.
Yeah, No, you're, you're good.

645
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,320
That was good.
I, I look at this right.

646
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:21,560
And so like, as I look at the
pattern in the priesthood that

647
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,480
every time we take a step up
that ladder, as you put it,

648
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:31,560
right, as we take a, a step
forward in the priesthood from

649
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:37,600
Deacon to teacher to priest to,
to elder, to, you know, on up

650
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,320
the chain, right, 70 and
onwards.

651
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:47,560
Every time that happens, it's
with added responsibility to

652
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,280
serve, right.
And, and I think this is

653
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,480
something that that can get
lost.

654
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:58,400
And I think this is this is the
danger when this is not checked

655
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:03,960
because sometimes guys have this
idea of, well, I'm a man of the

656
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:06,280
house.
I'm divinely commissioned to

657
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,400
lead my household, which is
true.

658
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:15,720
However, my thoughts are that
has to be rooted in service

659
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:23,640
right before you can ever, you
know, pull the man card, so to

660
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:28,320
speak, you'd better have laid
that foundation with a lot of

661
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,480
love and a lot of service first,
right?

662
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:40,640
Otherwise, you're a dictator.
And, and so as we as dudes try

663
00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:44,440
to be the head of our household,
it has to be done from a place

664
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:48,280
of service and love.
And it's not enough for us to

665
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:53,600
feel that those whom we try to
protect love and care for, they

666
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:56,880
have to feel that as well in
order for this thing, I think,

667
00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:01,960
to really work.
There's no doubt this is the

668
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:05,520
same way that God patterns his
family, right?

669
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,120
And if we're trying to be like
God, that's if that's what we're

670
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,720
doing here, We want to, you
know, if we're men, we want to

671
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:13,640
be like, like our Father in
heaven.

672
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,120
And, and the sisters want to be
like the Mother in heaven.

673
00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:20,840
There's a pattern to emulate.
And, and I think that this, this

674
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:25,960
law of obedience has a lot to do
with with family structures, not

675
00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,520
just here, but in the
eternities.

676
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,040
So Marilyn, let me ask you this
question.

677
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:39,040
Was it hard to take that
covenant that you were going to

678
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,800
covenant to your husband?
For me, no.

679
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:48,600
But for for others I can see it
being a challenge, sure, because

680
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,800
it is a humble, humbling
covenant to make.

681
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:59,800
But for me it wasn't a challenge
because I don't know, Just the

682
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,080
understanding of the beauty
behind having somebody help

683
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:08,480
guide you is is.
It's just something I understood

684
00:43:08,520 --> 00:43:13,320
and I had no issue with.
What was it you understood that

685
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:17,200
made that easier?
So let's let's play a game.

686
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:21,000
If you were going to talk to to
to another woman who was really

687
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,920
struggling with this, what would
you tell her?

688
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:34,680
Well, let me, let me, let me
bring up a scripture that

689
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:38,480
absolutely touched my heart.
Absolutely.

690
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:51,400
It's in, I'm trying to so I have
two.

691
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:56,400
I'll start with Genesis 316 and
then then we'll go to the other

692
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:11,960
one as well.
OK, so it it says at the end of

693
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:17,280
the the verse in Genesis 316, it
says thy desire shall be to thy

694
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:18,760
husband and he shall rule over
thee.

695
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:23,160
So this is when Eve, this is
basically when even and Adam are

696
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:28,960
taking basically commenting for
the law of law of obedience.

697
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,200
But it's it's so it's talking
about like she because she took

698
00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:37,600
predictive fruit and it will her
sorrow will be multiplied in

699
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:41,280
like conception.
And but then it goes on thy

700
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,520
desire to shall be to thy
husband and he shall rule over

701
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:49,560
thee with rule.
That word sounds kind of scary.

702
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,200
We all think of it as a dictator
as like a king.

703
00:44:53,720 --> 00:44:57,080
But there, if you look at the
history of the word, I actually

704
00:44:57,080 --> 00:45:04,720
looked this up on I don't
etymonline.com and looked at

705
00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:06,360
like the history of the word
rule.

706
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:14,400
And one of the definitions is
like thinking of a thick of

707
00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:19,720
measurement and like a guide for
a straight line.

708
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:27,160
And so when we think about
husband ruling over over his

709
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:31,640
wife's, the history of that word
is not to absolute.

710
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:36,360
I say what's right say say it
how as it is and nobody can

711
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:40,800
change anything.
It's he's a guide to help lead

712
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:45,560
you in a straight line.
And then the second scripture

713
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:53,840
that really helped me with this
was First Corinthians 11, kind

714
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,200
of the end of 10, but mostly
verse 3.

715
00:45:57,200 --> 00:46:01,120
But we go back to let me go to
that first.

716
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:08,200
So it's First Corinthians 11.
Oh yeah, it's verse 31.

717
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,920
Sorry, 1st Corinthians 10 verse
31 Wherefore therefore eat or

718
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,640
drink, or whatsoever you do, do
all to the glory of God.

719
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:19,760
And then I wanted to go to verse
1-2 and three.

720
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:24,120
In first Corinthians 11 it says,
be followers of me even as I

721
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,000
also am of Christ.
So going back to obedience of

722
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,240
Christ now I praise you,
brethren, that you Remember Me

723
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:33,680
in all things, and keep the
ordinances as I delivered them

724
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,560
to you.
But I would have you know that

725
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:41,200
the head of every man is Christ,
and the head of every woman is

726
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:43,560
the man, and the head of Christ
is God.

727
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:52,920
And so kind of thinking of a
woman struggling with this, the

728
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,160
head of the woman or the head of
the woman is the man, and the

729
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:59,560
man is head of the man is
Christ.

730
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:04,000
So I think I would say to them,
he will help guide you to

731
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:09,080
Christ.
And why isn't that so beautiful

732
00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:10,880
to have some a guide in your
life?

733
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:14,360
It's you know, they might say,
well, God can guide me.

734
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:20,920
Well, isn't the man and woman
together much stronger having

735
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:23,720
that guide in their life?
And so, you know, it's kind of a

736
00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,000
hard question to ask when
somebody's against it.

737
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:30,840
But the beauty of having someone
to love and cherish you and to

738
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:35,720
help each other together to have
that guide of Christ in your

739
00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:40,120
life is so important.
And he's not there as a like a

740
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:42,960
dictator.
He's there as someone to help

741
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:46,600
guide you.
And he can take suggestions too.

742
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:50,480
It's not like he's not, he's
just going to throw out

743
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:52,520
everything that you that you
say.

744
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:59,400
If he is leading you in
righteousness, it's going to be

745
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:05,160
a joyous experience.
And if you think about like

746
00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:07,960
think about a manager at your
job.

747
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,520
I know we've all of us have had
good managers.

748
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,720
All of us have had bad managers.
Some of us are our own managers.

749
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:21,240
I'm not, but the best managers
that I've had are, are more

750
00:48:21,440 --> 00:48:24,960
happy and willing to get down
and work with you instead of

751
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:31,520
just telling you what to do.
They work together with you and

752
00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:33,560
those are the best kind of
leaders.

753
00:48:33,640 --> 00:48:36,120
And so when you think about the
man and the woman, they're

754
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:40,920
A-Team, not, not a like a boss
and a subordinate.

755
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:47,480
It's, it's beautiful.
I, I, I guess I'm kind of going

756
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:49,240
around in circles, but you're.
Not you're good.

757
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:54,360
Just like just him being a guide
in your life and being your

758
00:48:54,360 --> 00:49:01,720
teammate is, it's a beautiful
covenant that you are making to

759
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:04,160
him to follow him as he follows
God.

760
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:06,960
Absolutely.
I hope that answered the.

761
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:07,720
Question.
No, It did.

762
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:08,800
It did.
It did.

763
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:14,000
And look, there's no doubt dudes
have screwed up in the past,

764
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:15,000
right?
Oh.

765
00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:20,000
Absolutely.
And, and, and they have used

766
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:26,000
this as a club right to, to, to
get their way a lot.

767
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:29,120
I mean, I'm very cognizant of
that.

768
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,280
But the one thing I'd want to
point out is that's the failings

769
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:34,920
of man.
That's not a failing of

770
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,800
principle.
Yeah.

771
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:42,760
And as I've, as I've looked at
this sort of thing, right, and

772
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:47,600
as I've looked at the covenant
itself, her covenant is

773
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:51,360
dependent upon what you do,
right?

774
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:55,880
My wife's covenant to me is
dependent upon how I follow God,

775
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:59,320
right?
And so if, and, and this is

776
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:03,200
something I, I can't stress
enough in this conversation that

777
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:08,080
as, as, as men, and we lead, if
we lead in a way that is

778
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:13,120
contrary to the rules of the
priesthood, that are contrary to

779
00:50:13,400 --> 00:50:17,920
the way Christ would, would
treat his wives and God would

780
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,640
treat his wife.
Those women are under no

781
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,160
obligation to follow us to hell,
right?

782
00:50:23,560 --> 00:50:26,320
And it, it's something that I
think needs to be pointed out

783
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:32,880
here because this isn't
something that is there despite

784
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:36,160
a man's bad decisions right
there.

785
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:39,400
There are, there is a safety
mechanism built in for that.

786
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:44,520
And, and I think that has to be
real clear now.

787
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,440
I, I want to ask you guys this
question, right?

788
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,880
Because this, this does bleed
over to, to later into life and

789
00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:57,640
this sort of thing, but a man
kind of presiding in his home,

790
00:50:57,760 --> 00:50:59,080
right?
And I'm going to bring this up

791
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,440
because it kind of ties in,
right?

792
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,280
As as I studied the law of
obedience more, the, the thing I

793
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:10,920
noticed is that like, wow, it's
got some serious implications as

794
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:14,440
we're leading in our homes.
I think that's something that

795
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:18,760
that we have to be on the
lookout for constantly.

796
00:51:18,760 --> 00:51:22,760
Is am I leading or am I managing
right?

797
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:25,320
I think there is a huge
difference there.

798
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:29,560
You want to take a crack at what
you think the difference is

799
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:34,400
between leading and managing.
I think leading would be like a

800
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:37,040
working along with your team and
managing is just just making

801
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,480
sure they're doing what they're
supposed to do without without

802
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,720
you actually helping.
At least that's my experience.

803
00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:44,400
You know, I've had bad managers
too.

804
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,080
And like Marilyn said, the best
managers are those that help you

805
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:49,960
want to work with you and want
to build the team up.

806
00:51:50,720 --> 00:51:54,240
You know a husband should help
his wife in the kitchen, cook

807
00:51:54,240 --> 00:51:56,880
for her or help her cook, you
know?

808
00:51:57,000 --> 00:52:00,640
Well, let's let's slow down on
that just a bit.

809
00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:03,560
I mean, I love my wives and I
would never submit them to my

810
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,680
cooking unless it's on an open
grill, right?

811
00:52:06,680 --> 00:52:11,760
Unless it's on, unless it's on a
a fire or something because I

812
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:15,000
burn water if I try to boil it.
So I mean, well, there's,

813
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:17,480
there's some limits there.
Let's let's slow that roll a

814
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,360
little bit.
So well.

815
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:26,600
What do you think about?
There's this famous meme or

816
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:30,560
picture or whatever of like
there's a person sitting on like

817
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:36,480
a box and the manager is sitting
on the box pointing for the the

818
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:39,200
people that are pulling the box,
like pointing pull it that

819
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:42,040
direction.
Whereas a leader is at the head

820
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,080
of the line pulling the box with
the team.

821
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:47,880
I don't know if you've seen that
picture, but I have, or if you

822
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,120
kind of picture what I'm
describing.

823
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:53,920
I have.
In business, it becomes very,

824
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:59,480
very, very a parent who's a
manager and who's a leader,

825
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:03,400
right?
A manager will always chase the

826
00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,480
numbers, always.
A leader usually doesn't have a

827
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:10,480
problem hitting those, right?
If he does, they're short lived,

828
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,560
right?
And that's because a leader kind

829
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:17,320
of inspires those around that
person right around the leader.

830
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:24,800
It would not work well, right,
If I was to be in my family and

831
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:26,840
be like, hey, do you girls read
your scriptures?

832
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,000
I'm not.
I'm just making sure you are

833
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:30,320
right.
That's not going to work.

834
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,720
Like what?
Same thing with, with family

835
00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:34,240
prayer, right?
You'll say your prayers.

836
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:37,840
Great.
It, it doesn't work that way,

837
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:41,760
right?
As as men, I think we have to

838
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:46,560
set the examples here.
Now I'm going to, I'm going to

839
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:50,080
ask another question.
And boy, I can already see the

840
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:53,040
feminist hate mail coming my way
on this one.

841
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:54,840
Do it.
Do it.

842
00:53:55,200 --> 00:54:02,080
I know, I know.
I do think that and look, I'll,

843
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:05,360
I'll just be really open and raw
here, right?

844
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:11,400
I'm not sure I would be the man
I am today without Amber

845
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:18,120
encouraging me to take the lead
in things, right?

846
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:24,560
And that I don't know how she
did it right 'cause I, I was

847
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,480
thinking like, if that was me,
I'd had a real tough time with

848
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:28,880
it.
But that's why she's way better

849
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:33,520
than I am.
But for you, Marilyn, what, what

850
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:37,560
does it look like to to
encourage your husband to lead?

851
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:50,200
How do you do that?
Well, I think in a good way,

852
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:52,800
helping them see where they are
failing.

853
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:58,200
No, I'm not saying be critical
and have negative critique.

854
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:03,040
Oh, you're not doing this and
not being naggy about it, but I

855
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:09,160
think sitting them down, having
a conversation of this is where

856
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:14,040
we and phrase it in a we format
instead of you.

857
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,280
This is where we can improve and
this is how can I help you help

858
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:23,600
me in a sense.
So I I think it's all about

859
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,280
being both, choosing to be
humble.

860
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,160
You have to be both.
Be humble in your relationship

861
00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:34,600
and understand that neither one
of us is going to succeed

862
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:38,760
without the other.
The man needs the woman, and the

863
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:41,800
woman needs the man.
Yep, we can't get where we want

864
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:48,200
to go without each other.
So I hope that answers your.

865
00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:53,080
Question.
Yeah, I think, I think as men,

866
00:55:53,080 --> 00:55:57,120
sometimes we, or at least I
struggled with this, right?

867
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,040
I'm a big guy.
I'm about 6, two.

868
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:00,760
I'm pretty broad shouldered,
right?

869
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:04,840
And for me, I never wanted to
look like the bully, right?

870
00:56:04,920 --> 00:56:07,600
That was always the thing I was
worried about the most.

871
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:12,040
And I I know as Amber and I had
this conversation after we'd

872
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:18,160
been married, probably a good
ten years, She had said, you

873
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:19,840
know what?
Why aren't you a little more

874
00:56:19,840 --> 00:56:23,680
bold than taking the lead?
And I told her exactly what my

875
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,040
fear was, right?
I did not want to look like the

876
00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,080
bully.
That wasn't something I was

877
00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:31,960
interested in looking like,
because I pride myself on not

878
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:37,760
being one, right?
And she had to like gently

879
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,320
correct me in that a little bit,
right?

880
00:56:40,320 --> 00:56:44,360
Like I know who you are.
The kids know who you are to the

881
00:56:44,360 --> 00:56:48,680
hell with everybody else, right?
And so it was, was this, this

882
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:53,200
thing where kind of when I knew
that she was comfortable with

883
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:58,280
who I really was and, and
whatnot, I could take that a

884
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:03,040
little more seriously and didn't
feel like it was me being a

885
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:05,360
bully, right?
I really did struggle with that.

886
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:10,440
I wanted to make sure that that
I never came across that way to

887
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:14,040
those who I loved the most.
And so for guys, I think it can

888
00:57:14,040 --> 00:57:18,040
be a tricky thing and and we do
need the encouragement of our

889
00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,800
wives to to ascend to those
places.

890
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:25,640
Let me ask you this.
How is your guys's and, and each

891
00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:28,960
of you take a crack at this?
How has your guys's marriage

892
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:32,240
been blessed by by living this
law and go.

893
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:39,160
First, sure.
Way to be assertive, Felipe.

894
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:49,960
I think it has brought us closer
in the sense that we realize

895
00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:54,960
we're A-Team team with a leader.
I guess you could say all teams

896
00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:57,640
have a coach.
All teams have like a, if you

897
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,920
look at football, you have the
quarterback kind of calling

898
00:57:59,920 --> 00:58:02,240
shots a little bit with the
coach behind him too.

899
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:07,200
So I guess you can kind of have
an analogy of God is kind of the

900
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:11,080
coach and the quarterback is the
husband and then all the players

901
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:13,720
are the wives.
I just thought of that.

902
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:23,640
OK, at this point I want to say
we're not saying that dudes need

903
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,360
10 wives, right?
Like I'm not, I'm not, I'm not

904
00:58:26,360 --> 00:58:28,720
saying that.
I'm not not saying that either.

905
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,280
Just whatever floats your boat,
you can manage.

906
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:34,080
It's on you.
But just know we're not saying

907
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:40,480
that there's a correct number.
Anyway, that's but you think

908
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,440
about the teams that succeed are
teams that communicate with each

909
00:58:43,440 --> 00:58:52,200
other and teams that that listen
to each other.

910
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,680
Communication and listening.
It's not just about talking to

911
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:57,120
each other, it's about listening
to each other.

912
00:58:57,440 --> 00:59:03,240
And so I think this living this
principle of obedience,

913
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:08,880
especially for me with
encouraging Felipe in the sense

914
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:13,320
of how can he be better in
following the laws of God and at

915
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,920
the same time him giving me
suggestions on how I can be

916
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:22,520
better as well.
I think it has really helped our

917
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:25,240
marriage grow closer in a
spiritual sense of knowing that

918
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:29,960
Christ is our head and that we
are following the the Lord and

919
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:32,520
Heavenly Father.
And that sounds like, if that

920
00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:34,280
makes sense.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

921
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,920
You know, the, the football
analogy is actually a good one.

922
00:59:38,600 --> 00:59:43,120
And I'm, I'm going to tell
again, let let me explain.

923
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:49,040
I was, I was taking a flight
from the East Coast to Denver.

924
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:55,840
I had to go out there for a
project And I sat down on the

925
00:59:55,840 --> 01:00:01,360
plane and I looked to my right
and there was, it's a name

926
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:05,400
everybody would recognize if
they knew the NFL even a little

927
01:00:05,400 --> 01:00:06,680
bit.
It was a Hall of Fame

928
01:00:06,680 --> 01:00:09,600
quarterback.
And I'm like, oh, hold it

929
01:00:09,600 --> 01:00:11,440
together.
Don't be that dude, right?

930
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,120
Just sit here and be cool,
right?

931
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,720
So I'm just like being really
nonchalant and just kind of, you

932
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:21,200
know, doing my thing, you know,
scrolling on my phone, playing a

933
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:24,280
little game.
And finally he takes the

934
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:27,000
earphones out and he's like,
man, I appreciate you not

935
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,960
harassing me with questions and
that sort of thing.

936
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,280
I'm like, look, I'm not going to
lie, I thought about it, but I

937
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,520
didn't want to.
It looked like you were in the

938
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:36,120
middle of something.
He's like, no, he's like, I'm

939
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:38,840
good now.
And we start talking and he's

940
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:40,120
like, you know, where you flying
to?

941
01:00:40,120 --> 01:00:41,760
What do you do?
And we start talking.

942
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:45,800
Really personable guy.
And then I asked him, I was

943
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,480
like, can I ask you one
question?

944
01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:50,280
Because by now he's been retired
for quite a few years.

945
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:53,640
I said, what do you miss most
about playing?

946
01:00:54,880 --> 01:00:59,680
And he said, oh, you know,
everyone thinks it's the thrill

947
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:04,680
of the win or it's the, it's,
you know, really good games that

948
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:06,280
I've had, but that's not it at
all.

949
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,960
He said, what I miss is being
part of a team where everybody

950
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,680
was pulling in the same
direction.

951
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:19,520
That's what he missed the most.
He said he he got very specific.

952
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:22,680
When you're in the huddle and
maybe you're even down by three

953
01:01:22,680 --> 01:01:24,480
points, but the game's still in
reach.

954
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:28,520
And you look into the guys, into
the eyes of the P, the guys that

955
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:30,920
are around you and you realize
you're pulling in the same

956
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:32,720
direction and you're going to
get this done.

957
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,960
So what you brought up, I Mary
Lynn, I think actually has some

958
01:01:37,960 --> 01:01:40,440
very good practical application,
right?

959
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:47,440
When I hear and I know the type
of guy right, There's look,

960
01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:55,600
there's a number of reasons why
marriages struggle and it's not

961
01:01:55,600 --> 01:02:01,640
a one-size-fits-all thing.
But I have seen a pattern emerge

962
01:02:01,640 --> 01:02:05,800
with certain types of guys,
right where they will constantly

963
01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:08,720
complain about how tough their
life is as being the head of

964
01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:12,920
their household.
And it's caused me to wonder

965
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,600
from time to time are, is
everyone pulling in the right

966
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:19,120
direction?
Have you set the goals for the

967
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:21,240
family?
Have you sat down with your wife

968
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:24,480
and talked about what it is you
want to get done and what kind

969
01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:28,000
of family you want to have?
Because to me, it feels like

970
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:32,280
sometimes they're pulling in
opposite directions, and so

971
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:36,200
there has to be some unity
gained in that.

972
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:40,320
So Felipe, do you want to take a
crack at that question about how

973
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,440
that this law has blessed your
guys's marriage?

974
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:46,160
Feel like that's.
Where I can put this?

975
01:02:46,240 --> 01:02:49,680
I was able to get a wife,
Maryland, you know, she wasn't

976
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:52,120
going to marry me unless I was
going to obey the laws of God.

977
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,680
She was only going to marry me
unless it was in the temple.

978
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:58,800
Yeah.
I mean, she worked it better

979
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:02,200
than I could.
Yeah, yeah, it's our marriage

980
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,120
has not been no marriage is
perfect.

981
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:07,480
We struggle like everybody else.
But one of the keys is

982
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:09,960
communication.
You got, you got to have that

983
01:03:09,960 --> 01:03:11,480
communication with your
significant other.

984
01:03:11,480 --> 01:03:16,120
You got to share your concerns
with each other because.

985
01:03:17,080 --> 01:03:18,480
Forgive each.
Other forgive each other.

986
01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:21,880
For the harms you guys may have
given each other like it's I

987
01:03:21,880 --> 01:03:26,160
guess forgiven is not easy, but
it's rewarding when you decide

988
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:29,560
to look forward to the future.
Look ahead.

989
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,960
Don't look in the pass, you
know.

990
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:37,760
Forgiveness is huge, right?
And, and again, we, we talked

991
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,280
about a little bit, it's, it's,
it's a commandment to be

992
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:46,400
obedient to, to forgive, right?
I'll, I've never shared this on

993
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:49,240
the podcast and I might get in
trouble later, but here we go.

994
01:03:52,080 --> 01:03:56,200
When Amber and I first got
married, we were both young.

995
01:03:56,200 --> 01:04:02,360
I was, I was 18, she was 19.
I mean, we were young and I

996
01:04:02,360 --> 01:04:06,320
remember I was just starting
college and I was also, I was

997
01:04:06,320 --> 01:04:12,240
carrying 15 credits and I was
also working full time, right?

998
01:04:12,240 --> 01:04:14,200
So I wasn't home a whole lot,
right?

999
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:19,080
And when I was home, I was
pretty tired but managed to get

1000
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:22,160
through.
But she'd never lived away from

1001
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:29,040
her mom either, right?
And it was, it was kind of, it

1002
01:04:29,040 --> 01:04:32,160
wasn't your typical first year
of marriage, I think, right,

1003
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:36,400
because there was nothing was
really stable as far as, you

1004
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:39,120
know, the income or anything
else we were just struggling

1005
01:04:39,120 --> 01:04:44,080
through.
And so it's one thing to Court

1006
01:04:44,200 --> 01:04:46,600
One another and kind of get a
feel for each other.

1007
01:04:46,600 --> 01:04:48,800
It's another thing to all of a
sudden be thrown into an

1008
01:04:48,800 --> 01:04:52,640
apartment together.
And I remember I, I got home one

1009
01:04:52,640 --> 01:04:55,840
day and she was crying and I'm
like, honey, what's wrong?

1010
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:57,680
And she's like, nothing,
nothing, nothing's wrong.

1011
01:04:57,680 --> 01:04:59,440
And I was like, well, come on,
you're crying.

1012
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,960
You're obviously upset.
And she goes, I'm upset about

1013
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:06,760
the laundry I have to do and I'm
upset about the, the, the

1014
01:05:06,760 --> 01:05:09,280
cleaning I have to do.
And I'm upset about the cooking

1015
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,000
I have to do.
And I was really trying to make

1016
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:13,640
her laugh.
And I said, well, honey, I'm a

1017
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:15,240
little upset about the cooking
too.

1018
01:05:17,760 --> 01:05:21,200
And she stopped crying just long
enough to stare me in the eyes.

1019
01:05:21,800 --> 01:05:23,680
And I thought for sure I was a
dead man.

1020
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:29,720
And but you know, it taught me
forgiveness, right?

1021
01:05:30,040 --> 01:05:32,040
You know, she, she forgave me
for that.

1022
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:33,520
And that allowed us to go
through.

1023
01:05:33,520 --> 01:05:39,080
But I think forgiveness is huge
because forgiveness, look, we're

1024
01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:40,920
humans.
We all come with a certain

1025
01:05:40,920 --> 01:05:43,280
amount of baggage, right?
I don't care how good your

1026
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:47,120
upbringing was.
I don't care, you know, how easy

1027
01:05:47,120 --> 01:05:50,120
you had as a kid.
We all come with baggage, right?

1028
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:55,720
And we have to have that level
of forgiveness to, to deal with

1029
01:05:55,720 --> 01:05:58,960
that baggage, right?
And then I think also have a

1030
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,360
recognition that, hey, I got
some baggage of my own.

1031
01:06:01,360 --> 01:06:05,800
So I think forgiveness is huge.
I think at the end of the day,

1032
01:06:06,040 --> 01:06:11,160
this law that we're given in the
temple is really all about

1033
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:16,400
unity, right?
I think that's the end goal here

1034
01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:23,240
is to become unified to each
other and to God.

1035
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:29,080
Like I said, there's many
reasons on why we're obedient to

1036
01:06:29,080 --> 01:06:33,960
keep commandments, fear, it's
just what we're supposed to do.

1037
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:37,840
But at the end of the day, I
think what it is, is it's a

1038
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,920
surrendering of our will to God,
right?

1039
01:06:42,280 --> 01:06:47,440
And if you have a husband that's
surrendering his will to God and

1040
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:51,640
a wife who's doing the same
through this covenant, I think

1041
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:54,760
that unity can be achieved.
Let me let me rephrase that.

1042
01:06:54,760 --> 01:06:56,800
I know that unity can be
achieved.

1043
01:06:58,760 --> 01:07:01,840
I wouldn't be able to do half
the things I do without my

1044
01:07:01,840 --> 01:07:06,160
wife's being united with me on
these things, right?

1045
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:11,160
This podcast is a time drain,
but every time I got to go do

1046
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,640
it, the girls never give me a
bit of guff because they

1047
01:07:14,640 --> 01:07:17,240
understand it's just what I got
to do, right?

1048
01:07:17,240 --> 01:07:21,920
And so we work around things.
How can unity be better achieved

1049
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:23,080
in marriages?
You think it?

1050
01:07:24,880 --> 01:07:28,040
Helps build the family better.
You know, the family is one of

1051
01:07:28,040 --> 01:07:31,840
our sources of happiness.
That's that should be our first

1052
01:07:31,840 --> 01:07:33,920
place where we go to find
happiness and comfort is our

1053
01:07:33,920 --> 01:07:36,400
family.
You know, families in United,

1054
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:38,680
you're going to have a
dysfunction.

1055
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:40,800
You may have a dysfunctioning
life.

1056
01:07:41,360 --> 01:07:45,000
Like my family wasn't perfect.
We tried our best Sometimes.

1057
01:07:45,000 --> 01:07:48,320
I found happiness right there.
I find happiness with my wife.

1058
01:07:48,920 --> 01:07:51,400
We're United on most parts.
We have our disagreements.

1059
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:52,960
That's OK.
You're going to have

1060
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:57,040
disagreements with your wife,
but unite.

1061
01:07:57,040 --> 01:07:59,840
If we weren't united, either our
marriage would would have fallen

1062
01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:02,880
apart or we would be in a very
toxic relationship where we

1063
01:08:02,880 --> 01:08:04,720
can't stand each other or only
there.

1064
01:08:05,200 --> 01:08:08,080
We're only together because it's
economically convenient.

1065
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:12,040
That's a bad way to look at it.
You know, we're united because

1066
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:14,240
we love each other.
We love our Heavenly Father.

1067
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:18,520
We both love the the gospel.
We love going to church when we

1068
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:21,760
can.
And it's very healthy when you

1069
01:08:21,760 --> 01:08:24,200
have someone to support you,
when you have somebody who's

1070
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:27,279
there to be your partner, your
team, it's very helpful.

1071
01:08:27,279 --> 01:08:29,160
It's very, it's a beautiful
thing.

1072
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:31,960
It's it can help you both
mentally and spiritually.

1073
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,240
You know, I go to my wife for
advice.

1074
01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:36,560
She was a sister missionary.
So I always assume she'll may

1075
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:38,920
know, she may know the
scriptures more than I do.

1076
01:08:39,920 --> 01:08:45,120
And she's having correct.
But unity is important because

1077
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:47,640
we're, when we get sealed,
you're not, you're knighted with

1078
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:49,279
your spouse, you're united with
your family.

1079
01:08:49,560 --> 01:08:51,840
You're uniting yourself with our
Heavenly Parents.

1080
01:08:56,760 --> 01:09:02,120
Anything to to raise to to help
marriage be more unified, to

1081
01:09:02,120 --> 01:09:06,880
have more unity in your
relationship goes back to

1082
01:09:08,960 --> 01:09:17,399
humility and communication.
When I was in college, I went to

1083
01:09:17,399 --> 01:09:23,160
BYO Idaho and I took a class on
the like the foundations of

1084
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:24,760
communication or something like
that.

1085
01:09:25,319 --> 01:09:29,560
And I remember hearing our, our
teacher shared a statistic with

1086
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:32,720
us or a bit, whatever you want
to call it.

1087
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:38,120
And he said the number one
factor that contributes to

1088
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:41,920
marital success.
So not like marital failure, but

1089
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:46,319
contributes to marital success
is the compatibility of conflict

1090
01:09:46,319 --> 01:09:49,720
resolution or compatibility of
conflict styles.

1091
01:09:50,439 --> 01:09:55,720
Basically, how how do you solve
conflicts together?

1092
01:09:56,680 --> 01:10:01,240
And so, you know, I always tell
people if they're like in a

1093
01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:05,320
relationship before you even are
super committed to marriage or

1094
01:10:05,320 --> 01:10:07,360
anything like that, make sure
you have a couple arguments.

1095
01:10:08,880 --> 01:10:11,760
Make sure you have a couple
disagreements because you need

1096
01:10:11,760 --> 01:10:17,720
to figure out if you guys can
solve problems together that I

1097
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,560
think and I'm not saying that
you're going to you're going to

1098
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,520
have like I'm not suggesting
that you have conflicts all the

1099
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:27,360
time.
What I'm suggesting is figure

1100
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:29,360
out if you can solve things
together 'cause you're going to

1101
01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:34,840
have disagreements, you're going
to have things that you may not

1102
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:38,440
be unified on, but when you sit
and communicate with them and

1103
01:10:38,440 --> 01:10:43,000
you compromise is big too.
When you communicate and

1104
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:47,000
compromise and strive, like you
said, be pulling in the same

1105
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:51,520
direction with the football
team, I think that's where unity

1106
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:55,080
comes the most.
Become stronger is when you

1107
01:10:55,080 --> 01:10:59,240
realize you have your goals, you
realize you're striving for the

1108
01:10:59,240 --> 01:11:02,320
same thing and you communicate
on how can we improve that

1109
01:11:02,320 --> 01:11:05,560
together?
Communication and humility.

1110
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:12,440
Yeah, I think so.
I think the other thing I'll say

1111
01:11:12,440 --> 01:11:17,680
is that for us, we, we here in,
in, you know, with Amber and

1112
01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:22,160
Tanya, the way we achieve unity
the most is we just go to God,

1113
01:11:22,400 --> 01:11:26,160
right?
We'll just put things kind of on

1114
01:11:26,160 --> 01:11:29,920
the altar, so to speak, and be
like, whatever it is you want,

1115
01:11:29,920 --> 01:11:31,160
right?
We'll do that.

1116
01:11:31,200 --> 01:11:33,840
Because if I try doing it
myself, I'm going to screw it

1117
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:38,240
up.
And that that has always helped

1118
01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:41,720
a lot, right.
I'll give you an example of

1119
01:11:41,720 --> 01:11:45,880
this.
When when we first when we first

1120
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:50,440
decided we were going to move to
Missouri, I was like, let's give

1121
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:53,640
it a year.
Let's just let everything settle

1122
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:56,200
down.
And then that'll give us some

1123
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:59,360
time to plan, really get a good
plan together to move the whole

1124
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:06,120
ball of wax.
Excuse me now I knew the girls

1125
01:12:06,120 --> 01:12:11,040
were feeling something
different, but I I'm a guy who

1126
01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:12,840
likes to have a plan in place,
right?

1127
01:12:12,840 --> 01:12:15,720
And then I always know the plans
getting changed, but I want

1128
01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:20,800
something to start from.
And I remember I was just

1129
01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:25,960
finishing up a podcast one night
and both the girls came and

1130
01:12:25,960 --> 01:12:28,960
knocked on the door together.
When when they heard like they

1131
01:12:28,960 --> 01:12:31,320
must have been listening because
as soon as I said, all right,

1132
01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:36,280
thanks everybody.
And then hit end, they were

1133
01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:39,680
knocking on the door.
And I remember they came in and

1134
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:42,680
they were both crying.
And my first thought was, well,

1135
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:45,000
it's going to be a lonely night
on the couch because I've really

1136
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:48,800
screwed up now.
But they came in and they just

1137
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:51,280
kind of sat down.
They just said, look, we really

1138
01:12:51,280 --> 01:12:53,600
feel like we should be moving
sooner than a year.

1139
01:12:54,800 --> 01:12:57,680
And I remember at first I
bristled right?

1140
01:12:57,680 --> 01:13:01,120
I didn't bristle at them, but I
bristled internally, right,

1141
01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:02,600
because I felt like, no, we
can't.

1142
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:05,080
We got to get this, get a plan
together.

1143
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:10,360
We got to do these things.
But I remember I just had this

1144
01:13:10,360 --> 01:13:13,840
feeling like, don't you just
pray about it again with them?

1145
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:16,800
You know, why don't you just
pray again about it?

1146
01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:22,000
So I said, tell you what, that
was on a Saturday morning.

1147
01:13:22,000 --> 01:13:24,200
I was like, why don't we fast
the rest of the day?

1148
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:28,600
And then tomorrow morning we'll
wake up and we'll say a prayer

1149
01:13:28,920 --> 01:13:34,400
and we'll figure this out.
And when I did that and we came

1150
01:13:34,400 --> 01:13:37,280
back, I discovered the girls
were right.

1151
01:13:37,920 --> 01:13:41,520
Right.
And so once I committed to, OK,

1152
01:13:42,120 --> 01:13:46,000
I'll move as soon as I can, as
soon as the Lord blesses me with

1153
01:13:46,000 --> 01:13:51,120
what I need in order to move,
Like literally 3 weeks later,

1154
01:13:51,120 --> 01:13:54,080
everything fell into place.
Just boom, boom, boom, boom,

1155
01:13:54,120 --> 01:13:58,160
boom, right?
But we weren't united and we

1156
01:13:58,160 --> 01:14:01,600
were kind of stuck for a minute
right as we were trying to

1157
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:04,480
figure out what it is.
Well, we knew what we were

1158
01:14:04,480 --> 01:14:07,320
supposed to do, but how we were
supposed to do it, right.

1159
01:14:08,120 --> 01:14:13,080
And again, me being kind of
dense, I was like, Oh no, the

1160
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:15,640
Lord wants us to move out there,
but he didn't say when.

1161
01:14:15,640 --> 01:14:17,920
So I can just, you know, take my
time here.

1162
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:20,680
Well, that's not what he had in
mind, right.

1163
01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:24,640
And so I really did.
I, I was a bonehead.

1164
01:14:24,640 --> 01:14:28,320
I did not listen to the girls as
much as I should have and, and

1165
01:14:28,320 --> 01:14:32,240
considered those things And, and
to be honest, I, I felt a little

1166
01:14:32,240 --> 01:14:34,680
chastised from, from the Lord
after that.

1167
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,720
But often I think, man, if, if,
if we want to be unified as

1168
01:14:38,720 --> 01:14:42,240
families, I think we have to, I
don't think I know we've got to

1169
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:45,840
involve God in that equation,
right, To pray about those

1170
01:14:45,840 --> 01:14:51,880
things together.
Because it's one thing if you 2

1171
01:14:51,880 --> 01:14:53,480
are going to ask something of
each other.

1172
01:14:53,480 --> 01:14:56,960
It's another thing, if God asked
the two of you together to do

1173
01:14:56,960 --> 01:15:01,600
something right, then all the
sudden you're not following your

1174
01:15:01,600 --> 01:15:04,000
own dictates, you're following
the dictates of God.

1175
01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:08,080
And if you can both pull in that
direction, I feel like that's

1176
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:10,000
where magic really starts to
happen.

1177
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:17,120
I I like that you brought that
up because for those that have

1178
01:15:17,120 --> 01:15:20,400
been to the temple and and been
sealed, they know that Christ is

1179
01:15:20,400 --> 01:15:26,680
the center of the ceiling.
And when you put our Heavenly

1180
01:15:26,680 --> 01:15:30,600
Father and Christ in the in as a
like, think about a triangle,

1181
01:15:31,160 --> 01:15:34,520
you got the, the wife on one
corner and the husband on the

1182
01:15:34,520 --> 01:15:37,880
other corner and God at the top.
When you guys, when there's a

1183
01:15:37,960 --> 01:15:41,800
three-way relationship with
Heavenly Father and Christ in

1184
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:45,240
the middle of it, there's a lot
more success.

1185
01:15:45,960 --> 01:15:49,160
Yeah, and that would work if
it's a Polygon too, if they're

1186
01:15:49,160 --> 01:15:51,680
polygamists.
Yeah, it may have.

1187
01:15:51,680 --> 01:15:55,480
To be a square or an Octagon or
whatever, but it'll work.

1188
01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:57,600
It'll still be structurally
sound.

1189
01:15:57,600 --> 01:16:01,520
Yeah, exactly.
No, I, I do, I think.

1190
01:16:02,720 --> 01:16:05,360
And it taught me, it taught me a
good lesson, right?

1191
01:16:05,360 --> 01:16:07,760
Which is just strive for unity,
right?

1192
01:16:08,080 --> 01:16:11,000
You strive for that unity around
good principles, right?

1193
01:16:11,000 --> 01:16:13,280
Let's get that straight.
Being unified around crappy

1194
01:16:13,280 --> 01:16:15,320
principles will produce a crappy
result.

1195
01:16:16,480 --> 01:16:20,160
And so being unified around good
principles, I think can only

1196
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:23,680
stand to to help foster the
family and whatnot.

1197
01:16:24,920 --> 01:16:30,800
So, you know, the other thing
is, is that as, as you have kids

1198
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:34,520
and you go through that part of
things, they'll see that example

1199
01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:39,800
of obedience, right?
And that will also set, I

1200
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:44,120
believe from my experience, a
good foundation for those

1201
01:16:44,120 --> 01:16:46,680
children as well, right.
It's going to add stability to

1202
01:16:46,680 --> 01:16:49,360
places and in in the home and
that sort of thing.

1203
01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:52,680
So but.
Well, and it's, it's all of the

1204
01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:56,720
God's.
The gospel is all about the

1205
01:16:56,720 --> 01:17:02,240
family and the world is trying
to break down and Satan is and

1206
01:17:02,440 --> 01:17:05,000
is trying to break down the
family in so many ways.

1207
01:17:07,040 --> 01:17:10,080
I'm not gonna get into
specifics, but there's if you

1208
01:17:10,080 --> 01:17:12,680
just look around you.
You absolutely feel free.

1209
01:17:14,520 --> 01:17:18,000
Just look, do I mean just look
around you like Mayor, the the

1210
01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:20,680
institution of marriage has been
breaking broken down.

1211
01:17:21,680 --> 01:17:27,400
The gender is being questioned.
People don't know who they are

1212
01:17:27,400 --> 01:17:29,440
anymore, like those kind of
things.

1213
01:17:29,440 --> 01:17:34,080
And it's all to break down the
family to, to make it so it's

1214
01:17:34,080 --> 01:17:38,040
not the, the family unit that
God has established of a man and

1215
01:17:38,040 --> 01:17:43,840
a wife or a wife, wife, wife,
wife, wife and, and children.

1216
01:17:45,200 --> 01:17:49,240
The that is the, the God's
family.

1217
01:17:49,320 --> 01:17:51,800
And there's so many things out
in the world that are trying to

1218
01:17:51,800 --> 01:17:55,840
break that down.
Absolutely, absolutely.

1219
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:57,920
And, and, you know, we, we've
seen it, right?

1220
01:17:57,920 --> 01:18:01,960
Like, I don't think it's a
mistake that gender gets

1221
01:18:01,960 --> 01:18:06,400
confused, right?
I do believe that there are in

1222
01:18:06,600 --> 01:18:09,840
I, I, I am a guy who believes
that men and women are different

1223
01:18:09,840 --> 01:18:12,080
and that's good, that's a good
thing.

1224
01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:16,280
But when those roles get mixed
up, I think there's problems.

1225
01:18:16,880 --> 01:18:22,040
I think that it it it naturally
ends up leading into some

1226
01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:28,240
unhealthy habits And and I think
that's evidence now, but all

1227
01:18:28,240 --> 01:18:30,600
right.
Anything else you wanted to

1228
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:33,800
cover that we didn't?
Yeah, I I wanted to bring up

1229
01:18:33,840 --> 01:18:36,400
something that touched my heart
when I was preparing for this,

1230
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:44,440
too, and that's Emma Smith and
her support of Joseph and DNC 25

1231
01:18:44,440 --> 01:18:49,960
is the revelation given through
Joseph to her and telling her.

1232
01:18:49,960 --> 01:18:52,960
I think early on is when he
tells, and early on the chapter

1233
01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:54,480
is when he tells her she's an
elected lady.

1234
01:18:55,320 --> 01:18:57,960
Yeah, in verse 3.
But I wanted to kind of skip

1235
01:18:57,960 --> 01:19:04,040
ahead to verses like 12/13/12
through 15.

1236
01:19:05,760 --> 01:19:09,520
It's so DNC 25, verse 12 says,
for my soul delighteth in the

1237
01:19:09,520 --> 01:19:12,320
song of the heart.
Yeah, the song of the righteous.

1238
01:19:13,720 --> 01:19:15,880
So we were talking about
righteous principles there.

1239
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,960
So the song of the righteous is
a prayer unto me.

1240
01:19:18,960 --> 01:19:21,960
And it shall be answered with a
blessing upon their head.

1241
01:19:22,520 --> 01:19:26,360
Wherefore lift up thy heart, and
rejoice and cleave.

1242
01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:29,360
I love that word.
Cleave unto the covenants which

1243
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:31,600
thou hast made.
Continue in the spirit of

1244
01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:35,480
meekness and beware of pride.
There comes the pride again.

1245
01:19:35,840 --> 01:19:39,760
Let thy soul delight in thy
husband and the glory which

1246
01:19:39,760 --> 01:19:44,400
shall come upon him.
I read verse 15 in a second.

1247
01:19:44,480 --> 01:19:48,560
But the the part that it's the
just thinking about the glory

1248
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:52,160
that's going to come upon the
husband, the wife delights in

1249
01:19:52,160 --> 01:19:55,800
that and supports him.
And so this is talking to Emma

1250
01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:59,720
specifically and but we can
apply it to ourselves as well,

1251
01:20:04,440 --> 01:20:07,320
humbling ourselves and and
casting out that pride and

1252
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:10,960
understanding that our husband
is going to be so glorious and

1253
01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:12,600
we're going to be the companion
at his side.

1254
01:20:14,640 --> 01:20:17,280
Verse 15 says keep my
commandments continually,

1255
01:20:17,560 --> 01:20:21,880
continually on a crown.
Of righteousness thou shalt

1256
01:20:21,880 --> 01:20:26,840
receive.
And so it was just such a

1257
01:20:26,840 --> 01:20:33,760
beautiful scripture of to Emma
Smith about cleaving to her

1258
01:20:33,760 --> 01:20:38,600
covenants honoring her husband
and she will be blessed with the

1259
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:43,600
crown of righteousness.
That's a queenly image.

1260
01:20:43,960 --> 01:20:48,040
And you think about a king.
He always has a queen by his

1261
01:20:48,040 --> 01:20:59,160
side most of the time and
together they guide those that

1262
01:21:00,280 --> 01:21:03,480
follow them.
And I don't know, I just, it

1263
01:21:03,480 --> 01:21:07,560
just really touched my heart to
think about the beauty of the

1264
01:21:07,560 --> 01:21:10,920
glory of the husband with the
wife by his side so.

1265
01:21:12,200 --> 01:21:14,400
That's awesome.
I I think.

1266
01:21:15,040 --> 01:21:18,440
I think that glorification goes
both ways though, right?

1267
01:21:18,800 --> 01:21:21,880
Oh, that's true.
I, I can think of a lot of

1268
01:21:21,880 --> 01:21:26,560
scriptures where, where it talks
about, you know, the, the glory

1269
01:21:26,560 --> 01:21:32,880
of womanhood, right, and, and
the, the unique qualities that

1270
01:21:32,880 --> 01:21:37,320
womanhood brings to, to society
at large as well as to, to the

1271
01:21:37,320 --> 01:21:39,680
marriage.
Do you have something, Felipe?

1272
01:21:40,720 --> 01:21:44,400
Yeah, and it, I think men
should, men should take these

1273
01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:47,120
things serious.
You should treat your wives as a

1274
01:21:47,480 --> 01:21:51,760
not as a sacred object, but as
something sacred because our

1275
01:21:51,760 --> 01:21:53,440
wives are sacred.
Yep.

1276
01:21:54,360 --> 01:21:57,120
Like I depend on my wife for
emotional support too.

1277
01:21:57,440 --> 01:21:59,520
As much as I pretend I'm like a
big, I'm a man.

1278
01:21:59,520 --> 01:22:01,680
I, I'm OK.
I can do it whatever I want.

1279
01:22:02,040 --> 01:22:06,280
No, I depend on her because it's
healthy for me.

1280
01:22:06,280 --> 01:22:08,800
It helps me, You know, I ask her
for advice.

1281
01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:12,360
And I think it's sad that these
two marriage has been falling

1282
01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:14,520
apart, especially because you
have selfish men and women.

1283
01:22:15,760 --> 01:22:17,080
But I think then we could do
better.

1284
01:22:17,080 --> 01:22:21,280
We can be better people.
And to start a first spill of

1285
01:22:21,280 --> 01:22:23,600
relationship with Heavenly
Father, always ask him to pray

1286
01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:26,960
to him and be a good husband to
your wife.

1287
01:22:29,440 --> 01:22:31,360
It's not easy, but it's
rewarding.

1288
01:22:32,120 --> 01:22:34,800
Yeah.
So it's like I said, I'm going

1289
01:22:34,800 --> 01:22:36,800
to emphasize that it's not easy,
but it's very rewarding

1290
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:40,080
spiritually as well.
No, I'm lucky.

1291
01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:43,480
Like I'm very lucky because if
my wife wasn't supporting me, I

1292
01:22:43,480 --> 01:22:46,120
don't think I would have gotten
into studying the fullness of

1293
01:22:46,120 --> 01:22:49,400
the the fullness of the restored
gospel if she was hesitant.

1294
01:22:49,400 --> 01:22:51,640
But no, she supported me and she
trusted me.

1295
01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:57,640
Not every man can claim.
No, I remember when we were we

1296
01:22:57,640 --> 01:23:01,560
were first investigating
fundamentalism after we'd

1297
01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:05,720
already been living polygamy,
living in a plural marriage.

1298
01:23:06,680 --> 01:23:11,480
I remember I was trying to sort
all this stuff out, right, like

1299
01:23:11,760 --> 01:23:15,400
going back to like the very
nature of God once I started

1300
01:23:15,400 --> 01:23:21,520
reading the Adam God doctrine.
And I remember Amber came over

1301
01:23:21,520 --> 01:23:22,760
and she's like, what are you
looking at?

1302
01:23:22,760 --> 01:23:26,560
And I'm like, oh, more, more,
more Adam God stuff, more temple

1303
01:23:26,560 --> 01:23:31,520
changes, more whatever.
And she just goes, what are you

1304
01:23:31,520 --> 01:23:33,160
thinking?
And I'm like, I don't know yet.

1305
01:23:33,160 --> 01:23:34,520
I don't know what I'm thinking
yet.

1306
01:23:34,560 --> 01:23:37,040
And she goes, well, it's OK,
you'll make the right decision

1307
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:41,520
and I'll, I'll follow.
And I just remember going, Oh,

1308
01:23:41,520 --> 01:23:45,720
crap, right, Like, like I, I've
got to.

1309
01:23:46,040 --> 01:23:48,320
Not that she didn't help with
that study because she

1310
01:23:48,320 --> 01:23:52,760
absolutely did, but she
ultimately was like, well,

1311
01:23:52,760 --> 01:23:55,480
you'll, you'll make the right
decision and, and we'll know,

1312
01:23:55,880 --> 01:23:58,920
right?
And that was both comforting and

1313
01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:06,400
a little terrifying, right?
And I will say this a good, I

1314
01:24:06,400 --> 01:24:08,280
don't want to say an
overwhelming dose by any

1315
01:24:08,280 --> 01:24:12,520
stretch, but a little bit of of
hesitation, not even hesitation,

1316
01:24:12,520 --> 01:24:15,600
a little bit of respect and
maybe even a little bit of fear

1317
01:24:15,600 --> 01:24:18,840
of not leading somebody else
astray does wonders for your

1318
01:24:18,840 --> 01:24:22,160
decision making.
And so I think sometimes as

1319
01:24:22,160 --> 01:24:25,920
guys, we can be impetuous.
We can be like, there's a reason

1320
01:24:25,920 --> 01:24:29,080
we die young, right?
Because we do stupid crap,

1321
01:24:29,440 --> 01:24:31,840
right?
And so when, when you're all of

1322
01:24:31,840 --> 01:24:34,760
a sudden responsible for other
people, you do start to think

1323
01:24:34,760 --> 01:24:36,520
about things in a much different
way.

1324
01:24:37,080 --> 01:24:40,560
And then when when she just kind
of encouraged me to lead, in

1325
01:24:40,560 --> 01:24:44,080
that moment, I also got a boost
of confidence, right?

1326
01:24:44,080 --> 01:24:48,640
Like, OK, she sees something
here in me that I don't see.

1327
01:24:49,240 --> 01:24:52,520
And so if, if she can do that,
then I can get on my knees and

1328
01:24:52,520 --> 01:24:55,800
figure this out and then go back
to her and then we can work it

1329
01:24:55,800 --> 01:24:59,720
all out together.
But I, I guess in conclusion,

1330
01:24:59,720 --> 01:25:05,240
for me, I, I would just say this
and, and, and Marilyn, you can

1331
01:25:05,240 --> 01:25:10,560
correct me here if I'm wrong.
I don't think Gender's ever a

1332
01:25:10,560 --> 01:25:17,360
mistake and I don't think
Gender's ever a choice, right?

1333
01:25:17,360 --> 01:25:26,360
I think that we are born with
certain innate characteristics

1334
01:25:26,360 --> 01:25:34,040
that are both male, male and
feminine in their in their

1335
01:25:34,040 --> 01:25:38,760
attributes.
And those are beautiful things,

1336
01:25:38,960 --> 01:25:42,720
right?
They are and they complement one

1337
01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:46,760
another.
But I have found that as of late

1338
01:25:47,080 --> 01:25:49,920
and, and I've been down this
road for a little while, right?

1339
01:25:49,920 --> 01:25:53,240
Why is it as a society, we do
things the way we do?

1340
01:25:54,120 --> 01:25:57,680
We've, I think we've been trying
to, to get a, a square peg to

1341
01:25:57,680 --> 01:25:59,400
fit in a round hole and it's not
working.

1342
01:26:00,800 --> 01:26:03,120
And that's the cause of a lot of
our ills.

1343
01:26:03,120 --> 01:26:07,280
And I think it even goes right
down to our, to our family

1344
01:26:07,280 --> 01:26:10,160
structure, right?
I think we believe the lies a

1345
01:26:10,160 --> 01:26:13,240
little too long.
I think we've lived up to him

1346
01:26:13,720 --> 01:26:18,840
and I think that that it what
everybody's feeling is, you

1347
01:26:18,840 --> 01:26:24,040
know, a call back to sanity for
what lack of a better term to to

1348
01:26:24,040 --> 01:26:28,520
go back to the way God intended
us to be and and that includes

1349
01:26:28,520 --> 01:26:31,360
how we how we govern our own
families right.

1350
01:26:31,360 --> 01:26:37,760
And that's what I see in the law
of obedience a lot is, is just

1351
01:26:39,000 --> 01:26:44,800
doing kind of what's natural and
then learning to love that right

1352
01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:48,560
there is when you're no longer
fighting gender roles or any of

1353
01:26:48,560 --> 01:26:52,160
those other things, there's a
certain beauty and comfort that

1354
01:26:52,160 --> 01:26:56,560
just starts to flow naturally.
I think so.

1355
01:26:58,160 --> 01:27:00,200
I don't need to correct you, you
are 100% right on.

1356
01:27:01,400 --> 01:27:03,120
That anything else you guys want
to add?

1357
01:27:05,440 --> 01:27:09,320
Good.
I just, I just want to emphasize

1358
01:27:09,320 --> 01:27:12,760
again how much I love the, the
law of obedience and the, the

1359
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:19,000
beauty behind having a A-Team
and working together.

1360
01:27:19,400 --> 01:27:24,360
And when I just in 2019, when
that was changed, it was very

1361
01:27:24,800 --> 01:27:33,720
hard for me because it was
almost like the, the beauty of

1362
01:27:34,440 --> 01:27:38,560
connection was gone.
The the beauty of a team.

1363
01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,640
What I mean is the beauty of
being a team.

1364
01:27:41,240 --> 01:27:43,800
The wife making a covenant to
her husband and the husband

1365
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:47,720
following God.
It was like that that connection

1366
01:27:47,720 --> 01:27:49,600
was gone.
That really bugged you?

1367
01:27:50,520 --> 01:27:53,800
It bugged me a lot.
Interesting.

1368
01:27:53,800 --> 01:27:56,320
And I know, I know so many
people were so happy about it.

1369
01:27:56,840 --> 01:28:00,960
I wasn't.
I still, I'm, I'm grateful that

1370
01:28:00,960 --> 01:28:05,720
I've been able to experience the
endowment with again with that

1371
01:28:05,720 --> 01:28:10,400
in it because it's, it's just
such a beautiful covenant in

1372
01:28:10,400 --> 01:28:13,240
principle.
And it's just the, the, the

1373
01:28:13,240 --> 01:28:15,400
feeling of you're pulling in the
same direction.

1374
01:28:15,400 --> 01:28:16,800
Is that kind of what I'm picking
up?

1375
01:28:17,560 --> 01:28:20,040
You're, you're a team and I felt
like the team was taken away.

1376
01:28:20,680 --> 01:28:23,280
You're, you're, I don't know, it
just bugs me a lot so.

1377
01:28:23,720 --> 01:28:27,160
No, no, I, I agree.
Felipe, anything you want to add

1378
01:28:27,160 --> 01:28:29,840
before we wrap up?
No, I'm good right now.

1379
01:28:29,840 --> 01:28:32,360
Thank you.
All right guys, again, I

1380
01:28:32,360 --> 01:28:34,200
appreciate it.
Hang out for 5 minutes.

1381
01:28:35,120 --> 01:28:36,000
Sounds good.
Thank you.

1382
01:28:36,320 --> 01:28:37,400
All right.
Bye everybody.

1383
01:29:08,200 --> 01:29:11,000
You're listening to the Mormon
Renegade podcast.