Episode #117: Fighting The War Against the Adversary For The Souls Of Our Children W/Nate Richardson

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Throughout time, every murderous
dictator has always made sure

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that special attention was paid
to win the hearts and minds of

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the youth.
Now have the Red Guards.

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Stalin had the RKSM and Hitler
had his youth.

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Now let me ask you a question.
If all these dictators had a

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plan for kids, do you think the
adversary of us all might have a

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program dedicated to our youth?
If you're like me, the answer is

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a resounding yes.
Now, if you have any doubts

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about that, just look around at
how our children conduct

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themselves.
When we look objectively at

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this, I think it becomes clear
that we are in a war for our

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children against the adversary.
One of his best weapons in this

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war for our children is to
create the absence of parental

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guidance to our children.
Today, Nate Richardson comes on

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the podcast to discuss the
collapse of parenting.

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We go over what our children are
participating in, what they're

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exposed to, and how the
Adversary has taken parents out

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of their roles.
We finally wrap up.

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I'm telling you what we can do
as parents to pick our mantels

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back up again as fathers and
mothers to fight this war for

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the souls of our children.
That and more on this episode of

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the Mormon Renegade podcast.
Look, it's no secret that our

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society has become much more
crude and coarse.

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To become and raise men and
women of virtue and character is

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a Herculean task.
To help with this, I've recently

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wrote and published a book.
Now, back in the 1700s,

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Washington had a book called
Rules of Civility and Decent

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Behavior and Company and
Conversation.

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It was a book with 110 rules
that talked about how to conduct

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yourself like a civilized person
in society, something that

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today's society is sorely
lacking.

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What I did is I went back
through the book and I

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reinterpreted his original
sayings for the 21st century.

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So the book is laid out in a way
in which you see Washington's

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original rule.
Right below that is my

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explanation for the 21st
century, and below that you'll

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find two or three examples of
where to use this in the real

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world.
Now, to go along with this,

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there's a workbook that helps
parents teach these principles

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and practices to their kids.
To find the book, go to

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mormonrenegade.com, go to the
bottom of the page, search out

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the blog post, and order your
copy.

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Today I can bear personal
testimony from personal

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experience that this is an
invaluable tool to help you

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raise men and women of virtue
and character.

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The.
Listening to the Mormon Renegade

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Podcast Mr. Richardson, Back
Again.

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How's it Going?
Awesome.

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Thank you.
Nice.

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So dude, when you came and when
when we talked about this, the

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the collapse of parenting, I was
like, Oh yeah, I want to get on

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top of this one because, dude,
it's true, right?

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I mean, we look around at our
kids today.

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Like, I remember once I was
walking into the store with my

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wife here in Utah and I'd held
the door open for my wife and

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this kid just like cuts in,
right, right in front of her.

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And I like looking back, I
shouldn't have done it, 'cause

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I'm sure he was like 17 or 18,
tops.

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But I just kind of grabbed him
and I was like slow down son,

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right.
I was like, we let the lady go

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first, right?
And this was just something my

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dad instilled in me.
Like if I ever did not get the

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door to this day, I'm a big
believer that my dad would come

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back from the grave and grab me
with his great big mechanic

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hands and and give me the the
beating I deserved.

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So.
Well, that's a good reminder.

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I I think, I think that that
this is really sorely needed.

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Yeah, there's a fun story in one
of the Jordan Peterson books

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where he talks about this.
There's this kid on the

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playground who's just not
listening to, you know, the

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adults present and just being a
little rebel rouser and causing

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problems.
And he says, you know, it talks

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about how these parents, they'll
like, threaten their kids and

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then not do anything.
So then the kid learns like, Oh

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yeah, parents.
They say stuff and it doesn't

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mean anything.
We just, you know, parents and

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and they really learn to resent
adults.

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They resent authority and
eventually they're going to

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become an adult.
So they're going to wind up

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presenting themselves anyway, he
says.

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He took the kid and you know,
the kid steps on this other kids

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hand, you know, on purpose and
and and then the kid looks at

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the adult on the playground,
which was Peterson.

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And he sticks out his tongue
like, hey, what are you gonna do

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about it?
You know?

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So Peterson says I picked up
that kid and chucked him across

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the field.
Now he says he is he didn't

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really actually get to do that,
but he should have is what he

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said.
But yeah, the big point of

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Collapse of Parenting Books by
Doctor Leonard Sacks.

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It's about how the kids are
ruling the roost.

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The kids are not being treated
like kids.

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They're being treated like
adults.

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And that's the subtitle of the
book is How We Hurt Kids When We

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Treat Them Like Adults.
So yeah, I'd love to talk about

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that with you and and throw in
some some two cents here and

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there and some some LDS,
particularly LDS analysis on it.

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Let let me ask this question.
When when you say we don't treat

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our kids like kids but we treat
them like adults, let's break

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down the age gap here.
What ages are we talking where

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we we treat them like adults
instead of kids?

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Because to me, I feel like
sometimes we don't expect enough

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out of our kids, right?
Like, if you look at Washington,

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at 16, he's Fairfax County,
Virginia's county surveyor,

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right?
He's leading men into the

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wilderness.
Shouldn't shouldn't there be an

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age like I I'm not a huge
believer in this idea of of the

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teenage years, right?
I'm.

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I'm a big fan, especially when
it comes to young men of rites

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of passage, right?
Judaism has a beautiful one in a

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in a bar mitzvah, right is you
went from being a child to a

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man, albeit a young man who
still needed guidance.

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But now you're a man, you're
going to start acting like a

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man.
So where's the cut off age here?

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Yeah.
And those bar mitzvahs, I, as I

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recall, they're around age 12 or
13.

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So it's nice and young.
And then the Hispanics, they do

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their quinceaneras, you know,
the 15 and all that.

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So anyway, both cultures are are
pointing to a time in history

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where the age of adult was not
18.

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It was basically when nature
said you're an adult, which is

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puberty and puberty can change
based on a lot of things like

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actually your diet kid can.
I think kids today go through

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puberty at a little younger age
than historically.

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But yeah, so obviously we yeah,
the title of the book is

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actually a little misleading.
When I first saw that I was a

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little bit thrown off.
I was like, I don't, I don't

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really want a book that says
hamper kids like more than we

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already are.
Like what's this about?

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And I but I I've been through
the book several Times Now and

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it was really, yeah, he could
have picked a better subtitle.

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But what he means is don't let
your kids, for example, a kid

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who's going to school, sometimes
a parent will say, hey, you're

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going to be homeschooled because
we're your parents and we feel

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like that's what needs to
happen.

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Or hey, you're going to go to
this charter school, or hey,

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we're going to move to this
certain area because it's what

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we feel is best for the family.
A lot of parents now, the points

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out in the book, are letting the
kids make those decisions, when

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those are really more of adult
decisions.

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Gotcha That makes that makes
sense.

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I I do want to point you
something else out.

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And I just thought about this
and I feel like I have to say

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it, 'cause it's a, you know, I'm
a Mormon fundamentalist.

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When I say that kids should be
more responsible at age 15 and

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16, in no way am I making the
insinuation that kids should be

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getting married at 15 or 16.
Let's get that off the table.

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Now, I'm not a, I'm not a
proponent of that.

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That's not what I'm saying.
I'm just saying expect more of

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your kids when they are, you
know, 14/15/16, give them adult

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tasks.
But I'm not talking about

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marriage and starting a family,
so let's get that off the table.

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So.
Yeah, the kids I've you know,

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yeah, we want to keep all the
laws.

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We're United States citizens.
We like the our country and our

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our culture has done a bad job
of pampering young people to

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almost make it to where the kids
think there's a switch that gets

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flipped when you turn 18 to
where, oh, I wasn't responsible

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and now I am responsible.
And one of the points that he

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makes in Collapse of Parenting
is that there's not that magic

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flip of a switch at 18.
He says A big misconception is

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that if we let kids, if we, if
we.

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But I mean, obviously it's kind
of like government.

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It needs to be a happy medium.
Like we don't want tyranny and

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we don't want anarchy.
We want what's in the middle.

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And it's kind of the same with
parenting.

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Like we don't want to be like,
yeah, do whatever you want, but

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we also don't want to be hey,
every detail of your life, I'm

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going to spell out for you.
Right.

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But there's there's this really
popular idea that if a parent is

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strict that the kid will grow
up, he'll slam through the doors

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at his 18th birthday and never
never see his parents face

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again.
And I'm just, I'm just going to

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go sow his wild oats and all
this.

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And this is what Doctor Sachs
says about this.

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He gives an example about how
there's this kid who all his

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other friends were playing all
these video games and he was

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like, hey, I want to do this
too.

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And let's let's be honest, video
games are not exactly high

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quality time and there's a lot
of problems with, with the

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gaming obsession anyway.
This parent had decided, you

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know, not that every parent has
to make this decision, but this

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parent decided we're not going
to do video games in my house.

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And the boy who thought, oh man,
when I'm 18, I'm going to go get

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these consoles and and just be
like all the other guys.

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And so he came around, he turned
18, he went out, he got the

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consoles and they actually ended
up just collecting dust.

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Because he learned when he was
young and impressionable that

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gaming is not reality and that,
excuse me, that reality is

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better than the game world.
So when all his friends kept on

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these video game that took up a
lot of their adult life as well,

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he was able to have real culture
and real social skills and

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things that are really
meaningful in life.

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A real job, you know, real
relationships.

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So the video games just
collected dust and he never used

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them, he just pawned them off.
Because when a kid is young,

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that's when they're the most
impressionable, That's when

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that's when they're, you know,
if he grows up playing a lot of

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video games as a small kid, he's
going to think, oh, video games

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are the world, they're awesome.
And for young girls, it's less

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gaming, it's more of the social
media and the the selfies and

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the texting, just the constant
and all that.

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So if we put on the proper
limits on our kids, they're

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going to they're going to be
more mature.

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Let me another thing that he
talks about is look at if you're

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trying to hire somebody for a
job, do you want the guy who has

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the track record of being a
reliable person who or do you

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want the person who is known for
like showing up late all the

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time, like dressing sloppy,
doing all these things.

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Obviously you're going to want
to hire the person with a good

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track record and it's the same
way of if you can get your kids

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to, to manage themselves, to act
well, to be neat and comely, to

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do all these responsible things
when they turn 18, they're gonna

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keep, they're gonna keep that
momentum going forward.

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And Elder Holland, actually one
of my favorite quotes, you know,

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anybody could have said it, it
would be amazing.

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But he said second only to your
love, your kids need your

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limits.
And that's that's big time

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missing right now, the limits.
You know, I I remember something

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my dad said once, and I'll never
forget this as long as I live

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and it stuck with me.
I remember that I used to

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verbally spar with my dad in
fun, right?

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But I knew there was a limit,
right?

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There were certain things that
were off the table, but other

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00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,680
than that he would let me, you
know, have fun with him and that

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sort of stuff.
And I now, my, my old man was

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raised, you know, up on up in
the Great Lakes.

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He was a great big guy.
I mean, he's probably 4 inches

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taller than I am now.
And he was just a big, big guy

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and raised very old school.
And I remember my uncle was over

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me and my dad had just kind of
verbally, you know, had fun with

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each other, you know, poked fun
at each other or whatever.

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And I remember I went to my
room, but my door was open.

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And I remember my uncle told my
dad, he said, hey, listen, you

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can't let your son do that to
you.

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He's like your son doesn't fear
you enough.

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And I remember my dad said
something very profound.

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He said, look, here's the thing,
I don't want my kids to fear me.

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I want them to respect me.
And I remember my uncle said,

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well, what's the difference?
And he said, if my kid is in

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trouble and he fears me, he
won't come to me.

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If he respects me, he'll come to
me and we can work it out.

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00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:50,160
And sometimes I think as
parents, we want to be liked too

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00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:54,600
much, right at the expense of
kids having respect for us.

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00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,640
Now certainly I, you know, you
can ask every kid that I ever

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00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,040
raised, they were way more scary
of their mom than they were of

247
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:07,640
me.
But there was a limit, right?

248
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:11,720
They knew what buttons were,
what things were off the table.

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And we have to set those limits
and we have to, you know, we

250
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:18,720
have to be able to say this is
acceptable.

251
00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:23,520
And this is not if we come from
a place of constantly trying to

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and and I've seen this where we
educate instead of discipline.

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Sometimes discipline is
warranted and sometimes

254
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:40,680
discipline is needed.
And education is great And and

255
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:43,360
I'm a big believer in talk to
your kids on why we do what it

256
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,240
is we do.
But when those rules are broken,

257
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,280
there has to be some sort of
discipline and consequence that

258
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:54,360
goes with it, or else there are
suggestions and not rules.

259
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,720
Yeah, there needs to be, you
know, the old saying is the

260
00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,400
white glove with the iron fist,
right?

261
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,160
Right.
You need to, you know, no needs

262
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,800
to actually mean something.
When you say no, it's like or

263
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,720
else what another story from the
book is.

264
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:17,200
There's this kid, he's buzzing
around in a classroom and the

265
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:18,480
teacher's like, you need to stop
that.

266
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,240
And he's like, yeah, he just
ignores and keeps doing it.

267
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,880
And finally the teacher says you
need to stop that or else.

268
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:28,040
And the kid says, or else what?
And excuse me, the the teacher

269
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,840
said, yeah, the teacher stopped
at or else he says or else what.

270
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,560
So now she's got his attention
there's the possibility to where

271
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:39,400
this teacher is actually going
to do something and she she says

272
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,280
stop or else I'll make you stop.
And so he goes on buzzing and he

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00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,600
wants to see what's going to
happen and she comes over to try

274
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,000
and get him to stop and he bites
her wrist drawing blood.

275
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:55,480
And Long story short is she goes
to the principal, she calls the

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00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:59,320
parent.
And the parent actually says,

277
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:04,440
oh, well, don't you know he has
a psychiatric diagnosis?

278
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,800
You should have called his
psychiatrist instead of calling

279
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:13,119
me about Possible.
Yeah, so so here's this lady and

280
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,400
she's totally transferring all
her parental authority over to a

281
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:21,680
psychiatrist, you know and the
the the academic leaders, the

282
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:25,160
principals they used to when a
kid was misbehaving in class.

283
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,760
Sachs points this out.
The principal used to call the

284
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,640
parent and say, hey, your kid is
out of control.

285
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,600
He needs to learn how to shape
up and and respect our rules

286
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:41,400
here and or he can't be here.
But nowadays, a parent will just

287
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:47,080
refer the kid to a psychiatrist
to get counseling and diagnosis.

288
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:52,280
Because it's easier to tell a
parent, hey, your kid has an

289
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:57,240
illness and he needs medicine
than to tell a parent you're not

290
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:59,640
training your kid right.
You know.

291
00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:08,320
Right, go ahead.
The I feel like COVID pointed

292
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,520
this out a whole bunch.
I feel like COVID really exposed

293
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:17,960
this.
I remember I heard a lot people

294
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:22,160
saying I don't know what to do
with my kids now they're not in

295
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:27,040
school.
That was a sad thing whenever I

296
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,560
heard it, Nate, because I'm
like, they're your kids.

297
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:36,680
You are uniquely qualified to to
be able to be with them and to

298
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,840
help them.
But somewhere along the line to

299
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:46,360
to go back to what you were
saying, we, we absolutely farmed

300
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:52,000
out our parental rights to the
quote the experts, whether

301
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,800
that's a teacher, whether that's
a psychiatrist, whatever the

302
00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:03,440
case is, we completely vacated
that spot as a parent in in

303
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,880
favor of a technocrat or some
sort of technician.

304
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:14,040
And the problem with that is, is
that whether you're a God guy

305
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:19,960
like you and I are, or whether
you're a a a a person who

306
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,560
believes even in evolution,
quite frankly, you're still

307
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,880
uniquely qualified to be your
kids as parents.

308
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:32,680
They are yours.
And and this idea of, well, it

309
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,840
takes a village to raise a kid,
No, no.

310
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,320
It takes you getting the hell
out of my living room and I'll

311
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:41,280
deal with it.
And and somehow we got to this

312
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,880
place where we just absolutely
vacated the role of parenting

313
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,080
and turned over the
responsibility of instilling

314
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:53,760
values and principles to a
school or a psychiatrist or

315
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,880
whatever the case is.
Yeah, it's really sad because

316
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,880
the community has encroached so
much.

317
00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,880
We we talked a little bit about
discipline and the author you

318
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:11,480
know Sax he at.
He says you know, you know

319
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:14,520
discipline doesn't always need
to mean, you know the the swat

320
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,480
or whatever.
But whatever you do discipline

321
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,760
does need to be happening.
And discipline comes in many

322
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,320
forms.
You know like it could be the

323
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,480
you know, the time out, the time
in the hey, this privilege is

324
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,160
revoked.
Hey we're going to have this

325
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,960
conversation and it's going to
be awkward for you or hey you

326
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,600
need to make this public apology
like the the list is endless of

327
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:39,360
what our strategies and and
tools are as parents but when it

328
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:43,520
comes to the the spanking which
I have mixed feelings on because

329
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,920
I don't like the idea but I do
feel like you need to have that

330
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:51,360
as a as a almost like an
emergency option for when the

331
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:52,560
kids not responding to other
stuff.

332
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:59,320
But I just want to point out the
this, the state now, the kids

333
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,680
are learning at the public
schools that that spanking is

334
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,760
abuse.
So.

335
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,920
And there's some places around
the world where it's not legal.

336
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:13,640
You know in the United States it
is, in Utah it is I there's a

337
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:18,200
basically the the law is, you
know you're not going to want to

338
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:21,480
be leaving marks on your kid.
You know you're not going to be

339
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,160
wanting to be excessive or
anything.

340
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:31,760
But but yeah, the the kids these
days, they don't believe their

341
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,160
parent has any authority.
It's always like, well you can't

342
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:41,360
do that or you know the it's so
this this author he gives

343
00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:45,440
lectures around the world and
he's he's a medical doctor and

344
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:53,440
he's a psychologist and he's
he's he, he's points out how in

345
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,200
America these problems are
particularly bad, how there's

346
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,880
this culture of disrespect.
In America he would go around

347
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,920
the world doing these lectures.
He was in Australia and he was

348
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:08,040
talking to educators and he says
now I'm sure you guys all have

349
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,680
the problem with your students
doing this and doing that during

350
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,160
your class and making this
confrontation.

351
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,240
And the Australian educators
were like, no, actually we don't

352
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:21,920
have those problems.
And what Sachs found out was

353
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,760
that America is particularly
diseased with disrespectful

354
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:31,000
kids.
It's in the classrooms it's in

355
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:37,000
the homes it's it's basically
the kids have found a way it's

356
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:42,000
it's almost like how in the in
the 60s and 70s the the the

357
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,080
liberals found their ways to
take over the universities.

358
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,960
Well the kids have now found
their ways to take over the

359
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:51,320
homes and the schools and the
everything is is you know in

360
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,640
1984 where the kids like just
turn in their parents for stuff

361
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,360
against the government.
Yeah like that's that's gosh

362
00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:00,920
it's terrifying.
I I.

363
00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,680
Oh, go ahead.
I'm just going to say a little

364
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:08,280
bit about my background.
I was a foster parent for eight

365
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,760
years.
I adopted a bunch of kids from

366
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,040
foster care.
I have some biological kids.

367
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:20,320
Most of my kids, I have 11 kids
and I have, they're all my

368
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:24,520
oldest is 15, so.
And we've had you know a handful

369
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:27,640
like 20 or something foster kids
that that came and went back to

370
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,360
their houses and all this.
So we.

371
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:37,560
But we've seen the even the
foster program is is like, you

372
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:41,280
know if a if a kid in your house
doesn't like you, they'll just

373
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,560
tell their caseworker Oh yeah.
You know, you know, either

374
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:48,480
exaggerate something or you know
foster parents frequently get

375
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:52,520
these these they're frequently
under investigation.

376
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,960
And I'm not saying there's not
bad foster parents who do need

377
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:59,320
to be investigated and and need
to be, you know, punished by the

378
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,440
law for for not respecting
children's rights.

379
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:11,560
But it's like, yeah, it's it's
pretty wild how much the the

380
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,640
state's in charge.
I I'm going to say something

381
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,960
here that's probably going to
piss a lot of people off, and I

382
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,760
want to apologize ahead of time.
But I see it being the truth,

383
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,320
and I know that you're an
educator as well, Nate and.

384
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,240
And so don't take this
personally because I'm not

385
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,640
talking about you specifically.
I'm not talking about anyone in

386
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,720
particular.
But the fact that the schools

387
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,880
are starting to complain about
this now, I find somewhat

388
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:43,360
laughable because they're kind
of responsible for this, right?

389
00:24:44,320 --> 00:24:51,640
My kid came home many times from
high school where they would

390
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,760
have recorded something during a
lecture where a teacher would

391
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:58,400
say, look, now a lot of your
parents, they're not gonna

392
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,800
believe in global warming.
You're way smarter than your

393
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,960
parents.
You're you need to, you know,

394
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,960
really take what they say with a
grain of salt and it would be

395
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,760
over other things too, right
where your parents are gonna

396
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:16,760
have this point of view.
But really, it's this, right?

397
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:23,040
So when you send a kid to school
for 8-9, sometimes 10 hours a

398
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:28,120
day, if they're in
extracurriculars and they get

399
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:33,360
messages of, hey, your parents,
you know, you're so much smarter

400
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,400
than your parents.
They're just stuck in the past.

401
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,400
They don't understand.
We we as your educators, we get

402
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,000
it.
Well, what the, what did you

403
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,680
think was going to happen,
right.

404
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:50,480
I mean you, you've undermined
the the, the linchpin of every

405
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:55,760
single fabric that holds a
society together.

406
00:25:56,320 --> 00:26:00,600
At at its base level, society is
a collection of individuals and

407
00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,320
families.
And when you start to mess with

408
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,960
that fabric, of course you're
going to see problems.

409
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:11,160
And a lot of these things that
we're seeing now, yes, the

410
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:17,160
parents were happy to vacate the
role of a parent, but the

411
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:21,120
educators in the state, I
believe, were more than willing

412
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,520
to instill the state's values
into those kids.

413
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:30,680
And a lot of those state's
values run contrary to what you

414
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,920
and I would consider traditional
family relationships.

415
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,160
And so the fact now that schools
are complaining about it, I got

416
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:38,280
no time.
You know what?

417
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:42,440
You helped create the problem.
You get to be part of you.

418
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,320
You get to lay in that bed as
well.

419
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,360
Yeah.
And and you know it's it's

420
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:52,040
bouncing back on educators too
I've yeah.

421
00:26:53,520 --> 00:27:00,560
The the problems in school you
know oh boy I I have kids.

422
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:05,720
Well I I worked at a most of my
teaching has been at a

423
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,840
residential where you know
basically troubled kids.

424
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:13,880
I you know but you know the be
there or even just the public

425
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,800
school the kids will tell the
teacher to shut up or this and

426
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:19,680
that.
And the message that we're you

427
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:24,000
know another thing is in America
we we often like glorify youth.

428
00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,880
We got all these billboards all
over the place of how to stay

429
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:31,480
young and we're just basically
worship youth and what we've

430
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:37,120
traded it for is wisdom and so
we don't respect our elders here

431
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,800
in America.
It's it's kind of funny anytime

432
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,040
I like want to show my kids
something that's maybe like a

433
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,400
recording in black and white or
something like that they're they

434
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:52,040
just immediately shut down and
Oh no and it's it's old and like

435
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:57,760
you realize the earth was a good
place even before you showed up

436
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:58,400
on it.
Right.

437
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,000
Right.
Right.

438
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:07,120
There's, you know, so anyway,
the culture of disrespect in

439
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:13,680
America, another big thing is if
the kids, and I, I agree with

440
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:18,200
you by the way, that kid, it's
good for the kids to respect

441
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:19,840
their parents not necessarily
fear them.

442
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:22,880
Fear is kind of a loaded word.
It's kind of like how

443
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,480
disciplined is a loaded word.
Spank is a loaded word.

444
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,920
Like there's a whole spectrum of
what this means.

445
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:31,080
Right.
And the scripture even says the

446
00:28:31,080 --> 00:28:32,800
fear of God is the beginning of
wisdom.

447
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:33,760
Right.
Right.

448
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,960
And the scripture says, you know
God.

449
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:40,080
There's tons of references to
where God's like furious.

450
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:49,920
And you know, the so anger
itself is is really a hard topic

451
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,080
because you know the worst
mistakes of your life you're

452
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,120
probably going to make because
you were angry.

453
00:28:55,240 --> 00:29:00,240
I mean, as far as parenting
goes, and there's this Orson

454
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,640
Pratt, he had a little thing on
on parenting and he said, you

455
00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,960
know, don't ever discipline your
kid when you're angry because

456
00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:09,480
it's not going to go so well.
But let's take that with a grain

457
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:10,880
of salt.
Anger.

458
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:12,760
You know there's a spectrum,
right?

459
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,320
There's like, totally blitz out
of control anger.

460
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,040
Or there's like, hey, I'm gonna
raise my voice and let you know

461
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,960
I'm serious.
I'm gonna let you know that what

462
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,920
you do is completely uncalled
for.

463
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:29,280
And that what you did offends me
and upsets me and is not OK with

464
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,520
me.
It's not what we've raised you

465
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,760
to do.
And, you know, so you do have to

466
00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,200
have a relationship, of course.
Look at the Doctrine and

467
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,960
Covenants some of the times when
Joseph Smith gets roasted by the

468
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,400
Lord man.
I wouldn't want to be Joseph at

469
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:45,880
those moments because he gets
it.

470
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:50,240
He gets it thick sometimes.
But of course the Lord had that

471
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:54,160
relationship with Joseph.
So when we have the relationship

472
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,680
with our kids, we can we can be
more down to earth and and do

473
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:05,200
what we need to do.
I I think you hit on a key thing

474
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:10,040
there, being in control, whether
that is spanking, whether that

475
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:15,600
is another form of disciplining.
Look, I got, I can literally

476
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,320
remember five times all that.
My old dad, my old man laid

477
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:22,960
hands on me.
And in every instance I can

478
00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,080
totally remember, even at my
young age, I was like, I have

479
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,120
this coming, right?
Like I knew, right.

480
00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:33,760
So my dad didn't overuse it.
That's interesting about Orson

481
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:35,360
Pratt.
I'm going to throw out another

482
00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,880
another quote here to you, and I
want to see if you can peg this.

483
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,760
You probably know who it is, he
said.

484
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,080
It's been my experience that the
use of the rod is more the

485
00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:51,720
result of a spoiled parent than
a spoiled child.

486
00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,080
You want to take a guess on who
said that?

487
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,240
I could guess Brigham.
I don't.

488
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,280
Know that was Brigham.
OK.

489
00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:02,880
That was Brigham.
Yeah.

490
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,320
No, I I found it interesting,
right.

491
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:10,440
And so even Brigham is seeing
'cause, you know, I do think

492
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:14,000
that maybe in the old days, we
were too quick to break a child

493
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,280
spirit, right?
And and as you listen to Brigham

494
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,160
talk, he's like, look, we need
to provide discipline,

495
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,880
structure, but we don't need to
break a child.

496
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:27,720
We just need to harness it.
We we need to to teach him what

497
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,360
to do with those passions and
and whatnot.

498
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,320
And really, when I look at
parenting, I think one of the

499
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:39,080
biggest places we have vacated
is the space in which we can

500
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:43,320
teach our children how to
harness who it is They are,

501
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:48,040
right?
All of our kids come kind of how

502
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,840
they are, right?
I understand there's things that

503
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:54,840
we can do to influence their
their attitudes or whatnot, but

504
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,800
a lot of that is they're still
just people, right?

505
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,240
And they come kind of with their
own identities.

506
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:06,680
You and I believe it's because
we, we lived in another place

507
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:11,400
before we came here.
I had one son who was absolutely

508
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:16,200
stubborn.
I mean, stubborn like me.

509
00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,880
Stubborn.
It was so ridiculous, right?

510
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:24,200
And I swore I was never going to
get him pointed in the right

511
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:26,080
direction.
But it finally happened.

512
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,880
And what what I've discovered is
that thing that I used to have

513
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:36,240
to contend with with him, that
being stubborn is now a a tool

514
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,640
in his or an arrow in his quiver
that he uses when he wants to do

515
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:44,760
something good.
Oftentimes it's not about just

516
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,960
correcting an attitude, it's
about learning.

517
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:50,960
It's about teaching that kid
where that attitude is

518
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,200
appropriate and when to use it
and how to use it.

519
00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:56,760
Yeah, The same goes for
arrogance and pride.

520
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,240
You know, there's a good side
and a bad side.

521
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:05,440
And yeah, it's it's almost like
you need, it's really great when

522
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:08,960
you can get, you know, the wife
involved and have a little

523
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:11,960
discussion with the kid before
administering whatever

524
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:13,440
consequence it is that you get
chosen on.

525
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:17,600
Because you want to have a level
head and you want to make sure

526
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,280
that the kid understands that
you know there's a reasonable

527
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,960
thing of why this consequence
he's getting his consequence.

528
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:31,120
So there's there's you know this
spectrum right of how

529
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,880
historically you mentioned that
at the time of the early Saints.

530
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,120
You know a lot of what went on
in the world is probably

531
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:44,640
excessive discipline and and now
I think it's pretty easy to see

532
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:49,520
that with the pendulum swung the
other way and were too soft and

533
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:58,080
but I wanna the the too soft it
doesn't necessarily mean get out

534
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:05,880
your rods it's it's time for
time for anyway it it can mean

535
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:10,199
we're too uninvolved is another
big part of it because what the

536
00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:14,639
social sciences are are
repeating now is that parents

537
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:19,159
need to have high love and high
involvement.

538
00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:27,320
Basically one of the at the at
the place I work we have staff

539
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,600
who will help be with the kids
throughout the day and all this.

540
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,679
And and there's some of them
just kind of let misbehaviors go

541
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,360
and other ones that hey that's
not appropriate.

542
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,840
We need you to cut that out.
So it didn't turn into a big old

543
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,600
situation.
But it's are they are these

544
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:46,440
parent figures are we pointing
it out or just letting it slide.

545
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:50,960
Because a strict conscience will
tell you it'll point out hey

546
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,000
that wasn't good and you need to
address it And even if it's like

547
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,639
OK, I'm sorry even if you know
you're going to screw up again

548
00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:58,840
it's at least acknowledge that
there's a problem.

549
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,400
But it's the ones that never
like.

550
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:08,280
OK this kid just, you know use
the F bomb and or or or told a

551
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:11,240
authority figure to shut up or
something like you can't let

552
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:13,520
that slide.
You've got to, you know,

553
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,200
consistently be involved and it
can be exhausting.

554
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:18,240
You know parenting is
exhausting.

555
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,160
But we'll talk also about, like,
how certain types of parenting

556
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:25,160
are more exhausting in a bad way
than others.

557
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,360
Sax points out.
How?

558
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:34,680
When you actually let your?
Sorry, before we go there, what?

559
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:40,400
What has caused this?
What has caused parents to to to

560
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,520
just let go of their
responsibility of being parents?

561
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:51,200
Yeah maybe the media.
So the grandparents they had

562
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,760
more power and and influence on
their kids than our parents had

563
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,520
on us and and now we just
general societal trend we have

564
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,240
less power and influence over
over our kids.

565
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,680
Let's one example is T VS in the
bedroom.

566
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,040
For a long time the church was
saying don't put your TV in the

567
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,960
bedroom and and don't let a kid
have ATV in his bedroom.

568
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:19,040
And the I don't remember which
society, I don't think it was

569
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,760
the APA but some society was
saying and some medical children

570
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,960
in society said yeah research
shows you do not want a screen

571
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:31,960
in your kids bedroom.
And then what did the media do?

572
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:36,720
They came out and said, Oh yeah,
that's ridiculous, don't even

573
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:39,120
worry about that.
That's like so unachievable.

574
00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:42,720
And so they just undermine sound
wisdom and they undermine

575
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:46,360
scientific research on on what's
most likely to create success

576
00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:51,360
anyway, What's what's causing
this?

577
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:57,560
That's a good question, man.
Yeah.

578
00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:01,880
Cause 'cause I, you know, it's
good to talk about the symptoms,

579
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,480
right?
But I feel like if if all we do

580
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,800
is address the symptoms, it
doesn't necessarily affect a

581
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:14,680
solution.
I'll be honest and and again,

582
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,840
this is going to be wildly
unpopular.

583
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:25,960
OK, let me preface this by
saying one of my wife's does

584
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:30,560
work, but she worked started
working after our kids were all

585
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:38,240
teenagers when there had to be a
two parent income to make

586
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:43,000
things, to make ends meet.
And look, I live along the

587
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,520
Wasatch Front.
I see it.

588
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,440
I understand that you have to do
that.

589
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:54,320
The the problem is, is that I
don't know if it was by design.

590
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,120
I don't know if it was by design
of the adversaries and then we

591
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:04,640
were useful idiots to him.
But what what I look at is when

592
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:08,560
when mom started going to work
is when a lot of these problems

593
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:15,080
started to flare up.
And that's because when when mom

594
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,720
had to go to work, that means
the kids were left unsupervised

595
00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:21,840
for a few hours in the morning
and in the evening.

596
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:25,160
How do you feel those hours you
turn on the television?

597
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:32,800
Yeah.
And and I think that sometimes a

598
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,400
lot of these problems, or I
won't even say sometimes I

599
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:41,160
believe a lot of these problems
came into being once both

600
00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,000
parents had to go to work just
to make ends meet.

601
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:51,560
Yeah, yeah, that.
Yeah.

602
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:57,920
And the kids, they learn that
there's this transfer of

603
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,760
authority.
You know, that the, yeah, it

604
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:08,360
seems like there's just a
multitude of of of ways that

605
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,240
that the attack is happening.
And obviously, you know, look at

606
00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:15,320
the Family Proclamation, you
know, and just the obvious

607
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:21,160
scriptural warning that when the
family is not intact, everything

608
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:25,600
is just going to blow up.
So yeah.

609
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,320
Interesting.
All right.

610
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:31,920
Where were we heading next?
So you you brought up how

611
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:37,400
Brigham was talking about, not.
You know how sometimes it's it's

612
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,120
the parents who lack the skills
when when the whip's being used

613
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:43,040
all the time.
I did have one that I was going

614
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:45,040
to read to you.
This is Brigham, he said.

615
00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:48,880
It is not by the whip or the rod
that we can make obedient

616
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,160
children.
It is by faith and by prayer and

617
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,880
by setting a good example before
them.

618
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:59,880
So that's important.
And then?

619
00:40:00,480 --> 00:40:04,120
Yeah, 'cause when when we talk
about parenting we, you know, we

620
00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:08,440
need to, we we always need to
have the doctrine of the

621
00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:11,200
tenderness in place.
It no matter what else we

622
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,520
discuss, we need that foundation
of of love and kindness for the

623
00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,960
kids.
Joseph Smith, he said.

624
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:23,120
Nothing is so much calculated to
lead people to forsake sin as to

625
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:25,400
take them by the hand and watch
over them with tenderness.

626
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,040
When persons manifest the least
kindness and love to me, oh what

627
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,920
power it has over my mind.
While the opposite course has a

628
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,520
tendency to Harrow up all the
harsh feelings and depress the

629
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:42,120
human mind, we also have
Brigham.

630
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,200
He said parents should never
drive their children, but lead

631
00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:47,800
them along, giving them
knowledge as their minds are

632
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:51,240
prepared to receive it.
Chastening may be necessary at

633
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,080
the times, but parents should
govern their children by faith

634
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,840
rather than by the rod leading
them kindly, by good example.

635
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:03,480
And you know, Brigham Young's
kids, they attested that he was

636
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:10,760
this tender parent, his daughter
Souza said.

637
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,200
None of us feared him.
All of us adored him.

638
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:21,240
So yeah Brigham you know he was
big on this that that we do need

639
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:28,480
to be you know you think of gosh
the impossible standard won't

640
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:34,000
well the the Christian standard
of of you know if if this is you

641
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:37,800
know if I you know how would how
would God treat this child of

642
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:44,120
his and all that But yeah with
the with the disciplining we do

643
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:50,000
you know there are kids you know
whether you're raising a a

644
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,080
single parent family where the
dad's not there to kind of lay

645
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,600
down the law or if you're
getting a kid you know who's

646
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,640
adopted kid who you know the
first half of his childhood

647
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,920
didn't know any rules or
structure.

648
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:07,400
You know or let's say a typical
family and some kids are just

649
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:11,840
more rebellious than others and
a little hard headed or or you

650
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,960
know all these different
scenarios to where there are

651
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:26,400
these times when you've got the
need to use discipline the so

652
00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:32,760
the you basically have to
establish that there is law and

653
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:37,360
order in the home.
Another thing that Doctor Sachs

654
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,720
points out is a lot of the times
the correct answer for a rule in

655
00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:43,840
the home is, is because I said
so, you know, we're we're afraid

656
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,760
of that now and older kids do
need more explaining.

657
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:51,720
But it's totally legitimate to
to have a rule which is, you

658
00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:54,400
know, hey, one of the things you
need to learn in this house is

659
00:42:54,440 --> 00:43:00,280
respect for authority.
And that's, you know, it's we we

660
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:04,680
really learn in the church that
obedience is the first law of

661
00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:07,480
heaven, right.
So it probably needs to be the

662
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:12,040
first law of our homes.
And there's there's ways that

663
00:43:12,040 --> 00:43:19,560
parents can can turn that
authority around to where the

664
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:24,080
kids are each other's authority
versus the parents get the

665
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:26,440
authority back.
And you can even have a little

666
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,720
family meeting and announce it
and say, hey, we're going to be

667
00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:30,640
doing this around here now,
things are going to be changing

668
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:34,400
around here.
One of the things that Doctor

669
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:40,240
Sachs cautions parents against
is the the kids are being

670
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,960
cultured by their peers instead
of their parents.

671
00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:50,400
For example, the family
vacation, if if your family's

672
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,360
going on a vacation and your kid
says I don't want to go, you

673
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,280
know, I don't even like skiing
or I don't like hiking or, you

674
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:59,000
know, I don't like lakes or I
don't like everything that's

675
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,520
good and beautiful about this
life, I want to stay home and

676
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:03,560
I'll just stay at my neighbor's
house.

677
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:10,520
So he says that's a big no, no,
do not let that happen because

678
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,080
your kid is not being
independent.

679
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:17,600
They are being they're
transferring their dependence on

680
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:22,240
to someone else and he's and
another.

681
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,240
Another important point that a
lot of us probably didn't catch

682
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:31,880
is he says don't bring friends
on your family vacations because

683
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,080
then it becomes an expensive
play date.

684
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,760
Your kid just focuses all his
time and attention on building a

685
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,960
relationship with a friend when
the whole purpose of that

686
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,960
vacation was to build a
relationship with each other as

687
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,480
family members.
And something we've been telling

688
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:52,000
our kids lately is, look, if
you're if you've got these, you

689
00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,240
know, if you can, if you can
smile and be happy with your

690
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:59,840
friends but but be resentful and
pessimistic with us, that's a

691
00:44:59,840 --> 00:45:02,760
relationship problem.
That's what Doctor Sachs points

692
00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:04,840
out as well as that's a
relationship problem.

693
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,560
So we do need to get out more.
We need to do more as a family.

694
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:11,360
We need to, you know, and the
kid can be kicking and screaming

695
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:13,240
sometimes.
It's like, hey, I'm sorry, we're

696
00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:16,760
going on this trip and and when
a kid learns that they can have

697
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:20,960
fun with their parent, then they
really, the relationship really

698
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:27,200
changes.
So one of the things that the

699
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:31,960
book goes into is why kids are
overweight and he he puts the

700
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:35,120
blame on how the parents are
again, just letting the kids do

701
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:36,640
whatever they want.
So should we get into that a

702
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:38,560
little bit?
Yeah, let's let's get into that.

703
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:47,040
OK, so in the 1970s, the norm in
America was if you don't like

704
00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:48,920
what's served for dinner, you're
going to go hungry.

705
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:57,000
Nowadays it's a it's a debate.
It's a you choose, it's a it's

706
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,640
a, you know, hey, eat your
vegetables and you can have

707
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:03,040
dessert.
Well, now it's, well, OK how

708
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:06,040
about eat one, eat 2 pieces of
broccoli and you can have

709
00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:07,800
dessert.
So it's getting less and less

710
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,720
and less.
Whereas in the past was like,

711
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:12,120
hey man, take it or leave it.
This is what we prepared for

712
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:18,720
you, you know, and that's you
know, I get there's some kids

713
00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:22,680
with this eating disorders and
and different like yeah that's

714
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:27,160
not A1 size fits all.
But generally speaking you're

715
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,520
not starving your kid.
You're giving them the option to

716
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,680
eat.
You know, you most homes do

717
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:35,200
three meals a day.
And what this Doctor Sachs says

718
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,640
is, you know, by and by they're
going to, they'll get hungry and

719
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:41,320
they'll, you know, he says this
mom came into him and she's

720
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:43,760
like, he just won't eat any
vegetables because this kid was

721
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:46,160
having health problems because
he was malnourished.

722
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,720
And she's like, we offer him
these foods, but all he wants is

723
00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:51,720
like Slurpees and that's like
all, all we can get him to eat.

724
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:56,080
And and Doctor Sachs is like,
well you know, he would eat it

725
00:46:56,080 --> 00:47:05,920
if he was hungry enough, so.
Yeah, that's I think, I think

726
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:10,840
another reason for for childhood
obesity, and I know me talking

727
00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:14,680
about obesity is a lot like
Cheech and Chong being the

728
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,760
spokesman for Just Say No to
Drugs.

729
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:21,840
But you know, here's here,
here's what I'm going to say,

730
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:25,120
right, is that we have two
things that are working against

731
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:30,880
us in this aspect.
One is we, we keep comparing

732
00:47:30,880 --> 00:47:35,600
former generations.
And certainly I am a big fan of

733
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,120
looking back because I feel like
there's a lot of answers there.

734
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,280
And I think throughout this
conversation I may sound like a

735
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:45,600
broken record, so I apologize.
But part of the problem is this,

736
00:47:45,720 --> 00:47:49,080
going back to both parents
having to work now, right?

737
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:53,600
Your kid gets home and he's just
eating whatever junk is in the

738
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:55,480
cupboard, right?
It's not like that.

739
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:56,800
Kids.
Like, you know what I'm going to

740
00:47:56,800 --> 00:47:58,440
do?
I'm going to make me a salad.

741
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,800
Oh no, that kid is going to the
freezer to look for ice cream,

742
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,120
chocolate bars or whatever else
he can get his hands on.

743
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:10,400
The the other thing is we're
never home anymore.

744
00:48:10,400 --> 00:48:15,560
Nate, as I look around at, let's
just take the average family

745
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:20,720
along the Wasatch Front here.
If you got kids that range from

746
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:26,120
the age of 6 on up, you know you
got a decent sized family, 4

747
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:32,280
kids, you're running, you're
taking one kid to ballet, you're

748
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,320
taking another kid to football
practice, you're taking another

749
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:39,200
kid to gymnastics or whatever
the activities are, right?

750
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,640
Mom is exhausted.
She's been working all day.

751
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:44,800
Dad's exhausted, he's been
working all day.

752
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:48,680
And now all of a sudden what are
you serving something that's

753
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:54,240
highly processed, that is, you
know, got a ton of calories, not

754
00:48:54,240 --> 00:48:57,000
good ones, right?
Something that you can throw in

755
00:48:57,000 --> 00:49:01,840
a microwave.
And as I look at this, it is

756
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:06,360
such I see the fingerprints of
the adversary all over all of

757
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:11,040
this, right?
We're never home together as a

758
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,920
family.
I would be fascinated to find

759
00:49:13,920 --> 00:49:18,320
out what the what the percentage
of Americans who eat together as

760
00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:23,960
a family now is.
I'm guessing it's pretty low and

761
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:26,520
there were a lot of things that
got worked out over the family

762
00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:28,520
dinner table that aren't getting
worked out.

763
00:49:28,520 --> 00:49:33,320
Now in addition to good, high
quality food, they're just all

764
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:39,440
over the map running around and
and again, it's a clever ploy by

765
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,800
the adversary, right, 'cause
none of the stuff they're doing

766
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:46,720
is inherently bad.
It's just sometimes there's a

767
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:51,320
good, better, best kind of
mentality that we need to start

768
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,280
adopting and and me and my wife
went through this and

769
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:59,160
fortunately my wife is way
smarter than I am and way more

770
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,800
in tune and she just basically
said I think we need to limit

771
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:07,280
each kid to one activity, right?
Or else we're never going to be

772
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:11,920
home together, right.
And I think, I think this part

773
00:50:11,920 --> 00:50:15,200
about kids being overweight now
have a lot to do with the fact

774
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,120
that there's not parents at
home.

775
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:25,360
And it's it's really rough.
And I remember because I'm a

776
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,800
huge nerd.
Do you remember who Norman

777
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:30,160
Schwarzkopf was?
No.

778
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:34,600
Oh, you would have loved him.
Storm and Norman Schwarzkopf.

779
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:38,280
He was a general during the
first Gulf War.

780
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:42,960
So Colin Powell was the main
guy, and then Schwarzkopf was

781
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:47,880
right below him.
And they asked after the war,

782
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,680
they asked Schwarzkopf what his
plan was, why it was so

783
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,400
effective.
Right.

784
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:56,920
And he said it was simple.
I I first cut off the head of

785
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,000
the snake, and then I'll let the
body of the snake die.

786
00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:01,480
And they say, well, what do you
mean by that?

787
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:06,400
And he said, well, if you cut
off communication, everything

788
00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:08,680
else falls into disarray.
And then we can just pick them

789
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,160
off 1 by 1.
And I feel like that's what's

790
00:51:12,160 --> 00:51:17,280
happened with the American
family, is that if you can cut

791
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:23,040
the head off of the family, the
mom and dad, well, then it's

792
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:24,400
easy to pick off the rest of
them.

793
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,640
And we've allowed it to happen
because none of it was bad,

794
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:29,640
right?
It wasn't.

795
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,200
I mean, you can't point at
football as being bad.

796
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,680
You can't point at ballet as
being bad.

797
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:38,680
You can't point at gymnastics as
being bad, right.

798
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:41,760
And you want your kids to be
active and stuff, but at what

799
00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:46,280
cost?
And so I feel like a lot of

800
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:49,160
these problems are we're we're
now at a point where it's going

801
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:54,320
to take some radical solutions.
Yeah, there's studies that show

802
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,360
that the number of dinners a kid
has with his family per week is

803
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:01,600
statistically significant.
If it's seven family dinner

804
00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:04,560
nights a week, the kids going to
do better than the kid with six

805
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,160
and the kid that has six family
dinner nights a week is going to

806
00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:08,800
do the kid with five at every
single step.

807
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:12,760
It's statistically significant
that by all the measuring we

808
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:18,800
have of of children and how well
they're doing, the family

809
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,320
dinners are just the deal
Breakers.

810
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,560
It's interesting how in the
church we had the, you know, I

811
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:27,240
don't even remember who
instituted, but the family home

812
00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:29,000
evening, Yeah.
Do you remember?

813
00:52:29,080 --> 00:52:31,080
Who was that McKay or what was
that?

814
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,640
Well, I don't know.
There is.

815
00:52:34,720 --> 00:52:37,040
Hold on one second.
Let me let me see if I can look

816
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:42,000
this up real quick, because I
have an interesting story on

817
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,520
this.
Give me just one second here,

818
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,000
Nate, 'cause I I remember who
you were talking about.

819
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:48,920
Who?
I'll I'll ramble a bit while

820
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:53,000
you're looking at it.
So the the general idea is you

821
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,240
guys, we all need to be having
family time on a regular basis

822
00:52:56,680 --> 00:53:00,480
and it seems like the the
minimum like the lowest

823
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:04,000
requirement is for gonna sake
have at least one week right

824
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,640
Have have one evening a week
where you're having family time.

825
00:53:07,320 --> 00:53:09,920
But that's probably not the
ideal.

826
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:13,080
You know, it's probably like we
need it way more often than

827
00:53:13,080 --> 00:53:15,520
that.
And if you wanna at least

828
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:17,680
survive, at least do it one
night a week.

829
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:24,200
But there's a big problem with
the how.

830
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:28,840
How we say, you know, it's
almost like, you know, when you

831
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:32,520
hear the people talking about
how busy they are, it almost is

832
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:36,160
bragging to an extent where
they'll be like, oh, you know,

833
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,160
I'm just so busy, you know, I
don't have time for this and I

834
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:39,240
have time for that.
And we're never home.

835
00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:40,800
We're always going from one
place to the other.

836
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:47,040
And I would love to do that but
I'm just so busy and and it's

837
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:51,280
it's like we need to make the
faithful choice to be less busy

838
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:57,560
and you know the I love the you
know those ads that the church

839
00:53:57,560 --> 00:54:02,920
used to run on Well they anyway
I don't know if they do but on

840
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:08,880
how fat you know family is about
time and all this and so yeah

841
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,040
we're we're obsessed with being
busy and it and it you know the

842
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:18,480
sad reality is maybe we need to
you know as as a society give up

843
00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:23,320
the MC mansion give up the new
car give up all this stuff

844
00:54:23,320 --> 00:54:27,720
that's taken us away.
President Spencer Kimball gave a

845
00:54:27,720 --> 00:54:30,000
really good talk called The
False Gods We Worship.

846
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:32,520
That's what it was.
Where he talks about all these,

847
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:37,600
you know, all these financial
things we're so obsessed with

848
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,120
now are are eating away our
family time.

849
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:44,120
So I found out which president
of the church rolled it out, and

850
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:46,880
it was actually Joseph F Smith.
OK.

851
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:51,440
Yeah, that.
But Joseph F Smith got the idea

852
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:56,520
from a close personal friend and
and here's where I'm going to do

853
00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:59,160
my little thing, who was a
polygamist of all things.

854
00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:03,600
And he had said, I'm having a
hard time getting my family

855
00:55:03,600 --> 00:55:06,400
together right.
I got all these responsibilities

856
00:55:06,960 --> 00:55:09,880
and he came up with this idea
and pitched it to Joseph F

857
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:11,800
Smith.
And he's like, I like that.

858
00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:17,400
So yeah, you can thank
polygamists for for Family Home

859
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:18,680
evening.
You're welcome, everybody.

860
00:55:20,680 --> 00:55:22,560
Glad we have it.
That's that's just.

861
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,560
Get on the right track.
That's just a joke.

862
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:29,680
But here's here's the thing you
were talking about.

863
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,720
You know what it is we're going
to have to do.

864
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:37,000
And what I'm about to say is
also going to irritate some

865
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:37,960
people.
And I get it.

866
00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:42,880
If you live in an area that
requires A2 income home and you

867
00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:45,520
have young kids, you might want
to think about moving.

868
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:50,000
You might want to think about
pulling up stakes and going

869
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,360
somewhere else where you can
make it on one income.

870
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,560
And there's been plenty of time,
plenty time of times on this

871
00:55:56,560 --> 00:56:01,000
podcast I have made the the
suggestion.

872
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:06,680
Maybe it's time to to to move
somewhere where you can

873
00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:10,320
homeschool your kids, where you
can move around like minded

874
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:13,440
people, and where you can live
in an area that's not so

875
00:56:13,440 --> 00:56:15,720
expensive so you can make it on
one income.

876
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:21,000
Yeah, yeah, that's the the quest
of our time.

877
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,080
It's to to have time to parent,
right?

878
00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:30,000
I I feel like we're past the
time of half solutions, that if

879
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:33,280
we really wanna save our
families, we better start

880
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:36,720
thinking about radical solutions
at this point.

881
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:43,480
Yeah, I agree.
So yeah, family home evening is

882
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:48,360
is a great thing that helps us,
you know, because we live in the

883
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:51,160
society where it's always this
go, go, go fast pace and it's

884
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:55,080
where we get to say OK boots,
you know we're putting our foot

885
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,560
down and we are going to do
this.

886
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:03,960
One of the things with the the
kids overweight, this gets back

887
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:08,080
into the the parental authority.
So Michelle Obama made this

888
00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:11,680
school policy where the schools
were going to provide more

889
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,560
healthy food.
OK, so if you're familiar with

890
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:16,640
the public school lunches and
all this, it's trash.

891
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:20,680
And she says, all right, we're
going to give more healthy food

892
00:57:20,800 --> 00:57:23,120
as an option here.
But that was the problem, is

893
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:26,440
they gave it as an option.
So what happened was they had

894
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:30,200
garbage cans full of healthy
food because the kids were still

895
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:34,800
choosing the trash.
And this is what we mean by

896
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,360
treating the kid like a grown up
you.

897
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:43,800
You can't constantly put water
and wine in front of your kid

898
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:45,280
and say choose the water every
time.

899
00:57:45,840 --> 00:57:51,120
You can't, you know, put French
fries and potatoes in front of

900
00:57:51,120 --> 00:57:53,120
your kid and expect them to
choose the potatoes.

901
00:57:53,480 --> 00:57:57,240
At some point you have to only
offer the good thing.

902
00:57:57,800 --> 00:58:00,280
Can't get enough of the Mormon
Renegade podcast?

903
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:03,160
Well, good news, we're on
Patreon and there's three

904
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:04,640
packages that you can choose
from.

905
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:08,320
The first one, the Slightly
Rowdy package, allows you to

906
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:11,320
hear the podcast without all
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907
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,560
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For those who want a slightly

908
00:58:13,560 --> 00:58:15,840
more in depth experience,
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909
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:19,960
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910
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:22,640
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Finally, for those who want to

911
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:26,000
go full Renegade, that package
is available too, where you can

912
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:29,760
get everything in the previous
two packages, plus an extra show

913
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:33,120
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breakdown the news of the day

914
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:34,880
from a very Mormon point of
view.

915
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:39,320
You will also get exclusive
access to Renegade chat, and on

916
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:41,520
there you'll be able to talk to
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917
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,240
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mind.

918
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,920
Go to Patreon today and get your
exclusive content.

919
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:51,280
And later, you know, obviously
they're going to be adults and

920
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:54,000
choose what to choose.
But if they learn that they have

921
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:58,840
the, the capacity to to, you
know, make healthy choices,

922
00:58:59,160 --> 00:59:01,600
they're going to learn, hey, I
feel good.

923
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,480
Look at my friends are getting
all huffing and puffing after

924
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:08,240
they try to run a mile, you
know, So that's the problem is

925
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:12,760
we can't just, you know, say
hey, you know, here's the,

926
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:18,000
here's the cocaine and here's
the, you know, the salad, Good

927
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,920
luck.
We have to be the adults.

928
00:59:19,920 --> 00:59:22,520
We have to step in and say, no,
this is not gonna happen.

929
00:59:23,040 --> 00:59:27,800
And that's that's why her school
program failed.

930
00:59:28,080 --> 00:59:32,160
And and frankly that's another,
you know, we'll we'll plug for

931
00:59:32,240 --> 00:59:34,800
home school whenever we get the
chance and that's another thing

932
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:42,840
is this toxic food at these
schools and you know that's a

933
00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:45,440
that's the thing.
What do you what do you think

934
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:53,720
about that Dave?
Look, I have no doubt that the

935
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,560
food at school absolutely sucks,
right?

936
00:59:56,960 --> 01:00:00,520
Anything that's produced on that
level can't be great.

937
01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:05,640
But I'll say this right and and
and this is where I really

938
01:00:06,080 --> 01:00:10,240
continue to go back to.
We need, we need a makeover of

939
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:13,720
all of society, right?
Because for some kids, that

940
01:00:13,720 --> 01:00:16,560
could be the only meal they get.
Sure.

941
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:19,440
Right.
And so when it when a kids in

942
01:00:19,440 --> 01:00:23,600
that point.
I mean how do you how do you

943
01:00:23,600 --> 01:00:27,400
even do that Like I'll be honest
and and this is something I've

944
01:00:27,400 --> 01:00:32,800
been thinking about a lot and it
ties into this it feels like we

945
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:37,800
are forcing mankind to do things
that are just not conducive with

946
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:40,040
the human experience.
Right.

947
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:44,240
I, I look at social media you
want to talk about the most

948
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:49,200
ineffective way for two people
to communicate it's through text

949
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:53,960
it's through social media.
We're running a social

950
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:57,200
experiment that we don't know
the outcomes yet.

951
01:00:57,280 --> 01:00:59,320
We're starting to get a pretty
good idea, right?

952
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:05,480
Cramming guys into a cubicle for
8 hours a day does not make

953
01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,160
sense.
For some people that works, but

954
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:12,480
for a lot it doesn't.
We we are living sedentary lives

955
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:15,280
that the human body just wasn't
meant to live.

956
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:21,840
We are ingesting media that just
really has no place anywhere.

957
01:01:22,320 --> 01:01:27,200
And we're doing this and it all.
And I've felt this for a few

958
01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,960
years now.
I feel like we are living the

959
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:33,120
most inauthentic ways that we
can think of.

960
01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:36,160
And we're bearing the burden of
that now.

961
01:01:36,440 --> 01:01:39,560
So when we start talking about
kids in the inner city, that

962
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:41,800
could be the only meal they get,
right?

963
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:45,880
And This is why no one will ever
run on this platform and get

964
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:47,760
elected.
Yeah.

965
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,520
The problem is, you know what?
You know what has to happen.

966
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:55,120
There needs to be two parents in
that home, or if if you're a

967
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:57,200
polygamist, 3 or 4.
Anyway.

968
01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:59,560
Mom and dad have to be home,
right?

969
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:02,800
That kid needs instruction.
That kid needs structure.

970
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:06,040
That kid needs good food.
And we're not getting at doing

971
01:02:06,040 --> 01:02:10,160
what we're doing, right?
And until we have that makeover,

972
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:13,000
I I just don't know what else we
can do there.

973
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:18,280
I mean, the school could elect
to just have good, clean food,

974
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:22,440
but let's be honest, Have you
looked at what it costs to eat

975
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:27,520
good, clean food versus the cost
of crap that comes out of a box?

976
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:31,480
Yeah, there's that and and
there's the fact that kids in

977
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,440
affluent neighborhoods, they'll
just go buy their own junk food,

978
01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:40,640
you know, and then the, you
know, share it with all their

979
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,280
buddies at school.
And it's also kind of upsetting

980
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:48,640
how all our youth night
activities, you know, because

981
01:02:48,640 --> 01:02:50,880
the Latter Day Saints we're
known for, we're going to have,

982
01:02:50,880 --> 01:02:53,440
you know, refreshments, right.
How many Mormons does it take to

983
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:54,960
screw in a light bulb?
Right.

984
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:58,560
One to screw it in and and tend
to bring refreshments.

985
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,640
But the problem is, is, you
know, if there's no doughnuts,

986
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:04,040
I'm not going that kind of
thing.

987
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:10,200
Yeah.
And we we actually, when my wife

988
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:15,640
was in the young women
presidency and our ward, we we

989
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:17,120
push for like, hey, we're not
going to have soda.

990
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:20,200
We're going to have juice, you
know, like 100% juice or we're

991
01:03:20,200 --> 01:03:24,320
not going to have, you know,
these, you know, fried chips.

992
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,480
We're going to try baked chips
or like, you know, nutrition is

993
01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:30,440
all about replacing with you
know, making little switches,

994
01:03:30,520 --> 01:03:32,840
little things that OK, I can
handle that make one little

995
01:03:32,840 --> 01:03:35,440
step.
You know, another interesting

996
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:40,520
point about that Sax makes about
food is the kids are snacking

997
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:43,320
all the time.
And these moms, they'll bring,

998
01:03:43,320 --> 01:03:45,320
you know, if they've got a 20
minute drive to school, they're

999
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:49,040
bringing their kid to school,
they bring snacks and you know,

1000
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:51,640
it's not, you know, not a
healthy snack either usually.

1001
01:03:52,040 --> 01:03:55,560
And it's like God forbid that
kid experiences one minute of

1002
01:03:55,560 --> 01:03:58,560
hunger.
He says in experiments with

1003
01:03:58,600 --> 01:04:03,520
animals, The animals who have
free access to food that they

1004
01:04:03,520 --> 01:04:09,960
can access anytime who you know
consume like you know X number

1005
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:13,040
of calories, they get fatter
than the animals who consume the

1006
01:04:13,040 --> 01:04:15,720
same number of calories but on a
schedule.

1007
01:04:16,320 --> 01:04:18,880
So in other words back in the
day this is another virtue of

1008
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:22,880
the past is they didn't do all
these constant snackings and and

1009
01:04:22,880 --> 01:04:25,800
another benefit of of cutting
out the snacks is it drives the

1010
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:30,680
parents crazy.
Now I'll I'll I'll say what I

1011
01:04:30,680 --> 01:04:34,160
mean here is it's not the
kitchen's not always open or

1012
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:37,240
like the it's not always because
we don't want to drive mom crazy

1013
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,800
or the the parents crazy by
constantly cleaning up and

1014
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,040
constantly cooking.
That's so that's another benefit

1015
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:46,120
and I get it that a kid might
need a snack right here and

1016
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:48,360
there.
But what what we're saying is

1017
01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:52,160
it's not just a constant buffet.
So back in the past they did

1018
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:56,480
more of the three meals a day
now and I get you know you don't

1019
01:04:56,480 --> 01:05:00,160
want to spike the blood sugar by
you know these these massive

1020
01:05:00,640 --> 01:05:04,000
occasional feasts.
But the idea is, is not having

1021
01:05:04,000 --> 01:05:07,560
the free access.
You mentioned, the physical

1022
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:10,520
activity, So Sax, he definitely
talks about that.

1023
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:16,440
He says back in 1969, forty 1%
of the kids walked to school or

1024
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:20,640
they rode the bike.
By 2001 it dropped to 13%.

1025
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:26,200
And so if you live within a mile
of a grocery store, you know, go

1026
01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:29,080
on a walk with your kids there
or a mile to church, you know,

1027
01:05:29,280 --> 01:05:33,880
go walk to church.
Walking is like a a real human

1028
01:05:33,880 --> 01:05:37,800
thing that we need to do.
Like you said, we we need to

1029
01:05:37,800 --> 01:05:40,960
have as minimal artificial
environment as we can.

1030
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:47,280
I I remember Joel Scows and he's
one of my, you know, really,

1031
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:51,840
really smart mentor and he says
look guys, how are we going to

1032
01:05:52,360 --> 01:05:55,880
run and not be weary and walk
and not faint if we never walk

1033
01:05:55,880 --> 01:06:00,360
and we never run.
So Doctor Sachs points out

1034
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:03,760
there's this kid, he comes to
his his mom says hey you know

1035
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:06,760
it's really nice day outside,
why don't you go play outside

1036
01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:10,440
and the kid looks his mom and
says, well that would be nice

1037
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:12,000
but where would I plug in my
Xbox?

1038
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:19,440
So the the pastime of choice
used to be playing outside and

1039
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,080
now it is switched.
Kids would prefer to be on their

1040
01:06:22,080 --> 01:06:27,920
screens and and this is another
instance where we are letting

1041
01:06:27,920 --> 01:06:30,120
the kids make decisions that are
going to harm them.

1042
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:33,040
The parents need to step them
and say hey no this is the limit

1043
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:34,720
we're going to have.
You know if you are doing the

1044
01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:37,480
screens you know keep it to
under an hour.

1045
01:06:38,600 --> 01:06:43,160
You know and and I'm all for you
know the educational in the

1046
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:46,560
Christian movies that show us
how to be how to how to be

1047
01:06:46,560 --> 01:06:49,240
Christians and how to be
educated.

1048
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:54,920
But the basic idea is these
things are addictive, You know,

1049
01:06:54,920 --> 01:07:00,320
they're high dopamine things
that where we're no longer

1050
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:05,080
sensitive to the reality of of
normal life.

1051
01:07:05,400 --> 01:07:09,440
You know, it's no longer
exciting to go play outside

1052
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:13,760
because they're getting all this
really high stimulation from

1053
01:07:13,760 --> 01:07:16,520
their games.
And the other, and even the

1054
01:07:16,520 --> 01:07:20,480
foods too, the the junk foods
are are so high, triggering

1055
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:24,080
dopamine, that it's going to
make it so, you know, the the

1056
01:07:24,080 --> 01:07:28,280
apple is no longer appealing
because you're so hyped up on

1057
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:31,880
all this other stuff.
Mm hmm.

1058
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:36,280
And and then he says that when
we let the kids kind of rule the

1059
01:07:36,280 --> 01:07:40,360
roost, there's actually an
interesting statistic that your

1060
01:07:40,360 --> 01:07:43,800
defiant and disrespectful kids
are three times as likely to be

1061
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,840
obese as respectful kids.
Interesting.

1062
01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:51,480
And and that that might have to
do with, you know, hey, you

1063
01:07:51,480 --> 01:07:56,400
know, I'm not going to eat that.
I need this, you know and and

1064
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:59,240
the parents having just little
to no authority on on what they

1065
01:07:59,240 --> 01:08:03,000
do that way.
So maybe let's turn the topic

1066
01:08:03,000 --> 01:08:07,200
and talk about one of the big
points in Doctor Sachs's book is

1067
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,080
medication.
Why so many kids are on

1068
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:14,720
medication in America, ready to
go there.

1069
01:08:15,200 --> 01:08:19,560
I'm ready for that.
OK, you you mentioned you had

1070
01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:23,439
Anne Blake Tracy on your show.
She's amazing.

1071
01:08:24,960 --> 01:08:28,200
So one of the things that, well,
Doctor Sachs says that in

1072
01:08:28,200 --> 01:08:34,080
America we have more diagnosis
and more medication than

1073
01:08:34,080 --> 01:08:38,000
anywhere else in the world.
And even in those cases where

1074
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:41,680
diagnosis is appropriate in
America, we're the people who

1075
01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:44,040
jump to and here's your
medication.

1076
01:08:44,439 --> 01:08:47,200
Yep, you got a diagnosis that
that means you need a medication

1077
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:52,040
where even an ADHD diagnosis,
there are lots of ways to

1078
01:08:52,040 --> 01:08:57,600
naturally treat that.
There's even there's even

1079
01:08:57,960 --> 01:09:04,680
natural ADHD medications that
aren't stimulants anyway.

1080
01:09:04,920 --> 01:09:09,319
A lot of these guys who do the
the heavy drugs, they'll report

1081
01:09:09,319 --> 01:09:12,760
you know that they had the
Ritalin and all this.

1082
01:09:13,080 --> 01:09:19,319
That was kind of a gateway.
America has this problem to

1083
01:09:19,319 --> 01:09:22,680
where the medication is the
first line of of defense.

1084
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:27,319
There's this family from Europe
who moved to America.

1085
01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:33,080
And she said as soon as I got to
America, all my, all my kids,

1086
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:36,560
school teachers and doctors were
just constantly pressuring me to

1087
01:09:36,760 --> 01:09:39,760
to put my kid on medication.
And it wasn't like that in

1088
01:09:39,760 --> 01:09:42,479
Europe.
And so these other places around

1089
01:09:42,479 --> 01:09:44,600
the world, they don't.
They're not as trigger happy.

1090
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:50,640
We're so listen to this.
For every one child in England

1091
01:09:50,680 --> 01:09:54,880
giving a bipolar disorder, 73
children in the United States

1092
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:58,720
are given that bipolar disorder.
Bipolar is typically where

1093
01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:02,280
you're going to have these,
these mood swings that you know,

1094
01:10:02,280 --> 01:10:04,960
a couple months of of the manic
and a couple months of the of

1095
01:10:04,960 --> 01:10:07,160
the depressive.
But in children, they call it

1096
01:10:07,160 --> 01:10:09,440
rapid cycling.
If they see a kid who really,

1097
01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:12,040
really happy this moment and
they're like bawling at this

1098
01:10:12,040 --> 01:10:15,320
next moment, you know, in these
10 minute or just really short

1099
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:17,520
cycles, they call it rapid
cycling and they're in these

1100
01:10:17,520 --> 01:10:20,560
very young age diagnosis of
bipolar on that.

1101
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,400
And that's actually what we call
being a child.

1102
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:25,600
It doesn't mean you have
bipolar.

1103
01:10:27,800 --> 01:10:30,120
So we're we're going over the
top with that.

1104
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:34,520
And again it gets back to this
parents discipline, teach,

1105
01:10:35,160 --> 01:10:39,560
correct, mentor, be highly
involved, you know be home, be

1106
01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:43,040
willing to tell your kid no, all
this that the parents aren't

1107
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:45,160
doing now.
And so these kids, you know, you

1108
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:49,360
take them to the, the grocery
store and they're, you know, I'm

1109
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:51,760
never going to fault a parent
who's in this situation with the

1110
01:10:51,760 --> 01:10:53,280
screaming kid at the grocery
store, right?

1111
01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:57,800
The grocery stores are just so
flashy and and so sophisticated

1112
01:10:57,840 --> 01:11:00,520
in how they're set up to to get
even adults.

1113
01:11:00,520 --> 01:11:01,840
So of course it's going to get
kids too.

1114
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:05,800
But but generally speaking, you
know, these kids that are acting

1115
01:11:05,800 --> 01:11:08,040
out at school, they're acting
out everywhere.

1116
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:13,400
It's because of the collapse of
parenting.

1117
01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:17,760
And the way that we solve this
collapse is by diagnosing and

1118
01:11:17,760 --> 01:11:20,960
medicating who give the kids
Risperidol, Seroquel.

1119
01:11:20,960 --> 01:11:26,280
Other adult bipolar drugs.
So one.

1120
01:11:26,760 --> 01:11:27,200
Sorry.
Go ahead.

1121
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:27,920
Go ahead.
No, you.

1122
01:11:28,480 --> 01:11:29,560
Sorry, I thought you were.
Finished.

1123
01:11:30,720 --> 01:11:34,360
A big thing of ADHD is sleep
deprivation.

1124
01:11:34,720 --> 01:11:37,000
If your child is sleep deprived,
they will.

1125
01:11:38,000 --> 01:11:40,880
The signs of ADHD and sleep
deprivation are basically the

1126
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:43,040
same.
So a lot of the time it means

1127
01:11:43,040 --> 01:11:46,920
pulling that screen out of their
bedroom and you know, because

1128
01:11:46,920 --> 01:11:49,520
these kids will stay up, you
know, till 3:00 AM on their

1129
01:11:49,520 --> 01:11:51,360
screens and the parents won't
even know sometimes.

1130
01:11:53,720 --> 01:11:59,360
And yeah, so we're we're
medicating these kids with mood

1131
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:01,720
stabilizers that are under 12
years old.

1132
01:12:02,920 --> 01:12:05,240
The use of these mood
stabilizers and antipsychotics

1133
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:11,400
for these young children went up
700% between 1993 and 2009.

1134
01:12:12,480 --> 01:12:16,000
From 2009 to 2013 there's a
tenfold increase in American

1135
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:23,080
ADHD diagnosis and and the sad
thing is when these kids are on

1136
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:28,720
these ADHD medications they can
get long term results of not

1137
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,840
being able to feel normal
feelings to where the the

1138
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:36,080
classic you know they have to
keep changing the the dosage

1139
01:12:36,080 --> 01:12:42,800
amount because the the tolerance
and they they get the increased

1140
01:12:42,800 --> 01:12:46,520
dopamine.
So they're used to used to this

1141
01:12:46,800 --> 01:12:50,440
high stimulation world to where
the normal world is no longer

1142
01:12:50,440 --> 01:12:53,120
works for them.
So the non stimulant ones you

1143
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:56,480
want to go for if your kid has
these problems, he suggests

1144
01:12:56,480 --> 01:13:01,880
Strattera, Intuitive, Intuitive
and Wellbutrin.

1145
01:13:02,960 --> 01:13:05,640
So those.
And there's another great book

1146
01:13:05,640 --> 01:13:08,200
on this is The Boy Crisis by
Warren Farrell.

1147
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:11,240
There's a whole big section on
that book on treating ADHD

1148
01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:15,240
naturally because yeah, it is a
big problem and we just want to

1149
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:17,320
steer away from the medication
as much as we can.

1150
01:13:17,640 --> 01:13:21,080
But but but OK, now I'm going to
push back here a little bit on

1151
01:13:21,080 --> 01:13:22,760
that.
Is it a big problem?

1152
01:13:23,880 --> 01:13:27,320
Is it a big problem?
So I've heard both ways.

1153
01:13:30,720 --> 01:13:33,480
The point that Doctor Sachs
makes is he thinks we do over

1154
01:13:33,480 --> 01:13:39,280
diagnose Doctor Farrell in boy
crisis.

1155
01:13:39,280 --> 01:13:41,880
He talks about how you know even
if we they do need this

1156
01:13:41,880 --> 01:13:46,960
diagnosis they're still we don't
need to jump to medicating.

1157
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:54,720
So but I I do with you lean
towards yeah we so this is this

1158
01:13:54,720 --> 01:13:57,560
is the problem Dave.
When we're eating all this junk

1159
01:13:57,560 --> 01:14:03,080
food, when we're having kids sit
in a classroom for 8 hours, when

1160
01:14:03,080 --> 01:14:05,880
we're doing all these unnatural
things, they are going to

1161
01:14:05,880 --> 01:14:09,600
develop more problems, you know,
So we do have our kids are

1162
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:12,920
getting more and more messed up.
But, but but that's where I'm

1163
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:18,480
going with this is that the
problems we're having I don't

1164
01:14:18,480 --> 01:14:25,200
think is all the sudden this
explosion of just hormonely

1165
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:33,320
imbalanced children if why is it
that that people who were were

1166
01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:37,080
you know maybe on the quote
spectrum somehow managed to get

1167
01:14:37,080 --> 01:14:39,720
through life just fine before
all the drugs.

1168
01:14:41,720 --> 01:14:45,520
Look I'm a lot of this you have
to make personal right.

1169
01:14:46,040 --> 01:14:49,000
And so I'm gonna share a story
here that I think I may have

1170
01:14:49,000 --> 01:14:53,400
shared with with Anne on I am
Blake Tracy on that episode I

1171
01:14:53,400 --> 01:14:55,480
can't remember.
If not then I'm breaking some

1172
01:14:55,480 --> 01:14:59,040
news.
Our twins, our last two twins

1173
01:14:59,040 --> 01:15:03,920
that we got, we adopted and they
were in rough shape when we got

1174
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:07,760
him because their mother, my
sister had done meth while they

1175
01:15:07,760 --> 01:15:15,240
were in utero.
And our son was just he was

1176
01:15:15,240 --> 01:15:17,440
wired right.
He was just all over the map,

1177
01:15:17,800 --> 01:15:19,520
right?
And we kept having teachers

1178
01:15:19,520 --> 01:15:22,000
saying he needs to be on
Ritalin, he needs to be on

1179
01:15:22,000 --> 01:15:25,360
medication and just pushed and
pushed and pushed and pushed.

1180
01:15:27,920 --> 01:15:30,280
We didn't know better.
We should have known better.

1181
01:15:30,280 --> 01:15:33,680
But we didn't.
At that time he was probably, he

1182
01:15:33,680 --> 01:15:36,560
was probably in the 4th grade.
And I'm like, fine, we'll, we'll

1183
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:41,800
give this a try.
And we had him on it from 4th to

1184
01:15:41,800 --> 01:15:48,360
7th grade and he was just a
shell of himself, right.

1185
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:54,600
And I remember one night he came
in and he just sat next to me.

1186
01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:57,600
I'm like, are you OK?
And he just looked at me and

1187
01:15:57,600 --> 01:16:00,160
said Dad, I can't feel anything.
Oh gosh.

1188
01:16:01,680 --> 01:16:09,760
And I I wept in that moment,
'cause I knew I had failed at

1189
01:16:09,760 --> 01:16:12,760
the one thing I tried so hard to
do, which was to be a good

1190
01:16:12,760 --> 01:16:18,240
parent.
And so that night I got on my

1191
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:20,480
knees and I said, God, what is
it you want me to do here?

1192
01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:23,240
I do not understand.
Help me understand.

1193
01:16:24,200 --> 01:16:28,680
And in a flash it was get him
off the drugs.

1194
01:16:29,800 --> 01:16:34,800
If it was drugs that got him to
this point right, that that was

1195
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:37,200
the initial cause of his being
wired.

1196
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:40,360
What makes you think drugs are
going to be the solution?

1197
01:16:42,360 --> 01:16:45,960
Yeah, I fully expect to get
flagged on this and to the hell

1198
01:16:45,960 --> 01:16:50,480
with it.
But we we we took him off that

1199
01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:54,360
medication and within about four
months he levelled out.

1200
01:16:55,760 --> 01:17:00,280
Now he was still an active kid,
I still had teachers pissing

1201
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:02,520
him, moaning and finally we just
took him out.

1202
01:17:03,320 --> 01:17:04,440
Yeah.
But guess what?

1203
01:17:04,440 --> 01:17:07,440
We took him out.
We did an online program with

1204
01:17:07,440 --> 01:17:09,280
him.
He flew through that 'cause he

1205
01:17:09,280 --> 01:17:13,680
didn't have to work at a slower
pace, so he would fly through

1206
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:15,400
that.
He would go to the work in the

1207
01:17:15,400 --> 01:17:18,960
afternoons.
He had friends, he was active.

1208
01:17:19,280 --> 01:17:25,920
He he was a different kid.
Right now, here's what I've

1209
01:17:25,920 --> 01:17:29,120
seen, and I'm just going to call
it like I see it.

1210
01:17:29,800 --> 01:17:32,080
I'm not a doctor.
I want to preface it with this,

1211
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:39,160
but why is it we started having
school shootings about 10 years

1212
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:42,080
after we really started
medicating young men, and it's

1213
01:17:42,080 --> 01:17:45,280
disproportionately young men who
are getting medicated over the

1214
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:47,200
girls?
Why?

1215
01:17:47,200 --> 01:17:49,760
Why is that?
Why did we see that uptick?

1216
01:17:50,680 --> 01:17:54,120
Well, I look, back when I was a
kid, we all had shotguns in the

1217
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:57,640
back of our truck, right?
We'd go to football practice and

1218
01:17:57,640 --> 01:18:00,520
then it's like, OK, we're
heading to Okuda's farm where we

1219
01:18:00,520 --> 01:18:02,720
have access, where he's giving
it to us and we're gonna blast

1220
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:06,840
away to ducks till dark, right?
There was never an incident.

1221
01:18:07,080 --> 01:18:11,000
What happened?
Well, look, I'm not a doctor,

1222
01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:15,280
but I am a thinker, right?
And if the boys that we put on

1223
01:18:15,280 --> 01:18:21,520
Ritalin and those those
psychotropics when they became

1224
01:18:21,520 --> 01:18:25,120
teenagers and we started seeing
an uptick in school shootings,

1225
01:18:25,280 --> 01:18:27,560
that should have been a damn
giveaway that something was

1226
01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:30,240
wrong.
And I want to make it clear that

1227
01:18:30,240 --> 01:18:31,840
I don't think it's only the
drugs.

1228
01:18:32,160 --> 01:18:35,720
I think that certain video
games, right, Those first person

1229
01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:39,080
shooters, right?
If you have a desensitized kid

1230
01:18:39,160 --> 01:18:42,360
already and then you further
desensitized him through

1231
01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:46,080
violence, but that violence is
the only thing that spikes his

1232
01:18:46,080 --> 01:18:49,040
dopamine, right?
What the hell do you expect to

1233
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:52,360
happen, right?
It makes no sense.

1234
01:18:52,920 --> 01:18:57,000
We have got to stop again.
It's madding 'cause I see the

1235
01:18:57,000 --> 01:19:00,640
world going over the Cliff.
And no one's willing to call

1236
01:19:00,640 --> 01:19:03,480
this out, Nate.
No one's willing to say these

1237
01:19:03,480 --> 01:19:05,760
drugs are part of the problem.
They're not part of the

1238
01:19:05,760 --> 01:19:11,360
solution.
Yeah, yeah, Dave, The thing is

1239
01:19:11,360 --> 01:19:13,000
we're not being anti science
here.

1240
01:19:13,000 --> 01:19:17,520
We're saying the science is
showing that we were deceived.

1241
01:19:17,640 --> 01:19:22,480
We were deceived by Big Pharma.
We were deceived on so many

1242
01:19:22,480 --> 01:19:24,920
levels.
We're deceived by big Food now

1243
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:27,840
thinking that all these
Frankenfoods are OK and they're

1244
01:19:27,840 --> 01:19:32,000
not.
And part of the exodus out of

1245
01:19:32,000 --> 01:19:36,600
Babylon is going to be we're
leaving behind these these high

1246
01:19:36,600 --> 01:19:39,640
stimulus games, these first
person shooters, these high

1247
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:43,200
stimulus foods and you know, the
the shooter games, like you

1248
01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:46,240
said, they're going to get a kid
where he's desensitized, he's

1249
01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:49,840
going to be and it's we have
this problem with, you know,

1250
01:19:49,840 --> 01:19:53,200
obviously it's important that we
have served in the military, but

1251
01:19:53,200 --> 01:19:56,280
it's a fact that when you serve
in the military, you need to

1252
01:19:57,440 --> 01:20:01,320
unwind for a while because
you're you're in kill mode and

1253
01:20:01,480 --> 01:20:03,080
you're not as much in field
mode.

1254
01:20:03,560 --> 01:20:09,200
And you, a lot of veterans, they
will have the depression and the

1255
01:20:09,200 --> 01:20:13,000
suicide hire because they're
used to that fast-paced life,

1256
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:17,080
that high dopamine life of the
danger response emergency.

1257
01:20:19,120 --> 01:20:21,120
And and real life isn't like
that.

1258
01:20:21,400 --> 01:20:23,720
You know, God hates war.
And I get that.

1259
01:20:23,720 --> 01:20:26,920
We do need to defend ourselves
and we do need, you know, to

1260
01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:30,920
protect each other and to to not
just get stepped on.

1261
01:20:30,920 --> 01:20:33,000
You know, the Book of Mormon is
not a pacifist book.

1262
01:20:33,520 --> 01:20:36,040
No.
And that's another thing is as

1263
01:20:36,040 --> 01:20:38,560
parents, we we can't be
pacifists.

1264
01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:42,360
We have to be involved.
There's things worse than, you

1265
01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:45,320
know, let's, you know, the
quintessential example of of

1266
01:20:45,320 --> 01:20:47,400
controversy and parenting the
spank, right.

1267
01:20:47,520 --> 01:20:49,560
Or whatever it is.
There's things worse than that.

1268
01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:51,800
Is it?
Is it sad and and all that?

1269
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,120
Yeah.
Is it ideal?

1270
01:20:53,120 --> 01:20:54,960
Probably not.
But there's things that are

1271
01:20:54,960 --> 01:20:56,520
worse.
If that's the tool in your

1272
01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:59,840
toolbox that is going to be the
most effective at that time of

1273
01:20:59,840 --> 01:21:03,720
that problem.
Because for example, what's

1274
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:07,880
worse, People getting taken
advantage of by tyrants or

1275
01:21:08,040 --> 01:21:10,080
having a war, having a
revolution.

1276
01:21:10,560 --> 01:21:13,720
And obviously there's dangers
but but yeah, we we're not

1277
01:21:13,720 --> 01:21:15,480
pacifists.
The scriptures are not

1278
01:21:15,480 --> 01:21:19,240
pacifists.
This doesn't mean you know that

1279
01:21:19,280 --> 01:21:21,600
the middle of the Book of Mormon
does have an account where the

1280
01:21:21,840 --> 01:21:25,120
the people lay down their lives.
That anti Nephi Lehi is right.

1281
01:21:25,120 --> 01:21:28,240
The covenant.
Hey we've been way overboard on

1282
01:21:28,240 --> 01:21:31,680
the war we need to step it back.
We're going to, we're not

1283
01:21:31,680 --> 01:21:35,160
getting involved anymore.
We're done and and this is kind

1284
01:21:35,160 --> 01:21:38,720
of how we're apologizing for
how, how, how we were out of

1285
01:21:38,720 --> 01:21:41,080
balance in the past but then
they go ahead and have their

1286
01:21:41,080 --> 01:21:44,920
sons go to war you know because
so they're not saying like at

1287
01:21:44,920 --> 01:21:49,440
all times you know war is bad.
That was a little tangent but it

1288
01:21:49,440 --> 01:21:51,520
was important.
And the anti science yeah that's

1289
01:21:51,520 --> 01:21:53,840
what we were talking about.
So, so yeah, these studies are

1290
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:56,280
showing that all these
medications that we're giving

1291
01:21:56,280 --> 01:22:02,360
our kids, it's pretty crazy and
and and we're finding out.

1292
01:22:02,360 --> 01:22:03,560
That.
Oh crap.

1293
01:22:03,560 --> 01:22:10,600
We we the controls were not in
place and and major problems are

1294
01:22:10,600 --> 01:22:13,440
happening now.
One of the really smart

1295
01:22:13,440 --> 01:22:18,480
parenting tips that I like from
this book was he said, these

1296
01:22:18,480 --> 01:22:23,280
first person shooters, you know,
for one thing, they they it's

1297
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:26,400
glorifying the violence.
But for two, it's that high

1298
01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:28,920
dopamine, right?
So he says, what are we going to

1299
01:22:28,920 --> 01:22:30,720
do about it?
Well, for one, obviously don't

1300
01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:32,960
have them in your home.
But for two, and this is the

1301
01:22:32,960 --> 01:22:37,040
bold part, don't let your kid go
to play at a house where these

1302
01:22:37,040 --> 01:22:39,960
kind of games are going to be
played, because we have to

1303
01:22:39,960 --> 01:22:43,160
expect that our kids will behave
even when they're not at our

1304
01:22:43,160 --> 01:22:45,960
house.
And there's this popular mantra

1305
01:22:45,960 --> 01:22:49,200
of oh you know kids will be kids
and and you can't control them

1306
01:22:49,200 --> 01:22:50,480
all the time and they've got to
go and.

1307
01:22:50,800 --> 01:22:56,760
And sure.
And I'm I'm.

1308
01:22:56,760 --> 01:23:00,320
Sure, Oprah, you know.
Promotes promotes that a lot.

1309
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:02,880
It's not really based by the
studies.

1310
01:23:04,640 --> 01:23:07,520
He even suggests hey drop.
In on your kids if they're.

1311
01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:11,440
At somebody's house on a on an
activity or something, You can

1312
01:23:11,440 --> 01:23:14,640
drop in unannounced because you
expect them to behave the same

1313
01:23:14,640 --> 01:23:18,000
way at home as you do at school.
And then this ties into the

1314
01:23:18,000 --> 01:23:21,240
school discipline too.
It used to be that the parents

1315
01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:24,480
and the administrators of the
school were on the same team to

1316
01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:27,240
where if you got in trouble at
school, you came home and guess

1317
01:23:27,240 --> 01:23:28,920
what?
Your parents got you in more

1318
01:23:28,920 --> 01:23:33,200
trouble, right?
Because the parents expect the

1319
01:23:33,200 --> 01:23:35,880
kids to behave themselves even
when they're not at home.

1320
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,440
And that's that's integrity,
right?

1321
01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:38,800
It's what you do.
And no one's looking.

1322
01:23:39,080 --> 01:23:41,000
And that's what we're trying to
do is train our kids to have

1323
01:23:41,000 --> 01:23:44,440
integrity.
So But isn't that assuming that

1324
01:23:44,440 --> 01:23:47,840
the school and?
And and I hate going back to

1325
01:23:47,840 --> 01:23:50,960
this, but I'm, I'm going to, I
got a call a spade.

1326
01:23:50,960 --> 01:23:53,520
A spade here.
That's assuming the school has

1327
01:23:53,520 --> 01:23:58,160
your same values.
Yeah, that's decreasingly true.

1328
01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:04,000
I remember when I was a kid, the
elder Robert D Hales gave a talk

1329
01:24:04,360 --> 01:24:08,840
where he said it used to be that
society, the the standards of

1330
01:24:08,840 --> 01:24:13,440
society and the standards of the
church are like close, but now

1331
01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:18,360
they're way apart and that's
always stuck with me that.

1332
01:24:18,680 --> 01:24:20,880
And.
Then Elder Cook recently said

1333
01:24:21,560 --> 01:24:25,000
we're not living in a Christian
society anymore, we're in a post

1334
01:24:25,000 --> 01:24:28,600
Christian society.
And So what we need to realize

1335
01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:32,560
is that basically the end is
near.

1336
01:24:33,080 --> 01:24:35,240
We're not a.
Christian nation anymore?

1337
01:24:35,360 --> 01:24:38,040
We can't keep relying on other
people to raise our kids.

1338
01:24:39,360 --> 01:24:42,520
So and and look, I'll be.
The first guy to admit this?

1339
01:24:42,520 --> 01:24:46,040
Too.
I remember I got called in once

1340
01:24:46,040 --> 01:24:50,640
with my oldest boy.
I got the call at work.

1341
01:24:50,680 --> 01:24:54,760
Hey, your kid was fighting.
You know, you gotta come get

1342
01:24:54,760 --> 01:24:58,280
him.
And I went in and there.

1343
01:24:58,280 --> 01:25:01,760
Was my son.
The kid he knocked out and I

1344
01:25:01,760 --> 01:25:03,360
could tell that because the.
Kid was bleeding.

1345
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:07,080
And then there was this little
Down syndrome boy that was there

1346
01:25:07,080 --> 01:25:10,200
too, But his shirt was all wet.
He looked horrible.

1347
01:25:11,200 --> 01:25:15,160
And I take my son into the
principal's office and I say,

1348
01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:18,200
OK, let's talk what happened
here?

1349
01:25:19,120 --> 01:25:21,120
And he said, well, he knocked
out this other kid.

1350
01:25:21,120 --> 01:25:23,640
And I just looked at him and I
said, Tyler, why'd you do that?

1351
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:28,440
And he said, well, he dumped his
milk on this Down syndrome boy.

1352
01:25:30,160 --> 01:25:31,680
And I got mad.
And I.

1353
01:25:32,000 --> 01:25:36,040
Cleaned his clock.
And I'll admit, Nate, I looked.

1354
01:25:36,600 --> 01:25:38,680
I look deadpan.
Right in the eyes of that

1355
01:25:38,680 --> 01:25:41,440
principal, I said you can kick
him out, but understand this is

1356
01:25:41,440 --> 01:25:45,280
going to be a vacation for him.
I'm going to take him home.

1357
01:25:45,280 --> 01:25:47,640
We're going to probably stop and
get ice cream on the way home

1358
01:25:47,640 --> 01:25:50,480
and then I may fire him up of
game of Madden to let him play

1359
01:25:51,440 --> 01:25:53,080
because.
Because here's the thing right

1360
01:25:55,080 --> 01:25:57,560
in the old days.
Like look, I've been in plenty

1361
01:25:57,560 --> 01:25:59,040
of school.
Fights, right?

1362
01:25:59,400 --> 01:26:02,880
And very rarely did they result
in me getting suspended.

1363
01:26:03,240 --> 01:26:06,000
Usually it was, I know your
football coach and you'll be

1364
01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:08,960
running extra laps, right?
And then the coach would be

1365
01:26:08,960 --> 01:26:11,160
like, what'd you do?
And I'll explain the whole

1366
01:26:11,160 --> 01:26:12,440
thing.
And sometimes I was running

1367
01:26:12,440 --> 01:26:15,840
extra laps and sometimes he was
like, don't do that crap again.

1368
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:18,760
But I get it.
Yeah, we can't make the

1369
01:26:18,760 --> 01:26:21,720
assumption any longer that the
school has the same morals,

1370
01:26:21,720 --> 01:26:24,800
values and principles that we do
because they don't.

1371
01:26:26,480 --> 01:26:31,000
They talk a good game about just
being on the side of that kid,

1372
01:26:31,640 --> 01:26:32,760
but that's not what they're
saying.

1373
01:26:33,000 --> 01:26:35,720
What they're saying is we want
our values and principles

1374
01:26:35,720 --> 01:26:37,400
instilled in your kid and not
yours.

1375
01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:49,200
Yeah, absolutely.
So yeah, we've talked about the

1376
01:26:49,200 --> 01:26:50,960
education.
Part here and.

1377
01:26:50,960 --> 01:27:00,240
There he he points out How are
the most successful schools

1378
01:27:00,520 --> 01:27:03,760
around the world are those that
don't have the tech gadgets.

1379
01:27:04,360 --> 01:27:07,040
In other words, we don't have to
turn our classrooms into arcade

1380
01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:09,960
rooms.
It's the schools with the good

1381
01:27:09,960 --> 01:27:13,240
old pencil and paper and the the
the board on the wall is just a

1382
01:27:13,240 --> 01:27:17,720
board that you ride on.
And how there's really not

1383
01:27:17,720 --> 01:27:20,600
evidence that flooding the kids
with with all these gadgets and

1384
01:27:20,600 --> 01:27:22,480
stuff is making them actually
learn any better.

1385
01:27:25,360 --> 01:27:32,160
And how when we let the kids be,
you know, rule the roast, be the

1386
01:27:32,160 --> 01:27:38,320
disrespect that makes it, so
that there's this argument that

1387
01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:41,600
hey, you know, in America, yeah,
we're rude, but we're also

1388
01:27:41,600 --> 01:27:43,360
creative.
You know, we're the we're out of

1389
01:27:43,360 --> 01:27:46,960
history of being the inventors,
obviously, but there's nothing

1390
01:27:46,960 --> 01:27:48,840
creative about telling a teacher
to shut up.

1391
01:27:50,760 --> 01:27:54,360
And the studies show that so on
all the measures of creativity,

1392
01:27:54,360 --> 01:27:56,400
we're just falling down fast and
hard.

1393
01:27:56,640 --> 01:28:00,080
You know, America used to have
this moral backbone, and I think

1394
01:28:00,080 --> 01:28:02,560
that's why we're blessed by God
to be the inventors.

1395
01:28:02,560 --> 01:28:06,920
We were the the highest in the
education and now we're getting

1396
01:28:07,120 --> 01:28:14,480
falling way down in the ranks.
Yeah, they're the American

1397
01:28:14,480 --> 01:28:19,480
students.
Even in the colleges they're

1398
01:28:19,480 --> 01:28:23,320
they're not hard learning hardly
anything on on measures of

1399
01:28:23,320 --> 01:28:29,800
cognitive skill, critical
thinking and reasoning on 100

1400
01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:32,400
point scale.
Of of where a kid is at.

1401
01:28:32,600 --> 01:28:36,400
When they go to college, only a
third of them are going up more

1402
01:28:36,400 --> 01:28:40,680
than one point on 100 point
scale of of the cognitive skill

1403
01:28:40,680 --> 01:28:42,480
and reasoning and critical
thinking.

1404
01:28:42,480 --> 01:28:50,120
So yeah, the the argument that
we have to let the kids do what

1405
01:28:50,120 --> 01:28:55,320
they want to be creative, it's
it's just more propaganda

1406
01:28:55,320 --> 01:28:58,520
nonsense.
Because our kids now are being

1407
01:28:58,520 --> 01:29:02,200
less they're less energetic,
they're less emotionally

1408
01:29:02,200 --> 01:29:06,000
expressive, they're less
talkative, they're less verbally

1409
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:09,480
expressive, They're less
humorous, less unconventional,

1410
01:29:09,520 --> 01:29:14,280
less lively, less passionate,
less perceptive, less able to

1411
01:29:14,280 --> 01:29:17,080
connect irrelevant things.
In other words, they are less

1412
01:29:17,080 --> 01:29:21,560
creative.
So hey, look, I want to ask you

1413
01:29:21,560 --> 01:29:23,400
a question.
About the critical thinking

1414
01:29:23,400 --> 01:29:29,160
part, because I see that in in
sharp decline, yeah.

1415
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,600
What's the reasoning for the
lack of critical thinking?

1416
01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:37,440
I don't know it seems.
Like the lack of rigor is a part

1417
01:29:37,440 --> 01:29:40,760
of it.
When our schools are, you know,

1418
01:29:45,600 --> 01:29:49,480
if we, if we have to do
everything the kids way, you

1419
01:29:49,480 --> 01:29:56,720
know educators, they get If the
kid complaints about how you

1420
01:29:56,720 --> 01:29:59,240
know this teacher grades too
hard or this teacher gives too

1421
01:29:59,240 --> 01:30:01,200
hard assignments.
In other words, this teacher has

1422
01:30:01,200 --> 01:30:03,600
actual authority in their
classroom and they're telling us

1423
01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:07,280
how it's going to be, then you
know that's the teacher that the

1424
01:30:07,280 --> 01:30:10,800
kids are.
The parents are complaining and

1425
01:30:11,040 --> 01:30:12,880
they're getting those.
The the school administrators

1426
01:30:12,880 --> 01:30:15,120
are getting those phone calls
of, hey, this teacher's no good.

1427
01:30:15,120 --> 01:30:17,480
He's not, you know, being
compassionate.

1428
01:30:17,480 --> 01:30:21,920
He's not he's not working with
the kid.

1429
01:30:22,240 --> 01:30:25,920
So basically the the parents are
taking the kids side.

1430
01:30:25,960 --> 01:30:27,280
They're not backing up the
teacher.

1431
01:30:27,280 --> 01:30:30,200
When the teacher tries to have
high standards and behavior and

1432
01:30:30,200 --> 01:30:33,760
academics rather than the
parents saying, yeah, you need

1433
01:30:33,760 --> 01:30:39,800
to shape up kid, it's Oh my
goodness, we need to you know

1434
01:30:40,520 --> 01:30:45,480
call and get that teacher fired
so the the parents have lost

1435
01:30:45,480 --> 01:30:47,520
their identity as.
A leader.

1436
01:30:48,280 --> 01:30:51,000
With authority.
And they're now just someone who

1437
01:30:51,000 --> 01:30:54,280
tries to be one more friend of
the kid, right?

1438
01:30:56,280 --> 01:30:57,880
OK, I could.
I could accept.

1439
01:30:57,880 --> 01:31:02,400
That let me let.
Me give you another scenario and

1440
01:31:02,400 --> 01:31:05,080
again I'm gonna pick on.
Public education.

1441
01:31:05,560 --> 01:31:09,960
Oh yeah.
We don't teach kids how to

1442
01:31:09,960 --> 01:31:10,880
think.
Anymore we.

1443
01:31:10,880 --> 01:31:13,200
Teach them what to.
Think, yeah.

1444
01:31:14,040 --> 01:31:19,560
And that is a major departure
from this idea of critical

1445
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:22,720
thinking.
I once attended A seminar put on

1446
01:31:22,720 --> 01:31:25,000
by wall builders.
I don't know if you know who

1447
01:31:25,000 --> 01:31:29,040
they are.
Yeah, McCulloch, this, this.

1448
01:31:29,040 --> 01:31:31,000
One was with David Barton.
And his son.

1449
01:31:31,000 --> 01:31:32,560
Oh, yeah.
OK, maybe that's what I meant.

1450
01:31:32,560 --> 01:31:33,960
Yeah.
And.

1451
01:31:33,960 --> 01:31:36,360
He went over what school used to
be.

1452
01:31:36,920 --> 01:31:41,000
And so basically in the
classroom, you know you can't do

1453
01:31:41,000 --> 01:31:44,520
this with mathematics
necessarily because it's very,

1454
01:31:44,520 --> 01:31:48,280
very rigor.
You know, rigid 2 + 2 does equal

1455
01:31:48,280 --> 01:31:53,000
4, but on things like history,
things on social studies, even

1456
01:31:53,000 --> 01:31:58,200
literature, they would.
Tell the kids.

1457
01:31:58,360 --> 01:32:00,520
Back in the old days.
You need to read this.

1458
01:32:00,840 --> 01:32:05,360
And you need to understand both
sides, because in two days I'm

1459
01:32:05,360 --> 01:32:08,600
gonna ask you to debate one side
or the other so you better know

1460
01:32:08,600 --> 01:32:13,600
the argument for both sides.
We don't teach kids how to

1461
01:32:13,600 --> 01:32:15,000
think.
Anymore we just teach.

1462
01:32:15,000 --> 01:32:19,320
Them What to think.
And I do believe it's by design.

1463
01:32:19,320 --> 01:32:22,720
I don't think they want a
society any longer.

1464
01:32:22,840 --> 01:32:25,360
And when I say the they, I mean
the elites.

1465
01:32:25,920 --> 01:32:28,200
They don't want critical
thinkers any longer.

1466
01:32:28,320 --> 01:32:33,120
They just want, yes, people,
right, You're you're going to go

1467
01:32:33,120 --> 01:32:35,080
to this cubicle, You're going to
sit in this cubicle, You're

1468
01:32:35,080 --> 01:32:38,760
going to do this job for the
next however many years.

1469
01:32:39,160 --> 01:32:41,600
Maybe you change jobs, but this
is what you do.

1470
01:32:42,760 --> 01:32:45,600
That doesn't lend itself to this
idea of critical thinking.

1471
01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:49,880
They need cogs in the machine
and.

1472
01:32:50,880 --> 01:32:54,000
I think the public education.
Bears some responsibility in

1473
01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:56,720
this, right?
They they at some point

1474
01:32:56,720 --> 01:33:01,120
somewhere changed and they used
to call it catechizing.

1475
01:33:01,200 --> 01:33:03,320
There's no more catechizing in
school.

1476
01:33:03,320 --> 01:33:07,880
It's all just spit this answer
back out to me.

1477
01:33:08,560 --> 01:33:11,560
And.
That's that's a sad state of

1478
01:33:11,560 --> 01:33:15,040
affairs that will raise someone
who's not capable of critical

1479
01:33:15,040 --> 01:33:18,600
thought.
Yeah, I'd agree that the.

1480
01:33:19,040 --> 01:33:20,800
Political.
Environment.

1481
01:33:21,160 --> 01:33:24,040
You know, we're very liberal in
the education world.

1482
01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:29,480
You know, the vast majority of
college professors are all

1483
01:33:29,480 --> 01:33:36,400
liberal.
And I remember there's this

1484
01:33:36,400 --> 01:33:39,800
funny meme I saw where it showed
the the Star Wars scene where

1485
01:33:40,400 --> 01:33:43,280
there's a couple of these, you
know, Jedi and they're

1486
01:33:43,280 --> 01:33:47,480
surrounded by just thousands of
of the other team and they're

1487
01:33:47,480 --> 01:33:49,160
like surrounded and trying to
defend themselves.

1488
01:33:49,160 --> 01:33:53,160
And it's obviously a lost cause.
And and the caption on the meme

1489
01:33:53,160 --> 01:33:58,440
was basically like conservative
college professors, you know,

1490
01:33:59,480 --> 01:34:04,160
But if if our schools are
socialist, yeah, we're we're

1491
01:34:04,160 --> 01:34:06,120
going to be turning them into
workers.

1492
01:34:06,120 --> 01:34:07,680
We're not going to be turning
them into leaders.

1493
01:34:08,160 --> 01:34:15,120
And you know we just it's it's a
not good The prophets have

1494
01:34:15,120 --> 01:34:20,760
spoken against communism at
length and now it's got the

1495
01:34:20,760 --> 01:34:24,440
fancy hat called socialism and
and people don't see how they're

1496
01:34:24,680 --> 01:34:35,120
you know one leading to the
other So you made a good .1 of

1497
01:34:35,120 --> 01:34:45,640
the things as as he later in the
book he talks about.

1498
01:34:45,640 --> 01:34:49,720
How?
Parents, you know, the theme is

1499
01:34:49,720 --> 01:34:51,640
the parents need to be the boss.
All this.

1500
01:34:52,880 --> 01:34:55,560
We have this idea and like I
touched on it a little bit when

1501
01:34:55,560 --> 01:34:59,600
we talked about the food, how we
we tried offering both healthy

1502
01:34:59,600 --> 01:35:01,320
and unhealthy food at the same
time.

1503
01:35:01,320 --> 01:35:05,920
And it didn't work because the
kids, you know, were being asked

1504
01:35:05,920 --> 01:35:10,520
to do something that's just
totally beyond their their

1505
01:35:10,520 --> 01:35:14,240
ability to basically their
biological ability to say no to

1506
01:35:14,680 --> 01:35:15,840
some of this stuff that's
offered them.

1507
01:35:17,080 --> 01:35:23,240
The idea is you don't teach
virtue by teaching.

1508
01:35:23,360 --> 01:35:27,080
You have to do it by showing.
You have to require them to do

1509
01:35:27,080 --> 01:35:32,280
virtuous behavior.
So the parents can't just say,

1510
01:35:32,280 --> 01:35:33,880
hey, I.
Hope you do this the parents.

1511
01:35:33,880 --> 01:35:36,640
Have to actually drag them out
of bed, take them to go to a

1512
01:35:36,640 --> 01:35:40,160
service project and see the kid
can experience, hey, wow, this

1513
01:35:40,160 --> 01:35:43,120
actually feels good.
And I actually like helping my

1514
01:35:43,640 --> 01:35:47,840
older neighbor or whatever it
is, you know, same thing with

1515
01:35:47,840 --> 01:35:49,840
the food.
You require them to eat the good

1516
01:35:49,840 --> 01:35:52,480
food.
And it's like, oh, I actually

1517
01:35:52,960 --> 01:35:57,000
like being healthy.
And I, you know, and I get it

1518
01:35:57,000 --> 01:35:59,280
that that none of us are
perfect.

1519
01:35:59,360 --> 01:36:02,560
And as as far as parenting goes,
there's not a perfect parent.

1520
01:36:05,160 --> 01:36:07,760
There's a funny thing.
Here, Nibley said.

1521
01:36:08,320 --> 01:36:10,600
He said, I'm not a good teacher.
Let me know if you ever find

1522
01:36:10,600 --> 01:36:12,160
one.
I've never seen a good teacher.

1523
01:36:12,160 --> 01:36:13,240
Let me know if you're a fine
one.

1524
01:36:13,440 --> 01:36:15,360
And I feel like the same thing
goes for parenting, You know,

1525
01:36:15,360 --> 01:36:17,480
It's like I'm not a good parent.
I've never really seen a good

1526
01:36:17,600 --> 01:36:19,000
parent.
Let me know if you ever find

1527
01:36:19,000 --> 01:36:22,320
one.
But the pendulum has swung too

1528
01:36:22,320 --> 01:36:25,040
far.
We are too lackadaisical with

1529
01:36:25,040 --> 01:36:27,120
our kids.
Parents back in the day had more

1530
01:36:27,120 --> 01:36:32,280
authority in the Hebrew.
The doctor.

1531
01:36:32,280 --> 01:36:35,040
Sachs points out that in the
book of Deuteronomy, it says

1532
01:36:35,040 --> 01:36:36,680
teach your children diligently,
right.

1533
01:36:37,440 --> 01:36:39,720
So the Hebrew doesn't say teach
them diligent.

1534
01:36:39,720 --> 01:36:42,120
It says inscribe them on your
children.

1535
01:36:42,680 --> 01:36:46,800
And the verb it uses is is
Shannon, which means to cut with

1536
01:36:46,800 --> 01:36:50,000
a knife.
So when we're saying teach them

1537
01:36:50,000 --> 01:36:51,640
diligently, it's it's watered
down.

1538
01:36:51,800 --> 01:36:54,640
What we're really supposed to be
doing with our kids is just

1539
01:36:55,480 --> 01:37:01,480
almost the word you can use is
relentlessly showing them what

1540
01:37:01,480 --> 01:37:05,360
God's ways are.
And and yeah, it really kind of

1541
01:37:05,600 --> 01:37:08,880
shoots ourselves in the foots
and in the feet when we sent

1542
01:37:08,880 --> 01:37:10,840
them to schools that that are
godless.

1543
01:37:13,280 --> 01:37:15,280
We have to show them what it
means to be virtuous.

1544
01:37:15,280 --> 01:37:18,360
We have to you teach them about
Mother Teresa so they know what

1545
01:37:18,360 --> 01:37:20,840
it's like to be a selfless
person.

1546
01:37:20,840 --> 01:37:26,120
We have to teach them about real
relationships so they're not

1547
01:37:26,320 --> 01:37:27,960
doing the porn and the
masturbation.

1548
01:37:27,960 --> 01:37:30,480
We have to show them what real
adventures are so they're not

1549
01:37:30,480 --> 01:37:35,800
just doing the video games.
We have to set limits.

1550
01:37:35,800 --> 01:37:39,760
We, you know, sending them off,
Does your kid really need a cell

1551
01:37:39,760 --> 01:37:43,080
phone?
Doctor Sachs points out how a

1552
01:37:43,080 --> 01:37:47,200
lot of the parents will be the
ones who complain if your kids,

1553
01:37:47,200 --> 01:37:50,160
the one who doesn't have the
phone, a lot of the kids are

1554
01:37:50,160 --> 01:37:51,960
like, yeah, no, he just doesn't
have a phone.

1555
01:37:51,960 --> 01:37:54,480
That's fine.
But the parents are like, Oh my

1556
01:37:54,480 --> 01:37:58,240
gosh, what are you doing?
Because these parents who are,

1557
01:37:58,320 --> 01:38:01,520
I'm not saying nobody can give
their kid a phone.

1558
01:38:01,520 --> 01:38:05,160
I'm saying it's going to vary
case by case, of course based on

1559
01:38:05,160 --> 01:38:08,960
your kids maturity and what his
needs are and you know how

1560
01:38:08,960 --> 01:38:14,440
responsible he is.
But I mean the parents who are

1561
01:38:14,440 --> 01:38:16,080
overindulgent.
They often get the.

1562
01:38:17,600 --> 01:38:23,120
They harass the parents who are,
who are responsible because they

1563
01:38:23,120 --> 01:38:26,960
feel bad about, you know,
subconsciously perhaps, about

1564
01:38:26,960 --> 01:38:29,800
how they're being overindulgent.
And so when you're.

1565
01:38:29,800 --> 01:38:31,440
When you're raising your kid
with limits.

1566
01:38:31,800 --> 01:38:35,760
When you're being the authority
figure in that kids life, you're

1567
01:38:35,760 --> 01:38:38,840
going to have neighbors, you're
going to have church people,

1568
01:38:38,840 --> 01:38:40,960
you're going to have everybody
saying you're being too strict,

1569
01:38:40,960 --> 01:38:43,680
you're being too religious,
you're doing this and that.

1570
01:38:43,680 --> 01:38:47,240
But that's part of the Christian
cross is being willing to have

1571
01:38:47,240 --> 01:38:52,360
that persecution of our friends,
our family, saying that, that

1572
01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:54,680
we're doing it wrong.
We're going to ruin our kids by

1573
01:38:54,680 --> 01:38:57,920
being too strict.
So that's it's a big thing with

1574
01:38:57,920 --> 01:39:00,880
that.
It's one of the crosses that

1575
01:39:01,160 --> 01:39:04,280
that a responsible parent is
going to face when he does his

1576
01:39:04,280 --> 01:39:06,560
job.
You know, the the job

1577
01:39:06,560 --> 01:39:09,320
description of a parent is to
help the kid explore their full

1578
01:39:09,320 --> 01:39:12,400
potential.
And that that potential isn't in

1579
01:39:12,400 --> 01:39:16,840
the gaming for, you know, 20
hours a week.

1580
01:39:16,840 --> 01:39:19,640
And and a lot of these kids,
they'll come to their parent and

1581
01:39:19,640 --> 01:39:22,640
they'll say, hey, I want to be a
professional gamer.

1582
01:39:23,040 --> 01:39:27,520
I want to, you know, and the
parents might say, oh, nobody

1583
01:39:27,520 --> 01:39:28,680
can do that.
And they're like, Oh, yeah, they

1584
01:39:28,680 --> 01:39:30,280
can.
And it's true, there are the

1585
01:39:30,280 --> 01:39:33,480
professional gamers.
But is that your potential in

1586
01:39:33,480 --> 01:39:35,840
life?
Like, is that why you're here on

1587
01:39:35,840 --> 01:39:37,240
Earth?
Is that how you're going to

1588
01:39:37,240 --> 01:39:41,000
maximize who you are?
And the answer is no.

1589
01:39:41,000 --> 01:39:43,520
And the parent needs to be the
person who can say, who can

1590
01:39:43,520 --> 01:39:46,680
break their bubble and say, hey,
sorry, man, you're not going to

1591
01:39:46,680 --> 01:39:48,240
the NBA.
I'm sorry, man.

1592
01:39:48,400 --> 01:39:51,000
You're not going to be that
video game tester, like, sorry,

1593
01:39:51,000 --> 01:39:55,360
man, You know, you're not going
to, you know, be a heart

1594
01:39:55,360 --> 01:39:58,320
surgeon.
Like somebody's got to have that

1595
01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:01,080
tough love to expose to them
these things.

1596
01:40:01,560 --> 01:40:03,800
And and that doesn't mean you
don't encourage them, but it

1597
01:40:03,800 --> 01:40:07,320
means you need to be the person
in the room who loves them

1598
01:40:07,320 --> 01:40:10,800
enough to give them a reality
check and to help them make,

1599
01:40:10,800 --> 01:40:15,440
like, realistic goals, not just
live in this fairy land of all

1600
01:40:15,440 --> 01:40:20,040
these bizarre careers, the
bizarre, you know, fantasy

1601
01:40:20,040 --> 01:40:21,760
lives.
Does that kind of make sense?

1602
01:40:22,480 --> 01:40:24,000
No, that that makes sense.
So.

1603
01:40:25,240 --> 01:40:27,200
Here's what I've discovered.
So I've.

1604
01:40:27,280 --> 01:40:31,080
I've raised six kids.
Now, and somehow this is more

1605
01:40:31,080 --> 01:40:33,800
due to their mom than me,
somehow they've all turned out

1606
01:40:33,800 --> 01:40:36,400
to be productive.
I don't know how, but they have.

1607
01:40:38,920 --> 01:40:40,760
Here's what we always told our
kids, right?

1608
01:40:40,760 --> 01:40:43,200
'Cause our kids had had.
Dreams that they wanted to

1609
01:40:43,200 --> 01:40:46,840
fulfill, right?
Rather than shoot those down,

1610
01:40:46,960 --> 01:40:50,480
'cause I I don't believe that we
should necessarily limit our

1611
01:40:50,480 --> 01:40:55,640
kids's potential either, right?
If they have a goal, they want

1612
01:40:55,640 --> 01:40:57,160
to go attain, go attain.
It.

1613
01:40:57,600 --> 01:41:01,360
But what I've always told my
kids is have a backup in mind.

1614
01:41:02,640 --> 01:41:07,360
I remember I I, my son was
really good at basketball,

1615
01:41:07,480 --> 01:41:10,200
really good.
And then one day I had to have

1616
01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:13,200
an uncomfortable conversation
with him and be like, look,

1617
01:41:14,320 --> 01:41:17,280
you're not 6/7.
You're not.

1618
01:41:17,280 --> 01:41:20,920
Black, The chances of you being
able to make it as a pro

1619
01:41:20,920 --> 01:41:23,560
basketball player are slim to
none, my man.

1620
01:41:24,000 --> 01:41:27,720
However, I don't want you to
give up on your dream, but let's

1621
01:41:27,720 --> 01:41:30,000
have like something to fall back
on.

1622
01:41:30,000 --> 01:41:32,960
Let's just pretend you don't get
to your place.

1623
01:41:33,160 --> 01:41:35,240
What else would you like to do,
right?

1624
01:41:35,560 --> 01:41:38,880
In the case of my boy, he was
like, well, I suppose if I

1625
01:41:38,880 --> 01:41:45,520
couldn't, if I couldn't be a a
basketball player, I would like

1626
01:41:45,520 --> 01:41:49,840
to be the guys who who like tape
them up the physical therapists

1627
01:41:50,600 --> 01:41:52,680
and I'm like perfect.
Then you know what?

1628
01:41:52,680 --> 01:41:54,840
Make that your backup plan,
right.

1629
01:41:54,840 --> 01:41:58,400
And then as he got to about 17
he's like, Oh yeah, this ain't

1630
01:41:58,400 --> 01:42:00,360
happening for me.
I'm not even getting a

1631
01:42:00,360 --> 01:42:04,440
scholarship right.
But he had something else in

1632
01:42:04,440 --> 01:42:06,560
mind.
So I I'm not a big proponent of

1633
01:42:06,560 --> 01:42:11,320
squash your kids dream but but
maybe have a backup there right

1634
01:42:12,800 --> 01:42:15,720
I wanna go I.
I wanna go back.

1635
01:42:15,720 --> 01:42:24,120
To to the the the thing with
discipline, right I never.

1636
01:42:24,120 --> 01:42:26,600
Had to spank my kids once they
were past the.

1637
01:42:26,600 --> 01:42:30,000
Age of like 8.
Normally by then they had those

1638
01:42:30,000 --> 01:42:34,640
things figured out, right?
So, so I would say, you know

1639
01:42:34,640 --> 01:42:37,920
there's an age at which you
hopefully if you've done your

1640
01:42:37,920 --> 01:42:42,040
job you can get away from that.
The other thing I'll say is that

1641
01:42:42,040 --> 01:42:47,920
sometimes as a parent I found I
had to get inventive with

1642
01:42:47,920 --> 01:42:50,160
discipline.
Let me give you a story, an

1643
01:42:50,160 --> 01:42:54,040
example.
My daughter who was always a

1644
01:42:54,040 --> 01:42:57,120
good girl, my oldest daughter
super responsible.

1645
01:42:57,640 --> 01:43:01,680
She tested me for about 6 months
of her life and I remember once,

1646
01:43:01,680 --> 01:43:06,600
and this is when we lived in
Boise and it was right after.

1647
01:43:06,600 --> 01:43:09,600
Christmas and as a gag.
Gift because I used to sit down

1648
01:43:09,600 --> 01:43:12,480
with my youngest kids and we'd
watch SpongeBob and laugh.

1649
01:43:13,000 --> 01:43:17,800
But as a gag gift, they got me a
pair of SpongeBob pajama bottoms

1650
01:43:18,720 --> 01:43:20,320
that were maybe a little too
tight.

1651
01:43:21,200 --> 01:43:25,320
And one day, my daughter, she
says, hey, I want to go with

1652
01:43:25,320 --> 01:43:27,360
these older girls to the mall.
Can I go?

1653
01:43:27,360 --> 01:43:30,040
And I was like, sweetheart, I'd
really prefer that you didn't.

1654
01:43:30,400 --> 01:43:34,520
I don't know, these girls let's,
you know, let's kind of, you

1655
01:43:34,520 --> 01:43:36,680
know, why don't I meet him first
and then we'll see.

1656
01:43:36,680 --> 01:43:39,640
And she's like, OK.
And then she went downstairs

1657
01:43:40,840 --> 01:43:43,880
about an hour later.
I was like, I haven't seen her.

1658
01:43:43,880 --> 01:43:49,640
I better go check on her.
She'd snuck off, but I had a

1659
01:43:49,640 --> 01:43:51,520
pretty good idea of.
Where she was going to be.

1660
01:43:53,240 --> 01:43:56,360
So what I did is.
I went in and I found the.

1661
01:43:56,360 --> 01:43:59,560
Tightest fitting T-shirt that I
could find along with those

1662
01:43:59,560 --> 01:44:04,760
SpongeBob pajamas And I tracked
her down because I had an app on

1663
01:44:04,760 --> 01:44:09,360
her phone and as I walked into
JC Penney's where she was

1664
01:44:09,480 --> 01:44:13,120
stopping with this other girl, I
walked in right behind her and

1665
01:44:13,120 --> 01:44:16,760
I'm like, yo dog can I hang?
And she turned around and just

1666
01:44:16,760 --> 01:44:21,160
to her horror, I am wearing
clothes that were way too tight,

1667
01:44:21,520 --> 01:44:23,720
way too loud and way too
obnoxious.

1668
01:44:24,080 --> 01:44:26,600
From that point on, I could
always look at her and be like,

1669
01:44:26,600 --> 01:44:28,720
sweetheart, do we need to go to
the mall and go shopping?

1670
01:44:29,120 --> 01:44:32,320
And she'd straighten right up.
So you you.

1671
01:44:32,840 --> 01:44:36,760
There are ways that you can
discipline as well, that are

1672
01:44:36,760 --> 01:44:38,720
just as effective as anything
else.

1673
01:44:38,960 --> 01:44:42,440
But you just knowing how to
discipline your kid requires

1674
01:44:42,440 --> 01:44:47,720
that you know your kid, right?
I knew for my daughter that her

1675
01:44:47,720 --> 01:44:50,040
social circle was really
important to her.

1676
01:44:50,360 --> 01:44:53,200
And if the old man was, you
know, trying to hang out with

1677
01:44:53,200 --> 01:44:56,480
her looking like a fool, that
was going to, that was going to

1678
01:44:56,480 --> 01:44:59,440
do as much as anything else.
So I would say in this,

1679
01:44:59,480 --> 01:45:01,480
disciplining your kid, get to
know your kid.

1680
01:45:01,880 --> 01:45:04,920
And here's the great news,
because they're your kids.

1681
01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:07,360
You're uniquely qualified to
come up with that.

1682
01:45:08,440 --> 01:45:11,640
Yeah, you have the, the.
Authority to do that.

1683
01:45:11,720 --> 01:45:15,800
You're the you know your
ecclesiastical leaders don't you

1684
01:45:15,800 --> 01:45:20,280
know there's lines of authority
right to where you get to be the

1685
01:45:20,280 --> 01:45:22,960
parent and you get to get the
revelation for that.

1686
01:45:25,200 --> 01:45:30,800
One of the one of the things
that I wanted.

1687
01:45:30,800 --> 01:45:35,680
To read was this Joseph?
Smith again talks about how how

1688
01:45:35,680 --> 01:45:38,400
involved you know this.
This applies to how involved a

1689
01:45:38,400 --> 01:45:43,840
parent has to be says if
children are to be brought up in

1690
01:45:43,840 --> 01:45:45,040
the way.
They should go to.

1691
01:45:45,040 --> 01:45:48,280
Be good citizens here and happy
hereafter.

1692
01:45:48,560 --> 01:45:51,160
They must be taught.
It is idle to suppose that

1693
01:45:51,160 --> 01:45:54,440
children will grow up good with
while surrounded with wickedness

1694
01:45:54,600 --> 01:45:56,920
without cultivation.
It is followed to suppose they

1695
01:45:56,920 --> 01:45:58,440
can become learned without
education.

1696
01:45:59,920 --> 01:46:03,080
So in other words, we.
Need to educate their.

1697
01:46:03,080 --> 01:46:07,640
Desires, you know.
You know show them the classical

1698
01:46:07,640 --> 01:46:13,000
music so they can recognize that
the garbage on the radio is, is

1699
01:46:13,200 --> 01:46:16,040
is nonsense.
You know we have to expose them

1700
01:46:16,040 --> 01:46:21,960
to all the good or else they're
not going to be able to to to be

1701
01:46:21,960 --> 01:46:24,640
able to recognize, you know,
they're they're still going to

1702
01:46:24,640 --> 01:46:28,240
be in the world, but they'll be
able to see kind of like when

1703
01:46:28,240 --> 01:46:32,240
Moses, you know, he met with the
devil and then he after he met

1704
01:46:32,240 --> 01:46:35,760
with the Lord and he's like, no,
I'm not interested in in the

1705
01:46:35,760 --> 01:46:37,920
devil's stuff because I know
what it's like.

1706
01:46:37,920 --> 01:46:40,440
I know what the real life is.
I know what the good life is

1707
01:46:43,280 --> 01:46:44,680
and.
And kids will kick and.

1708
01:46:44,680 --> 01:46:47,120
Scream, You know, like, oh,
you're not going to let me do

1709
01:46:47,120 --> 01:46:48,160
this.
You're not going to let me do

1710
01:46:48,160 --> 01:46:51,000
that.
I I can't have my boyfriend over

1711
01:46:51,000 --> 01:46:53,480
in my bedroom.
Like like some of these things

1712
01:46:53,480 --> 01:46:59,400
that we're going to draw the
line and say no way, Jose, these

1713
01:46:59,400 --> 01:47:02,320
kids might think, you know.
Doctor Sachs, he says.

1714
01:47:02,440 --> 01:47:05,240
These kids will think, gosh, I'm
going to need therapy from all

1715
01:47:05,240 --> 01:47:07,160
the trauma my parents are
putting me through.

1716
01:47:08,120 --> 01:47:11,040
But then those kids grow up and
they see that it's all the other

1717
01:47:11,040 --> 01:47:14,200
kids whose parents were very
permissive but just let them

1718
01:47:14,200 --> 01:47:16,760
kind of run wild.
Those are the kids that needed

1719
01:47:16,760 --> 01:47:18,640
the therapy.
Those are the kids whose lives

1720
01:47:18,640 --> 01:47:22,520
were a wreck.
So the kids who are.

1721
01:47:22,520 --> 01:47:23,480
Who are well-rounded.
They're.

1722
01:47:23,480 --> 01:47:28,080
Getting they're being required,
you know, rigorous chores, even

1723
01:47:29,440 --> 01:47:32,400
if it doesn't require an
electric current doctor, Sachs

1724
01:47:32,400 --> 01:47:34,800
says.
Get your own family to do it.

1725
01:47:35,960 --> 01:47:40,360
Work with them and, you know,
show them that real life means

1726
01:47:40,360 --> 01:47:42,640
work.
He he talks about one family.

1727
01:47:42,640 --> 01:47:48,320
Who they?
A recreation they.

1728
01:47:48,320 --> 01:47:52,000
Had was this kid gets to play
baseball and but after the

1729
01:47:52,000 --> 01:47:55,960
baseball game was over, they
were it was time to do the

1730
01:47:55,960 --> 01:47:59,440
chores and the other kids were
going out for a meal after the

1731
01:47:59,440 --> 01:48:03,480
baseball game and these parents
were like, no, sorry, you had

1732
01:48:03,480 --> 01:48:09,640
your break time.
I don't mean break time because

1733
01:48:09,640 --> 01:48:11,400
we're not, like, constantly
requiring our kids to.

1734
01:48:11,400 --> 01:48:12,680
Work, right?
They're not.

1735
01:48:12,720 --> 01:48:15,240
They're.
Not slaves, but but we are

1736
01:48:15,360 --> 01:48:18,320
trying to get them to cultivate
and to be wise with their time

1737
01:48:18,640 --> 01:48:20,240
anyway.
This family on this occasion,

1738
01:48:20,240 --> 01:48:23,080
they said, no, we're not doing
that after game lunch because

1739
01:48:23,280 --> 01:48:24,760
it's time to.
We got stuff to do.

1740
01:48:24,760 --> 01:48:31,280
But the general principle there
is, you know, the the family

1741
01:48:31,280 --> 01:48:33,600
comes first.
And and that.

1742
01:48:33,600 --> 01:48:37,680
The kids don't get to, you know,
the the peers.

1743
01:48:37,960 --> 01:48:44,800
That's not the top priority.
So, absolutely, yeah,

1744
01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:48,680
absolutely.
All right.

1745
01:48:49,080 --> 01:48:50,840
What else is in there for?
Us.

1746
01:48:51,560 --> 01:48:57,160
I.
Thomas Sol, he said.

1747
01:48:57,600 --> 01:49:02,240
Each new generation is.
Born, In effect, each new

1748
01:49:02,240 --> 01:49:04,800
generation born.
Is in effect an.

1749
01:49:04,800 --> 01:49:08,000
Invasion of civilization by
little Barbarians who must be

1750
01:49:08,000 --> 01:49:14,920
civilized before it is too late.
So yeah, that's about all I

1751
01:49:14,920 --> 01:49:17,520
have.
But no, that's that's good

1752
01:49:17,520 --> 01:49:20,720
stuff.
That's good stuff.

1753
01:49:21,160 --> 01:49:22,760
Anything you want to say in
conclusion?

1754
01:49:25,400 --> 01:49:28,160
Sax.
He says the culture of social

1755
01:49:28,160 --> 01:49:30,680
media is the antithesis of
humility.

1756
01:49:31,200 --> 01:49:33,440
And a lot of the time, if your
kid is remaining rude.

1757
01:49:33,440 --> 01:49:37,440
If your kids rude and remaining
rude, social media is often the

1758
01:49:37,440 --> 01:49:41,600
root problem.
So parents, please be careful

1759
01:49:41,680 --> 01:49:45,080
about how much these these kids
are getting access to to social

1760
01:49:45,080 --> 01:49:48,600
media.
The the Prince of the air, right

1761
01:49:48,600 --> 01:49:50,800
the the Bible calls the devil
the Prince of the air.

1762
01:49:51,280 --> 01:49:54,440
So watch out for that's a big
one.

1763
01:49:54,720 --> 01:49:57,480
They're they're getting taught.
If they spend a lot of time on

1764
01:49:57,480 --> 01:49:59,960
these social media platforms,
they're learning that that's

1765
01:49:59,960 --> 01:50:01,760
what matters.
You know what?

1766
01:50:01,760 --> 01:50:04,080
How you did your makeup is is a
really important part of your

1767
01:50:04,080 --> 01:50:10,360
identity when it's not.
And so just really toning down

1768
01:50:10,360 --> 01:50:14,920
the time you know if, if any,
access to those things can be a

1769
01:50:14,920 --> 01:50:17,720
big one of the solutions there
too.

1770
01:50:18,040 --> 01:50:22,520
But again, the parent you know
that's where the parent is, is

1771
01:50:22,800 --> 01:50:25,160
is exercising his.
Or her.

1772
01:50:25,160 --> 01:50:28,520
Authority to to say what will
and will not fly.

1773
01:50:28,800 --> 01:50:32,000
And that's the parents job, even
if they're even if your kid

1774
01:50:32,000 --> 01:50:34,560
doesn't like you.
A lot of the doctor Sachs says a

1775
01:50:34,560 --> 01:50:38,640
lot of the kids will.
You know I don't like you, you

1776
01:50:38,640 --> 01:50:40,000
know they say this to their
parents.

1777
01:50:40,160 --> 01:50:44,240
And he says the parents job
description is not to have your

1778
01:50:44,240 --> 01:50:46,920
kids like you.
You know, as hard as that is,

1779
01:50:47,960 --> 01:50:53,360
your job as a parent is, is to
be responsible to to train up

1780
01:50:53,360 --> 01:50:56,000
your kid in what's going to
what's going to be the best for

1781
01:50:56,000 --> 01:51:00,840
them, even if even if they go
for for some chapters of their

1782
01:51:00,840 --> 01:51:05,400
lives resenting you for it.
So, good stuff.

1783
01:51:05,800 --> 01:51:11,920
All right, I'll wrap up.
With this, I said this earlier

1784
01:51:11,920 --> 01:51:16,920
and I really, really mean it.
The time for half measures is

1785
01:51:16,920 --> 01:51:21,000
over, absolutely, and we are
now.

1786
01:51:24,320 --> 01:51:27,560
We are now in a war for the
souls of our children.

1787
01:51:28,440 --> 01:51:33,600
Understand that it's an actual
war for the souls of our kids.

1788
01:51:35,000 --> 01:51:39,800
The adversary wants them.
There's a reason that every

1789
01:51:39,800 --> 01:51:44,800
dictator that has ever existed
has almost always had some sort

1790
01:51:44,800 --> 01:51:48,600
of youth program, whether that
was the Hitler Youth, whether

1791
01:51:48,600 --> 01:51:52,160
that was Mao, whether that was
Stalin and Lenin.

1792
01:51:52,760 --> 01:51:54,960
They all had some sort of youth
program.

1793
01:51:56,640 --> 01:51:59,560
We are in a fight for the.
Souls of our children.

1794
01:52:00,640 --> 01:52:03,720
That's not being hyperbolic.
That is not.

1795
01:52:03,880 --> 01:52:10,080
Me overstating the case.
It is the truth if we are.

1796
01:52:10,080 --> 01:52:14,400
On a war footing, we may.
Have to do some stuff that seem

1797
01:52:17,240 --> 01:52:22,320
somewhat over the top and that,
but that's just the the callings

1798
01:52:22,320 --> 01:52:27,280
of our times if you are a
family.

1799
01:52:28,360 --> 01:52:31,440
That.
Has to have two incomes to make

1800
01:52:31,440 --> 01:52:34,440
it work.
Might be time to think about

1801
01:52:34,600 --> 01:52:39,280
really reassessing where it is
you're living and what kind of

1802
01:52:39,280 --> 01:52:42,320
conveniences are worth your kids
soul.

1803
01:52:43,520 --> 01:52:45,720
And I don't know how else to put
that and I.

1804
01:52:45,720 --> 01:52:47,240
Get that?
There's going to be a lot of

1805
01:52:47,240 --> 01:52:51,120
people mad at me, but I'm just
going to call it like I see it.

1806
01:52:52,800 --> 01:52:54,440
If that's the case, maybe it's
time.

1807
01:52:54,440 --> 01:52:56,800
To move maybe?
It's time to find some place

1808
01:52:56,800 --> 01:52:59,240
where you can't afford to live
off of 1 income.

1809
01:52:59,440 --> 01:53:01,000
They're out there, believe it or
not.

1810
01:53:01,320 --> 01:53:03,640
You just have to look, and you
just have to be willing to

1811
01:53:03,640 --> 01:53:08,840
sacrifice.
Next, we better get real

1812
01:53:08,840 --> 01:53:13,240
comfortable with the idea that
we can start educating our own

1813
01:53:13,240 --> 01:53:16,760
children.
The public school system is

1814
01:53:16,760 --> 01:53:19,960
lost, OK?
It's lost morally.

1815
01:53:21,200 --> 01:53:23,080
Look at the amount of rooms that
have.

1816
01:53:23,400 --> 01:53:25,960
And I'm sorry, the.
Rainbow flags draped up there.

1817
01:53:26,520 --> 01:53:29,080
OK, that's prevalent.
Now.

1818
01:53:29,080 --> 01:53:32,360
It's not just the one weird
teacher who smoked a little too

1819
01:53:32,360 --> 01:53:36,200
much dope in school, right?
It's everywhere.

1820
01:53:36,200 --> 01:53:41,360
Now here's the good news.
You as parents are uniquely

1821
01:53:41,360 --> 01:53:47,640
qualified to not just teach your
children morals and good

1822
01:53:47,640 --> 01:53:51,040
behavior.
You You're uniquely qualified to

1823
01:53:51,040 --> 01:53:55,240
educate your children, and it's
never really been easier than

1824
01:53:55,240 --> 01:53:57,760
what it is now.
There's all sorts of alternative

1825
01:53:57,760 --> 01:54:01,440
programs you can have your kids
in, There's all sorts of

1826
01:54:01,440 --> 01:54:04,960
CURRICULI out there for you, and
if you don't know how to do it,

1827
01:54:05,560 --> 01:54:08,360
YouTube's got plenty of
suggestions on this.

1828
01:54:09,000 --> 01:54:12,520
Just like it's a tool for the
adversary to spew crap, it's

1829
01:54:12,520 --> 01:54:16,960
also a tool for the for for God
to put out good content.

1830
01:54:16,960 --> 01:54:18,520
And there is good content out
there.

1831
01:54:20,000 --> 01:54:22,840
But the days of passive
parenting are over.

1832
01:54:23,000 --> 01:54:26,280
They no longer work.
We have moved into a different

1833
01:54:26,280 --> 01:54:30,360
frame of existence, and it's
time to recognize that and act

1834
01:54:30,360 --> 01:54:33,840
accordingly, 'cause make no
doubt we are in a war for the

1835
01:54:33,840 --> 01:54:37,680
souls of our children.
Yeah, Nate, dude, that was good

1836
01:54:37,680 --> 01:54:39,840
stuff.
We'll get you back on again for

1837
01:54:39,840 --> 01:54:40,960
something else.
All right.

1838
01:54:42,200 --> 01:54:42,880
OK.
Thanks a lot.

1839
01:54:43,320 --> 01:54:44,320
Awesome.
All right.

1840
01:54:44,320 --> 01:55:17,030
Bye, everybody.
You're listening to the Mormon

1841
01:55:17,030 --> 01:55:18,390
Renegade Podcast.