Episode #60: Dave Goes To Relief Society W/Anne, Melissa, Andrea, Charlotte, & Terresa

1
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,700
One of the things we as
fundamentalist and even

2
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:09,300
traditional LDS folks fight
against all the time of

3
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:12,800
stereotypes, some of the worst
stereotypes are reserved for

4
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,400
women who are fundamentalist or
traditional LDS.

5
00:00:15,700 --> 00:00:17,800
You hear the same accusations
all the time.

6
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,200
They all must wear Prairie
dresses.

7
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:22,800
They must be so beating down in
oppressed.

8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,200
They must not be educated if
they choose to live this way and

9
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,100
the list goes on and on.
Well I think those who hold and

10
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:32,200
perpetuate those Stereotypes are
about to have some serious

11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,700
pushback on this episode, I have
five women on from various

12
00:00:35,700 --> 00:00:38,600
backgrounds and Mormon
fundamentalism to talk about

13
00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,500
their experiences as Women
Within fundamentalism.

14
00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:44,900
They are an hatch.
Andrea Jessup, Charlotte

15
00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:48,400
Erickson, Melissa Erickson.
And Theresa at the end of this

16
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,400
conversation, I think those
stereotypes will be shattered.

17
00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:55,000
So buckle up, is I go to Relief
Society on this episode of the

18
00:00:55,000 --> 00:01:02,400
Mormon Renegade podcast, So I
want to take just a few moments

19
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,300
here and just say, thank you for
listening.

20
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:07,300
I can never tell you how much it
means to me that you spend your

21
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:09,800
time here with me.
Now, on top of that.

22
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,000
Last year, I received donations,
that help me upgrade the audio

23
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,900
equipment and software.
This year, I want to do the same

24
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:18,500
thing for video.
Now, if you want to help out and

25
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:22,200
make a donation, you can do that
by going to Mormon Renegade.com,

26
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,800
and making a donation.
They're also check out the

27
00:01:24,808 --> 00:01:28,500
Mormon Renegade, supply store at
Mormon, Renegade.com, and pick

28
00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:30,900
up some merch.
Now, if you can't do Do any of

29
00:01:30,900 --> 00:01:34,200
those I completely understand.
It's not like it's been a banner

30
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,500
year necessarily for our
finances so maybe just keep the

31
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,900
podcast in your prayers.
Finally, as I've started to do

32
00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:44,900
more video, there's a YouTube
channel up for the podcast but

33
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,900
just between you and me.
Yeah, I'm going to be there very

34
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,500
long.
So I have a feeling on my kicked

35
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,600
off.
So to stay one step ahead of

36
00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,200
that.
I've made a channel on Rumble,

37
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:56,700
so head on over to rumble, look
up the Mormon Renegade podcast

38
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,800
Channel there and Crush that
like And subscribe button.

39
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,800
Thank you.
Been very careful on this

40
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,700
podcast to only advertise for
items that I feel will add value

41
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:08,699
and purpose in your life.
That said, I've discovered a

42
00:02:08,708 --> 00:02:11,200
book that I really believe
should be in every Mormons

43
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,400
Library.
The book is called beneath

44
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,200
sheep's clothing.
In this book, the author Julie

45
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,900
be Ling breaks down the
Communist infiltration into our

46
00:02:18,900 --> 00:02:22,500
schools institutions, and
perhaps even most distressing

47
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:25,900
our churches, the book backs up
its claims with well cited

48
00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,900
sources.
So you can go do the research

49
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:30,300
yourself.
This book will allow you to see

50
00:02:30,300 --> 00:02:33,600
the The Communist tactics and
gives you the tools on how to

51
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,400
combat this Insidious movement.
In America, Julie is right now,

52
00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,700
trying to raise money to make
the book into a documentary and

53
00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:43,700
I can't recommend donating to
this cause strongly enough.

54
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,800
So head over to Mormon
Renegade.com and you can find

55
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:50,000
the link to buy the book and
donate to the documentary in

56
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,000
this episode page or scroll down
to the very bottom of the

57
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,200
landing page at Mormon,
Renegade.com, to find a link to

58
00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:20,000
buy the book.
You're listening to the Mormon

59
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:30,400
Renegade podcast.
I've received a couple different

60
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:34,800
emails I shouldn't say a couple
quite a few emails over the last

61
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,500
six months asking to hear more
from the sisters.

62
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:44,400
So I reached out to an hatch to
maybe help me put together a

63
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:49,300
panel that could talk about
experiences and fundamentalism

64
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,800
from from a woman's point of
view.

65
00:03:52,300 --> 00:04:02,000
And so I have on Andrea Jessup
and Hatch and Teresa, I'm sorry.

66
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,500
I forgot your last name.
I'm actually going to not use my

67
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,200
last name perfect.
See I knew exactly what I was

68
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:13,400
doing and Charlotte and Melissa
Erickson.

69
00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,600
So ladies, thank you for being
here.

70
00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:22,100
It's good to be here.
So you real quick, I just want

71
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:24,300
to do a, you know, a quick
introduction.

72
00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:28,300
Excuse me, a quick introduction
with everybody and we'll go

73
00:04:28,300 --> 00:04:31,900
ahead and we'll start with an
All right.

74
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:36,500
Hi I'm Anne and hatch and I was
raised in the LDS church.

75
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,200
Fifth-generation LDS were my
family joined in like the

76
00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:46,000
Kirtland era of the LDS church,
my hobbies include teaching, the

77
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,900
gospel doing genealogy work,
teach a genealogy class from

78
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:54,500
time to time, gardening.
And spending time with my

79
00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:59,700
family, I do have a degree in
information.

80
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:04,600
She and I work in that line of
work, and I'm very lucky to be

81
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,500
able to, to do that.
I've served in many capacities

82
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:11,200
in the LDS church and in Christ
Church.

83
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,300
The branch.
And I currently live in Nevada

84
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:21,100
with my family, it's awesome.
Theresa my name is Theresa, so I

85
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:24,700
was not raised LDS.
I actually joined the LDS

86
00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:28,600
church.
When I was 14 years old, I got

87
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:31,700
married in the LDS temple.
When I was in 1991.

88
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:40,700
So I was 19 when that took place
and then in 96 is when we'd won

89
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:44,800
fundamentalism and then we
joined Christchurch the branch

90
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:50,900
at that time.
So, definitely a ride, you know,

91
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:59,400
for from 14 to 20 to 26, you
know, but It's been, it's been a

92
00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,200
good ride, you know, and there's
been a lot of lot of good stuff

93
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,900
along the way, and a lot of
challenging challenging things,

94
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:12,600
you know, I love Jenny ology,
I'd been interested in genealogy

95
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,900
for a long time and help me get
even more interested in it.

96
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:18,900
I love cooking and I love
working with herbs and doing

97
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,900
gardening.
That's awesome.

98
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:31,800
Thanks Theresa, Andrea.
So I'm Andrea just sup I I was

99
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:36,100
born into the LDS church but my
father started studying

100
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:44,000
fundamentalism when I was about
six months old and then he went

101
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:49,300
on to join the AUB.
We still continued going to

102
00:06:49,300 --> 00:06:54,000
church so I was seven and then
we stopped going and we just

103
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:57,000
Just completely went into the a
b.

104
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:07,600
And so most of my use bent in
the a UB but I also had a lot of

105
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:13,800
experience going to the LDS
church to just look at the

106
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:20,900
differences and see see what it
was and choose for myself.

107
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:32,500
What I wanted to do. and, So
fast forward years later and we

108
00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:39,200
are no longer part of the AUB.
We are independent but still

109
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:44,700
believe fully in the gospel and
in in the teachings of the

110
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:47,600
prophets.
So awesome.

111
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:54,100
Thanks Andrea.
Charlotte All right, so I'm

112
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:58,000
Charlotte Erickson.
I've been married to Joshua for

113
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:03,500
20 years and I have five
children with him and about you.

114
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,100
Yeah, this is Melissa.
She'll have her own inch or two.

115
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:09,500
But she has two children to, but
we count all seven children as

116
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:14,000
ours.
All three of us were raised in

117
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:18,300
the LDS church, and it's an
interesting question.

118
00:08:18,300 --> 00:08:20,800
How did I convert to
fundamentalism because really

119
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,700
the plural marriage came first?
Just before the fundamentalism.

120
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,600
So, I was just going about my
normal life.

121
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:33,100
And God just told me very
clearly that Melissa was going

122
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,700
to marry my husband.
And it's owns story.

123
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:41,100
That actually, Joshua is told
his side of the story on this

124
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,500
podcast.
Several, you know, episodes ago.

125
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:48,100
But obviously the church kicked
us out and here we are.

126
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:53,400
But so are religious Journey has
been A long one.

127
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:56,500
I think an interesting one
because we were all faithful in

128
00:08:56,500 --> 00:09:02,400
the LDS church and then we
convince Melissa to marry us and

129
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,900
we had our own like version of
fundamentalism going on and then

130
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:11,700
together we kind of evolved.
So it doesn't look so much like

131
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:16,300
a Brigham Young fund amount
mentalism but more like Abraham,

132
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,200
Isaac.
And Jacob.

133
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:20,400
I guess.
So, that's what awesome.

134
00:09:52,100 --> 00:10:03,800
So, I find that that are grown
and gone and our religious

135
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,600
Journey has been very
interesting what she said.

136
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,100
I'll have to kill nurse to come
first.

137
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:15,800
I was shows, I was convinced by
them, but no, I received my own

138
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:20,100
absoluteness that I'm supposed
to be married to Joshua, and

139
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:23,400
it's been interesting as we've
gone through this journey

140
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:27,400
because we've held to some
truths that we believe in those

141
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,400
are that God doesn't change.
He's the same yesterday today

142
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,400
and forever and that the rules
are still the same and that

143
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:40,400
Christ lived That flawlessly, he
lived for a flawlessly.

144
00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:47,000
And so in our world to do what
Christ did we follow the

145
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:52,000
Commandments that were given at
that time, as well as the

146
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,700
enduring ones with the feast
that are commanded to be done

147
00:10:55,700 --> 00:11:00,400
forever.
And so we have our own project

148
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,900
were working on which is called
zarahemla Foundation, it's not a

149
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:08,400
church.
I Gathering Gathering of people

150
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:13,000
who want to learn more about the
feast about keeping Torah and

151
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,000
how the scriptures really do on
that job and it's really been

152
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,500
very amazing.
I've read the book of Mormon

153
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:23,500
with different eyes, read
through the filter of

154
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:28,400
correlation as a child, and
then, in seminary Institute.

155
00:11:28,700 --> 00:11:36,200
And then I had a waking
post-2012 and realize that I was

156
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:41,900
a gentile. and now I'm reading
it again, as someone who's the

157
00:11:41,900 --> 00:11:49,100
house of Israel front fruit for
Brea cleanse and it's been Very,

158
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:52,400
very sobering and very joyous at
the same time.

159
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,100
That's awesome.
You know, as I've had the chance

160
00:11:56,100 --> 00:11:59,700
to talk to Joshua, I find his
depth of knowledge just to be

161
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:02,900
amazing.
So I'm so thankful that, that

162
00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:05,700
there's folks out there like
that who keep those Traditions

163
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:10,900
alive, because it does show some
types and shadows there, So let

164
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:16,500
me start here.
The bulk of the panel here, has

165
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:22,800
converted from the LDS church
and the one thing about

166
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,600
Mormonism and it doesn't really
matter what branch of Mormonism.

167
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:32,200
We're a very social people.
We're people that like, to talk

168
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,000
with others.
We like those Gatherings.

169
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:42,300
And so, in coming out of the
mainstream, LDS church for again

170
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:46,500
for those who had to make that
change and Andrea Jessup.

171
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,900
I got some questions for you.
A tour since you were raised in

172
00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:53,900
fundamentalism for sure but real
quick what were some of the

173
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:55,800
hardships of coming out of the
LDS church?

174
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,300
I mean because it's not just
again it's not just where you go

175
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:01,400
on Sundays.
It's it really is kind of who

176
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,900
you are six days a week plus
Sunday.

177
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,200
So what was that?
Like what were some of the

178
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,900
challenges?
And Feel free anybody to answer

179
00:13:10,900 --> 00:13:13,200
and we can just kind of take
turns here going around.

180
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,200
I'll jump in, okay?
And then free.

181
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,500
So we'll go next because we both
were like the same time.

182
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:25,600
So, you know, for me growing up,
I mean, I did grow up in Butte,

183
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:31,200
I grew up in Idaho but very LDS
Rich, you know, part of Idaho.

184
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:36,000
And so for me, there was, there
was the judgments, you know, it

185
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:40,300
was People didn't understand how
I could do this.

186
00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:44,000
They didn't understand why I
would do this, you know, and

187
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:49,200
their big concern was we got to
show your husband.

188
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:55,900
And that wasn't like, my biggest
concern at all with, with any of

189
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:59,600
it.
I mean, it's not easy from time

190
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:05,000
to time, but that wasn't my
biggest concern as a sister, it

191
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:09,000
was more of the, the Judgment
for my Family and close friends

192
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:15,400
that that killed me.
And I was really hard, you know,

193
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:20,200
growing up in the LDS church.
I mean I'm an only child but I

194
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:25,300
have a bazillion cousins and we
all grew up around each other

195
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:31,600
and to be disowned by the
majority of them like four out

196
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,500
of 50.
Some first cousins will talk to

197
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:40,700
me and That was really hard
because, you know, we did a lot

198
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:41,800
of things.
We had a lot of family

199
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,400
activities and stuff and I
helped with all of those things

200
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,200
with organizing and and to have
them say well they wouldn't come

201
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:52,200
if I'd be there or just all
kinds of stuff that was the

202
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,300
hardest.
But I think for me, you know,

203
00:14:56,100 --> 00:15:01,900
the most interesting part of why
I did this was the doctrine and

204
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:07,700
also because of genealogy So
growing up my aunt, I had a

205
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:11,500
couple answer did Jenny ology
work professionally and my mom

206
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:14,000
was into it, my grandmother and
growing up.

207
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,300
We used to go to the family
history libraries, right, that

208
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:21,000
they have.
And I learned how to write

209
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,300
because my grandmother would
read the microfiche and she'd

210
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:28,900
tell me what I was writing down
and fill out the papers and then

211
00:15:28,900 --> 00:15:31,500
we started sharing stories and
family home evening of our

212
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:34,700
ancestors.
And when when we heard the

213
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:39,900
testimonies of my great-great
grandparents and why they were

214
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:43,700
living it and why they chose
Mormonism, why they came to

215
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:52,800
America in some cases Always set
with me very deeply and I knew

216
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,100
from a very young age and I
actually even announced it once

217
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:59,500
in our family home evening, that
I would probably be living this

218
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,400
one day.
And, you know, the answer is, of

219
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,300
course, we all will, you know,
in the Millennium when Christ

220
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:07,500
returns.
And I was like, no, I don't

221
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,000
know.
I think it's going to happen

222
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,800
before that.
And and here I am, you know, the

223
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:17,100
with all the doctrines of
fundamentalism, you know, and

224
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:22,500
Teresa and I Talk about this but
plural marriage is only one

225
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:27,400
aspect of the many things.
Yeah very little little really

226
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,500
it is big but it's little you
guys know what I'm talking

227
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:32,600
about.
Yeah I know but the best one for

228
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:39,300
me my favorite is knowing who my
heavenly father is knowing that

229
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:45,000
I have a heavenly mother and
being able to talk about her and

230
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:50,500
to feel a connection and I just
I love the atom God Doctrine the

231
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,500
most out of all of them and I
think that wasn't to me the

232
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:55,500
doctrine wasn't the hardship at
all.

233
00:16:55,500 --> 00:16:59,400
It was the losing of my family.
That said, we always be together

234
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,800
until we weren't.
So has any of your family came

235
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,500
back around now?
And since you know, given the,

236
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:11,400
you know, a little bit of time
and that sort of thing, some of

237
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:17,599
them, but not all.
And I have an aunt and, and her

238
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:25,099
Very strongly against anything,
you know, in fundamentalism and

239
00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:28,600
they're very I guess staunch
Mormons you would say.

240
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:34,500
And, you know, they I mean, my
one actually did come to my

241
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:39,900
mother's funeral, but after
talking with another cousin, I

242
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:43,500
said, you know, he says, well as
Martha, I should have said her

243
00:17:43,500 --> 00:17:47,100
name, sorry, but it is she going
to be around, is she going to be

244
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,500
invited?
And I said well, why wouldn't

245
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,500
she come?
Because in my mind, why wouldn't

246
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:55,000
she come?
She's family and so he talked to

247
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,200
his sister and she called me.
And she said, you know, here's

248
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,800
her phone number.
Why don't you call her and

249
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,000
personally invite her?
Otherwise she probably won't

250
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,900
come.
And so, it was hard, but I

251
00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:08,300
called her and I said, I want
you to come and that was the

252
00:18:08,308 --> 00:18:15,500
first time I'd talk to her. and
in years, I mean probably 15 to

253
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:21,500
17 years and she came and you
know, she she give me a hug, we

254
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:24,900
were a little distant, but I
think it kind of opened up

255
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:28,700
something because she actually
talked to me since then, you

256
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:32,700
know, after that one time before
she passed away and you know it

257
00:18:32,708 --> 00:18:36,700
was a good conversation but I
still have some cousins that

258
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,900
they'll come to events but
they're not going to like walk

259
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,200
up and give me a hug and we're
not going to talk about Time

260
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,700
drinking, right?
Awesome Teresa.

261
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:48,900
How about you?
So let's I'm going to back up

262
00:18:48,900 --> 00:18:52,400
just a real quick.
So I was raised in a foster

263
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,200
family from 15 on.
Okay.

264
00:18:55,200 --> 00:19:00,500
So I was joined the LDS church
in 1415 went into the system.

265
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:06,400
My foster parents were my Sunday
school teacher and my those who

266
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,400
were raised in the LDS church
and know my mates teacher.

267
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,100
Okay?
So, my mates teacher and my

268
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,400
Sunday school teacher, they took
me in, they got their license

269
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,600
and took me in as their Foster
Child and I live with them and

270
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,500
that.
So if I talk about my parents so

271
00:19:21,700 --> 00:19:26,000
those are my parents that I
talked about, okay, now jump

272
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:35,000
ahead when we decided to join
fundamentalism, I lost them too

273
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:40,600
and that was tough, you know,
that was really hard because at

274
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:46,600
15 I lost an entire family.
And then at 26, I felt like I

275
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:52,700
lost An entire family again.
Now, my foster dad my dad.

276
00:19:52,700 --> 00:19:56,800
He has come around and we are a
lot closer now, so that's good.

277
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,200
But my friend's it was really
interesting at the time because

278
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:08,500
I guess at the time, I never
realized how judging people

279
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,500
could be.
I mean, I knew people could be

280
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:16,000
judging but I mean, they throw a
lot of, they think they know

281
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,600
what they don't know, and that's
what it comes down to, you know,

282
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,700
it was.
Oh, so he's going to get another

283
00:20:22,700 --> 00:20:26,000
wife and I'm like, whoa, you
know, I guess maybe someday, you

284
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,900
know, that wasn't why we came
into it.

285
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:32,600
That's obviously the first thing
that everybody and And I say

286
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,700
everybody Loosely, but the
majority of the world will jump

287
00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:40,500
into fundamental fundamentalism.
Oh, plural marriage for the

288
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,200
world?
Knows it as polygamy.

289
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,300
Right.
You know, I like to call it

290
00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:49,300
plural.
Celestial marriage myself, in

291
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:53,700
regards to the doctrine.
It was interesting because in my

292
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:58,300
foster family, in my foster dad,
I remember one day I went to

293
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,600
church and I was really upset.
I came home from church, I

294
00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:03,100
didn't take this.
Sacrament that day.

295
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,400
I was really upset and he can't
comes home.

296
00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,100
And he says, why you shake the
sacrament?

297
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,500
And I said because I know what
those boys were doing last

298
00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:14,400
night, I'm not taking the
supplement and he was like, okay

299
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,900
well you know it so he has a big
talk with me about it'll be

300
00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:23,600
everything will be made right on
the other side and that it added

301
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,800
on and on.
But then all of the sudden that

302
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:31,200
conversation went into it, this
is almost exactly what he said I

303
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,900
can remember.
It like we're sitting at the

304
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:35,300
table today.
It's just like, you know, the

305
00:21:35,300 --> 00:21:38,900
LDS church, they don't like to
talk about Adam being God but

306
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,200
you know, if you look at the
scriptures, you know, Adam is

307
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:44,400
gone and added up and I'm
looking at him like okay.

308
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:48,900
And then years later, we're
learning to Adam God, Doctrine.

309
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:50,800
And that the LDS church doesn't
teach a number.

310
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:57,700
So, of course they do, you know?
And I know they didn't but

311
00:21:57,700 --> 00:22:00,100
obviously, you know, people were
still bleeding.

312
00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:02,900
It, they just decided not to
talk about it because it would

313
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:06,500
get them in trouble with the
elders change, you know?

314
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:13,900
So and then well, before we
joined Christchurch the branch.

315
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,900
We had a close friend of ours
from out in the Colorado City

316
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:21,200
area.
He's in the Centennial area, he,

317
00:22:21,700 --> 00:22:26,500
he worked with my husband at the
time he worked with him and he,

318
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,900
he rented a room from us and he
just happened to leave.

319
00:22:30,900 --> 00:22:36,400
A lot of doctrinal books laying
around, just happened to talk a

320
00:22:36,408 --> 00:22:40,500
lot about the principles you
know of the gospel.

321
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:42,400
And you know I actually learned
a lot from him.

322
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:48,200
You know, so I don't know for me
accepting the doctrine.

323
00:22:49,300 --> 00:22:52,400
It really wasn't hard for me.
Okay.

324
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,800
All right.
Yeah and you said, you said your

325
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:58,800
dad is kind of come come around
a little bit, right?

326
00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,800
Yeah.
Actually.

327
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:01,800
He's come around.
I would say a lot.

328
00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:05,600
He says I'm his plural wife.
Wow.

329
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,800
Wow.
That's wow, he likes joking

330
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,100
around right.
Yeah but you know, I think in,

331
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:17,100
My honest opinion.
You know, sometimes people have

332
00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:21,200
things that knock them down in
life and it kind of makes you

333
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,100
come around the other things in
your life.

334
00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:26,200
Sure, sure.
That it's sad that things like

335
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,500
that happen but sometimes that's
that happens.

336
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:33,500
Absolutely, so awesome.
Well thanks Theresa, um,

337
00:23:34,100 --> 00:23:41,000
Charlotte Thank you.
Yeah, that was actually a really

338
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,900
rough transition.
I'm not going to lie so I was

339
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:54,800
just happily going along in my
LDS Paradigm and Joshua was not

340
00:23:54,900 --> 00:24:00,000
as in the Box as I was and he
tried for eight years of

341
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:05,100
marriage to show me like more
interesting doctoring than the

342
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:06,200
scriptures.
Hours and stuff.

343
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,400
And I was just so like blind to
what he was trying to do.

344
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,000
And then for some reason, I
don't know why the timing was

345
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:17,000
just right.
I happened upon the idea of

346
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,000
blood atonement and I was like,
what the heck is that?

347
00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:26,100
And I searched blood atonement
on lds.org and you want to know

348
00:24:26,100 --> 00:24:29,400
how many search results I got
zero.

349
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,200
None.
There's nothing.

350
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,400
And I was like, well, that's, it
really bothered me because I

351
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:38,900
thought here Is this?
Supposedly Mormon Doctrine.

352
00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:43,800
And on the other hand, I've been
taught that you're not supposed

353
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:49,000
to learn about Mormonism
anywhere but lds.org right.

354
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
So what what's a girl supposed
to do?

355
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:56,300
So I started reading about blood
atonement on dangerous websites,

356
00:24:56,300 --> 00:24:59,700
you know, and I guess that was
sort of the beginning of the end

357
00:24:59,900 --> 00:25:02,000
for me.
But it was like, how do I

358
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,200
reconcile like Brigham Young in
general conference?

359
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:08,500
Saying that, if you, if you
don't believe in blood

360
00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:12,900
atonement, you don't believe in
Jesus to nowadays the church

361
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:16,700
issuing statements saying it was
a false Doctrine.

362
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:21,400
So I guess that was sort of my,
I don't know why.

363
00:25:21,900 --> 00:25:24,900
Because to me, that's not that
important of a Doctrine.

364
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:29,200
It's not even something we can
enforce in our current state of

365
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,200
affairs.
And so, the timing was just

366
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,200
right for me, but there was a
while there that I almost just

367
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,700
Couldn't navigate the Minefield
and just wanted to leave the

368
00:25:40,700 --> 00:25:42,600
church and stopped believing in
God.

369
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,100
And because it was, I just felt
lied to.

370
00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:50,100
And it was really challenging.
So, I, but eventually I came to

371
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:53,800
the point where I thought, well,
the church is still the best

372
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,100
place for me to hang out.
And so I was in the church for a

373
00:25:58,108 --> 00:26:04,900
while thinking, this isn't all I
was taught it was and yet it's

374
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:10,300
still a great place to raise my
A family and it's still the best

375
00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:12,500
I have.
And so I'm just going to stay

376
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,600
here.
But like in my heart I wasn't so

377
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:19,500
attached, anymore-- to the
church and it was her also in

378
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:23,900
the next couple of years that I
started to realize that God

379
00:26:23,900 --> 00:26:29,200
actually didn't just want to
teach me through prophets and

380
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,000
general conference and the good
books, he wanted to talk to me

381
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:37,500
directly and that and Is news to
me.

382
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:39,600
Like I knew I could pray to get
answers.

383
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,500
Like should you marry this
person?

384
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:46,400
Should you take this job, but I
never considered that God wanted

385
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:50,500
to like direct my day-to-day
actions and like move me to do

386
00:26:50,500 --> 00:26:55,300
good things.
And so when I learned that that

387
00:26:55,300 --> 00:27:00,700
was that was probably the
biggest change in the way of

388
00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:02,800
looking at the world.
Because now I started thinking,

389
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,100
okay, I can keep all the
Commandments of the church is

390
00:27:05,100 --> 00:27:08,600
teaching and I can Also start
receiving personal revelation at

391
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:12,200
the same time.
So the very first personal

392
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,200
revelation I got that was like
not something that people around

393
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:18,800
me were doing was I had the
feeling that I should start

394
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:22,600
wearing skirts and dresses all
the time and stopped wearing

395
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:27,200
pants and I thought well if I
heard that in general conference

396
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,500
I would but then I realized this
was God talking to me.

397
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:33,900
So I started wearing skirts and
dresses all the time and it

398
00:27:33,900 --> 00:27:38,400
really bothered my dad.
He sought, he noticed, I never

399
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,900
even told him, he just noticed
that I'd stopped wearing pants

400
00:27:41,900 --> 00:27:45,800
and he said, he said, why do you
only wear skirts?

401
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,800
And I said, because I feel like
that's what God's telling me to

402
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,100
do, dad and I thought he would
respect that, but it made him

403
00:27:52,100 --> 00:27:58,000
really nervous because over his
life, he's seen people kind of

404
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,000
slightly alter their course, and
they're not.

405
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,900
So, in the box and he's seen
that they end up thinking for

406
00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:08,900
themselves too much.
And so he said, if you start

407
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:13,400
wearing only dresses, you're
going to end up in southern

408
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,000
Utah.
As a polygamist performing

409
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,100
Temple endowments in your living
room, that's what he said.

410
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:21,900
And he also tried to convince me
wear pants because he told me

411
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:26,100
that the wives of the LDS
Apostles wear pants.

412
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:30,500
And and I said, okay, like am I
supposed to pattern myself after

413
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:33,200
the wives of the Apostles?
But do you even know if they've

414
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,700
had their calling election?
Made sure.

415
00:28:34,700 --> 00:28:38,700
Like why am I copying Them.
So that was like really

416
00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:41,000
surprising.
I felt like I'd cast Pearls

417
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,300
Before Swine, like sharing this
personal spiritual experience,

418
00:28:44,500 --> 00:28:47,000
and then having him just
rejected.

419
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,100
And so, that was kind of the
beginning of my religious

420
00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:54,600
parting from my dad.
And then, and then later when I

421
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:58,400
became a polygamist that was
that was the beginning of a very

422
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,200
rough.
How many years with my parents

423
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:04,300
five years?
It was really bad.

424
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:11,200
He so he at first when I told my
parents that Melissa was my

425
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:14,400
sister wife and we've been
keeping it secret for some time,

426
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,500
it wasn't like they were invited
to the wedding or something.

427
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:20,800
Okay, like it already happened
and so I told them and my

428
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,200
parents were awesome in that.
Very first conversation, my mom

429
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,900
said we didn't get to choose who
you married.

430
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:29,600
We didn't get to choose when you
had children.

431
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:33,900
Don't get to choose our family,
it's only our job to accept it

432
00:29:33,900 --> 00:29:36,200
and love you.
My dad in that initial

433
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,400
conversation told me that he
would love Melissa as a

434
00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:42,100
daughter.
And and then, literally, I don't

435
00:29:42,100 --> 00:29:43,500
know what happened.
He spent the night with the

436
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:47,500
devil dud.
Next day, he had typed up this

437
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:50,300
letter.
For me, calling me to repentance

438
00:29:50,300 --> 00:29:53,900
accusing.
Joshua of adultery basically,

439
00:29:53,900 --> 00:29:57,400
calling Melissa whore and stuff.
It was really, really bad.

440
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:03,500
So, We just guess I shouldn't go
into too many details of this.

441
00:30:03,500 --> 00:30:06,300
Make too long of a story, but I
will say, they've completely

442
00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:10,100
come around.
My siblings lives have all

443
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:15,600
totally Fallen apart and and so
they look at us now and they're

444
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:18,900
like, oh wow, like the majority
of our grandchildren and his

445
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:20,800
family.
They're very religious.

446
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,800
They have a beautiful family,
very highly functional doing

447
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,100
great with the kids and
everything is.

448
00:30:26,100 --> 00:30:29,500
So now it's like they can see
that.

449
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:33,900
What we're doing is good for for
children and good for families

450
00:30:33,900 --> 00:30:37,300
and my dad.
So, okay.

451
00:30:37,300 --> 00:30:40,600
I want to include this point
which is that it really bothered

452
00:30:40,700 --> 00:30:46,800
my dad to imagine that I was
keeping a corrupted version of

453
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:50,300
his religion.
That was what bothered him is

454
00:30:50,300 --> 00:30:56,200
because I told him, I still
believed in Mormonism and that I

455
00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:01,000
was just taking the religion,
he'd given me and Following God

456
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:05,100
within it and he couldn't wrap
his mind around someone, keeping

457
00:31:05,100 --> 00:31:09,100
such a ugly in his mind version
of his religion.

458
00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:14,400
But the moment he realized, oh,
she has a different religion

459
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,100
than made, then he was totally
fine with it.

460
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,700
And so, I don't know how he
finally came to that

461
00:31:18,700 --> 00:31:22,300
realization, but that was, that
was good.

462
00:31:22,300 --> 00:31:24,700
So, my parents is the most
exciting, like, they fully

463
00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:26,800
accept us.
They come too many of our events

464
00:31:28,300 --> 00:31:32,900
and and Are still very LDS to
like they haven't changed their

465
00:31:32,900 --> 00:31:36,000
religion at all, but just our
relationship with him has

466
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:37,900
changed.
That's probably the biggest

467
00:31:38,700 --> 00:31:41,200
difficult thing that has
happened.

468
00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,600
I've, of course, lost friends
and other family, too, but I

469
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,400
still like cross my fingers that
my parents will someday, like,

470
00:31:48,500 --> 00:31:51,200
believe closer to what we
believe, but we still have tons

471
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,700
in common with them.
And we just try to focus on her

472
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:59,300
our similarities and not our
differences Melissa before I get

473
00:31:59,300 --> 00:32:00,900
to you.
Just, I want to point out a

474
00:32:00,900 --> 00:32:05,400
couple of things here.
First off, I find what you said

475
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,800
there, Charlotte really
inspiring, right?

476
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,800
Because I think there's no
guarantees that folks will come

477
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,000
back around.
All we can do is just hold to

478
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:18,500
the convictions that we've been
given and then put the rest in

479
00:32:18,500 --> 00:32:20,700
the Lord's hands and let him
work on people.

480
00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,300
Yeah, when it does work out,
it's beautiful.

481
00:32:23,300 --> 00:32:28,900
The other thing I'd say is that
sometimes we forget that, when

482
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:32,100
it comes to the LDS church, we
still have more in common than

483
00:32:32,100 --> 00:32:34,700
we have differences.
Right?

484
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:39,200
And I think sometimes if we can
can position things to to show

485
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,300
what were for and not
necessarily what we're against

486
00:32:42,300 --> 00:32:46,000
that can help smooth that over.
Yeah, I have just one quick

487
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,600
follow-up question for you
Charlotte because I think this

488
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,200
is very applicable.
You said, as you were going

489
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,500
through this dark period, as
you're going through this phase

490
00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:59,000
transition kind of a crisis.
You get to a point to where

491
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,100
you're thinking about, well
maybe God doesn't exist.

492
00:33:01,100 --> 00:33:03,400
Did I understand that correctly?
Yeah, I did go.

493
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,900
Through it.
And I find this very timely and

494
00:33:06,900 --> 00:33:09,500
kind of important because I
think a lot of folks are either

495
00:33:09,500 --> 00:33:11,900
going through this or they're
about to go through this with

496
00:33:11,900 --> 00:33:15,300
all the upheaval in the LDS
church and so people are going

497
00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:19,100
to be faced with this with this
this choice.

498
00:33:19,100 --> 00:33:22,900
Because if you look at Mormons
in general, they don't

499
00:33:22,900 --> 00:33:28,600
necessarily become Baptists
methodists or do anything

500
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,800
protestantism.
And I think it's because the

501
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,500
promises with in Mormonism are
so great.

502
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,200
That you're like well if I can't
have that, why would I want to

503
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,000
hang out on a cloud?
Playing a harp all day right

504
00:33:40,900 --> 00:33:43,500
what was it?
That ultimately got you from

505
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:47,200
that as you're making that
choice between well maybe God

506
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:49,900
just doesn't exist at all to,
okay?

507
00:33:49,900 --> 00:33:52,800
Now we're just going to go right
after the full enchilada, right.

508
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,800
We're not gonna we're not going
to waste time with anything else

509
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,300
we're going for.
What was that?

510
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,400
Yeah that's a that's a really
good question.

511
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:05,000
I'm actually glad you asked
because it it was like I was a

512
00:34:05,008 --> 00:34:09,699
little too black and white
little too scientific about

513
00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:14,100
things and it was like either
God exists in the version of

514
00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:17,000
that.
I think he should or there is no

515
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:23,300
God at all.
And it was a lot of thinking and

516
00:34:23,699 --> 00:34:27,900
honestly talking to Joshua that
helped me to realize that.

517
00:34:28,199 --> 00:34:32,600
Well, first of all, I realized
that I was really unhappy and to

518
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:37,199
me that was Of the fruit of
atheism was like, I wasn't

519
00:34:37,199 --> 00:34:39,699
happier.
I wasn't more productive, it

520
00:34:39,707 --> 00:34:42,600
wasn't serving my family better
and being a better mom, any of

521
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:44,500
those things.
It was like I was just depressed

522
00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:48,400
and angry and you know, just
letting things that I used to

523
00:34:48,408 --> 00:34:50,900
care about just fall apart and
stuff.

524
00:34:51,100 --> 00:34:54,699
And and so I was like, well, how
could I choose this over?

525
00:34:54,699 --> 00:34:57,300
What I had before?
Because what I had before was

526
00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:01,100
sort of a blind faith.
And yet it led me to make good

527
00:35:01,100 --> 00:35:05,000
decisions with who to marry and
what to To do with myself and

528
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,300
how to what, to teach my kids
and stuff.

529
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:12,400
And so, I thought, what I had
before was better than what I'm

530
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:17,500
doing right now.
And I also studied like history

531
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,000
and there was one lie.
I don't think this was part of

532
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,700
it, but since this has happened,
I've heard Benjamin shaper, say

533
00:35:26,300 --> 00:35:31,900
all theories are false, some
theories are useful and that

534
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:35,300
kind of sums up.
I'm going to try to describe now

535
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:39,800
which is the realization that we
have Choice.

536
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:44,900
When it comes to what we believe
the leaf and testimony isn't

537
00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:48,400
something that happens only to
you, although it can, you can

538
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,900
have an experience where it
totally changes what you

539
00:35:51,100 --> 00:35:53,200
believe, and you had no control
over that.

540
00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:59,400
But on a day-to-day level, you
can choose to believe something

541
00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,400
even if you can't intellectually
defendant.

542
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:10,000
Explain it to someone else and I
realized that believing in God,

543
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,200
number one and number two, what
that looked like which for me is

544
00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:21,100
Mormonism is a much better way
to live life than just being an

545
00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:26,400
angry atheist.
So there was one like 3:00 in

546
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,900
the morning conversation with my
good husband where I was just

547
00:36:30,900 --> 00:36:33,400
like desperate on this
precipice.

548
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:39,000
And I finally had this major
like lightning bolt moment when

549
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:45,000
I said wait, so you're saying
that I can choose to believe in

550
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:49,300
Mormonism.
It's not that I have to wait for

551
00:36:49,300 --> 00:36:52,100
God to come bear.
Witness of it to me somehow.

552
00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:54,500
And Joshua said, yeah, that's
what I'm saying.

553
00:36:54,500 --> 00:36:59,100
And it just shocked my system
because I never thought of

554
00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:02,000
belief as a choice before.
And so and then I thought, well,

555
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:05,200
choosing to believe in the best.
Best I have and I think

556
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:09,200
Mormonism does have problems and
so I guess that was where I was

557
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,400
getting kind of hung up, but it
was like it's still the best so

558
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:16,300
it's like if you look at
scientific theories, you know,

559
00:37:16,308 --> 00:37:20,400
Christopher Columbus believed
that the Earth was round and

560
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,800
there were astronomers that came
later that taught that the Earth

561
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,700
revolves around the Sun and none
of that is the complete picture,

562
00:37:28,700 --> 00:37:30,600
which is that not only is the
earth round.

563
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:34,100
Not only does it revolve around
the Sun but the Sun Isn't even

564
00:37:34,100 --> 00:37:38,200
the center of the universe.
The sun is just a star in the

565
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,300
middle of a galaxy.
In some far-flung, corner of the

566
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:44,500
universe, but you don't have to
have the complete picture to

567
00:37:44,500 --> 00:37:47,700
have something useful which is
that the Earth is round were

568
00:37:47,707 --> 00:37:50,500
before we thought was flat.
So I feel like Mormonism.

569
00:37:50,500 --> 00:37:56,000
It may be the exact version that
I believe doesn't have every

570
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,800
single detail about every single
truth that there is.

571
00:37:58,900 --> 00:38:01,300
But it's way more useful than
believing that the Earth is

572
00:38:01,300 --> 00:38:03,400
flat, which is what the
atheists.

573
00:38:03,500 --> 00:38:10,600
Is metaphorically, believe so to
me, my version of Mormonism is

574
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:15,500
the most useful religion that I
can find.

575
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:20,400
And I'm open to further light
and knowledge, but I'm way

576
00:38:20,400 --> 00:38:23,700
happier now than when I went
through my atheist phase.

577
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,800
And I much just a better person
to be around and stuff, I'm

578
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,600
sure.
So, I guess that's what it comes

579
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,600
down to is that you can choose
to believe the thing that's most

580
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,000
useful.
Even In if it's not the complete

581
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:38,800
truth, I got you.
Yeah I think that's absolutely

582
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:43,300
awesome and I'm about to reveal.
Just how flawed I am because I

583
00:38:43,308 --> 00:38:46,000
think I want to actually put
that on a t-shirt that atheists

584
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,800
are flat earthers.
I think that's good.

585
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,600
So um, I might be a special
melding, what's that?

586
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:57,400
The interesting melding of
Genesis and Atheism.

587
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:01,900
That's right.
So how about you Melissa?

588
00:39:03,100 --> 00:39:07,300
Oh boy.
So I wasn't raised in your togs

589
00:39:07,300 --> 00:39:09,900
race in Colorado, mostly in some
in New Mexico.

590
00:39:10,700 --> 00:39:14,600
So I didn't have a large
community about the yes to draw

591
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,700
from in one area that we lived
in.

592
00:39:16,700 --> 00:39:21,200
We to drive 40 miles to a church
and so we'd make a day of it.

593
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,900
We drive our 40 miles of potluck
casserole, and we'd spend the

594
00:39:24,900 --> 00:39:28,400
rest of the day with the
members, from our Branch.

595
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:30,500
Good people.
Really good people.

596
00:39:31,700 --> 00:39:32,700
So that's right.
Ooh, up in.

597
00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:35,000
And I went to BYU graduated from
BYU.

598
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:40,100
Unmarried, which apparently is
some cardinal sin. and then,

599
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,600
Over.
And I'm going to give you the

600
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,700
long story short, but I had two
failed marriages.

601
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:54,700
And in 2011, my Relief Society
president she and her counselors

602
00:39:54,700 --> 00:39:58,100
decided that the goal for the
relief society sisters was going

603
00:39:58,100 --> 00:40:02,300
to be to pick scriptures and
just read whatever you decided

604
00:40:02,300 --> 00:40:07,300
to read there was no, there were
no parameters and so we got has

605
00:40:07,300 --> 00:40:09,300
little card and were to write
down where we're going to

606
00:40:09,300 --> 00:40:13,800
realize, I was just going to get
through them all and I I had

607
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,300
done that in a really long time,
because every time that I

608
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:22,600
started to read the scriptures,
It was like this morning Bell

609
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:27,000
would go off in my head because
I could match up what I was

610
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:32,600
reading in the word and what was
being taught to me from the

611
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:37,500
pulpit and so I just decided I'm
going to read scriptures, no

612
00:40:37,500 --> 00:40:40,000
matter what.
And at the time I was in a

613
00:40:40,008 --> 00:40:43,000
failing marriage, I was working
through whole time, I had three

614
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,100
kids.
The only time I could come up

615
00:40:46,100 --> 00:40:49,500
with to read, scriptures was
when I milked the cow in the the

616
00:40:49,500 --> 00:40:53,900
morning and on my 45-minute
commute to work and back three

617
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:56,300
days a week.
So that's what I committed to.

618
00:40:56,300 --> 00:40:59,800
And I started the New Testament
and I just over the course, the

619
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,700
next about 10 months or year, or
just buried myself in the

620
00:41:03,707 --> 00:41:07,300
scriptures, every opportunity I
had which wasn't much outside

621
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:11,400
those two windows, just buried
myself in what you Christ,

622
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:18,300
actually, say, and started to
unravel what I believe to be

623
00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:20,900
true.
Because I've been Caught it and

624
00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:24,600
what was actual truth and just
began to tease that out and

625
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:28,000
didn't even go into church
history or anything like that.

626
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:31,800
I didn't have some of the things
that other people are stymied

627
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:34,300
with.
I know that one generation was

628
00:41:34,300 --> 00:41:38,200
never taught about plural
marriage or the priesthood ban.

629
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,600
And so that was a big shocker
after they defended, you know,

630
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,900
they've been confronted with the
truth, defended the church in

631
00:41:43,900 --> 00:41:46,700
the falsehood and then came back
to the truth.

632
00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:49,300
I was taught from a young age,
these things.

633
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,200
These correlation began the
year.

634
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:55,700
I was born and so there are
still a lot of older people in

635
00:41:55,700 --> 00:42:00,500
the church who had good memories
of being taught things that

636
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:03,500
weren't correlated being taught
church history.

637
00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:08,400
And so when these things that
are very terrifying and horrible

638
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,800
to people pop up that just
hadn't affected me at all.

639
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:18,800
And so the way I like to
describe when someone who hasn't

640
00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,600
been taught Things are, it's
been actively avoided like the

641
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:25,600
church educational system was
Notorious in hiding these

642
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:28,700
things.
And we find in the teaching of

643
00:42:28,707 --> 00:42:31,300
the presidents of the Church in
Brigham Young's book.

644
00:42:31,300 --> 00:42:33,800
It even says, like it just puts
forth.

645
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,100
This idea that he was a
monogamist.

646
00:42:36,100 --> 00:42:38,700
And it, and if you are able to,
I mean, it's online.

647
00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:42,300
If you want to go on the Church
website and pull that and go

648
00:42:42,300 --> 00:42:45,300
through, it never does it
mention that all the wives that

649
00:42:45,300 --> 00:42:49,800
he had or anything.
So when people are ended with

650
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,400
this, I kind of equivalent it.
And I've said this many times to

651
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,800
getting bad haircut.
So when I was in college, I got

652
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,600
a bad haircut and I didn't know.
And so I went home and I'm in

653
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:04,000
the mirror and my roommate's was
laughing and I'm like, what's

654
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,200
going on?
And she said, your hair is,

655
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:10,200
like, porridge is longer on one
side than the other and I'm

656
00:43:10,207 --> 00:43:12,400
like, what is the Godmother
mirror?

657
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,000
Yes, indeed.
It's a total mess and I don't

658
00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,500
have difficult to cut hair but
whatever.

659
00:43:18,700 --> 00:43:21,200
So I went Back to the person who
cut my hair and I said, you

660
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:25,300
have, I need my money back, like
I know I just knew my money

661
00:43:25,300 --> 00:43:26,900
back.
She's like, well I can't give

662
00:43:26,900 --> 00:43:31,700
you your money back but I can
fix your hair and I don't like

663
00:43:32,700 --> 00:43:36,600
you just butchered my hair.
I there's no way I'm going back

664
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:41,300
to you to fix this and I ended
up leaving with no money and no

665
00:43:41,300 --> 00:43:45,100
haircut because she wouldn't
budge and I wouldn't budge.

666
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:48,300
And so that's what I think
really happens to people that

667
00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:51,700
they're confronted.
And with this truth in history

668
00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:54,800
and they have been lied to.
Okay?

669
00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:57,600
That's that's real.
They've been lied to or it'll

670
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,700
all be really generous.
It's been concealed from them

671
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:05,100
and they have gone so far as to
defend the concealment, not

672
00:44:05,100 --> 00:44:09,200
knowing it's been concealed and
then the church kind of did a

673
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:14,300
backpedal like oh well we'll put
the these these items back on

674
00:44:14,300 --> 00:44:16,600
the website and then we can
explain it all away.

675
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:17,300
Why?
You know?

676
00:44:17,300 --> 00:44:19,900
And there's never an accounting.
There's never an Accounting for

677
00:44:19,900 --> 00:44:23,700
all the decision-making that
took place to keep that out of

678
00:44:23,700 --> 00:44:29,000
common knowledge and at the same
time, you know, we as members

679
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,200
only have ourselves to blame
for, not digging these things

680
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,400
out.
I mean the history is there, the

681
00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:40,200
scriptures are there.
And personally, I was lazy for a

682
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:44,700
lot of years in not searching
out in the scriptures and in

683
00:44:44,700 --> 00:44:51,100
history, the truth.
And oh, gosh, the truth, the

684
00:44:51,100 --> 00:44:56,400
trees are great and interesting
and terrifying and there's a

685
00:44:56,408 --> 00:44:58,800
huge paradigm shift that takes
place.

686
00:44:59,700 --> 00:45:02,800
But, you know, I just want the
truth and I told the Lord that

687
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,500
one point, like I just want the
truth.

688
00:45:04,500 --> 00:45:06,900
I'm driving in my car, like,
really upset.

689
00:45:06,900 --> 00:45:12,000
I want the truth and I was told
you can't handle the truth.

690
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,400
Dude, it sounds like Jack
Nicholson.

691
00:45:14,500 --> 00:45:27,900
Tell me a sound like jacket.
And I get to hold her while

692
00:45:27,900 --> 00:45:30,700
you're too little like that
exact phrasing.

693
00:45:30,700 --> 00:45:35,400
You're too little and I'm not
one to back down and everybody

694
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,600
that knows me knows I'm the
person who's always trying to

695
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:43,600
find the way around and so I
just said to him well then make

696
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:47,000
me big like I'm not going to
take no for an answer.

697
00:45:47,300 --> 00:45:52,000
I want the truth, I don't care
what it takes to get there and

698
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,400
that's kind of evolved into.
I want to be one of God's

699
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,300
favorites and everybody can be.
That's the beauty.

700
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,700
Everybody could be God's
favorite.

701
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:06,900
Yeah, that's awesome.
There's also prices to pay and

702
00:46:06,900 --> 00:46:10,800
just to kick back around you.
I have children that are grown

703
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:13,300
that I didn't speak to me for
two years.

704
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:14,800
Absolutely.
So sorry.

705
00:46:15,100 --> 00:46:18,000
I bet, you know what, they're
all back.

706
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:21,200
I mean, they don't aren't
fundamentalist, but we have a

707
00:46:21,207 --> 00:46:23,900
good relationship.
We have good conversations.

708
00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,400
There are people that I've had
to leave behind and there's my

709
00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,300
parents.
They're, they're not involved in

710
00:46:31,300 --> 00:46:34,100
my life anymore.
They They are not grandparents

711
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:38,600
to my voice.
Charlotte's parents have really

712
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:42,300
risen to the occasion and they
have just accepted them as their

713
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:46,500
own grandchildren.
And so, yeah, that's so awesome.

714
00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:51,300
I like what you said there
about, then make me big, right?

715
00:46:51,300 --> 00:46:54,900
And I think what that shows is
that there is you when you're

716
00:46:54,900 --> 00:46:58,800
pursuing this, there's a certain
amount of tenacity that you have

717
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:02,100
to have right where you have to
be willing to be backed up

718
00:47:02,100 --> 00:47:06,400
against the wall.
And then just keep going, just

719
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:10,300
keep going through any wall you
have to to get to get what it

720
00:47:10,300 --> 00:47:11,100
is.
You know.

721
00:47:11,100 --> 00:47:12,600
It's kind of like did I don't
know.

722
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,700
This is an older generation
thing that if anybody's ever

723
00:47:15,700 --> 00:47:17,000
seen.
Cool Hand, Luke.

724
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:21,100
Hmm, there's a scene in there,
where he, in this fight with

725
00:47:21,100 --> 00:47:25,900
this very, very big man and he
is getting beaten to a fault and

726
00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:28,900
he just keeps getting up and he
stands there.

727
00:47:28,900 --> 00:47:32,000
Any turns this big, man.
He says, you're gonna have to

728
00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,900
kill me.
Right and everything.

729
00:47:34,900 --> 00:47:38,000
Just stops because they know
that he will never.

730
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:39,900
There's no quit.
There's no quit in him.

731
00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,000
Right?
Right.

732
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,600
Yeah.
I couldn't agree more.

733
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,800
I think we have to have that
same tenacity, when, when we go

734
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:51,600
down this road and understand,
there's going to be bumps along

735
00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,700
the way and setbacks and, and
all the stuff that goes with it.

736
00:47:54,700 --> 00:47:57,300
But yeah.
Yeah, tenacity is huge in this.

737
00:47:59,100 --> 00:48:01,200
Thank you for sharing that.
I know those are sensitive

738
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:06,800
things and I I take for granted
that sometimes because I have a

739
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:08,400
different a little bit
different.

740
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,900
I mean, my mom was a
full-fledged hippie, right?

741
00:48:11,900 --> 00:48:15,200
My old man passed away when I
was 13 so I didn't have any of

742
00:48:15,207 --> 00:48:20,800
those things to lose and it's
something I continually have to

743
00:48:20,808 --> 00:48:24,200
check myself with and understand
you know you didn't have those

744
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:28,700
same same.
You didn't have much to lose in

745
00:48:28,700 --> 00:48:32,600
doing that and I understand that
that that was pretty sensitive

746
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,900
stuff.
So I appreciate everyone sharing

747
00:48:34,900 --> 00:48:39,200
their Andrea from.
Yeah, go ahead.

748
00:48:39,300 --> 00:48:41,100
What were you gonna say?
I thought you were going to

749
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:45,400
skip.
No, no, no real quick.

750
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,500
You you were pretty much raised
in fundamentalism.

751
00:48:49,100 --> 00:48:51,100
So I'd like to talk for just a
second.

752
00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:55,600
If you don't mind about what it
was like, being raised in

753
00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:59,000
fundamentalism, right?
Do you remember point at which

754
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,600
you looked back and went, you
know what, my family doesn't

755
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,900
look like other's families.
Azure these people who say

756
00:49:04,900 --> 00:49:07,500
they're Mormons, they're they're
a little bit different than me.

757
00:49:07,500 --> 00:49:09,800
What what are some of the unique
things you can?

758
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:13,400
You can look back on now and go.
Yeah, that was unique as

759
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:24,900
compared to most other folks.
Gosh, that's kind of hard

760
00:49:24,900 --> 00:49:30,100
question for my opinion.
I don't feel like I don't feel

761
00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:40,300
like we were super unique.
Okay but we did experience some

762
00:49:40,300 --> 00:49:42,700
interesting things within the
AUB.

763
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:50,600
We my father was interested in
what they called the United

764
00:49:50,600 --> 00:49:55,000
effort which was not quite a
United order but they were more

765
00:49:55,000 --> 00:50:03,100
of They were more of like a
group of men that wanted to talk

766
00:50:03,100 --> 00:50:06,600
about the gospel a lot.
And you know, I was too young to

767
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:13,500
understand everything that was
going on but they they did a lot

768
00:50:13,500 --> 00:50:19,100
of meetings together just
discussing the deeper doctrines

769
00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:28,600
of the gospel and part of the,
Part of the thing that I did

770
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:34,200
experience was when my parents
were transitioning from the

771
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:40,300
church to the AUB.
Was that my my mother had a

772
00:50:40,308 --> 00:50:46,600
really hard time.
She didn't let her family know.

773
00:50:47,900 --> 00:50:55,800
And so she would tell us to not
say anything or to not to talk

774
00:50:55,800 --> 00:51:02,200
about it around them.
So I think I grew up a little

775
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:07,000
bit scared about what people
would think when I was growing

776
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:16,400
up.
So, I'm not sure exactly.

777
00:51:17,300 --> 00:51:19,500
No, I think.
No, no, no.

778
00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:23,900
I think you hit on something.
That is, is really important to

779
00:51:23,908 --> 00:51:28,300
understand and that is as
fundamentalist, there are

780
00:51:28,300 --> 00:51:32,800
societal scars there, right?
I mean, we look back at like the

781
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:36,700
short Creek raids, those sorts
of things, and those leave a

782
00:51:36,700 --> 00:51:42,900
deep Scar and what what your
parents generation had to do

783
00:51:42,900 --> 00:51:45,900
with in fundamentalism.
Just to preserve the truth.

784
00:51:45,900 --> 00:51:51,400
I think needs to be commended
greatly because I'm what I'm

785
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,300
doing here right now.
What we're all doing here right

786
00:51:53,300 --> 00:51:56,200
now is kind of an outgrowth
we're standing on their

787
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:59,800
shoulders a little bit right?
They kept it alive so those

788
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:03,900
things could be passed on and
we've now entered in a Time both

789
00:52:03,900 --> 00:52:05,800
for better and For Worse.
Right?

790
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,700
Where where anything goes so to
speak but this allows us now to

791
00:52:09,700 --> 00:52:14,200
have these conversations.
Also, I think what you said,

792
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,700
Out, you know, having to be a
little quiet about it.

793
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:20,600
I think that's a very unique
perspective that a lot of kids

794
00:52:20,700 --> 00:52:25,400
aren't raised with and I think
that that deserves to be

795
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,000
recognized and valued for what
it is.

796
00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:34,400
Yeah, I I think I lost you a
little bit.

797
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:38,000
There are internet's, not the
greatest.

798
00:52:38,900 --> 00:52:45,100
Oh, I was just saying that that
what you'd said about having to

799
00:52:45,100 --> 00:52:48,500
hide a little bit.
You know, I think that's a very,

800
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:51,100
very unique perspective because
there's some sustained some

801
00:52:51,100 --> 00:52:54,000
societal scars there as far as
fundamentalism because of the

802
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:59,800
short Creek, raids and whatnot.
But yeah, um, what's in the AUB?

803
00:52:59,900 --> 00:53:03,700
yeah, it was definitely
something that they were afraid

804
00:53:03,700 --> 00:53:10,600
of was letting people just
anyone know who they were if

805
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:16,100
people had questions you know it
was highly screened I think

806
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:25,300
because because they were afraid
and paranoid of something

807
00:53:25,300 --> 00:53:31,200
happening again that happened
before which was the the many of

808
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:39,400
the men even within like, Many
of the men.

809
00:53:40,700 --> 00:53:48,100
They went to prison for the
principal and I know that there

810
00:53:48,100 --> 00:53:52,700
were a lot of women especially
within the auv, the older women

811
00:53:52,700 --> 00:54:06,100
who remembered and so, yeah, I
guess it was it was just who

812
00:54:06,100 --> 00:54:12,300
brought up having to be kind of
quiet because I also like I had

813
00:54:12,300 --> 00:54:17,000
friends that were polygamists
children because I wasn't, I

814
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:21,500
wasn't raised polygamist, but I
had friends that were

815
00:54:21,500 --> 00:54:32,100
polygamists children that people
look down on them, and they They

816
00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:36,500
treated them badly.
And so there was actually a lot

817
00:54:36,500 --> 00:54:42,100
of things like that, especially,
I would say, especially in the

818
00:54:42,100 --> 00:54:45,700
70s 80s.
Where I grew up you know?

819
00:54:46,900 --> 00:54:50,100
Gotcha gotcha.
Well that's awesome.

820
00:54:50,100 --> 00:54:52,300
I appreciate everybody sharing
here.

821
00:54:52,900 --> 00:54:56,000
So David wouldn't bring that up
a little bit.

822
00:54:56,000 --> 00:55:01,500
As far as you know the fear our
family hasn't really been

823
00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:05,800
touched by that very much when I
joined the family, it was a

824
00:55:05,808 --> 00:55:10,200
felony.
And then with the brown Utah

825
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:15,400
case that went before it became
a Legal for a period of time.

826
00:55:15,900 --> 00:55:20,800
And so About nine months.
I guess that's about six months

827
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,000
after joining the family.
And then about 9 months after, I

828
00:55:23,008 --> 00:55:27,100
joined the family, my parents
decided that they weren't going

829
00:55:27,100 --> 00:55:29,400
to bring my kids home from
spring break.

830
00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:36,500
And so it was this this window,
you know, where it was a legal

831
00:55:36,500 --> 00:55:40,200
and so when they called the
police on me and women they call

832
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:48,600
DCFS, nothing was done.
But, and I'd already been

833
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:52,500
dealing with DCFS bees at this
is husband used to call on the

834
00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:55,100
regular.
So when they police showed her

835
00:55:55,100 --> 00:55:58,500
my door, I was like yeah, come
on in, how do you want a snack?

836
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:07,700
But I didn't have that very
real, very based fear of the

837
00:56:07,700 --> 00:56:11,200
authorities coming into my home.
And part of that was because

838
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:13,200
again, I'd already been dealing
with some of that.

839
00:56:13,300 --> 00:56:18,600
At with a prior husband but also
because I had no reference point

840
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:24,200
for that with family and
children being taken from their

841
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:30,500
mothers and also because it was
a legal and I think that that

842
00:56:30,500 --> 00:56:32,900
would have been handled very,
very differently.

843
00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:37,200
If I had that familial scarring
and then generational scarring

844
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:42,600
and I think a lot of Grace has
to be given to people who are

845
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:49,100
leaving Sex and they are
realizing that they're going to

846
00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:50,700
be okay.
Yeah.

847
00:56:50,900 --> 00:56:54,300
They don't have to hide and they
don't have to conceal their

848
00:56:54,300 --> 00:56:56,900
background and they don't have
to conceal the parentage of

849
00:56:56,900 --> 00:56:59,200
their children and all of these
things.

850
00:57:00,500 --> 00:57:05,000
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree with
you, you know, and that's

851
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:10,100
something that took me once I
really do Vin the fundamentalism

852
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:14,300
and start talking to people.
That's something I realized in

853
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:18,200
in pretty short order, was that?
Those societal scars are still

854
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,700
there, right?
Especially, especially for those

855
00:57:21,700 --> 00:57:25,300
spiritual Giants, whose
shoulders we stand on today?

856
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:30,100
They paid the price in a way.
That I'm so glad I haven't.

857
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,900
Also, I'm glad I was born in
this day and age because I'm way

858
00:57:33,900 --> 00:57:39,500
too blunt to not keep something
quite like, when, when Tanya

859
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:46,100
came into the family, the word I
used to attend the, the bishop

860
00:57:46,100 --> 00:57:49,300
lives across the street, and he
came over.

861
00:57:49,300 --> 00:57:50,600
He's like, so how you been
doing?

862
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:53,300
I'm like, I'm good.
And he's like, what's going on

863
00:57:53,300 --> 00:57:54,700
over there?
And I just went nothing.

864
00:57:54,700 --> 00:57:58,200
Your ancestors would have been
proud of, and then just kind of

865
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:03,100
walked away.
But So my point is, we don't

866
00:58:03,100 --> 00:58:07,700
have to deal with that, right?
And and so I think I think we

867
00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:11,500
kind of owe it to those folks in
a little bit to, to be out there

868
00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:14,300
a little more, right?
And and I think that that speaks

869
00:58:14,300 --> 00:58:16,600
volumes that that you guys have
agreed to come on.

870
00:58:16,700 --> 00:58:22,700
So all right, so for those who
don't belong to a group and I

871
00:58:22,700 --> 00:58:25,900
actually do want to hear from
from an and Teresa on this as

872
00:58:25,900 --> 00:58:30,800
well.
But for Independence, so Melissa

873
00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:35,900
and Andrea and Charlotte.
How do you guys manage to like

874
00:58:35,900 --> 00:58:39,600
Foster Sisterhood outside the
family, right?

875
00:58:39,600 --> 00:58:43,900
Because within the LDS church,
you have released society and

876
00:58:44,000 --> 00:58:46,400
realistically.
That's where 90% of the work

877
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:51,000
gets done in the LDS church and,
you know, I only say 90 and not

878
00:58:51,000 --> 00:58:53,900
99 because I'm trying to be nice
to the guys, but that's really

879
00:58:53,900 --> 00:58:57,200
the truth, right?
How do you, how do you guys?

880
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:10,500
Foster, that kind of Sisterhood
outside of a group, Well, on

881
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:16,200
Facebook, I admin for the
morning sentimentalism.

882
00:59:17,300 --> 00:59:19,800
What is it?
The Mormon fundamentalist Relief

883
00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:24,000
Society?
Okay, and then we also have.

884
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:28,100
I also hadn't been for the
Mormon fundamentalist Relief

885
00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:38,600
Society Fellowship Hall and
those are More specific to

886
00:59:38,900 --> 00:59:44,500
like-minded women.
And then I also I also have a

887
00:59:44,700 --> 00:59:54,400
like I'm an admin for the
principal and education which is

888
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:58,100
basically for women who have
questions more about the

889
00:59:58,100 --> 01:00:05,100
principal and you know polygamy
and I find that a lot of them

890
01:00:05,100 --> 01:00:10,200
still are interested.
I stood in the religious aspect

891
01:00:10,200 --> 01:00:18,100
that, They're just fascinated by
it Browns, a lot of ways because

892
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:22,800
because, you know, that's like
the big news in especially in

893
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:31,200
these days and and then I also
have friendships with women that

894
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:37,800
are like-minded.
Some people in Missouri that I

895
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:46,700
am That I have association with
and you know, it has been

896
01:00:46,700 --> 01:00:49,900
lonely.
Where I am, it's been very

897
01:00:49,900 --> 01:00:57,700
lonely.
So I have missed having that

898
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:05,700
weekly thing sometimes, but at
the same time, I also know that

899
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:16,600
I also know that.
I think I have a different.

900
01:01:18,200 --> 01:01:25,100
Maybe a different.
I'm trying to think the word.

901
01:01:28,600 --> 01:01:31,800
I think heavenly father has
something for me and I'm not

902
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:39,500
sure what I haven't felt to go
back to any group or join any

903
01:01:39,500 --> 01:01:49,900
group since then.
I've been very blessed in in the

904
01:01:49,900 --> 01:01:58,000
blessings that I have received
and No, I know.

905
01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:02,700
I know I have I have my own
mission.

906
01:02:03,900 --> 01:02:09,600
No.
So That's awesome.

907
01:02:12,100 --> 01:02:14,900
Charlotte and Melissa.
Do you guys want to take a stab

908
01:02:14,900 --> 01:02:20,600
at that too?
Okay, you know, I oh gosh, this

909
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:25,800
is very like, show myself.
So when I became a single mom,

910
01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:31,900
I've no longer met criteria to
be a good member of the church

911
01:02:31,900 --> 01:02:33,900
essentially and was treated as
such.

912
01:02:33,900 --> 01:02:36,700
Which, you know, I was, I was
pretty bad.

913
01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:40,200
Two, women who were divorced and
the church, there's there is a

914
01:02:40,200 --> 01:02:49,800
stigma maybe less so, but now,
but at the time I just Kind of,

915
01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:52,400
kept my mouth shut and my head
down because what could I

916
01:02:52,408 --> 01:02:55,600
possibly contribute as someone
who had a failed marriage.

917
01:02:56,500 --> 01:03:00,000
So, I was thinking, four and a
half years, and then I married,

918
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:05,500
someone who is less active and
so my kids, you know, and I just

919
01:03:08,100 --> 01:03:11,200
We just weren't really
acceptable or accepted which was

920
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:13,500
fine.
I mean, just like I just had

921
01:03:13,500 --> 01:03:17,800
less skin in the game and then I
also am a nurse and so I worked

922
01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:20,800
every other weekend.
So I took some heat for that

923
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:23,900
until someone had a grandchild
get born on my unit.

924
01:03:24,200 --> 01:03:28,800
So then suddenly it was, oh,
we're so glad you're at work on

925
01:03:28,800 --> 01:03:36,900
Sunday.
So for me, it It's been a loss

926
01:03:36,900 --> 01:03:41,300
to some degree, as far as the
niceties and the neighbors.

927
01:03:42,700 --> 01:03:50,200
being in a group, but We have a
fellowship that runs about twice

928
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:54,000
a month and then we also keep
the feasts.

929
01:03:54,000 --> 01:03:59,700
And so we kind of try to bring
people to us more than anything

930
01:03:59,700 --> 01:04:04,100
and then otherwise it's Facebook
and Marco Polo and what are you

931
01:04:04,100 --> 01:04:06,300
doing the other than our stuff
to?

932
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:10,300
Well that was your brings a lot
of people to our house.

933
01:04:10,300 --> 01:04:17,000
We have Fellowship every other
Sunday and we have Monthly and

934
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:21,600
annual events as well.
And so, the phase I'm in right

935
01:04:21,600 --> 01:04:25,400
now is I'm got all these kids
needing me and they need a

936
01:04:25,400 --> 01:04:28,700
social life too.
So I focus on the whole family

937
01:04:28,700 --> 01:04:31,100
stuff and so we'll have
fellowship and whole families,

938
01:04:31,100 --> 01:04:34,000
come to that and I'm excited
when there are children that

939
01:04:34,000 --> 01:04:36,900
come, that are my kids is age.
So they have someone to hang out

940
01:04:36,900 --> 01:04:41,100
with and then after a meetings,
we have a pollock and people

941
01:04:41,100 --> 01:04:44,100
stayed sometimes for hours and
that so that's I guess when I

942
01:04:44,100 --> 01:04:47,400
get my fill of like talking to
Are women and stuff, but I also

943
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:52,000
have a few friends and my mom
that I talked to on the phone or

944
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,800
on Marco Polo the socialized
that way.

945
01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:59,700
So maybe in another Faisal want
to do something else a few years

946
01:04:59,700 --> 01:05:02,200
ago, actually Melissa, and I
started a group called Utah,

947
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:06,700
United Sister, Wives.
We started that on Facebook

948
01:05:06,700 --> 01:05:08,900
because the purpose of that was
to get together.

949
01:05:08,900 --> 01:05:15,700
Women, who were currently Sister
Wives, or past or future, like,

950
01:05:15,900 --> 01:05:18,700
People who are interested in
practicing for our marriage to

951
01:05:18,700 --> 01:05:23,300
hang out.
And so we used to host Monthly

952
01:05:23,400 --> 01:05:25,500
events.
I think that it was just for the

953
01:05:25,508 --> 01:05:28,100
women and I think maybe we had
one whole family event, but

954
01:05:28,100 --> 01:05:32,100
usually it's just the women and
maybe we'll do it again sometime

955
01:05:32,100 --> 01:05:35,100
right now, we're kind of busy
with our tiny kids, you know,

956
01:05:35,100 --> 01:05:37,700
and so we haven't done that for
a while, but sometimes someone

957
01:05:37,700 --> 01:05:39,800
from that group will reach out
and say, hey, you guys should

958
01:05:39,800 --> 01:05:43,800
plan something again, so I don't
make really sure but the value

959
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:45,100
we try to focus on the
fellowship.

960
01:05:45,100 --> 01:05:50,700
I guess it's like family stuff
and nobody's really felt moved

961
01:05:50,700 --> 01:05:55,500
upon to do something.
Just everyone in right and I'm

962
01:05:55,500 --> 01:05:59,000
old and I have tiny kids.
So little sleep.

963
01:05:59,200 --> 01:06:05,100
So now I got you.
I understand that.

964
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:10,700
And Theresa what does Relief
Society look like in the branch?

965
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:16,200
Spell and wanted me to start
with this one so I'll start.

966
01:06:16,900 --> 01:06:20,800
So so we have meetings every
every Sunday first, there's an

967
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:26,500
array of meetings that range
from something spiritual to

968
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:28,600
something that you might be
learning.

969
01:06:31,700 --> 01:06:41,400
So, but explain that.
Well, okay, for example, a few

970
01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:45,700
years back, I talked about how I
love herbs and I really get it

971
01:06:45,707 --> 01:06:47,600
into herbs and everything like
that.

972
01:06:47,900 --> 01:06:52,500
I did I put together books that
were called natural home

973
01:06:52,500 --> 01:06:57,300
remedies and so I would talk
about I put together a whole

974
01:06:57,300 --> 01:07:00,800
section on colds and flus.
I put Whether a whole section on

975
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:05,500
stomach flus, I've been told sex
together on East and fungus and,

976
01:07:05,700 --> 01:07:10,400
and just all these different
problems that you could come up

977
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:15,000
with, and hope and try to treat
them yourself without having to

978
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,000
go to a doctor.
If you weren't able to go to a

979
01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:19,100
doctor.
So you want it to be able to

980
01:07:19,100 --> 01:07:22,800
have these things on hand,
because I can't tell you before,

981
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:25,900
I did that.
Okay, even since I've done that,

982
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,300
I get calls all the time.
Hey, I got this going on.

983
01:07:29,300 --> 01:07:31,700
I got This isn't this beep.
I get a lot of personal

984
01:07:31,700 --> 01:07:39,200
information from people.
Okay, I got it.

985
01:07:39,300 --> 01:07:42,700
So, we did that.
That was one of the classes.

986
01:07:42,700 --> 01:07:45,200
I did that every month and we
were putting out and we're

987
01:07:45,200 --> 01:07:49,100
talking about fairly large
volumes of books that I put

988
01:07:49,100 --> 01:07:54,000
together for that class.
So, again, they have other other

989
01:07:54,000 --> 01:07:55,500
things too, that other people
do.

990
01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:59,400
So sometimes they do different
nights.

991
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:03,200
Knightly things other days of
the week and Anne's going to

992
01:08:03,200 --> 01:08:10,300
talk about that Saturday's.
We Charlotte and Melissa have

993
01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:12,800
been here.
So they'll know we do work

994
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:15,000
parties and you know you've been
here.

995
01:08:15,300 --> 01:08:17,500
Yep.
So we do work parties every

996
01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:20,399
Saturday on.
So every Saturday work party

997
01:08:20,399 --> 01:08:25,899
consists of for the most part
men and women, sometimes they're

998
01:08:25,899 --> 01:08:29,300
combined, sometimes the women
off the men, sometimes the men

999
01:08:29,300 --> 01:08:33,300
will Help the women, especially
during gardening season, it's

1000
01:08:33,300 --> 01:08:36,399
definitely mixed up there and we
still a variety of people.

1001
01:08:37,300 --> 01:08:40,600
Today's Saturday, I've been over
here at our church building

1002
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:46,300
since 6:45 this morning, I made
breakfast for everybody which

1003
01:08:46,300 --> 01:08:49,300
probably was about at least 60
people.

1004
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:53,800
Well, you know, that came to the
work party and so we had

1005
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:58,200
breakfast and then immediately
following the work party, And we

1006
01:08:58,200 --> 01:09:01,600
all break up into what are
different.

1007
01:09:01,700 --> 01:09:04,600
You know, things are the men
went to what they were doing.

1008
01:09:05,399 --> 01:09:09,600
I run the women's side of it, so
I get everybody lined up on the

1009
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:11,500
women's side of it and what
they're doing.

1010
01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:15,399
So today we had we were making
french bread today.

1011
01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:19,200
So we made french bread, we'll
have a couple of other girls, I

1012
01:09:19,207 --> 01:09:21,100
will come in and get lunch
ready.

1013
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:25,100
So that Lunch is ready and we
can eat it there during that

1014
01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:31,200
time and And let's see, there
was about four of us we were

1015
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:32,500
getting stuff ready for the
fries.

1016
01:09:32,500 --> 01:09:35,300
Dryers get them all clean.
Get things loaded into going to

1017
01:09:35,300 --> 01:09:38,800
that sometimes we're running
dehydrated or scanning sometimes

1018
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:43,000
they're working green houses.
A variety of things that we do

1019
01:09:43,399 --> 01:09:47,200
as the relief society and as a
whole church, you know?

1020
01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:52,500
So where we have meeting on
Sunday, we're together every

1021
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:56,300
Saturday and Vance going to talk
about some of the other stuff

1022
01:09:56,300 --> 01:09:58,400
that we do.
I get everything you, you got,

1023
01:09:58,400 --> 01:09:59,700
do too good.
But what you're going to talk

1024
01:09:59,700 --> 01:10:02,100
about now.
So I have other things to say.

1025
01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:06,400
So, you know, we have I wasn't
released to study teacher here

1026
01:10:06,400 --> 01:10:09,800
for years.
I don't know, at least ten maybe

1027
01:10:09,800 --> 01:10:14,000
longer and you know our relief
societies on Sundays, we have

1028
01:10:14,000 --> 01:10:17,800
lessons, there's a spiritual us
and there's a lesson on on

1029
01:10:17,800 --> 01:10:21,600
church history, there's lessons
on things that are fun.

1030
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:25,800
Like, you know, Teresa also did
like we did tease, we've Made

1031
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:30,300
Easy, you know, Pour soap for
Relief Society.

1032
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:33,600
We've also made some candies
around the holidays to teach

1033
01:10:33,600 --> 01:10:39,100
kids, you know, young women and
and the US older women, how to

1034
01:10:39,100 --> 01:10:42,100
have fun making candies for the
holidays, different as a Relief

1035
01:10:42,100 --> 01:10:45,700
Society things.
So that was a lot of fun, but we

1036
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:48,900
also do like enrichments, like
she said, homemaking depending

1037
01:10:48,900 --> 01:10:53,700
on where you are in life, how
you might know that phrase, but

1038
01:10:53,700 --> 01:10:56,300
we do things like a couple weeks
ago.

1039
01:10:56,700 --> 01:11:02,700
We Friday night where we made
homemade goat soap and taught

1040
01:11:02,700 --> 01:11:06,500
everybody, how to make soap from
scratch and that was a lot of

1041
01:11:06,500 --> 01:11:08,300
fun.
We've done some other things you

1042
01:11:08,300 --> 01:11:12,100
know, with quilting and stuff.
If you know i-i've had a calling

1043
01:11:12,100 --> 01:11:15,900
Teresa and I were in the
primaries for a gosh, a couple

1044
01:11:15,900 --> 01:11:20,900
years anyway back when we first
moved out to this area and you

1045
01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:23,400
know we did bunch of activities
that way as well.

1046
01:11:23,700 --> 01:11:27,100
And so for us you know there's a
lot of different types of Ways

1047
01:11:27,100 --> 01:11:29,500
that we can socialize here
because we have a group of

1048
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:33,900
people that that are here.
I know David where you're going

1049
01:11:33,900 --> 01:11:36,600
to church, you know, you guys
have some activities and stuff

1050
01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:39,500
there that you can associate
with not just like a public on

1051
01:11:39,500 --> 01:11:42,500
Sunday, but you're going to
start doing some other things.

1052
01:11:42,500 --> 01:11:46,300
And, and so that's another way
that, you know, people in you

1053
01:11:46,300 --> 01:11:48,800
talk and socialise their members
of our church as well.

1054
01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:55,200
You know, we have, Thursday
evenings, we do what we call a

1055
01:11:55,208 --> 01:11:59,500
missionary class and you know,
we have young men's and women's

1056
01:11:59,500 --> 01:12:04,300
and we have primary activities
that happen once a week, you

1057
01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:05,400
know?
And then we have our regular

1058
01:12:05,400 --> 01:12:07,500
Sunday meanings just like the
LDS church do.

1059
01:12:07,500 --> 01:12:12,900
So there's a lot of commonality
there between the Salt Lake LDS

1060
01:12:12,900 --> 01:12:16,800
church, you know, and, and our
own when it comes to meetings,

1061
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:20,800
one of the reasons why it was so
easy for me to join

1062
01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:23,500
Christchurch.
The branch was Because of these

1063
01:12:23,500 --> 01:12:28,200
common, you know, structures
that we have and in our common

1064
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:30,700
beliefs, that's what made me go,
you know.

1065
01:12:30,700 --> 01:12:33,800
Okay.
I think, you know, this is where

1066
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:39,400
I need to move to and transition
in my faith, process and

1067
01:12:39,400 --> 01:12:41,600
growing.
And I've learned so much, you

1068
01:12:41,600 --> 01:12:45,000
know, but one of the things I
mentioned earlier was that, you

1069
01:12:45,008 --> 01:12:48,800
know, I have a harder time when
my family kind of ostracized me

1070
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:55,500
and the members here, Have
really become my family.

1071
01:12:56,100 --> 01:13:00,800
You know, we socialize and do a
lot of fun activities together

1072
01:13:00,800 --> 01:13:06,400
and, you know, we have a really
good time and I know that being

1073
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:09,600
gathered here.
You know, we have somebody that

1074
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:12,600
we can count on but we can lean
on, we can get some help.

1075
01:13:12,700 --> 01:13:15,500
I can call Teresa and say, Hey,
you know, my grandson has this

1076
01:13:15,500 --> 01:13:19,000
rash and I have somebody to talk
to about it, you know, I don't

1077
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:22,400
have to run off somewhere.
And so, having just somebody to

1078
01:13:22,400 --> 01:13:25,800
talk, Talk to friends to hang
out with has been a lot of fun.

1079
01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:28,800
That's awesome.
Now, nobody mentioned any of the

1080
01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:30,900
QT signs?
I know Relief Society made her

1081
01:13:30,900 --> 01:13:33,800
ton during the 90s, you know,
the ones that would come with

1082
01:13:33,800 --> 01:13:37,200
like, the, the scriptures
attached to them and yeah, all

1083
01:13:37,200 --> 01:13:39,700
that.
So I want one, take that for

1084
01:13:39,700 --> 01:13:42,000
granted, that's just an
automatic.

1085
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:46,400
That's just an automatic, right?
I was, I was teasing Amber and

1086
01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:49,700
Tanya here, a couple days ago, I
want one that says this Sanders

1087
01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:51,900
family, we put the fun in
fundamentalism.

1088
01:13:52,700 --> 01:13:57,200
Two other haven't haven't quite
got to that point yet but

1089
01:13:57,700 --> 01:13:59,400
awesome, thanks for sharing
that.

1090
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:05,000
So as as Women Within
fundamentalism, do you guys find

1091
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:07,400
yourselves having to kind of
like push back against

1092
01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:16,800
stereotypes a lot?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'll

1093
01:14:16,800 --> 01:14:19,900
continue on.
You know there is a lot of

1094
01:14:19,900 --> 01:14:23,500
stereotypical stuff, you know I
mean we're not all wearing

1095
01:14:23,500 --> 01:14:27,800
Prairie dresses, we're not all
have the same hairdos and you

1096
01:14:27,800 --> 01:14:31,600
know, one of the things that one
of my cousin's said was that she

1097
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:35,700
she said, you know, I really
couldn't live familism because I

1098
01:14:35,700 --> 01:14:39,500
don't want my hair in braids all
the time and I'm like braids

1099
01:14:39,500 --> 01:14:44,800
aren't just for Lists, you know.
And so, you know, it's just,

1100
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:46,900
it's funny with some of these
things, you know, or like

1101
01:14:47,100 --> 01:14:50,000
someone had, I've met somebody
online and they had the one of

1102
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:53,200
Andreas groups that she manages
on Facebook and they had sent me

1103
01:14:53,200 --> 01:14:55,400
a message and and they said, you
know, do you have to wear a

1104
01:14:55,407 --> 01:14:57,000
dress all the time?
And I said, there are some

1105
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,700
people that want to wear dresses
all the time and then there are

1106
01:14:59,700 --> 01:15:02,500
people like me who are more
comfortable in jeans, you know,

1107
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:08,800
I mean, it's, it's your personal
choice and you know, but there

1108
01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:12,500
are a lot of those stereotypes.
Words like they think that we're

1109
01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:15,600
probably all following, you
know, someone similar to Warren

1110
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:18,200
Jeffs and all the women are
oppressed and none of us have

1111
01:15:18,200 --> 01:15:20,500
opinions.
And you know, I told Craig

1112
01:15:20,500 --> 01:15:24,700
Foster who's an author of a book
on polygamy or a couple of them

1113
01:15:24,700 --> 01:15:27,700
and and I told him, I said, you
know, it's interesting how there

1114
01:15:27,700 --> 01:15:31,400
was these stereotypes about
fundamentalist women and we all

1115
01:15:31,400 --> 01:15:35,900
are just, you know, being told
what to do all the time and our

1116
01:15:35,900 --> 01:15:39,500
husbands are in charge of us and
we can't think for ourselves,

1117
01:15:39,500 --> 01:15:42,300
and I said, my honestly, I
haven't been to fundamentalist

1118
01:15:42,300 --> 01:15:45,600
woman that fits that
stereotypical mold yet.

1119
01:15:45,600 --> 01:15:48,400
We all have our own brains will
have our own opinions.

1120
01:15:48,700 --> 01:15:53,300
A lot of us have very prominent
careers and education even if we

1121
01:15:53,300 --> 01:15:58,800
decide to stay home with our
families, we have interests and

1122
01:15:59,000 --> 01:16:02,000
you know a lot of times I mean
in our family you know Dan gets

1123
01:16:02,000 --> 01:16:07,100
left at home a lot so he does
he's home there alone.

1124
01:16:07,100 --> 01:16:10,600
Now what's the you know dogs and
everybody else is out doing.

1125
01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:15,900
Being and having fun.
So, you know, it's It's breaking

1126
01:16:15,900 --> 01:16:18,800
down some of these when people
meet us you know and there's

1127
01:16:18,800 --> 01:16:21,200
rumors out where we live and
people, you know it's funny

1128
01:16:21,400 --> 01:16:25,100
nobody wants to like totally
confront you and bring it up and

1129
01:16:25,100 --> 01:16:28,600
ask you direct questions and
probably because they don't want

1130
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:30,000
to hear the answer.
Really.

1131
01:16:30,300 --> 01:16:34,500
But you know, they will say
things like oh yeah, you know,

1132
01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:38,600
there was it was interesting
because the flds actually has a

1133
01:16:38,600 --> 01:16:43,000
couple companies and they got a
contract in our town and they

1134
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:46,400
were redoing some Water pipes.
And so, you know, there were

1135
01:16:46,400 --> 01:16:51,100
some women here, that dress like
them and stuff and you know, we

1136
01:16:51,100 --> 01:16:53,600
were always really nice to them
and help them out or talk to him

1137
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:55,500
and try to say hi when they were
around.

1138
01:16:55,800 --> 01:16:58,400
But then after they all left,
you know, after that, three

1139
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:00,900
months, when they were fixing,
the Water Supplies rumors are

1140
01:17:00,900 --> 01:17:02,900
going around and they've come up
to me at work.

1141
01:17:02,900 --> 01:17:06,200
Think I can have you seen any of
those prayer dress women that

1142
01:17:06,200 --> 01:17:09,400
walk around but night, you could
only see him at night out in

1143
01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:13,200
your neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure that that's

1144
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:17,000
where they were from.
It's like, you know, which we

1145
01:17:17,000 --> 01:17:20,700
need to talk about some of these
things because all of these fun

1146
01:17:20,700 --> 01:17:24,200
rumors and these stereotypes
aren't necessarily true and that

1147
01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:27,800
you can't pick me out of the
crowd, you know, on a regular

1148
01:17:27,800 --> 01:17:33,200
day in Vegas or Reno or anywhere
else that I might show up.

1149
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:35,900
And tell me that I'm a
fundamentalist because of the

1150
01:17:35,900 --> 01:17:38,600
way, my hair is done or the
clothes that I wear or the

1151
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:42,700
speech that I use, you can't
tell me any different from

1152
01:17:43,000 --> 01:17:45,700
whether you're a Mormon in,
Nailed it has Church from Salt

1153
01:17:45,700 --> 01:17:49,900
Lake or if you're just a
Christian and it's all about how

1154
01:17:49,900 --> 01:17:52,100
we treat people.
I think that's the best thing

1155
01:17:52,100 --> 01:17:56,000
that's going to help people.
Not be afraid to talk to us

1156
01:17:56,300 --> 01:17:59,600
about the decisions that we made
about the religion that we live.

1157
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:04,500
It's in being kind and
respectful and an honoring, that

1158
01:18:04,500 --> 01:18:07,600
people have choices that they
want to make in their life.

1159
01:18:07,600 --> 01:18:13,500
And You know, I just I'm really
grateful that I have this

1160
01:18:13,500 --> 01:18:16,400
opportunity to share some of
that, you know, here and to go

1161
01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:20,700
online and talk to people and to
bust some of these now because

1162
01:18:20,700 --> 01:18:24,100
we're not who everybody thinks
we are right then.

1163
01:18:25,200 --> 01:18:27,300
Absolutely.
He said you have anything you

1164
01:18:27,308 --> 01:18:28,800
want.
Yeah, absolutely.

1165
01:18:28,800 --> 01:18:37,100
So actually what I joined
Christchurch Probably the

1166
01:18:37,100 --> 01:18:41,000
biggest stereotype at the time
was, I was browbeaten.

1167
01:18:41,400 --> 01:18:45,300
You know, you know, of course,
my husband had to browbeat me to

1168
01:18:45,900 --> 01:18:50,200
join this religion, you know,
and, you know, and I had to put

1169
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,000
a stop to that.
I said no, actually.

1170
01:18:53,700 --> 01:18:57,600
I didn't browbeat him, but he by
farted browbeat me.

1171
01:18:58,300 --> 01:19:01,800
I remember one Sunday, you know,
we had been studying and

1172
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:05,600
studying and going to church
every Sunday and one Sunday.

1173
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:09,300
He was taking a nap, and I just
couldn't go to sleep.

1174
01:19:09,400 --> 01:19:13,800
And so finally, I went down and
I sat on the bed by him and kind

1175
01:19:13,800 --> 01:19:17,600
of woke him up.
And I said, I'm feeling like the

1176
01:19:17,600 --> 01:19:20,600
fence sitter here.
I'm feeling like we need to make

1177
01:19:20,600 --> 01:19:25,000
a choice.
You know, and I'm the one who

1178
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:29,700
pushed that choice.
Not him, not him by any stretch

1179
01:19:29,700 --> 01:19:34,900
of the imagination.
Fast forward how many years

1180
01:19:34,900 --> 01:19:38,600
later?
And I'm going to apologize now

1181
01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:42,700
because I might cry.
I'm no longer married.

1182
01:19:45,100 --> 01:19:50,500
He's gone with what was my best
friend?

1183
01:19:54,300 --> 01:19:58,800
But they made that choice.
And I chose not to go with them.

1184
01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:05,000
Because I felt that the truth
was here and this was where I

1185
01:20:05,000 --> 01:20:16,200
needed to be and there, they
weren't following truth. so by

1186
01:20:16,200 --> 01:20:21,700
the stereotypes, That were given
in the world.

1187
01:20:22,500 --> 01:20:25,100
I wouldn't have even had that
opportunity to make that choice

1188
01:20:25,100 --> 01:20:27,300
to stay here.
Right?

1189
01:20:28,000 --> 01:20:31,300
Right.
But I did, and I'm here today

1190
01:20:31,700 --> 01:20:37,200
and another stereotype is that
you have to be married.

1191
01:20:38,300 --> 01:20:44,400
I'm not married, still he left
in 2016 was are divorced.

1192
01:20:44,400 --> 01:20:48,200
I still to this day, I'm not
married and, you know, I've

1193
01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:55,000
spoken to the priesthood and and
I told them I don't want to be

1194
01:20:55,000 --> 01:21:01,800
bad by not getting married but
I'm damaged and I feel like I

1195
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:05,000
need to give me some time before
I do that.

1196
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:11,300
You know, and I am 100%.
In the right and they said

1197
01:21:11,300 --> 01:21:14,000
absolutely you need to fix
yourself.

1198
01:21:15,700 --> 01:21:19,800
You know, so again, maybe not
fix yourself, but just spend

1199
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:22,300
some time with you.
You know what I mean?

1200
01:21:22,300 --> 01:21:25,300
And I don't think six yourself,
I mean, you know, yeah, you need

1201
01:21:25,300 --> 01:21:28,500
to work on you work on you,
right?

1202
01:21:28,500 --> 01:21:33,900
Or and, but again, by the world
standards, how many single women

1203
01:21:33,900 --> 01:21:37,700
are you going to see in a
fundamentalist group right now?

1204
01:21:37,900 --> 01:21:43,000
And it's accepted and giving
given responsibility and that

1205
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:45,300
can voice her own opinions and
share her.

1206
01:21:45,500 --> 01:21:48,400
Her her life.
And I'm actually asked opinions

1207
01:21:48,400 --> 01:21:51,100
from the members of the
priesthood about many things,

1208
01:21:51,500 --> 01:21:54,400
right?
And I feel like I have an

1209
01:21:54,400 --> 01:21:56,800
opinion and I feel like my
opinion matters.

1210
01:21:57,800 --> 01:21:59,300
It's awesome.
Yeah.

1211
01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,900
Thanks for sharing that tree.
So I know that was kind of tough

1212
01:22:03,700 --> 01:22:05,800
Andrea.
Do you want to take a stab at

1213
01:22:05,800 --> 01:22:08,800
this before we move on to
Charlotte and Melissa again?

1214
01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:18,300
Sorry, I had to unmute just
fine.

1215
01:22:18,400 --> 01:22:20,200
You're just fine.
Don't sweat that a bit.

1216
01:22:20,700 --> 01:22:23,000
Yeah, that's technical
difficulties.

1217
01:22:26,500 --> 01:22:35,400
So I definitely agree with and I
think that fundamentalist women

1218
01:22:35,400 --> 01:22:39,700
are some of the most outspoken
women that you can ever meet.

1219
01:22:40,500 --> 01:22:49,100
They have very strong opinions.
They they are extremely firm in

1220
01:22:49,100 --> 01:22:51,500
their thoughts, generally
speaking.

1221
01:22:51,500 --> 01:22:58,700
I think that they usually have a
lot of strong opinions about a

1222
01:22:58,708 --> 01:23:03,600
lot of topics and a lot of
principles of the gospel.

1223
01:23:04,100 --> 01:23:13,700
And I I think that people really
do not understand.

1224
01:23:17,300 --> 01:23:26,700
I think they don't understand
how how much study and time

1225
01:23:27,700 --> 01:23:31,800
women put into learning about
the gospel.

1226
01:23:37,500 --> 01:23:45,900
And like, I mean, even before I
was married, I was opinionated

1227
01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:52,300
that I told my husband, I told
my husband, I wouldn't marry him

1228
01:23:52,300 --> 01:24:00,900
if he didn't, if he did, not
live plural marriage and it

1229
01:24:00,900 --> 01:24:05,400
wasn't because of my parents.
That I have that.

1230
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:09,600
Opinion.
It was because I knew that that

1231
01:24:09,600 --> 01:24:15,000
was what I wanted and that what,
that was what God wanted for me.

1232
01:24:15,700 --> 01:24:26,400
And so, you know, I just feel
like so many people really don't

1233
01:24:26,400 --> 01:24:32,000
understand.
How much, how much thought and

1234
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:40,300
time goes in into what we
believe, right?

1235
01:24:40,800 --> 01:24:43,200
No, I think that's a very valid
point.

1236
01:24:43,200 --> 01:24:49,600
I I appreciate you sharing that
that because especially the part

1237
01:24:49,600 --> 01:24:52,600
about plural marriage, right?
Because I think there's this

1238
01:24:52,600 --> 01:24:56,100
misconception of, well, you're
born into order, you convert to

1239
01:24:56,100 --> 01:24:58,400
it and you just have to submit
right.

1240
01:24:58,600 --> 01:25:01,800
Kind of the way it was and and
the way you put that I think was

1241
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:05,600
beautiful is that it was it was
important to you that principle

1242
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:08,900
was important to you.
As I'm sure all the principles

1243
01:25:08,900 --> 01:25:10,800
of the restored gospel are so
that.

1244
01:25:10,800 --> 01:25:12,500
That was awesome.
I appreciate that.

1245
01:25:14,100 --> 01:25:20,000
Charlotte Melissa.
Yeah, there's some stereotypes

1246
01:25:20,000 --> 01:25:23,500
that I like to Buck against I
guess.

1247
01:25:23,800 --> 01:25:27,100
One of them though, actually,
this is funny because I was very

1248
01:25:27,100 --> 01:25:32,300
slow to reject this stereotype.
This is actually about men, not

1249
01:25:32,300 --> 01:25:37,400
women but You guys all know the
name, Joe darker.

1250
01:25:37,400 --> 01:25:40,900
I bet he's a somewhat famous
pulling this man, who has three

1251
01:25:40,900 --> 01:25:43,400
wives, who lives in Salt, Lake
City area.

1252
01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:49,300
And when I first, I was, I was
already pulling his and I heard

1253
01:25:49,300 --> 01:25:54,600
about this guy who had three
wives, and my gut reaction was

1254
01:25:54,900 --> 01:26:01,300
what a creep to have three wives
and then I had to like, why did

1255
01:26:01,300 --> 01:26:05,500
I why was that my initial
reaction to that like Don't know

1256
01:26:05,500 --> 01:26:09,300
anything about him besides that.
And what I, what I realize and

1257
01:26:09,300 --> 01:26:13,400
actually wrote an essay about
put on my blog is that it's

1258
01:26:13,400 --> 01:26:19,300
actually the other way around.
It's like 43 women who are

1259
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:23,900
independent educated smart,
beautiful, and have choice in

1260
01:26:23,900 --> 01:26:28,100
the matter, for three women, to
each individually, choose him as

1261
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:30,600
a husband, of course, he's not
going to be a creep.

1262
01:26:30,600 --> 01:26:34,600
They're not going to choose a
creep for a man to sustain.

1263
01:26:35,200 --> 01:26:39,400
Three marriages with women who
have choice in the matter, which

1264
01:26:39,400 --> 01:26:43,200
has all the fun, you know, the
fun of this Mentalist women that

1265
01:26:43,200 --> 01:26:46,600
I know then it actually it
actually should be the other way

1266
01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:48,100
around.
I should hear that.

1267
01:26:48,100 --> 01:26:50,200
And my initial reaction should
be.

1268
01:26:50,500 --> 01:26:52,300
Wow, he must be a really good
husband.

1269
01:26:52,800 --> 01:26:54,700
He must be a really good guy for
that.

1270
01:26:54,700 --> 01:26:57,500
Many women to want to marry him
and to stay married.

1271
01:26:58,200 --> 01:27:02,600
So so that is one stereotype
that even I had to like fix in

1272
01:27:02,600 --> 01:27:07,100
myself as like, you know, in
like Some situations, there's no

1273
01:27:07,900 --> 01:27:12,700
agency, I guess, but but for the
people I hang out with it's just

1274
01:27:12,700 --> 01:27:16,800
the other way around.
And I used to be shy about being

1275
01:27:16,800 --> 01:27:20,000
from this for that same reason
because I thought when someone

1276
01:27:20,000 --> 01:27:22,500
finds out that I'm a plural
wife, they're going to think

1277
01:27:22,500 --> 01:27:25,400
certain things about me.
And there was actually, one

1278
01:27:25,400 --> 01:27:31,000
instance, I remember the very
first time I met, sorry,

1279
01:27:31,000 --> 01:27:33,100
someone's knocking on the door
and ready.

1280
01:27:33,400 --> 01:27:38,500
It's a little get that is but
The first time I met someone and

1281
01:27:38,500 --> 01:27:40,200
it had this experience all this
tell you.

1282
01:27:40,200 --> 01:27:47,200
So we went to an event at the.
Do you guys call it what you

1283
01:27:47,208 --> 01:27:50,000
guys call them church?
That's like an Santaquin area or

1284
01:27:50,000 --> 01:27:55,000
Elkridge or whatever.
The Peterson group has a ranch.

1285
01:27:56,400 --> 01:27:58,600
Yeah but sorry that like where
the missionaries live.

1286
01:27:58,800 --> 01:28:03,400
What's that building?
Where the mission, where the?

1287
01:28:10,100 --> 01:28:19,900
I don't know if they have a name
for the missionaries and so

1288
01:28:19,900 --> 01:28:21,700
there were a lot of like
Peterson people and also

1289
01:28:21,700 --> 01:28:26,000
Independence there and I
introduced myself.

1290
01:28:26,100 --> 01:28:29,900
Off to women and pointed across
the room and said, and that's my

1291
01:28:29,900 --> 01:28:35,700
sister wife and she was an only
wife and she said, you have a

1292
01:28:35,700 --> 01:28:38,500
sister wife.
Oh, that's wonderful.

1293
01:28:38,500 --> 01:28:43,100
I wish I had a sister wife, I
hope someday I can have a sister

1294
01:28:43,100 --> 01:28:48,600
wife and I was like, oh yeah,
out of that.

1295
01:28:48,600 --> 01:28:50,900
And that was like a turning
point for me to like go from

1296
01:28:50,900 --> 01:28:53,500
being kind of shy and
embarrassed about it being like

1297
01:28:53,600 --> 01:28:57,900
and I have, this is what I like,
I like I am mature enough person

1298
01:28:57,900 --> 01:29:00,600
that I can maintain like
relationship and share my

1299
01:29:00,600 --> 01:29:02,500
husband's stuff.
So that was like, stuff.

1300
01:29:02,500 --> 01:29:06,000
I had to fix on my own in my own
brain about it, but one of them

1301
01:29:06,000 --> 01:29:09,700
is just that women like, oh, no,
they definitely have choice for

1302
01:29:09,700 --> 01:29:12,500
the most part and even in like
the Warren Jeffs situations

1303
01:29:12,900 --> 01:29:17,000
that's like, parents imposing
things on their 12, year old

1304
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:19,800
girls.
Like the priesthood probably

1305
01:29:19,800 --> 01:29:23,900
doesn't have as much power as,
as the parents, the parents do.

1306
01:29:23,900 --> 01:29:25,400
But I'm not going to really
speak to that.

1307
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:26,500
I'm not in it.
Ready on that.

1308
01:29:26,500 --> 01:29:29,600
But like, Melissa and I
definitely have choice in who

1309
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,300
were married to.
And whether we stick around and

1310
01:29:32,700 --> 01:29:36,500
and stuff, and like, you can
Brigham Young would teach that

1311
01:29:36,600 --> 01:29:38,600
like women.
They can leave their marriages,

1312
01:29:38,600 --> 01:29:43,200
anytime they want to, and that's
like, puts a ton of pressure on

1313
01:29:43,200 --> 01:29:48,100
the husband to give the women
reasons to stay with them.

1314
01:29:48,900 --> 01:29:54,000
There's no compulsion in it and
in some cases, it's even like

1315
01:29:54,200 --> 01:29:58,500
there's no guilt about it
because It's like I could leave

1316
01:29:58,500 --> 01:30:01,900
Joshua and I wouldn't even leave
him alone.

1317
01:30:02,100 --> 01:30:05,300
You know, he could just go right
on with the wife that he would

1318
01:30:05,300 --> 01:30:08,200
keep if I were to leave him and
so, I don't know.

1319
01:30:08,200 --> 01:30:12,400
I feel like I used to think
there there was no choice in and

1320
01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,200
now I realize it's quite the
other way around.

1321
01:30:14,200 --> 01:30:18,400
There's like lots of choices in
it for women and the other one

1322
01:30:18,500 --> 01:30:23,200
that I wanted to speak to is The
Stereotype that that we are

1323
01:30:23,200 --> 01:30:30,700
uneducated.
I love keeping like keeping my

1324
01:30:30,700 --> 01:30:34,300
cards close to my chest and then
like revealing at some point,

1325
01:30:34,300 --> 01:30:38,700
the fact that Joshua and Melissa
and I are all college-educated

1326
01:30:38,700 --> 01:30:41,800
between the three of us.
I think we have six degrees

1327
01:30:42,400 --> 01:30:47,600
including two, graduate degrees.
So so that's always fun because

1328
01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:50,000
we surprised people that's like,
not what they're expecting, you

1329
01:30:50,000 --> 01:30:52,500
know.
So we break the mold that way.

1330
01:30:52,500 --> 01:30:55,000
I guess, although we weren't
raised fundamentalist and That's

1331
01:30:55,000 --> 01:30:58,800
part of it.
But yeah, I guess there are.

1332
01:30:59,700 --> 01:31:02,100
I hope I answered the question
about you did.

1333
01:31:03,700 --> 01:31:05,700
Melissa, how about you?
Yeah.

1334
01:31:05,700 --> 01:31:10,000
So gosh, it's easy to fly under
the radar but I had a Tipping

1335
01:31:10,000 --> 01:31:14,200
Point with that and that's when
I had a child and then surely

1336
01:31:14,200 --> 01:31:17,400
out at, um, then I had another
child and so they used to be

1337
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:19,900
that I could.
Like at work say oh, these are

1338
01:31:19,900 --> 01:31:24,100
my bonus kids and nobody ever
had any questions.

1339
01:31:24,900 --> 01:31:28,200
Except, unless I wanted to
reveal that we were at, they

1340
01:31:28,200 --> 01:31:31,600
just decided they assume their
step because a lot of stuff

1341
01:31:31,600 --> 01:31:34,500
found was referring to the
children of the former wife as

1342
01:31:35,700 --> 01:31:40,000
as bonus kids and so, but that
kinda got fouled up, right?

1343
01:31:40,000 --> 01:31:43,600
So then I was like, ohh crowd.
What do I, what do I say?

1344
01:31:43,800 --> 01:31:49,000
And I've really come to this
place of just like, and I think

1345
01:31:49,000 --> 01:31:53,800
it's because we've lost so many
friends and so much family that

1346
01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,300
I really need to Have right
away.

1347
01:31:55,300 --> 01:32:00,500
Hey, are you a keeper or not?
And so, I often will lead with

1348
01:32:00,500 --> 01:32:05,000
were multiple wife family and
there's that moment, like

1349
01:32:05,000 --> 01:32:07,800
they're going to grind some
gears with that because it's

1350
01:32:07,800 --> 01:32:09,600
not, I'm not.
I haven't said we're

1351
01:32:09,600 --> 01:32:10,500
polygamists.
You know.

1352
01:32:10,500 --> 01:32:12,100
Etc, etc.
But they've got, they kind of

1353
01:32:12,108 --> 01:32:13,700
got to go a long way around the
world with that.

1354
01:32:13,708 --> 01:32:18,700
And as I know very quickly are
they going to be somebody that's

1355
01:32:18,700 --> 01:32:22,500
you know, supportive or not and
they don't need to be supportive

1356
01:32:22,500 --> 01:32:25,800
or not they just I just Need to
know if I want to keep them

1357
01:32:25,800 --> 01:32:28,600
around or not.
And so I think that's part of

1358
01:32:28,600 --> 01:32:31,600
it.
I do find having been married

1359
01:32:31,600 --> 01:32:36,000
before that in monogamy
especially within the church.

1360
01:32:36,100 --> 01:32:39,800
It's like you stick with that
marriage, no matter what you do,

1361
01:32:39,800 --> 01:32:41,800
you're going to give you made
these comments, you're going to

1362
01:32:41,808 --> 01:32:43,700
stay no matter what, no matter
what.

1363
01:32:43,700 --> 01:32:49,100
And then at the same time with
plural families, it seems like

1364
01:32:49,100 --> 01:32:55,000
when I come to things in
society, they're very very Eager

1365
01:32:55,400 --> 01:32:58,300
to, like, kind of pick at things
and be like, hey, you know,

1366
01:32:58,900 --> 01:33:02,200
looking for reasons why I should
leave or why, you know, this

1367
01:33:02,200 --> 01:33:03,600
family should do you divide it
up?

1368
01:33:03,600 --> 01:33:10,900
And that's very strange to me
especially since like I stayed

1369
01:33:10,900 --> 01:33:15,700
in a first monogamous marriage
far longer than I would counsel

1370
01:33:15,700 --> 01:33:19,200
myself to stay you know, looking
back.

1371
01:33:20,500 --> 01:33:24,800
Gosh.
It's been what 23 years ago and

1372
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:28,900
so that's been very interesting.
The Stereotype that I need to be

1373
01:33:28,900 --> 01:33:32,700
rescued.
That I'm brainwashed that I'm

1374
01:33:32,700 --> 01:33:36,200
not very smart and that I'm
weak, willed, I like that one a

1375
01:33:36,208 --> 01:33:39,800
lot.
Yeah, we will depart, hmm.

1376
01:33:40,500 --> 01:33:44,800
I don't think people realize the
burdens that plural husbands are

1377
01:33:44,800 --> 01:33:46,600
under.
I mean, my poor husband died.

1378
01:33:46,600 --> 01:33:50,100
This pending blog post, I
haven't published yet, but There

1379
01:33:50,100 --> 01:33:54,100
was one weekend when I was doing
shortly after, with my

1380
01:33:54,100 --> 01:33:58,000
three-year-old and the poor man
was replacing two dishwashers

1381
01:33:58,000 --> 01:34:03,300
and to microwaves that weekend.
And and it became quite the

1382
01:34:03,300 --> 01:34:06,500
project because said, whoever
had done the microwave before

1383
01:34:06,500 --> 01:34:08,800
they done wiring weird and whole
nine yards.

1384
01:34:08,800 --> 01:34:12,000
And so, and I just remember,
feeling this immense amount of

1385
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:17,300
pity for this man, Heba
struggling to install these

1386
01:34:17,300 --> 01:34:22,600
appliances and I don't think
people realize like they want to

1387
01:34:22,600 --> 01:34:28,000
cast floral husbands as those
creepy guys and they don't

1388
01:34:28,000 --> 01:34:34,200
realize that it is immense
amount of work and care to take

1389
01:34:34,200 --> 01:34:39,600
care of strong-willed.
Independent Women who at any

1390
01:34:39,600 --> 01:34:44,400
point in time can get together
and say we've decided against

1391
01:34:45,200 --> 01:34:50,800
and so yeah, I think that
there's not enough Really

1392
01:34:51,000 --> 01:34:55,700
respect given to those men.
They're just treated as as

1393
01:34:56,900 --> 01:35:02,600
overlords and men who want to
own women essentially.

1394
01:35:03,200 --> 01:35:08,500
Right.
Couple things are what is you're

1395
01:35:08,500 --> 01:35:09,700
right about.
Brigham Young.

1396
01:35:10,600 --> 01:35:13,800
I read an interesting book years
and years and years ago before I

1397
01:35:13,808 --> 01:35:17,400
was ever a fundamentalist about
Brigham in his tenure as

1398
01:35:17,400 --> 01:35:21,200
president of the LDS church and
And typically if a woman came

1399
01:35:21,200 --> 01:35:24,500
and told burgum, hey I need a
divorce, this is not working out

1400
01:35:24,500 --> 01:35:26,800
Brigham's, like done, you're
good.

1401
01:35:27,200 --> 01:35:29,800
If you were a dude and wouldn't
ask for a divorce he's like suck

1402
01:35:29,800 --> 01:35:32,700
it up buttercup, right?
Go be a better husband.

1403
01:35:33,000 --> 01:35:38,000
So yeah he was he was absolutely
that way as I've heard all of

1404
01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:43,300
you talk I mean I'm going to
reveal just how simple and

1405
01:35:43,300 --> 01:35:46,300
unsophisticated, I am here.
There's two movies I watch once

1406
01:35:46,300 --> 01:35:49,800
a month.
Religiously one is Tombstone and

1407
01:35:49,800 --> 01:35:53,100
the other is 300 about the
Spartans.

1408
01:35:54,000 --> 01:36:01,300
And when, when the Persians send
in the Emissary to talk to King

1409
01:36:01,300 --> 01:36:05,600
Leonidas they say, we're going
to ravage your land.

1410
01:36:05,600 --> 01:36:09,800
We're going to to, you know, set
fire to your crop.

1411
01:36:10,000 --> 01:36:12,500
Number down your cities and
we're going to subjugate your

1412
01:36:12,500 --> 01:36:16,000
women and Leonidas goes.
You don't clearly don't know our

1413
01:36:16,000 --> 01:36:19,900
women, right?
And, and as I've talked with

1414
01:36:19,900 --> 01:36:23,800
with everybody here, that's
definitely the sense is that

1415
01:36:23,800 --> 01:36:27,000
when I get that stereotype
thrown at me, which happens

1416
01:36:27,000 --> 01:36:29,700
quite frequently, because of the
podcast, right?

1417
01:36:29,700 --> 01:36:33,500
I'm like, clearly, you've never
met any of these women that

1418
01:36:33,500 --> 01:36:38,100
these are not timid people.
These are, these are strong

1419
01:36:38,100 --> 01:36:40,500
independent people.
So, Thanks for that.

1420
01:36:40,800 --> 01:36:43,900
I think the question too, is
just, there's this idea that

1421
01:36:43,900 --> 01:36:46,200
we're brainwashed and that
stupid at cetera.

1422
01:36:46,500 --> 01:36:50,700
And when they confronted with
that idea, I really like the

1423
01:36:50,700 --> 01:36:54,100
thing that I fight against the
most is myself and saying

1424
01:36:54,100 --> 01:36:56,200
something along the lines of oh
yeah.

1425
01:36:56,200 --> 01:37:03,400
Well fight me and so that's what
I fight against is my own

1426
01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:07,800
commentary.
That's awesome.

1427
01:37:09,800 --> 01:37:15,100
Alright, um, the other
misconception I think is out

1428
01:37:15,100 --> 01:37:19,500
there and I don't know if it's a
misconception and and I really

1429
01:37:19,500 --> 01:37:22,700
want to get everybody's opinion
here on this.

1430
01:37:22,700 --> 01:37:29,900
Is that as Women and
fundamentalism misogyny, has

1431
01:37:29,900 --> 01:37:32,500
just run amok.
Right.

1432
01:37:32,500 --> 01:37:35,900
That every every guy in
fundamentalist is a misogynist

1433
01:37:35,900 --> 01:37:42,100
or he's overbearing or whatever
has that been your case, have

1434
01:37:42,100 --> 01:37:44,400
you found that as you've
socialized with other

1435
01:37:44,400 --> 01:37:48,400
fundamentalists or whatever that
there's more misogyny there than

1436
01:37:48,400 --> 01:37:53,900
say anywhere else?
Is it a problem that's

1437
01:37:53,900 --> 01:37:56,600
exacerbated within
fundamentalism, how's that?

1438
01:38:00,300 --> 01:38:04,700
Well, let me jump in real quick
so I find it.

1439
01:38:04,700 --> 01:38:10,200
It's I find that it's Depends on
who you're talking to what

1440
01:38:10,200 --> 01:38:14,200
group, you know.
And so, you know, I think

1441
01:38:14,200 --> 01:38:19,300
there's people out there that
mean well in their mind and

1442
01:38:19,300 --> 01:38:25,200
they're trying to help women
have more rights and to be able

1443
01:38:25,200 --> 01:38:28,400
to express themselves and they
start saying that, you know,

1444
01:38:28,400 --> 01:38:31,900
we've been marginalized,
especially those of us who are

1445
01:38:31,900 --> 01:38:36,200
in alternate, Lifestyles meaning
not one man, and one woman.

1446
01:38:36,600 --> 01:38:44,900
And I, I mean, I haven't ran
into a lot of it directed like

1447
01:38:44,900 --> 01:38:50,400
at me personally, but I think
that overall in the past there

1448
01:38:50,400 --> 01:38:57,000
have been some people in
fundamentalism where the women

1449
01:38:57,000 --> 01:39:01,200
have had prejudice against them
but if you look at it

1450
01:39:01,200 --> 01:39:05,100
historically and I know that you
like history stuff and so if you

1451
01:39:05,100 --> 01:39:09,400
look at it historically, you
know, has it changed in the last

1452
01:39:09,400 --> 01:39:12,500
few years, I think.
It has in my opinion I think

1453
01:39:12,500 --> 01:39:17,000
it's gotten better but
historically you know go back to

1454
01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:19,400
Brigham Young's time we were
just talking about him.

1455
01:39:19,700 --> 01:39:24,200
Historically women in the world
were treated in one way, but yet

1456
01:39:24,200 --> 01:39:29,800
the women that were in Utah were
had more rights, they were more

1457
01:39:29,800 --> 01:39:32,900
educated.
They had more responsibilities

1458
01:39:32,900 --> 01:39:37,100
within the community and they
weren't looked down upon as

1459
01:39:37,100 --> 01:39:43,700
women were back East or even in
the south And I think over time

1460
01:39:43,700 --> 01:39:48,400
some of these perceptions have
changed towards women and have

1461
01:39:48,400 --> 01:39:53,700
improved, but I also think that
even current day and, you know,

1462
01:39:53,700 --> 01:39:59,400
I hate to bring it up, you know,
more spotlighting for the

1463
01:39:59,400 --> 01:40:02,500
Browns.
But, but they, you know, there's

1464
01:40:02,500 --> 01:40:05,400
a lot of talk out there about
what's happening to their family

1465
01:40:05,800 --> 01:40:09,900
and I mean, I think it's a very
sad situation for everyone in

1466
01:40:09,900 --> 01:40:12,500
that family.
IE what they're going through.

1467
01:40:13,100 --> 01:40:17,500
But a lot of people in our world
today that are not

1468
01:40:17,500 --> 01:40:21,600
fundamentalist or even Mormon
have put a lot of prejudices

1469
01:40:21,600 --> 01:40:26,900
against the women and you know
we us women individually we

1470
01:40:26,900 --> 01:40:30,700
choose what we can put up with
or what we can't put up with you

1471
01:40:30,700 --> 01:40:33,800
know, my daughter, my own
daughter.

1472
01:40:33,800 --> 01:40:38,400
I've raised several children but
I only was able to birth one and

1473
01:40:38,400 --> 01:40:43,300
she has told me off.
Didn't, you know, Mom, I think,

1474
01:40:43,300 --> 01:40:47,300
Dad abused.
You and me and the kids and I

1475
01:40:47,300 --> 01:40:49,700
don't think that was a good
situation and I'm really glad

1476
01:40:49,700 --> 01:40:55,500
that you left him.
And I struggle though that

1477
01:40:55,500 --> 01:41:00,300
you've went into fundamentalism,
because traditionally there has

1478
01:41:00,300 --> 01:41:04,700
been a lot of abuse brought out
and pointed out in society with

1479
01:41:04,700 --> 01:41:09,800
that.
Can you fast-forward 20 years

1480
01:41:09,800 --> 01:41:13,200
later?
And the same daughter says, you

1481
01:41:13,200 --> 01:41:17,700
know Mom the people that I've
seen that you're around and

1482
01:41:17,700 --> 01:41:21,500
fundamentalism don't seem to
have the same prejudices against

1483
01:41:21,500 --> 01:41:26,500
women and that You know, I
really think that women have a

1484
01:41:26,500 --> 01:41:32,700
voice and can accomplish great
things in your circles and I

1485
01:41:32,700 --> 01:41:35,600
feel bad that you get such bad
press.

1486
01:41:35,800 --> 01:41:38,700
And so I like I said, I think it
depends on where it's coming

1487
01:41:38,700 --> 01:41:44,100
from, but I do think that there
are some men in traditional

1488
01:41:44,100 --> 01:41:48,900
typical society and I, yeah, I
had a little toe and, you know,

1489
01:41:49,300 --> 01:41:53,500
inflection there but I think
there are some that still do

1490
01:41:53,500 --> 01:41:55,600
have a lot of prejudice.
Against women, I think that

1491
01:41:55,600 --> 01:41:59,100
there's other women that have
prejudice against women and it's

1492
01:41:59,100 --> 01:42:02,400
something that we all have to
kind of overcome.

1493
01:42:02,800 --> 01:42:07,400
And I think that some groups of
women, you know, are probably

1494
01:42:07,400 --> 01:42:12,500
more marginalized and oppressed
and have more prejudiced against

1495
01:42:12,500 --> 01:42:16,500
them than other women do.
But overall, I think that

1496
01:42:16,800 --> 01:42:21,700
society as a whole as come a lot
farther and that we're able to

1497
01:42:21,700 --> 01:42:26,600
stand up and say, no, we have a
voice and we can do Seems to be

1498
01:42:27,800 --> 01:42:29,300
true.
So did you want to touch on that

1499
01:42:29,300 --> 01:42:32,000
at all?
Oh yeah.

1500
01:42:32,000 --> 01:42:37,700
I mean I guess my biggest thing
is let's see how to put this in

1501
01:42:37,700 --> 01:42:44,300
words.
So, as a group, you know, we

1502
01:42:44,300 --> 01:42:47,500
have different segments out
their fundamentalist segments

1503
01:42:47,500 --> 01:42:49,000
out there.
Obviously, there's Independence

1504
01:42:49,000 --> 01:42:54,600
in their segments, but team
seems to be that they function.

1505
01:42:54,900 --> 01:42:58,400
The stereotypes are functioned.
We're all one group and

1506
01:42:58,400 --> 01:43:03,700
dependence Christchurch AUB.
We're all one group.

1507
01:43:04,000 --> 01:43:05,900
We're all just the
fundamentalist group, that's the

1508
01:43:05,900 --> 01:43:09,100
perception of the world for say,
you know.

1509
01:43:09,400 --> 01:43:16,600
But we're not, you know, and
kind of like to me it's like you

1510
01:43:16,600 --> 01:43:21,100
know giving the entire Catholic
Church, a bad rap because of

1511
01:43:21,100 --> 01:43:25,900
something of free stood You
know, are there men out there

1512
01:43:25,900 --> 01:43:27,800
who do things that they're not
supposed to do?

1513
01:43:27,900 --> 01:43:29,600
Absolutely.
Are there women out there who

1514
01:43:29,600 --> 01:43:31,100
did things we're not supposed to
do?

1515
01:43:31,400 --> 01:43:33,600
Absolutely.
But these are individual people.

1516
01:43:34,500 --> 01:43:36,900
There's individual people and
that's what I feel like the

1517
01:43:36,900 --> 01:43:40,900
world needs to look at is the
people as an individual and not

1518
01:43:40,900 --> 01:43:43,100
as a group of, this is what they
believe in.

1519
01:43:43,100 --> 01:43:45,200
So this makes them this type of
a person.

1520
01:43:46,200 --> 01:43:47,900
Okay.
No, I've not make sense.

1521
01:43:47,900 --> 01:43:50,000
That's well put.
Yep.

1522
01:43:51,700 --> 01:43:52,900
Andrea.
How about you?

1523
01:43:52,900 --> 01:43:58,000
How do you find that in the
circles you've been in whether

1524
01:43:58,000 --> 01:44:01,100
the AUB or as an Indian as an
independent?

1525
01:44:01,100 --> 01:44:05,900
Excuse me, you've been forced to
contend with more misogyny than

1526
01:44:05,900 --> 01:44:12,400
like if you were just in the LDS
church or or work or whatever.

1527
01:44:13,900 --> 01:44:20,900
No, I like I just Just feel
like, actually fundamentalist

1528
01:44:20,900 --> 01:44:31,600
women have. so much more voice
than what, people give them

1529
01:44:31,600 --> 01:44:37,800
credit for, and I think misogyny
is everywhere.

1530
01:44:38,500 --> 01:44:44,500
I don't think it's just a group
or it's out there in the world,

1531
01:44:44,500 --> 01:44:50,700
you know?
But and like Yeah, I don't

1532
01:44:50,700 --> 01:44:55,400
really like to bring it up the
Browns but I feel like that

1533
01:44:55,400 --> 01:44:57,800
there's some issues there, you
know?

1534
01:44:58,500 --> 01:45:00,800
But I don't think that's
typical.

1535
01:45:01,900 --> 01:45:09,100
I think that's very, it's not
it's not typical for most

1536
01:45:09,100 --> 01:45:15,500
Fundamentalist. anywhere that
the at least not in the crowds

1537
01:45:15,500 --> 01:45:22,200
that I've seen and the circles
I've been in, I've, I definitely

1538
01:45:22,200 --> 01:45:27,900
feel like women are revered that
there's a lot that women have to

1539
01:45:27,900 --> 01:45:36,100
say and often what we say is
just as important as anyone

1540
01:45:36,100 --> 01:45:44,100
else, you know, it's it's not
It's not less than because we're

1541
01:45:44,100 --> 01:45:47,000
women.
Right.

1542
01:45:47,200 --> 01:45:50,200
No, that's awesome.
Thanks for sharing that.

1543
01:45:51,100 --> 01:45:54,300
Um Melissa.
Charlotte you guys want to take

1544
01:45:54,300 --> 01:46:01,500
a stab at that too?
You know, one of the nice things

1545
01:46:01,500 --> 01:46:04,700
about being independent as I'm
only accountable to my husband

1546
01:46:04,700 --> 01:46:13,000
and God and there's no layer in
there, trying to put me in a

1547
01:46:13,008 --> 01:46:17,700
box.
I also think about the fact that

1548
01:46:17,900 --> 01:46:20,200
we live in a culture right now
that everybody wants to be the

1549
01:46:20,208 --> 01:46:22,100
victim.
Hmm.

1550
01:46:22,700 --> 01:46:25,100
And you can only be a victim if
you're willing to participate

1551
01:46:25,100 --> 01:46:30,400
and being victim. so I ran into
this when I was married, my

1552
01:46:30,400 --> 01:46:33,900
first husband that people like,
oh, you're a victim of all this

1553
01:46:35,300 --> 01:46:38,100
Abuse etc.
Etc and I realized at one point

1554
01:46:38,100 --> 01:46:40,700
wait I get up every day.
I got up every day.

1555
01:46:40,700 --> 01:46:45,700
I volunteered for that.
Okay, I could have not done that

1556
01:46:45,700 --> 01:46:50,500
and and that's in varying
degrees from my own behaviors.

1557
01:46:50,900 --> 01:46:54,300
The behaviors from him that I
would accept to the point of

1558
01:46:54,300 --> 01:46:58,200
walking out the door like
there's a lot of wide range of

1559
01:46:58,200 --> 01:47:00,000
what we're willing to put up
with.

1560
01:47:00,700 --> 01:47:06,700
And I don't I mean if someone is
truly in A victimized situation.

1561
01:47:06,700 --> 01:47:10,400
As far as they're being abused,
you always still have a choice

1562
01:47:10,400 --> 01:47:15,300
to leave. and you always still
have a choice to not play the

1563
01:47:15,300 --> 01:47:20,500
game and so, I don't know.
I just I really don't like that.

1564
01:47:20,500 --> 01:47:23,900
We're in this Society of I want
to play the victim card.

1565
01:47:24,400 --> 01:47:32,200
No, I agree with you.
So I experienced I haven't I

1566
01:47:32,200 --> 01:47:36,800
haven't seen any more misogyny
and fundamentalism than in you

1567
01:47:36,800 --> 01:47:39,800
know, the LDS world, I grew up
in at all.

1568
01:47:40,000 --> 01:47:44,900
In fact when I've read like
talks from early Mormonism, I

1569
01:47:44,900 --> 01:47:47,800
found quite the opposite.
It least in the talks although I

1570
01:47:47,900 --> 01:47:51,900
wasn't part of the culture but
when I when I learned that, Utah

1571
01:47:51,900 --> 01:47:54,700
was the first state in which
women voted.

1572
01:47:54,700 --> 01:47:58,600
I wasn't surprised by that
because I I had learned about

1573
01:47:58,600 --> 01:48:02,600
women being encouraged to go to
medical school and things like

1574
01:48:02,600 --> 01:48:06,100
that, under the care of the
early leaders in Utah.

1575
01:48:06,100 --> 01:48:09,500
So, I haven't seen that
historically.

1576
01:48:09,500 --> 01:48:13,300
And I haven't experienced any of
it either, but to be fair, I

1577
01:48:13,300 --> 01:48:16,700
didn't really experience tons of
misogyny before I was a

1578
01:48:16,700 --> 01:48:20,800
fundamentalist, either.
In fact, I think I'm the, I'm

1579
01:48:20,800 --> 01:48:23,300
the recipient of, you know, the
women who came before me and

1580
01:48:23,300 --> 01:48:26,900
fought against that kind of
thing because I should just

1581
01:48:27,000 --> 01:48:31,300
Grateful to them, but I was in,
I was interested in things that

1582
01:48:31,300 --> 01:48:34,400
tended to be dominated by males
a lot.

1583
01:48:34,500 --> 01:48:38,500
So like my degrees are in
mathematics, I played the

1584
01:48:38,500 --> 01:48:42,000
trumpet in the band, so I was
usually the only girl and in the

1585
01:48:42,000 --> 01:48:45,700
section and stuff and it never
it never really mattered.

1586
01:48:45,700 --> 01:48:49,500
It was like, if I was good at
it, I was good at it.

1587
01:48:49,500 --> 01:48:51,600
It didn't, it didn't matter that
I was a girl.

1588
01:48:52,100 --> 01:48:56,200
And my experience in
fundamentalism is that men tend

1589
01:48:56,200 --> 01:49:01,300
to really care.
Wish their women and and treat

1590
01:49:01,300 --> 01:49:04,400
them with with even more care
and love.

1591
01:49:04,400 --> 01:49:08,900
I mean, I've heard stories to
the exception, but the men that

1592
01:49:08,900 --> 01:49:15,300
I know our neighbors and and
friends, they all really take

1593
01:49:15,300 --> 01:49:19,400
care of their wives.
And actually, I would say it's

1594
01:49:19,400 --> 01:49:24,900
become the opposite problem
where men aren't treated that

1595
01:49:24,900 --> 01:49:26,900
well and I don't know what the
history of that is.

1596
01:49:27,000 --> 01:49:33,300
But I have witnessed women
disrespecting their men speaking

1597
01:49:33,300 --> 01:49:39,200
badly against men hating the
things that men have as

1598
01:49:39,200 --> 01:49:41,400
strengths.
I've seen that way more than

1599
01:49:41,400 --> 01:49:44,700
I've seen that.
I've seen misogyny and and that

1600
01:49:44,700 --> 01:49:49,400
makes me sad because we have
four boys and we're going to,

1601
01:49:49,400 --> 01:49:52,600
we're raising them in a world
that does not value this.

1602
01:49:52,600 --> 01:49:55,800
The strengths that men bring to
the table in that, that's

1603
01:49:55,800 --> 01:49:59,600
unfortunate.
But just two in one word no I

1604
01:49:59,600 --> 01:50:01,600
haven't.
This experience more misogyny,

1605
01:50:02,300 --> 01:50:06,400
that's awesome.
You know I think I think when we

1606
01:50:06,400 --> 01:50:11,800
deal with stuff like misogyny or
things like that, I think we

1607
01:50:11,800 --> 01:50:16,600
have to look at it as a people
problem and not a group specific

1608
01:50:16,600 --> 01:50:19,200
problem, right?
There's some people who are

1609
01:50:19,200 --> 01:50:23,400
fantastic and then there's some
that just flat-out suck, right?

1610
01:50:23,500 --> 01:50:27,400
And and you, you're going to
encounter them You're an

1611
01:50:27,400 --> 01:50:31,000
independent, whether you're in a
group, whether you're in the LDS

1612
01:50:31,000 --> 01:50:34,500
church whether you are a
fundamentalist, it's just what

1613
01:50:34,500 --> 01:50:37,300
it is.
And I don't think there's

1614
01:50:38,000 --> 01:50:41,700
there's any way of getting
around that it just kind of is

1615
01:50:43,000 --> 01:50:45,900
and and I agree with Charlotte
as well, there doesn't seem to

1616
01:50:45,900 --> 01:50:47,800
be a lot of it floating around
in history.

1617
01:50:47,900 --> 01:50:49,900
Now are there isolated
instances?

1618
01:50:50,000 --> 01:50:54,800
Oh I'm sure I'm sure because
some people just suck right.

1619
01:50:54,800 --> 01:50:58,500
But if Like my favorite is
Martha.

1620
01:50:58,500 --> 01:51:02,100
Hughes Cannon.
Have you heard her story Martha

1621
01:51:02,100 --> 01:51:07,700
Hughes Cannon is married to a 70
Apostle in the early days of

1622
01:51:07,700 --> 01:51:13,300
Utah and she decides she wants
to run for elected office and

1623
01:51:13,300 --> 01:51:17,000
she wins but she beats her own
husband to do it.

1624
01:51:17,800 --> 01:51:21,700
She ran against her husband.
And, and so I'm like, that's

1625
01:51:21,700 --> 01:51:24,400
pretty bold, especially for the
1800's, right?

1626
01:51:24,400 --> 01:51:26,800
I mean, that I can't imagine
that happening.

1627
01:51:26,900 --> 01:51:31,900
In Boston, or New York, or
Philadelphia, or take any of

1628
01:51:31,900 --> 01:51:36,400
those major metropolitan areas
and Brigham did, send make sure

1629
01:51:36,400 --> 01:51:38,900
that a lot of women have the
opportunity to go back east and

1630
01:51:38,900 --> 01:51:43,100
be become educated.
And I think that that's

1631
01:51:43,100 --> 01:51:44,700
something that doesn't get
enough run.

1632
01:51:44,700 --> 01:51:49,100
Either from our history.
Did anyone else want to add

1633
01:51:49,100 --> 01:51:50,800
anything to that before I move
on?

1634
01:51:51,700 --> 01:51:54,300
I thought I saw Melissa kind of
perk up there for a second.

1635
01:51:54,800 --> 01:52:00,200
Yeah.
Just I see I mean if you look to

1636
01:52:00,200 --> 01:52:04,400
dovetail with Charlotte, if you
look at any Facebook you know

1637
01:52:05,400 --> 01:52:09,400
bead you're going to see a lot
of male hatred and a lot of it

1638
01:52:09,400 --> 01:52:17,200
is from wives, there's a lot of
the little moments and I don't

1639
01:52:17,200 --> 01:52:19,100
know, I'm free.
I am frustrated to, I have two

1640
01:52:19,100 --> 01:52:25,200
grown sons that are, you know,
tall, white men, and so they run

1641
01:52:25,200 --> 01:52:33,100
into quite a bit of Society for
treatment true?

1642
01:52:34,200 --> 01:52:35,600
Yeah.
No, definitely.

1643
01:52:35,800 --> 01:52:37,800
I can.
Yeah, I get that.

1644
01:52:37,800 --> 01:52:40,600
Absolutely.
All right.

1645
01:52:41,500 --> 01:52:44,800
So for this next question, the
LDS church right now is facing

1646
01:52:44,800 --> 01:52:49,100
some pretty important questions
concerning the role of women in

1647
01:52:49,100 --> 01:52:52,000
the church.
Now the two topics that come to

1648
01:52:52,000 --> 01:52:58,400
mind immediately are women
officiating or to some degree

1649
01:52:58,400 --> 01:53:02,600
even holding the priesthood.
And the second is a space for

1650
01:53:02,600 --> 01:53:05,700
heavenly mother and I think I
want to start there.

1651
01:53:06,200 --> 01:53:11,100
Because as you look at what was
just said, I believe.

1652
01:53:11,400 --> 01:53:13,600
Was this last General Conference
but don't quote me.

1653
01:53:13,600 --> 01:53:16,600
It might be one later.
There was an apostle that came

1654
01:53:16,600 --> 01:53:21,200
out who said you know we know
that there's a heavenly mother

1655
01:53:21,200 --> 01:53:23,000
but we just don't know enough
about her.

1656
01:53:23,000 --> 01:53:29,900
So we're best not to talk about
within fundamentalism.

1657
01:53:30,800 --> 01:53:34,900
Do you guys feel like that that
you have some answers are about

1658
01:53:34,900 --> 01:53:41,400
heavenly mother that Maybe LDS
folks aren't blessed with.

1659
01:53:45,800 --> 01:53:50,600
Anybody.
I remember when I first learned

1660
01:53:50,800 --> 01:53:54,600
that I'm God Doctrine, it was
like years before I left the

1661
01:53:54,600 --> 01:53:59,700
church and it was an idea that I
liked especially that think

1662
01:53:59,700 --> 01:54:04,700
about Eve.
And I remember when I gave birth

1663
01:54:04,700 --> 01:54:07,800
the second time feeling like
somehow she was like,

1664
01:54:07,800 --> 01:54:12,300
spiritually there with me, maybe
this is something.

1665
01:54:12,300 --> 01:54:15,800
I shouldn't share too much, but
I do remember having a good

1666
01:54:15,800 --> 01:54:21,300
experience with that idea.
My own beliefs have evolved

1667
01:54:21,300 --> 01:54:28,700
since then and I'm not so sure
that I espoused that but but it

1668
01:54:28,700 --> 01:54:31,100
was, it was nice but I believe
it.

1669
01:54:31,100 --> 01:54:32,900
How about that?
Okay.

1670
01:54:33,200 --> 01:54:36,400
All right, good.
Anybody else Andrea?

1671
01:54:36,400 --> 01:54:38,200
I saw you pop up there for a
second.

1672
01:54:38,800 --> 01:54:46,700
Yeah, I'm here.
I believe there has always been

1673
01:54:46,700 --> 01:54:49,800
a and can you hear me?
Because I'm not sure.

1674
01:54:49,900 --> 01:54:53,900
Yeah, I can't hear ya.
Yeah, I've had really spotty

1675
01:54:53,900 --> 01:54:55,900
internet.
You're so you're coming through.

1676
01:54:55,900 --> 01:54:57,700
Great.
Okay.

1677
01:54:58,200 --> 01:55:12,500
So there's always been an equal.
How do I put this when we talked

1678
01:55:12,500 --> 01:55:16,300
priest stood?
There is equal.

1679
01:55:17,600 --> 01:55:22,500
Priest.
Stood between Male and female.

1680
01:55:23,400 --> 01:55:29,700
And I mean, we are together a
whole and we're taught, you

1681
01:55:29,700 --> 01:55:35,400
know, we're taught that God is
not alone.

1682
01:55:36,600 --> 01:55:41,900
I've always felt like it was God
in his wives and of course

1683
01:55:41,900 --> 01:55:47,100
within the temple, we have the
officiator 's, which are women.

1684
01:55:48,000 --> 01:55:54,000
And for the women, I mean a man
can't do that for a woman.

1685
01:55:54,900 --> 01:56:01,500
He can't that is specifically
okay, let me maybe I'll say it

1686
01:56:01,500 --> 01:56:06,400
this way.
If there was a need for it

1687
01:56:07,200 --> 01:56:09,400
because there was no one else
maybe.

1688
01:56:10,100 --> 01:56:16,200
But if you have the women who
can do that, they, they are the

1689
01:56:16,208 --> 01:56:23,000
ones who are supposed to do
those things. and, I think

1690
01:56:23,000 --> 01:56:30,300
there's always been.
We talk about Kings and Priests

1691
01:56:30,400 --> 01:56:36,600
queens and priestesses.
It's It's all important, and

1692
01:56:36,600 --> 01:56:39,700
it's all part of godhood.
It's all part of.

1693
01:56:40,400 --> 01:56:44,200
You can't have one without the
other Right?

1694
01:56:44,200 --> 01:56:51,000
So we have a heavenly mother, we
have a Heavenly Father we have

1695
01:56:53,900 --> 01:57:01,900
we have the women have just as
much ability to move forward as

1696
01:57:01,900 --> 01:57:06,700
the men and not to said say that
they should do it by themselves.

1697
01:57:06,700 --> 01:57:13,900
They should do that together
with their husbands but Women.

1698
01:57:15,100 --> 01:57:17,700
I mean why do we have women
anyway?

1699
01:57:17,900 --> 01:57:22,900
You know, it were all part of
male and female.

1700
01:57:23,700 --> 01:57:35,100
We have to have both of those in
order to have us. and, so, I

1701
01:57:35,100 --> 01:57:42,700
definitely feel like, a woman's
role within the priesthood is

1702
01:57:42,700 --> 01:57:49,200
very extremely important and
some of the most important

1703
01:57:49,200 --> 01:57:54,600
blessings I've ever ever had
were at the hands of women and

1704
01:57:58,500 --> 01:58:10,000
so I I definitely I definitely
feel that that We have a very

1705
01:58:10,000 --> 01:58:18,300
important part within, within
the gospel with in godhood as it

1706
01:58:18,300 --> 01:58:21,700
were.
So there were, there were

1707
01:58:21,700 --> 01:58:24,800
accounts that I had read a
things called White binding

1708
01:58:24,800 --> 01:58:27,600
blessings.
If I'm not mistaken from like

1709
01:58:27,700 --> 01:58:31,300
right before a woman was to give
birth that were, it was done by

1710
01:58:31,300 --> 01:58:32,700
relief societies.
Is it?

1711
01:58:32,800 --> 01:58:36,300
Is that correct?
A mother's blessing?

1712
01:58:36,400 --> 01:58:38,600
Yeah, okay, yeah, sorry.
Yeah.

1713
01:58:38,600 --> 01:58:44,000
Sorry I was just reading, you
know, in places and I I'm just

1714
01:58:44,000 --> 01:58:46,200
getting back to action of
useless information.

1715
01:58:46,500 --> 01:58:48,600
You know, as far as that goes, I
do well on Jeopardy.

1716
01:58:48,600 --> 01:58:51,500
But nowhere else does it apply
so I'll read something and then

1717
01:58:51,500 --> 01:58:55,000
kind of forget about it but can
you explain what that is?

1718
01:58:56,200 --> 01:59:02,300
a mother's blessing is prior to
giving birth and it is done at a

1719
01:59:02,300 --> 01:59:11,100
half at the hands of women and
It's a very special blessing for

1720
01:59:11,100 --> 01:59:19,200
their birth of, for their time
while they are in in their

1721
01:59:19,200 --> 01:59:29,000
pregnant State and yeah, it's a,
it's a very.

1722
01:59:30,000 --> 01:59:38,300
So I will, I will maybe share a
little with you now, when I

1723
01:59:38,300 --> 01:59:43,500
received one of those with my
first when I was first pregnant

1724
01:59:43,500 --> 01:59:57,500
and this was within you be The
first time this happened, I had

1725
01:59:57,500 --> 02:00:02,000
to be told about it by someone
else. and when I was told about

1726
02:00:02,000 --> 02:00:08,100
it, I sought it out and I went
to a couple of well, one

1727
02:00:08,100 --> 02:00:17,600
specific woman and we talked to
her about it and she She agreed

1728
02:00:17,800 --> 02:00:21,400
to give me that blessing and my
husband asked.

1729
02:00:21,400 --> 02:00:23,800
Do I need to be there?
Do I need to seal something?

1730
02:00:23,800 --> 02:00:27,400
Do I need to do this or that?
She said some men feel like they

1731
02:00:27,400 --> 02:00:32,300
have to but it's not necessary.
So, in other words this is

1732
02:00:32,300 --> 02:00:40,100
totally under Let's say the
priesthood of a woman that she's

1733
02:00:40,100 --> 02:00:45,100
able to give this blessing.
And one of the things that I had

1734
02:00:45,100 --> 02:00:50,900
was my whole, my hips were
completely out of place.

1735
02:00:51,000 --> 02:00:57,500
And, you know, I was worried
about it and I mentioned it to

1736
02:00:57,500 --> 02:01:01,700
her and it was something that
she added to at the end.

1737
02:01:03,100 --> 02:01:08,100
And I literally during that
blessing felt my hips going to

1738
02:01:08,100 --> 02:01:11,900
place.
And then afterwards, after

1739
02:01:11,900 --> 02:01:15,900
everything was done, I went
home.

1740
02:01:15,900 --> 02:01:21,100
My husband took me home.
And I went to bed and I had

1741
02:01:21,600 --> 02:01:25,500
probably the most healing sleep
I had ever had in my life.

1742
02:01:26,100 --> 02:01:29,200
Wow.
And so.

1743
02:01:30,600 --> 02:01:34,600
It's, you know, it's something,
it is something and it's

1744
02:01:34,600 --> 02:01:42,500
something that's important.
And, you know, II just two,

1745
02:01:42,500 --> 02:01:51,400
didn't diminish, the priesthood
of women and They can't have it

1746
02:01:51,400 --> 02:01:56,300
without the man, and a man can't
have certain things without the

1747
02:01:56,300 --> 02:02:00,800
women.
It's delegated to them until

1748
02:02:00,800 --> 02:02:04,100
they're certain things done at
the hands of women.

1749
02:02:04,400 --> 02:02:11,900
Women are the key to that
marriage, any man who says

1750
02:02:11,900 --> 02:02:18,700
otherwise is wrong.
Any woman who says, otherwise is

1751
02:02:18,700 --> 02:02:22,600
wrong.
Thanks for sharing that Andrew.

1752
02:02:22,600 --> 02:02:27,600
That was awesome.
And I'm going to throw you right

1753
02:02:27,600 --> 02:02:32,300
on the spot right here and then
I want to after an and treesa,

1754
02:02:32,600 --> 02:02:35,800
just check in with Melissa to
see if she had anything to

1755
02:02:35,800 --> 02:02:40,700
offer.
We're I didn't cut you off.

1756
02:02:40,700 --> 02:02:42,400
Did I Andrea?
Did you have any more you want

1757
02:02:42,400 --> 02:02:44,600
to add?
Go for it.

1758
02:02:47,200 --> 02:02:52,200
So, and I remember this was
about a year before I headed out

1759
02:02:52,200 --> 02:02:56,900
of the LDS church and I happen
to be Listening to Lindsay

1760
02:02:56,900 --> 02:03:01,100
Hansen, Sparks year of polygamy
podcast.

1761
02:03:01,400 --> 02:03:04,400
And if I'm not mistaken and you
can correct me if I'm wrong, but

1762
02:03:04,400 --> 02:03:08,100
I think it was you and Dan on
the episode and there?

1763
02:03:08,400 --> 02:03:11,300
No, no.
Don't send German Schafer in

1764
02:03:11,300 --> 02:03:12,700
myself.
Okay.

1765
02:03:12,700 --> 02:03:15,400
All right.
Sorry, I see there.

1766
02:03:15,400 --> 02:03:18,900
You corrected me.
You were instructed at one time

1767
02:03:18,900 --> 02:03:22,600
to to officiate for Dan when he
was sick.

1768
02:03:22,600 --> 02:03:24,700
Right.
Did I share that on that

1769
02:03:24,700 --> 02:03:28,300
podcast?
Okay, I don't remember that but

1770
02:03:28,300 --> 02:03:31,900
I was going to share it on this
podcast, So Daniel their man

1771
02:03:31,900 --> 02:03:36,800
about it and and we talked about
this so I was just kind of

1772
02:03:37,500 --> 02:03:40,400
mentioned a tree, so that was
going to bring it up to earlier.

1773
02:03:40,900 --> 02:03:46,800
So when we were in Idaho, we had
just started leaving the LDS

1774
02:03:46,800 --> 02:03:52,900
church and had been baptized
into this church and gosh it was

1775
02:03:52,900 --> 02:03:58,700
probably within Three to four
months of being baptized into

1776
02:03:58,700 --> 02:04:02,300
Christ Church.
And so you know I had heard some

1777
02:04:02,300 --> 02:04:04,900
people talking about you know,
mother's blessings.

1778
02:04:04,900 --> 02:04:08,800
I've heard people talk about
that, women can give blessings

1779
02:04:08,800 --> 02:04:12,000
and that women hold, you know, a
part of the priesthood.

1780
02:04:13,400 --> 02:04:18,000
And this isn't something that we
talk a lot about then in church,

1781
02:04:18,000 --> 02:04:22,700
but we have talked about it and
damn, was really sick.

1782
02:04:22,700 --> 02:04:25,300
We were the only members living
in the state of Idaho.

1783
02:04:25,500 --> 02:04:31,300
From Christchurch and he needed
to he needed a blessing and we

1784
02:04:31,300 --> 02:04:34,600
had called to see if that they
somebody could give him a proxy

1785
02:04:34,600 --> 02:04:42,500
blessing and it came back from
the prophet at the time that

1786
02:04:42,500 --> 02:04:45,900
said that, you know, am needs to
give Dan this blessing.

1787
02:04:46,400 --> 02:04:51,300
And so someone called us and
said, you know, and you know, if

1788
02:04:51,300 --> 02:04:54,100
Dan can, he can walk you through
the semantics of it but you need

1789
02:04:54,100 --> 02:04:55,700
to give Dan this blessing.
Saying.

1790
02:04:56,300 --> 02:05:01,100
And so we had a little
discussion about that and with

1791
02:05:01,100 --> 02:05:06,400
this gentleman on the phone, And
then we hung up and damn look.

1792
02:05:06,400 --> 02:05:11,300
Smeagol this is a first and we,
you know, went into our bedroom

1793
02:05:11,700 --> 02:05:18,600
and, you know, he sat with desk
area, office area and part of

1794
02:05:18,600 --> 02:05:22,400
our bedroom and he sat down at
the desk there at the chair.

1795
02:05:22,400 --> 02:05:27,900
And he handed me his oil and he
walked me through anointing him

1796
02:05:28,000 --> 02:05:33,100
and the beginning mechanics of
giving the blessing, you know,

1797
02:05:35,100 --> 02:05:37,300
Because us women don't have an
opportunity to memorize those

1798
02:05:37,300 --> 02:05:38,900
things, right?
The men do.

1799
02:05:40,800 --> 02:05:49,400
And when I laid my hands on his
head, There was a great power

1800
02:05:49,600 --> 02:05:56,600
that I felt surging through my
body and coming out my hands.

1801
02:05:57,500 --> 02:06:04,100
And I remember, I felt that way
a few times in my life sometimes

1802
02:06:04,100 --> 02:06:10,500
in the temple, but You know,
never had given a blessing

1803
02:06:10,500 --> 02:06:14,800
before, you know, I just, I
spoke whatever words came into

1804
02:06:14,800 --> 02:06:20,000
my mind at the time and gave him
a blessing.

1805
02:06:21,300 --> 02:06:24,700
And closed it up.
And I remember, I just, I sat

1806
02:06:24,700 --> 02:06:29,300
down on the floor and, you know,
I released a lot of that emotion

1807
02:06:29,800 --> 02:06:35,200
from it and I said, just this
happened to you every time you

1808
02:06:35,200 --> 02:06:38,500
give a blessing, you know,
because part of me, I'm like

1809
02:06:39,100 --> 02:06:40,700
gosh maybe I shouldn't ask you
for blessings.

1810
02:06:40,700 --> 02:06:43,700
It takes so much energy to give
these things, you know?

1811
02:06:43,700 --> 02:06:48,000
And and part of me I was like,
this is amazing.

1812
02:06:49,700 --> 02:06:53,900
And the next morning Dan woke up
and he was totally fine.

1813
02:06:55,200 --> 02:06:59,200
We were going to take him to the
ER if he wasn't but he was

1814
02:06:59,200 --> 02:07:04,500
completely fine.
And I want to add To something

1815
02:07:04,500 --> 02:07:09,400
that the Andrea has said.
And I know right now, my husband

1816
02:07:09,400 --> 02:07:15,000
Dan and I are the temple present
and matron for, for one of our

1817
02:07:15,000 --> 02:07:19,700
temples in our church.
And, you know, there are several

1818
02:07:20,400 --> 02:07:26,100
women who have been called to be
Veil workers or Temple workers

1819
02:07:26,300 --> 02:07:32,900
in our Temple and like Teresa is
one of them and When we are

1820
02:07:32,900 --> 02:07:36,800
doing initiatory work and I'm
using that term because it's an

1821
02:07:36,800 --> 02:07:42,200
LDS church term fundamental was
typically at least the ones I've

1822
02:07:42,200 --> 02:07:48,100
spoken to call it Washington
anointings but when we're doing

1823
02:07:48,100 --> 02:07:51,700
that work you know we are there
like Android said, it's the

1824
02:07:51,700 --> 02:07:56,000
women giving it to women and
we're giving those blessings

1825
02:07:56,000 --> 02:08:01,000
where we were set apart and
given priesthood authority to

1826
02:08:01,000 --> 02:08:04,000
do.
Do those Washings and anointings

1827
02:08:04,000 --> 02:08:09,000
those are blessings that are put
on a woman at that time that are

1828
02:08:09,000 --> 02:08:11,800
very sacred and I'm not going to
get into the wording of them or

1829
02:08:11,800 --> 02:08:14,800
anything because I hold them as
sacred.

1830
02:08:14,900 --> 02:08:18,900
But for those of you who have
done initiatory work, that might

1831
02:08:18,900 --> 02:08:23,800
be LDS listening or anybody else
that have participated in this,

1832
02:08:24,100 --> 02:08:28,000
you know, there is a part in
there where it says you know,

1833
02:08:28,000 --> 02:08:33,500
that this is being sealed on you
and that comes straight from the

1834
02:08:33,500 --> 02:08:40,700
priesthood itself and in, in
that regard, women are holding

1835
02:08:40,700 --> 02:08:43,600
the priesthood when they are
doing that work and they are

1836
02:08:45,600 --> 02:08:52,500
fulfilling that calm.
For a mountain 11, other words

1837
02:08:52,500 --> 02:08:55,300
to say there.
But so in my mind, I think women

1838
02:08:55,300 --> 02:08:59,900
do hold the priesthood and and
in, you know, I had a ton of

1839
02:08:59,900 --> 02:09:03,000
questions after I gave a damn
that first that blessing that

1840
02:09:03,000 --> 02:09:08,200
time that first time and, you
know, I we in our church and

1841
02:09:08,200 --> 02:09:11,900
Christ Church, we do something
called dedications where we can,

1842
02:09:11,900 --> 02:09:15,200
we dedicate a house and then the
LDS church they do house

1843
02:09:15,200 --> 02:09:18,400
dedications to, but it's not
quite the same thing.

1844
02:09:18,700 --> 02:09:21,100
Great.
And they do.

1845
02:09:21,100 --> 02:09:23,900
Yeah, we do grave dedications
and stuff like that as well.

1846
02:09:23,900 --> 02:09:27,800
But, you know, there was a time
when Dan was traveling, he was

1847
02:09:27,900 --> 02:09:31,000
up in Canada with another young
man and they were doing some

1848
02:09:31,000 --> 02:09:36,600
missionary work in the winter
and I couldn't get ahold of

1849
02:09:36,608 --> 02:09:40,100
anybody else to dedicate.
We, my mom and I were having

1850
02:09:41,100 --> 02:09:47,700
some difficulties and so I
called our prophet and I said,

1851
02:09:47,700 --> 02:09:51,900
you know, can you dedicate and
he goes You know why don't why

1852
02:09:51,900 --> 02:09:57,900
don't you dedicate your house?
And so then I like was like,

1853
02:09:57,900 --> 02:10:00,100
okay where was the Outburst did
down?

1854
02:10:00,100 --> 02:10:02,800
Write that down anywhere?
And I kind of did it for my

1855
02:10:02,800 --> 02:10:08,800
memory and and I dedicated our
home and it was a very unique

1856
02:10:08,800 --> 02:10:12,300
and special experience that I
had with just my mom and I there

1857
02:10:12,600 --> 02:10:16,400
at the time and so women can do
some of these things whether you

1858
02:10:16,400 --> 02:10:22,000
want to, you know, say that.
Oh, it's Prayer of faith or a

1859
02:10:22,000 --> 02:10:25,000
blessing of Faith or you want to
say it really was to the

1860
02:10:25,000 --> 02:10:28,200
priesthood.
All I can do is tell you that.

1861
02:10:28,300 --> 02:10:31,100
I know what I felt when I gave
Dan that first blessing and I

1862
02:10:31,108 --> 02:10:34,600
know what I feel in the temple
when I'm giving women those

1863
02:10:34,600 --> 02:10:37,400
blessings.
And that isn't just saying a

1864
02:10:37,400 --> 02:10:39,700
prayer like I do with my
children or grandchildren at

1865
02:10:39,700 --> 02:10:43,800
home, right?
Teresa was there anything you

1866
02:10:43,800 --> 02:10:47,200
wanted to add some mostly?
What I was going to talk about

1867
02:10:47,200 --> 02:10:51,100
was the temple because I mean I
do support I work in the temple

1868
02:10:51,100 --> 02:10:55,000
and obviously, I was given that
blessing, you know, and it's

1869
02:10:55,000 --> 02:10:59,600
like okay.
And then, but I remember, you

1870
02:10:59,600 --> 02:11:04,200
know, years ago, you know
Learning.

1871
02:11:04,200 --> 02:11:07,500
Hey, you can give your child a
blessing, you know, if your

1872
02:11:07,500 --> 02:11:10,400
child is sick and nobody's
there, you give your child a

1873
02:11:10,407 --> 02:11:13,200
blessing and my baby girl was so
sick.

1874
02:11:13,700 --> 02:11:18,900
And my husband worked away from
home and I put my hands on her.

1875
02:11:19,900 --> 02:11:24,300
And in the Name of Christ, I
gave her the blessing, you know,

1876
02:11:24,300 --> 02:11:28,200
and like she said, whether you
want to call it, Faith, you

1877
02:11:28,200 --> 02:11:32,400
know, or you know, my husband
had the priesthood.

1878
02:11:33,100 --> 02:11:38,200
Or whatever you want to call it.
I even if you're given a

1879
02:11:38,200 --> 02:11:42,000
blessing from a member of the
priesthood, a man in the

1880
02:11:42,000 --> 02:11:47,300
priesthood you have to have
faith for that blessing to come

1881
02:11:47,300 --> 02:11:49,900
about.
If you're given a blessing and

1882
02:11:49,900 --> 02:11:52,500
you're thinking in your mind out
of there's no way this is going

1883
02:11:52,500 --> 02:11:56,000
to work well of course it's not
going to work you know.

1884
02:11:56,000 --> 02:12:00,600
So even with the priesthood you
have to have faith and to me I

1885
02:12:00,600 --> 02:12:02,600
really think a lot of it comes
down to Faith.

1886
02:12:04,400 --> 02:12:08,600
You know.
Okay, so I appreciate that.

1887
02:12:09,300 --> 02:12:17,100
Melissa Oh boy.
Okay, so let's unpack heavenly

1888
02:12:17,100 --> 02:12:23,000
mother and that she's hidden.
I think with good reason I think

1889
02:12:23,100 --> 02:12:28,600
that the first thing you come up
with when you start digging

1890
02:12:28,600 --> 02:12:37,000
around for a female, Deity is
Star, right?

1891
02:12:37,000 --> 02:12:43,300
And I've had some pretty dark
stuff and it's really dark. and,

1892
02:12:44,600 --> 02:12:46,700
I think there is a level of
protection.

1893
02:12:47,100 --> 02:12:54,900
I think they that if you are
actively working in this life to

1894
02:12:54,900 --> 02:12:58,200
prepare to meet God, that that's
not in the singular.

1895
02:13:00,500 --> 02:13:05,200
And Eliza R snow.
We know wrote Oh My Father which

1896
02:13:05,200 --> 02:13:06,900
includes that there's another
there.

1897
02:13:09,300 --> 02:13:14,700
I do think it's a matter of
roles as far as the she's not

1898
02:13:14,700 --> 02:13:18,300
front and center.
And I do think I'm going to kick

1899
02:13:18,300 --> 02:13:20,200
back to this misogyny thing,
right?

1900
02:13:20,200 --> 02:13:25,300
So and I remember growing up in
the church, how mad I was that

1901
02:13:25,300 --> 02:13:28,800
the boys got to do all their
Scout stuff and all this money

1902
02:13:28,800 --> 02:13:32,100
and time and effort was spent on
that.

1903
02:13:35,700 --> 02:13:38,700
And watching that and being
upset about that.

1904
02:13:38,800 --> 02:13:45,700
And then also, I think we have
definitions kind of messed up in

1905
02:13:45,700 --> 02:13:54,700
the church as far as priesthood
is seen as something to Lord

1906
02:13:54,700 --> 02:13:59,500
over others. but if we look at
the Life of Christ, who is the

1907
02:13:59,500 --> 02:14:04,100
great high priest, His life is
nothing but service and

1908
02:14:04,100 --> 02:14:12,600
sacrifice for his fellow men.
And so I think that It's really

1909
02:14:12,600 --> 02:14:18,700
easy, especially within a sec to
kind of have it upside down that

1910
02:14:18,900 --> 02:14:23,200
the men are in charge.
And I know that a lot of abuses

1911
02:14:24,400 --> 02:14:27,200
In families.
And with them churches, have

1912
02:14:27,500 --> 02:14:32,100
come down because there's this
idea of being subject to the

1913
02:14:32,100 --> 02:14:38,200
priesthood.
When really being a priest and a

1914
02:14:38,200 --> 02:14:46,000
king is about service and love
and and leading in that your

1915
02:14:46,000 --> 02:14:51,300
behavior is such that others
would want to emulate and not

1916
02:14:51,700 --> 02:14:55,700
being a leader in the oppression
of others.

1917
02:14:55,700 --> 02:14:59,600
And I think that this kind of
thing has gone on insects for a

1918
02:14:59,600 --> 02:15:05,400
long time and it's not exclusive
to Mormonism. and I think that

1919
02:15:05,400 --> 02:15:12,000
this Kickback, with feminism,
Within the church and the

1920
02:15:12,000 --> 02:15:17,400
demand, for some type of equity
of priesthood is kind of

1921
02:15:17,400 --> 02:15:23,000
misguided.
I believe that. women come with

1922
02:15:23,000 --> 02:15:30,900
the priesthood, but we don't
have the Calling, as it were to.

1923
02:15:32,800 --> 02:15:37,000
Be part of building the kingdom.
Like our role is different in

1924
02:15:37,000 --> 02:15:41,600
building the kingdom in that
we're raising the future.

1925
02:15:42,200 --> 02:15:46,800
We're teaching the children to
be able to perpetuate through

1926
02:15:46,800 --> 02:15:53,200
the generations.
Well, our men are actively quite

1927
02:15:53,200 --> 02:15:58,100
literally building the kingdom.
and so, I understand that

1928
02:15:58,100 --> 02:16:03,800
there's a lot of anger about not
being treated quote, fairly, you

1929
02:16:03,808 --> 02:16:08,300
know, when the young women would
do their one camping trip and

1930
02:16:08,500 --> 02:16:11,300
you know, the young men have
gone all over creation doing

1931
02:16:11,300 --> 02:16:16,500
their thing and and its
Financial to within various sex

1932
02:16:16,500 --> 02:16:21,600
a lot more money historically in
the youth has been put for the

1933
02:16:21,600 --> 02:16:29,200
boys, but I think that You boys
are more likely to leave

1934
02:16:29,200 --> 02:16:33,400
religion.
Boys are more likely to not

1935
02:16:33,700 --> 02:16:35,700
become the men that they need to
be.

1936
02:16:35,700 --> 02:16:40,100
And so I'm not thinking that
it's terrible, that we make a

1937
02:16:40,100 --> 02:16:44,600
larger investment financially
etcetera, in the young men,

1938
02:16:46,100 --> 02:16:49,299
Because women are more faithful
and there are more of us.

1939
02:16:50,400 --> 02:16:53,799
And that's one of the logistical
reasons why the church is in the

1940
02:16:53,799 --> 02:17:00,000
crisis that it's in with three
unmarried women to every two

1941
02:17:00,000 --> 02:17:04,900
unmarried men as far as young
adults, there's a lot of really

1942
02:17:04,900 --> 02:17:06,900
amazing women that are not going
to get married.

1943
02:17:07,799 --> 02:17:14,400
You know, it's to do before to
do for that and maybe make a

1944
02:17:14,400 --> 02:17:17,500
plan for that.
I mean it's true.

1945
02:17:17,500 --> 02:17:20,700
You can't just open up the
scriptures to I don't know,

1946
02:17:21,700 --> 02:17:26,799
something like, I don't know 132
and just too bad.

1947
02:17:26,799 --> 02:17:29,900
There wasn't something that
rhymed with monogamy.

1948
02:17:29,900 --> 02:17:32,600
That can Levy 8 that it's just
horrible II.

1949
02:17:32,600 --> 02:17:41,600
Feel bad.
I went out and got a book, A

1950
02:17:41,608 --> 02:17:46,900
book, treasuries knowledge,
Treasures of knowledge.

1951
02:17:46,900 --> 02:17:51,299
Volume 1.
And there's a couple of

1952
02:17:51,299 --> 02:17:57,100
interesting places in here where
ruin, all red who we view as a

1953
02:17:57,100 --> 02:18:02,000
prophet and start has a UB
fundamentalist group also in

1954
02:18:02,000 --> 02:18:03,700
some of the fundamentals do as
well.

1955
02:18:03,700 --> 02:18:10,000
I believe are the independence
do and so you know, just based

1956
02:18:10,000 --> 02:18:14,500
off these two questions in 1974,
he said brother--and these women

1957
02:18:14,500 --> 02:18:19,000
are your glory, you have the
power of the priesthood but the

1958
02:18:19,000 --> 02:18:26,600
glory of God, is in your
womenfolk and I I love that I

1959
02:18:26,600 --> 02:18:30,100
also will admit that I have used
that to try to get my way once

1960
02:18:30,100 --> 02:18:39,400
or twice but that's a reminder
honey but He's gonna listen to

1961
02:18:39,400 --> 02:18:40,799
this.
I know he is okay.

1962
02:18:41,000 --> 02:18:48,200
And but here on in volume 1
page, 312 there was a question

1963
02:18:48,600 --> 02:18:51,600
that was posed and ruin answered
it.

1964
02:18:51,600 --> 02:18:55,299
And the question is hated
Brigham, Young ever teach that

1965
02:18:55,400 --> 02:18:57,700
you know, Adam had more than one
wife that came down on this

1966
02:18:57,700 --> 02:19:00,799
Earth and he gives quite a long
little speech here.

1967
02:19:00,799 --> 02:19:04,600
But he says that, you know, Adam
did come down to this Earth with

1968
02:19:04,600 --> 02:19:07,400
one of his wives and that he had
others of his brother.

1969
02:19:07,400 --> 02:19:11,299
And, you know, help.
Him come and get, get the world

1970
02:19:11,299 --> 02:19:14,900
ready for business when it came
to Furnishing Tabernacles for

1971
02:19:14,900 --> 02:19:18,000
his Spirit children born in
heaven, he felt himself best

1972
02:19:18,000 --> 02:19:22,900
qualified to do that work and
then he goes on, he talks about

1973
02:19:22,900 --> 02:19:26,500
you know how, you know, Adam
means first man and evenings the

1974
02:19:26,500 --> 02:19:31,500
first women woman, I mean, and
he continues on and down at the

1975
02:19:31,500 --> 02:19:35,400
bottom of that page.
It talks about and it says the

1976
02:19:35,400 --> 02:19:40,299
talmud does name to other wives.
Of adammvb and Lilith.

1977
02:19:40,600 --> 02:19:45,400
And that these are named as for
a wives of Adam and, you know,

1978
02:19:45,400 --> 02:19:49,100
we can go on and we can say,
okay, so we know Adam, Phoebe

1979
02:19:49,200 --> 02:19:55,100
Lilith and then we also in the
Mormon faith and I believe that

1980
02:19:55,100 --> 02:19:57,600
the LDS church is where I heard
this first.

1981
02:19:57,600 --> 02:19:59,100
So you have to correct me if I'm
wrong.

1982
02:19:59,100 --> 02:20:05,100
I'm 20 years out of there but
says or we were taught that

1983
02:20:05,100 --> 02:20:10,500
Mary, the mother of Christ is Is
one of Adam's wives as well.

1984
02:20:10,700 --> 02:20:14,200
And so when people talk about
heavenly mother, I want to say,

1985
02:20:14,200 --> 02:20:16,300
I think that we need to respect
her.

1986
02:20:16,400 --> 02:20:18,000
I think that we need to
reverence her.

1987
02:20:18,400 --> 02:20:24,100
I think that You know, it
doesn't matter which one of the

1988
02:20:24,100 --> 02:20:28,700
wives of his were my heavenly
mother, your heavenly mother, we

1989
02:20:28,700 --> 02:20:32,600
need to reverence that person
and the sacrifices that they

1990
02:20:32,600 --> 02:20:35,100
made to get to the point where
they're at.

1991
02:20:35,400 --> 02:20:39,800
And understand that.
As we have trials in this life,

1992
02:20:39,900 --> 02:20:44,900
they've been through something
similar and, and they deserve

1993
02:20:44,900 --> 02:20:48,200
some respect along that lines.
And so keeping some of these

1994
02:20:48,200 --> 02:20:51,600
things hidden, I can kind of
understand Stand, why there's

1995
02:20:51,600 --> 02:20:53,600
that, you know, sacred and
secret thing.

1996
02:20:53,800 --> 02:20:59,100
But we have four names that I
just listed off and if we can

1997
02:20:59,100 --> 02:21:04,800
study all that, we can about at
least, you know, Eve and Mary.

1998
02:21:05,200 --> 02:21:07,500
We can learn some
characteristics about who are

1999
02:21:07,500 --> 02:21:11,700
heavily mother or mothers are
because while we're all

2000
02:21:11,700 --> 02:21:15,000
individuals, we're all going to
have the same beliefs and we've

2001
02:21:15,000 --> 02:21:20,400
all been through stuff and I
went through a time here not

2002
02:21:20,400 --> 02:21:27,700
that long ago, where Why are
sister wife decided?

2003
02:21:27,700 --> 02:21:30,400
She was going to move away for a
while.

2004
02:21:31,000 --> 02:21:32,700
She's now working on moving back
in.

2005
02:21:34,500 --> 02:21:41,000
And I'm glad for that just for
the record, but when she left it

2006
02:21:41,000 --> 02:21:45,600
was really, it was really hard
on all of us, her, her children,

2007
02:21:47,200 --> 02:21:51,100
you know, our husband myself,
you know, and our community in

2008
02:21:51,100 --> 02:21:56,300
some regards as well, but after
about three months, you know,

2009
02:21:56,300 --> 02:22:01,100
she, she started talking to me
and again, and we were having

2010
02:22:01,100 --> 02:22:03,200
some conversations and I left
one.

2011
02:22:03,300 --> 02:22:06,300
Those conversations.
I was feeling quite perplexed

2012
02:22:06,300 --> 02:22:14,500
and the next weekend.
We had a big event out here and

2013
02:22:14,500 --> 02:22:19,600
I had asked for a blessing and I
said, I said Dan, you know, who

2014
02:22:19,600 --> 02:22:23,600
should give me a blessing and
Dan picked someone from our

2015
02:22:23,600 --> 02:22:26,600
family?
And in that blessing I was told

2016
02:22:26,800 --> 02:22:30,900
your heavenly mother loves you.
She sees what you're going

2017
02:22:30,900 --> 02:22:33,500
through.
She sees what your sister wife

2018
02:22:33,500 --> 02:22:39,300
is going through and I will tell
you it's not easy and that your

2019
02:22:39,300 --> 02:22:42,300
heavenly mother.
Has gone through very similar

2020
02:22:42,300 --> 02:22:47,500
things.
And so I have held onto that for

2021
02:22:47,500 --> 02:22:52,300
many reasons, but it gave me a
great deal of comfort to know

2022
02:22:52,300 --> 02:22:58,400
that my heavenly mother has been
in the same situation.

2023
02:23:00,000 --> 02:23:04,000
And has lived this kind of
lifestyle and had frustrations

2024
02:23:04,000 --> 02:23:10,800
like I'm having and she did it.
So can I It's awesome.

2025
02:23:11,700 --> 02:23:14,600
Thank you for sharing that.
Go ahead Teresa.

2026
02:23:15,000 --> 02:23:19,800
But I miss on the heavenly
mother and I know I missed some

2027
02:23:19,800 --> 02:23:23,300
of what Andrea said, so I don't
know if I'm going to repeat

2028
02:23:23,300 --> 02:23:29,300
anything that she said, but in
regards to the heavenly father,

2029
02:23:29,300 --> 02:23:36,000
I I feel like she's being
protected. 100%.

2030
02:23:36,000 --> 02:23:40,400
I mean and if we think about the
role of a husband, what's the,

2031
02:23:40,500 --> 02:23:43,500
what's the one of the biggest
roles as a husband here on

2032
02:23:43,500 --> 02:23:45,400
Earth?
Or the biggest roles as a

2033
02:23:45,400 --> 02:23:49,200
husband, is to protect his wives
and to protect his family?

2034
02:23:50,500 --> 02:23:56,100
I can imagine if well I could
probably maybe somewhat imagine

2035
02:23:56,100 --> 02:23:58,900
but maybe only because I have a
good imagination.

2036
02:24:00,600 --> 02:24:07,400
You know, if God did open up
about our heavenly mother and if

2037
02:24:07,400 --> 02:24:12,000
people in today's world took her
name in vain like they do his

2038
02:24:12,000 --> 02:24:15,000
name.
I don't think that's going to

2039
02:24:15,008 --> 02:24:18,200
go.
Well, no, you know, I mean that,

2040
02:24:18,500 --> 02:24:20,900
that's just how I feel.
Think I think it's of I really

2041
02:24:20,900 --> 02:24:23,400
think it's a.
It is protection, right?

2042
02:24:23,400 --> 02:24:26,900
And probably not just for her
but you know, it's probably

2043
02:24:26,900 --> 02:24:33,000
protecting us to right.
Shirley did you have anything

2044
02:24:33,000 --> 02:24:34,700
you wanted to add to that?
I thought I saw.

2045
02:24:34,700 --> 02:24:37,000
You kind of perk up there here a
few seconds ago.

2046
02:24:41,500 --> 02:24:43,100
There were a couple things that
came to mind.

2047
02:24:43,100 --> 02:24:51,400
One of them is just that the
Genesis talks about Adam being

2048
02:24:51,400 --> 02:24:55,000
created in the image of God, but
it says something along the

2049
02:24:55,000 --> 02:25:00,900
lines of in the, what does it
say in God's image, he made them

2050
02:25:00,900 --> 02:25:04,400
male and female.
And so there's the strong

2051
02:25:04,400 --> 02:25:07,600
implication there.
Like obviously, you can't, maybe

2052
02:25:07,600 --> 02:25:10,200
it's not that obvious, but if
you think about it you can't

2053
02:25:10,200 --> 02:25:12,000
make a woman in the image of a
man.

2054
02:25:12,100 --> 02:25:15,100
Then she'd be a man.
So for there to be a man and a

2055
02:25:15,100 --> 02:25:16,700
woman created in the image of
God.

2056
02:25:17,000 --> 02:25:19,600
It's better to strong
implication there that there's

2057
02:25:20,500 --> 02:25:26,300
there's a male and a female God
and so that was just one thing.

2058
02:25:26,300 --> 02:25:31,200
That once a awesome I want to
touch on something Theresa said

2059
02:25:31,200 --> 02:25:36,800
just a second ago about you
know, protecting heavenly mother

2060
02:25:36,800 --> 02:25:39,900
and maybe in some ways
protecting us because we take

2061
02:25:39,900 --> 02:25:42,700
our lord's name in vain.
I shouldn't say we here.

2062
02:25:42,700 --> 02:25:49,300
But you know, we as a society as
people And I go back, I go back

2063
02:25:49,300 --> 02:25:52,600
to something that happened to me
as a Young Man where I was, I'll

2064
02:25:52,600 --> 02:25:55,700
never forget this.
I was probably seven years old

2065
02:25:55,800 --> 02:25:58,400
and we were sitting.
We have this kind of like

2066
02:25:58,400 --> 02:26:03,800
breakfast bar in our house and
for life of me, I don't know

2067
02:26:03,800 --> 02:26:07,700
why.
I was was Such a little jerk at

2068
02:26:07,700 --> 02:26:11,000
that moment, but my mom had said
something and my dad was sitting

2069
02:26:11,000 --> 02:26:14,600
right next to me.
And let me paint you the

2070
02:26:14,600 --> 02:26:16,500
picture.
My dad was a good six inches

2071
02:26:16,500 --> 02:26:20,200
taller than I am and outweighed
Me by probably 50 pounds.

2072
02:26:20,200 --> 02:26:24,900
I stand now, he was a big guy.
Wisconsin raised, drinking, raw

2073
02:26:24,900 --> 02:26:28,200
milk eaten beef.
I mean, any was a diesel

2074
02:26:28,200 --> 02:26:31,600
mechanic?
And so, we had these fingers and

2075
02:26:31,600 --> 02:26:34,600
they were huge and I remember I
smart off to my mom and then

2076
02:26:34,600 --> 02:26:41,200
things just went dark And I woke
up and my dad said to me, he

2077
02:26:41,200 --> 02:26:42,900
said something very, very
direct.

2078
02:26:42,900 --> 02:26:46,400
He said she's your mom, but she
was my wife first and

2079
02:26:46,400 --> 02:26:49,600
understand.
Every time you do that, this is

2080
02:26:49,600 --> 02:26:53,000
going to be the result.
And so sometimes I'm like, maybe

2081
02:26:53,000 --> 02:26:55,900
that's a blessing so we don't
have to get the proverbial

2082
02:26:55,900 --> 02:26:59,800
mechanic Knuckles, right?
Across the jaw line, right?

2083
02:27:00,000 --> 02:27:03,800
So that's, that's something I've
thought about it times, so

2084
02:27:04,400 --> 02:27:06,200
Andrea was there anything else
you want to add?

2085
02:27:06,300 --> 02:27:10,300
There.
Now, I've just been enjoying the

2086
02:27:10,400 --> 02:27:13,100
conversation.
That's all I just didn't want to

2087
02:27:13,100 --> 02:27:18,400
be leaving you out.
So, all right, we're nearing the

2088
02:27:18,400 --> 02:27:21,500
end here, I promise.
I appreciate you guys being so

2089
02:27:21,500 --> 02:27:24,400
patient with me here as I've
just asked endless questions.

2090
02:27:25,400 --> 02:27:30,200
I got a question for those who
joined fundamentalism from the

2091
02:27:30,200 --> 02:27:33,600
outside converted to
fundamentalism and then I got

2092
02:27:33,900 --> 02:27:36,400
one last question for Andrea
before we leave.

2093
02:27:37,200 --> 02:27:41,400
So, as you convert it into
fundamentalism, going in,

2094
02:27:41,400 --> 02:27:44,700
knowing that the possibility of
plural marriage was there was

2095
02:27:44,700 --> 02:27:49,000
that something that was hard to
wrestle with, and if so, how did

2096
02:27:49,000 --> 02:27:51,100
you manage to kind of work, past
it?

2097
02:27:51,100 --> 02:27:58,800
If it's not too personal.
Okay.

2098
02:27:59,000 --> 02:28:00,600
Oh, there we go.
Are they going first?

2099
02:28:00,600 --> 02:28:04,600
Who's going first?
Okay, okay, okay.

2100
02:28:04,600 --> 02:28:12,900
So again, interesting, I don't
get me wrong scary to think

2101
02:28:12,900 --> 02:28:21,600
about but I don't.
I looked at individuals that I

2102
02:28:21,600 --> 02:28:27,200
knew that were living it.
And it was beautiful.

2103
02:28:28,500 --> 02:28:32,500
It was beautiful there, their
family was beautiful the way

2104
02:28:32,500 --> 02:28:34,200
they work together was
beautiful.

2105
02:28:34,200 --> 02:28:38,100
The way that all the moms
claimed the babies and the

2106
02:28:38,108 --> 02:28:43,000
children was beautiful and
that's what I wanted to do.

2107
02:28:45,100 --> 02:28:49,000
So, and I know, I mean, and
that's what I saw.

2108
02:28:49,000 --> 02:28:52,900
I mean, obviously I'm sure there
were places out there were maybe

2109
02:28:52,900 --> 02:28:56,900
that wasn't happening, but in
where I saw that what was going

2110
02:28:56,900 --> 02:29:01,500
on and so scary.
Yes.

2111
02:29:01,500 --> 02:29:03,500
Did I want to do it?
Yes.

2112
02:29:04,500 --> 02:29:05,900
And did I do it?
Yes.

2113
02:29:07,800 --> 02:29:10,900
So so was scary.
But you saw good examples, and

2114
02:29:10,900 --> 02:29:14,500
those good examples, kind of
helped, you kind of move past

2115
02:29:14,500 --> 02:29:17,000
the fear a little bitter, at
least help you deal with that.

2116
02:29:17,100 --> 02:29:19,600
Is that a fair assessment?
I don't know if I mean move

2117
02:29:19,600 --> 02:29:24,500
past, but definitely gave me
something to work with, Okay, I

2118
02:29:24,500 --> 02:29:28,200
would go with that, you know?
I mean unfortunate,

2119
02:29:28,200 --> 02:29:32,100
unfortunately, for a lot of us,
we live, we live, we live with

2120
02:29:32,100 --> 02:29:35,400
that underlying fear of
something, you know, but we

2121
02:29:35,400 --> 02:29:38,700
definitely try.
To work with that and not let it

2122
02:29:38,700 --> 02:29:40,500
ruin.
My biggest thing is not to let

2123
02:29:40,500 --> 02:29:45,800
the fear rule me.you, you know,
and so yeah.

2124
02:29:47,500 --> 02:29:49,800
Okay, so I'll jump in since
we're already a muted.

2125
02:29:49,900 --> 02:29:55,300
Yeah.
Um, you know, I've always known.

2126
02:29:55,300 --> 02:29:58,300
I've had like, I said earlier a
witness at a very young age that

2127
02:29:58,300 --> 02:30:04,900
I would live this lifestyle.
And I think the hardest part, to

2128
02:30:04,900 --> 02:30:10,600
be honest, even with just myself
is that I was an only child

2129
02:30:10,600 --> 02:30:13,300
living in a huge family.
I still got to go home and have

2130
02:30:13,300 --> 02:30:21,400
my parents as my parents. and,
for the first little bit, the

2131
02:30:21,400 --> 02:30:27,000
hardest was sharing Dan then,
after that, became the norm

2132
02:30:27,000 --> 02:30:30,900
where he wasn't home every
night, And I mentioned a little

2133
02:30:30,900 --> 02:30:33,900
bit ago that she left when I
moved away for a little bit.

2134
02:30:36,300 --> 02:30:42,000
I was mad that she left for many
reasons, some very obvious, but

2135
02:30:42,000 --> 02:30:45,300
here's one that maybe isn't
obvious, he was home every

2136
02:30:45,300 --> 02:30:52,700
night.
I was not thrilled and I like,

2137
02:30:52,700 --> 02:30:55,900
my husband.
Why are you always here?

2138
02:30:59,600 --> 02:31:01,800
Can you go study somewhere?
Do something.

2139
02:31:02,100 --> 02:31:05,200
And even like one of our
grandsons, I don't like it.

2140
02:31:05,200 --> 02:31:09,500
When Papa's here all the time
because I can't have sleepovers

2141
02:31:09,500 --> 02:31:13,000
when he's over here.
I can have them when he's gone

2142
02:31:14,000 --> 02:31:20,700
and so my grandson's and I have
value in this that people don't

2143
02:31:20,800 --> 02:31:23,900
see.
But yes, it's funny but it's

2144
02:31:23,900 --> 02:31:27,000
also kind of true because we
kind of like having our own

2145
02:31:27,000 --> 02:31:30,700
space and Like to do some of
these.

2146
02:31:30,700 --> 02:31:34,200
Now you said was this hard to
reconcile with when we first,

2147
02:31:34,400 --> 02:31:39,100
you know, join fundamentalism.
I mean, I think it's interesting

2148
02:31:39,100 --> 02:31:40,500
because there's different types
of people.

2149
02:31:40,500 --> 02:31:45,000
There's people at least that
come into our church, that

2150
02:31:45,000 --> 02:31:47,700
either I want to live it and I
want to live it today and sign

2151
02:31:47,700 --> 02:31:49,300
me up for three, where he got
them.

2152
02:31:49,300 --> 02:31:52,400
So we just pick them out like a
coat hanging in the closet kind

2153
02:31:52,400 --> 02:31:56,800
of a thing and and then there's
the others that are like, you

2154
02:31:56,800 --> 02:31:59,400
know, I mean, I'm good with my
wife and the family Family, I

2155
02:31:59,400 --> 02:32:01,300
have and I want to be here and
participate in.

2156
02:32:01,308 --> 02:32:02,900
I want to learn.
I want to grow and I want to

2157
02:32:03,100 --> 02:32:06,300
learn about the other gospel
topics and and I'm in no rush

2158
02:32:06,700 --> 02:32:10,200
and I think those are the wiser
ones.

2159
02:32:10,200 --> 02:32:17,700
Honestly but you know I was
willing if the Lord was willing

2160
02:32:18,800 --> 02:32:26,900
and my heart and my soul were
willing before We left Idaho.

2161
02:32:27,500 --> 02:32:34,800
I had a dream that there were
these two dark Hood children and

2162
02:32:34,800 --> 02:32:39,600
one was older than the other and
it was a boy and a girl and they

2163
02:32:39,600 --> 02:32:43,800
were going that they were our
kids, okay?

2164
02:32:43,900 --> 02:32:51,800
But I knew that they weren't my
children. and our kids were, I

2165
02:32:51,808 --> 02:32:56,100
mean, our youngest kids when we
joined this fundamentalism and

2166
02:32:56,100 --> 02:33:05,000
Christchurch were 16 at the time
and so you know, having a dream

2167
02:33:05,000 --> 02:33:09,100
of these little kids and we were
in a house and and you went down

2168
02:33:09,100 --> 02:33:11,800
into like a sunken living room
and the little girl was watching

2169
02:33:11,800 --> 02:33:15,000
TV and a little boy was sitting
over doing something and I went

2170
02:33:15,000 --> 02:33:17,200
in the room and was visiting
with them and hanging out and we

2171
02:33:17,200 --> 02:33:19,200
did some stuff and that was kind
of in the dream.

2172
02:33:19,200 --> 02:33:24,200
And I remember the little girl
said, hey, you know, where's

2173
02:33:24,300 --> 02:33:29,500
where's mom and in the dream?
The little boy said oh she's

2174
02:33:29,500 --> 02:33:32,900
there, they're upstairs, you
know, with with Dad.

2175
02:33:33,300 --> 02:33:38,300
And you know, fast forward, I
know who those two kids are

2176
02:33:38,600 --> 02:33:43,000
right and and I know that
Charlotte and Melissa met them

2177
02:33:44,300 --> 02:33:46,400
and maybe even Andrea at least
one of them.

2178
02:33:46,700 --> 02:33:56,700
But if if I hadn't have accepted
my sister wife, I wouldn't have

2179
02:33:56,700 --> 02:34:00,100
them in my life and I didn't
accept her because of those

2180
02:34:00,100 --> 02:34:03,600
children.
I accepted her because I wanted

2181
02:34:03,600 --> 02:34:09,200
to be with her and I want her to
be with us and them to be with

2182
02:34:09,200 --> 02:34:12,400
us and that I knew it was,
right?

2183
02:34:12,500 --> 02:34:16,100
I knew that in the pre-existence
that she was there and that our

2184
02:34:16,100 --> 02:34:22,900
family wasn't complete without
her and so yeah, it's

2185
02:34:22,900 --> 02:34:24,800
intimidating and yeah, there's
time.

2186
02:34:25,000 --> 02:34:28,600
As when jealousy Creeps in and
you're overly emotional, it's

2187
02:34:28,600 --> 02:34:31,400
the wrong time of the month and
everything collides, at the same

2188
02:34:31,400 --> 02:34:34,400
time and you have a mental
breakdown.

2189
02:34:34,400 --> 02:34:37,100
Sometimes, you know, even if
it's just crying, in your pillow

2190
02:34:37,100 --> 02:34:40,300
at night, you know, but then the
next time, when he's over there

2191
02:34:40,300 --> 02:34:43,300
on a night that he shouldn't be
in, you had plans, it's like I

2192
02:34:43,300 --> 02:34:45,500
forget all about that.
Emotional breakdowns have it on

2193
02:34:45,500 --> 02:34:48,400
Mike.
Now I got to entertain him or

2194
02:34:48,800 --> 02:34:51,100
deal with this or that or, you
know.

2195
02:34:51,100 --> 02:34:54,800
And so there's given taken all
of this city.

2196
02:34:55,000 --> 02:34:59,000
Situation.
But we all bring gifts to this

2197
02:34:59,000 --> 02:35:02,500
and we all bring in an
opportunity to learn and grow

2198
02:35:02,500 --> 02:35:06,400
with each other.
And I'm I'm probably going to

2199
02:35:06,600 --> 02:35:09,700
take over for you David, because
I'm going to say something here.

2200
02:35:10,200 --> 02:35:15,300
I think I'm reassured something
online about her experience with

2201
02:35:15,300 --> 02:35:20,100
her sister wife and the beauty
of it all that really kind of

2202
02:35:20,100 --> 02:35:23,200
opened my eyes to it and I don't
know if she wants to share any

2203
02:35:23,200 --> 02:35:30,300
of her experiences or not in
that regard, but you know, All

2204
02:35:30,300 --> 02:35:33,400
of these things.
Make the difficult things.

2205
02:35:34,700 --> 02:35:40,000
Worth it.
Yeah, and I appreciate all the

2206
02:35:40,000 --> 02:35:43,600
women that are on this podcast
because I've learned something

2207
02:35:43,600 --> 02:35:51,100
from all of you and I'm very
grateful for that and that we

2208
02:35:51,100 --> 02:35:57,100
have become friends, even if at
a distance but I am very

2209
02:35:57,100 --> 02:36:02,900
grateful for The Sisterhood of
having a sister wife and I've

2210
02:36:02,900 --> 02:36:08,400
having you guys all as friends.
Thanks Anne.

2211
02:36:11,300 --> 02:36:14,500
Andrea, I didn't ask the
question and ask the question

2212
02:36:14,500 --> 02:36:17,700
you you.
So I she said you put something

2213
02:36:17,700 --> 02:36:25,300
online recently.
All right, able to hear me.

2214
02:36:25,500 --> 02:36:27,200
I am yeah.
Perfect.

2215
02:36:27,200 --> 02:36:35,200
Okay.
We just lost you up there.

2216
02:36:35,200 --> 02:36:36,600
There you're back again.
Okay.

2217
02:36:37,800 --> 02:36:41,000
Did you hear me?
I said, I I've put probably a

2218
02:36:41,000 --> 02:36:52,500
lot of stuff online. and I'm I'm
not sure which, which thing, but

2219
02:36:52,500 --> 02:37:05,100
I put on life other than my
experience as having a Sister

2220
02:37:05,100 --> 02:37:12,200
wise, It was.
Of course, the big learning

2221
02:37:12,200 --> 02:37:22,300
experience as, as probably, all
of, you know, she left quite a

2222
02:37:22,308 --> 02:37:28,000
few years ago about 10 years ago
and it's been an adjustment, our

2223
02:37:28,000 --> 02:37:32,300
family.
But I don't know.

2224
02:37:34,600 --> 02:37:39,200
She was my friend.
She was my companion.

2225
02:37:40,700 --> 02:37:48,200
Her husband was gone a lot on
the road working and for me,

2226
02:37:49,100 --> 02:37:58,900
having her, there was always a
comfort We were best friends.

2227
02:38:06,200 --> 02:38:07,300
Andrea.
I'm so sorry.

2228
02:38:07,300 --> 02:38:09,200
We kind of lost your audio
again.

2229
02:38:10,400 --> 02:38:12,500
Did you hear?
Can you hear me now or not?

2230
02:38:12,700 --> 02:38:15,100
Yep.
Yep I can hear you now.

2231
02:38:15,900 --> 02:38:26,000
It's really bad weave.
Can't hear you again.

2232
02:38:33,800 --> 02:38:35,400
Yeah, I know.
It's pretty gurgly.

2233
02:38:35,700 --> 02:38:37,700
I'll tell you what.
Let's give it a few minutes.

2234
02:38:38,200 --> 02:38:41,100
Let's go to Charlotte and
Melissa.

2235
02:38:41,600 --> 02:38:44,300
And then we'll try again here
before we leave, cuz I really

2236
02:38:44,300 --> 02:38:46,000
want to get to what it is.
You have to say.

2237
02:38:51,400 --> 02:38:55,400
So your question was, was it
hard to reconcile plural

2238
02:38:55,400 --> 02:38:58,800
marriage?
Okay, so in a word, yes,

2239
02:38:59,300 --> 02:39:02,900
definitely.
It was very challenging for me.

2240
02:39:04,400 --> 02:39:10,000
I had a couple of experiences
when I was younger.

2241
02:39:10,900 --> 02:39:15,200
Like, maybe around 17 years old.
I had a boyfriend and my best

2242
02:39:15,200 --> 02:39:19,600
friend didn't and we hung out
all three together a lot.

2243
02:39:19,800 --> 02:39:23,900
And I remember thinking one
time, oh, I could see how this

2244
02:39:23,900 --> 02:39:24,900
could be.
No nice.

2245
02:39:24,900 --> 02:39:27,800
Like I feel.
I feel sad that she doesn't have

2246
02:39:27,800 --> 02:39:32,000
a man in her life and I do I
could could see how it could be

2247
02:39:32,300 --> 02:39:35,100
something a woman would want.
It's like share her man with the

2248
02:39:35,108 --> 02:39:41,000
best and and then I had the same
feeling when I was friends with

2249
02:39:41,000 --> 02:39:46,300
Melissa, many years later when
just hearing about the bad

2250
02:39:46,300 --> 02:39:51,800
marriage, she was in and How she
had like her.

2251
02:39:53,200 --> 02:39:55,700
I'm afraid of saying, like, too
many personal details on Alyssa,

2252
02:39:55,700 --> 02:39:59,300
but I'll just say that I
remember, at least one time

2253
02:39:59,400 --> 02:40:04,700
wishing that, I could like be
that person for her.

2254
02:40:05,300 --> 02:40:09,600
And but that was all kind of
academic.

2255
02:40:10,300 --> 02:40:13,700
And when it came right down to
it, though, it was, it was

2256
02:40:13,700 --> 02:40:20,600
really challenging for me.
I didn't know anyone who was a

2257
02:40:20,608 --> 02:40:27,000
polygamist except that my aunt,
like 30 years before had wanted

2258
02:40:27,000 --> 02:40:30,900
to live plural, marriage, bad
enough that she had left her

2259
02:40:31,800 --> 02:40:35,900
monogamous husband to go become
a wife and that hadn't blasted

2260
02:40:35,900 --> 02:40:37,500
long.
And so that was like the only

2261
02:40:37,500 --> 02:40:41,600
person that I knew, that was a
polygamist.

2262
02:40:41,900 --> 02:40:45,200
And so, it wasn't like, I had
these great examples to look at

2263
02:40:45,300 --> 02:40:46,900
I guess.
And if you'd like one really In

2264
02:40:46,900 --> 02:40:49,000
the scriptures, there's actually
a lot of polygamy in the

2265
02:40:49,000 --> 02:40:54,400
scriptures but they're mostly
that examples of Sister Wives

2266
02:40:54,400 --> 02:40:57,400
not getting along and stuff.
And so it's not like you're

2267
02:40:57,400 --> 02:41:00,100
going to find many good Role
Models there.

2268
02:41:00,400 --> 02:41:07,000
So so yes, it was, it was
difficult and I never had one of

2269
02:41:07,000 --> 02:41:15,200
these section. 132 conversion
moments like I've heard women

2270
02:41:15,200 --> 02:41:19,700
tell those stories my Didn't has
really been in the living of it

2271
02:41:19,700 --> 02:41:25,600
because at the time that I knew
that was what God wanted for me.

2272
02:41:25,600 --> 02:41:29,300
I just went forward with it
without really having what I

2273
02:41:29,300 --> 02:41:31,400
would say is a testimony of the
principal.

2274
02:41:32,300 --> 02:41:38,800
I just really want to do what
God wanted, for me and Joshua

2275
02:41:38,800 --> 02:41:42,600
had his own experience, Melissa
had her own, we just went for it

2276
02:41:43,000 --> 02:41:45,500
and it was it was really, really
hard.

2277
02:41:45,600 --> 02:41:49,300
Like I Just emotionally.
This is, this is even before

2278
02:41:49,300 --> 02:41:52,200
Joshua and I had talked about
it, but I knew that it was what

2279
02:41:52,200 --> 02:41:58,200
was in God's will and I was so
it was on my mind so much and it

2280
02:41:58,200 --> 02:42:02,500
was emotionally upsetting so
much that I actually stopped

2281
02:42:02,500 --> 02:42:06,800
eating without really noticing,
and didn't realize it until my

2282
02:42:06,800 --> 02:42:10,000
eight month old, baby who was
exclusively breastfed was like,

2283
02:42:10,000 --> 02:42:14,500
beginning to starve because my
breast milk, I lost it and that

2284
02:42:14,500 --> 02:42:17,300
was when I realized.
Oh man, I got to get Get my life

2285
02:42:17,300 --> 02:42:20,500
under control better here.
But so there was there was some

2286
02:42:20,500 --> 02:42:24,300
challenging things that that
happened, but it was all like

2287
02:42:24,300 --> 02:42:25,600
me.
It wasn't actually the

2288
02:42:25,600 --> 02:42:28,100
situation.
It was just me, like, fixing the

2289
02:42:28,100 --> 02:42:35,900
way I was thinking about things
and So so I've come a really

2290
02:42:35,900 --> 02:42:38,800
long way, so I guess that's
that's something I want to make.

2291
02:42:38,800 --> 02:42:41,600
Sure it is clear.
It wasn't like suddenly my life

2292
02:42:41,600 --> 02:42:44,900
became terrible.
You know, and my sister wife

2293
02:42:44,900 --> 02:42:46,200
treated me poorly.
None of that.

2294
02:42:46,200 --> 02:42:50,900
It was all just up here and
having to fix the way I looked

2295
02:42:50,900 --> 02:42:54,000
at things with for like, I'd
gone into this barrage expecting

2296
02:42:54,400 --> 02:42:58,700
monogamy and, you know, going
on, senior couple missions later

2297
02:42:58,700 --> 02:43:02,100
in life and like dying side.
By side in bed holding hands,

2298
02:43:02,100 --> 02:43:04,200
kind of just like this.
Simple life.

2299
02:43:04,200 --> 02:43:07,500
And it was like that wasn't
what's going to be happening

2300
02:43:07,500 --> 02:43:09,300
here.
Like you get to figure out how

2301
02:43:09,300 --> 02:43:13,700
to share a man, you get to
figure out how he could possibly

2302
02:43:13,700 --> 02:43:17,400
love to women and it doesn't
take away from you at all and

2303
02:43:17,400 --> 02:43:21,300
all these things I've had and it
was it was in the doing it that

2304
02:43:21,300 --> 02:43:25,800
I've gained such a strong
testimony of it.

2305
02:43:25,800 --> 02:43:34,100
I guess you could say and but I
was still I would say week like,

2306
02:43:34,100 --> 02:43:38,500
I was, I was firm that Melissa
was meant to be in our family,

2307
02:43:38,700 --> 02:43:45,000
but I still didn't love the idea
of ever even entertaining the

2308
02:43:45,000 --> 02:43:48,500
idea of having a third wife,
because I didn't want to go

2309
02:43:48,500 --> 02:43:50,600
through that.
Again, that was so hard.

2310
02:43:50,600 --> 02:43:53,900
Like, for one thing, we kept it,
a secret that was challenging.

2311
02:43:54,600 --> 02:43:59,100
There was just a lot of pieces.
So after Joshua married to

2312
02:43:59,100 --> 02:44:02,100
Melissa for about three and a
half years, He came to me with

2313
02:44:02,100 --> 02:44:09,400
the idea of asking, one of our
friends to court him and I did

2314
02:44:09,400 --> 02:44:12,700
not I couldn't say a single word
to him.

2315
02:44:13,100 --> 02:44:16,700
I literally felt like I had been
kicked in the stomach.

2316
02:44:16,800 --> 02:44:20,600
I got up from where we were
sitting and I went to the

2317
02:44:20,600 --> 02:44:24,200
bathroom and I'm not kidding
you, I had diarrhea like it was

2318
02:44:24,200 --> 02:44:27,800
just like a physical response to
what he said.

2319
02:44:27,800 --> 02:44:31,100
Like, oh my gosh, we have to go
through that again, and it took

2320
02:44:31,200 --> 02:44:35,500
Took me half a day, maybe just
like turmoil.

2321
02:44:35,500 --> 02:44:37,600
I was like, he's going to have
to medicate me.

2322
02:44:37,600 --> 02:44:42,600
Like this is horrible.
And and then I would say that

2323
02:44:42,600 --> 02:44:47,800
was when God finally visited me
and I had an experience and I

2324
02:44:47,800 --> 02:44:52,300
was like, okay, actually I
changed my mind.

2325
02:44:53,100 --> 02:44:57,600
I want this and, and we ask this
woman.

2326
02:44:58,700 --> 02:45:02,700
To court us and she turned us
down but it was a really big

2327
02:45:02,700 --> 02:45:08,900
learning experience for me
because I like I thought okay

2328
02:45:08,900 --> 02:45:11,800
here's what I'm going to do.
I never want to be sidelined by

2329
02:45:11,800 --> 02:45:15,400
that concept.
Again I need to think about this

2330
02:45:16,100 --> 02:45:21,400
every single day until it
doesn't bother me anymore and so

2331
02:45:22,100 --> 02:45:24,900
I did I started thinking about
all the time and trying and I

2332
02:45:24,900 --> 02:45:27,300
would like just really think
like why does this bother me?

2333
02:45:27,300 --> 02:45:30,800
Where is my fault?
We've I really want to fix it

2334
02:45:31,300 --> 02:45:36,600
and I would actually imagine the
actual woman that Joshua would

2335
02:45:36,600 --> 02:45:43,000
begin to love as well as Melissa
and myself and and I was able to

2336
02:45:43,100 --> 02:45:47,500
do a lot of growth just from the
thinking about it and about a

2337
02:45:47,500 --> 02:45:51,400
year after that, I actually
started a Blog about polygamy

2338
02:45:51,400 --> 02:45:55,200
because I wanted the growth that
came from thinking about it and

2339
02:45:55,200 --> 02:45:57,100
writing about it and talking
about it.

2340
02:45:57,200 --> 02:46:00,400
So I don't have this blog called
speaking of polygamy and it's

2341
02:46:00,600 --> 02:46:02,700
only polygamy.
Like there's tons of gospel

2342
02:46:02,700 --> 02:46:04,000
topics.
You can write about that are

2343
02:46:04,000 --> 02:46:07,200
interesting and who used to not
even be that interesting to me.

2344
02:46:07,200 --> 02:46:12,400
But now it's like I it is
something I want to look at and

2345
02:46:12,900 --> 02:46:18,900
grow from as much as possible.
And now I can honestly say that

2346
02:46:18,900 --> 02:46:22,700
I'm really hopeful that someday
we will be able to have a third

2347
02:46:22,700 --> 02:46:24,400
wife.
We did court someone about a

2348
02:46:24,400 --> 02:46:30,000
year ago and and it was
Wonderful, this is good times

2349
02:46:30,400 --> 02:46:33,200
until the end, I thought it was
good.

2350
02:46:33,400 --> 02:46:36,900
I was like, wow, I have really
come a long way and she was

2351
02:46:36,900 --> 02:46:41,000
young, and energetic and
beautiful's, that's what I'm

2352
02:46:41,000 --> 02:46:43,000
saying was great.
But it was like, I was like,

2353
02:47:28,700 --> 02:47:31,600
but one of the reasons I don't
think everybody should do it is

2354
02:47:32,000 --> 02:47:35,400
because not everybody is up for
it.

2355
02:47:35,600 --> 02:47:39,000
It's not that.
So I guess that's that's what I

2356
02:47:39,008 --> 02:47:43,100
mean.
So I was actually talking to One

2357
02:47:43,100 --> 02:47:46,900
of our friends about it and I
said I don't think it should be

2358
02:47:46,900 --> 02:47:49,800
taught that living.
Plural marriage is some

2359
02:47:49,800 --> 02:47:52,000
mandatory thing for
exploitation.

2360
02:47:52,200 --> 02:47:55,900
However, I do feel like plural.
Marriage is a really wonderful

2361
02:47:55,900 --> 02:48:00,300
opportunity to grow and become
person and he as a monogamist

2362
02:48:00,300 --> 02:48:03,800
LDS, man who believes in the
principle of doesn't live it.

2363
02:48:03,900 --> 02:48:10,200
He said, Don't you think that it
would be hard to keep that Under

2364
02:48:10,200 --> 02:48:12,200
Wraps?
Like isn't that why people would

2365
02:48:12,200 --> 02:48:14,100
want to live plural?
Marriage is the growth.

2366
02:48:14,300 --> 02:48:19,300
So even if so I guess he was
kind of feeling defensive of my

2367
02:48:19,300 --> 02:48:24,100
criticism of the early Utah
church leaders who spoke about

2368
02:48:24,100 --> 02:48:27,900
plural marriage as if everybody
needed to live it and it's more

2369
02:48:27,900 --> 02:48:32,200
like no just if you want the
growth and that's a good a good

2370
02:48:32,200 --> 02:48:36,100
path to take.
So that's awesome.

2371
02:48:38,900 --> 02:48:42,500
Melissa.
Yeah like shows Ted so we don't

2372
02:48:42,500 --> 02:48:51,200
have any background mom referred
to as creepy.

2373
02:48:53,800 --> 02:48:55,900
See, I was monogamous through
and through.

2374
02:48:55,900 --> 02:49:00,300
I mean we joke about this
sometimes with their River very

2375
02:49:00,300 --> 02:49:02,800
weird best friends before I
joined the family.

2376
02:49:02,800 --> 02:49:05,100
And there was a conversation
that we had.

2377
02:49:05,100 --> 02:49:08,400
We'd read this blog post about
how pro-marriage never of thing.

2378
02:49:08,500 --> 02:49:13,300
Well, that one section 132 was
fraudulently.

2379
02:49:13,300 --> 02:49:15,100
Yeah.
And there's, you know, all the

2380
02:49:15,100 --> 02:49:19,000
arguments about that.
And so I remember have this

2381
02:49:19,000 --> 02:49:22,100
distinct memory of standing in
front of my refrigerator, you

2382
02:49:22,100 --> 02:49:24,700
know, the show is my best friend
at the time.

2383
02:49:24,700 --> 02:49:29,300
And we literally like we
literally high five that we

2384
02:49:29,300 --> 02:49:33,100
would never have to live that
because there's all fraudulent.

2385
02:49:35,200 --> 02:49:40,900
And so I kind of feel like So I
have this brooch or Witnesses

2386
02:49:40,900 --> 02:49:45,100
system are Joshua Wright and be
part of this family but we

2387
02:49:45,100 --> 02:49:48,100
didn't get a manual.
Like we didn't have friends that

2388
02:49:48,100 --> 02:49:50,000
did it.
We didn't know anybody like when

2389
02:49:50,000 --> 02:49:53,600
Charlotte said that she should
split jet, we didn't know anyone

2390
02:49:53,600 --> 02:49:59,000
and so it really Was spiritual
boot camp.

2391
02:49:59,200 --> 02:50:04,100
I mean and it was not like I
just feel like I got recruited.

2392
02:50:04,100 --> 02:50:05,500
It wasn't, I wouldn't even
recruited.

2393
02:50:05,500 --> 02:50:10,600
I got drafted.
I mean it was just like ride

2394
02:50:10,600 --> 02:50:15,200
this thing out and and I am one
person that like, when I read

2395
02:50:15,200 --> 02:50:17,700
132, I didn't have this giant
spiritual witness.

2396
02:50:18,000 --> 02:50:20,700
But what I said to the Lord,
which, you know, I'm kind of

2397
02:50:20,700 --> 02:50:22,300
dumb sometimes.
Maybe.

2398
02:50:22,600 --> 02:50:26,300
But I said, you know, this says
that more will be revealed and I

2399
02:50:26,308 --> 02:50:28,500
was like, okay well, Got to the
end of the scripture.

2400
02:50:28,500 --> 02:50:30,800
So what's up here?
Let's do this.

2401
02:50:31,200 --> 02:50:36,000
And it was buckle up and it
really was and so and we had

2402
02:50:36,000 --> 02:50:40,400
some things that really stymied
Us in the beginning as far as I

2403
02:50:40,400 --> 02:50:44,500
told somebody in my family that
I really trusted and I didn't

2404
02:50:44,500 --> 02:50:48,800
think that three days later, I'd
be getting a call from the

2405
02:50:49,200 --> 02:50:55,200
Brazilian Rainforest from my
brother who was on study abroad

2406
02:50:55,200 --> 02:50:58,500
thing with a bunch of students.
And he's Literally standing.

2407
02:51:00,200 --> 02:51:04,000
On the balcony, you know,
railing to get service to talk

2408
02:51:04,000 --> 02:51:06,900
to you about this because
person, I called like, it went

2409
02:51:06,900 --> 02:51:11,000
so far in my family that I
didn't out myself.

2410
02:51:11,100 --> 02:51:16,000
It was really early on.
I had also been so negative

2411
02:51:16,000 --> 02:51:19,500
about plural marriage to my kids
that once.

2412
02:51:19,500 --> 02:51:23,200
And I talked about this in
Charlotte's blog on a post that

2413
02:51:24,000 --> 02:51:26,200
I've been so negative about
plural marriage even though, you

2414
02:51:26,200 --> 02:51:28,600
know, as an audience member, I
knew at some point and have to

2415
02:51:28,600 --> 02:51:33,000
live it, but I've been sober.
Vogel because of her some 40

2416
02:51:33,000 --> 02:51:36,600
families in school, they went to
and so they just thought is

2417
02:51:36,600 --> 02:51:41,700
nothing but negative and so then
Mom does this crazy 180 of you

2418
02:51:41,700 --> 02:51:43,600
know guess what?
Mom's going to become a plural

2419
02:51:43,600 --> 02:51:48,900
wife and it just it went bad
fast and there were teenagers so

2420
02:51:48,900 --> 02:51:52,500
and late teen.
So it went real bad real fast

2421
02:51:52,500 --> 02:51:57,700
and it was very very ugly and
yeah, we didn't live together

2422
02:51:57,700 --> 02:52:04,800
for For five years.
Because and that was really

2423
02:52:04,800 --> 02:52:06,300
hard.
And I think that was hardest on

2424
02:52:06,300 --> 02:52:08,400
Joshua, because he was back and
forth.

2425
02:52:08,400 --> 02:52:12,000
We lived when he showed wasn't
warm and I was in 2000 as a 70

2426
02:52:12,000 --> 02:52:17,800
minute drive between and we try
to see each other but you know,

2427
02:52:17,800 --> 02:52:22,000
I had these really really rough
teenagers at that point and

2428
02:52:22,000 --> 02:52:27,800
trying to raise them.
Finish raising them out and try

2429
02:52:27,800 --> 02:52:31,200
to keep them going on a good
trajectory.

2430
02:52:31,500 --> 02:52:36,200
So there really was no way to
live together before 5 years

2431
02:52:36,200 --> 02:52:38,100
until I was finished.
Raising them.

2432
02:52:38,100 --> 02:52:41,100
And then we moved in together
and it's not really together

2433
02:52:41,100 --> 02:52:43,300
because we have our own
apartments in this in this

2434
02:52:43,300 --> 02:52:46,100
house.
So if it's together but it's not

2435
02:52:46,100 --> 02:52:49,400
that we make time every night
you know, for an hour, an hour

2436
02:52:49,400 --> 02:52:52,700
and a half days some time with
each other as a family.

2437
02:52:53,300 --> 02:52:56,300
So, but yeah, I don't Like, we
didn't have good examples.

2438
02:52:56,300 --> 02:53:01,600
We have bad examples, we just
like yeah, yeah we did and I

2439
02:53:01,600 --> 02:53:05,600
think I know that I felt some
things up here along the way as

2440
02:53:05,600 --> 02:53:09,900
far as just did we stay hidden
for long enough for too long.

2441
02:53:09,900 --> 02:53:12,000
I never should have told that
person he'd been with the

2442
02:53:12,000 --> 02:53:14,700
extracted promise I am going to
hold them accountable for that

2443
02:53:14,700 --> 02:53:19,800
one day.
Yeah it's and it's not easy but

2444
02:53:19,800 --> 02:53:23,600
some key things that I've begun
to understand just about

2445
02:53:23,600 --> 02:53:28,900
marriage To a husband is that
there's a lot of talk about

2446
02:53:28,900 --> 02:53:32,900
sharing a husband.
You can't share, what you don't

2447
02:53:32,900 --> 02:53:35,600
own.
Like, I kind of live by that.

2448
02:53:35,600 --> 02:53:39,600
So I don't own my husband, okay?
If anything from a Biblical

2449
02:53:39,600 --> 02:53:43,000
standpoint, he owns me and the
can go into all and people get

2450
02:53:43,000 --> 02:53:45,200
really angry about that.
And that's probably a whole

2451
02:53:45,200 --> 02:53:51,000
other podcast Dave.
But so I don't own my husband

2452
02:53:51,000 --> 02:53:54,500
and I can't share what?
I don't own, I like it.

2453
02:53:54,600 --> 02:53:58,500
By definition, he is a husband
and so the care that he takes

2454
02:53:58,500 --> 02:54:01,700
care of me, has nothing to do
with the care that he takes them

2455
02:54:01,700 --> 02:54:04,100
another wife.
Now, does he have less time?

2456
02:54:04,100 --> 02:54:06,400
Is it logistically crazy
sometimes?

2457
02:54:06,400 --> 02:54:09,900
Absolutely, but that is not
necessarily because he loves

2458
02:54:09,900 --> 02:54:12,500
Charlotte.
It's also because, you know,

2459
02:54:12,500 --> 02:54:18,000
he's deeply invested in this
family as a whole and in moving

2460
02:54:18,000 --> 02:54:20,300
ourselves forward in what we're
doing.

2461
02:54:20,300 --> 02:54:24,000
And so he does spend time on
those things as well.

2462
02:54:24,200 --> 02:54:32,100
Where In monogamy, you know, it
wouldn't be so difficult to

2463
02:54:32,100 --> 02:54:35,800
maintain to, you know, a white
versus two women.

2464
02:54:37,600 --> 02:54:43,600
So, you know, I'm sure before on
the podcast that I live plural

2465
02:54:43,600 --> 02:54:47,500
marriage once before, before I
well I live plural marriage was

2466
02:54:47,500 --> 02:54:54,500
in the LDS church but Yeah, I
can relate to what you can say

2467
02:54:54,500 --> 02:54:56,600
about just jumping in and not
having a manual.

2468
02:54:57,100 --> 02:54:59,900
I had a good friend who's not
LDS, who asked me about it once.

2469
02:54:59,900 --> 02:55:01,000
He says, what's that?
Like?

2470
02:55:01,000 --> 02:55:04,700
And I said, well imagine you're
an amateur boxer and then you

2471
02:55:04,700 --> 02:55:07,900
get a shot to go up against Mike
Tyson in his prime.

2472
02:55:08,500 --> 02:55:11,200
That's what it's like.
You're spitting out your

2473
02:55:11,200 --> 02:55:15,100
mouthpiece a lot and your cut
all the time.

2474
02:55:15,900 --> 02:55:20,300
But every once in a while.
Things start to click and when

2475
02:55:20,300 --> 02:55:22,400
it's good.
It's amazing.

2476
02:55:23,400 --> 02:55:27,400
So I can I can totally
sympathize with with how you how

2477
02:55:27,400 --> 02:55:30,800
you felt there.
We don't recommend it as far as

2478
02:55:30,800 --> 02:55:33,100
like, if you are called to it.
Awesome.

2479
02:55:33,400 --> 02:55:35,300
You know, we will be here for
you.

2480
02:55:35,300 --> 02:55:38,200
Like, knock on our door, we'll
have a chat, but if you're not

2481
02:55:38,200 --> 02:55:45,200
called to this Just don't just
do just save you, I'm serious.

2482
02:55:45,800 --> 02:55:50,900
Save yourself all of the because
that's part of it is, if you're

2483
02:55:50,900 --> 02:55:54,900
not called to it.
You're not going to have the

2484
02:55:54,900 --> 02:55:59,700
tenacity right on there.
You're just not because you have

2485
02:55:59,700 --> 02:56:04,200
to know that this this is the
course, your life is going to

2486
02:56:04,200 --> 02:56:06,900
take it and and you get to
decide if you're going to go

2487
02:56:06,900 --> 02:56:09,500
Kicking and Screaming or if
you're going to suck it up and

2488
02:56:09,500 --> 02:56:14,000
you take the hit absolutely.
That's good stuff.

2489
02:56:15,100 --> 02:56:17,400
All right, and Andrea, should we
try this again?

2490
02:56:17,400 --> 02:56:20,600
Here, we before Andrew goes
coming trees and say, welcome

2491
02:56:20,600 --> 02:56:22,200
quick thing.
Yeah, absolutely.

2492
02:56:22,700 --> 02:56:24,600
Well, that's as quickly as I can
be.

2493
02:56:24,700 --> 02:56:27,800
Okay.
So I actually so I actually

2494
02:56:27,800 --> 02:56:33,800
lived 40 marriage back in 97.
I believe it was that was the

2495
02:56:33,808 --> 02:56:41,000
first time she left us.
So but I was very emphatic after

2496
02:56:41,000 --> 02:56:45,400
she left that I really Lee
wanted to live it again and

2497
02:56:46,300 --> 02:56:48,900
obviously, I didn't seek after
anybody.

2498
02:56:48,900 --> 02:56:52,600
We didn't seek after anybody who
would just if we want to live it

2499
02:56:52,600 --> 02:56:56,200
and if God wants us to live it,
then he'll it won't.

2500
02:56:56,200 --> 02:56:57,800
It will happen.
You know.

2501
02:56:58,500 --> 02:57:04,900
So fast forward, 2002, I had a
lot of problems.

2502
02:57:04,900 --> 02:57:08,400
Having another baby.
I ended up having a lot of

2503
02:57:08,400 --> 02:57:15,400
medical problems and up having
to have a hysterectomy. 2002 and

2504
02:57:15,600 --> 02:57:18,900
soda.
That was July 3rd 2002.

2505
02:57:19,400 --> 02:57:22,400
I had a hysterectomy full
hysterectomy, so, you know, no

2506
02:57:22,400 --> 02:57:26,000
more babies.
And if you think that God's not

2507
02:57:26,000 --> 02:57:28,700
going to hold you to your word
that you really want to live the

2508
02:57:28,700 --> 02:57:32,500
principle 3 weeks later.
After having a full

2509
02:57:32,500 --> 02:57:37,600
hysterectomy, we got the call
for us to live the principle.

2510
02:57:39,100 --> 02:57:42,500
And that was my best friend when
we soon as my best friend time.

2511
02:57:42,500 --> 02:57:45,900
But she became my best friend.
And those children were my

2512
02:57:45,900 --> 02:57:50,000
children, and that's how I felt.
But if you it was rough, you

2513
02:57:50,000 --> 02:57:52,400
know, think it wasn't rough
after a full hysterectomy.

2514
02:57:52,400 --> 02:57:54,900
Anybody who's either Bond
through the trained or had his

2515
02:57:54,900 --> 02:57:58,400
direct me, they understand
emotions, you know.

2516
02:57:59,500 --> 02:58:04,500
But If you want to live it and
you are true to wanting to live

2517
02:58:04,500 --> 02:58:06,100
at God's going to send it your
way.

2518
02:58:06,600 --> 02:58:09,700
So are you willing to accept it
when it comes, no matter what,

2519
02:58:09,700 --> 02:58:12,100
your circumstances at the time,
right?

2520
02:58:12,400 --> 02:58:19,000
Teresa you said something here
and my, my wife, both of them

2521
02:58:19,400 --> 02:58:22,300
have said, do not mention me on
the podcast.

2522
02:58:22,800 --> 02:58:27,800
So like, I may need to pitch a
tent in somebody's yard after

2523
02:58:27,800 --> 02:58:29,400
this, but I'm going for it
anyway.

2524
02:58:29,800 --> 02:58:33,200
Okay.
So my If Amber, my first wife,

2525
02:58:33,200 --> 02:58:36,400
who's absolutely awesome.
Just a rock star of an

2526
02:58:36,400 --> 02:58:43,500
individual when When the plural
marriage I had before I while I

2527
02:58:43,508 --> 02:58:46,600
was still in the LDS church fell
apart.

2528
02:58:48,100 --> 02:58:51,400
I hadn't moved back up before I
join.

2529
02:58:51,400 --> 02:58:53,600
The LDS church, there was really
only two things.

2530
02:58:53,600 --> 02:58:56,600
I was really good at football
and drinking and both I took

2531
02:58:56,600 --> 02:59:00,200
too.
Excessive, like, I feel like

2532
02:59:00,200 --> 02:59:02,900
Jack Daniels.
Sometimes owes me like, some of

2533
02:59:02,900 --> 02:59:05,100
the dividend checks, because I
know I helped.

2534
02:59:05,900 --> 02:59:09,100
Anyway.
I hadn't drank for like, 15

2535
02:59:09,100 --> 02:59:15,600
years and my My second wife at
the time, she left.

2536
02:59:16,700 --> 02:59:20,700
And she was gone and boy, I was
pissed at God.

2537
02:59:20,900 --> 02:59:25,200
I was like, you got me into
this, I prayed earnestly.

2538
02:59:25,200 --> 02:59:28,500
You gave me an answer.
This crap fell apart.

2539
02:59:28,600 --> 02:59:31,700
You owe me some ID, some
questions, some answers right

2540
02:59:31,700 --> 02:59:37,100
now and Because I was so
indignant.

2541
02:59:37,200 --> 02:59:41,300
I am pissed off and hurt.
I couldn't feel it.

2542
02:59:41,600 --> 02:59:44,600
I couldn't feel the comfort that
I thought I deserve.

2543
02:59:45,400 --> 02:59:47,900
So I thought, well, let's see if
I can get some comfort from

2544
02:59:47,900 --> 02:59:54,500
Captain Morgan and I see, I went
to town.

2545
02:59:54,500 --> 02:59:57,700
I did, I'm I'm ashamed of it but
I did.

2546
02:59:57,700 --> 03:00:00,700
And I did my best not to mourn
in front of Amber.

2547
03:00:00,700 --> 03:00:04,200
The loss of our sister wife
because I didn't want her to I

2548
03:00:04,208 --> 03:00:07,000
feel like she wasn't enough.
I was an experience.

2549
03:00:07,000 --> 03:00:08,600
I should have been more
transparent.

2550
03:00:08,600 --> 03:00:14,600
I wasn't I know better now but
she came out in that moment and

2551
03:00:14,600 --> 03:00:16,400
she just saw the bottle.
She's like you okay.

2552
03:00:16,400 --> 03:00:18,600
I'm like I'm good.
I've had a baby.

2553
03:00:19,100 --> 03:00:23,100
I was like, but I'm never doing
this again, this is stupid.

2554
03:00:23,700 --> 03:00:25,500
I'm going to forget everything.
I learned.

2555
03:00:25,500 --> 03:00:27,500
I'm going to go back to the LDS
church.

2556
03:00:27,500 --> 03:00:33,000
Screw this noise.
And I remember much like, like

2557
03:00:33,000 --> 03:00:38,200
you said, Teresa I remember my
Amber just got down like I level

2558
03:00:38,200 --> 03:00:40,500
although I'm sure my eyes were
crossed by that point.

2559
03:00:40,500 --> 03:00:42,200
So that's pretty much done with
that bottle.

2560
03:00:42,700 --> 03:00:46,100
And she just kind of took her
took her hands and just kind of

2561
03:00:46,100 --> 03:00:48,700
held my head and she's like, you
don't get it.

2562
03:00:48,800 --> 03:00:53,200
We've been called to this and if
it comes up again, we are going

2563
03:00:53,200 --> 03:01:01,800
to do it. and, Yep, sometimes
there's this idea that this is

2564
03:01:01,800 --> 03:01:05,900
something that just the guy
would want, but I can't stress

2565
03:01:05,900 --> 03:01:07,900
enough.
It's a calling, you have to feel

2566
03:01:07,900 --> 03:01:11,600
this, right?
As you progress, in the gospel,

2567
03:01:11,600 --> 03:01:16,200
you have to feel it and you and
I agree with with Melissa if you

2568
03:01:16,200 --> 03:01:20,500
don't feel it if maybe tap the
brakes just a little.

2569
03:01:21,100 --> 03:01:25,800
So all right, Charlotte, did you
have anything you wanted to add?

2570
03:01:26,300 --> 03:01:28,600
Yeah, for anyone.
In listening to this, I want to

2571
03:01:28,600 --> 03:01:33,400
say that.
In your religious Journey.

2572
03:01:33,400 --> 03:01:37,400
Make sure that you're not just
focused on getting it right for

2573
03:01:37,400 --> 03:01:42,700
yourself but that you are making
as a primary goal to perpetuate,

2574
03:01:42,700 --> 03:01:46,000
your religion to your children,
teach it in a way that you were

2575
03:01:46,000 --> 03:01:47,800
grandchildren.
Will be taught it.

2576
03:01:48,100 --> 03:01:54,400
You know, that's how big changes
happen is that or even just good

2577
03:01:54,400 --> 03:01:57,500
ideas, conserved is that they
get passed on to the next

2578
03:01:57,500 --> 03:02:01,300
Generation.
So fantastic, Focus.

2579
03:02:01,400 --> 03:02:06,900
On the kids.
Fantastic. and Teresa anything

2580
03:02:06,900 --> 03:02:11,800
you guys want to add as we wrap
up here, So, I just had a final

2581
03:02:11,800 --> 03:02:17,400
thing that I just wanted to say
that so plural marriage.

2582
03:02:17,400 --> 03:02:24,700
It to me, it is a big part but
it's still only a part of living

2583
03:02:24,700 --> 03:02:29,200
fundamentalism, you know?
So like sex, especially if you

2584
03:02:29,200 --> 03:02:34,300
live in a group, you know, like
like our group, we do a lot of

2585
03:02:34,300 --> 03:02:37,300
things together, which we talked
about, we work together.

2586
03:02:38,100 --> 03:02:44,500
We and let me think about in a
family, if you have more than

2587
03:02:44,500 --> 03:02:48,600
one wife, each of those Wives
has their own personality, each

2588
03:02:48,600 --> 03:02:52,400
of those Wives has their own
ideas, each of their, why is

2589
03:02:52,600 --> 03:02:55,100
everybody?
So as a bigger group, you're

2590
03:02:55,100 --> 03:02:59,200
really dealing with the same
thing on a bigger bigger sketch.

2591
03:02:59,200 --> 03:03:01,400
You just not living together,
right?

2592
03:03:01,700 --> 03:03:06,600
But I'm, we've been building a
church building over here for

2593
03:03:06,600 --> 03:03:10,200
quite a few years.
We just keep adding to it but

2594
03:03:10,200 --> 03:03:13,000
let me tell you, there's a lot
of opinions, you know.

2595
03:03:13,000 --> 03:03:16,500
So learning to work together
with those opinions and learning

2596
03:03:16,900 --> 03:03:23,200
to go with what is finally said.
This is what we're going to do

2597
03:03:23,700 --> 03:03:28,600
and and, and be happy with it,
you know, I like in, you know,

2598
03:03:29,300 --> 03:03:35,700
in my opinion, my experience in
marriage and you know, we would

2599
03:03:35,700 --> 03:03:40,400
come together as She wives and
the husband, maybe a couple of

2600
03:03:40,400 --> 03:03:42,700
the kids.
If they're older talk about,

2601
03:03:42,700 --> 03:03:45,500
maybe something that was going
on and something that needed to

2602
03:03:45,500 --> 03:03:49,500
be done.
We all give our opinions.

2603
03:03:50,800 --> 03:03:54,600
But the final decision in that
household was from the husband.

2604
03:03:55,700 --> 03:04:00,600
So are we happy with, you know,
we have to choose that to be

2605
03:04:00,600 --> 03:04:04,600
happy with that and choose that
that's the path that we wanted.

2606
03:04:04,700 --> 03:04:08,900
We want to follow, you know?
And so it's the same as in a

2607
03:04:08,900 --> 03:04:13,000
group, you know, somebody's
going to make the final

2608
03:04:13,000 --> 03:04:15,300
decision.
After all of these opinions of

2609
03:04:15,300 --> 03:04:18,500
come out, somebody has to write
there has to be a chief, right?

2610
03:04:19,500 --> 03:04:26,100
That's the way I look at it.
So anyway, I just, there were a

2611
03:04:26,100 --> 03:04:27,800
couple different things I wanted
to talk about.

2612
03:04:27,800 --> 03:04:32,700
It was compassion, and mercy.
And I think showing compassion

2613
03:04:32,700 --> 03:04:38,300
and mercy in a marriage, whether
it be monogamous polygamy,

2614
03:04:38,600 --> 03:04:41,200
polygamy situation of plural,
marriage situation.

2615
03:04:41,700 --> 03:04:44,000
Those are some, the two best
things.

2616
03:04:44,000 --> 03:04:47,100
I think you can give in a
relationship is to have

2617
03:04:47,100 --> 03:04:51,000
compassion and mercy for whether
it be a sister wife, or your

2618
03:04:51,000 --> 03:04:53,800
husband.
And I think it's the same that

2619
03:04:53,800 --> 03:04:58,500
holds true with friends and
members of your group.

2620
03:04:59,100 --> 03:05:01,500
And I think with all that I
think you learned Work together

2621
03:05:01,500 --> 03:05:04,400
a lot better.
Thank you.

2622
03:05:05,000 --> 03:05:09,100
And well I just want to kind of,
you know, I'm going to say.

2623
03:05:09,100 --> 03:05:12,600
I agree with Teresa and I agree
with what Charlotte has said.

2624
03:05:12,600 --> 03:05:17,600
But I think, you know, we need
to think about our future as in

2625
03:05:17,600 --> 03:05:23,000
society as a whole religiously
and otherwise and who are our

2626
03:05:23,000 --> 03:05:25,900
future and that is our children.
And we need to create an

2627
03:05:25,900 --> 03:05:30,800
environment that is safe loving
and where they can learn.

2628
03:05:31,000 --> 03:05:35,600
And grow in knowledge, and
become good, citizens of

2629
03:05:35,600 --> 03:05:37,500
whatever Society they choose to
be.

2630
03:05:37,900 --> 03:05:44,600
And for those who are listening,
you know, whatever your path is

2631
03:05:44,900 --> 03:05:48,700
right now, could change, you
know, something's going to

2632
03:05:48,700 --> 03:05:52,900
trigger you to, to be called to
do something.

2633
03:05:53,000 --> 03:05:56,000
And what it does, it could be
slapping high fives with your

2634
03:05:56,000 --> 03:05:58,400
best friend saying you'll never
have to live polygamy and then

2635
03:05:58,400 --> 03:06:00,200
it will change.
You could?

2636
03:06:00,200 --> 03:06:03,900
Yes.
Very much so very much so, but

2637
03:06:04,200 --> 03:06:06,400
just just like, Charlotte
Melissa, right?

2638
03:06:06,700 --> 03:06:13,400
So but it could be that You
know, you're you're not feeling

2639
03:06:13,400 --> 03:06:16,300
called to do something right
now, but in the future, you are

2640
03:06:16,400 --> 03:06:22,300
and I think the best advice I
can give you is what I applied

2641
03:06:22,400 --> 03:06:29,000
and that is take it to God, you
know, he is he's our father and

2642
03:06:29,000 --> 03:06:33,200
he knows what's in our hearts,
he knows what we agreed to do

2643
03:06:33,700 --> 03:06:39,200
and he's going to help you along
that path and it's never going

2644
03:06:39,200 --> 03:06:42,600
to be easy.
But It is something that you can

2645
03:06:42,600 --> 03:06:45,100
do.
If you get an answer that it's

2646
03:06:45,100 --> 03:06:49,400
chores to do and don't don't
just jump in because it's trendy

2647
03:06:49,800 --> 03:06:53,200
or it looks cool or you're upset
with whatever's going on in

2648
03:06:53,200 --> 03:06:57,100
your, in your life or in your
church or your community.

2649
03:06:57,500 --> 03:07:01,500
Pray it out seek an answer and
make sure it's something that's

2650
03:07:01,500 --> 03:07:05,100
good and safe for you and your
family and your children,

2651
03:07:05,900 --> 03:07:08,200
beautiful.
Awesome.

2652
03:07:08,500 --> 03:07:12,800
All right.
I wanted to save this to the

2653
03:07:12,800 --> 03:07:16,800
end.
And that is there are there's

2654
03:07:16,800 --> 03:07:20,900
two women on this podcast who
were more instrumental than

2655
03:07:20,900 --> 03:07:27,100
they'll know about keeping me
doing this and early on.

2656
03:07:27,700 --> 03:07:31,600
When I was like five six
episodes in, I do what I always

2657
03:07:31,600 --> 03:07:34,000
do which is start to think a
little too much.

2658
03:07:34,000 --> 03:07:35,600
I'm like, what the hell am I
doing?

2659
03:07:36,600 --> 03:07:45,600
And the first two that reached
out to me, one was an hatch and

2660
03:07:45,600 --> 03:07:48,400
she just gave me all these ideas
of who I could have on the

2661
03:07:48,400 --> 03:07:51,900
podcast.
The other was Melissa and she

2662
03:07:51,900 --> 03:07:54,700
just messaged me and she said,
keep it going.

2663
03:07:54,700 --> 03:07:58,300
This is great.
And you guys did more to help

2664
03:07:58,400 --> 03:08:00,300
help me through that little bit
of a dark time.

2665
03:08:00,300 --> 03:08:04,900
I had when I first started this,
and you'll ever know I would

2666
03:08:04,900 --> 03:08:09,400
challenge anybody after this
episode to stick to their

2667
03:08:09,400 --> 03:08:13,800
stereotypes.
I think, I think you ladies have

2668
03:08:13,800 --> 03:08:18,200
absolutely shattered that and I
just can't tell you how thankful

2669
03:08:18,200 --> 03:08:23,800
I am to to be Associated and and
know each one of you, I think

2670
03:08:23,800 --> 03:08:27,600
you're strong independent women,
and I'm so thankful for the

2671
03:08:27,600 --> 03:08:30,600
opportunity.
I've had to get to know you so

2672
03:08:30,700 --> 03:08:35,300
with that everyone until next
time, We'll talk to you later.

2673
03:08:35,500 --> 03:08:59,200
Bye.
You're listening to the Mormon

2674
03:08:59,200 --> 03:08:59,200
Renegade podcast.
You're listening to the Mormon

2675
03:08:59,200 --> 03:09:00,600
Renegade podcast.