Episode #142: Surrendering Our Will To God W/Liz Bradley

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A few months back I had Liz
Bradley on the podcast for a

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first installment of a series
covering certain gospel

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principles in hopes that we, and
when I say we I mean mostly me,

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can start to clean the junk out
of our lives so that we can

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become the people that the Lord
needs us to be.

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As times get crazier in these
last days, last time Liz and I

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had a conversation about
forgiveness.

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Now while that topic can be
tough, this next one is going to

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be just as equally challenging
as we talk about submitting our

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will to God.
As Liz and I have this

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conversation, we dive deep into
the scriptures.

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We talk about lived life
experiences and how this

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principle can affect our lives
for the better here in

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mortality.
That and more on this episode of

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the Mormon Renegade Podcast.
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The you're listening to the

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Mormon Renegade podcast.
Liz, how's it going?

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Pretty.
Good.

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How are?
You doing great.

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Thanks.
So I got to tell you that last

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conversation we had, I know of
one person especially that that

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meant a lot to and it meant it
meant something to to a few

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folks for sure.
And so I'm, I'm really excited

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to continue kind of on the
series that you and I have

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talked about here.
And today we're going to cover

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something that is a little tough
for us all, which is learning to

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surrender to the Lord.
When when you first brought this

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up, what, what made you decide
to focus on that?

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What made you decide that this
should be a topic as well?

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Oh, because it's a hard one.
It's a hard one.

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It's a hard.
It's something I've had

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experiences surrendering the
Lord and I'm currently going

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through experiences trying to
surrender to the Lord more.

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But also it's our our journey as
disciples is really to be

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crucified like Christ.
And I don't mean to be on a

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cross and be tortured and
whatever, but that was the

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completion of being fully
consecrated to God.

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And that's what our that's what
we are here to do.

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That's really what a disciples
journey is, is to learn how to

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to take off the extra that we
pick up in the world and that we

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think we need and just to render
and submit only to the will of

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God.
Yeah.

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You know, when, when we start
talking about submission to the

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Lord, there are so many examples
we can point to, right.

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The the one that that always
comes to my mind more than

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anything else is when the
savior's in the garden and he's,

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you know, he kind of knows
what's coming.

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You can tell that there's some
foreign knowledge here, that

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this will not be pleasant by any
stretch of the imagination.

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And he actually, you know, says
just let this pass.

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You know, if it's possible, let
it, let it.

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You know, I don't want, I don't
want to want this.

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And he says something
interesting at the end, which is

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not my will, but your will be
done.

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And, and on a cursory reading of
that, it seems so simple, right?

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It looks so simple.
But the problem is, is that it's

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really not right, because
there's only one thing that the

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Lord has given us that he will
not interfere with, and that's

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our agency.
That's our will, right?

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Every, you know, he'll part the
Red Sea for Moses, right?

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He'll, he'll, he'll allow that
to happen.

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He will, will, you know, 'cause
icebergs to break for the Saints

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on, on the, you know, the Erie
Canal so that the, their boats

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can get down.
He'll do all those things that

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we see and hear about in those
miracles as the Saints come

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across to Utah.
But the one thing he won't

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violate is is our will.
That is something we have to lay

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on the altar willingly.
Right.

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How does a person get?
Well before I ask that, let let

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me ask this.
What are the impediments to us

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being able to do that more
effectively as people as.

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Our preconceived ideas,
especially things that we have

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entwined with what we believe is
part of the gospel.

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I think as I look at directions
that the Lord has asked me to

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follow that seemed against
things that I had thought were

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like part of, you know, truth
and righteousness.

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And I go back to Scripture.
I find out, oh, that's, that's

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actually a philosophy of man
that we've just adopted into our

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belief system, you know, as
Christians or whatever.

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And so, so there's there's a
philosophy of men that says that

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there are certain things that no
one, someone can never change

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from.
And people act like that even in

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churches and everything.
But in the scripture, the Lord

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makes no disclaimer on that, you
know, and I guess one example of

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that would be same sex
attraction.

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Now, not everyone who turns to
the Lord has that removed from

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them, but there's a lot who do.
And so it is something to aim

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for.
But again, in that act of thy

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will be done.
You know, Father, even if you

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don't take this tendency away
from me, I'm still going to

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serve you and I'm still going to
be celibate.

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I'm not going to act on it,
right?

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But also seeking for that, that
healing and, and everything

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because actually that the Lord
has a certain design and it's

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male and female and it's
marriage and family.

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And for most people, obviously
not everybody is able to have

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that in their lives, but it is
the right thing to aim for

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because it's his pattern.
And I truly believe that anyone

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who is aiming at his pattern
will have those opportunities

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given to them in the next life.
And I don't know if that's

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doctrinally accurate or not, but
that's what I believe because

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God is a just God and you will
not be denied any blessing that

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you live for.
And so getting back to the

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doctrine helps to kind of sort
out the philosophies that that

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come in that keep us from
surrendering and submitting to

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the Lord.
I think I've mentioned before on

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the podcast, the same sex
attraction is something that

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I've dealt with.
And so when people try to say it

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is how someone is, you just need
to accept it.

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You just need to validate it.
You just needed this.

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When I was going through it, at
the worst part, at the worst

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point, it was like shoving me
down into a pit I was trying to

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climb out of.
And since I know the Scriptures,

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it is something he has condemned
in some of the strongest ways.

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And so I was like, it cannot be
who I am to have been condemned

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so badly because God is not so
cruel as to give someone a

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challenge that cannot be
overcome and then punish them

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for it.
That's ridiculous.

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And so I had a mantra of things
that I would say that we're

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doctrinally.
So I, I, the obstacle was that

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there were things in the world
that people at church were

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validating and verifying that
were making it hard for me to

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surrender to the Lord and his
pattern.

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And I overcame that by getting
back into His word and also

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spending a lot of time with them
in prayer and and directly

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communicating with him and
learning from Him and and

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accepting more of his his love
and healing.

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Yeah, You know, and and you this
this surrender thing, it

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typically isn't popular.
You said something that I found

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really interesting right there.
You said that there were people

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at church who were kind of
telling you to surrender the

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other direction.
Most of the people at church.

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When the.
Topic would come up, most people

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would and they would act like
there's something judgmental

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about wanting to repent of it
not.

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And the other thing that's been
concerning to me is seeing

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marriages that have broken up
because they're like, well, I

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have this, you know, I literally
heard this conversation.

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Well, she's he's leaving her
because he has same sex

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attraction and it's not fair to
her.

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Oh, but it's better to leave her
and her your children.

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It's better to break up the
marriage.

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If this was a heterosexual
situation, all things being

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equal, he's not being heroic.
He's not being heroic.

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He's giving up the fight and
he's not choosing to come unto

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Christ.
I especially people who've been

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through the temple and have made
a covenant of consecration.

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That means your sexuality too.
It means everything.

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It means your whole being,
everything you are, everything

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you have, everything about your
life, your entire will, all your

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desires and dreams.
They have to belong to the Lord.

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Yep, you, you know, I it with,
with people that that are the

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closest to you that you think
should kind of have your back

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like no, no, no, don't go that
way.

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Go his direction.
That's that's better to go his

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direction.
It's interesting because we even

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see that in the scriptures,
right?

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When, when, when you said that,
the first thought that popped

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into my my mind was Job, right?
Job's at his lowest point and

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his Bros are like just cursed
dog God and die.

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Would you?
I mean like just.

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It's over for you, dude.
Yeah.

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Just just call her good, right?
I mean, like, you've been

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through a lot and and job has
that tenacity, right?

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And I think that's it's such a
weird thing, right?

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Because it's almost if, if if
you're gonna.

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Now it's the opposite of
tenacity though, because it is a

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surrender.
It is, but you have to guard

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that surrender with a.
It's a weird concept.

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I get what you're saying, yeah.
You, you, you.

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You have to be stubborn.
Yeah, you have to be stubborn.

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You're, you're gonna have to be
stubborn with the world

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sometimes in order to submit to
God.

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It's just, it's strange and it's
beautiful all at once.

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It's a beautiful mystery, right?
How's this all work?

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But, but there is a certain
amount of that where you're

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going to have to, to just say,
you know what, people aren't

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going to understand.
And that's OK.

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And, and I've had, I've had to
go through that, right?

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I, you know, I'm a pretty jovial
guy by nature, right?

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And so when, when, when people
who who aren't necessarily from

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my faith tradition or, or what
not find out that, you know,

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he's a fundamentalist and he
does this podcast and they're

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like, wow, I didn't think, I
didn't think you were that guy.

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And I was like, well, I'm whole
person, right?

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Like there, there's parts we
talked about and there's parts

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that that I hold sacred and dear
that that I borrowed a little

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bit, right?
But yeah, we you, this road of

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submission is not for the faint
of heart.

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This there is, there's A and,
and the two words aren't

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necessarily synonymous, but
there's a certain strength that

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you have to have in order to
submit to the Lord.

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Never once did I look at Jesus
and think he was weak when he

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said those words in the garden.
And for whatever reason, when we

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start talking about submitting
to the Lord, especially, I think

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for dudes, right?
I think his guys were we're all,

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you know, we're going to make it
bend to our will, right?

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And then all of a sudden we're
put in this place where it's

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like, well, that this isn't
working out great.

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And now we have to get to a
point to where we're willing to

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bow the knee a little bit and,
and just submit to whatever it

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is he wants.
So let me ask you this.

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How do we overcome this this
apprehension to submit?

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Well, as I said earlier, getting
into the scripture and, and

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00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,960
being able to recognize because
to, for me, the hardest points

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of submission are my
preconceived ideas of what I

225
00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:28,080
thought the Lord's will should
be for me or would be for me.

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00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:31,400
And so getting back into
scripture and, and going, oh,

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00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:35,240
this thing that I thought was
absolutely, you know, part of

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00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,080
the gospel is actually not part
of the gospel.

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In fact, it's the opposite, you
know, and so that's an important

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00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,440
thing is getting back to the
Lord and, and into his word, but

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also building your faith by
looking back at the ways the

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Lord's always come through.
Like that's, that's been a

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00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:59,400
really key factor for me at
times when submission required,

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00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:05,240
especially things to become
insecure for me, having to let

235
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,520
go of things that made my life
feel secure.

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00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:13,320
I had to lean in to OK Heavenly
Father's always been there for

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00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,040
me.
He's always come through for me.

238
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,920
I've always been OK.
I haven't always gotten what I

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00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,480
wanted, but I've always been OK
and usually better.

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00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:25,800
And so then I can lean into that
and just say, OK, you know, he's

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00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:30,360
always been there for me.
And I think also studying Isaiah

242
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:34,600
is a really good help too,
because the constant, the

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00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,680
constant reminder in Isaiah is
trust in the Lord.

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00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,440
You will be OK, trust in
anything or anyone else and you

245
00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:46,200
won't.
And it's it's really even

246
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,920
specifically, I'm going to get
right through the goals for

247
00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:53,080
this.
But he specifically warns that

248
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:58,280
the leaders in our day will not
have the ability to lead us,

249
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:04,320
that they will be it.
It calls drunken and it it's not

250
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,840
talking about being chemically
drunk.

251
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:15,480
It's talking about not being
awake and aware to what's going

252
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:22,160
on because they are.
So they're so wrapped up in

253
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,680
their own philosophies, their
own education, their own

254
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:31,040
accolades, the the approval and
the the patting on the back and

255
00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,760
all those other kinds of anyway,
Scripture actually warns that in

256
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,320
the last days we cannot follow
our leaders.

257
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:44,400
And that is going to require a
very special degree of

258
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:49,400
consecration to be able to
listen to the Lord and even be

259
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:54,800
disapproved of by those who we
believe would always support us

260
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,960
in doing the Lord's will.
Yeah.

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00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,800
So a couple things here.
I, I want to come back to that,

262
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:06,040
but one of the things that, that
you talked about right there

263
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:11,560
that, that I find it is pretty
helpful in this, is this idea of

264
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:15,040
letting go of our preconceived
notions, right?

265
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:22,720
We as Mormons, we're really good
at making checklists, right?

266
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,839
Like almost.
Preparedness, right?

267
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:29,120
It's part of the gospel, except
for it's not.

268
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,520
It is when the Lord says to and
it's not when He says not to.

269
00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:35,640
That's actually you.
And I have talked about this a

270
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,600
little bit, one of my big
challenges.

271
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,680
I'm sorry I interrupted you all
that you finished, but you're

272
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,400
good.
You're good.

273
00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,400
Go ahead.
Go ahead.

274
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:47,000
But but yeah, that was because
and, and you and I talked a

275
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,320
minute ago about the story of
Moses and it's interesting, you

276
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,360
know, they go into the
wilderness and the Lord is

277
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:56,320
providing for them on a daily
basis, except for on Saturday

278
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,200
where he really shows some
amazing power 'cause there's you

279
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:04,800
cannot call it natural normal
law that this manna appears.

280
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,840
And if they take too much one
day, it goes bad the next day.

281
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:14,200
But if they take extra on to
prepare for the Sabbath, it's

282
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,520
fine.
They take enough extra that they

283
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,760
don't have to lean on the
Sabbath and it's fine.

284
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:24,160
So the Lord is showing them over
and over, Not only am I going to

285
00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:28,280
provide for you daily, but it
will be miraculous.

286
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,800
And you might not be able to
comprehend or understand it, but

287
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:36,680
I have a way prepared, right?
And so like that, that dynamic

288
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:41,200
of but they got into that
mindset by being in Egypt.

289
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,360
And how did Egypt become a place
where they stored their food?

290
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:52,520
Joseph, who was led by God.
So I'm not saying we should

291
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,520
never prepare anything like
that, but I'm saying we need to

292
00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:01,440
be listening to the Lord's voice
so that we know His direct will

293
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,840
for us in the moment.
Because there are standards and

294
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:09,320
laws that never change, but
there are policies and

295
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:13,200
procedures that are different
according to the the time of

296
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,280
life that the Lord has put you
in.

297
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,800
Yep, absolutely.
You know, this is a little bit

298
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,760
of doctrine you will not get
anywhere else.

299
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,120
I am convinced that mana was
brisket and steak.

300
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:29,040
I I'm just kidding.
I know, I know, I know.

301
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:33,080
You're kidding.
It wasn't really little pebbles

302
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,800
that are things that fell on the
ground.

303
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:38,640
It was it was the cows going by.
Yeah, it was, it was steak.

304
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,400
It was steak and brisket.
That's what it was.

305
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,880
Anyway, going, going back to
these preconceived notions we

306
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,560
have again as Mormons really
good with checklists, right?

307
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,120
Not just in, in, in the we.
Forget that we rely on the arm

308
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,280
of flesh too much when we rely
on that.

309
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,120
Well, yeah, and we almost become
pharisitical in some ways,

310
00:19:59,120 --> 00:19:59,960
right?
Where?

311
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,720
Not almost, we do.
You, you have these things that

312
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,600
are just kind of culturally
expected as a Mormon, right?

313
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,760
You're going to get, you're
going to be born, you're going

314
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,200
to get your baby's blessing and
then you're going to get

315
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,200
baptized at 8:00.
And then you're going to go, if

316
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,240
you're a young man, you're going
to go through all the erotic

317
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,520
priesthood levels.
And if you're a woman, you're

318
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,960
going to go through all your
classes and then you're going to

319
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,000
earn that medal.
And then as you're going to go

320
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,680
on a mission and then you're
going to go come home and you're

321
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,360
going to get married and you're
going to go BYU and you're going

322
00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:33,920
to get all this.
And then you're going to work

323
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,560
the plan and you're going to
send through elders quorum into,

324
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:41,120
you know, a, a leadership
callings and and it's all laid

325
00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,320
out, right?
And you're just hitting those

326
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,520
checklists, right.
And that's good in in some

327
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,560
aspects, because that keeps you
kind of focused, right?

328
00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,600
It gives you a goal.
You're you're aiming for stuff.

329
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:56,160
The problem is, is that what
I've noticed is, is that culture

330
00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,080
will will dictate sometimes that
no, no, no, we, you know what?

331
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,960
I know there's this other voice
out here telling me that that

332
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,600
there's something more, but I
got to work the checklist.

333
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,120
I just got to work the
checklist.

334
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:12,680
Now the, the outgrowth of that
is that it feels like your life

335
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,960
is completely planned, right.
A-Z.

336
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,960
You've got all your steps in
there.

337
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,520
The problem with that is that
that leaves no room for the Lord

338
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,400
to come in and be like, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

339
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,200
I got something else for you to
do, right?

340
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:32,000
And guess what, this checklist
that you've got going, that's

341
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,240
nothing to do with my plan.
Right.

342
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,760
Exactly.
And so then we find ourselves in

343
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,400
this place where it's like,
well, life's not going to look

344
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:43,200
like anything like like I
thought it was right.

345
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:48,280
And as human beings, when when
something's not part of the

346
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:53,360
plan, it freaks us out, right?
Part of our plan.

347
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,800
I, I can't believe people listen
to this podcast.

348
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,760
I'm about to reference a Batman
movie, but there's a, there's

349
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,480
Batman movie that that has the
Joker come in and he says

350
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,200
something I think is pretty
profound.

351
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:08,800
He says, you know, if if you
read about a soldier dying over

352
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,400
in a foreign country fighting,
well, that doesn't really freak

353
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,960
us out.
But if we hear about somebody

354
00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,920
dying at home from something
that we deem really tragic,

355
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,680
well, all of a sudden people
lose their minds, right?

356
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,560
And he's right.
And, and, and I had to sit there

357
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,320
and think about that.
I'm like, why is that?

358
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:29,400
Well, that's because it's not
part of the plan, right?

359
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,760
And if it's not part of the
plan, it now should.

360
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,160
Yeah.
But the folks are dying is part

361
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,840
of our plan though.
Well, we.

362
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,600
Kind of things, you know.
But yeah, but we kind of expect

363
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,680
it, right?
I mean, we know that's an

364
00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,600
inherent risk of.
Soldier, Soldier.

365
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,160
Right.
Exactly.

366
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:53,320
But but again, we, we, we fail
when, when that, when that gets

367
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,000
blown up, that preconceived
notion gets blown up.

368
00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,640
Well, now all bets are off,
right?

369
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,280
We don't feel secure.
We don't feel like we're we're

370
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,560
where we're supposed to be.
We feel like we.

371
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,560
Wonder if God is there?
We wonder if we've done

372
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,320
something wrong sometimes, and
that's not a bad thing either,

373
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,120
right?
To do a little introspection and

374
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,680
say, have I misstep somewhere?
Right.

375
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:19,560
So, so those are all good, but
when, when we get to that point

376
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:25,800
where it's not going to plan,
that's where submission gets

377
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:32,480
kind of dicey because now all of
the sudden we have to, we have

378
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,880
to basically it's like Jesus
take the wheel, right?

379
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:42,600
Because now all bets are off And
and sometimes the only way to

380
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:47,800
get out of that feeling is just
to submit, just to let it go.

381
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,200
It's true.
And I think one of the things

382
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:56,000
that we face with that is as a
society, and we include this in

383
00:23:56,000 --> 00:24:01,440
the church, we act as if we
should be able to control

384
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:05,680
everything.
And if we aren't, then we're

385
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,800
irresponsible.
Yeah.

386
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,880
When I look at Scripture, it's
pretty clear that we're not even

387
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:18,840
supposed to control everything.
We're supposed to obey like

388
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:21,640
that.
That's the bottom line.

389
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:27,240
We're we are to obey.
And I guess one of the ways in

390
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:33,440
my life that that always comes
back up as the strongest lesson

391
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:39,480
would be we got married young,
young in the world.

392
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,480
Even back then.
It was young for the world.

393
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:46,320
It wasn't as young as it seems
now for the world, but but it

394
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,560
was young for me.
It was older.

395
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,200
My older sisters have gotten
married a year to a year and a

396
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,320
half sooner than than me, you
know, in their age, in their

397
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,960
timelines.
But and then we had kids right

398
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,920
away.
And you know, you wouldn't

399
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,040
believe the amount of people who
have treated us like we were

400
00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:10,720
irresponsible for not using
birth control and not spacing

401
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,320
them out.
And we had five kids in six

402
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:18,120
years and it wasn't easy.
It was sometimes terrifying,

403
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:22,960
'cause it was like, OK, how are
we gonna take care of another

404
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,400
child now?
How are we, you know?

405
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:28,800
But but the way we and we didn't
approach it, like, Oh well, we

406
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,560
will do nothing and the Lord
will provide.

407
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,520
It was OK.
We are willing to do what we

408
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:37,560
need to do and the Lord will
provide because we are willing.

409
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,280
Willing.
That's the key.

410
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,160
Willing.
And so it was, you know, cuz

411
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,040
people say things like, oh, they
had too many kids.

412
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:48,880
No, I, that's not true.
Nobody has too many kids.

413
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:54,640
Sometimes people don't recognize
that they need to be willing to

414
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,600
do whatever it takes and they
need to be taking that

415
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,920
responsibility.
And also, I think as neighbors,

416
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:03,600
friends, and communities,
instead of judging people for

417
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:08,320
accepting children into their
lives to take care of if they

418
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:12,720
get into a place where they are
in a season of not being able to

419
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:18,160
manage, we need to step in to be
helpful instead of judge them or

420
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,560
taking their kids away from them
for no other reason but that

421
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,200
they're in a financial
difficulty and can't care for

422
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:28,040
the children themselves.
Like we need to step in with an

423
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,480
attitude of how can I help?
Because that is part of us

424
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,040
surrendering and submitting to
the Lord's will too.

425
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:38,640
Yep, absolutely.
I got a couple stories on this.

426
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,680
So me and me and Amber got
married way young.

427
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:47,000
I was, I was 18, Amber was was
19.

428
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,000
I mean we were we were way
young.

429
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,080
Now I was a little more mature
for an 18 year old than most

430
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:55,320
because my old man passed away.
I was the oldest.

431
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,560
And so that'll.
Grow up fast.

432
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,440
Yeah, I grew up pretty quick,
right?

433
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,320
But nonetheless, I was still
young, right?

434
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:09,240
And I remember about, oh, I want
to say it was six or seven

435
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:14,480
months later, we, we found out
we were expecting our first

436
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,440
child.
It was my, my oldest boy.

437
00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:21,240
And we were working that
checklist, Liz.

438
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:23,800
I mean, we were working that
checklist like nobody's

439
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,800
business.
We were, we were going to

440
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,480
church.
We, we were fulfilling our

441
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:31,000
callings.
We were paying our tithing with

442
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,080
one goal, one goal.
So when we got married, I hadn't

443
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,200
been a member of the church
quite a year.

444
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,360
So there's that policy that you
can't go through the temple

445
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:41,640
until you've been a member a
year, right.

446
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,400
But I talked to the Bishop and
the Bishop was like, you know

447
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:46,840
what, let me make a few phone
calls.

448
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,000
And he tried, He tried hard.
He said, you know what, as soon

449
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,160
as you hit your year mark, we're
going to get you through.

450
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,320
So, so your son can be born in
the covenant.

451
00:27:55,920 --> 00:28:03,280
And we had we were like a week
away from going to the temple.

452
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,160
We had made the appointments, we
had the recommend sign.

453
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,480
They signed them a little early
for us so we could make the

454
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:14,640
appointments, bought our bought
our clothing and everything

455
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:18,280
right.
We were ready we were set well a

456
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,920
week before we were supposed to
go through Amber's grandfather

457
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,640
dies.
So we, you know, we're like, OK,

458
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,000
well, let's push it back a week.
So we call, we, we push it back

459
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,040
a week.
And then we, we go to Washington

460
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,480
state.
And at this point Amber's like,

461
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:37,040
I want to say she's seven months
pregnant, getting close to 8.

462
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:42,000
And we, we go to Washington.
We, we have the funeral and

463
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,200
we're getting ready to leave.
And Amber's mom says, Hey,

464
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,280
there's stuff here.
I got to stick around with my

465
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,280
brothers and sisters for, for
another week.

466
00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:53,040
Can we push the, the the your
temples endowment and ceiling

467
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,320
back one more week?
Now I'm getting a little antsy

468
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,120
now, right?
I'm getting a little irritated,

469
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:03,240
you know, but I'm like, no, no,
the you know, we're we're good.

470
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:04,640
We'll push it back one more
week.

471
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:10,680
So we push it back a week and
the week we were supposed to go

472
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:15,480
through on a Friday, Wednesday,
Amber starts having early labor.

473
00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:26,600
And Amber's OB was LDS as well.
And so they, they stop labor and

474
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,280
they say, but she's flat on her
back.

475
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,040
She can't do anything.
And so I, I pulled the doctor

476
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,000
off to the side because you
know, you can see the old

477
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,200
celestial smile underneath his
white shirt.

478
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,520
And I'm like, yeah, that dude
knows.

479
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,480
That dude knows, right?
And I'm like, hey, here's the

480
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:42,840
thing.
And I explained to him the

481
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,400
situation.
He's like, look, I would love to

482
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:51,800
tell you to go, but I know from
going many times that there is a

483
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:56,200
good chance that just that
experience alone will.

484
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,160
Put her in labor.
Will put her back into labor so

485
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:04,160
I'm going to tell you you need
to wait and I'm I'm irritated

486
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,680
I'm mad right now I'm like right
and I'm like I'm doing.

487
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,240
My part God.
Yes, that's what it is.

488
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,680
I'm like, I'm doing all the crap
you wanted me to do, right?

489
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:16,280
Like.
I mean, you say yeah, but I

490
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:20,200
didn't say.
That right, not what I said.

491
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:25,720
We we, we managed to hold off
labor for about another month.

492
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:30,320
And so about the 8th, you know,
the 8th month, there's just no

493
00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:31,960
stopping it.
It's go time, right?

494
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,880
Yeah.
And so we we and I'm sorry for

495
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,760
the drawn out story here.
This is going somewhere.

496
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,240
Oh, I'm famous for drawn out
story, so I'm good.

497
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:48,760
So the, the, the time comes, we,
the amber goes into labor, we

498
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:52,280
have the baby and everything
looks great for the 1st 10

499
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,800
minutes, right?
Everything's fine.

500
00:30:55,480 --> 00:31:01,320
And they're, they're starting to
get amber kind of cleaned up

501
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:06,720
and, and you know, the, the post
birth, you know, baths and all

502
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,160
that other stuff.
And while they're doing that,

503
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,000
I'm like, I'm going to go check
on my son, right?

504
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:15,040
I'm just ecstatic.
And I am walking down towards

505
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:20,040
the nursery and a nurse comes
out and she's like, oh, good,

506
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:21,680
you're here.
I'm like, what?

507
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,560
And she's like, your son's
having a horrible time

508
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,640
breathing.
And I'm like, what?

509
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:32,680
And so I go in and I'm, you
know, I'm like, can I give a

510
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,000
blessing to him?
And she's like, yeah, go ahead.

511
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,440
And and how I'm new in the
gospel still, right?

512
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:42,040
I'm just under a year.
And so like I've got the old

513
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,640
priesthood manual out.
Like, OK, I say that.

514
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,120
I say that.
I say, OK, here we go.

515
00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:49,320
Right.
And so I do that.

516
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,040
And then right after that, the
the nurse and the doctor come

517
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,080
back in.
They're like, yeah, we we were

518
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,440
in Caldwell, ID, which is about
30 miles from Boise.

519
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,960
But that little hospital there
couldn't do what needed to be

520
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,040
done.
So they're like, we're going to

521
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:10,760
have to move your son to Boise.
And I'm like, and at that point,

522
00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,960
again, as a new dad, not knowing
what to expect, there's nobody

523
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,840
else at the hospital.
My, my heart hits my gut because

524
00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:25,480
Amber's mom's already gone home.
And I'm like, OK, I got to go

525
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,880
talk to Amber.
So I turn around and literally

526
00:32:28,880 --> 00:32:31,280
as I turn around, another nurse
comes out of Amber's room

527
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,800
jogging and he's and she's like,
your wife just passed out.

528
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:41,360
And so I like rush back.
What's that?

529
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,360
So.
You've got two that are

530
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:47,080
incredible.
So I, I rush back in and Amber's

531
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,560
starting to come too, and they
take her vitals.

532
00:32:49,560 --> 00:32:51,800
Once they get her laid back
down, they're like, OK, she's

533
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:55,000
just, we think she's just
exhausted, right?

534
00:32:55,400 --> 00:33:01,800
And I I'm now in this place of
what do I do, right?

535
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,360
Do I stay with my wife?
Do I go with my son?

536
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:07,160
What do I do?
And now I'm flat pissed at God.

537
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,840
This is we're past mild
annoyances, right?

538
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,160
We're except the scriptures
don't say that when we do it.

539
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,320
He says he's going to make it
easy.

540
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,840
Yes, well.
We all think it.

541
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:24,240
Right.
Well, fortunately, Amber's mom,

542
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:27,120
Amber says just go with Tyler.
Who is my son?

543
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,480
Just go with Tyler, follow
Tyler.

544
00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,880
I'll be fine.
I'll call my mom and cuz this is

545
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,960
kind of before cell phones.
I mean, cell phones are around,

546
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,680
but they're not ubiquitous like
they are now, right?

547
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,360
She said just go.
I'll leave a message on my mom's

548
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,760
answering machine.
She can turn around, come back.

549
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:48,520
So I was like, OK, so, but
fortunately I see her, her

550
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,320
Amber's mom at a gas station
filling up and I swing in and

551
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,360
say, you got to go back.
This is what's going on.

552
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,880
I'm gone.
So that was that was a blessing.

553
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:03,360
But I remember the drive to
Boise, it was rainy, it was

554
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:07,520
nasty.
And I'm not well, that's not

555
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,239
true.
I was tailgating that that

556
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,000
ambulance, I mean, I was right
there.

557
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,800
I was like, we're we're going to
put the hammer down and we're

558
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,040
going to, we're going to be
close.

559
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,840
Yeah, there is no way he's going
to get too far ahead of you.

560
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:22,920
But I will never forget that
drive because imparting

561
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,400
expression when, when I got in
the car, I remember saying the

562
00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,679
words out loud as I looked up
upward.

563
00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,239
We got some shit.
We got work out right?

564
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:32,960
You and me.
We're we're going to, we're

565
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,080
going to get to the bottom of
this right now.

566
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,760
And there was a lot of yelling
in that car.

567
00:34:39,679 --> 00:34:45,280
And we, we get, Yep, we get to
the hospital.

568
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:50,679
Tyler gets, gets, you know, into
the NICU.

569
00:34:50,679 --> 00:34:53,800
He, he gets put on oxygen.
Things seem to be calm.

570
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:58,200
And at this point I've just, I'm
spent, I'm done.

571
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:00,880
I've had it.
And so I go this little Chapel

572
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,960
in Saint Luke's Hospital.
It's kind of a non

573
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:07,640
denominational little Chapel.
And I go in there and we're

574
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,320
having it out again.
I'm like, I've done all the crap

575
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:15,600
you've told me to do.
I have have given up friends, I

576
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,560
have given up family.
I am willing to wear stupid

577
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,520
underwear.
I'm willing to pay a tenth of my

578
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:27,520
of my my income.
I go to church for three hours a

579
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,800
day.
What do you want?

580
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,640
What do you want?
Your heart.

581
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,360
Yes, that was the answer, right?
I want.

582
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:41,040
Your heart and I be still and
know that I am God.

583
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,680
And I want you to trust me
because I'm going to make this

584
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:44,080
work.
It's.

585
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:48,760
Going to be OK right and and
that was the message, right and

586
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:54,120
so this idea of surrender does
not come without heartache I

587
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:54,640
hate to.
Break.

588
00:35:55,520 --> 00:36:00,480
And I think you just touched on
a really key point it the

589
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:06,000
ability to surrender comes with
remembering who he is.

590
00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:09,480
Yeah.
Remembering that he is good,

591
00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:16,240
that he is just and he is
merciful and he is going to make

592
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:20,000
it work out.
And it's kind of like, you know,

593
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,800
I don't know if you've had
children with owies, especially

594
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,400
if it was like an Abscess or
something that needed to be

595
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:32,240
lanced or, or whatever.
And, and they're screaming at

596
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:37,600
you because it hurts and, and
they don't know.

597
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:39,600
They don't get it at that
moment.

598
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:44,480
They do not understand that
first of all, you don't want to

599
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,960
be doing it.
The last thing you want to do as

600
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,160
a parent is cause pain to your
children.

601
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,520
And the only reason you do it is
to prevent something far worse,

602
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,800
right?
Because it's that hard.

603
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,880
It's that bad.
It, I can't think of anything

604
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:03,160
harder than I've ever done in my
life than things that I've had

605
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:08,840
to do that 'cause my children
pain or cause them to hate me or

606
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:13,440
they're good.
It's for me, it's one of the

607
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:16,400
ultimate sacrifices.
And I think, and I think God

608
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,880
likes us to be parents because
it helps us to understand him

609
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,200
better too.
Absolutely.

610
00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:27,480
So that when he's doing surgery
on our lives, but I, and I do

611
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:30,720
think so some people say that
he's so self existing that he

612
00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:35,520
doesn't have pain or whatever,
but I think he does.

613
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,840
I, I don't think he could care
about us and not have pain.

614
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:43,880
I think it hurts if you hurt him
or for us to get into those

615
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:47,600
Pickles and not trust him and
forget who he is and act like

616
00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,920
there's something like he's
betrayed us.

617
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,120
Because that means he's someone
who can betray and who will

618
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:57,640
betray and who who, instead of
being loving and merciful and

619
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,160
trying to do things for our
good, is some kind of

620
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,960
Machiavellian beast, you know?
And so I think it does hurt him

621
00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:06,480
when we don't remember who he
is.

622
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:09,920
And I have a personal experience
about that where, you know, I

623
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,680
experienced some things in my
life where it was extremely

624
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,000
painful that people that were
near and dear to me, who've

625
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,880
known me enough of my life, they
should have known better,

626
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:23,080
believed things about me that
were not true, that they should

627
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,960
have known were not true, or at
least come and talk to me about

628
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,720
because they should have been
like, this doesn't match up with

629
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:32,320
what I know, you know, And it
was extremely hurtful.

630
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:37,880
And when I went to the Lord and
my heartache, he pointed out to

631
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,920
me, this is what you've done to
me.

632
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:46,520
And it was because I had a
personal relationship with Him,

633
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,200
experiences that I'd had with
Him, ways that He had healed me

634
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:54,280
and helped me.
I know I'm going to get crap for

635
00:38:54,280 --> 00:39:00,080
this too, but it was a
priesthood leader who caused me

636
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:04,280
to doubt God's ability to heal
me in my life or even His

637
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:10,160
willingness to do so because of
the way they talked about.

638
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:15,360
They really negated the power of
God to to help and heal and

639
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:20,160
really emphasized philosophies
of men that I couldn't go with

640
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:25,040
because I knew the scriptures.
And I was like, I in this time,

641
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,560
I felt trapped because I was
like, well, I know that I

642
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,360
shouldn't go with this
philosophy of man and their

643
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:36,600
answers for me because I know
scripture and I've had this

644
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:40,560
healing experience.
But yet I let that priesthood

645
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:47,760
holder interrupt my relationship
with God and basically create an

646
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:54,080
unnecessary checklist that I and
in that that was really what the

647
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:58,000
Lord said is this is what you've
done to me what you're

648
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:01,400
experiencing right now.
And with people believing things

649
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,800
about you, they're not true
things, people having a personal

650
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:08,160
relationship with you and
letting a third party tell them

651
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,960
how to think about you and feel
about you.

652
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:13,600
And and that was, and, and
that's kind of one of those

653
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:18,440
things that we, that is at the
heart for me is totally at the

654
00:40:18,440 --> 00:40:21,560
heart of being able to surrender
to God is that I need to

655
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,760
remember who he is.
I need to be loyal to him.

656
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,240
That's part of being loyal to
him is that I won't forget who

657
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,880
that it's like a promise.
Lord, I will not forget who you

658
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,080
are when I can't see what's
going on.

659
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,880
You know, when it feels like
you're just putting me through

660
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:41,600
torture for some craziness, I'm
going to remember that you're

661
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:45,400
not crazy and that, that I am
right, right.

662
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:48,680
I can be crazy.
People around me can be crazy.

663
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:53,880
God cannot be crazy.
So I, if I can and it's, I'm

664
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,560
not, I say it like with a laugh
and whatever, but it, it

665
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,600
sometimes is a real struggle.
And I, so one of the things that

666
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:06,560
I actually do is that I will
write down the, the things that

667
00:41:06,560 --> 00:41:09,760
I remember that he's done for
me, the things I remember he's

668
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,720
come through for me, scriptures
that testify of his goodness and

669
00:41:13,720 --> 00:41:17,000
his involvement in my life, all
those kind of things.

670
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:20,640
And so when I get into the crazy
place, because I can't see the

671
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,400
answers myself, I can go back
and I can read this concrete

672
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,600
list that helps me to anchor.
And, and it's not, it's not like

673
00:41:28,600 --> 00:41:31,120
when you write a personal
affirmation that's based on what

674
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:35,400
you want to be true.
It's based on things that I know

675
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:39,880
are true.
It's not me telling God, here's

676
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,880
my order to the universe of what
I want to happen.

677
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:47,880
It's me saying, I remember that
you are good, that you have a

678
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:50,640
plan.
I want to submit to this plan.

679
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,640
Will you help me do it?
Right, right, absolutely.

680
00:41:55,320 --> 00:42:01,800
You know, and there there are
benefits to surrender, right,

681
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:09,240
surrendering to the Lord.
I can I can think back to to one

682
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:15,160
occasion where I'm sorry, I'm
giving too many of my own

683
00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:20,600
stories here.
We were this was this was about

684
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,240
when when Tyler, my oldest was
about two or three.

685
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:28,240
It was around Christmas time and
it was definitely after

686
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:31,040
Thanksgiving because the the
malls were packed.

687
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:34,120
You know, everyone's out there
getting their, their shopping

688
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,520
done.
And I had decided that that

689
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,760
morning I get up and do a
session at the temple and then

690
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:43,280
just meet Amber and her mom at
the Boise town square.

691
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,840
We go do some shopping for
Christmas and, and that sort of

692
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,440
thing.
So I meet him there and I'm

693
00:42:49,440 --> 00:42:51,960
walking.
I'm walking towards the mall

694
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:55,200
with Amber and her mom.
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695
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,880
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00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:02,840
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00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:05,000
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700
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701
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,080
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702
00:43:22,080 --> 00:43:25,520
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Click the link in this episode's

703
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:30,200
show notes today.
So I meet him there and I'm

704
00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:33,840
walking, I'm walking towards the
mall with Amber and her mom.

705
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:40,360
And I passed this van.
And this van had tinted windows.

706
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:44,640
And but through the tinted
windows, I could see a guy just

707
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:48,560
kind of, you know, hunched over
with his head against the

708
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:53,760
window, sleeping.
And the craziest thought came,

709
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:59,560
which was go open the door.
I'm like, no, no, absolutely not

710
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,360
right.
And and I took.

711
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:05,640
Right next door to going up to
someone's house and opening the

712
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:06,400
door.
And that's like.

713
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,360
Yeah.
And so I take two more steps and

714
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:14,000
then the feeling hit in a way
that quite frankly has only hit

715
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,440
a few times in my life.
But it, it, it hit in such a way

716
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,960
that was almost like tunnel
vision, right?

717
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:24,880
Like I stop moving and I
remember my mother-in-law turned

718
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,880
around and looked at me and she
just said, are you OK?

719
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,800
And then all the sudden I'm
like, well, here we go.

720
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,120
This, this is probably a
carjacking, right?

721
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,760
Is what I'm thinking.
But I turn around and I open the

722
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:40,000
door.
And as I open this door, I mean,

723
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,360
this big guy, he's big now and
I'm big, right?

724
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,760
I'm somewhere between 6162.
I go about £300.

725
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,120
I'm not a small dude, right,
Right.

726
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:52,080
But this dude is massive.
And I open the door and as I

727
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:54,880
open the door, he starts to fall
out and I catch him.

728
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:59,520
And as I catch him and he kind
of unfolds, I look at his face

729
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,120
and his lips are blue and his
skin is white.

730
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,960
Welcome to find out he was
paralyzed, like just from here,

731
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,400
all the way down.
And if he slumped over because

732
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,640
he was a bigger guy, if he
slumped over in just the right

733
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:15,640
way, he couldn't breathe.
And it was his daughter that was

734
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,720
in the driver's seat.
And because he was turned away

735
00:45:18,720 --> 00:45:21,560
from her, she couldn't see what
was going on.

736
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:27,120
And so when I catch him, he he
just goes, it takes this great

737
00:45:27,120 --> 00:45:30,680
big breath again, right?
And he's looking at me like it's

738
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,720
kind of funny because I can only
imagine what this poor dude

739
00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,480
thought, right?
Like he goes to sleep and then

740
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:37,800
all of a sudden he.
Wakes up in some guy's arms.

741
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,320
Right.
I'm like, yeah, exactly right.

742
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,080
And his daughter looks over and
she looks at me first and her

743
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,280
eyes are about that big.
And I'm, you know, I remember

744
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,120
when her eyes were that big.
I was like, I hope she's not

745
00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:50,240
doesn't have a gun.
I mean, that was my first,

746
00:45:50,640 --> 00:45:52,600
right.
She's perfectly within her

747
00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:57,000
rights to shoot me.
But she looks at me and then she

748
00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:01,120
looks at her dad and and it
clicks right and she just dials

749
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:06,080
911 and I wait till the the the
ambulance gets there and then

750
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,320
I'm just like gone right.
I'm like, Get Me Out of here.

751
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:09,680
This is too real for me.
I'm.

752
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,360
Crazy.
I'm out, right, But I think

753
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,000
we're coming into the time and
you alluded to this here a few

754
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,560
minutes ago with with you're,
you're not going to be able to

755
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,880
trust anybody but the Lord right
now.

756
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,840
Sometimes in this act of
submission, he's going to ask

757
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:30,680
you to do crazy things, things
that seem so counterintuitive

758
00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:34,520
that you're going to swear it
just can't be right.

759
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:39,160
But we're coming into sometimes
that we had better be two

760
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:41,720
things.
First, really familiar with the

761
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:46,360
language of the spirit so that
if the spirit says stop, turn

762
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:51,760
around and go back or stop what
you're doing and leave, whatever

763
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:55,640
it is, you better be comfortable
with that because time's getting

764
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,440
short and, and I feel like
that's going to be needed.

765
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,240
The other thing is you better be
real comfortable with submitting

766
00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:04,200
to that.
You better get to a point that,

767
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,360
that, and I'm not great at it,
right?

768
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:07,920
I want to get that out of like
you, right?

769
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:12,000
Like, I am not a pro at this,
but we we all better get to that

770
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,600
point to where we're real
comfortable with just submitting

771
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,920
to whatever it is the Lord is
telling us through a spirit,

772
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,880
through other inspiration.
We got to get that to that point

773
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,240
because I think that's where the
blessings start to flow.

774
00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,280
Yeah.
You know, I think for me,

775
00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:33,440
homeschooling and a couple other
life choices while having kids

776
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:38,120
right away and those kind of
things have been training wheels

777
00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,880
because those are things that so
you're not eating.

778
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:47,920
There was not as much support
for it then as there is now, and

779
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:50,200
there's still not that much
support for it now, in my

780
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:53,000
opinion.
Not not overall, You know,

781
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,960
you'll find more support now
than you would before, but just

782
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:04,440
learning to be OK with doing
things that are different and

783
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,200
being able to trust the answers
you get that are not what

784
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:10,760
somebody else gets.
Like I have no problem accepting

785
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:14,920
that there are other people who
the Lord did not tell them to

786
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,280
homeschool.
Yeah.

787
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:21,040
That's fine, I can accept that
and I can accept that your

788
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:25,280
answers are different than mine,
you know, and so many other

789
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:30,440
things too.
But I think those things were

790
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:33,080
good training.
It is different now.

791
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:40,360
I feel like 2020 and the
closures and everything and the

792
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:46,520
hyper regulation of things, we
took things to a whole nother

793
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:51,520
level.
People became extremely unkind,

794
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:57,200
you know, about people who
received different answers than

795
00:48:57,200 --> 00:49:03,800
them and, and took a lot of
license with it instead of just,

796
00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:06,600
you know, we're disagreeing with
each other.

797
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:12,080
It was like I'm virtuous for
being mean to you because you

798
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:15,400
didn't follow what I thought was
the right thing to do.

799
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,160
But it's there's a it's a new
level when it's I think I'm

800
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:24,200
virtuous for doing this to you.
And so that was another training

801
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:28,280
wheels for me, especially when
it came from people in my life

802
00:49:28,280 --> 00:49:34,480
who I thought would always
support me following the Lord.

803
00:49:35,720 --> 00:49:39,320
And so that was that was the
next level.

804
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,560
And I think we're just going to
have more and more of that where

805
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:47,920
we have to be able to know the
voice of the Lord and follow it.

806
00:49:48,240 --> 00:49:50,400
Let the chips fall where they
may.

807
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:55,240
Yeah, yeah.
You know, the other thing that I

808
00:49:55,240 --> 00:49:58,880
think it's going to require is
we got to stop caring what other

809
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:00,440
people think.
Right.

810
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:06,520
We we have to get to a point.
It has to be just us and God.

811
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:11,720
Yeah, and, and, and this I can
speak to a little bit now from

812
00:50:11,720 --> 00:50:16,160
personal experience doing this,
what we're doing right here.

813
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,040
I shouldn't, I shouldn't be the
guy doing this, right?

814
00:50:19,040 --> 00:50:22,560
I'm, I'm the, this is the last
thing that should have ever been

815
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,240
on my radar.
And I remember there were a lot

816
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:28,720
of things I thought about,
right, Like, could this affect

817
00:50:28,720 --> 00:50:32,280
my job?
Yeah, absolutely, 100%.

818
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:36,240
Could this cause financial
difficulties?

819
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:39,520
Yeah, yeah.
One, one hundred, 100%.

820
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:45,960
But as you shake that off, right
and and you look up to heaven

821
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,320
and you say you got my back and
you get that affirm affirmation.

822
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,640
Yeah, Yeah, I got your back.
OK.

823
00:50:53,240 --> 00:50:57,000
Ask the rest aside.
Toss the rest aside.

824
00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:03,400
I think we have to approach this
idea of surrender because the

825
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:09,920
Lord's going to need people to
do his will, period, right.

826
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:14,240
In these last days.
That's going to be vital and

827
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:20,800
within reason.
Well, yeah, I'll, I'll say that.

828
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,040
No, let me back up and rephrase
that.

829
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:29,120
Within the bounds the Lord sets
for you, approach it with

830
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:33,680
reckless, abandoned.
Let it let it go.

831
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,480
I you know, I, I think of
Washington, right?

832
00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:40,160
Here's a guy who is massive for
his time.

833
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:45,000
He's 6 foot two athletic, he
rides a White Horse through

834
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:49,640
battle and he's known for just
going right with a reckless

835
00:51:49,640 --> 00:51:53,640
abandoned.
We have to approach our

836
00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,280
discipleship.
I think the very same way with a

837
00:51:56,600 --> 00:52:00,680
reckless, abandoned just if the
Lord commands you do right,

838
00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:05,760
right.
I also, I often think too that,

839
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,280
and this goes back to
perception, I think a little bit

840
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,640
So often when the Lord commands
us to do something, we spend way

841
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:17,920
too much time making a plan.
Yeah.

842
00:52:19,040 --> 00:52:23,440
And, and sometimes, sometimes
what the Lord is really waiting

843
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,560
on is for you to just do
something right, just do

844
00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,760
something and then.
Step in the right direction and

845
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,640
I'll multiply it.
Yeah, and then and then he'll

846
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:35,680
work.
I've seen it work in my own

847
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,480
life.
If you do something, OK, he can

848
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,520
work with that.
He can be like, OK, he's trying.

849
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,600
OK, that didn't work as well as
I'd like.

850
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:45,280
So you know what, Dave, this
time, try it this way.

851
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,680
And then things start to happen.
Things start to fall into place.

852
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:53,160
But you got to take that first
step and that first step in in

853
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,720
that submission process.
That's rough.

854
00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:01,280
That's rough.
Now, when someone asked me,

855
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:02,760
well, how did you get to that
point?

856
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,480
I honestly can't tell him.
I mean, I'm hoping you have

857
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:09,160
ideas, Liz, because to be
honest, I, you know, really, I

858
00:53:09,160 --> 00:53:12,280
think as far as this podcast
goes, the Lord kind of needed a

859
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:16,160
moron and he's like, I got just
the guy, but.

860
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:20,160
Right.
A little, a little more bravery

861
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,080
than brains.
Made moron renegade.

862
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:26,120
Podcast exactly the the dude's
got a little more bravery than

863
00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:26,960
brains.
This.

864
00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:30,960
I can work with this, but but
how do we get to that point to

865
00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:35,200
where to where we can just shed
stop caring about what the rest

866
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:40,040
of the world thinks?
So this is interesting.

867
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:44,400
This is something I had more
mastery over previous to the

868
00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:47,000
COVID stuff.
And I don't think that I lost

869
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:51,920
the mastery of it, but it it was
like next level because like I

870
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:57,960
said, people felt virtuous in
being unkind and even willing to

871
00:53:58,720 --> 00:54:01,520
infer that because you didn't
get the same answer they did,

872
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:06,400
you weren't listening to God.
I was like, whoa, there all

873
00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:10,040
those years when I homeschooled
and I got that answer and I, you

874
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:13,840
know, we had our kids one after
another and, and all these

875
00:54:13,880 --> 00:54:17,200
things that that we did that we
were willing to respect everyone

876
00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:18,960
else's right to receive
revelation.

877
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:23,400
And all of a sudden people were
like, you know, you're listening

878
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:28,200
to the wrong guy.
It was like it, I don't know,

879
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:31,080
even saying it now because it
doesn't affect me now the way it

880
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,840
did then.
It was really hard, but I have

881
00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:39,720
a, there was a, a, a statement I
learned in Al Anon, which is the

882
00:54:39,720 --> 00:54:42,880
12 step group for friends and
family of people who are

883
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:46,360
Alcoholics or addicts.
And there was this guy and he

884
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,440
used to just say it's none of my
business what anyone thinks of

885
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:51,440
me.
Oh, that's good.

886
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,320
It's none of my business.
And so sometimes that has to be

887
00:54:54,320 --> 00:54:58,760
a mantra like I when I start
worrying and I, and it's that

888
00:54:58,760 --> 00:55:02,280
that's the thing too, is when I,
when I realize that all of my

889
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:06,520
concerns with doing the Lord's
will are based on what other

890
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,920
people might think or say,
that's the point at which I go.

891
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:14,240
None of that matters.
These concerns are not real

892
00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:16,360
concerns.
I don't need to resolve those

893
00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:18,760
concerns.
I don't need to explain those

894
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:21,600
concerns.
I just need to shove them to the

895
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:25,520
side and say, is this the Lord's
will or not?

896
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:31,160
And that and that helps me to
go, OK, this is this is the

897
00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:33,760
Lord's will.
And then sometimes when I get an

898
00:55:33,760 --> 00:55:38,280
answer that is very much against
my preconceived ideas, it helps

899
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:44,080
me a lot to go through.
And I have a journal of things

900
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:48,000
that the Lord inspired me to do
and kind of how things turned

901
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,640
out right.
And so I compare.

902
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:55,400
OK, when I when I received this
inspiration, did it feel like

903
00:55:55,400 --> 00:56:00,920
the same source as when I got
this answer?

904
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,800
Right.
Did it feel like the same as

905
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:09,360
when it what is this?
What is this, What is this the

906
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:11,880
flavor?
I guess what is the flavor of

907
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:15,160
this message?
Is it does it align with

908
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:17,800
messages that I know were from
God in the past?

909
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:20,400
And one of the best ways to do
that too is to get into the

910
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:24,280
scriptures.
I feel like reading the

911
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:28,160
scriptures is the scriptures are
something that the Lord gave us

912
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:34,000
to help us to be able to tune in
our senses to know his voice

913
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:39,080
and, and to and actually open
that Channel to his voice by

914
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:43,280
studying because we know that
the Holy Ghost will bear witness

915
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:46,040
of the truth.
So when we're reading the truth,

916
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,600
we're inviting the spirit to be
with us.

917
00:56:49,920 --> 00:56:53,320
And so and that's what we need
in order to get clear.

918
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:56,760
And then once that answer and
then writing it down, that is

919
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,320
the key for me.
I have to write it down.

920
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:03,720
The more out outside of my
comfort zone and my preconceived

921
00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:09,880
ideas, something is I have got
to write it down because I can

922
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:13,800
really quickly talk myself out
of things like it wasn't really

923
00:57:13,800 --> 00:57:16,720
the spirit because it was really
this or whatever.

924
00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:19,560
I've got to write it down and I
have to write it down with as

925
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:22,880
much detail as possible.
And then usually I try to share

926
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,120
it with someone, someone who I
can trust.

927
00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:28,520
And I'll be like, I just, this
is the impression that I've had.

928
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,320
This is the direction that I'm
feeling because that way I can't

929
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:33,840
go back and deny it.
There's someone just saying,

930
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:35,520
wait a minute.
And I thought you said such and

931
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:37,720
such.
And I'll be like, Oh yeah,

932
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:40,400
you're right.
Yeah, having someone around to

933
00:57:40,400 --> 00:57:42,560
kind of hold your your feet to
the fire a little bit.

934
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,840
Yeah.
And you know, a lot of times

935
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:49,160
that can be our spouses, right.
That's that's the power in and

936
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:54,360
being equally yoked is that you
can share those things with your

937
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:59,320
spouse who hopefully is going to
love you and be committed enough

938
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:04,000
to life with God that that
they'll help you keep your

939
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:08,920
footing.
In the Lord's will, absolutely,

940
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:11,840
you know, you, you hit on
something with the COVID stuff,

941
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:16,880
right, which was kind of why
aren't you getting the same

942
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,160
message that I'm getting, so to
speak, right.

943
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:22,880
And I think I think that's
important too, because I think

944
00:58:22,880 --> 00:58:27,200
we have to start to, to
recognize that even though

945
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:31,160
someone gets a different answer
than we do, that doesn't mean

946
00:58:31,160 --> 00:58:35,640
that they're wrong right now.
There's certain things that that

947
00:58:35,640 --> 00:58:38,600
are kind of universal.
There are moral laws that are

948
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,200
right and wrong.
There are moral laws, the the

949
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,880
Book of Mormon is true, Joseph
was a prophet, that sort of

950
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:50,160
thing, right?
But on these finer issues, those

951
00:58:50,160 --> 00:58:54,720
are kind of going to be more
tailored to the person that

952
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:57,640
they're that the Lord is working
with.

953
00:58:58,080 --> 00:59:01,880
Right.
And that was my stance even with

954
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:06,480
the vaccine, right?
I was like, look, I don't

955
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:11,120
believe a blanket statement was
the way to go on that because

956
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:13,640
quite frankly, everybody's
system is a little bit

957
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:19,680
different, right?
And it wasn't, it wasn't created

958
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:22,080
fast.
It was just that all of the

959
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:26,200
safety testing was skipped.
Yeah, our entire population was

960
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,320
the test group.
That's ridiculous.

961
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:34,200
Yep.
And so to me, a more a more

962
00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:37,080
measured and probably quite
frankly a more appropriate

963
00:59:37,080 --> 00:59:39,360
answer would be you need to go
pray about this and get

964
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:42,200
revelation for yourself.
Right, which is actually the

965
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:45,880
real thing that was said.
And I The thing is people

966
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:50,280
conflated seeing the prophet
getting a shot with the prophets

967
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:54,520
telling me I need a shot.
And first of all, was he acting

968
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:59,640
as a prophet when he did that?
Well, what we know from

969
00:59:59,680 --> 01:00:04,880
scripture is that.
We are only held accountable for

970
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:10,560
heeding their words when the
Holy Ghost bears witness of it.

971
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:16,160
And people who call the church
office building about those kind

972
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:21,480
of things, when it came out,
we're told it was not considered

973
01:00:21,480 --> 01:00:26,120
prophetic counsel.
And one thing that was explained

974
01:00:26,120 --> 01:00:29,960
to me by someone who worked
within the church was they said

975
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,520
what people don't understand is
that there is a business side of

976
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:37,280
the church that is not inspired.
They are not called by

977
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:39,440
inspiration.
They are not set apart.

978
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:44,240
It is a business.
There are things that they are

979
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:50,600
like the human resources
department and just nuts and

980
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:53,960
bolts things that have to be
done because we're a worldwide

981
01:00:53,960 --> 01:00:58,120
organization and people have to
be paid to be in these positions

982
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:00,360
and they have to have training
and whatever.

983
01:01:00,640 --> 01:01:05,600
And it's not inspired.
And that's who is sending out

984
01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:11,880
the memos, the HR people.
And you know, if it's not signed

985
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,400
by the 1st Presidency and the
Quorum of the 12, it is not

986
01:01:15,480 --> 01:01:23,400
considered prophetic counsel.
And so but, but the but again,

987
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:26,760
we have this mentality where
people are like, oh, just follow

988
01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:30,200
blindly follow.
But God has never if you blindly

989
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:35,040
follow, even if they're, even if
they have a calling from God and

990
01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:39,440
you follow blindly without
checking in with God, you are

991
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:43,800
following a man.
You are leaning on the arm of

992
01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:49,680
flesh.
God has never called us to

993
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:56,560
blindly follow anyone.
Not Moses, not Joseph, not not

994
01:01:56,560 --> 01:02:00,360
anyone.
The Savior only has been the one

995
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:05,000
that was just follow me.
Every other person it has.

996
01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:10,200
We know whether it's prophetic
or not, based on the validation

997
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,160
of the Holy Ghost.
And we were.

998
01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:16,400
We've been invited for all of
the years of my life.

999
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:20,160
We've always been invited.
Don't take my word for it.

1000
01:02:20,160 --> 01:02:24,280
Don't take their word for it.
Find out from yourself, from the

1001
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:26,360
Lord.
Go to the Lord and find out for

1002
01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:31,920
yourself.
And President Nelson before 2020

1003
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:38,320
and I think 2018-2019, there was
a conference talk where he said

1004
01:02:39,800 --> 01:02:43,480
you need to draw close to the
Lord and receive those answers

1005
01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:46,200
for yourself and your family or
you will not survive.

1006
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:50,320
But as soon as 2020 hit,
everybody started acting like

1007
01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,680
that didn't exist.
And what we're really supposed

1008
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:55,800
to do is just wait for someone
else to tell us.

1009
01:02:55,800 --> 01:02:59,000
But that's not the way the Lord
works.

1010
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:04,760
Lehi only became a prophet
because he heeded the Lord's

1011
01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:10,960
word to, for him and his family,
That's, that's it, you know, and

1012
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:15,000
there were others in Jerusalem
at the time who either didn't

1013
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:19,720
get that memo or were given a
different memo.

1014
01:03:20,040 --> 01:03:23,760
They were carried away captive.
And that was the Lord's plan for

1015
01:03:23,760 --> 01:03:27,360
them.
And he, he had things for them

1016
01:03:27,360 --> 01:03:31,320
to do.
But with Lehi and his family, he

1017
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,080
told them to leave.
There was different guidance for

1018
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:38,520
different families and, and
that's, and that's, but the, the

1019
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:41,640
family is the organization that
God really made.

1020
01:03:42,080 --> 01:03:44,600
You could go throughout the
generations of the world and the

1021
01:03:44,600 --> 01:03:48,200
one consistent organization, the
one he set up in the Garden of

1022
01:03:48,200 --> 01:03:53,200
Eden was the family.
And, and it's and, and we only

1023
01:03:53,200 --> 01:03:57,960
need a profit for a, for general
guidance.

1024
01:03:58,560 --> 01:04:02,640
But when it comes to your
family, it's you.

1025
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:11,280
So Joseph tells A has a very
interesting comment about this

1026
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:14,040
this thing.
I'm sorry I went way off on

1027
01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:17,440
that, but my point was in order
to submit to the will of God,

1028
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,840
you have to know that God will
speak to you.

1029
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:21,280
Anybody.
Yeah.

1030
01:04:21,280 --> 01:04:23,960
And you, you have to be
comfortable in that space,

1031
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,720
right?
But Joseph Smith has an

1032
01:04:27,720 --> 01:04:30,560
interesting quote about this.
He said the minds of the

1033
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:33,760
Israelites were darkened when
they refused to go up to the

1034
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:35,200
mountain and meet God
themselves.

1035
01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:42,760
We have to be willing to
figuratively and sometimes

1036
01:04:42,760 --> 01:04:46,880
literally be willing to go meet
the Lord to, to go up the

1037
01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:50,600
mountain and, and to be there
and be comfortable in that

1038
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,520
space.
And that that takes practice and

1039
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:58,880
that takes work.
And likewise, we have to, to be

1040
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:06,120
able, again, within the confines
of, of, of doctrine, we have to

1041
01:05:06,120 --> 01:05:10,080
be willing to accept somebody
else's personal revelation.

1042
01:05:10,080 --> 01:05:13,200
Now that doesn't mean that that
is revelation for us, but we

1043
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:16,840
just have to respect that other
person's mission, what it is the

1044
01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:19,920
Lord is calling them to do
because we don't know their

1045
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,240
situation, right?
Maybe there's something there

1046
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:25,880
for that person that even though
it seems counter to us and to

1047
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:30,680
our our life narrative for them,
that's vital and that's

1048
01:05:30,680 --> 01:05:33,120
important.
And you don't ever want to be

1049
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:37,320
that individual that stands in
opposition to somebody else's

1050
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,920
stuff.
Now this, this is a balancing

1051
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:43,960
act because at the same time,
you're going to, you know,

1052
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:47,000
probably want to say, you know,
things when you see someone

1053
01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:50,240
approaching danger.
Like you sure got this right.

1054
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:53,280
I mean, so it's, it's a
balancing act for sure, but we

1055
01:05:53,280 --> 01:05:56,800
have to give some room for
people to, to have their own

1056
01:05:56,800 --> 01:06:00,840
mission and their own, their own
revelation.

1057
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:05,040
So let me ask you this question
in your life, right?

1058
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:09,320
We we've talked about kind of
the benefits of surrendering in

1059
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:14,720
terms of, you know, the last
days being just perilous and,

1060
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:18,040
and some of the ways that can be
a protection or at least put us

1061
01:06:18,040 --> 01:06:21,120
on the same page as God.
What are some of the other

1062
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:24,200
day-to-day blessings that you
could see coming out of this

1063
01:06:24,200 --> 01:06:26,600
idea of surrender, Surrendering
to the Lord.

1064
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:29,600
Peace.
Yeah.

1065
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:33,120
As we've been talking, one of
the things that has come to my

1066
01:06:33,120 --> 01:06:39,280
mind is I wonder if some of the
anxiety and depression that

1067
01:06:39,280 --> 01:06:44,600
people are facing is because it
feels like something is just not

1068
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:48,720
right.
But all of their boxes are

1069
01:06:48,720 --> 01:06:52,560
checked.
So society and sometimes even

1070
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:56,720
our church family members will
be like, oh, everything is good

1071
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:58,680
in your life and you still don't
feel good.

1072
01:06:58,960 --> 01:07:02,880
You need medicine.
And I'm not saying no one should

1073
01:07:02,880 --> 01:07:08,320
ever take medicine, but it's a
bit bizarre for for people to

1074
01:07:08,320 --> 01:07:12,720
walk around Joe Blow off the
street deciding that you need

1075
01:07:12,720 --> 01:07:14,920
medicine you.
Know what I mean?

1076
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:22,040
Like I think it's.
Bizarre and and as followers of

1077
01:07:22,040 --> 01:07:27,000
Christ, I think we should turn
to the Lord and I have had

1078
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,680
experiences in my life when the
Lord is like go to the doctor.

1079
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:34,920
You know, I'm so I'm not saying
you should never whatever, but

1080
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:37,800
I'm saying when something
doesn't feel right in your life

1081
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:42,360
and you're experiencing anxiety
or depression or something, it's

1082
01:07:42,360 --> 01:07:47,520
a good thing to check and say,
Lord, am I on the same page with

1083
01:07:47,560 --> 01:07:51,080
you?
Why don't I feel OK?

1084
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:54,120
Right.
And I think that sometimes

1085
01:07:54,120 --> 01:07:57,720
because we have this check box
from the world and our

1086
01:07:57,720 --> 01:08:02,480
preconceived ideas that if all
of these boxes are checked and

1087
01:08:02,480 --> 01:08:07,840
we don't feel OK, we're we freak
out, you know, and we're like,

1088
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:11,320
oh, something is deeply wrong
with me, blah, blah, blah, blah,

1089
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:12,480
blah.
And we just go up on this

1090
01:08:12,480 --> 01:08:14,320
tangent.
But we could turn to the Lord

1091
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:18,960
and say something feels off.
What do I need to do?

1092
01:08:18,960 --> 01:08:21,800
And he'll tell you, he'll tell
you if you do to go to the

1093
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:25,680
doctor because sometimes you do,
you know, and he'll tell you,

1094
01:08:26,279 --> 01:08:29,720
you might even be specific and
be like your hormones are out

1095
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:35,520
are one thing, you know, but but
also those feelings that people

1096
01:08:35,520 --> 01:08:39,160
describe with anxiety and
depression are also the feelings

1097
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:43,600
that we get when we're not
really on the Lord's path for

1098
01:08:43,600 --> 01:08:45,479
us.
A sense that something is wrong,

1099
01:08:45,479 --> 01:08:51,479
that we're out of place.
You know, there's some other

1100
01:08:51,479 --> 01:08:55,840
mental disorders that that taps
into, but but feeling displaced,

1101
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:59,160
feeling like we're not OK in our
skin, it's sometimes it's

1102
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:02,359
because something inside of us
knows that there's something

1103
01:09:02,359 --> 01:09:06,880
else we're supposed to be doing,
but our check box keeps us from

1104
01:09:06,880 --> 01:09:11,840
finding it unless we go to the
Lord and say, what am I?

1105
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:14,399
What am I getting wrong here?
You know what am I missing?

1106
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:19,160
Absolutely.
So often I think that we focus

1107
01:09:19,680 --> 01:09:25,720
on the the Holy Ghost just being
something that just brings you

1108
01:09:25,720 --> 01:09:29,640
warm and fuzzies, right?
That it's always got to be warm

1109
01:09:29,640 --> 01:09:31,720
or fuzzies or it can't be from
the Spirit.

1110
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:33,720
I don't think that's the truth
at all.

1111
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,880
So the Lord convicts us of sin.
Yep.

1112
01:09:37,160 --> 01:09:40,120
Well, and and he.
Just does it with a consistent

1113
01:09:40,240 --> 01:09:43,040
invitation to come, not a
rejection.

1114
01:09:43,120 --> 01:09:46,760
Right, exactly.
But often times I know in my own

1115
01:09:46,760 --> 01:09:51,279
life when I have felt that
feeling, like I've checked all

1116
01:09:51,279 --> 01:09:53,319
the boxes, I've done everything
I'm supposed to do.

1117
01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:55,080
Why am I still feeling like
that?

1118
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:57,040
Look, it was that feeling that
got me here.

1119
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:00,440
It was.
Yeah.

1120
01:10:00,480 --> 01:10:04,120
No, I, I remember the day.
I absolutely remember the day I

1121
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:06,800
was shaving.
I was getting ready to go to

1122
01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:09,080
church.
And again, I had been through

1123
01:10:09,080 --> 01:10:11,280
all the things, right?
I I was running them down in my

1124
01:10:11,280 --> 01:10:14,400
head.
I was like, I'm going to the

1125
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:17,000
temple once, sometimes twice a
week.

1126
01:10:17,240 --> 01:10:19,240
I'm filling my calling, paying
my tithing.

1127
01:10:19,240 --> 01:10:21,040
I'm associating with all the
right people.

1128
01:10:21,240 --> 01:10:22,800
Why am I still feeling like
this?

1129
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:26,000
Right?
And, and the answer was, well,

1130
01:10:26,120 --> 01:10:28,840
I've showed you some things and
you've kind of turned aside,

1131
01:10:30,040 --> 01:10:32,680
right?
This, this is not your path.

1132
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,960
I got something else in mind for
you, right?

1133
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:40,920
But it was that feeling of angst
that kind of motivated me to

1134
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:44,520
make the appropriate changes.
Now I lead a crazy, crazy life.

1135
01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:46,880
I'm not telling people they
should lead my life.

1136
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:53,200
By no means right.
What I am saying is that don't

1137
01:10:53,280 --> 01:10:59,080
medicate that away, right?
Do not make yourself numb.

1138
01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:04,000
Sometimes medicine's absolutely
needed so a person can function.

1139
01:11:04,520 --> 01:11:09,160
But because I think and now I'm
I'm going to say some other

1140
01:11:09,160 --> 01:11:12,680
things here that'll probably get
me a little push back here.

1141
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:16,480
We have become too comfortable,
right?

1142
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:24,000
Mankind from his inception has
been struggling, and the Lord

1143
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:28,240
has put biological I'm.
So sorry.

1144
01:11:29,080 --> 01:11:29,760
What's that?
Sorry.

1145
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,160
My phone just.
No, just.

1146
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:40,040
Turned it off.
Biological tools within us to

1147
01:11:40,040 --> 01:11:43,960
not just accept that struggle,
but need that struggle, right?

1148
01:11:44,280 --> 01:11:48,280
If we're not struggling, I've
noticed that people who have it

1149
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:52,680
too easy tend to get a little
depressed sometimes, right?

1150
01:11:55,160 --> 01:11:58,680
And so rather than just try to
medicate those feelings away,

1151
01:11:58,680 --> 01:12:01,960
because we live in a society now
where, you know, we get on

1152
01:12:01,960 --> 01:12:04,280
Facebook and we get on social
media and we're seeing

1153
01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:08,680
everybody's best moments, right?
And, and that's all we see, Liz.

1154
01:12:08,680 --> 01:12:11,680
And we're like, well, what the
Hell's the matter with me?

1155
01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:14,640
Why?
Why am I not looking like that,

1156
01:12:14,640 --> 01:12:16,320
right?
What what's going on with me,

1157
01:12:16,640 --> 01:12:17,120
right?
I.

1158
01:12:17,240 --> 01:12:21,520
Don't I look at it and I'm like,
I'm not sure how real that is.

1159
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,360
I'm happy for them if it is,
but.

1160
01:12:23,440 --> 01:12:26,840
Right, right.
And, and, and so we, we find

1161
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:28,920
our, we're constantly comparing
ourselves.

1162
01:12:29,200 --> 01:12:32,160
And then when we, we feel like
something's off or something's

1163
01:12:32,160 --> 01:12:37,760
not quite right because we have
the checklist and it's checked,

1164
01:12:37,880 --> 01:12:41,360
we feel like, well, gosh, then
this must just be all medical.

1165
01:12:41,720 --> 01:12:45,200
And we don't spend enough time
in that feeling because it is

1166
01:12:45,200 --> 01:12:49,680
uncomfortable to, to find out
that that's probably the Lord

1167
01:12:49,680 --> 01:12:52,080
prompting you that he needs you
to go a little bit deeper.

1168
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:54,600
He needs you to surrender a
little bit more.

1169
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:56,920
He needs you to do certain
things.

1170
01:12:57,320 --> 01:13:01,560
Now, my life's crazy, but I have
never been this happy and this

1171
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:06,920
busy simultaneously ever.
And, and there is a certain

1172
01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:13,160
comfort, there is a certain joy
that comes from just kind of

1173
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:15,200
putting your hands up and say,
I'll do whatever it is you want

1174
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:16,680
me to do.
You just tell me where to go.

1175
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:21,000
I'll go do that.
And it's tough And I, I don't

1176
01:13:21,000 --> 01:13:22,840
want anyone to think I have this
whooped at all.

1177
01:13:22,840 --> 01:13:27,040
I constantly fight with this,
but there is a certain beauty to

1178
01:13:27,040 --> 01:13:30,640
that as you learn to just
surrender, just to say you know

1179
01:13:30,640 --> 01:13:33,240
what your will.
If this is what you want for me,

1180
01:13:33,240 --> 01:13:36,960
so be it.
And then and then roll that

1181
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:39,080
direction and trust that he's
got you.

1182
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:44,040
And the other thing is, is he
does got you, but it may not

1183
01:13:44,040 --> 01:13:46,600
look the way you want it to or
the way you think it should.

1184
01:13:46,760 --> 01:13:50,480
And so sometimes just getting
rid, like we were talking

1185
01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:53,520
earlier, getting rid of all
those preconceptions of what

1186
01:13:53,520 --> 01:14:00,840
your life should look like and
focus on what the Lord wants is

1187
01:14:00,840 --> 01:14:05,320
the answer to finding happiness.
It's, it's in that surrender

1188
01:14:05,320 --> 01:14:08,280
that I think we find that peace
that Christ talks about, You

1189
01:14:08,280 --> 01:14:10,800
know, take my yoke upon you.
It'll it'll feel light.

1190
01:14:11,560 --> 01:14:14,520
Right.
And and that's, that's tough to

1191
01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:17,640
do, to put that all on the
altar, but I think that's really

1192
01:14:17,640 --> 01:14:21,520
our our only way to not just
eternal happiness, but really

1193
01:14:21,520 --> 01:14:26,320
happiness in this life.
Yeah, I think so too.

1194
01:14:26,320 --> 01:14:30,200
I think I can think of times in
my life that were really, really

1195
01:14:30,200 --> 01:14:39,000
hard, you know, if I explained
them, but knowing that I was

1196
01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:42,400
doing the Lord's will.
Was.

1197
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:47,680
Sustaining, and there's
something more deep and profound

1198
01:14:47,680 --> 01:14:50,960
about that than having things go
easily.

1199
01:14:51,640 --> 01:14:53,880
Absolutely.
Absolutely.

1200
01:14:54,600 --> 01:14:56,320
Yeah.
And, and, and that doesn't mean

1201
01:14:56,320 --> 01:14:58,000
that we don't do anything
either, right?

1202
01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,200
I want to get that out of the
way.

1203
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:02,400
This act of submission isn't
like, well, I submit, I'm done.

1204
01:15:02,400 --> 01:15:04,160
I can sit on the couch now,
right?

1205
01:15:04,520 --> 01:15:06,480
No.
Typically when you submit, the

1206
01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:09,000
Lord's about to put you to work.
Yeah, right.

1207
01:15:09,480 --> 01:15:13,080
You're although sometimes the
hardest counsel for me and I

1208
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:16,760
because of the health issues
that I've had, this has been the

1209
01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:20,880
council is to to rest and it's
actually the hardest counsel for

1210
01:15:20,880 --> 01:15:27,000
me to to take the the greatest
act of faith for me sometimes is

1211
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:31,760
when he says be still.
Yeah, that is tough, right?

1212
01:15:31,880 --> 01:15:33,800
Especially when it involves
keeping my mouth shut.

1213
01:15:35,640 --> 01:15:38,040
I am not even going to begin to
counsel you on that.

1214
01:15:39,600 --> 01:15:43,520
I, I, I have a problem of
keeping my mouth way too busy.

1215
01:15:44,880 --> 01:15:52,720
But yeah, no, absolutely you're,
you're 100% correct there.

1216
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:56,000
There is a time to apply
pressure in our lives, right?

1217
01:15:56,040 --> 01:16:00,280
To to do stuff even when it's
uncomfortable.

1218
01:16:02,200 --> 01:16:05,360
But there's also a time where
you just have to be still right?

1219
01:16:05,680 --> 01:16:08,480
Like there's been times where
I've been chomping at the bit to

1220
01:16:08,480 --> 01:16:12,000
do something and I've felt the
Lord say no, yeah, no.

1221
01:16:12,040 --> 01:16:13,920
And there's no time.
It's not.

1222
01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:18,920
No, it's not yet.
I I have so I have a way harder

1223
01:16:18,920 --> 01:16:21,960
time with that than with do
something.

1224
01:16:21,960 --> 01:16:26,800
Oh man, I I would so much rather
be doing something than than him

1225
01:16:26,800 --> 01:16:29,960
be like, no, no, you don't get
to fix this.

1226
01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:32,880
You don't get to control it.
You have to trust me.

1227
01:16:32,880 --> 01:16:37,960
I'd be like, right thinking that
it's not do nothing.

1228
01:16:37,960 --> 01:16:40,480
It's usually don't do anything
about this.

1229
01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:44,360
Go and do this instead.
Yeah, Yep, Yep.

1230
01:16:44,520 --> 01:16:47,920
So yeah, no, that, that part
where just being still, that can

1231
01:16:47,920 --> 01:16:51,520
be hard, especially if you're
naturally a kind of a go getter,

1232
01:16:51,560 --> 01:16:53,640
right.
That that can be tough.

1233
01:16:53,720 --> 01:16:56,480
That I've gone stir crazy a few
times.

1234
01:16:57,080 --> 01:16:59,760
I'd rather be taken the bull by
the horns, honestly.

1235
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:05,240
Oh, yeah, yeah, no, you know, I
remember, I remember, I can tell

1236
01:17:05,240 --> 01:17:09,040
you exactly where it was where
where I developed a lot of my

1237
01:17:09,040 --> 01:17:13,320
personality traits and it was
both good and bad, right.

1238
01:17:13,320 --> 01:17:18,760
It's funny how a good principle,
if over applied can can be just

1239
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:21,800
as bad.
No, you're good can be just as

1240
01:17:21,800 --> 01:17:25,400
bad as as embracing a wrong
principle.

1241
01:17:26,800 --> 01:17:31,680
I remember after after my old
man died, that that week I was

1242
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:34,040
supposed to be wrestling for
districts.

1243
01:17:34,520 --> 01:17:36,160
And there was a guy I was
supposed to wrestle.

1244
01:17:36,160 --> 01:17:37,960
I'll never forget him.
His name was Jake White.

1245
01:17:38,600 --> 01:17:43,480
And that dude was a farm kid
who'd been drinking raw milk

1246
01:17:43,480 --> 01:17:46,760
since the day he was born.
And he was big and he was

1247
01:17:46,760 --> 01:17:51,120
fundamentally sound.
And I was supposed to wrestle

1248
01:17:51,120 --> 01:17:53,200
that Friday, which was my dad's
funeral.

1249
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:57,560
And my coach had said, look, I
think I can get a waiver on

1250
01:17:57,560 --> 01:17:59,400
this.
I think there's some stuff you

1251
01:17:59,400 --> 01:18:01,520
could do.
And this my dad passed on a

1252
01:18:01,520 --> 01:18:06,040
Tuesday and this was Thursday.
And I said, what time's, what

1253
01:18:06,040 --> 01:18:08,400
time am I supposed to wrestle?
He's like, well, you're, you

1254
01:18:08,400 --> 01:18:11,960
know, the 170 category.
So you got some time, you know,

1255
01:18:11,960 --> 01:18:13,520
till the end.
And he's like, you're not

1256
01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:16,840
thinking about like going to
your dad's funeral and then

1257
01:18:16,840 --> 01:18:18,960
doing this, are you?
And I'm like, well, I kind of

1258
01:18:18,960 --> 01:18:19,920
AM.
And he's like, why?

1259
01:18:19,920 --> 01:18:23,320
And I was like, because I think
my old man would be pissed if I

1260
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:28,600
just capped on this.
And I remember I, I stepped on

1261
01:18:28,600 --> 01:18:32,480
the mat and the funniest thought
occurred to me just out of

1262
01:18:32,480 --> 01:18:35,240
nowhere.
I have hurt all week long.

1263
01:18:35,840 --> 01:18:38,840
All week long I have hurt and
and.

1264
01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:41,400
Now I'm going to take it out of
this poor kid.

1265
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:44,720
Well, it wasn't so much that,
although that did happen a

1266
01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:49,160
little bit, but it was like, and
all that hurt are things that I

1267
01:18:49,160 --> 01:18:54,080
can't control, right?
I cannot control when I put my

1268
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:57,080
foot on this mat.
If I am fundamentally sound

1269
01:18:57,080 --> 01:19:01,080
enough, if I am just a little
bit meaner than this other kid,

1270
01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:04,480
than Jake, I'm.
Sorry, my gosh.

1271
01:19:04,920 --> 01:19:08,120
No, you're good.
If I can, if I can be just a

1272
01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:12,840
little bit meaner than my
opponent, I can control

1273
01:19:12,840 --> 01:19:16,760
everything that happens inside
the circle for the next 3

1274
01:19:16,760 --> 01:19:19,640
rounds.
And it, it worked.

1275
01:19:19,760 --> 01:19:22,400
Now that's great in that sort of
situation.

1276
01:19:22,800 --> 01:19:26,160
And that's probably even good
most times, not all times, but

1277
01:19:26,160 --> 01:19:29,920
most times in business, right?
But that's not great for

1278
01:19:29,920 --> 01:19:33,280
relationships, right?
And that's definitely not great

1279
01:19:33,280 --> 01:19:36,960
when you're trying to build a
relationship with Deity because

1280
01:19:37,280 --> 01:19:41,000
it's not yours.
It's not yours will that you're

1281
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:44,720
trying to do, it's His will.
And so you have to be able to

1282
01:19:44,880 --> 01:19:46,520
learn to balance out a little
bit.

1283
01:19:47,040 --> 01:19:51,440
And I've often said you want to
take tenacity and be able to

1284
01:19:51,440 --> 01:19:53,800
apply that.
And whatever it is the Lord is

1285
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:56,080
telling you to do as you've
surrendered to him.

1286
01:19:56,400 --> 01:20:00,400
I think, I think I don't know
for certain, but I think that's

1287
01:20:00,400 --> 01:20:02,240
probably kind of the winning
formula there.

1288
01:20:03,760 --> 01:20:08,960
And so you, you have to be able
to know when to be that

1289
01:20:08,960 --> 01:20:12,240
tenacious and then when to back
off, when to throttle down.

1290
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:17,000
And just take a step back and
understand you can't control

1291
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:20,200
every scenario nor nor should
you want to.

1292
01:20:20,200 --> 01:20:22,920
That's the other thing I found
on the times I've wanted to

1293
01:20:22,920 --> 01:20:26,080
control scenarios and I've
tried, I've screwed it up.

1294
01:20:27,200 --> 01:20:29,680
I've screwed it up right.
When you, when you start letting

1295
01:20:29,680 --> 01:20:33,160
your will win over God's, that's
when things get all screwed up.

1296
01:20:33,720 --> 01:20:39,600
And so it takes a lot of
discernment to know to know

1297
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:42,600
where that line is.
Do you have any ideas on on how

1298
01:20:42,600 --> 01:20:50,080
you can tell when something is
of it is coming from the Lord

1299
01:20:50,080 --> 01:20:51,760
and when something is just your
will?

1300
01:20:55,240 --> 01:20:58,960
Pride is usually you need to
know what it feels like when

1301
01:20:58,960 --> 01:21:03,080
you're in proud and pride when
you're being proud.

1302
01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:13,560
Honestly, the hardest time for
me to obey is when it's actually

1303
01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:16,440
in alignment with my will,
because then I'm like, is this

1304
01:21:16,440 --> 01:21:20,040
just me?
You know, this feels too

1305
01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:25,840
confirming, not sacrificial
enough to be, you know, to it.

1306
01:21:25,960 --> 01:21:28,520
But obedience is better than
sacrifice too.

1307
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:33,920
So.
So yeah, it I, it's easier for

1308
01:21:33,920 --> 01:21:37,640
me to know the voice of the Lord
when something that I would not

1309
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:41,920
want feels peaceful, then when
something I would want feels

1310
01:21:41,920 --> 01:21:49,920
peaceful, Right.
The thing that comes to mind

1311
01:21:49,920 --> 01:21:53,600
most is there are when it comes
to those preconceived things

1312
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:56,200
that I haven't maybe checked in
with the Lord on.

1313
01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:57,840
But it's not really his will for
me.

1314
01:21:58,040 --> 01:22:04,560
But I've assumed that it is.
My cue is that I'm doing

1315
01:22:04,680 --> 01:22:09,400
everything I can and it's just
roadblock after roadblock after

1316
01:22:09,400 --> 01:22:13,480
roadblock after roadblock,
everything I can do and then

1317
01:22:14,040 --> 01:22:18,240
swipe.
It's just wiped out and I'm

1318
01:22:18,240 --> 01:22:20,400
feeling frustrated and angry at
God.

1319
01:22:20,440 --> 01:22:26,600
And then I stop and I go, well,
if he's not helping, maybe it's

1320
01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:29,920
not his will.
And that's my cue to turn around

1321
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:34,440
and go, OK, so I thought I was
doing your will.

1322
01:22:35,000 --> 01:22:40,080
Is this your will?
And he's like, no, you know, so

1323
01:22:40,080 --> 01:22:44,120
sometimes feeling abandoned by
God is a good time to turn

1324
01:22:44,120 --> 01:22:47,600
around and go, oh, am I doing
his will for me?

1325
01:22:47,600 --> 01:22:51,560
Because it's never God
abandoning us.

1326
01:22:51,840 --> 01:22:57,760
It's only us abandoning him.
Absolutely, Absolutely and.

1327
01:22:58,080 --> 01:23:00,800
Sometimes there's stuff that is
his will and you just there's

1328
01:23:00,800 --> 01:23:04,360
hard things to overcome, like,
but it's still good to go to him

1329
01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:06,840
and say, I am I on the right
track here?

1330
01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:09,920
Because I feel like, you know, I
need to know if I'm going to

1331
01:23:09,920 --> 01:23:13,920
keep pushing through this, that,
that this is what you want, you

1332
01:23:13,920 --> 01:23:17,520
know?
Absolutely, absolutely no.

1333
01:23:17,520 --> 01:23:19,960
And, and, and it does take
discernment, right?

1334
01:23:19,960 --> 01:23:23,240
Because sometimes those
struggles, you know, sometimes

1335
01:23:23,240 --> 01:23:26,520
those roadblocks are like, turn
around, turn around, come face

1336
01:23:26,520 --> 01:23:30,160
me, let's talk this through and
let's get get you recalibrated.

1337
01:23:30,600 --> 01:23:32,720
Other times he's like, no, you
just need to tear that wall

1338
01:23:32,720 --> 01:23:34,240
down.
You just got to go through that

1339
01:23:34,240 --> 01:23:34,960
wall, right?
Right.

1340
01:23:34,960 --> 01:23:37,360
And that does take discernment,
right?

1341
01:23:37,560 --> 01:23:43,120
That does take a lot of prayer.
But the beautiful thing is he's

1342
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,960
always there, right?
You can always go back and be

1343
01:23:45,960 --> 01:23:48,200
like, you sure.
OK.

1344
01:23:48,680 --> 01:23:52,960
And then just go.
So yeah, no, I I would agree

1345
01:23:52,960 --> 01:23:55,600
with you.
Just just constant check

1346
01:23:55,600 --> 01:23:58,160
insurance with the Lord, I think
is a big part of learning to

1347
01:23:58,160 --> 01:24:03,440
surrender to his will 100%.
So well, Liz, that's really all

1348
01:24:03,440 --> 01:24:05,440
the questions I got for you.
Is there anything you wanted to

1349
01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:07,440
add that I didn't add that we
didn't talk about?

1350
01:24:07,960 --> 01:24:10,480
I can't think of anything which
is kind of different for me.

1351
01:24:11,800 --> 01:24:13,040
It's all right.
That's good.

1352
01:24:13,040 --> 01:24:14,600
It means we had a good
conversation.

1353
01:24:14,600 --> 01:24:18,400
Well, awesome.
Look, we, I, I think we got two

1354
01:24:18,400 --> 01:24:20,280
more of these things that we're
going to do throughout the year

1355
01:24:20,280 --> 01:24:21,840
here.
So I'm I'm looking forward to

1356
01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:23,800
the next one.
Yeah.

1357
01:24:24,720 --> 01:24:26,200
I'm looking.
Forward to it too.

1358
01:24:26,560 --> 01:24:28,080
Keep in touch.
Will do.

1359
01:24:28,240 --> 01:24:29,880
All right.
Bye everybody.

1360
01:25:00,760 --> 01:25:03,520
You're listening to the Mormon
Renegade podcast.